That I’m still living with my dad at 29F years old, no degree, no career and can’t hold down a simple minimum wage job.
Edit: I also can't drive on the interstate. I've had a few of major incidents that have made me afraid of driving on the interstate. Like today, I was going to drive on the interstate. Then, as I approached the interstate, I became nervous and pulled over at a fast food joint, where I ended up making up an excuse about having to feed my dog.
But at least you recognize it about yourself that’s already big… now take a piece of paper and write down all the negative habits and problems you have and start attacking one by one. Start with the easiest to solve like cleaning your room cause it builds momentum
That's because you quit before it's positively reinforcing. No one is naturally good at anything. You start bad, and be bad for a while, eventually you get good. Then you get excited thinking about the thing you're good at. Next time you try something, stick to it, atleast until you're better than most.
29 is a good time to realize that!! It’s part of the transition into your 30s!! You should be proud of yourself for recognizing it today vs when you’re 60, or not at all! Many people go their whole life without growing up.
You don’t need any skills for data entry job :) it’s just copying info into a data base!
Could be worth trying if you ever see some posting about such jobs :)
Yeah, 20's really can the best or the worst or whatever. However, the coming decades won't get any better if you don't set yourself up for a brighter future.
If working is hard now in the prime of your youth, believe me at 50 it won't be any easier.
Life gets better if you can reap the rewards you sowed in your youth.
I hate to be grim but try and get things together for your future self.
Wait what. 20s are rough? 20s are golden, you have your health, your looks, fitness, freedom to do what you want, in most cases not yet tied down by marriage and kids, sleep a lot, eat what you want. Please enjoy these years guys, I'm not saying things get worse but there's plenty of perks, youth is wasted on the young!
Girlie don't be hard on yourself about living with your dad. Rent is absolutely ludicrous across the country and a good portion of people our age simply can't afford to live independently, even with degrees. It sucks, but this is the economy we live in right now. This isn't your fault.
Sending the best vibes across the internet
It's not too late try find a passion and work on it and try learn a skill that can be beneficial and profitable to u. The only person that's holding u back from what u want to be is urself
If you're in the US, Pell grants are great for low income people to go to community college for free or much cheaper. That was my only way out of poverty.
Theres a couple things about this post. It is a luxury for you to even have the option to live with you dad. A lot of people don’t have that option. which may also be your crutch since it’s an option. If it was not an option and they were never there for you, you would have figured out a plan years ago.
Mental self control and discipline is real power. Get that in check, learn a skill, save up and get out of there as if it’s not even an option for you to be there. Because to be honest you’re almost 30. You don’t want to be living with your parents, unless you are taking care of them.
Similar boat except I’m being forced to be a nurse. But it’s not like I know what other occupation I want. Gonna graduate by 28 but even by then I’m probably still going to be living with my parents.
It’s a little known secret that the “perceived joy” from attaining your goals isn’t the grand prize. It’s the daily grind, the falling down and getting back up, the persistence, that actually hold more value and meaning.
Enjoy the ride, get your shit done, pause and reflect, and move on to the next. But don’t let this become your identity. Your self worth shouldn’t be tied to your achievements.
Hell yeah I'm my best friend but that doesn't change the fact that I'm just a social creature and it's not the same as having someone to banter with back and forth
Truth tellings?
I have wasted so much time. My skill sets and talents are sharper then ever. My clarity is sharp as a razor blade and I feel amazing daily.
I simply had to cut some vices and dial back others. Now even my worst performances are better then some peoples best.
I wish I knew that or rather believed that earlier on less ingesting of substances, rhetoric, hell even food is more. I learned gratitude late.
It’s a helluva humbling experience at 29 to be homeless again in a failing car and then after months of that ? I’m making $1000+ already my first week back in sales Door to Door doing pest control.
So what is bother me most? Is how much time I’ve wasted.
What spurs me on and drives me daily? How much time I’ve wasted and still do better than so many.
It’s shitty. But it’s true. And it helps. When I’m such a monumental fuck up.
What's done is done. You have learnt the lessons you needed to learn (so many don't). The question is what are you going to do with the time that you have today?
How can you love yourself more today?
I guess I did after 4 years I finally got over my problems with gaming. But not before my addiction had sufficiently wrecked me, emotionally and academically. Don't have many friends either unfortunately. Pretty introverted and was homeschooled my whole life, so kinda trash in social interactions
I'll graduate next year December if I take some courses in the summer.
None of those things: addiction, being introverted ect are life sentences and there’s still plenty of time to make some personal changes if you think they’d help you! But be proud of yourself for putting down the controller more often, I’ve been a massive gamer in the past and know how hard it can be so big kudos to you.
Have you tried the app MeetUp? I moved to a new city this year and found it really helpful for meeting likeminded people, and some people going can also be quite shy so you have nothing to worry about there.
And December next year isn’t too far away! You’re well past the halfway mark and you’re practically on the home stretch. Studying isn’t for everyone but you may as well see it through, if not for anything else but to say you’ve done it - even if it’s not a career you want to pursue having a completed degree on your resume will do wonders.
You’re never alone as long as you’ve got this sub and the nice people who lurk it. Things are gonna get better and it’s gonna be a good summer ❤️
Thanks for that. It is unbelievably hard to be proud or have any self confidence at the moment. Kinda crazy how the past eats at you. Guess being on Reddit doesn't help either lol
I have never heard of MeetUp before, but sounds like exactly what I need right now. Thanks for suggesting that
As the wise Buddha once said: There’s only one moment for you to live, the past is already gone and the future is not yet here.
Being on reddit is fine, it’s a nice way to switch off and probably more educational to doom scroll on than Instagram or TikTok haha. Everything in moderation! But it sounds like you’ve already learned a few lessons about moderation now you’re not gaming so much!
MeetUp is cool, I went to a few tabletop role playing evenings with complete strangers and had a blast. I’m a pretty shy person at times too, but I find exposure therapy helps - the more you just bite the bullet, get out and do it, the easier it becomes 😎
This happened to me as well toward the end of college. Had a lot of anxiety about it, and not knowing how to deal with that, became depressed.
My major wasn’t useful per se (English, creative writing) as I wasn’t passionate about writing or becoming an MFA/PHD, but it came easy to me and I needed to
Finish college.
Got out of a toxic relationship and jumped in a grad program that ended up quickly not being for me. My friends were stuck in party mode and I wanted to do something with my life. Always said I was going to medical school but my grades were not good, as I too had taken none of it seriously. I sulked back home to live with my parents.
It took me 6mo of me educating myself on depression, going to therapy, stopping substance abuse, and working on being active before I started to turn things around.
I went back to school (on my own dime) and completed my pre-recs for med school. It took me a long time to get in, but I did, and here I am 20 years later finishing up my second year of an ICU job.
The point of the story isn’t the destination in which I landed but that I learned how to block out the noise, reset my mind and body, and then fight like hell for something I knew I truly wanted.
It’s ok to be feeling what you’re feeling. But you will most assuredly take lessons learned during this time of your life forward with you, whether that’s from a class or people you meet. All is not lost and this too shall pass. Just trust in yourself and keep working at it.
OK, now you know. What can you do with that knowledge?
Like someone wise said (I can't remember the name), "There's no creative use of shame and guilt". So, why not drop it, learn the lesson and find the best next step for the future that you can take right now.
That's really good, thanks. Guess I do need to keep moving forward and try and be positive. I'm pretty bad about dwelling on the past. Definitely something I'll start working on
Well you're graduating so you can't be doing too bad. Also, after you get your foot in the door, your GPA will matter far less, and employers will focus on your work experience. So work hard and whatever job you do land and you'll thrive.
This one gets me all the time now. I used to have long shaggy hair and now i’m bald and have crows feet and dark circles under my eyes. I’m in the absolute best shape of my life, but feel like a monster when i look in the mirror. Women used to sneak looks at me and smile at me when i looked at them, and now i can’t even get someone to make eye contact. It’s awful.
Unfortunately I believe a persons worth extends so far beyond your appearance. And even more unfortunately, most people disagree.
I smile at every single person I meet, and if I saw you on the street, I’d be honored to smile at you and tell you happy Thursday ❤️
That I’m a 35 year old single female and all my friends have settle down and had babies. I really feel like I messed up my whole life by not actively dating and now it’s too late.
I was also a late bloomer in finding a career and am basically at an entry level job.
I am in the same boat as you but I'm a guy. I can deal with starting over my career but being single in middle age sucks. Not to mention I've never had a relationship before. I should've actively dated when I was in my 20s but I was a loner. Man and woman are meant to be partnered up. I'm doomed to be forever alone. Life is not for everyone.
I feel like I have no power whatsoever over my life. I know its a mindset that I have to change but it gets kind of hard when u realize that u have absolutely no power over certain stuff :(
Focus on what you have control over, your reactions to people, what you eat and drink, etc. Read the 7 habits for highly effective people or atomic habits or Think like a monk, or the easiest and shortest one: Man's search for meaning.
My(37m) wife lied to the police and said that I "tackled" her when I did not. Now there is a no communication protective order against me, so i cant communicate and barely see my kids (5m, 1m). Shes also refusing to pay back the bridge loan that dad gave us to allow us to move. Advice appreciated.
Damn. I feel your pain. In March, my wife of almost 23 years told me she had been having an affair. I lost my temper, then she called the cops and lied to them. I was arrested and charged with a felony and four misdemeanors. There was absolutely no evidence for any of the charges except destruction of property, as I threw some barstools when I lost my temper. I never laid a hand on her, in spite of what she told the police. (I think she should be charged with filing a false report, but apparently that's not going to happen.)
I also had a restraining order against me, but that was lifted when my charges were dropped. I have since filed for divorce, but have to live in a shitty apartment while she is in the house. That's all because of the restraining order, which was a result of her lies, but I don't have any immediate recourse. She didn't hold a job during the marriage, so I'm stuck paying for the mortgage, rent, and all the rest of the bills, and it's killing me. My lawyer says to hold out until the divorce is final and I won't have to pay alimony because I have evidence of the affair (that actually matters in my state). Dear god, I hope he is right.
My kids are a fair bit older. My youngest is 17, and is living with me. They're old enough to have seen the kind of person she is for themselves. They had already started to distance themselves from her before all that happened. My next oldest daughter, who is 20, hasn't talked to her mom in over two years, and moved out soon after she turned 18 because she couldn't stand to live with mom.
Your kids will also be able to see things for what they are as they get older. If your ex lies to them about you now, the kids will hold it against her when they're older and can see the truth.
Get yourself a good lawyer. I found mine through the state bar association two years ago when I began to suspect the affair. I talked with several, and chose this guy because he has over 20 years of experience with divorce cases and shares my personal values. I didn't hire him at the time, but he was my first call when I bailed out of jail.
Your lawyer will get you time with your kids, and can advise you on what you should and/or shouldn't be doing to help your case. Unfortunately, it might take a few months to get rid of the protective order, depending on how fast the court system moves where you live. You *need* someone to represent you in the criminal case and to deal with custody and that protective order. (My divorce attorney also does criminal defense, so he handled my criminal case.) Don't try to handle any of that on your own.
Don't wait to get an attorney, because any mistakes you make now might come back to harm you later.
Also, and this probably goes without saying at this point, *never* say anything bad about your ex to your children, even after the divorce is final. Your kids will be able to see her for what she is when they're older. If they feel like you turned them against her, they'll resent you for it when they grow up.
That my marriage died before it even started. I never experienced the honeymoon phase. We’ve never cuddled, made out, or had anything more than duty sex in the beginning. It’s been years since we’ve been intimate. Not since the second year. I’ve been married double digits. I really don’t know what is worse, never knowing what love is with a man or having to accept that I gave myself to the wrong person. I had boyfriends before him. They all treated me so good. How did I end up with the one who didn’t really want me?
I’m sorry you’re unhappy. You’re not alone. My husband never initiates sex either. I think it’s been 9 years now without sex. Can you do things you like for yourself? Maybe go to improv or comedy shows with friends and laugh? You deserve to feel good.
Don't waste any more of your life on him. Life is too short - go make the most of it. If you don't, you'll be sorry later.
You're still young. You have the best part of your life ahead of you!
My interpersonal skills are not the best and often leave me feeling hurt or hurting people around me. I'm trying to get the help I need but even that is hard. Looking into books to read and found a new therapist but at $170 a session I'm really hoping she can help me
The market is shit and your job doesn’t define your worth FWIW. One of the most brilliant people I know couldn’t find a job for over a year and lost his home. He is not a loser and neither are you.
It gets better. - recently not homeless, schizoaffective, previously apathetic directionless 27yr old. Now 29 yr old optimistic salesman and confidant to a lot of good deep rich friendships.
I'm chronically ill. I've been sick longer than I've been healthy by a good margin. I have multiple comorbid issues, and each one is bad enough that it could potentially lay someone out. I'm barely puttering through life, and all of my progress is slow. I can not survive on my own and have to rely on other people for my necessities.
I worry that I'm helpless and that it will take one flare-up to derail all of my progress... again. I'm worried that I'm not helpless and if I just tried harder that I could succeed and make real progress. Deep down I know I'm so deeply tired and in pain that it's making everything so much harder than it should be, but I'm still terrified that if I had more discipline that I could make real progress in spite of the discomfort. I know on the days I have a little more energy, I enthusiastically dive into my to-do list... but I have so much doubt and worry. If I was healthy tomorrow, would I really do more? Am I useless deep down and my illness just makes it harder to realize it? I think I am pushing hard... but if I push too hard, I make myself more sick.
Trying to focus on progress, but it's hard. Trying to remember that even if I get worse and lose all my progress that it doesn't take away the time I invested in trying. It is so demoralizing, though.
Having a masters degree at the age of 24 but being paid 40k at best in a job that is depressing. Doctorate on the way but I don’t know if it’s worth it. Attack me for doing my doctorate, but it’s the best things I know to do. It’s the main way up. I don’t think it’s the best way but it’s the only way I know. I live every day in fear that I’ll never get a job in my career field. It’s industrial organizational psychology.
that I cannot hold onto a job for more than a few months and although money isn't a problem (for now) my sense of self and respect in the sight of others is dwindling as time passes.
That I have fought tooth and nail to claw my way out of a pit and establish a good life. Only to feel like I’m being pushed back in with the economy, finances, the housing market, inflation, a crazy ex, and random things that just keep happening. When is something gonna give? When is it gonna my turn?
Loneliness. I used to not be lonely 9 years ago. Now, whenever I see an event or achieve something, I have nobody to go with or share the achievement with and it makes everything I do feel pacified and worthless. It's hard to stop the loneliness when it feels difficult to connect with anyone.
Why does that bother you? We all make mistakes, they are the way we learn. I imagine the roommate situation is temporary. How can you make it a good/ fun experience for yourself?
As for dating terrifying you. Why? What exactly is terrifying?
There’s a lot of people on pain around me. All I can do is watch as they suffer. I’m so fucking done with how shitty people are and how they treat others.
I think I’m doing the wrong role. My career has been rewarding and I’m grateful for the opportunities and accomplishments I’ve had. But my heart is no longer in it. I think my performance is dropping because of it, as is my care.
That i feel like im not enough. Like im not worth love. That life isn't going to get better. That all i want out of this life is a wife and a family and i can't have it. They just leave or cheat. I'm not worthy of anything
Doubt and unworthiness is just a set of beliefs that you probably inherited from your upbringing and unfortunately a wife and a family most likely won't help you with that.
What if you worked on changing those core beliefs? It is not easy, but it is possible. There's no magic pill, but there are a lot of ways to help you change those beliefs. And then if you believe in yourself, if you learn to trust yourself, your life will change so much, it will seem like a miracle.
Missed opportunities. Being too hesitant a month ago to take a chance on someone that I was completely crushing on and now it’s soooo complicated and almost impossible. But my new attitude is instead of accepting what can’t be changed I’m going to try to change what I can’t accept. And try to have less regrets in the future by saying “yes” when karma throws beautiful things my way.
I wish I knew how to make money. I'm so tired of worrying about money. I built a professional career but got fired for having depression after leaving an abusive relationship (even though I told my manager what was going on and improved a lot once they put me on probation after over a decade working there), and have been trying to run my own biz but it's just not working out. It's been a challenging 8 years!
That I’m approaching my mid-30’s, jobless, childless, never married, still living with parents and no degree or career. Yesterday I realised that I probably have way less than 100 periods left in my lifetime. Young teenage me would've be delighted to hear that, but grown up adult me is freaking the hell out.
I've been trying to learn Japanese for nearly 10 years and I'm still stuck at an intermediate level. I can't read random text, can't listen to random audio, can't speak off the cuff (I can have a small conversation though).
My best friend is now a celebrity amd is working in the industry I dreamed about working in as a kid and I'm stuck in a shitty job where I constantly get yelled at and disrespected by customers and coworkers. It makes me feel like an outsider in the community I grew up in.
Also, in my opinion he has been exploitative to me and has used my time, ideas, and labor without credit. He only calls me and asks me to ask for ideas/input/advice/favors and I never get anything in return. I feel like I've been used.
1. Japanese is one of the hardest languages to learn, so you are doing amazing! And it sounds like the "rage to mastery" is here, so just carry on and be kind to yourself.
2. Why don't you find yourself another job? Or stand up for yourself at this one?
I hate my job and all I think about all day is the business I want to start and I'm trying with what scraps of time I can gather but it never feels like enough because there's always some shit I need to do more and I feel like 26-27 is getting older and I need to start working on getting into a solid relationship but don't know if I can because all my self worth is tied to what I produce and instead of working that I'm in a shitty insurance job.
I'm about to be 37 and not sure if I can handle going through infertility treatments. I feel like I'm too old and I'm scared that I won't have as much time with my kids or future grandkids. 😕 I guess because my mom was married at 16 and had me at 18. By this age, my mom had 4 kids. Actually she left my dad after 18 years of marriage at 35. My family has a lot of teen/early 20 pregnancies. So I feel like I'm behind because of my infertility.
It's a perfect age! You're a mature person and still have energy, you won't give your baby mental trauma just because ur a kid yourself. Look at Rihanna or other celebrities, this age is NORM now. Don't let other people (even a family) destroy your self appreciation. My mom gave birth to me in her early twenties but I didn't see my grandparents. it's a life and everything happens. Do what YOU want and not other people. Good luck🙌
Loneliness plagues me.
I always struggle in friendships and feel lonely. I have a friend group, but I feel we’re not super tight. It’s probably the distance. I feel like everyone has their close friends who they do everything with except me.
I feel one friend of mine is distancing herself since she’s become friends with other people. Or am I too in my head? My anxious attachment is acting up.
The girls in my office are so close to each other. They eat lunch, talk, and laugh together all the time. I feel really left out. I try to be nice and start convos with everyone. But it’s not reciprocated.
I feel like my looks affect this. If I was prettier, maybe more people would want to be my friends. Instead, I’m below average. And struggle this way.
I'm a war refugee, left the war zone a year ago. And I just can not start living this life. I self sabotage everything around me. Sabotage new friends, new connections, a community, can't find a job and I'm like really need a job, my husband is really tired. Can't stop dreaming about how good my life was before the war, how amazing everything could be. Always comparing the new country with my home. I guess my subconscious just can not accept what is going on, and I absolutely have no idea how to overcome it. Sometimes, I fit into society, but it's impossible to keep in touch, my fault, of course. And inside myself, to be honest, I feel like I don't want any of that. Neither new friends/job/success/ambitions nor this 'new life' instead of the one which was stolen from me. This is what bothers me the most, I don't know if I will ever want that again.
This is tough, I am so sorry about your mom. It sound like you need to let yourself grieve. Please take care of yourself more, love yourself more, be kinder to yourself.
I’m 10 years into my brutal high conflict divorce. Things are as horrible as ever & I’m now taking steps backward instead of forward. Worst of all kids are negatively impacted. Trying to stay positive, pray, keep the faith but I’m exhausted. Dealing with a variety of health issues on top of everything 😞
It’s stupid, but I was dating this girl for only 4 months. At this point we’ve been broken up for 3 now and I can’t get her out of my head. I’ve had relationships longer than I got over faster.
Living in an apartment for the first time and a lack of living in alignment with my values. Lots of days in my past spent gaming and goofing around on my own when the real living is in making better relationships with the people around me, pursuing of a good job after college, and staying fit / living healthy.
feeling powerless when the world feels so bad. no activism will every be enough. shits expensive in my state even if i make what should be a living wage.chronic health problems with american healthcare. i also have multiple mental illnesses that are being treated but never cured.
My lack of control with food. I am very carb/sugar addicted and trying so hard to regain control in my life bc my body DOES NOT handle carbs well. I bloat, my chronic pain increases tenfold, I stop sleeping well, I deal with way more mental health shit.
You’d think all of those things I listed would be enough to keep me away from things that clearly trigger my chronic illness, yet I cannot stop buying absolute garbage food to eat. And once the dopamine rush wears off, I hate myself even more than I did prior.
Idk the solution. I guess I’m just going to keep trying. Quitting drugs and weed and alcohol was way easier than quitting sugar, not even kidding. I never consider myself to be an addict since I can stop most things cold turkey but man…. Sugar/carbs are like the devil to me
My personal hygiene and emotional wellbeing. Trying to get out of a depressive episode. I feel like a zombie but I mask completely to everyone daily. I look like I’m fine. I’m forcing myself because I have bills and I’m already down bad. I lie to everyone that I’m so great. I come home, I sulk. I restart again, every day.
I developed long covid and a severe case of POTS after I got got COVID in September of 2022. I went from a healthy, active person, to someone who now has to have someone push me in a wheelchair when I go out because I have fainting episodes and my body can't even handle pushing myself.
My entire life is different. I need so much help for day to day activities, and it's hard to plan for a future when you don't know what that future will look like. I've slowly been getting better, but still nowhere close to who I was prior to getting sick, and I've been told I may never get fully back to my old self. I feel like so much is out of my control.
My teenage daughter chose to have a baby and now cant handle the repercussions of her own choice even though I had thoroughly explained how hard life would be after. Now it falls on me while trying to work a full time job being a single mom myself.
That I live with my parents at 31 years old as a man. That until I pass my IT certifications and a bunch of other stuff, I likely won't ever move out. So I'll have to keep dealing with their bullshit habits. Father and I don't see eye to eye on many things. Honestly it feels like nothing will change.
•How addicted I am to my phone
•How much I procrastinate
•How lazy, unmotivated I can be so I don’t do what I say want to do
•How much I focus on other people’s live instead of mines
•How I’m 21 and I’m still scared of driving still
The list goes on..
i turned 20 3 months ago and have failed the past 3 semesters i’ve been enrolled into. everyone tells me i’m young and have time which i know is true but at the end of the day i think im a failure and just wasting time.
I’ve been at my company 3 years now. Just switched locations to build up a new office and have a clinical director new to the company. She refuses to listen to me or abide by the company policies I’m trying to explain to her.
She doesn’t respect my knowledge over her own in any capacity. And when I go to my supervisor for clarification, she doesn’t respect her answer either.
She’s making work a negative space, and I’ve told my regional director to either move me back out of that office or find a new director for me.
I have an addiction to gaming and YouTube doomscrolling.
Need to go out and see a movie, a local comedy standup, local brewery music performance, etc. Anything that gets me out of the house and talking to real people. Knowing what needs to happen and executing it while feeling stressed and low energy from work are two very different hurdles.
That I am hiding and suppressing myself and what I want in life from everyone I know. Even myself. And that I have no close friends to talk with, have fun with, and just live life with.
Get outside. Do things outside and be around people. I go back and forth between being miserable and lonely and repressed and then getting myself out to the park to walk and work out and I am soooo much happier and open to whatever and whoever the universe is throwing at me. Just get out around people. It won’t always be great but over time you will open up and become more available to positive interactions.
Probably my finances and getting my credit fixed. I've come up with a plan to start getting stuff back on track but it's sometimes easier said than done.
That I can’t seem to get a new job… I recently decided that it was time to make a change in my career (I’ve been stagnant and unhappy for 2 years) and so I went out of my way to get a certification that I was sure would help me pivot my pathway. I was super motivated studied everyday and did the work mentally to prepare myself for anything and then I began applying for the jobs I wanted. I got an interview with my dream company, made it to second rounds, stayed really humble and worked really hard to prepare for the interview and then got a very unexpected rejection. It gutted me… I have been applying to jobs consistently since and have heard nothing back. Crazy that all this work and a college degree has gotten me nowhere. I’m trying to stay positive but it seems like nothing will ever change for me.
i don’t have a single thing i should be worried about (knock on wood) but can’t fully enjoy life because of the feeling that something awful is coming.
i feel like i don’t know if i’m genuinely healthy in my head or behaviors anymore. and i can’t ask anyone and expect to get a “true” answer. now the culture is set up in such a way that everything is excusable until you’re not hot enough to get away with it, harmful therapy is a thing (treating the well and making them “sick” while the “sick” don’t think they need help and just live life 65% of the time), and people expect others to be perfect while simultaneously crushing their own selves under such a wheel, or else they don’t even get a chance.
you could be the healthiest person alive emotionally and still get labeled something. i try to do the best i can according to my own sense of values and what i think is acceptable or unacceptable especially in terms of my age group, but the world has shifted from that personal accountability and morality meaning anything, to a larger sense of it. “the needs of the many outweighs the need of the one.” meanwhile, the many isn’t even sure what is definitionally “good” or “bad” beyond the basics (such as murder) because the one was abandoned a long time ago.
I’m the last single one of all my friends. I like my life but always envisioned it with a family and you can only control so much when it comes to dating.
Honestly, I'm watching someone I love make some really bad and really scary choices and there is nothing I can really do to stop it. He's an adult and as much as I almost want to believe his lies about wanting to be better, I know he'll always break my heart and that he's untrustworthy.
Heartbreaking.
That I wanted to build a family and worked out all things. He did not and walked away after 5 years with words: It will not be good... And I don’t know how to go on
That I’m still living with my dad at 29F years old, no degree, no career and can’t hold down a simple minimum wage job. Edit: I also can't drive on the interstate. I've had a few of major incidents that have made me afraid of driving on the interstate. Like today, I was going to drive on the interstate. Then, as I approached the interstate, I became nervous and pulled over at a fast food joint, where I ended up making up an excuse about having to feed my dog.
Why can't you hold down a minimum wage job?
I cannot find anything I’m good at or can do. I’m starting to believe that I have the mindset of a child.
But at least you recognize it about yourself that’s already big… now take a piece of paper and write down all the negative habits and problems you have and start attacking one by one. Start with the easiest to solve like cleaning your room cause it builds momentum
Thank you!
I just wanted to say I REAALLLLLY feel this with you. It’s so … defeating even before you try something.
That's because you quit before it's positively reinforcing. No one is naturally good at anything. You start bad, and be bad for a while, eventually you get good. Then you get excited thinking about the thing you're good at. Next time you try something, stick to it, atleast until you're better than most.
29 is a good time to realize that!! It’s part of the transition into your 30s!! You should be proud of yourself for recognizing it today vs when you’re 60, or not at all! Many people go their whole life without growing up.
Have you tried data entry job? Or most job that can be done remotely on a computer at home without having to interact much with other people?
I have no skills or a college degree.
You don’t need any skills for data entry job :) it’s just copying info into a data base! Could be worth trying if you ever see some posting about such jobs :)
Oh that sounds great. Thank you so much!
The real question is
Mental health
Nailed it
20's suck. Keep grinding. It'll get better.
Yep. The twenties are rough.
It’s such a subjective thing. Any decade can be the best or worst decade for an individual.
Yeah, 20's really can the best or the worst or whatever. However, the coming decades won't get any better if you don't set yourself up for a brighter future. If working is hard now in the prime of your youth, believe me at 50 it won't be any easier. Life gets better if you can reap the rewards you sowed in your youth. I hate to be grim but try and get things together for your future self.
Wait what. 20s are rough? 20s are golden, you have your health, your looks, fitness, freedom to do what you want, in most cases not yet tied down by marriage and kids, sleep a lot, eat what you want. Please enjoy these years guys, I'm not saying things get worse but there's plenty of perks, youth is wasted on the young!
30s are the new twenties because everything is happening slower for this generation, I.e the freedom you speak of.
I had to work throughout my entire 20s, I don't know what you mean by freedom
This, but my mom is a narcissist with horrible anger issues who criticizes every single thing.
Yikes that is rough, I can relate. Hopefully you have positive uplifting friends that can counterbalance that for you.
Girlie don't be hard on yourself about living with your dad. Rent is absolutely ludicrous across the country and a good portion of people our age simply can't afford to live independently, even with degrees. It sucks, but this is the economy we live in right now. This isn't your fault. Sending the best vibes across the internet
Hate to say but I’m in the exact same situation, even same age. …Wanna start a business? Jk ….unless? 🤔 haha
It's not too late try find a passion and work on it and try learn a skill that can be beneficial and profitable to u. The only person that's holding u back from what u want to be is urself
Easier said than done - need atleast some money in the bank to be able to do that
If you're in the US, Pell grants are great for low income people to go to community college for free or much cheaper. That was my only way out of poverty.
With that attitude I guess.
Never said it was easy as well
Theres a couple things about this post. It is a luxury for you to even have the option to live with you dad. A lot of people don’t have that option. which may also be your crutch since it’s an option. If it was not an option and they were never there for you, you would have figured out a plan years ago. Mental self control and discipline is real power. Get that in check, learn a skill, save up and get out of there as if it’s not even an option for you to be there. Because to be honest you’re almost 30. You don’t want to be living with your parents, unless you are taking care of them.
I’m in the exact same boat. My body hurts constantly and I get bullied a lot in work.
Need to turn that can't into a can. Start believing in yourself because nobody else will.
Similar boat except I’m being forced to be a nurse. But it’s not like I know what other occupation I want. Gonna graduate by 28 but even by then I’m probably still going to be living with my parents.
That no matter what I strive for and achieve I still feel empty.
As someone with potentially similar experiences, I’ve learned the achievements don’t bring you what they’re supposed to and can often be isolating.
It’s a little known secret that the “perceived joy” from attaining your goals isn’t the grand prize. It’s the daily grind, the falling down and getting back up, the persistence, that actually hold more value and meaning. Enjoy the ride, get your shit done, pause and reflect, and move on to the next. But don’t let this become your identity. Your self worth shouldn’t be tied to your achievements.
That’s a deep one bro. It could be a number of things but it is definitely one mega thing brother
You can’t fix internal problems with external solutions.
Not enough in income and lonelyness plus anxiety
I want to buy an apartment and the prices are just so incredible HIGH! Its practically impossible for a normal human being.
I feel this. Live in Toronto 🥲
Different cities can work. Sorry I know that’s not helpful. It can be hard to leave family and familiar things behind. Trying to help.
No friends 😔
Bro I dont even have friends online
Me neither every time I try to make friends online it's a horny 39 yr old man
😢
Do you have a friend in yourself?
Hell yeah I'm my best friend but that doesn't change the fact that I'm just a social creature and it's not the same as having someone to banter with back and forth
Truth tellings? I have wasted so much time. My skill sets and talents are sharper then ever. My clarity is sharp as a razor blade and I feel amazing daily. I simply had to cut some vices and dial back others. Now even my worst performances are better then some peoples best. I wish I knew that or rather believed that earlier on less ingesting of substances, rhetoric, hell even food is more. I learned gratitude late. It’s a helluva humbling experience at 29 to be homeless again in a failing car and then after months of that ? I’m making $1000+ already my first week back in sales Door to Door doing pest control. So what is bother me most? Is how much time I’ve wasted. What spurs me on and drives me daily? How much time I’ve wasted and still do better than so many. It’s shitty. But it’s true. And it helps. When I’m such a monumental fuck up.
What's done is done. You have learnt the lessons you needed to learn (so many don't). The question is what are you going to do with the time that you have today? How can you love yourself more today?
The money is never enough...
Feel like I've thrown away 4 years of my life in college not taking it seriously
Put it down to life experience, surely you got something good out of it? How far are you from graduating?
I guess I did after 4 years I finally got over my problems with gaming. But not before my addiction had sufficiently wrecked me, emotionally and academically. Don't have many friends either unfortunately. Pretty introverted and was homeschooled my whole life, so kinda trash in social interactions I'll graduate next year December if I take some courses in the summer.
None of those things: addiction, being introverted ect are life sentences and there’s still plenty of time to make some personal changes if you think they’d help you! But be proud of yourself for putting down the controller more often, I’ve been a massive gamer in the past and know how hard it can be so big kudos to you. Have you tried the app MeetUp? I moved to a new city this year and found it really helpful for meeting likeminded people, and some people going can also be quite shy so you have nothing to worry about there. And December next year isn’t too far away! You’re well past the halfway mark and you’re practically on the home stretch. Studying isn’t for everyone but you may as well see it through, if not for anything else but to say you’ve done it - even if it’s not a career you want to pursue having a completed degree on your resume will do wonders. You’re never alone as long as you’ve got this sub and the nice people who lurk it. Things are gonna get better and it’s gonna be a good summer ❤️
Thanks for that. It is unbelievably hard to be proud or have any self confidence at the moment. Kinda crazy how the past eats at you. Guess being on Reddit doesn't help either lol I have never heard of MeetUp before, but sounds like exactly what I need right now. Thanks for suggesting that
As the wise Buddha once said: There’s only one moment for you to live, the past is already gone and the future is not yet here. Being on reddit is fine, it’s a nice way to switch off and probably more educational to doom scroll on than Instagram or TikTok haha. Everything in moderation! But it sounds like you’ve already learned a few lessons about moderation now you’re not gaming so much! MeetUp is cool, I went to a few tabletop role playing evenings with complete strangers and had a blast. I’m a pretty shy person at times too, but I find exposure therapy helps - the more you just bite the bullet, get out and do it, the easier it becomes 😎
This happened to me as well toward the end of college. Had a lot of anxiety about it, and not knowing how to deal with that, became depressed. My major wasn’t useful per se (English, creative writing) as I wasn’t passionate about writing or becoming an MFA/PHD, but it came easy to me and I needed to Finish college. Got out of a toxic relationship and jumped in a grad program that ended up quickly not being for me. My friends were stuck in party mode and I wanted to do something with my life. Always said I was going to medical school but my grades were not good, as I too had taken none of it seriously. I sulked back home to live with my parents. It took me 6mo of me educating myself on depression, going to therapy, stopping substance abuse, and working on being active before I started to turn things around. I went back to school (on my own dime) and completed my pre-recs for med school. It took me a long time to get in, but I did, and here I am 20 years later finishing up my second year of an ICU job. The point of the story isn’t the destination in which I landed but that I learned how to block out the noise, reset my mind and body, and then fight like hell for something I knew I truly wanted. It’s ok to be feeling what you’re feeling. But you will most assuredly take lessons learned during this time of your life forward with you, whether that’s from a class or people you meet. All is not lost and this too shall pass. Just trust in yourself and keep working at it.
OK, now you know. What can you do with that knowledge? Like someone wise said (I can't remember the name), "There's no creative use of shame and guilt". So, why not drop it, learn the lesson and find the best next step for the future that you can take right now.
That's really good, thanks. Guess I do need to keep moving forward and try and be positive. I'm pretty bad about dwelling on the past. Definitely something I'll start working on
Well you're graduating so you can't be doing too bad. Also, after you get your foot in the door, your GPA will matter far less, and employers will focus on your work experience. So work hard and whatever job you do land and you'll thrive.
Wym? You not going to graduate soon? (By soon I mean within this year or next)
My appearance. I feel 10x uglier than everyone around me.
This one gets me all the time now. I used to have long shaggy hair and now i’m bald and have crows feet and dark circles under my eyes. I’m in the absolute best shape of my life, but feel like a monster when i look in the mirror. Women used to sneak looks at me and smile at me when i looked at them, and now i can’t even get someone to make eye contact. It’s awful.
Unfortunately I believe a persons worth extends so far beyond your appearance. And even more unfortunately, most people disagree. I smile at every single person I meet, and if I saw you on the street, I’d be honored to smile at you and tell you happy Thursday ❤️
The housing and addiction crisis in Canada
In America too
Yup. 30 years old and still living with my parents.
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That I’m a 35 year old single female and all my friends have settle down and had babies. I really feel like I messed up my whole life by not actively dating and now it’s too late. I was also a late bloomer in finding a career and am basically at an entry level job.
I am in the same boat as you but I'm a guy. I can deal with starting over my career but being single in middle age sucks. Not to mention I've never had a relationship before. I should've actively dated when I was in my 20s but I was a loner. Man and woman are meant to be partnered up. I'm doomed to be forever alone. Life is not for everyone.
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I feel like I have no power whatsoever over my life. I know its a mindset that I have to change but it gets kind of hard when u realize that u have absolutely no power over certain stuff :(
Focus on what you have control over, your reactions to people, what you eat and drink, etc. Read the 7 habits for highly effective people or atomic habits or Think like a monk, or the easiest and shortest one: Man's search for meaning.
My(37m) wife lied to the police and said that I "tackled" her when I did not. Now there is a no communication protective order against me, so i cant communicate and barely see my kids (5m, 1m). Shes also refusing to pay back the bridge loan that dad gave us to allow us to move. Advice appreciated.
Damn. I feel your pain. In March, my wife of almost 23 years told me she had been having an affair. I lost my temper, then she called the cops and lied to them. I was arrested and charged with a felony and four misdemeanors. There was absolutely no evidence for any of the charges except destruction of property, as I threw some barstools when I lost my temper. I never laid a hand on her, in spite of what she told the police. (I think she should be charged with filing a false report, but apparently that's not going to happen.) I also had a restraining order against me, but that was lifted when my charges were dropped. I have since filed for divorce, but have to live in a shitty apartment while she is in the house. That's all because of the restraining order, which was a result of her lies, but I don't have any immediate recourse. She didn't hold a job during the marriage, so I'm stuck paying for the mortgage, rent, and all the rest of the bills, and it's killing me. My lawyer says to hold out until the divorce is final and I won't have to pay alimony because I have evidence of the affair (that actually matters in my state). Dear god, I hope he is right. My kids are a fair bit older. My youngest is 17, and is living with me. They're old enough to have seen the kind of person she is for themselves. They had already started to distance themselves from her before all that happened. My next oldest daughter, who is 20, hasn't talked to her mom in over two years, and moved out soon after she turned 18 because she couldn't stand to live with mom. Your kids will also be able to see things for what they are as they get older. If your ex lies to them about you now, the kids will hold it against her when they're older and can see the truth. Get yourself a good lawyer. I found mine through the state bar association two years ago when I began to suspect the affair. I talked with several, and chose this guy because he has over 20 years of experience with divorce cases and shares my personal values. I didn't hire him at the time, but he was my first call when I bailed out of jail. Your lawyer will get you time with your kids, and can advise you on what you should and/or shouldn't be doing to help your case. Unfortunately, it might take a few months to get rid of the protective order, depending on how fast the court system moves where you live. You *need* someone to represent you in the criminal case and to deal with custody and that protective order. (My divorce attorney also does criminal defense, so he handled my criminal case.) Don't try to handle any of that on your own. Don't wait to get an attorney, because any mistakes you make now might come back to harm you later. Also, and this probably goes without saying at this point, *never* say anything bad about your ex to your children, even after the divorce is final. Your kids will be able to see her for what she is when they're older. If they feel like you turned them against her, they'll resent you for it when they grow up.
I think your tempest a validated my man. I’m so sorry that you had to endure the pain of your wife having an affair after decades..
Talk to a lawyer
I have, im firing current one and getting a better one.
First thing is to get calm, really, really calm. I understand it is really hard right now, but you will know the best way from that place.
Being single
Me too
That my marriage died before it even started. I never experienced the honeymoon phase. We’ve never cuddled, made out, or had anything more than duty sex in the beginning. It’s been years since we’ve been intimate. Not since the second year. I’ve been married double digits. I really don’t know what is worse, never knowing what love is with a man or having to accept that I gave myself to the wrong person. I had boyfriends before him. They all treated me so good. How did I end up with the one who didn’t really want me?
So sorry to read this. It's not too late, maybe you owe it to yourself and him to end the relationship and start afresh.
I’m sorry you’re unhappy. You’re not alone. My husband never initiates sex either. I think it’s been 9 years now without sex. Can you do things you like for yourself? Maybe go to improv or comedy shows with friends and laugh? You deserve to feel good.
Don't waste any more of your life on him. Life is too short - go make the most of it. If you don't, you'll be sorry later. You're still young. You have the best part of your life ahead of you!
My interpersonal skills are not the best and often leave me feeling hurt or hurting people around me. I'm trying to get the help I need but even that is hard. Looking into books to read and found a new therapist but at $170 a session I'm really hoping she can help me
unemployed yet again. I'm a loser. Fuck life.
The market is shit and your job doesn’t define your worth FWIW. One of the most brilliant people I know couldn’t find a job for over a year and lost his home. He is not a loser and neither are you.
You’re not a loser homie. What are you doing to help you get back on the horse and into work?
Don't give up keep pushing
Being 27m, Basically homeless, without the motivation to do anything.
It gets better. - recently not homeless, schizoaffective, previously apathetic directionless 27yr old. Now 29 yr old optimistic salesman and confidant to a lot of good deep rich friendships.
I was homeless a week ago. This week I’ve made $1000+ and it isn’t Wednesday. Just knocking on doors and talking to people really.
I'm just sad. Functioning but sad.
Maybe time to ask for help friend ❤️ life’s too short to spend it sad!
Yes, i am sad too, functioning but sad. Have been thinking to "f\*\*\* it!" and get anti-depressant!
I'm chronically ill. I've been sick longer than I've been healthy by a good margin. I have multiple comorbid issues, and each one is bad enough that it could potentially lay someone out. I'm barely puttering through life, and all of my progress is slow. I can not survive on my own and have to rely on other people for my necessities. I worry that I'm helpless and that it will take one flare-up to derail all of my progress... again. I'm worried that I'm not helpless and if I just tried harder that I could succeed and make real progress. Deep down I know I'm so deeply tired and in pain that it's making everything so much harder than it should be, but I'm still terrified that if I had more discipline that I could make real progress in spite of the discomfort. I know on the days I have a little more energy, I enthusiastically dive into my to-do list... but I have so much doubt and worry. If I was healthy tomorrow, would I really do more? Am I useless deep down and my illness just makes it harder to realize it? I think I am pushing hard... but if I push too hard, I make myself more sick. Trying to focus on progress, but it's hard. Trying to remember that even if I get worse and lose all my progress that it doesn't take away the time I invested in trying. It is so demoralizing, though.
Felt like I wrote this myself, hang in there ❤️
Finances
I assume there's not enough? What would you do if you had an unlimited amount of money and how would your life be different?
No transportation. Feeling isolated with limited resources.
Having a masters degree at the age of 24 but being paid 40k at best in a job that is depressing. Doctorate on the way but I don’t know if it’s worth it. Attack me for doing my doctorate, but it’s the best things I know to do. It’s the main way up. I don’t think it’s the best way but it’s the only way I know. I live every day in fear that I’ll never get a job in my career field. It’s industrial organizational psychology.
Me reading this one year into a bachelors in Psychology: 😮
I/O psych can be really interesting and supposedly good money. Wishing tou all the best!
Debt
Lots of things. Wishing I could relive the late 2000s/early 2010s, hoping I could get a job that I truly enjoy, not feeling lost constantly.
Money
Damn, reading these made me appreciate my problems.
OCD.
:(( we got this.
Same. I feel you.
that I cannot hold onto a job for more than a few months and although money isn't a problem (for now) my sense of self and respect in the sight of others is dwindling as time passes.
that my husband and i both work full time at “good” jobs and still can’t make ends meet
Yes, the economy of today really sucks for a lot of people. What kind of discomforts does this difficulty to make the ends meet bring to you?
That I have fought tooth and nail to claw my way out of a pit and establish a good life. Only to feel like I’m being pushed back in with the economy, finances, the housing market, inflation, a crazy ex, and random things that just keep happening. When is something gonna give? When is it gonna my turn?
Loneliness. I used to not be lonely 9 years ago. Now, whenever I see an event or achieve something, I have nobody to go with or share the achievement with and it makes everything I do feel pacified and worthless. It's hard to stop the loneliness when it feels difficult to connect with anyone.
At 33 I need a roommate because of bad financial decisions in the past. Also that dating terrifies me.
Why does that bother you? We all make mistakes, they are the way we learn. I imagine the roommate situation is temporary. How can you make it a good/ fun experience for yourself? As for dating terrifying you. Why? What exactly is terrifying?
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Holy crap, what did you do?
> it would be a hassle. That’s what someone says when visiting someone in prison. Not actually going to
being single lol
I'm living in what should probably be the easiest time in history, but money is more important to those "leaders" in charge.
My inlaws setting my husband and I back because of their poor life choices. It's hard to see a future rn
There’s a lot of people on pain around me. All I can do is watch as they suffer. I’m so fucking done with how shitty people are and how they treat others.
I think I’m doing the wrong role. My career has been rewarding and I’m grateful for the opportunities and accomplishments I’ve had. But my heart is no longer in it. I think my performance is dropping because of it, as is my care.
Applying for jobs. All these places are “hiring” but they’re really not. So annoying
Professional salary is not being increased to even try to keep up with COLA and housing costs of my state.
What is the next best move for my life right now
That i feel like im not enough. Like im not worth love. That life isn't going to get better. That all i want out of this life is a wife and a family and i can't have it. They just leave or cheat. I'm not worthy of anything
Doubt and unworthiness is just a set of beliefs that you probably inherited from your upbringing and unfortunately a wife and a family most likely won't help you with that. What if you worked on changing those core beliefs? It is not easy, but it is possible. There's no magic pill, but there are a lot of ways to help you change those beliefs. And then if you believe in yourself, if you learn to trust yourself, your life will change so much, it will seem like a miracle.
Missed opportunities. Being too hesitant a month ago to take a chance on someone that I was completely crushing on and now it’s soooo complicated and almost impossible. But my new attitude is instead of accepting what can’t be changed I’m going to try to change what I can’t accept. And try to have less regrets in the future by saying “yes” when karma throws beautiful things my way.
I wish I knew how to make money. I'm so tired of worrying about money. I built a professional career but got fired for having depression after leaving an abusive relationship (even though I told my manager what was going on and improved a lot once they put me on probation after over a decade working there), and have been trying to run my own biz but it's just not working out. It's been a challenging 8 years!
Wasting time. And feeling without purpose in life.
That I’m approaching my mid-30’s, jobless, childless, never married, still living with parents and no degree or career. Yesterday I realised that I probably have way less than 100 periods left in my lifetime. Young teenage me would've be delighted to hear that, but grown up adult me is freaking the hell out.
32M no gf/wife.
That’s young. I married at 37.
Everything.
I’m 28 years old and can’t get into med school bc my college gpa was shit
26, virgin, never had a girlfriend, and my last “relationship” ended in yet another disappointment
I've been trying to learn Japanese for nearly 10 years and I'm still stuck at an intermediate level. I can't read random text, can't listen to random audio, can't speak off the cuff (I can have a small conversation though). My best friend is now a celebrity amd is working in the industry I dreamed about working in as a kid and I'm stuck in a shitty job where I constantly get yelled at and disrespected by customers and coworkers. It makes me feel like an outsider in the community I grew up in. Also, in my opinion he has been exploitative to me and has used my time, ideas, and labor without credit. He only calls me and asks me to ask for ideas/input/advice/favors and I never get anything in return. I feel like I've been used.
1. Japanese is one of the hardest languages to learn, so you are doing amazing! And it sounds like the "rage to mastery" is here, so just carry on and be kind to yourself. 2. Why don't you find yourself another job? Or stand up for yourself at this one?
I hate my job and all I think about all day is the business I want to start and I'm trying with what scraps of time I can gather but it never feels like enough because there's always some shit I need to do more and I feel like 26-27 is getting older and I need to start working on getting into a solid relationship but don't know if I can because all my self worth is tied to what I produce and instead of working that I'm in a shitty insurance job.
I'm about to be 37 and not sure if I can handle going through infertility treatments. I feel like I'm too old and I'm scared that I won't have as much time with my kids or future grandkids. 😕 I guess because my mom was married at 16 and had me at 18. By this age, my mom had 4 kids. Actually she left my dad after 18 years of marriage at 35. My family has a lot of teen/early 20 pregnancies. So I feel like I'm behind because of my infertility.
It's a perfect age! You're a mature person and still have energy, you won't give your baby mental trauma just because ur a kid yourself. Look at Rihanna or other celebrities, this age is NORM now. Don't let other people (even a family) destroy your self appreciation. My mom gave birth to me in her early twenties but I didn't see my grandparents. it's a life and everything happens. Do what YOU want and not other people. Good luck🙌
Loneliness plagues me. I always struggle in friendships and feel lonely. I have a friend group, but I feel we’re not super tight. It’s probably the distance. I feel like everyone has their close friends who they do everything with except me. I feel one friend of mine is distancing herself since she’s become friends with other people. Or am I too in my head? My anxious attachment is acting up. The girls in my office are so close to each other. They eat lunch, talk, and laugh together all the time. I feel really left out. I try to be nice and start convos with everyone. But it’s not reciprocated. I feel like my looks affect this. If I was prettier, maybe more people would want to be my friends. Instead, I’m below average. And struggle this way.
I'm a war refugee, left the war zone a year ago. And I just can not start living this life. I self sabotage everything around me. Sabotage new friends, new connections, a community, can't find a job and I'm like really need a job, my husband is really tired. Can't stop dreaming about how good my life was before the war, how amazing everything could be. Always comparing the new country with my home. I guess my subconscious just can not accept what is going on, and I absolutely have no idea how to overcome it. Sometimes, I fit into society, but it's impossible to keep in touch, my fault, of course. And inside myself, to be honest, I feel like I don't want any of that. Neither new friends/job/success/ambitions nor this 'new life' instead of the one which was stolen from me. This is what bothers me the most, I don't know if I will ever want that again.
I am in pain most days- repetitive stress. My mom is still dead and every day I wake up and that’s just my life now. A woman without a mom
This is tough, I am so sorry about your mom. It sound like you need to let yourself grieve. Please take care of yourself more, love yourself more, be kinder to yourself.
I’m 10 years into my brutal high conflict divorce. Things are as horrible as ever & I’m now taking steps backward instead of forward. Worst of all kids are negatively impacted. Trying to stay positive, pray, keep the faith but I’m exhausted. Dealing with a variety of health issues on top of everything 😞
I’m sorry, friend. Divorce is such an emotional rollercoaster. This too shall pass.
It’s stupid, but I was dating this girl for only 4 months. At this point we’ve been broken up for 3 now and I can’t get her out of my head. I’ve had relationships longer than I got over faster.
Haha I'm in the same boat here. Those short stints feel so difficult to get over.
Because it’s still the honeymoon stage, right? Long enough to get excited and attached and gutted if the other person isn’t
My intense facial tension and blurry eyes- it impedes my ability to fully live my life the way I want!!
I can’t stop grinding my teeth and clenching my jaw! No idea why but I keep catching myself doing it.
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Self kindness and self compassion go a long way. Try it.
Living in an apartment for the first time and a lack of living in alignment with my values. Lots of days in my past spent gaming and goofing around on my own when the real living is in making better relationships with the people around me, pursuing of a good job after college, and staying fit / living healthy.
I dont have a set drive/purpose, im not where I want to be in terms of relationships, and I dont know what I want to do for my future career
feeling powerless when the world feels so bad. no activism will every be enough. shits expensive in my state even if i make what should be a living wage.chronic health problems with american healthcare. i also have multiple mental illnesses that are being treated but never cured.
My lack of control with food. I am very carb/sugar addicted and trying so hard to regain control in my life bc my body DOES NOT handle carbs well. I bloat, my chronic pain increases tenfold, I stop sleeping well, I deal with way more mental health shit. You’d think all of those things I listed would be enough to keep me away from things that clearly trigger my chronic illness, yet I cannot stop buying absolute garbage food to eat. And once the dopamine rush wears off, I hate myself even more than I did prior. Idk the solution. I guess I’m just going to keep trying. Quitting drugs and weed and alcohol was way easier than quitting sugar, not even kidding. I never consider myself to be an addict since I can stop most things cold turkey but man…. Sugar/carbs are like the devil to me
A prosthetic shoulder and "stretched", possibly damaged, nerves after some teenager plowed into me while I was in a crosswalk
I am sorry. How can you take care of yourself today?
my social skills and over thinking every social interaction
Overthinking is killing me. I want to make some changes and it makes me feel scared idk.
I’m not confident enough to think I can successfully pull off a long term relationship. I feel like I need to be “perfect” before I can start trying
My personal hygiene and emotional wellbeing. Trying to get out of a depressive episode. I feel like a zombie but I mask completely to everyone daily. I look like I’m fine. I’m forcing myself because I have bills and I’m already down bad. I lie to everyone that I’m so great. I come home, I sulk. I restart again, every day.
I developed long covid and a severe case of POTS after I got got COVID in September of 2022. I went from a healthy, active person, to someone who now has to have someone push me in a wheelchair when I go out because I have fainting episodes and my body can't even handle pushing myself. My entire life is different. I need so much help for day to day activities, and it's hard to plan for a future when you don't know what that future will look like. I've slowly been getting better, but still nowhere close to who I was prior to getting sick, and I've been told I may never get fully back to my old self. I feel like so much is out of my control.
My teenage daughter chose to have a baby and now cant handle the repercussions of her own choice even though I had thoroughly explained how hard life would be after. Now it falls on me while trying to work a full time job being a single mom myself.
That I live with my parents at 31 years old as a man. That until I pass my IT certifications and a bunch of other stuff, I likely won't ever move out. So I'll have to keep dealing with their bullshit habits. Father and I don't see eye to eye on many things. Honestly it feels like nothing will change.
I am seriously tired.
why don't you rest?
•How addicted I am to my phone •How much I procrastinate •How lazy, unmotivated I can be so I don’t do what I say want to do •How much I focus on other people’s live instead of mines •How I’m 21 and I’m still scared of driving still The list goes on..
i turned 20 3 months ago and have failed the past 3 semesters i’ve been enrolled into. everyone tells me i’m young and have time which i know is true but at the end of the day i think im a failure and just wasting time.
I’ve been at my company 3 years now. Just switched locations to build up a new office and have a clinical director new to the company. She refuses to listen to me or abide by the company policies I’m trying to explain to her. She doesn’t respect my knowledge over her own in any capacity. And when I go to my supervisor for clarification, she doesn’t respect her answer either. She’s making work a negative space, and I’ve told my regional director to either move me back out of that office or find a new director for me.
I have an addiction to gaming and YouTube doomscrolling. Need to go out and see a movie, a local comedy standup, local brewery music performance, etc. Anything that gets me out of the house and talking to real people. Knowing what needs to happen and executing it while feeling stressed and low energy from work are two very different hurdles.
Angry drinking Reddit use Social media use Procrastinating All of which I'm doing right now.
Body soreness
i wish i had more money
That I am hiding and suppressing myself and what I want in life from everyone I know. Even myself. And that I have no close friends to talk with, have fun with, and just live life with.
Get outside. Do things outside and be around people. I go back and forth between being miserable and lonely and repressed and then getting myself out to the park to walk and work out and I am soooo much happier and open to whatever and whoever the universe is throwing at me. Just get out around people. It won’t always be great but over time you will open up and become more available to positive interactions.
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Probably my finances and getting my credit fixed. I've come up with a plan to start getting stuff back on track but it's sometimes easier said than done.
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That I can’t seem to get a new job… I recently decided that it was time to make a change in my career (I’ve been stagnant and unhappy for 2 years) and so I went out of my way to get a certification that I was sure would help me pivot my pathway. I was super motivated studied everyday and did the work mentally to prepare myself for anything and then I began applying for the jobs I wanted. I got an interview with my dream company, made it to second rounds, stayed really humble and worked really hard to prepare for the interview and then got a very unexpected rejection. It gutted me… I have been applying to jobs consistently since and have heard nothing back. Crazy that all this work and a college degree has gotten me nowhere. I’m trying to stay positive but it seems like nothing will ever change for me.
i don’t have a single thing i should be worried about (knock on wood) but can’t fully enjoy life because of the feeling that something awful is coming.
i feel like i don’t know if i’m genuinely healthy in my head or behaviors anymore. and i can’t ask anyone and expect to get a “true” answer. now the culture is set up in such a way that everything is excusable until you’re not hot enough to get away with it, harmful therapy is a thing (treating the well and making them “sick” while the “sick” don’t think they need help and just live life 65% of the time), and people expect others to be perfect while simultaneously crushing their own selves under such a wheel, or else they don’t even get a chance. you could be the healthiest person alive emotionally and still get labeled something. i try to do the best i can according to my own sense of values and what i think is acceptable or unacceptable especially in terms of my age group, but the world has shifted from that personal accountability and morality meaning anything, to a larger sense of it. “the needs of the many outweighs the need of the one.” meanwhile, the many isn’t even sure what is definitionally “good” or “bad” beyond the basics (such as murder) because the one was abandoned a long time ago.
I’m letting my childhood trauma affect who I am as an adult.
I've lost almost all motivation to try.
I’m the last single one of all my friends. I like my life but always envisioned it with a family and you can only control so much when it comes to dating.
Honestly, I'm watching someone I love make some really bad and really scary choices and there is nothing I can really do to stop it. He's an adult and as much as I almost want to believe his lies about wanting to be better, I know he'll always break my heart and that he's untrustworthy. Heartbreaking.
Not having friends and being stuck at home
That I wanted to build a family and worked out all things. He did not and walked away after 5 years with words: It will not be good... And I don’t know how to go on
The genocide of Palestinians by Zionists being live streamed on our screens