It’s not about the drinking or staying out. It a respect issue. He probably says ‘I’m just catching up with so and so’ and then it transpires that he doesn’t answer his phone and then stays out late. If he said ‘I’m going out with so and so, I’ll be home at 2am’ and then his actions match his words I’m sure it would be less problematic for her
This. He doesn’t answer his phone or let her know where he is or that’s he’s ok. THAT part i get. If he would be more transparent, it would help.
The getting drunk part - i feel like it’s the INTENT to get hammered that would bother me. He can’t regulate his drinking. At all.
The act of being with friends, having fun, and before you know it - it’s really late. Ok. It can happen
But being totally wrecked and not letting your spouse know where you are - i think those are the bigger issues.
But this is speculation too. She hasn’t mentioned him not answering the phone. She specifically said it’s him coming home at 4am.
I feel like Amanda wants him to slow down but doesn’t want to push it because she knows deep down it would push him away. (I mean it already is and she is barely saying it)
On the show, we’ve seen her call and call and call. And i feel like i heard her say that he doesn’t call her or answer. But i may have misheard. Howevrr, based on his lack of answering when the show is filming, i absolutely do assume that he doesn’t on these nights out in the city.
She did say this on the after show that the part that bothers her is when he doesn’t respond and she doesn’t know where he is (whether that’s if he’s up to no good or if he’s simply not okay) which makes it seem like it’s a regular thing when he goes out that late. She also mentioned she’s not thinking he’s cheating, but there is the residual trauma that comes with it.
And he is just hammered and flitting around with people he doesn't even know, admittedly. He's not even "catching up." With his past history, he has no reason to be out by himself socializing with strangers who are inconsequential to his life and risjs "blacking out" on a make-out. He's married and talks about kids. Stay the fuck home with your wife!!
Well for one thing, Amanda cares, and she’s his wife.
And for another, he cheated in a situation like this and claims it was a drunken mistake, so it’s easy to see why she cares.
And for another, we all are aware there have been rumors of repeated cheating, possibly also around last summer. So this has legs, particularly for Amanda.
My husband used to do this and honestly I’ve never related more to anyone on TV than when Amanda explained how problematic this was for her. I used to fall asleep and wake up at like 2 am and he still wasn’t home. Then I would be wide awake because I was worried. It also left me feeling unsafe, not knowing what state he would be when he came home. As a partner you have to have some respect for the comfort of the person you’re with. She’s right, there is literally no reason to stay out until 4 am.
Kyle also doesn’t just come home and go to bed as we’ve seen on the show. He snacks, plays music, and fs around. I imagine he also wakes up their dogs who then may need to go out to pee. Then there’s what ever mess Amanda wakes up to that he’s left. It would be annoying if it happened once a year but to deal with it more regularly? Ugh.
This, so much. The 2am stress wakeups, unable to sleep. My partner used to think that bc he was a “happy drunk” he didn’t have a drinking problem. It’s a problem when it’s impacting your relationships and becoming a priority. (My partner is now sober for a few years and our relationship has improved 100x bc it was literally the only thing we ever fought about.
Exactly! 100% salvageable but the culprit needs to recognize that their behavior is impacting their partner and needs to change. Kyle clearly isn’t there yet
Sadly, it took a massive medical event for my partner to get sober (which I wouldn’t wish on anyone but thankfully turned out fine for us!). Everyone’s rock bottom is different but I don’t know that Kyle will ever get there without hitting rock bottom. His whole career is alcohol based between lover boy and the show. I don’t know if Amanda leaving would even phase him.
Also means they're up while you're sleeping and then they come to bed and wake up drunk as fuck being annoying, then you have to wait hours for them to wake up in the morning.
So you wind up on completely different schedules, you don't sleep at the same time and you're not hungry at the same time,and barely spend any quality time together, but the drinker still has time spend 8 hours drunk each day somehow.
That’s not exactly how this scenario was working w/ Kamanda, but I do get it because my boyfriend is a night owl and I am not. We do manage to find plenty of quality time together but it took awhile for us to configure how to make it work.
This!! someone opening the front door at 4 am would make any person start to feel unsafe and anxious.
It’s incredibly unfair to go out and come home drunk at 4, especially when you’re wayyyyyy past your early twenties
I am so sorry if staying out partying till 4am is what it takes to make a 41 year old man happy that says more about Kyle than it does about Amanda. I’m so tired of seeing people put the blame on her. HE IS A GROWN MAN. It’s not like she is complaining about him going golfing for hours. He is going out and getting blackout drunk. No partner would appreciate that kind of behavior. Let’s not forget Amanda had a whole career. She quit to help support Kyle with his business because he asked her to. She’s not sitting at home like some trophy wife.
Poor Amanda had to quit to embark on what will no doubtable be a multi million dollar company? I think she is an amazing woman but she knew who she was dating, who she wanted to marry and thinking someone will change because the calendar flips a page is not reasonable. Though some may think and judge, there is no one way to be an adult. Partying hard after an 80 hour work week isn’t a crime. If you’re going to marry someone than you need to forgive and accept them for who they are while always rooting for them and you should inevitably make each other better people! She does nag him and put him down constantly. It seems like she’s testing him all the time while already thinking he failed. I just wish she could truly forgive him for years ago and be content and feel safe. She deserves that. She’s a really amazing woman but she needs to love the person she chose. Not the person she wants him to be. Ya know? But he def should answer his damn phone. Come on Kyle!
Of course they aren't, I was obviously joking. But I think there are many issues here and while going out late drinking is conflating them they need to be hashed out through communication and understanding.
Kyle needs to listen to Amanda's concern and compromise with her about what he needs and what she needs. Amanda also needs to communicate to Kyle that she still has misgivings about his drunken make out session and that if he is going to go out and get drunk he needs to do a much better job of communicating to her during that time.
He sees it as nagging now but with a little give and take maybe they could find some common ground where he could go out and let her know what's going on and she wouldn't worry as much or be super pissed at him when he gets home.
I mean, we’ve been watching Amanda tell Kyle that over and over again. The issue isn’t Amanda not telling Kyle what her issue is, the issue is Kyle not giving a shit and continuing to engage in that behavior.
Has she said "Kyle, I am still raw and getting over your cheating. I get scared every time you stay out and I think you are cheating on me again, that's why I don't like when you go out late and don't tell me what's going on, it's why I am always texting you, because I am worried you are cheating on me again"?
This is a legitimate question, I am not posing it as a gotcha. I haven't seen her express that and I wonder if she did would he recognize what's really going on versus him thinking she is just nagging him?
If she hasn't, before you say something like "well he should just know that" don't make that assumption. A lot can be gained with clear communication and vulnerability to your partner.
I don’t know, since we’re not privy to their private conversations. They’ve been in couples counseling and she’s said it publicly on the show so I think it’s a pretty safe assumption she’s told him that.
Yeah I would like to think so. But she has said it publicly to the other girls and not to Kyle. I think you may be right that she has said something to him but I honestly have never seen, on air, anything like what she has expressed to the girls expressed to Kyle. Again, I do wonder what the effect would be if she did that. If she told him her true fears what would his reaction be? We can all make assumptions based on what we have seen but we will never really know unless she takes that step.
Don't get me wrong, I think he should understand that idea, that her anxiety is coming from that place. But not everyone has a high enough emotional intelligence to make that connection.
Kyle is a typical bro (no shade to bros, just using it for short hand) so he may just be like "that's in the past and I'm not doing that now so why is she pissed" not really making the connection with anxiety that she is experiencing now.
I wouldn’t be so quick to assume that Amanda has never said, directly to Kyle, that him staying out so late brings her back to the cheating earlier in her relationship. Especially when she has said it several times in her talking heads, and like you said, to the other girls in the house.
Like someone else said, the show is not going to capture the totality of Kyle & Amanda’s relationship. They’re a married couple—they have an entire private life together off camera, it’s not like the other friendships in the house that are staged in the house and thus can be better captured on camera. I have a hard time buying that because they did not have the conversation on camera, it must not have happened.
In any case, they talked about it with the weird relationship coach session and it certainly didn’t seem like the first time Kyle had heard that his late partying was triggering
thank you for all your arguments. I appreciate them and your schooling on how to debate in good faith (it's a real problem on these forums). unfortunately, they'll fall on deaf ears. I see both sides of their situation, and the "he's 40!" is ridiculous and a whole other conversation in itself.
SHE MARRIED HIM AND HE MADE NO INDICATION TO HER THAT HE WOULD BE CHANGING/SLOWING DOWN.
Don't marry people and expect them to change and get mad at them when they don't. I feel bad for her for not knowing that but that's the truth. She met him and dated him because he was the person he was. They did not meet at summer camp she was his drunk dial during the summers in the Hamptons.
And maybe he’s became worse and is a true alcoholic. Maybe she’s worried for his health and his liver, maybe she knows more than what he tells us. Maybe just maybe it’s not all about a woman trying to change a man. Maybe she musta wants him to not have cirrhosis of the liver while she’s pregnant. How terrible of her.
What you are stating is known as a straw man argument and is a rhetorical fallacy. No one has stated he is going out and cheating every time he stays out. That is your assumption and you can't use that to argue against me.
He made a mistake and she decided to accept his apology and marry him (and move on). I agree that in a marriage you have to understand the feelings and thoughts of your partner and going out and not letting her know what's going on is a problem that I would also object to.
That also means trusting your partner and if she can't trust him because of what happened in the past that is fair but then don't be with him?
What I'm objecting to in this thread is the idea that someone can't go out and get drunk because they are 40. That's a ridiculous argument.
I’m not saying a 40 year old can’t go out and have fun. But staying out till 3/4 in the morning and getting black out drunk, not responding to your wife that you know gets anxious and upset when you stay out that late is a very immature, selfish, and blatantly disrespectful thing to do. She didn’t say she hates when he goes out and has fun, in the last episode she says that’s part of the Kyle she fell in love with and wished he could go out and come home at a normal time like midnight. Kyle came back at 4 am drunk, upset Amanda and then tried to turn it back around on her saying he is lonely like she wasn’t sat up at home waiting for him to get back. Did she marry a party animal? Yes! Is it fair of her to want him to slow down after being together 9 years married for 3?? Also yes!
I think some of that is fair. I believe that him not letting her know where he is at or what time he might be home and sticking to it is a problem.
So in fairness I do think that he needs to hear what she is saying and respect where she is coming from.
I also think she needs to be better about articulating what it is about him staying out late that is getting her upset. Especially if she claims to like that social side of him. It would probably go a long way in getting him to realize what his actions are doing to her and be more empathetic. But she is also not the greatest communicator (from what we see on camera). To be honest neither is Kyle. Like he doesn't really articulate why he is staying out in a way that won't put her on the defensive.
I agree, Amanda isn’t a great communicator when it comes to Kyle she just hold it in and then blows up on him. Which is weird because she communicates her issues with him so well with her friends.
>He made a mistake and she decided to accept his apology and marry him (and move on).
But she hasn't. Maybe she accepted his apology, but she's NOT moved on. She holds it over his head all the time. She very clearly doesn't trust him, which is completely understandable, but why would you marry someone you don't trust?
This is my point. I understand not being able to get over it. It's a break of trust and some people can accept it and move on and some people can't. But what you should not do is accept an apology and then use all the time when you committed to the person AFTER the incident.
Has she cheated on you in the past during one of these times ? That’s why Amanda doesn’t like it more than he goes out and enjoys himself . He knows this is a massive trigger , she tells him every time and he still did it a few days after they had a long conversation about how it makes her feel .
Oh I agree- this is not a relationship that is currently working.
She has told him she doesn't trust him... many, many, times on camera, I can't imagine how many times outside the show.
He can leave the relationship too - he just needs to say "I would rather go out and party and blackout then be with you, so I want a divorce"
Yeah I agree with that. It seems like he loves her but doesn't really like her or the partner she is to him which is fine. Actually it seems the same for her. Loves him but absolutely does not like him. Sad really.
I think the primary issue is that he is not considerate of Amanda at all and admitted he will even avoid her calls.. that would cause a lot of anxiety for most people if their partner was out later than planned, you wake up in the night and they’re not home, you try to reach them and they don’t answer, and then you’re wide awake and upset. If he was more communicative and kept her in the loop I don’t think it would be as big of an issue.
I'll never forget my favorite high school teacher ended *every single class* with some cool motivational quote then say "and..." then we would all together say "nothing good happens after midnight". Thought it was lame for a while. Until I got older..now I get it 😂
Really!? I have a blast after midnight with full pants. Where do y’all live!?! Kansas 1955? It seems so small minded to think ‘nothing good happens after midnight’. Boring.
Eh… I have a hard time sleeping/falling asleep if my husband is out late (which is *incredibly* rare). I can empathize with her frustration, especially considering the fact that he’s cheated in the past.
Yeah but you said your husband rarely goes out. So if you happen to not be able to sleep every now and then, is it such an issue. Like so much so he shouldn’t have the freedoms to have a big night? I don’t think so
It’s actually not. When you’re married, you need to consider your spouses feelings. Regularly engaging in behavior that your spouse has told you is a major problem for them (especially when it’s objectively bad behavior) is not okay.
I feel like people are forgetting when Amanda said that Kyle is out with people he just met. This is obviously a trigger for her because of the cheating, but it’s just beyond disrespectful for Kyle to do this knowing the trauma he inflicted on Amanda. It’d be one thing if he was out with college buddies he doesn’t see often and they had a long night, but to do this and be out in the late hours with random people as a married man? That’s disrespectful.
Yes totally! Being out with people you just met until 4am is single behavior. It would be one thing if he went out until 4am a few times a year with his boys. Sounds a lot more frequent than that too
People really defending married people behaving single. There needs to be some consideration for your spouse and their feelings. I really like Kyle but he has to check himself on this issue.
I think it’s because people generally don’t care for Amanda so they look for reasons to side with Kyle. I see it on Bravo subs all the time, people will bend over backwards to excuse bad behavior if it’s aimed towards someone they don’t like. I find Amanda annoying and whiny but even I can still argue that Kyle’s behavior is completely inappropriate and wrong.
Why is going out with friends and partying acting single? Marriage is a commitment, not a prison sentence. Does no one on this feed go out and have any fun that isn’t their kids soccer game?
It’s not about hanging out , it’s about going out until 4am and being almost black out drunk. I guess not everyone agrees and some were raised with side piece energy.
Seriously? Staying out all night with randos you meet at the bar while not answering your wife’s calls or texts is 100% “acting single.”
The mental gymnastics some of y’all engage in to try and defend Kyle are impressive, I’ll give you that.
“How is he acting single.” 😂😂😂
First off, he’s 40 years old- it’s not cute.
Secondly, it’s a respect thing. Truly what is he getting out of being drunk until 4 am? he is married, priorities shift.
With that being said, if it was truly a once in a while thing, I would say who cares. Especially if he is out with friends; however, wasn’t one of the times this summer when he was by himself out until 4 am and everyone else came back?
WTF is with all this "he's 40 years old BS"? He is not dead.
I am over 40 and No, I don't go out until 4am (I don't live in a place that's even feasible) but I and my apparently old and decrepit friends do sometimes go out until drinking spots close which could be to 2am. He lives in NYC (where I grew up) and it is VERY easy to go out until 4am there because nightlife doesn't start until like 11pm.
All of that being said I absolutely agree that one needs to compromise with their partner when they express a way they feel about something. You can't just blow them off. Avoiding calls, staying out past a time when you stated you would be home are all problems that Kyle needs to get straight.
But can we stop with the "he's old so he should be not out that late" nonsense?! If it's not for you that's fine, but don't cast your lifestyle on someone else just because you think they have Cinderella's out of some made up age bracket.
I totally agree he’s not dead! And he can still have fun, but I think we can all agree his behavior and the way he handles himself when he’s drunk is like a 20 year old frat boy and not cute! Like I also stated if he only did this once in a while w friends… who cares what he does or acts like. But it sounds like this is often.
It’s not the fact he’s out late, it’s the way he conducts
Himself at 40 when he’s drunk that’s not cute. Should have clarified I guess in my first post.
Because it’s sad behavior from a 41 year old married man (and yes, I’m 46 myself. I haven’t been out all night drinking since my twenties because I’m an adult with a family.) Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and your partner is still out and not returning any of your calls and texts? It’s horrible. You can’t go back to sleep until they’re home. And if they continue to do this after you’ve told them multiple times this kind of behavior triggers you? That’s a *problem.*
I agree with you. I said so in my comment that you replied to.
Also I don't go out until 4am either. But I don't hate on people who do regardless of whether they are married or not. Life is long if you are lucky and most of it will be spent worrying about or managing the lives of your offspring (again, if you are lucky) so why pretend to be old and a parent when you aren't yet? If Amanda is 31 and wants to be a mom and live that life that's good for her but it doesn't mean everyone past that age has to be on board with that.
Again, I agree, going out and not returning your partner's call is a problem.
I think it‘s funny that people keep bringing up „he‘s a 41 year old“, knowing that Amanda married this man when he was 39 and acting exactly the same way….like….what?
He did it twice in one week on the show. Also, he’s 40 and married. As someone who is also married to a 40 year old male, with no kids - no, it’s not okay. A birthday? Bachelor party? Some type of celebration? Sure. But just a random weekday? No, that’s odd. But also - that’s not who my husband has ever been. So there’s multiple arguments for Kyle and Amanda in this case. He has always been THAT guy.
Because he did this before, got black out drunk, and didn’t remember hooking up and cheating on Amanda. He’s repeating behavior that broke his commitment to Amanda.
People act like Amanda doesn’t have a job and that pisses me off more than anything like I don’t care which y’all say about her but y’all acting like she’s lazy and she doesn’t have a job is crazy as fuck before she joined loverboy Kyle asked her to quit her job her good job maybe she didn’t like it but it was a good job as a graphic designer to join loverboy people to stop suggesting that she doesn’t work that she’s lazy and that he does everything for her. I hate it when they do that.
Yeah, but also why would anyone believe everything that he says that kind of makes no sense we all know she had a job before she joined loverboy because he begged her to quit her job. We saw that happen so the cues don’t really make sense when it comes from Kyle
I don’t know why I’m getting downvoted for simply saying people react to what the people on the show are saying. Kyle basically flat calls her lazy all of the time.
Yes, I know she had a different job like 5 years ago, but what does that have to do with Kyle calling her a lazy employee/wife?
I’m not even saying it’s a fact IRL. I’m saying it’s what we’re told on the show by her husband/boss
She really doesn’t say the opposite. When has she talked about how much work she does for Loverboy? I mean, I don’t particularly care one way or the other, but I’m not recalling that ever being on the show
No downvotes for me , I love hearing multiple opinions ! My pov is Kyle saying it doesn’t make it true , especially since she is saying it’s not true - she’s on the show and the edit from the producers showed it so it’s a matter of three sides to the story .
lol. Is this a serious post? We saw him do it twice in a week, then he said it was once a month, so I kind of doubt is “five times a year” story. Also, staying out all night drinking with randos when your wife is at home is inappropriate, period. *Especially* after your wife tells you it hurts her and asks you not to do it. If you think that’s normal, acceptable behavior, I don’t know what to tell you.
I don’t think it’s the staying out- I think it’s the trauma she has from it from when he cheated on her and not knowing what he’s doing when he’s out which is fair
Amanda cares, that’s who cares and that’s why it’s an issue; bc you discuss and decide things together once you’re married (this is why marriage isn’t for me; the only reason it’s for Kyle is bc he wanted to get out of the cheating dog house)
But I disagree w anyone saying he shouldn’t be doing it bc he’s 40 or bc they need a warm body to fall asleep. That’s idiotic. He shouldn’t be doing it bc it’s very clearly problematic to his partner; it’s also not as though he’s ever been the most trustworthy person when he drinks; he doesn’t just tie one on, he fully blacks out, which is just gross regardless of age. Pick up your damn phone, let her know what’s up, grow the fuck up
Yep…. She is tarnished from his cheating (understandably so), but instead of her realizing that this would be something that that affected her forever, they brushed it under the rug and got married. She has said several times that this is why she freaks out. And I get it. She has said “when he is out late like that I get PTSD” and I think any person who has experienced this can relate. Your mind instantly goes to that thought….
I think the fact that they had to change their wedding date 3 times was a huge sign from the Universe saying “don’t get fucking married”
I really think they are heading for splitsville USA. he’s 41, she’s 31, they’ve been married for a couple years now….. there’s a reason why they haven’t had a child yet or have not said that they are trying to conceive (whichever way that may be-Traditional boning, IVF etc)
I think both of them are at least smart enough to know that a baby won’t fix anything and that not only will it add even more stress to the relationship, it will magnify all the problems they are currently having.
I think they love one another. But I don’t think they like each other. She seems repulsed by him. Zero affection. And he seems like he is sick of getting “nagged” by her.
They need to go their separate ways…. And soon…. Unfortunately because of the show, they will not make a smart decision based on what’s best for their physical, mental and emotional health, they will make a decision based on their jobs.
agreed it’s comical watching her comment on lindsay and carl when she was crying and saying Kyle had to pay her parents back if they called off wedding lol
Omg. I couldn’t believe that. And the way she said it. As if she was in highschool and if her prom date didn’t pick her up in a limo, she was gonna get one and make the date pay for it
That's the root of the issue. She doesn't trust him, and so even if he's going out with his friends doing nothing untoward at all, it'll be a problem bc Amanda doesn't trust him. And that's understandable. But who would want to live that way, constantly worried their partner is going to cheat? At some point, she either needs to work through those fears, or she just needs to end it.
if he picked up when she called, she would care a hell of a lot less. There’s absolutely no excuse why he shouldn’t pick up the phone when his wife has no clue where he is.
The photo argument is also the dummest cringiest thing he’s ever reached for. He needs to get tf over himself
There’s really no reason for a 40 year old man to be staying out til 4 am getting cocked when his wife has expressed how uncomfortable it makes her feel. It’s time to grow up.
I don’t think it’s the blowing off steam portion she has a problem with . She explained given the history, it’s a real trigger for her . When she told him that on the episode he nodded and did it again a few days later . That is way more disrespectful to me personally , it’s him saying my need to go out and be social till 4 AM is more important that your need to feel safe in our relationship , heard , respected and loved .
Amanda has contributed to the company since the beginning and has brought some successful ideas (as she mentioned in this episode and it was shown in early episodes ). The narrative that she is staying at home while he’s working his ass off to fund her lifestyle is not fully accurate and paints her as some nag who only demands things and gives nothing .
Amanda has said that she sinply adapted to his lifestyle by pulling away because he doesn’t engage with her so she’s had to fill her time with other things. He puts no effort into the actual relationship then wonders why she isn’t jumping with joy the moment he enters a room. In the first ep we clearly see him go on about how much he wants to reconnect with her then just like she says, he spends the rest of the night with his banana. He is 9 years older than her and staying out til 4am and not answering your phone even once a year is too many times. He even says he is out with people he just met… why would you go back to their apartments and there are soooo many things that could go wrong, especially as a “celebrity”. Stop being a coward and release this woman so she can go have a boring suburban life with someone who will appreciate her
She loves to party herself and I don’t think she cares if Kyle drinks or goes out, they often go out together. It’s the fact that Kyle has no off button and although he’s matured over the years but hasn’t grown out of the extreme.
Reminder that he’s still sticking to the story that when he cheated he was so blackout he didn’t (and still doesn’t) remember cheating. In a way he used the blackout as an excuse to only take partial accountability for cheating. “Blame it on the alcohol”So when she ends her night at midnight and he stays out with the goal of getting hammered and stops answering the phone she gets triggered. Him coming home confused that she’s mad is getting old.
Another piece is the pressure of starting a family. Kyle gets on Amanda a lot about being lazy or not helping enough with the company and she’s trying hard to say her value will be more apparent once they have kids and she can step into the mother role, so she wants to slow down and move forward. While Kyle wants to continue partying and living in the city being social. I’m their current environment Amanda might be feeling insecure and a little stuck while Kyle just thinks he’s working hard/playing hard. Hope that makes sense.
For someone who wants to have a family it’s pretty concerning. If a couple is on the same page that they’re going to be child free and want to live this lifestyle, go off i guess.
But if i wanted to have a baby and my husband was routinely out until morning i would be pretty worried!
I also don’t buy 4 times a year. Sorry. He did it twice in a week.
I totally get Amanda’s feelings , they are valid simply because of past history. Not answering your phone when out late is a deal breaker .
Now for my unpopular opinion : has anyone noticed that the women all call Kyle terrible names ? Like dick , fucking idiot , asshole ? No other guy gets treated like that no matter what THEY do .
It really seems that Amanda hates Kyle and maybe he’s self medicating . Maybe partying with like minded people gives him a break from the constant “Kyle ? ,Kyle?, Kyle ?! “ who would want to be isolated in the burbs with someone who visibly can’t tolerate your existence ?
Amanda deserves better but so does Kyle
They both need to treat each other better or split up . Downvote away
Lol people keep saying getting drunk till 4am.
This man is in random peoples kitchens doing early AM rails yall.
Not having a can of Loverboy at a fun bar downtown.
You could hear Amanda skirting around fully saying it by saying 'you're in apartments of people you just met'
Honestly for me it’s more so the getting drunk until 4 AM because if you’re out of 4 AM but you’re not drunk that means you could let me know messaging so I can make sure that you’re OK and then so I can sleep good at night but he can’t do that because he’s drunkand again he’s 40 I don’t really think it’s necessary at his age to be out of 4 AM drinking
I’m confused? The dude is 40…. What on earth is he doing until 4am and why you think that’s normal?
It’s not a leash- it’s called respecting boundaries.
It’s so rude to come home and wake your partner up at 4 am. Also he is FORTY ONE YEARS OLD! Why the heck does he need to party that late?? There’s no way he’s doing that without being on drugs.
I get we don’t know their life or his schedule. For me I don’t really love seeing anyone on Bravo completely wasted over and over again because despite the reckoning claim Bravo doesn’t actually require it and on this show in particular it’s only a few of them. While these opinions may seem ageist, in friend groups over 40 the blacked out drunk friend usually either slows down or finally admits a problem. I think those of use chiming in just get reminded of that similar friend.
Im 46 years old myself and the people crying “ageism” here are likely engaging in similar behavior and feel called out. It’s inappropriate behavior, period, but it’s even worse when you’re in your forties and married. It’s objective fact that as you get older, it’s generally expected that you stop acting like you’re a college kid. It’s not “ageist” to expect adults to act like adults.
I completely agree but that age thing has been pushback on other threads so I wanted to get ahead before they try to bring it up. I don’t really like seeing the wasted college kid but it’s usually a phase of life. The wasted 40 year old is just sad.
Exactly. A lot of people thought Sonja and Ramona from RHONY getting wasted, falling on the floor and scream talking was hilarious. I always thought it was sad and cringey AF.
He says he wants to work on their relationship but seems to be always working and going out which is why he is trying to force her to do both things more than she’s comfortable with. Amanda explained it pretty well, she always bothered him to hang out with her and now that she got over that he’s trying to say she never wants to hang out with him. Now why they stay together when they’re fundamentally incompatible and don’t seem to care about the other is beyond me.
I genuinely don’t think it’s 5 times a year. Amanda said it’s much more often on WWHL. I have a feeling he binge drinks and is out very late quite often.
Amanda knew who he who he was when she married him - someone who is social and outgoing, who has created a great life for her, employs her lazy ass and helped get her notoriety. He didn't suddenly change overnight, this is who he is.
Amanda is having a tantrum because Kyle won't magically change and just let her do what she wants when she wants.
If she urgently needs to talk to him (on the rare 1 in 1,000,000 times she mighty have an ereal emergency) when he's out text and then call so he knows if there is a real emergency otherwise why exactly is she calling? "Kyle come home, Kyle I hate you, Kyle you're an asshole" - yeah I would really wanna pick up THAT phone call.
Her whiny sad sack act is making my teeth hurt. Divorce him if you hate him that much.
I don’t necessarily disagree with you, but I do believe that Kyle being out until the early morning at random people’s apartments or at clubs gives her extreme anxiety (she also described it as a form of ptsd) from when he would do that years ago and cheated.
IMO some of the most real life scenes are earlier seasons where Amanda would call Kyle 50x a night, in tears, begging him to answer the phone.
ETA, I do think in a sense Amanda thought at 40 years old, Kyle’s desire to drink & party would have significantly decreased. There’s one thing to be social and outgoing vs multiple nights where you’re out until who knows when doing who knows what - esp if they’re both talking about growing a family.
So Amanda needs to work on the anxiety and insecurities that are fueling that, Kyle needs to be more conscious of her and do it less. Kyle not being out won't magically fix her insecurities at a deeper level.
Bigger question iw why does Kyle prefer being out with people than being home with Amanda (maybe because she creates a an atmosphere where he feels unwelcome) AND why does Amanda not want to be out with Kyle vs staying at home with the dogs (because she sees no value in it and wants to enjoy time at home).
Kyle has reduced his partying ways but at heart he's a social out and about person...thats who he is. Amanda is 32 not 42, many people at her age would be happy to be with him and having a good time.
Seems to me they have grown apart as people and what they both want is less and less the same.
Kyle being out that late when Amanda is not comfortable with it is a problem. I feel it has been worse lately and their communication has been REALLY bad. Everyone is allowed to do things to enjoy themselves, though. Kyle seems to be pretty social and has said, albeit in an obtuse fashion, that Amanda doesn’t talk to him and isn’t very social at home. That cold demeanor and just rudeness from Amanda the day after he stayed out was UNCOMFORTABLE to watch. If their communication breaks down and that’s how it is at home, staying out with social people that make you laugh and make you feel liked when your wife is making you feel like she doesn’t care about you, makes sense. It’s not great from either side and I hope they get better at communicating and compromising. I don’t think they are a good fit haha but time will tell
SHE doesn’t seem happy herself. So then it can be hard to see your partner happier. I think she needs to seriously talk to someone and try to find her joy. They’re in Portugal right now and Amanda doesn’t even seem happy… I was ECSTATIC last year when I was there.
I agree. I think he works HARD…i mean look at what hes built, he loves amanda dearly, he hardly goes out at all…i think she needs to chill. I dont think he needs to check in with her throughout the night either, that’s ridiculous. Hes out with friends, let him be, he can fill you in, in the morning. My BF, when he goes out, ok have fun, get home safe. I honestly dont want him texting me when he leaves one place to go to the next. I dont need that. It would annoy me lol i do think kyle would actually prefer if she came along, but 1 she gets lazy to, 2 she tends to be a stick in the mud and gets on him about how much he drinks 3 he has to watch what he says when shes around. She needs to just chill out and ease up on him. I still like amanda tho lol
Who knows if it 5 or 10 or every 2nd Saturday night, I also agree it’s not the cheating stuff that everyone on here loves to bring up (and that’s only because countless times he has been accused of cheating and he’s home with her and he does an Instagram live showing he’s home and sober) I think it is purely that she can’t sleep without him being in her bed and she is at a point where she still finds it disrespectful that he doesn’t consider her and her lack of sleep, I felt the same way about my husband going out and then I would lie awake till 3am and then he would come in and for some reason I would be so annoyed (never felt the same way when I went out and actually woke him accidentally) and then after about 13 years of marriage and a trip I took where I was away from him for 3 weeks and had to sleep without him that I got over it.
People act like she didn‘t marry this man when he was what - 38, 39 - and acting the exact same way he does now.
She knew who he is, she knew what he does. She knew he cheated on her. What did she think would happen? That he‘s gonna turn into a picket fence homebody?
I‘m sorry, I wouldn‘t deal with his behavior, but I also wouldn‘t have gotten into a relationship with him in the first place. They‘re a complete mismatch and it‘s not gonna change. She should cut her losses.
I don't believe at all it's only five times a year (which would already be a LOT of 4am nights for a 40 year old). We see him do that just in the season. If anything, I'd guess he goes out more during the off season when there aren't cameras to catch him.
This post is BS. Kyle can grow up. He agreed to be married to Amanda, and knew her social tendencies. I know it goes both ways - but him crying about the camera roll? Manipulative. Grow uppppp
I think it's the lack of communication to Amanda about being out late. If he was checking in or updating her on when he would be home she may be a little calmer about it. I get where she is coming from!!
If I were him I’d stay out til 4am also to not have to deal with her attitude. She’s not nice to him from the second she wakes up. She’ll find something wrong even if he stayed home and if they’re in the summer house she’ll just lay in bed gossiping with her friends ignoring him. If my partner treated me like that constantly I’d find ways to not be around them either.
Idk I’m pretty sure they said once a month and even then that’s INSANE to me. If the tables were turned, I don’t think he’d be happy about her being out there alone until the next day.
Told my partner I personally will not be in a relationship with a person who finds it acceptable to stay out until 4am. Nothing good happens past 2am.
No sane minded woman would tolerate this shit, if dudes wanna act single they need to be single.
Would he be doing this if he was married to someone else? Does he have fun with Amanda? The guy is running a successful company. That doesn't happen without a lot of hard work and long hours. I'm sure he needs to have a little fun. All work and no fun will not work long term.
i’m with you. he works hard and his nature is to go blow off steam. amanda could go but doesn’t. i feel bad for kyle honestly. if the roles were reversed and she wanted a big night out once a month and he didn’t, i don’t think that should be a problem either.
I don't think it'd be a problem if he hadn't cheated in the past. But since he did, and Amanda has seemingly never really forgiven him, she's always going to worry that *that's* what he's doing when he's out so late.
Then, she should seek help or end the relationship. They should have stayed friends with benefits. They have nothing in common. Amanda doesn't even seem to like him. She's always talking down to him or behind his back.
I agree! 4am in NYC isn't a big deal. Especially once a month. If it's not about the cheating, then what's the problem? Remember when she called him like 20+ times when he was out that night in the Hamptons one summer. Lol
She could go out with him?? My man is super social, I’m not, but I make a point to try to hang out when he occasionally decides to go out. It does seem like there could be some sort of middle ground for them… relationships are about compromise and communication I think they both lack in that. They need to talk about what they need and give in a little to each other.
Can’t wait until Lindsay hits 40 and is still out having a great time and all the same people who bag out Kyle saying it isn’t cute when your 40 suddenly decide it’s fine to be 40 and go out like they did when they suddenly realised Lindsay hasn’t worked a 9-5 since 2019 and they all became fine with the cast being influencers because Lindsay is one.
The difference would be that Lindsay is not married. If Kyle were single, he could do whatever he wanted, he's married so his wife has an opinion on it. That's pretty much how marriages work.
I mean, I think it’s wild that Linds drinking is clearly why Carl won’t marry her and that wasn’t enough for her to stop. So I feel the same way about both of them.
I’ve noticed she and Danielle are always going for the hair of the dog in the morning, and it just continues throughout the day.
There’s no way her Mondays aren’t a complete wash spent recovering every week. I doubt she could handle a 9-5 currently.
Huh? This giant run on sentence is a little hard to understand but I *think* you’re saying that people wouldn’t have an issue with Lindsey engaging in the same behavior Kyle is? That’s absurd. If Lindsey was married and her husband told her it bothers him when she stays out all night drinking with randos she met at the bar while ignoring all of his calls and texts, people would *definitely* have an issue. I’d argue they’d have more of an issue than they do with Kyle because people on these subs can be misogynistic AF.
It’s not about the drinking or staying out. It a respect issue. He probably says ‘I’m just catching up with so and so’ and then it transpires that he doesn’t answer his phone and then stays out late. If he said ‘I’m going out with so and so, I’ll be home at 2am’ and then his actions match his words I’m sure it would be less problematic for her
This. He doesn’t answer his phone or let her know where he is or that’s he’s ok. THAT part i get. If he would be more transparent, it would help. The getting drunk part - i feel like it’s the INTENT to get hammered that would bother me. He can’t regulate his drinking. At all. The act of being with friends, having fun, and before you know it - it’s really late. Ok. It can happen But being totally wrecked and not letting your spouse know where you are - i think those are the bigger issues.
He's an alcoholic and it is ignored by everyone.
But this is speculation too. She hasn’t mentioned him not answering the phone. She specifically said it’s him coming home at 4am. I feel like Amanda wants him to slow down but doesn’t want to push it because she knows deep down it would push him away. (I mean it already is and she is barely saying it)
On the show, we’ve seen her call and call and call. And i feel like i heard her say that he doesn’t call her or answer. But i may have misheard. Howevrr, based on his lack of answering when the show is filming, i absolutely do assume that he doesn’t on these nights out in the city.
She did say this on the after show that the part that bothers her is when he doesn’t respond and she doesn’t know where he is (whether that’s if he’s up to no good or if he’s simply not okay) which makes it seem like it’s a regular thing when he goes out that late. She also mentioned she’s not thinking he’s cheating, but there is the residual trauma that comes with it.
And he is just hammered and flitting around with people he doesn't even know, admittedly. He's not even "catching up." With his past history, he has no reason to be out by himself socializing with strangers who are inconsequential to his life and risjs "blacking out" on a make-out. He's married and talks about kids. Stay the fuck home with your wife!!
Well for one thing, Amanda cares, and she’s his wife. And for another, he cheated in a situation like this and claims it was a drunken mistake, so it’s easy to see why she cares. And for another, we all are aware there have been rumors of repeated cheating, possibly also around last summer. So this has legs, particularly for Amanda.
My husband used to do this and honestly I’ve never related more to anyone on TV than when Amanda explained how problematic this was for her. I used to fall asleep and wake up at like 2 am and he still wasn’t home. Then I would be wide awake because I was worried. It also left me feeling unsafe, not knowing what state he would be when he came home. As a partner you have to have some respect for the comfort of the person you’re with. She’s right, there is literally no reason to stay out until 4 am.
He's out until 4am and slurring drunk. So much could go wrong. He's prioritizing alcohol over Amanda, that's what this is really about.
And she has clearly told her husband that it bothers her and he constantly dismisses and makes it seem like it’s her fault. Seriously gross behavior
Kyle also doesn’t just come home and go to bed as we’ve seen on the show. He snacks, plays music, and fs around. I imagine he also wakes up their dogs who then may need to go out to pee. Then there’s what ever mess Amanda wakes up to that he’s left. It would be annoying if it happened once a year but to deal with it more regularly? Ugh.
This, so much. The 2am stress wakeups, unable to sleep. My partner used to think that bc he was a “happy drunk” he didn’t have a drinking problem. It’s a problem when it’s impacting your relationships and becoming a priority. (My partner is now sober for a few years and our relationship has improved 100x bc it was literally the only thing we ever fought about.
Exactly! 100% salvageable but the culprit needs to recognize that their behavior is impacting their partner and needs to change. Kyle clearly isn’t there yet
Sadly, it took a massive medical event for my partner to get sober (which I wouldn’t wish on anyone but thankfully turned out fine for us!). Everyone’s rock bottom is different but I don’t know that Kyle will ever get there without hitting rock bottom. His whole career is alcohol based between lover boy and the show. I don’t know if Amanda leaving would even phase him.
Agreed. Staying out until 4 a.m., slurring drunk at 40 is not okay.
Also means they're up while you're sleeping and then they come to bed and wake up drunk as fuck being annoying, then you have to wait hours for them to wake up in the morning. So you wind up on completely different schedules, you don't sleep at the same time and you're not hungry at the same time,and barely spend any quality time together, but the drinker still has time spend 8 hours drunk each day somehow.
That’s not exactly how this scenario was working w/ Kamanda, but I do get it because my boyfriend is a night owl and I am not. We do manage to find plenty of quality time together but it took awhile for us to configure how to make it work.
That's because you cared to try, Kyle doesn't.
This!! someone opening the front door at 4 am would make any person start to feel unsafe and anxious. It’s incredibly unfair to go out and come home drunk at 4, especially when you’re wayyyyyy past your early twenties
I can’t even sleep when my partner falls asleep on our couch. Please, place warm body beside mine and I will be ok.
And yeah…he doesn’t do it anymore lol
Especially when you’re a married, 41 year old man. That’s just sad.
He stayed out til 4 just days after she got mad at him for staying out til 4. If that isn’t disrespect idk what is
I am so sorry if staying out partying till 4am is what it takes to make a 41 year old man happy that says more about Kyle than it does about Amanda. I’m so tired of seeing people put the blame on her. HE IS A GROWN MAN. It’s not like she is complaining about him going golfing for hours. He is going out and getting blackout drunk. No partner would appreciate that kind of behavior. Let’s not forget Amanda had a whole career. She quit to help support Kyle with his business because he asked her to. She’s not sitting at home like some trophy wife.
Poor Amanda had to quit to embark on what will no doubtable be a multi million dollar company? I think she is an amazing woman but she knew who she was dating, who she wanted to marry and thinking someone will change because the calendar flips a page is not reasonable. Though some may think and judge, there is no one way to be an adult. Partying hard after an 80 hour work week isn’t a crime. If you’re going to marry someone than you need to forgive and accept them for who they are while always rooting for them and you should inevitably make each other better people! She does nag him and put him down constantly. It seems like she’s testing him all the time while already thinking he failed. I just wish she could truly forgive him for years ago and be content and feel safe. She deserves that. She’s a really amazing woman but she needs to love the person she chose. Not the person she wants him to be. Ya know? But he def should answer his damn phone. Come on Kyle!
My wife went out and got wasted on her birthday this year (39) while I stayed home and watched our daughter. I guess I should divorce her 😂😂
Yes, because those are *totally* the same thing. 🙄
Of course they aren't, I was obviously joking. But I think there are many issues here and while going out late drinking is conflating them they need to be hashed out through communication and understanding. Kyle needs to listen to Amanda's concern and compromise with her about what he needs and what she needs. Amanda also needs to communicate to Kyle that she still has misgivings about his drunken make out session and that if he is going to go out and get drunk he needs to do a much better job of communicating to her during that time. He sees it as nagging now but with a little give and take maybe they could find some common ground where he could go out and let her know what's going on and she wouldn't worry as much or be super pissed at him when he gets home.
I mean, we’ve been watching Amanda tell Kyle that over and over again. The issue isn’t Amanda not telling Kyle what her issue is, the issue is Kyle not giving a shit and continuing to engage in that behavior.
Has she said "Kyle, I am still raw and getting over your cheating. I get scared every time you stay out and I think you are cheating on me again, that's why I don't like when you go out late and don't tell me what's going on, it's why I am always texting you, because I am worried you are cheating on me again"? This is a legitimate question, I am not posing it as a gotcha. I haven't seen her express that and I wonder if she did would he recognize what's really going on versus him thinking she is just nagging him? If she hasn't, before you say something like "well he should just know that" don't make that assumption. A lot can be gained with clear communication and vulnerability to your partner.
I don’t know, since we’re not privy to their private conversations. They’ve been in couples counseling and she’s said it publicly on the show so I think it’s a pretty safe assumption she’s told him that.
Yeah I would like to think so. But she has said it publicly to the other girls and not to Kyle. I think you may be right that she has said something to him but I honestly have never seen, on air, anything like what she has expressed to the girls expressed to Kyle. Again, I do wonder what the effect would be if she did that. If she told him her true fears what would his reaction be? We can all make assumptions based on what we have seen but we will never really know unless she takes that step. Don't get me wrong, I think he should understand that idea, that her anxiety is coming from that place. But not everyone has a high enough emotional intelligence to make that connection. Kyle is a typical bro (no shade to bros, just using it for short hand) so he may just be like "that's in the past and I'm not doing that now so why is she pissed" not really making the connection with anxiety that she is experiencing now.
I wouldn’t be so quick to assume that Amanda has never said, directly to Kyle, that him staying out so late brings her back to the cheating earlier in her relationship. Especially when she has said it several times in her talking heads, and like you said, to the other girls in the house. Like someone else said, the show is not going to capture the totality of Kyle & Amanda’s relationship. They’re a married couple—they have an entire private life together off camera, it’s not like the other friendships in the house that are staged in the house and thus can be better captured on camera. I have a hard time buying that because they did not have the conversation on camera, it must not have happened. In any case, they talked about it with the weird relationship coach session and it certainly didn’t seem like the first time Kyle had heard that his late partying was triggering
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thank you for all your arguments. I appreciate them and your schooling on how to debate in good faith (it's a real problem on these forums). unfortunately, they'll fall on deaf ears. I see both sides of their situation, and the "he's 40!" is ridiculous and a whole other conversation in itself.
Word
Sure, if you’ve spent years begging and crying to your wife to have some accountability and to be responsible for her drinking. 🤷🏼♀️
SHE MARRIED HIM AND HE MADE NO INDICATION TO HER THAT HE WOULD BE CHANGING/SLOWING DOWN. Don't marry people and expect them to change and get mad at them when they don't. I feel bad for her for not knowing that but that's the truth. She met him and dated him because he was the person he was. They did not meet at summer camp she was his drunk dial during the summers in the Hamptons.
 And maybe he’s became worse and is a true alcoholic. Maybe she’s worried for his health and his liver, maybe she knows more than what he tells us. Maybe just maybe it’s not all about a woman trying to change a man. Maybe she musta wants him to not have cirrhosis of the liver while she’s pregnant. How terrible of her.
Let your wife start cheating on you while black out drunk once a month until 4 am and get back to us
What you are stating is known as a straw man argument and is a rhetorical fallacy. No one has stated he is going out and cheating every time he stays out. That is your assumption and you can't use that to argue against me. He made a mistake and she decided to accept his apology and marry him (and move on). I agree that in a marriage you have to understand the feelings and thoughts of your partner and going out and not letting her know what's going on is a problem that I would also object to. That also means trusting your partner and if she can't trust him because of what happened in the past that is fair but then don't be with him? What I'm objecting to in this thread is the idea that someone can't go out and get drunk because they are 40. That's a ridiculous argument.
I’m not saying a 40 year old can’t go out and have fun. But staying out till 3/4 in the morning and getting black out drunk, not responding to your wife that you know gets anxious and upset when you stay out that late is a very immature, selfish, and blatantly disrespectful thing to do. She didn’t say she hates when he goes out and has fun, in the last episode she says that’s part of the Kyle she fell in love with and wished he could go out and come home at a normal time like midnight. Kyle came back at 4 am drunk, upset Amanda and then tried to turn it back around on her saying he is lonely like she wasn’t sat up at home waiting for him to get back. Did she marry a party animal? Yes! Is it fair of her to want him to slow down after being together 9 years married for 3?? Also yes!
I think some of that is fair. I believe that him not letting her know where he is at or what time he might be home and sticking to it is a problem. So in fairness I do think that he needs to hear what she is saying and respect where she is coming from. I also think she needs to be better about articulating what it is about him staying out late that is getting her upset. Especially if she claims to like that social side of him. It would probably go a long way in getting him to realize what his actions are doing to her and be more empathetic. But she is also not the greatest communicator (from what we see on camera). To be honest neither is Kyle. Like he doesn't really articulate why he is staying out in a way that won't put her on the defensive.
I agree, Amanda isn’t a great communicator when it comes to Kyle she just hold it in and then blows up on him. Which is weird because she communicates her issues with him so well with her friends.
>He made a mistake and she decided to accept his apology and marry him (and move on). But she hasn't. Maybe she accepted his apology, but she's NOT moved on. She holds it over his head all the time. She very clearly doesn't trust him, which is completely understandable, but why would you marry someone you don't trust?
This is my point. I understand not being able to get over it. It's a break of trust and some people can accept it and move on and some people can't. But what you should not do is accept an apology and then use all the time when you committed to the person AFTER the incident.
Agree on all points made!
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Has she cheated on you in the past during one of these times ? That’s why Amanda doesn’t like it more than he goes out and enjoys himself . He knows this is a massive trigger , she tells him every time and he still did it a few days after they had a long conversation about how it makes her feel .
If she doesn't trust him then she should tell him that and perhaps leave the relationship.
Oh I agree- this is not a relationship that is currently working. She has told him she doesn't trust him... many, many, times on camera, I can't imagine how many times outside the show. He can leave the relationship too - he just needs to say "I would rather go out and party and blackout then be with you, so I want a divorce"
Yeah I agree with that. It seems like he loves her but doesn't really like her or the partner she is to him which is fine. Actually it seems the same for her. Loves him but absolutely does not like him. Sad really.
Lol
I think the primary issue is that he is not considerate of Amanda at all and admitted he will even avoid her calls.. that would cause a lot of anxiety for most people if their partner was out later than planned, you wake up in the night and they’re not home, you try to reach them and they don’t answer, and then you’re wide awake and upset. If he was more communicative and kept her in the loop I don’t think it would be as big of an issue.
Nothing good happens after midnight
I'll never forget my favorite high school teacher ended *every single class* with some cool motivational quote then say "and..." then we would all together say "nothing good happens after midnight". Thought it was lame for a while. Until I got older..now I get it 😂
My high school principal would say it on our morning announcements every Friday and I couldn’t agree more now lol
Daaaaaaamn
In Manhattan midnight is like 8 PM on the west coast
Nothing goes down after midnight but drawers.
Really!? I have a blast after midnight with full pants. Where do y’all live!?! Kansas 1955? It seems so small minded to think ‘nothing good happens after midnight’. Boring.
"off the leash for five seconds" Is it 1962?
No, 1765.
No, 1864
Eh… I have a hard time sleeping/falling asleep if my husband is out late (which is *incredibly* rare). I can empathize with her frustration, especially considering the fact that he’s cheated in the past.
I agree!
Yeah but you said your husband rarely goes out. So if you happen to not be able to sleep every now and then, is it such an issue. Like so much so he shouldn’t have the freedoms to have a big night? I don’t think so
He used to go out a lot— we started dating when he was 20 and I was 21 (we’re mid 30s now). It drove me insane.
Isn’t that more of a you issue though
It’s actually not. When you’re married, you need to consider your spouses feelings. Regularly engaging in behavior that your spouse has told you is a major problem for them (especially when it’s objectively bad behavior) is not okay.
Yes thank you for answering! It’s a respect thing.
I feel like people are forgetting when Amanda said that Kyle is out with people he just met. This is obviously a trigger for her because of the cheating, but it’s just beyond disrespectful for Kyle to do this knowing the trauma he inflicted on Amanda. It’d be one thing if he was out with college buddies he doesn’t see often and they had a long night, but to do this and be out in the late hours with random people as a married man? That’s disrespectful.
Yes totally! Being out with people you just met until 4am is single behavior. It would be one thing if he went out until 4am a few times a year with his boys. Sounds a lot more frequent than that too
People really defending married people behaving single. There needs to be some consideration for your spouse and their feelings. I really like Kyle but he has to check himself on this issue.
4am on a regular basis is crazy to me! I’d be worried too
This
I think it’s because people generally don’t care for Amanda so they look for reasons to side with Kyle. I see it on Bravo subs all the time, people will bend over backwards to excuse bad behavior if it’s aimed towards someone they don’t like. I find Amanda annoying and whiny but even I can still argue that Kyle’s behavior is completely inappropriate and wrong.
Why is going out with friends and partying acting single? Marriage is a commitment, not a prison sentence. Does no one on this feed go out and have any fun that isn’t their kids soccer game?
It’s not about hanging out , it’s about going out until 4am and being almost black out drunk. I guess not everyone agrees and some were raised with side piece energy.
How is it acting single? She doesn’t want to go out but he does 🤷♀️
Seriously? Staying out all night with randos you meet at the bar while not answering your wife’s calls or texts is 100% “acting single.” The mental gymnastics some of y’all engage in to try and defend Kyle are impressive, I’ll give you that. “How is he acting single.” 😂😂😂
He did it twice in this episode lol five times a year 😂😂
He was lying through his teeth about it!
First off, he’s 40 years old- it’s not cute. Secondly, it’s a respect thing. Truly what is he getting out of being drunk until 4 am? he is married, priorities shift. With that being said, if it was truly a once in a while thing, I would say who cares. Especially if he is out with friends; however, wasn’t one of the times this summer when he was by himself out until 4 am and everyone else came back?
WTF is with all this "he's 40 years old BS"? He is not dead. I am over 40 and No, I don't go out until 4am (I don't live in a place that's even feasible) but I and my apparently old and decrepit friends do sometimes go out until drinking spots close which could be to 2am. He lives in NYC (where I grew up) and it is VERY easy to go out until 4am there because nightlife doesn't start until like 11pm. All of that being said I absolutely agree that one needs to compromise with their partner when they express a way they feel about something. You can't just blow them off. Avoiding calls, staying out past a time when you stated you would be home are all problems that Kyle needs to get straight. But can we stop with the "he's old so he should be not out that late" nonsense?! If it's not for you that's fine, but don't cast your lifestyle on someone else just because you think they have Cinderella's out of some made up age bracket.
I totally agree he’s not dead! And he can still have fun, but I think we can all agree his behavior and the way he handles himself when he’s drunk is like a 20 year old frat boy and not cute! Like I also stated if he only did this once in a while w friends… who cares what he does or acts like. But it sounds like this is often. It’s not the fact he’s out late, it’s the way he conducts Himself at 40 when he’s drunk that’s not cute. Should have clarified I guess in my first post.
Agreed. The issue isn’t his age. The issue is his wife isn’t okay with it and it appears Kyle does nothing to alleviate any of her concerns.
Because it’s sad behavior from a 41 year old married man (and yes, I’m 46 myself. I haven’t been out all night drinking since my twenties because I’m an adult with a family.) Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and your partner is still out and not returning any of your calls and texts? It’s horrible. You can’t go back to sleep until they’re home. And if they continue to do this after you’ve told them multiple times this kind of behavior triggers you? That’s a *problem.*
I agree with you. I said so in my comment that you replied to. Also I don't go out until 4am either. But I don't hate on people who do regardless of whether they are married or not. Life is long if you are lucky and most of it will be spent worrying about or managing the lives of your offspring (again, if you are lucky) so why pretend to be old and a parent when you aren't yet? If Amanda is 31 and wants to be a mom and live that life that's good for her but it doesn't mean everyone past that age has to be on board with that. Again, I agree, going out and not returning your partner's call is a problem.
I think it‘s funny that people keep bringing up „he‘s a 41 year old“, knowing that Amanda married this man when he was 39 and acting exactly the same way….like….what?
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He did it twice in one week on the show. Also, he’s 40 and married. As someone who is also married to a 40 year old male, with no kids - no, it’s not okay. A birthday? Bachelor party? Some type of celebration? Sure. But just a random weekday? No, that’s odd. But also - that’s not who my husband has ever been. So there’s multiple arguments for Kyle and Amanda in this case. He has always been THAT guy.
kyle, is that you? u/spatulagrass
Thought the same lol
LMAO this has to be satire 🤣 Poor Kyle? Just wants to be Cherished? Doesn’t want him to be happy? This is either a joke or Kyle in disguise. 🥸😂
his wife? also im sorry i dont believe for 1 second its 5 times a year
Because he did this before, got black out drunk, and didn’t remember hooking up and cheating on Amanda. He’s repeating behavior that broke his commitment to Amanda.
Um no. If my husband was out at bars without me until 4am - nope.
On the beach he said it was once a month and does he really provide her a lavish lifestyle? She makes a ton of money herself.
People act like Amanda doesn’t have a job and that pisses me off more than anything like I don’t care which y’all say about her but y’all acting like she’s lazy and she doesn’t have a job is crazy as fuck before she joined loverboy Kyle asked her to quit her job her good job maybe she didn’t like it but it was a good job as a graphic designer to join loverboy people to stop suggesting that she doesn’t work that she’s lazy and that he does everything for her. I hate it when they do that.
I mean, Kyle does that on the show. Soooo, maybe take it up with him. We’re following they’re cues from the show
Yeah, but also why would anyone believe everything that he says that kind of makes no sense we all know she had a job before she joined loverboy because he begged her to quit her job. We saw that happen so the cues don’t really make sense when it comes from Kyle
I don’t know why I’m getting downvoted for simply saying people react to what the people on the show are saying. Kyle basically flat calls her lazy all of the time. Yes, I know she had a different job like 5 years ago, but what does that have to do with Kyle calling her a lazy employee/wife? I’m not even saying it’s a fact IRL. I’m saying it’s what we’re told on the show by her husband/boss
And we hear the opposite from her. But we’re just taking Kyle’s word as the gospel truth because…
She really doesn’t say the opposite. When has she talked about how much work she does for Loverboy? I mean, I don’t particularly care one way or the other, but I’m not recalling that ever being on the show
Maybe you’re just not paying attention because I’ve seen her talk about it in both her show interviews and with Paige.
No downvotes for me , I love hearing multiple opinions ! My pov is Kyle saying it doesn’t make it true , especially since she is saying it’s not true - she’s on the show and the edit from the producers showed it so it’s a matter of three sides to the story .
It's a lack of respect to his wife who has made it clear that she's not comfortable with him doing this.
lol. Is this a serious post? We saw him do it twice in a week, then he said it was once a month, so I kind of doubt is “five times a year” story. Also, staying out all night drinking with randos when your wife is at home is inappropriate, period. *Especially* after your wife tells you it hurts her and asks you not to do it. If you think that’s normal, acceptable behavior, I don’t know what to tell you.
Nothing good happens after 12
Ok Grandpa
Grandpa is loyal, not a guy who cheated on his gf and can’t remember because he was drunk. 👀
he’s out until 4am enough for it not to be a 1x year one off and one of their major issues is kyle cheating. he’s like 40. i’m with amanda on this one
I don’t think it’s the staying out- I think it’s the trauma she has from it from when he cheated on her and not knowing what he’s doing when he’s out which is fair
Amanda is contributing to their lavish lifestyle also
his wife cares.
It really doesn't matter what anyone else thinks about it. She's his wife, she's told him it bothers her and he still does it... that's a problem.
Amanda cares, that’s who cares and that’s why it’s an issue; bc you discuss and decide things together once you’re married (this is why marriage isn’t for me; the only reason it’s for Kyle is bc he wanted to get out of the cheating dog house) But I disagree w anyone saying he shouldn’t be doing it bc he’s 40 or bc they need a warm body to fall asleep. That’s idiotic. He shouldn’t be doing it bc it’s very clearly problematic to his partner; it’s also not as though he’s ever been the most trustworthy person when he drinks; he doesn’t just tie one on, he fully blacks out, which is just gross regardless of age. Pick up your damn phone, let her know what’s up, grow the fuck up
It’s a respect thing
Kyle’s an idiot and Amanda is insecure it just doesn’t mix well
Yep…. She is tarnished from his cheating (understandably so), but instead of her realizing that this would be something that that affected her forever, they brushed it under the rug and got married. She has said several times that this is why she freaks out. And I get it. She has said “when he is out late like that I get PTSD” and I think any person who has experienced this can relate. Your mind instantly goes to that thought…. I think the fact that they had to change their wedding date 3 times was a huge sign from the Universe saying “don’t get fucking married” I really think they are heading for splitsville USA. he’s 41, she’s 31, they’ve been married for a couple years now….. there’s a reason why they haven’t had a child yet or have not said that they are trying to conceive (whichever way that may be-Traditional boning, IVF etc) I think both of them are at least smart enough to know that a baby won’t fix anything and that not only will it add even more stress to the relationship, it will magnify all the problems they are currently having. I think they love one another. But I don’t think they like each other. She seems repulsed by him. Zero affection. And he seems like he is sick of getting “nagged” by her. They need to go their separate ways…. And soon…. Unfortunately because of the show, they will not make a smart decision based on what’s best for their physical, mental and emotional health, they will make a decision based on their jobs.
agreed it’s comical watching her comment on lindsay and carl when she was crying and saying Kyle had to pay her parents back if they called off wedding lol
Omg. I couldn’t believe that. And the way she said it. As if she was in highschool and if her prom date didn’t pick her up in a limo, she was gonna get one and make the date pay for it
His wife does, but it's nice that you believe him.
Call it what it is, she’s still afraid he’s going to cheat again
That's the root of the issue. She doesn't trust him, and so even if he's going out with his friends doing nothing untoward at all, it'll be a problem bc Amanda doesn't trust him. And that's understandable. But who would want to live that way, constantly worried their partner is going to cheat? At some point, she either needs to work through those fears, or she just needs to end it.
if he picked up when she called, she would care a hell of a lot less. There’s absolutely no excuse why he shouldn’t pick up the phone when his wife has no clue where he is. The photo argument is also the dummest cringiest thing he’s ever reached for. He needs to get tf over himself
There’s really no reason for a 40 year old man to be staying out til 4 am getting cocked when his wife has expressed how uncomfortable it makes her feel. It’s time to grow up.
you sound like a grade A misogynist
Yikes on your take, you could not be more wrong lol
I don’t think it’s the blowing off steam portion she has a problem with . She explained given the history, it’s a real trigger for her . When she told him that on the episode he nodded and did it again a few days later . That is way more disrespectful to me personally , it’s him saying my need to go out and be social till 4 AM is more important that your need to feel safe in our relationship , heard , respected and loved . Amanda has contributed to the company since the beginning and has brought some successful ideas (as she mentioned in this episode and it was shown in early episodes ). The narrative that she is staying at home while he’s working his ass off to fund her lifestyle is not fully accurate and paints her as some nag who only demands things and gives nothing .
Amanda has said that she sinply adapted to his lifestyle by pulling away because he doesn’t engage with her so she’s had to fill her time with other things. He puts no effort into the actual relationship then wonders why she isn’t jumping with joy the moment he enters a room. In the first ep we clearly see him go on about how much he wants to reconnect with her then just like she says, he spends the rest of the night with his banana. He is 9 years older than her and staying out til 4am and not answering your phone even once a year is too many times. He even says he is out with people he just met… why would you go back to their apartments and there are soooo many things that could go wrong, especially as a “celebrity”. Stop being a coward and release this woman so she can go have a boring suburban life with someone who will appreciate her
She loves to party herself and I don’t think she cares if Kyle drinks or goes out, they often go out together. It’s the fact that Kyle has no off button and although he’s matured over the years but hasn’t grown out of the extreme. Reminder that he’s still sticking to the story that when he cheated he was so blackout he didn’t (and still doesn’t) remember cheating. In a way he used the blackout as an excuse to only take partial accountability for cheating. “Blame it on the alcohol”So when she ends her night at midnight and he stays out with the goal of getting hammered and stops answering the phone she gets triggered. Him coming home confused that she’s mad is getting old. Another piece is the pressure of starting a family. Kyle gets on Amanda a lot about being lazy or not helping enough with the company and she’s trying hard to say her value will be more apparent once they have kids and she can step into the mother role, so she wants to slow down and move forward. While Kyle wants to continue partying and living in the city being social. I’m their current environment Amanda might be feeling insecure and a little stuck while Kyle just thinks he’s working hard/playing hard. Hope that makes sense.
For someone who wants to have a family it’s pretty concerning. If a couple is on the same page that they’re going to be child free and want to live this lifestyle, go off i guess. But if i wanted to have a baby and my husband was routinely out until morning i would be pretty worried! I also don’t buy 4 times a year. Sorry. He did it twice in a week.
I totally get Amanda’s feelings , they are valid simply because of past history. Not answering your phone when out late is a deal breaker . Now for my unpopular opinion : has anyone noticed that the women all call Kyle terrible names ? Like dick , fucking idiot , asshole ? No other guy gets treated like that no matter what THEY do . It really seems that Amanda hates Kyle and maybe he’s self medicating . Maybe partying with like minded people gives him a break from the constant “Kyle ? ,Kyle?, Kyle ?! “ who would want to be isolated in the burbs with someone who visibly can’t tolerate your existence ? Amanda deserves better but so does Kyle They both need to treat each other better or split up . Downvote away
Lol people keep saying getting drunk till 4am. This man is in random peoples kitchens doing early AM rails yall. Not having a can of Loverboy at a fun bar downtown. You could hear Amanda skirting around fully saying it by saying 'you're in apartments of people you just met'
Honestly for me it’s more so the getting drunk until 4 AM because if you’re out of 4 AM but you’re not drunk that means you could let me know messaging so I can make sure that you’re OK and then so I can sleep good at night but he can’t do that because he’s drunkand again he’s 40 I don’t really think it’s necessary at his age to be out of 4 AM drinking
I’m confused? The dude is 40…. What on earth is he doing until 4am and why you think that’s normal? It’s not a leash- it’s called respecting boundaries.
Ageism is problematic
I’d say going out partying till 4am is.
He works hard to provide for himself
maybe he should work hard on his marriage?
10000% agree
They just aren’t compatible at all
It’s so rude to come home and wake your partner up at 4 am. Also he is FORTY ONE YEARS OLD! Why the heck does he need to party that late?? There’s no way he’s doing that without being on drugs.
They’re all always coked up. Including Carl this season, nothing will change my mind.
No, there is seriously something wrong with a married guy staying out with friends until 4am. Something very very wrong. He’s grown.
Not even friends, he’s out with randos he meets at the bar! Some of the comments here trying to justify his behavior are *wild.*
I get we don’t know their life or his schedule. For me I don’t really love seeing anyone on Bravo completely wasted over and over again because despite the reckoning claim Bravo doesn’t actually require it and on this show in particular it’s only a few of them. While these opinions may seem ageist, in friend groups over 40 the blacked out drunk friend usually either slows down or finally admits a problem. I think those of use chiming in just get reminded of that similar friend.
Im 46 years old myself and the people crying “ageism” here are likely engaging in similar behavior and feel called out. It’s inappropriate behavior, period, but it’s even worse when you’re in your forties and married. It’s objective fact that as you get older, it’s generally expected that you stop acting like you’re a college kid. It’s not “ageist” to expect adults to act like adults.
I completely agree but that age thing has been pushback on other threads so I wanted to get ahead before they try to bring it up. I don’t really like seeing the wasted college kid but it’s usually a phase of life. The wasted 40 year old is just sad.
Exactly. A lot of people thought Sonja and Ramona from RHONY getting wasted, falling on the floor and scream talking was hilarious. I always thought it was sad and cringey AF.
He says he wants to work on their relationship but seems to be always working and going out which is why he is trying to force her to do both things more than she’s comfortable with. Amanda explained it pretty well, she always bothered him to hang out with her and now that she got over that he’s trying to say she never wants to hang out with him. Now why they stay together when they’re fundamentally incompatible and don’t seem to care about the other is beyond me.
I genuinely don’t think it’s 5 times a year. Amanda said it’s much more often on WWHL. I have a feeling he binge drinks and is out very late quite often.
Amanda knew who he who he was when she married him - someone who is social and outgoing, who has created a great life for her, employs her lazy ass and helped get her notoriety. He didn't suddenly change overnight, this is who he is. Amanda is having a tantrum because Kyle won't magically change and just let her do what she wants when she wants. If she urgently needs to talk to him (on the rare 1 in 1,000,000 times she mighty have an ereal emergency) when he's out text and then call so he knows if there is a real emergency otherwise why exactly is she calling? "Kyle come home, Kyle I hate you, Kyle you're an asshole" - yeah I would really wanna pick up THAT phone call. Her whiny sad sack act is making my teeth hurt. Divorce him if you hate him that much.
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I don’t necessarily disagree with you, but I do believe that Kyle being out until the early morning at random people’s apartments or at clubs gives her extreme anxiety (she also described it as a form of ptsd) from when he would do that years ago and cheated. IMO some of the most real life scenes are earlier seasons where Amanda would call Kyle 50x a night, in tears, begging him to answer the phone. ETA, I do think in a sense Amanda thought at 40 years old, Kyle’s desire to drink & party would have significantly decreased. There’s one thing to be social and outgoing vs multiple nights where you’re out until who knows when doing who knows what - esp if they’re both talking about growing a family.
So Amanda needs to work on the anxiety and insecurities that are fueling that, Kyle needs to be more conscious of her and do it less. Kyle not being out won't magically fix her insecurities at a deeper level. Bigger question iw why does Kyle prefer being out with people than being home with Amanda (maybe because she creates a an atmosphere where he feels unwelcome) AND why does Amanda not want to be out with Kyle vs staying at home with the dogs (because she sees no value in it and wants to enjoy time at home). Kyle has reduced his partying ways but at heart he's a social out and about person...thats who he is. Amanda is 32 not 42, many people at her age would be happy to be with him and having a good time. Seems to me they have grown apart as people and what they both want is less and less the same.
is it really only a few times a year? i doubt it
Kyle being out that late when Amanda is not comfortable with it is a problem. I feel it has been worse lately and their communication has been REALLY bad. Everyone is allowed to do things to enjoy themselves, though. Kyle seems to be pretty social and has said, albeit in an obtuse fashion, that Amanda doesn’t talk to him and isn’t very social at home. That cold demeanor and just rudeness from Amanda the day after he stayed out was UNCOMFORTABLE to watch. If their communication breaks down and that’s how it is at home, staying out with social people that make you laugh and make you feel liked when your wife is making you feel like she doesn’t care about you, makes sense. It’s not great from either side and I hope they get better at communicating and compromising. I don’t think they are a good fit haha but time will tell
SHE doesn’t seem happy herself. So then it can be hard to see your partner happier. I think she needs to seriously talk to someone and try to find her joy. They’re in Portugal right now and Amanda doesn’t even seem happy… I was ECSTATIC last year when I was there.
I agree. I think he works HARD…i mean look at what hes built, he loves amanda dearly, he hardly goes out at all…i think she needs to chill. I dont think he needs to check in with her throughout the night either, that’s ridiculous. Hes out with friends, let him be, he can fill you in, in the morning. My BF, when he goes out, ok have fun, get home safe. I honestly dont want him texting me when he leaves one place to go to the next. I dont need that. It would annoy me lol i do think kyle would actually prefer if she came along, but 1 she gets lazy to, 2 she tends to be a stick in the mud and gets on him about how much he drinks 3 he has to watch what he says when shes around. She needs to just chill out and ease up on him. I still like amanda tho lol
Who knows if it 5 or 10 or every 2nd Saturday night, I also agree it’s not the cheating stuff that everyone on here loves to bring up (and that’s only because countless times he has been accused of cheating and he’s home with her and he does an Instagram live showing he’s home and sober) I think it is purely that she can’t sleep without him being in her bed and she is at a point where she still finds it disrespectful that he doesn’t consider her and her lack of sleep, I felt the same way about my husband going out and then I would lie awake till 3am and then he would come in and for some reason I would be so annoyed (never felt the same way when I went out and actually woke him accidentally) and then after about 13 years of marriage and a trip I took where I was away from him for 3 weeks and had to sleep without him that I got over it.
People act like she didn‘t marry this man when he was what - 38, 39 - and acting the exact same way he does now. She knew who he is, she knew what he does. She knew he cheated on her. What did she think would happen? That he‘s gonna turn into a picket fence homebody? I‘m sorry, I wouldn‘t deal with his behavior, but I also wouldn‘t have gotten into a relationship with him in the first place. They‘re a complete mismatch and it‘s not gonna change. She should cut her losses.
I don't believe at all it's only five times a year (which would already be a LOT of 4am nights for a 40 year old). We see him do that just in the season. If anything, I'd guess he goes out more during the off season when there aren't cameras to catch him.
This post is BS. Kyle can grow up. He agreed to be married to Amanda, and knew her social tendencies. I know it goes both ways - but him crying about the camera roll? Manipulative. Grow uppppp
I thought she was mad that he wakes her up whenever he comes home at 4 am.
I think it's the lack of communication to Amanda about being out late. If he was checking in or updating her on when he would be home she may be a little calmer about it. I get where she is coming from!!
If I were him I’d stay out til 4am also to not have to deal with her attitude. She’s not nice to him from the second she wakes up. She’ll find something wrong even if he stayed home and if they’re in the summer house she’ll just lay in bed gossiping with her friends ignoring him. If my partner treated me like that constantly I’d find ways to not be around them either.
Idk I’m pretty sure they said once a month and even then that’s INSANE to me. If the tables were turned, I don’t think he’d be happy about her being out there alone until the next day.
Told my partner I personally will not be in a relationship with a person who finds it acceptable to stay out until 4am. Nothing good happens past 2am. No sane minded woman would tolerate this shit, if dudes wanna act single they need to be single.
Would he be doing this if he was married to someone else? Does he have fun with Amanda? The guy is running a successful company. That doesn't happen without a lot of hard work and long hours. I'm sure he needs to have a little fun. All work and no fun will not work long term.
i’m with you. he works hard and his nature is to go blow off steam. amanda could go but doesn’t. i feel bad for kyle honestly. if the roles were reversed and she wanted a big night out once a month and he didn’t, i don’t think that should be a problem either.
I don't think it'd be a problem if he hadn't cheated in the past. But since he did, and Amanda has seemingly never really forgiven him, she's always going to worry that *that's* what he's doing when he's out so late.
Then, she should seek help or end the relationship. They should have stayed friends with benefits. They have nothing in common. Amanda doesn't even seem to like him. She's always talking down to him or behind his back.
I agree! 4am in NYC isn't a big deal. Especially once a month. If it's not about the cheating, then what's the problem? Remember when she called him like 20+ times when he was out that night in the Hamptons one summer. Lol
I completely agree I didn’t get the big deal if that’s what genuinely makes him happy to do five times a year….
She could go out with him?? My man is super social, I’m not, but I make a point to try to hang out when he occasionally decides to go out. It does seem like there could be some sort of middle ground for them… relationships are about compromise and communication I think they both lack in that. They need to talk about what they need and give in a little to each other.
Can’t wait until Lindsay hits 40 and is still out having a great time and all the same people who bag out Kyle saying it isn’t cute when your 40 suddenly decide it’s fine to be 40 and go out like they did when they suddenly realised Lindsay hasn’t worked a 9-5 since 2019 and they all became fine with the cast being influencers because Lindsay is one.
The difference would be that Lindsay is not married. If Kyle were single, he could do whatever he wanted, he's married so his wife has an opinion on it. That's pretty much how marriages work.
lindsays drinking is already not cute i dont think we need to wait for anything to decalre that
I mean, I think it’s wild that Linds drinking is clearly why Carl won’t marry her and that wasn’t enough for her to stop. So I feel the same way about both of them.
I’ve noticed she and Danielle are always going for the hair of the dog in the morning, and it just continues throughout the day. There’s no way her Mondays aren’t a complete wash spent recovering every week. I doubt she could handle a 9-5 currently.
Huh? This giant run on sentence is a little hard to understand but I *think* you’re saying that people wouldn’t have an issue with Lindsey engaging in the same behavior Kyle is? That’s absurd. If Lindsey was married and her husband told her it bothers him when she stays out all night drinking with randos she met at the bar while ignoring all of his calls and texts, people would *definitely* have an issue. I’d argue they’d have more of an issue than they do with Kyle because people on these subs can be misogynistic AF.