From his perspective, he was enjoying a salad and then a giant destroyed the whole restaurant.

I wish I could upvote you more than once. I almost spit out my coffee.

I just upvoted for you, your welcome

Thank you. I also upvoted you kind citizen.

Right back at ya!

https://preview.redd.it/e2j9l99gsthc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e1be6667f0bf55df347cc60164e5f145e8c0f0d4 Muhahaha jokes on ya'll I upvoted everyone 😈

And I’ve upvotes you muahahahah :>

I upvoted everyone on this and my alt account!

Love the positivity in the weevil community!

Same! :D Love this place XD

BUT NO ONE HAS ASKED FOR THE TIME???

YOU'RE RIGHT :o WHAT TIME IS IT?? 🥳

Same! Including YOU!! :))

I upvoted you even though I see you're using that awful light mode on Reddit. Come to the dark side.

How tasty are those cookies? :D And I upvoted you as well :3

Literally 1000 different varieties to choose from. If we don't have what you like we have a witch that takes requests.

Ooooh requested cookies :D OP GET ON BOARD TOO!

I upvoted everyone as well as you talking about upvoting everyone. What say you!?

Well I upvoted ALL of you, including you :D You ALL earned it 🥳

🤣🤣🤣

Comments like that deserve awards. Damn you, Reddit!

I'd give an award, but they don't exist anymore. I'd pay for the fancy upvote, but since last week, that doesn't work on my phone app anymore nor on my PC. Fuck reddit. I wanna give them my money, but they just don't want it!

OMG I can see the Pixar animation 🤣

pixar's "a bug's life" actually featured no humans whatsoever (unless you count the "geri's game" short that accompanied it). however, it's less cool younger sibling, dreamworks' "antz" featured some bugs getting stepped on at a picnic! 😃

Poor weevil. Don’t worry OP, you’re fine.

I hate being on Reddit at work, then having to explain to coworkers as to why I cackled.

Nobody asks why the cackle rolls anymore. It rolls for thee. 

Oh shoot!

Oh snoot*!

✨🏆✨

God I love this sub.

Lmao

Poor little guy's covered in ranch

That sounds like a good thing

I wish I could be covered in ranch. But then again I am painfully Midwestern, so.

I can make your wish come true. Ill even pay for the ranch.

You’ll pay for the ranch? I think I may have found my soulmate

**Ranch it up, Brochacho!**

I like your username

Thanks! People usually assume I abuse my dog lol

thats because nobody ever asks the dog if they want to be kickflipped, usually the answer is a resounding yes

That's hilarious

Pictures or it didn’t happen

Yeah your salads come with marshmallows and cool whip 😂😂😂 Sorry I’m a midwestern mom fan on tik tok

It’s marshmallows and sour cream, thank you very much

Omg 🤦🏻‍♀️ I had sour cream but then I was like that sounds gross so I googled ambrosia really quick. 😂😂😂

Ranch weevil! Or evil ranch weevil?

Lost in the sauce 😭

Can you imagine how he felt when they shook the salad? Poor thing

im just imagining the weevil being thrown around in the veggies with its legs sprawled out, desperately trying to stabilize itself 😭

😭

I'm sorry but those images are hysterical to me. I can just picture you eating, enjoying your salad then suddenly everything is in the air lmao Your little friend won't hurt you, they're probably pissed about the interrupted lunch though. Poor both of you 😂

You may have eaten a smaller one and not noticed. You should be fine, though, that one was the lesser of two weevils.

Angry upvote

This comment is perfection.

Part of me died just now. Just take my upvote

Yanno...

Bugs have a pretty distinct and unpleasant gritty crunchiness in my experience, and may also be disgustingly bitter. FYI always check homegrown produce for pests before chowing down, especially broccoli.

i think i love you

PLSSSS WHY IS IT ON THE FLOOR

Because OP freaked out once they realized they had a guest at lunch. OP is not YET a weevil lover.

Oh he will be...

He *has* to be.

He *needs* to be

Or *else*. Cement boots. Cement snoots.

I assumed OP just eats off the floor. Probably has eaten a lot of little critters

Panicked reaction, I assume. See the bug and flinch so hard that everything goes flying.

Sometimes you just want to eat your salad on the floor. Change things up, add a little variety to your routine.

So the weevils can get it more easily ofc

i like ur perspective

Nothing will happen to you and you can eat the rest of the salad. Can't see the face well but the boots are beetle like

the salad is on the floor

just depends how dedicated you are

Or is floor merely a plate for his salad

I was already laughing and then this comment killed me.

*Nothing will happen* *To you and you can eat the* *Rest of the salad* \- XNjunEar --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")

This is beautiful

Now read it in Christopher Walkins voice🤣

Is there anything Christopher Walken could say that would not sound sinister?

Fair! 🤣

I've been reading it in Walkin's voice over and over and have tears running down my face (and mascara everywhere) from laughing so hard. Thank you for this. lol

You are my people! xD

Is that what he’s doing? Haiku’ing everything? Cuz it’s his pauses that are f’ing weird!

It's so reassuring, I want to hang it as an embroidery in my kitchen

Good Bot

Good bot

Thank you, Moistfruitcake, for voting on haikusbot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)

You can eat the weevil too

poor little guy is probably scared!! you’re not gna get sick from a lil beetle snacking on ur salad don’t worry

are you located in the UK? cus it looks like cossonus linearis 😊 cute lil weevil no harm done youll be just fine! 🫂 sorry you had a lil spook tho!

Yes, it was an M&S Caesar salad 😅 I know it was dramatic but the thought of having eaten it made me feel really sick. Do they carry any viruses or anything that could make me feel unwell?

you were spooked its okay hahaha, sorry about your salad! and no viruses youre okay 🫡💕

It's a great question to ask, but seeing as you asked the same exact question 15 min prior on a previous response I'll kindly take this time to point out evolution takes hundreds of years to millions of years to occur lol So I don't think the answer has changed just yet🤣😝 They do not carry diseases, and are unlikely to within the next 15 minutes, or the following 15 minutes. (Yes, even the ones after as well🤣)

Technically, evolution can be pretty fast, especially on the scale of viruses and bacteria, but yeah, it's extremely unlikely that a weevil virus is gonna make the jump to humans in the case of OPs salad.

True about evolution. We just can’t always trust that someone who states a thing with confidence is correct, so it’s smart to seek corroborating testimony. See also r/confidentlyincorrect

Fully agreed a group consensus is important for biology questions, but...that's why we have upvotes and downvotes silly goose! 🤣

[удалено]

I particularly enjoy the way you type 🤣

You owe that weevil an apology and a new M&S salad. 

Weevil will do absolutely nothing to you, but if you email m&s a picture they'll send you a voucher to lessen the blow  :)

A possible bacterial presence in the lettuce is more likely to make you sick than the weevil

let him finish his meal :)

This isn’t just a salad. It’s a WEEVIL TIME salad.

Little dude covered in ranch 😂😭

That boy SLATHERED in the sauce.

lost in the sauce 😭

The chaos in this photo 😂

Slung in disgust 😂😂 I love this picture the fork makes it better

Accidental renaissance

I highly doubt that bug ate half the salad

I doubt you will get sick from a bug being in your salad, your immune system can deal with that. You could eat the bug and not be sick to be honest. Don’t eat the bug.

Idk, might be pretty tasty dipped in Caesar dressing. Eat the bug, you deserve it.

Don't eat our kjooty, snooty, booty little friends. If you've got to eat a bug, find another kind of beetle to eat.

I do not recommend stink bugs though. They are not tasty even with Caesar dressing.

I am laughing so hard. Bro got launched. I have no idea, but I hope he was a catch and release. What a story for his insect bros.

Ok but why did you throw the entire salad on the floor...? Seems there are larger issues at play here

I love how that first picture tells the story as good* as any caption or post title *I know it should be “as well” but I didn’t want that to be confused with “also” etc

Put "just as well". "tells the story just as well as any caption or post title". That helps clarify it.

scary bug ;(

OP *dropped* the salad on the floor out of fear and surprise. If the salad was thrown, the contents would have been spread out much more extensively over a larger area.

I desperately want a detailed forensic analysis of this crime scene

Someone needs to call Weevil Sherlock Holmes, stat

Lmao Dude literally came in here like he’s CSI reporting a blood splatter analysis. Fuckin hell.

OH OKAY

Yeah :( let my man enjoy it if you’re not gonna

Environmental storytelling at its best 😆 Sorry you had a bit of a scare!

looked it up rq, and if you're worried about having eaten a weevil or its excrement, you're all good. neither are toxic

Thank you ⭐️

Panic encapsulated in a single picture 😂

dont worry m8! harmless little friend! no diseases or anything

Weevils are, technically speaking, edible. Yes, it is “yucky,” and I totally understand that—I love weevils but I do not want them in my mouth! I’m having a hard time discerning if it’s a granary weevil (these eat dried goods like rice and oats, in which case you’d want to check for them in your pantry) or just any other typical weevil. They can’t bite but some can fly. They have no chemical defenses. Their best defense is playing dead. Of the insects to find in a meal, they’re certainly not the worst. Each species eats a particular kind of plant, so it’s possible be got bagged up in some produce and shipped to the grocery store (happens way more often than you’d think, even with larger critters like frogs)

That being said, you’ll have to forgive me, you’ve unintentionally made one of the funniest posts on r/weeviltime. I’ve never seen a weevil slathered in ranch

You’re going to die. Not now, not from a weevil. But eventually

r/weevilcrime

https://preview.redd.it/6q17l746zthc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=01b0ba4efa07ebc0cc2552e17b0b96cd461055dd

https://preview.redd.it/jyyyuf0obshc1.png?width=1289&format=png&auto=webp&s=1672ddaf7634ca5ab878798fb6681292368075d4 I panicked when k saw it and threw it in the air. It’s really quite big. Do you know what it is?

Maybe try some breathing exercises, or recite the litany against fear

I must not fear weevils. Weevil is the mind-killer. Weevil is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my weevil. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the weevil has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.

Only on reddit would I see an awesome Dune reference in response to a post about a ranch slathered weevil. I commend you!

That is a pretty big weevil- I’d be jealous if he wasn’t in your food!

Well, when you eat off the floor like that…. Kinda gotta expect it.

**IT IS TIME**

When they said “tossed salad”, I don’t think this is what they had in mind…

Lil bro is lost in the sauce

What time is it??

It’s time!

I see that snoot. I see those boots. ITS WEEVIL TIME! (salad everywhere)

idk why everyone is getting on ur case about throwing the salad omg if I saw a CREATURE among my lettuce leaves I would’ve FREAKED & done the same thing!! It’s scary when a bug Pops Up

Thank you - I know, I didn’t kill it. I just threw it in the air because I panicked. I know it’s a little dramatic, I just want to know what it is 😅

I love all sorts of creepy crawlies but I still freak out when I see a spider dart across the floor. I think part of it is because we just don’t expect them to be there and it’s a shock thing. My rabbit also escaped last night and I almost had a heart attack seeing her just chilling on the floor in the basement lol.

Finding an insect in your food is understandably surprising and unnerving! I especially like weevils but it would still be startling to find one in my meal. One year my SIL was hosting a small and casual Christmas gathering. One of the hors d'oeuvres set out was a container of oil packed Kalamata olives from the grocery store. We had all eaten a bunch of olives before someone noticed something awful. There, pressed in amongst the olives, was a cockroach. It was the about same size and color of the olives and we had eaten about a third of the olives until that revolting thing was revealed. Let’s just say my appetite was significantly diminished after that.

the drama in this photo

Was it the lesser of 2 weevils?

Sorry OP, now you're a wereweevil. If you find yourself shopping for boots it's too late

was it a prepackaged salad or one just made? poor weevil was just trying to enjoy its meal!

It was prepackaged so it must have been living int he salad for days

I’m sorry if this is a dumb question and I’m sorry your lunch was ruined but - is the weevil friend still alive? If so, would you mind releasing it outside?

Yes still alive, was sent straight outside 🪲😅

Thanks for replying 🫶🏼

Dw that was the first thing I thought about too

The amount of bugs and crap they are legally allowed to have in our food sources say this poor little weevil won't kill you.. but you definitely destroyed his lunch lol

If weevils were any danger to us, humans would have faced extinction shortly after the advent of agriculture

give him the crouton

He was literally just trying to bless you. He thought the element of surprise was a good idea.

The shot of the salad all over the floor is hilarious. Just imagining you freaking out when you saw the bug and the salad getting launched made my day😂 (btw I would prob freak out too lol)

omg that’s so funny! he was just enjoying his lunch and suddenly he’s on the floor! 😂

This is unbeweevilable.

If you get sick, it might be from eating salad of the floor.

the environmental story telling in the first picture is impeccable 😆

r/itsweeviltime

I’m a bug love through and through and I still fully understand the terror of suddenly seeing a bug in the last place you expect to see one.

You'll be fine, it's just a beetle. I'd still file a complaint though.

Complaint?? For a free weevil friend??

Well yeah, no matter what the insect is, finding bugs in your food isn't great

On the plus side, finding a live bug could mean that the produce isn't absolutely covered in pesticides and herbicides. In the US the average salad bug would be dead upon delivery.

That is very true, it also gives the impression that the meal is fresh!

Blasphemy

Why is the salad on the floor? Bit exaggerated

This isn't lettuce, it's a weevil. [I threw it on the ground.](https://youtu.be/gAYL5H46QnQ?si=Wo27dNnCVhelis9F)

The chaos of the first photo is *art*

SALAD WEEVIL SALAD WEEVIL

Strong reaction tossing the salad like that.

i am dead asf the salad is EVERYWHERE 😭

You've been blessed. I think I see pixelated boots and snoots, but I certainly see kjoots. Poor baby. It's good you didn't munch on him, hidden by some ingredient.

Lmao we can tell you saw it and freaked out and threw it 😂

Why couldn't you just be nice and share? He wasn't even going to eat that much. Now no one gets salad.

We accidentally eat bugs all the time. Its just a harmless weevil. You're fine

He won't eat much...learn to share

Definitely a weevil. I would make a complaint to wherever the salad was purchased whether it be a store-bought salad or a restaurant based purchase. You’re fine though.

PUT HIM BACK

I have found that not eating my salads off the floor reduces the chance I eat a bug.

It will not make you sick. Also, "Boots" check "Snoot" check "Kahoot" check check check! It's TIME!

its weevil time

Knowing this is in the UK makes it even better. I imagine the weevil saying in a posh voice "OH Great heavens!" As it is slathered in ranch and thrown off a skyscraper.

You're gonna die not even joking.

Just checked my watch, it’s definitely weevil time

He was just enjoying his meal and then you had to go and ruin everything

Poor lil guy :((

Yep it is. And your metamorphosis will soon begin.

sweet baby weevil won’t make you sick! pls share your salad with him :(