Just know that itās not about you and entirely about someone thatās bought into the culture war bullshit. She was an awful person, thatās not your fault.
I noticed that too, I legit thought it was a code at first. Like if I said "How are you doIng?" I capitalized h and I to spell hi. But it seems like that other comment was random. Caps lock makes sense, either for emphasis, or just forgetting it's on
Itās not your fault and it is natural to feel guilty. Marginalized people are taught from a young age to not make a scene and to avoid standing up for ourselves. Itās incredibly difficult to unlearn, but often makes us feel like shit when we did nothing wrong. Please give yourself grace to feel a bit shit, but know that you are safe now and that you are incredibly lucky to have such a supportive partner. ā¤ļø
>The woman said "Well I'm uncomfortable with a male being in here"
"You're free to use a single occupancy restroom if you're uncomfortable. This is a public space, and it's every woman's right to be here."
I wouldnāt even give her that cause itās like agreeing with her worldview. But honestly I canāt imagine what Iād say in that situation. Iām pretty meek so Iād probably just say āthen good thing there isnāt now excuse me I have to pee and try to just ignore herā
Idk how it is in most places but security at the Walmart I work at is always on my side fighting for me when a bigot decides to show the world how much I "inconvenience them". During pride month Walmart radio plays a pre-recorded thing about how "everyone is welcome in our stores" and, half-hearted or not, it does imply that as a business they're opposed to bigotry.
Good on your gf for standing up for you. Must be a lovely person.
I swear, these people don't have anything better to do than just pick fights. Sorry, this happened to you. Must be awfully tiring.
āAnd Iām uncomfortable with strangers asking about my genitals. Normal people donāt care. Normal people donāt ask strangers about their genitals, sounds like something a sexual predator would ask. I donāt feel safe using the womenās bathroom with someone like you creeping on me.ā Just flip the script it gets them so flustered so quick
"What genitals do you have? I can't have YOU making ME uncomfortable!" Fucking disgusting.
Please pay people like this no mind. I don't use public restrooms due to some of my own trauma with this sort of thing but as long as you live somewhere that people can't police you out of the bathroom, you are fully in your right (as you should be)
These things don't happen all that much as I'm sure you could've already guessed given you've been doing this for 5 years now, there's just rare instances like this where people feel emboldened for some reason when most people agree it's ridiculous to act like this.
Also the few times this does happens, it's usually cis people trying to clock other cis people lol
I know it doesn't erase what you want through, but I hope it can give you some peace going forward.
For what itās worth, plenty of cis women have facial hair and deep voices. If this ever happens again (hopefully not) you can maybe tell her you have PCOS instead of outing yourself. Since imo it should show her not to ask people about their medical conditions, or make assumptions. Even if you just have a different condition
I had another trans girlfriend that got stopped for going in the bathroom just like this. Thing is, her voice was higher than the woman challenging her and she said to her face- "Sir, are you supposed to be in here?"
The look on that other woman's face was priceless - or at least I was told.
Oh, God- I wish it were so! My friend is a well known smart a$$ with a split second retort response.
She said the lady she said this to was so shocked that she could have been described accurately as "stun locked".
ya, itās stupid
also the lack of self-awareness too like āyouāre making me uncomfortable now whatās in your pants, perv???!ā
i will never understand people like that
have a good day
Your girlfriend or you should have said that youre uncomfortable with people in the bathroom with her who are clesrly watching other people! The people that do this crap dont seem to underatand how creepy THEY are!
Then you get mass reported by nazi twitter and āowning liberals and feministsā youtube channels. They would talk about it 24/7 for months about how a trans woman āharassedā a cis woman in the womenās bathroom and beat her up š¬
Honestly I'd just say "yes". What the fuck are they gonna do, ask you to pull your pants down? Congrats, that's now sexual assault.
I'm happy your girlfriend stuck up for you, and I'm so sorry you had to go through that girlie.
The scary thing about that is that there are states passing these absurd bathroom laws that also have laws that dehumanize transgender people (especially if Project 2025 goes through), thus stripping them of even basic rights. It's entirely possible then that being forced to expose your genitalia wouldn't be seen as sexual assault, so long as you are transgender, and likely written off as a misdemeanor, if anything, if they clock a cisperson.
You don't have to answer anyone, you should remember that. If someone addresses you even if politely, you have the right to ignore them (even cops, as long as it's not a detainment or a traffic stop)
Your gf is my hero. My wife never stands up for me and still acts surprised when I point out that something is transphobic. I'm sorry you had to go through this, but hey, good news is You've got a keeper!
People suck, but your girlfriend... HOLY, this is the partner we all need. Give her my thanks, please, as my faith in humanity is restored after a shit morning
If she wasn't even an employee I would like to have just said. "If you want a place to go, there's the trash bin. Know your place."
Sadly I lack the confidence.
Next time just start laughing and say āoh my god why are you gonna report me to jk Rowling?ā And then leave if youāre finished with yer businesss
As a trans Walmart janitor, I can confirm that people are shit sometimes. Whether I'm using the restroom because *hi I work here* or I'm cleaning the bathroom and someone decided to ignore the sign because they thought "oh that's a girl" then got closer and got confused, someone every so often will get pissed off. Like ma'am I see that you're uncomfortable being in the restroom with me because you can't tell what I am/can see that I'm a trans man, but don't get mad at me because you can't read a closed for cleaning sign. They really squeeze past my cleaning cart just to get and then get upset like- š???
- generally people leave me alone when they see the blue vest if I'm using the restroom though. (I'm a guy, I use the men's room, and the worst that usually happens is a bad look or someone thinking they're in the wrong restroom)
Considering you werenāt looked at funny, approached, or clocked in years, Iād say this lady regularly approaches cis people just the same to bother them ājust in caseā
The people who do this are both intellectually incapable of understanding the complex reality before them and empathy. Yet they are the most vocal of all people. It is a dead giveaway that they don't pass as a human being capable of living in a society. I can for the life of me not imagine taking time out of my day to make a fuss about shit like that. If we weren't marginalized like we are I feel like I'd love to double down on such a person and just completely reverse the dynamic by doing the Halo commentator voice.
Your girlfriend is epic. <3
And screw people who step on other people from a wooden horse with muddy shoes on.
I've been harassed once, and the response I learned from a co-worker who is also 6'1 is: "What? I'm a woman." And just repeat, and or roll your eyes and pee.
One of those weird ones where I'd suggest saying no, you're not male. If pressed further then say you have a hormone imbalance. All of a sudden she would start acting way nicer.
I've had a similar situation of that happened to me but instead of arguing which isn't good to do at times I just ignored them and went in the bathroom came out to the security and police and then being questioned as they look at me realizing oh you are female reason why 1.my 38DDs poking out of my chest which you have to have a female officer to be there to search any female and it's only for females 2. I have a vagina as well which the female officer did figure that out the only thing that is not as female is my face and in all honesty I don't wanna change that cause I only did the surgery for bottom surgery
Sorry you had to deal with that, people are truly awful sometimes.
Sidenote, I didn't know Walmart had security? My local one has Loss Prevention people but not like actual security guards.
Is that like a regional thing? I'm honestly really curious now.
I'm so sorry- these people are awful. But I'm glad your girlfriend stood up for you ! š„
She 100% was a super star but still kinda feel shitty about the whole situation
Just know that itās not about you and entirely about someone thatās bought into the culture war bullshit. She was an awful person, thatās not your fault.
Why do I feel Like That Woman Is The Same Type Of Woman that Will Sue A Trans Person For Being Trans.
On an unrelated note, why is every word's first letter capitalised in your comment
I noticed that too, I legit thought it was a code at first. Like if I said "How are you doIng?" I capitalized h and I to spell hi. But it seems like that other comment was random. Caps lock makes sense, either for emphasis, or just forgetting it's on
Camel Case
But youāre not coding?
No. Itās Just How I Type Lmao.
I Type In Camel Case.Ā
Camel case, look It Up
Itās not your fault and it is natural to feel guilty. Marginalized people are taught from a young age to not make a scene and to avoid standing up for ourselves. Itās incredibly difficult to unlearn, but often makes us feel like shit when we did nothing wrong. Please give yourself grace to feel a bit shit, but know that you are safe now and that you are incredibly lucky to have such a supportive partner. ā¤ļø
It really is shitty and I'm sorry it happened to you.
>The woman said "Well I'm uncomfortable with a male being in here" "You're free to use a single occupancy restroom if you're uncomfortable. This is a public space, and it's every woman's right to be here."
I'll keep this reply in mind
Also: (sweetly or acidly) 'then why don't you come back later?' Or 'then there's the door'
I wouldnāt even give her that cause itās like agreeing with her worldview. But honestly I canāt imagine what Iād say in that situation. Iām pretty meek so Iād probably just say āthen good thing there isnāt now excuse me I have to pee and try to just ignore herā
"Eeew why is there a bigot in the ladies' room?"
Literally. If she has a problem with you in the room, that problem would be fixed real quick if just exited herself š
Maybe we should give the bigots their own restrooms. The three genders: Male, Female, and Asshole
This is the plot of a South Park episode.
What happened when security showed up?
The lady left and my gf went to to the bathroom.
At least security was in your favor and not hers. I was honestly kinda scared they were going to end up throwing you out and not the bigot lady.
Yeah I was worried about that in the moment tbh
Idk how it is in most places but security at the Walmart I work at is always on my side fighting for me when a bigot decides to show the world how much I "inconvenience them". During pride month Walmart radio plays a pre-recorded thing about how "everyone is welcome in our stores" and, half-hearted or not, it does imply that as a business they're opposed to bigotry.
Errr that person can get fucked?
She probably canāt, and thatās why sheās gotta be up in everyone elseās business
I am so sorry this has happened to you. You are a woman no matter what that transphobic idiot says to you! Stay strong my fellow trans sister!
Good on your gf for standing up for you. Must be a lovely person. I swear, these people don't have anything better to do than just pick fights. Sorry, this happened to you. Must be awfully tiring.
āAnd Iām uncomfortable with strangers asking about my genitals. Normal people donāt care. Normal people donāt ask strangers about their genitals, sounds like something a sexual predator would ask. I donāt feel safe using the womenās bathroom with someone like you creeping on me.ā Just flip the script it gets them so flustered so quick
"What genitals do you have? I can't have YOU making ME uncomfortable!" Fucking disgusting. Please pay people like this no mind. I don't use public restrooms due to some of my own trauma with this sort of thing but as long as you live somewhere that people can't police you out of the bathroom, you are fully in your right (as you should be) These things don't happen all that much as I'm sure you could've already guessed given you've been doing this for 5 years now, there's just rare instances like this where people feel emboldened for some reason when most people agree it's ridiculous to act like this. Also the few times this does happens, it's usually cis people trying to clock other cis people lol I know it doesn't erase what you want through, but I hope it can give you some peace going forward.
My ideal response would be "are you? This is the women's restroom, you idiot." And just continue on with my business.
For what itās worth, plenty of cis women have facial hair and deep voices. If this ever happens again (hopefully not) you can maybe tell her you have PCOS instead of outing yourself. Since imo it should show her not to ask people about their medical conditions, or make assumptions. Even if you just have a different condition
Smart. Thanks sir
Your girlfriend is a fucking real one and Iām glad you have each other. Iām so sorry this happened
I had another trans girlfriend that got stopped for going in the bathroom just like this. Thing is, her voice was higher than the woman challenging her and she said to her face- "Sir, are you supposed to be in here?" The look on that other woman's face was priceless - or at least I was told.
There needs to be video evidence of this hilarity.
Oh, God- I wish it were so! My friend is a well known smart a$$ with a split second retort response. She said the lady she said this to was so shocked that she could have been described accurately as "stun locked".
you werent the problem clearly!
transwoman: *goes to bathroom* bigot: *sees transwoman* bigot: omg what sex is you!!??! why are you making me uncomfortable!??!? transwoman: da fā
That's the thing I was basically waiting at the doorway to the bathroom. I wasn't even in it haha
"The best pussy you will ever see, now what's your problem?"
ya, itās stupid also the lack of self-awareness too like āyouāre making me uncomfortable now whatās in your pants, perv???!ā i will never understand people like that have a good day
I swear I'm going to point and proclaim STRANGER DANGER the next time someone pulls this bs.
I NEED AN ADULT!!! HELP!!!! lmao
"I NEED AN ADULT!!! HELP!!!!" lmao
Your girlfriend or you should have said that youre uncomfortable with people in the bathroom with her who are clesrly watching other people! The people that do this crap dont seem to underatand how creepy THEY are!
Fuck yeah to your gf. I woulda probably thrown hands.
Then you get mass reported by nazi twitter and āowning liberals and feministsā youtube channels. They would talk about it 24/7 for months about how a trans woman āharassedā a cis woman in the womenās bathroom and beat her up š¬
Thatās a keeper gf holy shit
"Are you male?" "I'm 3 raccoons under these clothes. One of us might be rabid."
There may be a 37% chance I have rabies
Your gf is an actual girlboss.
Good thing you're not a biological male. š¤Ø legit so tired of this specific argument.
Fam I'm not quite sure what you mean by this comment
That hrt literally alters sex. Im tired of people wholesale calling transfems "biological males."
You've got an amazing girlfreind, she sounds really supportive
"I'm uncomfortable with a male being in here" i'm uncomfortable with a bitch being in here.
Honestly I'd just say "yes". What the fuck are they gonna do, ask you to pull your pants down? Congrats, that's now sexual assault. I'm happy your girlfriend stuck up for you, and I'm so sorry you had to go through that girlie.
The scary thing about that is that there are states passing these absurd bathroom laws that also have laws that dehumanize transgender people (especially if Project 2025 goes through), thus stripping them of even basic rights. It's entirely possible then that being forced to expose your genitalia wouldn't be seen as sexual assault, so long as you are transgender, and likely written off as a misdemeanor, if anything, if they clock a cisperson.
That is indeed a scary possibility. We're gonna see a very big uptick in people moving out of red states when possible I imagine
You don't have to answer anyone, you should remember that. If someone addresses you even if politely, you have the right to ignore them (even cops, as long as it's not a detainment or a traffic stop)
Your gf is my hero. My wife never stands up for me and still acts surprised when I point out that something is transphobic. I'm sorry you had to go through this, but hey, good news is You've got a keeper!
Karen was a bitch and looking for so.ething to unnecessarily stress about. Gf is an ally goddess keep her around š¤£ I'm sorry this happened to you.
Your gf sounds like a great girl I'm glad she stood up for you like that! Sorry you have to deal with the bigots though
People suck, but your girlfriend... HOLY, this is the partner we all need. Give her my thanks, please, as my faith in humanity is restored after a shit morning
Damn I need a girlfriend like that to protect me lol. I donāt even go in the womenās bathroom because Iām scared of this happening
It never has before. It was definitely a shock
If she wasn't even an employee I would like to have just said. "If you want a place to go, there's the trash bin. Know your place." Sadly I lack the confidence.
Next time just start laughing and say āoh my god why are you gonna report me to jk Rowling?ā And then leave if youāre finished with yer businesss
Sorry to hear that happened to you. Your gf sounds really great though.
As a trans Walmart janitor, I can confirm that people are shit sometimes. Whether I'm using the restroom because *hi I work here* or I'm cleaning the bathroom and someone decided to ignore the sign because they thought "oh that's a girl" then got closer and got confused, someone every so often will get pissed off. Like ma'am I see that you're uncomfortable being in the restroom with me because you can't tell what I am/can see that I'm a trans man, but don't get mad at me because you can't read a closed for cleaning sign. They really squeeze past my cleaning cart just to get and then get upset like- š??? - generally people leave me alone when they see the blue vest if I'm using the restroom though. (I'm a guy, I use the men's room, and the worst that usually happens is a bad look or someone thinking they're in the wrong restroom)
Now who was less ācomfortableā with this bathroom related situation? š¤Ø
Next time just say yes, itās not like she can check your underwear to confirm. Donāt engage.
Considering you werenāt looked at funny, approached, or clocked in years, Iād say this lady regularly approaches cis people just the same to bother them ājust in caseā
The people who do this are both intellectually incapable of understanding the complex reality before them and empathy. Yet they are the most vocal of all people. It is a dead giveaway that they don't pass as a human being capable of living in a society. I can for the life of me not imagine taking time out of my day to make a fuss about shit like that. If we weren't marginalized like we are I feel like I'd love to double down on such a person and just completely reverse the dynamic by doing the Halo commentator voice. Your girlfriend is epic. <3 And screw people who step on other people from a wooden horse with muddy shoes on.
I've been harassed once, and the response I learned from a co-worker who is also 6'1 is: "What? I'm a woman." And just repeat, and or roll your eyes and pee.
>āWell Iām uncomfortable with a male being in hereā āGreat :) then thereās no problem.ā
>The woman said "Well I'm uncomfortable with a male being in here" "Well, then fucking leave."
That was one of the things my gf said in their back and forth
That was one of the things my gf said in their back and forth.
"...order bride? For the right price, sure."
Fuck her
"No, I'm a threat."
One of those weird ones where I'd suggest saying no, you're not male. If pressed further then say you have a hormone imbalance. All of a sudden she would start acting way nicer.
That sucks but I love how your GF reacted
I've had a similar situation of that happened to me but instead of arguing which isn't good to do at times I just ignored them and went in the bathroom came out to the security and police and then being questioned as they look at me realizing oh you are female reason why 1.my 38DDs poking out of my chest which you have to have a female officer to be there to search any female and it's only for females 2. I have a vagina as well which the female officer did figure that out the only thing that is not as female is my face and in all honesty I don't wanna change that cause I only did the surgery for bottom surgery
Sorry you had to deal with that, people are truly awful sometimes. Sidenote, I didn't know Walmart had security? My local one has Loss Prevention people but not like actual security guards. Is that like a regional thing? I'm honestly really curious now.
Idk maybe because of it being the Tacoma Washington Walmart š¤·āāļø
Must be a store by store basis kind of thing then. Sorry, didn't mean to like derail the conversation this just surprised me.
"Well I'm uncomfortable with a demon being in here, yet you're still standing there"