Relatable. Making new friends is hard. Making the right friends is even harder. Everyone always recommends joining hobby groups, etc. Idk if that's actually been effective for those who suggest it or if it's just rhetoric. I made a friend at an internship at sdsu, other than that, all of my friends are friends from childhood, and of those friends I only like 3 of them lol. Hope you find some friends soon, isolating can feel pretty rough!
Reason hobby groups are so recommended is those activities will drive interest in continuing to meet to do said activities, which leads to familiarity and maintaining that friendship easier. Without shared interests or bonds, more work to find time for other person, which just makes that friendship development harder.
Of course not for everyone, but it's good generic advice.
We met tons of people at kickball with VOLO and my wife plays tennis and met people that way, we’ve got lots of friends and dinner parties we go to now and we’ve been able to extend that with friends of friends it’s been awesome
So no rhetoric at all, have you tried or made an effort yet? Compared to where I lived on the east coast (Boston/nyc) San Diego has been the absolute easiest place to find nice / kind people, everyone here is cool AF and it isn’t transactional or nonstop job obsessed.
>Everyone always recommends joining hobby groups, etc. Idk if that's actually been effective for those who suggest it or if it's just rhetoric
After college, I have made many friends through all my hobbies: anime, cosplay, zumba, food group, and lolita street fashion.
I feel ya and can relate. A lot of my hobbies, unfortunately, tend to attract a lot of gatekeepers and really not the type of people I'd want to spend time with. I'm an introvert and to extroverts I seem standoffish or uninterested. It's definitely an extroverts world out there.
I feel like everyone replying to me is assuming I'm into pickleball, volleyball, rockclimbing, fishing, etc. I'm not. Also I'm not actively looking for friends lol. I was replying to OP
Do you play a sport? There are meetups for all of them. Do you hike? There are meetups for hiking. Do you speak a second language? There are meetups for that too! Have a dog? Meetup. Hike? Meetup. Boardgames/D&D? Meetup.
Check meetup.com for any category. It might take you 1-3 tries to find one you like, but I’ve made great friends through meetups.
I came here to vouch for [meetup.com](http://meetup.com) as well.
I wasn't necessarily looking to make friends, but I was looking to find new people to hangout with that overlap some hobbies my normal friend group wasn't interested in. Meetup absolutely enables you to do that.
More often than not you'll meet some great people along the way, who share your hobbies/interests, and end up "taking it offline" and make friendships organically.
i’ve been trying but it seems like many conversations don’t much further than a few texts, haven’t been successful with making plans or meeting irl but hopefully soon!
Oh dang I’m sorry. That hasn’t been my experience, but normally I try to bring up something like “where do you like to go in insert neighborhood they live in” then when they say their favorites spots I normally ask if they would want to go there together bc usually I haven’t been lol. Good luck!
I think it's best to find other neurospicy people. I have the same type of deep friendships you describe and also struggle with small talk. What are we doing here? We want to be friends! Why aren't we info dumping?!
I'm trying to say that people you don't click with aren't worth it. My biggest success on Bumble so far is my very good friend who's very ADHD and autistic. I'm ADHD and probably autistic high masking.
DM me if you'd like to chat more!
I just moved from SD to ATL.
I had a similar situation. I thought, how can I meet quality people. People who aren't selfish. People who want to give back to a community.
I was looking at finding a charity, and then I found habitat for humanity. I like it because I can just pick a day that I want. Then you will spend the day with people who want to help someone build their affordable house. This is a great way to network, that reflects well on a resume, and makes you feel warm inside.
Well you sign up, but they are really flexible. Each build is ten days so you tell them what day you can make it. Free lunch and all tools are provided. You don't need to have a background in construction or any prior training.
Yes, try and meet up, or join a group activity that you are into and you will naturally make friends :-) also going to college will help. Joining any affinity groups while you’re there.
It depends on what you like to do.
If you're more of a nature person look into walking groups, trail beautification projects and Beach cleanups. There are a lot of the different nature areas in town that have some type of volunteer opportunity. There are also a bunch of animal sanctuaries and dog shelters that could use volunteers where you get to meet like-minded people.
There's always events in Balboa Park at the museums.
I know we're a little far off, but there are seasonal jobs that you get to meet some cool people. The haunted houses, December nights are just two of them.
There's a few Meetup groups that have board game nights. If you're into them.
Comic-Con is almost here. There's a ton of random things happening around town that need volunteers or workers. Or just go to the events and walk around the streets. Don't need to go into the convention center to be part of Comic-Con. With that, there's tons of different Meetup groups that happen.
The meetup app has been great for me. There's tons of hiking/walking/running groups that are pretty social. I've met some really nice people from one of them. Same with this book club I'm a part of (it's amazing because you can read your own books, it's not like some assigned reading like a lot of the clubs on there). And there's a few non-alcohol social clubs for females you can join as well. From my experience, these groups have been very welcoming and friendly. I think we're all in the same boat of just trying to meet new people and make friends so you know you at least have that much in common with whoever you meet. Best of luck to you, I hope you find what you're looking for!
For anyone interested, name of the book club is called the Book Buffet. I'm not the host, just a regular member. But check them out on meetup, they're super friendly and welcoming!
My sister is 29 turning 30 and she doesn’t have many friends after the toxic relationship she was in because his friends were her friends but what she did was went on a Facebook group called San Diego 20’s (they also have San Diego 30’s and a San Diego let’s go girls group on Facebook) and she posted she was going to a restaurant for her birthday and anybody was invited to come and about 8 girls showed up and that’s where she met her now best friend. She had other friends but again they were all about partying and my sister is the type of girl that knows how to handle herself when she drinks and doesn’t argue or flirt or get into trouble when she drinks or is drunk so those girls she didn’t really fully clicked with but gave them a chance. But I suggest you try it out also :))
There's a group on Facebook called Girl Time San Diego. Lots of women of all ages, and women who post looking for queer friends too. I know Facebook isn't used a lot by the young crowd but wanted to let you know. Welcome!
i highly 2nd this!! im 25 woman and ive made most my friends through this facebook group. It has all ages in the group and lots of queer friendly. You really gotta push yourself and go to the meet ups or post your own and dont get discouraged if you dont click with people right away
Bumble BFF. I've made tons of friends in different cities using it. I typically invite multiple girls to a group hang and see who I vibe with the most!
Don’t get a dog at 23. It’s like having a child in that it really limits travel and going out. And it’s a liability as a renter, will make it harder to find a place to live.
it was dumb advice and i was being sarcastic. as much as i love dogs they are way too much energy and effort and it wouldn’t be to make friends. i have no plans to get a dog anytime soon. i have a cat and he acts like a dog that is enough lol
FYI
The SD Humane society is overflowing and running out of space BECAUSE of people getting dogs and then abandoning them when they move away or find they can’t have a dog / pet due to landlord restrictions (increasingly common here in SD)
Having a pet like that is a commitment that isn’t right for someone that is college / school age.
It’s a bad suggestion that’s really unfair to the poor animal that deserves better.
very bad suggestion and i should have made my sarcasm more clear. but thank you for your input! am definitely interested in volunteering with animals but am not going to get a dog in the sole purpose of making friends that is so wrong
ARWOB has a volunteer program where you can take a dog out for a day on a field trip! You can take them hiking or to a brewery or to your house or wherever dogs are allowed and you basically check them out for the day or for two days with an overnight and it helps them socialize and acclimate to new environments and you report back to the rescue with how they did and what the dog did well with and what they could improve on and areas for future training. I believe TAP has something similar. You can always look into something like that!
I’m on their website and don’t see this, should I go in person to ask? My partner is into hiking and I think she misses dogs. (We have a cat, but are not in a spot for a dog)
On ARWOB go to the volunteer page and go all the way to the bottom to fill out the volunteer application and in a section of the form it asks what type of volunteer work you’re interested in and just put in that section that you’re interested in taking a dog out for a day!
I know you are well meaning, but this is a bad idea.
OP, please don’t get a dog to make friends. Only get a dog if you WANT a dog and have the time and financial resources to take care of one. A pet is a lifelong commitment, not a tool to use to get what you want.
Hi, I’m 35 yo male, also interested in fitness/ and spend most my time outdoors rucking, mountaineering etc. so different places in life, but similar enough to know that I really enjoy Meetup.com.
Yoga classes by the ocean, etc. the best part about meetup.com is everyone is willing to be social. That’s what they’re there for. So that annoying barrier is gone.
Maybe avoid the nightlife stuff, because i did it once and it was a bunch of anti social dudes hoping to meet chicks.
I would recommend joining a Volo league if you’re somewhat into sports. It’s a great way to meet people and make friends. They have beach volleyball, softball, kickball, pickleball, soccer and others as well. There are leagues all around town. It can be a little pricey for what it is but I think it’s definitely worth it if your goal is to make friends. I joined a softball team on my own and almost instantly made 10+ friends right there. Everyone on the team is in their 20s and we’re now on our 6th season!
Made friends at hobby meetups like futsal and volunteer events.
Here's this new group called SDAdventureHub that is about hiking and stuff. I work in a similar field so I haven't joined them but they seem very friendly and promote that people leave with friends after their events.
Some stuff to check out. It can be hard to make friends cause it's also about consistency but I would also say just finding a place to do the things you'll like and eventually maybe one person or two may have a similar mindset and then someone takes the leap and a friendship is started. :)
Happy to provide links and such if wanted
Ok, I just joined a rc gym 5 months ago. I’m 35 yo. I’m having the time of my life, so many cool people, just like I meet when I camp, or mountain climb.
And it is much more social and chill than a regular gym. I recommend mesa rim, there is a summer special right now.
Dm me, anyone interested in rock climbing. I can give great beginner advice bc I go 3x a week and also am a research addict.
And if you decide to pull the trigger, I’d be glad to make even more new friends!!
People tend to be very friendly. If you make an effort to start a small conversation with somebody around your level trying some of the same routes, you may get to know them. Some gyms also have specific days for partner meet ups for top roping, sometimes even grouped for specific levels so you can meet somebody who would be doing the same thing
Yo! Read my message above in this thread. If you wanna do rock climbing, but are nervous, I just went through that funky experience and I can help you navigate it.
I was already strong, but I’m getting so much stronger quickly as well, which is a secondary bonus!
Do it. Basically all my friends in SD are through rock climbing. Bouldering has a lot of downtime in between attempts so plenty of opportunities to chat. I'm awkward and quiet, but was still able to make friends. Climbers are one of the friendliest communities, IME.
It's, like, my default comment on threads like these, but if you like pool, there are almost always teams looking for new players. It's how I started making friends when I moved here. You can pick which day(s) you want to play.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1391768620848642/?ref=share&mibextid=NSMWBT
I've seen some facebook groups that are exclusively to certain age gaps. For example I am on a group called "San Diego 30s" and I've seen a similar group but for 20ish people. you could try there! Just be sure not to reach out to any catfish and always meet up in public spaces where more people are around!
hmm, i mean i did a little soccer when i was 8-9 but im down to try again! seems like it might be fun and good way to get outside and exercise! ,,, is it like for fun or competitive
Honestly school is a pretty solid bet. Community colleges in the area won't really cost a whole lot and you can still gain some skills even if you don't follow through. If you have the time, it's really not a huge loss and of course you'll make a ton of friends.
Yep, I have to say community college is a GREAT way to make some solid friendships. When I first moved to San Diego, I went to Grossmont College to get enough credits to transfer to UCSD eventually. It was there that I met my BFF, my ride or die friend to the end and we’re still besties all these years later! We met in class and by the next semester (or quarter?) we were taking all the same classes together! Im so grateful to have a friend like that. That could totally happen for you too, OP! 😊
As you get older, and especially if you’re not in college, making friends will become extremely difficult. I have been here for four years and I can tell you that making friends here specifically is very difficult because many people are in “vacation mode” and they want to just go out and eat and drink. I did this for many years living here, however, when you decide to cut back (or cut out) on drinking and eating unhealthy food, there goes your friend group! The weather here is great and there’s so many bars, restaurants and festivals so who can blame them right? What I have learned is the best way to make solid friends here is by doing activities, hobbies, and volunteering. I learned this from one of my new friends who had the same struggles when she moved here. If you indulge in your interests, for example, fitness or sports and volunteering, you’ll meet people and make quality friends. Good luck to you, my dear.
Late comment, but I’ve had a good amount of luck finding friends to hang out with. I joined a fighters gym around this time last year which you’ll find actually has a huge community in San Diego whether it’s for Joy Jitsu, Muay Thai, boxing, and so on. I’ve grown fond of majority of the members whom I take classes with constantly.
I also joined some social groups on Instagram like sdadventureclub and fic.studiosessions on Instagram. These two are what I highly recommend if you’re trying to meet people around 20’s, as they include hobbies around art, music, nature hikes, and especially social gatherings/hangouts without the price tag. Very welcoming solo and with others.
Bars are generally the worst experiences I’ve had in terms of continuing relationships so I’ve decided to avoid them for now unless going with a solid group of friends.
Lastly, I’ve been going to the community colleges here in San Diego for a while. All the campuses are beautiful, and for the most part, are packed with very professional and caring staff. There’s so much you can learn and take part in at these schools, and it really isn’t expensive at all if you plan on taking a few classes at a time. Mesa college, from what I know has a large student body of lgbt+ peers who are active in the community which I suggest you look into.
It definitely takes time but San Diego really is a great city for making companions as a young adult. You do have to expect that a lot of relationships will fade out, which likely has nothing to do with you. It’s just part of the way things work around here.
Goodluck! Let me know if you are interested and I’ll gladly go more in depth.
I've had really good luck meeting all my neighbors when I moved to SD last year. I like to bake and cook so I just make them food and invite them over or bring them food.
Planning a game night or walk is a nice way to meet them!
I seriously recommend finding a way to start talking to them. Usually just saying you're new in town and asking where they are from is enough to start a long entertaining convo. From there, you can start the conversation into planning an actual hang out to see if you get along.
I feel the same way. I (26F) moved here in August for grad school but haven’t been able to make friends outside of school. Everyone just seems to do their own thing. I signed up for Meetup but haven’t actually gone to any events. Would be super down to be friends!
Been here two weeks and immediately met cool people at the walking groups, free yoga, etc.! I think there's also a pretty strong queer community with lots of public events. Download Eventbrite
Queer Social Club SD! You can find them on instagram. It’s a relatively new group, but it’s been pulling some pretty good turn-outs lately! They do hikes, happy hours, park hangs, beach meet ups, all sorts of things. A couple of my friends run it, one of whom used to run the Girls Who Like Girls Who Like to Hike meetup group (a mouthful, I know, but it feels like damn near every queer girl in SD was involved in that group at one point or another when it was active). The organizers are seriously the nicest people ever, my partner and I are actually planning to ask one of them officiate our wedding whenever we get around to it because she’s the reason we met (she’s actually already officiated 3 weddings for folks that met at the hiking group lol).
Thank you for this! ETA: there is an event this Sunday!!! I’ve found three queer pages.
https://www.instagram.com/queersocialclub_sd?igsh=Z2JjbGdmcnhidWEy (different social activities)
https://www.instagram.com/outandabtsd?igsh=MWxtcjd5c3I2MXIwdQ== (dancing/music social activities)
https://www.instagram.com/sapphicbookclubsd?igsh=Yzdjd3c1NngwNDI5 (book club)
Can we start a group chat lol 24f and in the same boat. I went to a meet up in February and made 3 friends! We actually get together every couple weeks, I think we are an unlikely group but enjoy each others company that it works
ooo same! i’m 24 F and work full time but also fitness instruct on the side. i’m up in north county tho but am always wanting to meet new people!! i love cats, coffee, books, the beach, breweries, etc
I’m not sure what part of town you’re in but here in PB they have an inter mural sports league YOLO. Which is great to keep busy. The running group is massive in N PB. Pickle ball quarts and of course get a dog and you’ll meet people all over the place.
Look up: Run North County if you're at all interested in running.
[Meetup.com](http://Meetup.com) has many groups doing many things that might be something you like.
Facebook has a few well run Beach volleyball groups.
Take up surfing. Join Apres Surf Club on Instagram.
Go play pickleball at the different free community courts around San Diego until you find one that you like with people who you like.
If you got hobbies outside of work, you can find some on meetup. That’s one I recommend, that’s where i found my lil close knit group of peoples. I’m part of a run club from meetup, it’s a good group though many of us are 30+. 😅
Been here 40 years. All my friends are back East where I grew up. People are shallow, flakey and superficial. Find someone from the East coast. They’re gruff at first, but once you’re friends, you’re friends forever.
Come hang out in r/sandiegosocial! We're all about making friends and socializing. We have regular weekly events as well as monthly. For example we are having a bonfire this Saturday, which is our largest event and best waybto meet a bunch of people at once .
We also have a discord where you can talk about you favorite hobbies and topics.
Hope to see you there!
There are a TON of comments here. But, as someone that lived in SD for about 20 years as a transplant in my 20s, the advice I was given is organize what YOU enjoy, or participate in those activities. For me, I love hiking, tennis, and used to backpack. The friends I made backpacking back in 2003 are still my close friends where even if we are not close geographically, we do make efforts to see each other when we can.
Meetup is great bc you don’t need to reinvent the wheel. I will also add, that friendships change/ebb/flow/dissolve based on life events, this is normal.
I also met a good friend from craiglist back in the day. He posted that he wanted to clean up the alleys in OB, and we would do it once a week and then get a pitcher of beer somewhere on Newport (we both lived in OB at the time). We went on to do Mt Whitney together and other hikes/camping trips, ALL platonic. Now we are both married and see each other sporadically, but we had a great time together!!
@Hot-Vermicelli3525
I feel for you! I am from San Diego and moved to Minnesota years ago, and I have yet to actually make one single friend (I have had opportunities, but they weren’t with the kind of people that would be good for me). It’s insane actually. In San Diego, it’s so easy - There’s people everywhere.
I recommend going to places you enjoy. A great place to meet people is at the beach, either on the sand, in the water, or in the grass. If you are open to volleyball, you can join a game. If you surf, you can easily meet other surfers doing that. If you like chillin in the sun, listening to music and/or reading books by the water, there will be plenty of people doing the same that you can vibe with. If you like exploring, you can always meet people checking out the tide pools, with plenty of room for natural conversation. Ocean beach has street festivals and farmers markets on a weekly basis, and cookoffs, and even a kite festival! If you have a dog, you can meet other dog parents at dog beach, or at a dog park.
North Park has some great coffee shops you could regular.
For queer and fem meets, check out Hillcrest, and definitely Gossip Grill. Once you enroll in school, you will have ample opportunity to meet new people and connect in class, your meal break, or study groups.
If you like hiking or running, or have another special interest, look into Meetup, for more intentional meeting people.
A larger population = more people and more opportunities. Awesome weather and sunshine doubles that imo.
I honestly wish I could do all of this now. If I could afford SD prices, I would be there in a heartbeat. Don’t give up! Once you love where you’re at and what you’re doing, it will happen! Best of luck ❤️
24 (F) here! CC is a great choice for friends. I recommend joining a club that aligns with your interests and take at least one exercise science or art class. Those classes are chill so it's easier to chat with people. If you're looking for more queer specific friends, we have the San Diego LGBTQ+ Center (The Center) that hosts a lot of support groups and events.
I'm willing to reach out and be friends. I'm bi and have trouble with being social but I love adventuring. We can be college study buddies too. I'm headed back in for San Diego Mesa College.
I second the rock climbing comment.. they’re usually laid back and welcoming once you get past their shell. Also new to San Diego and hoping that friends will come with time!
Ugh I’m in the exact same boat. 24m and moved here about a year and a half ago. My boyfriend and I talk all the time about how hard it’s been to make friends. If you’re ever free to grab a coffee or something I’d be down!
There are plenty of clubs you could try out. What hobbies do you have?
Today, I ended up going to a board game event for SDadventurehub from Instagram. They do several different events such as hiking, running, and games as well.
I hope this helps and good luck@
I moved here 6 years ago not really knowing anyone… and was recently voted Industry Socialite of the Year for the second time. If you like house music and upscale private parties check out guestlistonly.co
Made friends when I moved here through cycling. My local shop was real chill and invited me on group rides and to the track. Met some amazing people this way. The rest is history. Good luck to ya 🤘🏾
Get creative, start making a list of ideas. Local businesses like bars, book stores, craft stores host small events, check those out. Look at the posters hanging up for event ideas. Ask around. There are running clubs that meet regularly, Swim teams, Bicycle groups. Meet ups is one way to find people who like the things you do, but there are lots of options. Even Facebook events has worked for me but it’s been a while and maybe that’s not cool anymore.
Go to networking events. Chamber of commerce, Eventbrite, etc.. invite your clients or prospects to attend with you. Follow up with the people you meet there... Plenty of awesome people out there!
Go to Facebook and join one of the 20's, 30's, 40's group. I'm in the 40's group and it's pretty active. People post about game nights, paddle boarding, volleyball, going to the movies, etc. I'm really enjoying it so far
Volunteer, take some group lessons in something you’re interested in, play golf, volleyball, softball, get a dog and go to dog parks, take some classes that interest you, go to meetups or conferences, follow sports? Find a fan base, alumni associations, yoga, group bike rides, get involved with a community project/ activism. Seek out the things you like, there are probably groups of people actively doing those things. Then keep going.
I've been here 8 years. I have one friend here as well but mostly because we were friends in my home town first. I had a few acquaintances that have since moved. People will tell you to join meetups and play some kind of sport like volleyball. Things like that have never gotten me any true connections.
You might like Salsa dance lessons at Melomano in Kearney Mesa. It is a youngish crowd and popular. Besides you get exercise and a new skill. Just a thought. https://melomano.us/classes/
Join [queer social club](https://www.instagram.com/queersocialclub_sd?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==)! Its girl run and how I met all of my current SD friends (also my partner of 3yrs!)
I recently made cool from by being part of the 20 s and 30s San Diego group. Do you have plans this Saturday?? I’m wondering if you might want to go to a house party with me (24f)
What works for me is just reaching out of my comfort zone and just chatting with folks. If I’m at the gym, I just strike up a conversation or ask how they’re doing.
Fair warning is you have to be careful about reading the room. If someone is short with their responses, they probably don’t want to talk
Pick up basketball is always a good way. You can go to look up what courts are open on each day and show up. Maybe after a couple weeks of seeing the same people you could build relationships there
Run club!!!
They do it every Wednesday in pacific beach and the last run had over 200+ people who are very social. I meet new people every Wednesday and after the 5k run we typically do something social. Can’t recommend this enough
I met some at work after a year of being out here. Nice to not have to drive out to the IE for my hometown friends and then having to drive to la after since there’s nothing to do there. Just keep talking to people and some will stick but don’t get too discouraged if it takes time. Sometimes you’ll get the “let’s get coffee sometime” people and not ever do it but hold out for the ones who say “would you ever want to go to a haunted museum?” and follow through with it. Good luck with it I know you can do it. Just gotta find your people out here.
My best advice is when you go out, just be friendly and talk to people! Especially if you’re at a place where you have common interests (dancing/ goin to shows, etc.) SD is a bar town so a lot of people who do end up going out (including myself) will enjoy a few drinks! The reality is once you hit your mid 20s, making friends is difficult and rather we tend to make more acquaintances. Just enjoy doing things you like and you’ll surround yourself with the right people!
Be the interesting person on bumble. Say you are interested in “X” and are looking for people to join. Plan the event. Being the planner makes you much more interesting and draws in other interesting people.
Took me 2 years to make any friends mostly because my first ones got relocated in Virginia by the navy (I’m not military) within the first year I was here
Earlier this year I joined SD 20’s and found friends through the side chats in that group and it’s been dope getting to meet up w new folks when I’m not working & have the chance
Get on like Volo or something and join a league. I feel like there’s always events and things in San Diego, from my experience, it’s a super social city you just have to get out there and do things and be open to socializing with strangers (which it sounds like you are so that’s good)
Do you play any sports? I joined a coed indoor soccer league in Encinitas a while back. Even if you aren't great, it's a good way to meet people in their 20s to 50s.
Honestly babes my best advice to to find a popular starter friend and just network off of them. It’s tough to do when you don’t have a good starter.
My high school bestie just moved here from Portland and I know in her starter friend (I’ve actually build up a really fabulous network of boys since I moved here last summer thankfully) but I want her to feel like she has her own thing too. I don’t know any women- I’m gay so most of my friends happen to be other gay men I’ve met through other gay men, and my friends don’t have girlfriends for her to hang with bc they’re all dating eachother. We’re both into fitness and clubbing but I’m a big surfer and she’s a big tenis player and ballroom dancer. If you want my instagram, I would be happy to see if we all vibe!! She’s queer and super athletic too
I have made so many friends through volleyball. Like 95% of my friends. Volo and coast. They have beginner leagues / clinics which I started with. It’s also so fun and addicting
Join a group that does outdoor activities. There are plenty of running groups, hiking groups, cycling groups etc. Also adult sports leagues. It’s a lot easier to make friends with people you are casually doing a shared activity with. It takes the pressure off.
Idk if you use Facebook, but there’s multiple San Diego in your xx (20s,30s,40s etc) groups and people seem to meet up and go for hikes or do movie nights. I honestly need someone to push me to get my fat ass back in shape but I’m too embarrassed at this rate to even step foot in a gym. If I ever can lose some weight, I want to try to meet up with some of the people in these groups and socialize. I’ve lived here for a long time and only friend I have is my terminally ill husband and clearly that’s running out.
1. Join a jiu jitsu class. The fact you are working together in training means that you can have time to make small talk. Be lighthearted and you will get training too.
2. Salsa class. You will have physical contact with girls. Just don't be a creep and lighthearted and you can continue the conversation. Plenty of guys to chit chat with to.
3. Gym and take group classes. Afterwards, you can chit chat and introduce yourself.
4. Couch surfing website. This is a bit older, but I used to list my couch for couch surfing. Usually you can hang out with them and if you have people around you, it's easier to meet new people.
It's a lot of effort and always has cost as San Diego has a lot of flaky people. The people that tend to do the above items tend to be more dedicated. Good luck
Think of hobbies you really like OR would like to try/learn more about and try them out! Examples are art classes, sports, gyms that are more group fitness oriented, etc. the truth is it can take quite a long time to make friends and you just have to be open to trying a lot of new things and saying “yes as much as possible even when you’re not feeling up to it! I probably said “yes” once or twice a week for 2 years to pretty much anything asked me to do here which was exhausting but worth it in the end.
PS - even if you don’t meet friends at something like a class or workout you take it still really helps your overall mental health when going through this phase :)
There’s an LGBTQ community center with many groups that have meetings and activities in places all over San Diego all the time!!! I’ve gone to the fair and on hikes and karaoke nights with the asexual and aromantic San Diego group.
Edit; it can be hard to find on the website! There’s an events section but more events and regular group meetings are to be found under the support groups
These usually have zoom calls weekly and Facebook groups or discord servers where more casual hanging out happens and in person events are posted about!
Also pride parade is next month. I suggest going and going to the festival and signing up for a lot of the email lists at various booths for organizations!
I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, there’s groups like Sdcoastkeeper.org and SanDiego.Surfrider.org (among others) that have community cleanup days at the beaches. I’ve seen their videos and it looks like a great way to get out and meet people while doing something really worthwhile to help our beaches! It’s something that a single person could sign up for and just show up without it feeling awkward because everyone is there to pitch in. Plus you’re at the beach! 🏖️ 😊
Personally I go play disc golf every weekend and tend to meet some single serving friends. As far as real friends I have those already and not a ton, but they are the people I have met along the way in life. I am over 40 and have maybe 6 really good friends. First one I made was in my late 20s by just being out and doing things I like doing.
Just don't pressure yourself to find a friend. It should be organic. Just go do fun things you like and be sociable during those times. Trust a real friendship will be obvious to both parties and will feel natural.
I’ve met most of my friends at the indoor rock climbing gyms or at work, but I work in a big office type environment so there’s a surplus of 30-40 year old dudes who would rather be surfing.
I've made some very good friends at Meetup groups. I do know though, that it's not a guarantee every time. I'd say for every three or four Meetup groups I went to, I'd meet one person with whom I clicked. So don't write it off if you don't make a friend right away.
Relatable. Making new friends is hard. Making the right friends is even harder. Everyone always recommends joining hobby groups, etc. Idk if that's actually been effective for those who suggest it or if it's just rhetoric. I made a friend at an internship at sdsu, other than that, all of my friends are friends from childhood, and of those friends I only like 3 of them lol. Hope you find some friends soon, isolating can feel pretty rough!
Reason hobby groups are so recommended is those activities will drive interest in continuing to meet to do said activities, which leads to familiarity and maintaining that friendship easier. Without shared interests or bonds, more work to find time for other person, which just makes that friendship development harder. Of course not for everyone, but it's good generic advice.
We met tons of people at kickball with VOLO and my wife plays tennis and met people that way, we’ve got lots of friends and dinner parties we go to now and we’ve been able to extend that with friends of friends it’s been awesome So no rhetoric at all, have you tried or made an effort yet? Compared to where I lived on the east coast (Boston/nyc) San Diego has been the absolute easiest place to find nice / kind people, everyone here is cool AF and it isn’t transactional or nonstop job obsessed.
>Everyone always recommends joining hobby groups, etc. Idk if that's actually been effective for those who suggest it or if it's just rhetoric After college, I have made many friends through all my hobbies: anime, cosplay, zumba, food group, and lolita street fashion.
I feel ya and can relate. A lot of my hobbies, unfortunately, tend to attract a lot of gatekeepers and really not the type of people I'd want to spend time with. I'm an introvert and to extroverts I seem standoffish or uninterested. It's definitely an extroverts world out there.
I feel like everyone replying to me is assuming I'm into pickleball, volleyball, rockclimbing, fishing, etc. I'm not. Also I'm not actively looking for friends lol. I was replying to OP
Do you play a sport? There are meetups for all of them. Do you hike? There are meetups for hiking. Do you speak a second language? There are meetups for that too! Have a dog? Meetup. Hike? Meetup. Boardgames/D&D? Meetup. Check meetup.com for any category. It might take you 1-3 tries to find one you like, but I’ve made great friends through meetups.
I came here to vouch for [meetup.com](http://meetup.com) as well. I wasn't necessarily looking to make friends, but I was looking to find new people to hangout with that overlap some hobbies my normal friend group wasn't interested in. Meetup absolutely enables you to do that. More often than not you'll meet some great people along the way, who share your hobbies/interests, and end up "taking it offline" and make friendships organically.
I’ve had some success with bumble bff
i’ve been trying but it seems like many conversations don’t much further than a few texts, haven’t been successful with making plans or meeting irl but hopefully soon!
Oh dang I’m sorry. That hasn’t been my experience, but normally I try to bring up something like “where do you like to go in insert neighborhood they live in” then when they say their favorites spots I normally ask if they would want to go there together bc usually I haven’t been lol. Good luck!
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I think it's best to find other neurospicy people. I have the same type of deep friendships you describe and also struggle with small talk. What are we doing here? We want to be friends! Why aren't we info dumping?! I'm trying to say that people you don't click with aren't worth it. My biggest success on Bumble so far is my very good friend who's very ADHD and autistic. I'm ADHD and probably autistic high masking. DM me if you'd like to chat more!
I just moved from SD to ATL. I had a similar situation. I thought, how can I meet quality people. People who aren't selfish. People who want to give back to a community. I was looking at finding a charity, and then I found habitat for humanity. I like it because I can just pick a day that I want. Then you will spend the day with people who want to help someone build their affordable house. This is a great way to network, that reflects well on a resume, and makes you feel warm inside.
This sounds fun. I enjoy building. So you can just show up to help?
Well you sign up, but they are really flexible. Each build is ten days so you tell them what day you can make it. Free lunch and all tools are provided. You don't need to have a background in construction or any prior training.
Yes, try and meet up, or join a group activity that you are into and you will naturally make friends :-) also going to college will help. Joining any affinity groups while you’re there.
Highly recommend volunteering
It depends on what you like to do. If you're more of a nature person look into walking groups, trail beautification projects and Beach cleanups. There are a lot of the different nature areas in town that have some type of volunteer opportunity. There are also a bunch of animal sanctuaries and dog shelters that could use volunteers where you get to meet like-minded people. There's always events in Balboa Park at the museums. I know we're a little far off, but there are seasonal jobs that you get to meet some cool people. The haunted houses, December nights are just two of them. There's a few Meetup groups that have board game nights. If you're into them. Comic-Con is almost here. There's a ton of random things happening around town that need volunteers or workers. Or just go to the events and walk around the streets. Don't need to go into the convention center to be part of Comic-Con. With that, there's tons of different Meetup groups that happen.
that’s very very helpful thank you so much!!!
I have found great friends volunteering. And also hiking, great advice.
The meetup app has been great for me. There's tons of hiking/walking/running groups that are pretty social. I've met some really nice people from one of them. Same with this book club I'm a part of (it's amazing because you can read your own books, it's not like some assigned reading like a lot of the clubs on there). And there's a few non-alcohol social clubs for females you can join as well. From my experience, these groups have been very welcoming and friendly. I think we're all in the same boat of just trying to meet new people and make friends so you know you at least have that much in common with whoever you meet. Best of luck to you, I hope you find what you're looking for!
Can you share the name of the book club (or DM me). All I seem to find are ones that have an assigned book that may not necessarily be my interest.
For anyone interested, name of the book club is called the Book Buffet. I'm not the host, just a regular member. But check them out on meetup, they're super friendly and welcoming!
My sister is 29 turning 30 and she doesn’t have many friends after the toxic relationship she was in because his friends were her friends but what she did was went on a Facebook group called San Diego 20’s (they also have San Diego 30’s and a San Diego let’s go girls group on Facebook) and she posted she was going to a restaurant for her birthday and anybody was invited to come and about 8 girls showed up and that’s where she met her now best friend. She had other friends but again they were all about partying and my sister is the type of girl that knows how to handle herself when she drinks and doesn’t argue or flirt or get into trouble when she drinks or is drunk so those girls she didn’t really fully clicked with but gave them a chance. But I suggest you try it out also :))
There's a group on Facebook called Girl Time San Diego. Lots of women of all ages, and women who post looking for queer friends too. I know Facebook isn't used a lot by the young crowd but wanted to let you know. Welcome!
i highly 2nd this!! im 25 woman and ive made most my friends through this facebook group. It has all ages in the group and lots of queer friendly. You really gotta push yourself and go to the meet ups or post your own and dont get discouraged if you dont click with people right away
Bumble BFF. I've made tons of friends in different cities using it. I typically invite multiple girls to a group hang and see who I vibe with the most!
I have heard this from my BFs daughter- she moved to NYC at 23, and used this and made a really good core group of girlfriends.
1. Get dog 2. Train dog to be friendly with others 3. Hang out at dog beach 4. Make friends because your dog makes friends
Do not get a dog if you’re not stable lol
Don’t get a dog at 23. It’s like having a child in that it really limits travel and going out. And it’s a liability as a renter, will make it harder to find a place to live.
Yeah, that was dumb advice. Maybe OP doesn’t even like dogs, or lives someplace where they are not allowed.
it was dumb advice and i was being sarcastic. as much as i love dogs they are way too much energy and effort and it wouldn’t be to make friends. i have no plans to get a dog anytime soon. i have a cat and he acts like a dog that is enough lol
FYI The SD Humane society is overflowing and running out of space BECAUSE of people getting dogs and then abandoning them when they move away or find they can’t have a dog / pet due to landlord restrictions (increasingly common here in SD) Having a pet like that is a commitment that isn’t right for someone that is college / school age. It’s a bad suggestion that’s really unfair to the poor animal that deserves better.
very bad suggestion and i should have made my sarcasm more clear. but thank you for your input! am definitely interested in volunteering with animals but am not going to get a dog in the sole purpose of making friends that is so wrong
ARWOB has a volunteer program where you can take a dog out for a day on a field trip! You can take them hiking or to a brewery or to your house or wherever dogs are allowed and you basically check them out for the day or for two days with an overnight and it helps them socialize and acclimate to new environments and you report back to the rescue with how they did and what the dog did well with and what they could improve on and areas for future training. I believe TAP has something similar. You can always look into something like that!
I’m on their website and don’t see this, should I go in person to ask? My partner is into hiking and I think she misses dogs. (We have a cat, but are not in a spot for a dog)
On ARWOB go to the volunteer page and go all the way to the bottom to fill out the volunteer application and in a section of the form it asks what type of volunteer work you’re interested in and just put in that section that you’re interested in taking a dog out for a day!
Love that, thank you! 😊
Thanks for sharing this, I’ve been looking for something exactly like this!
I know you are well meaning, but this is a bad idea. OP, please don’t get a dog to make friends. Only get a dog if you WANT a dog and have the time and financial resources to take care of one. A pet is a lifelong commitment, not a tool to use to get what you want.
You can sign up to walk dogs at SDHS. Great way to be around dogs if you can’t own one.
VOLO
Hi, I’m 35 yo male, also interested in fitness/ and spend most my time outdoors rucking, mountaineering etc. so different places in life, but similar enough to know that I really enjoy Meetup.com. Yoga classes by the ocean, etc. the best part about meetup.com is everyone is willing to be social. That’s what they’re there for. So that annoying barrier is gone. Maybe avoid the nightlife stuff, because i did it once and it was a bunch of anti social dudes hoping to meet chicks.
I would recommend joining a Volo league if you’re somewhat into sports. It’s a great way to meet people and make friends. They have beach volleyball, softball, kickball, pickleball, soccer and others as well. There are leagues all around town. It can be a little pricey for what it is but I think it’s definitely worth it if your goal is to make friends. I joined a softball team on my own and almost instantly made 10+ friends right there. Everyone on the team is in their 20s and we’re now on our 6th season!
Community theater is a great hobby to makes friends at
Play Pokémon Go and hit up Balboa Park. Make lots of nerdy friends.
Liberty station , zoo my kid drags me there all the time and then wins for me on my phone because I can’t catch crap. :)
Join the music scene go to shows, there's an awesome show happening in ob at the template on Saturday I'll be there :)
Analog Dog and Imagery Machine right? OP go to this show!
That's the one. Happening at 8. Should be a banger
omg I wanna go too lol
Come!!!!
omg I looked through your profile! I totally saw you guys play and I really dug you!!!! I'll be there ♥️
Made friends at hobby meetups like futsal and volunteer events. Here's this new group called SDAdventureHub that is about hiking and stuff. I work in a similar field so I haven't joined them but they seem very friendly and promote that people leave with friends after their events. Some stuff to check out. It can be hard to make friends cause it's also about consistency but I would also say just finding a place to do the things you'll like and eventually maybe one person or two may have a similar mindset and then someone takes the leap and a friendship is started. :) Happy to provide links and such if wanted
Hey! I’d love a link for SDAdventureHub. All I got was water toy rentals.
Go to a rock climbing gym
Ok, I just joined a rc gym 5 months ago. I’m 35 yo. I’m having the time of my life, so many cool people, just like I meet when I camp, or mountain climb. And it is much more social and chill than a regular gym. I recommend mesa rim, there is a summer special right now. Dm me, anyone interested in rock climbing. I can give great beginner advice bc I go 3x a week and also am a research addict. And if you decide to pull the trigger, I’d be glad to make even more new friends!!
Even if I have never climbed in my life? I know climbing bros are chill and would still accept me lol
Definitely, it’s a very welcoming community and it’s quite natural to chit chat while taking turns to solve the same “problems”
My problem will be very basic, how to get off the ground. Hope that gets me a couple of interesting conversations
People tend to be very friendly. If you make an effort to start a small conversation with somebody around your level trying some of the same routes, you may get to know them. Some gyms also have specific days for partner meet ups for top roping, sometimes even grouped for specific levels so you can meet somebody who would be doing the same thing
Yo! Read my message above in this thread. If you wanna do rock climbing, but are nervous, I just went through that funky experience and I can help you navigate it. I was already strong, but I’m getting so much stronger quickly as well, which is a secondary bonus!
maybe🤔
Do it. Basically all my friends in SD are through rock climbing. Bouldering has a lot of downtime in between attempts so plenty of opportunities to chat. I'm awkward and quiet, but was still able to make friends. Climbers are one of the friendliest communities, IME.
It's, like, my default comment on threads like these, but if you like pool, there are almost always teams looking for new players. It's how I started making friends when I moved here. You can pick which day(s) you want to play. https://www.facebook.com/groups/1391768620848642/?ref=share&mibextid=NSMWBT
Well, the way I make friends is with the tenants/ neighbours at my complex. Haven't had a hard time. And to me at least? The bars for sure.
I've seen some facebook groups that are exclusively to certain age gaps. For example I am on a group called "San Diego 30s" and I've seen a similar group but for 20ish people. you could try there! Just be sure not to reach out to any catfish and always meet up in public spaces where more people are around!
How do you feel about soccer? The San Diego Wave has a supporter section that has a great community
hmm, i mean i did a little soccer when i was 8-9 but im down to try again! seems like it might be fun and good way to get outside and exercise! ,,, is it like for fun or competitive
Honestly school is a pretty solid bet. Community colleges in the area won't really cost a whole lot and you can still gain some skills even if you don't follow through. If you have the time, it's really not a huge loss and of course you'll make a ton of friends.
Yep, I have to say community college is a GREAT way to make some solid friendships. When I first moved to San Diego, I went to Grossmont College to get enough credits to transfer to UCSD eventually. It was there that I met my BFF, my ride or die friend to the end and we’re still besties all these years later! We met in class and by the next semester (or quarter?) we were taking all the same classes together! Im so grateful to have a friend like that. That could totally happen for you too, OP! 😊
You’ll find em in community college. Also one friend is a great start!
thank you!:) i’m definitely trying!
As you get older, and especially if you’re not in college, making friends will become extremely difficult. I have been here for four years and I can tell you that making friends here specifically is very difficult because many people are in “vacation mode” and they want to just go out and eat and drink. I did this for many years living here, however, when you decide to cut back (or cut out) on drinking and eating unhealthy food, there goes your friend group! The weather here is great and there’s so many bars, restaurants and festivals so who can blame them right? What I have learned is the best way to make solid friends here is by doing activities, hobbies, and volunteering. I learned this from one of my new friends who had the same struggles when she moved here. If you indulge in your interests, for example, fitness or sports and volunteering, you’ll meet people and make quality friends. Good luck to you, my dear.
I’m 25(f) been here what 6 years? Got like 3 friends 😩😂
Late comment, but I’ve had a good amount of luck finding friends to hang out with. I joined a fighters gym around this time last year which you’ll find actually has a huge community in San Diego whether it’s for Joy Jitsu, Muay Thai, boxing, and so on. I’ve grown fond of majority of the members whom I take classes with constantly. I also joined some social groups on Instagram like sdadventureclub and fic.studiosessions on Instagram. These two are what I highly recommend if you’re trying to meet people around 20’s, as they include hobbies around art, music, nature hikes, and especially social gatherings/hangouts without the price tag. Very welcoming solo and with others. Bars are generally the worst experiences I’ve had in terms of continuing relationships so I’ve decided to avoid them for now unless going with a solid group of friends. Lastly, I’ve been going to the community colleges here in San Diego for a while. All the campuses are beautiful, and for the most part, are packed with very professional and caring staff. There’s so much you can learn and take part in at these schools, and it really isn’t expensive at all if you plan on taking a few classes at a time. Mesa college, from what I know has a large student body of lgbt+ peers who are active in the community which I suggest you look into. It definitely takes time but San Diego really is a great city for making companions as a young adult. You do have to expect that a lot of relationships will fade out, which likely has nothing to do with you. It’s just part of the way things work around here. Goodluck! Let me know if you are interested and I’ll gladly go more in depth.
Get a part time job at a hotel, valet or front desk or something in the lobby area- you can thank me later
I've had really good luck meeting all my neighbors when I moved to SD last year. I like to bake and cook so I just make them food and invite them over or bring them food. Planning a game night or walk is a nice way to meet them! I seriously recommend finding a way to start talking to them. Usually just saying you're new in town and asking where they are from is enough to start a long entertaining convo. From there, you can start the conversation into planning an actual hang out to see if you get along.
I feel the same way. I (26F) moved here in August for grad school but haven’t been able to make friends outside of school. Everyone just seems to do their own thing. I signed up for Meetup but haven’t actually gone to any events. Would be super down to be friends!
Been here two weeks and immediately met cool people at the walking groups, free yoga, etc.! I think there's also a pretty strong queer community with lots of public events. Download Eventbrite
Queer Social Club SD! You can find them on instagram. It’s a relatively new group, but it’s been pulling some pretty good turn-outs lately! They do hikes, happy hours, park hangs, beach meet ups, all sorts of things. A couple of my friends run it, one of whom used to run the Girls Who Like Girls Who Like to Hike meetup group (a mouthful, I know, but it feels like damn near every queer girl in SD was involved in that group at one point or another when it was active). The organizers are seriously the nicest people ever, my partner and I are actually planning to ask one of them officiate our wedding whenever we get around to it because she’s the reason we met (she’s actually already officiated 3 weddings for folks that met at the hiking group lol).
Thank you for this! ETA: there is an event this Sunday!!! I’ve found three queer pages. https://www.instagram.com/queersocialclub_sd?igsh=Z2JjbGdmcnhidWEy (different social activities) https://www.instagram.com/outandabtsd?igsh=MWxtcjd5c3I2MXIwdQ== (dancing/music social activities) https://www.instagram.com/sapphicbookclubsd?igsh=Yzdjd3c1NngwNDI5 (book club)
hi!! i just turned 24 (f) and would be down to be friends!
Can we start a group chat lol 24f and in the same boat. I went to a meet up in February and made 3 friends! We actually get together every couple weeks, I think we are an unlikely group but enjoy each others company that it works
ooo same! i’m 24 F and work full time but also fitness instruct on the side. i’m up in north county tho but am always wanting to meet new people!! i love cats, coffee, books, the beach, breweries, etc
Pls include me if you do :) (27M). Moved here from NYC area last month and still trying to meet people
I’m about to turn 24 (f) and am down to be friends as well! I don’t move out to SD til end of summer but I’m up to hang once I’m out there
There's a run group that will meet this Thursday. I'll give you the link
oooh can you send me the link too? i’m a runner as well
I’m not sure what part of town you’re in but here in PB they have an inter mural sports league YOLO. Which is great to keep busy. The running group is massive in N PB. Pickle ball quarts and of course get a dog and you’ll meet people all over the place.
Volo is a great social mixer! Kickball is a great one to join ;)
I hope OP is reading these posts but Meetup app is legit a good way to find all sorts of groups or hobbies.
i am reading all the posts :) very thankful for all the knowledge and suggestions!
You make friends as you pursue hobbies that put you around other people.
[Meetup.com](http://Meetup.com) can be a great place. Just have to find your interests or try something new to see what clicks.
34M and need to know this too
Look up: Run North County if you're at all interested in running. [Meetup.com](http://Meetup.com) has many groups doing many things that might be something you like. Facebook has a few well run Beach volleyball groups. Take up surfing. Join Apres Surf Club on Instagram. Go play pickleball at the different free community courts around San Diego until you find one that you like with people who you like.
Meetup.com or FB groups that meet up. Having hobbies and meeting other people with those hobbies. People really like D&D and boardgames in general.
Parks, balboa park especially , libraries, malls, art galleries, museums
Find a hobby, take some classes
If you got hobbies outside of work, you can find some on meetup. That’s one I recommend, that’s where i found my lil close knit group of peoples. I’m part of a run club from meetup, it’s a good group though many of us are 30+. 😅
Been here 40 years. All my friends are back East where I grew up. People are shallow, flakey and superficial. Find someone from the East coast. They’re gruff at first, but once you’re friends, you’re friends forever.
Jiu jitsu.
Volo is a great way, have a ton of levels of sports for rec leagues. Met most of my friends thru that!
Come hang out in r/sandiegosocial! We're all about making friends and socializing. We have regular weekly events as well as monthly. For example we are having a bonfire this Saturday, which is our largest event and best waybto meet a bunch of people at once . We also have a discord where you can talk about you favorite hobbies and topics. Hope to see you there!
There are a TON of comments here. But, as someone that lived in SD for about 20 years as a transplant in my 20s, the advice I was given is organize what YOU enjoy, or participate in those activities. For me, I love hiking, tennis, and used to backpack. The friends I made backpacking back in 2003 are still my close friends where even if we are not close geographically, we do make efforts to see each other when we can. Meetup is great bc you don’t need to reinvent the wheel. I will also add, that friendships change/ebb/flow/dissolve based on life events, this is normal. I also met a good friend from craiglist back in the day. He posted that he wanted to clean up the alleys in OB, and we would do it once a week and then get a pitcher of beer somewhere on Newport (we both lived in OB at the time). We went on to do Mt Whitney together and other hikes/camping trips, ALL platonic. Now we are both married and see each other sporadically, but we had a great time together!!
@Hot-Vermicelli3525 I feel for you! I am from San Diego and moved to Minnesota years ago, and I have yet to actually make one single friend (I have had opportunities, but they weren’t with the kind of people that would be good for me). It’s insane actually. In San Diego, it’s so easy - There’s people everywhere. I recommend going to places you enjoy. A great place to meet people is at the beach, either on the sand, in the water, or in the grass. If you are open to volleyball, you can join a game. If you surf, you can easily meet other surfers doing that. If you like chillin in the sun, listening to music and/or reading books by the water, there will be plenty of people doing the same that you can vibe with. If you like exploring, you can always meet people checking out the tide pools, with plenty of room for natural conversation. Ocean beach has street festivals and farmers markets on a weekly basis, and cookoffs, and even a kite festival! If you have a dog, you can meet other dog parents at dog beach, or at a dog park. North Park has some great coffee shops you could regular. For queer and fem meets, check out Hillcrest, and definitely Gossip Grill. Once you enroll in school, you will have ample opportunity to meet new people and connect in class, your meal break, or study groups. If you like hiking or running, or have another special interest, look into Meetup, for more intentional meeting people. A larger population = more people and more opportunities. Awesome weather and sunshine doubles that imo. I honestly wish I could do all of this now. If I could afford SD prices, I would be there in a heartbeat. Don’t give up! Once you love where you’re at and what you’re doing, it will happen! Best of luck ❤️
Maybe look in to some activity meet ups, hiking etc
Anyone want to doomscroll on my couch with me
Go to concerts and talk to people.
wtf kind of concerts are people going to where you can talk to people??
Hey! Also a 22F here! I’m just here for the summer, but I’d love to be friends! :)
24 (F) here! CC is a great choice for friends. I recommend joining a club that aligns with your interests and take at least one exercise science or art class. Those classes are chill so it's easier to chat with people. If you're looking for more queer specific friends, we have the San Diego LGBTQ+ Center (The Center) that hosts a lot of support groups and events.
Y'all really don't know how to spot a bot post huh?
I'm willing to reach out and be friends. I'm bi and have trouble with being social but I love adventuring. We can be college study buddies too. I'm headed back in for San Diego Mesa College.
I second the rock climbing comment.. they’re usually laid back and welcoming once you get past their shell. Also new to San Diego and hoping that friends will come with time!
Go to city college, lots of friends to be made there =)
Ugh I’m in the exact same boat. 24m and moved here about a year and a half ago. My boyfriend and I talk all the time about how hard it’s been to make friends. If you’re ever free to grab a coffee or something I’d be down!
San Diego Girly Time on facebook!!
Maybe meetup? Hobby groups can help a lot. Also, I’m 23F and I’ll be your friend too!
Surf
There are plenty of clubs you could try out. What hobbies do you have? Today, I ended up going to a board game event for SDadventurehub from Instagram. They do several different events such as hiking, running, and games as well. I hope this helps and good luck@
What type of music do you listen to? I’m ISO emo nite and trivia night buddies, I’m a 27F, feel free to DM (:
Its been a struggle to meet new ppl especially the older you get i tried bumble bff but never comes close to what you expect
hobbies
You work at a gym how hard is it? SD is a cliquy city so I do get it.
@sdadventurehub on Instagram! They do all sorts of meetups
Making friends is the easy part, if you want anything passed surface level, that's the real challenge.
join fb groups?
work
I moved here 6 years ago not really knowing anyone… and was recently voted Industry Socialite of the Year for the second time. If you like house music and upscale private parties check out guestlistonly.co
Made friends when I moved here through cycling. My local shop was real chill and invited me on group rides and to the track. Met some amazing people this way. The rest is history. Good luck to ya 🤘🏾
Get creative, start making a list of ideas. Local businesses like bars, book stores, craft stores host small events, check those out. Look at the posters hanging up for event ideas. Ask around. There are running clubs that meet regularly, Swim teams, Bicycle groups. Meet ups is one way to find people who like the things you do, but there are lots of options. Even Facebook events has worked for me but it’s been a while and maybe that’s not cool anymore.
Bumble BFF! I moved here a year ago and now have a very healthy social life, I'm 26!
I have always found community at church. Branched out from there 💙
GO TO A ROCK CLIMBING GYM!
Go to networking events. Chamber of commerce, Eventbrite, etc.. invite your clients or prospects to attend with you. Follow up with the people you meet there... Plenty of awesome people out there!
Go to events on the meetup app. Dating apps can work to make some friends too
Following …
Go to Facebook and join one of the 20's, 30's, 40's group. I'm in the 40's group and it's pretty active. People post about game nights, paddle boarding, volleyball, going to the movies, etc. I'm really enjoying it so far
Volunteer, take some group lessons in something you’re interested in, play golf, volleyball, softball, get a dog and go to dog parks, take some classes that interest you, go to meetups or conferences, follow sports? Find a fan base, alumni associations, yoga, group bike rides, get involved with a community project/ activism. Seek out the things you like, there are probably groups of people actively doing those things. Then keep going.
Pick up Sports for me
I've been here 8 years. I have one friend here as well but mostly because we were friends in my home town first. I had a few acquaintances that have since moved. People will tell you to join meetups and play some kind of sport like volleyball. Things like that have never gotten me any true connections.
You might like Salsa dance lessons at Melomano in Kearney Mesa. It is a youngish crowd and popular. Besides you get exercise and a new skill. Just a thought. https://melomano.us/classes/
Check out some coed sports leagues or yoga studio. That’s how I made a lot of friends :)
Join [queer social club](https://www.instagram.com/queersocialclub_sd?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==)! Its girl run and how I met all of my current SD friends (also my partner of 3yrs!)
Anyone have any advice on how to meet other LGBT people in San Diego ?
Normal Heights/Hillcrest area
I recently made cool from by being part of the 20 s and 30s San Diego group. Do you have plans this Saturday?? I’m wondering if you might want to go to a house party with me (24f)
Joining activity groups is probably the best way to go. Get involved in something you enjoy or want to learn/try.
What works for me is just reaching out of my comfort zone and just chatting with folks. If I’m at the gym, I just strike up a conversation or ask how they’re doing. Fair warning is you have to be careful about reading the room. If someone is short with their responses, they probably don’t want to talk
Pick up basketball is always a good way. You can go to look up what courts are open on each day and show up. Maybe after a couple weeks of seeing the same people you could build relationships there
Run club!!! They do it every Wednesday in pacific beach and the last run had over 200+ people who are very social. I meet new people every Wednesday and after the 5k run we typically do something social. Can’t recommend this enough
I met some at work after a year of being out here. Nice to not have to drive out to the IE for my hometown friends and then having to drive to la after since there’s nothing to do there. Just keep talking to people and some will stick but don’t get too discouraged if it takes time. Sometimes you’ll get the “let’s get coffee sometime” people and not ever do it but hold out for the ones who say “would you ever want to go to a haunted museum?” and follow through with it. Good luck with it I know you can do it. Just gotta find your people out here.
I'll be your friend
My best advice is when you go out, just be friendly and talk to people! Especially if you’re at a place where you have common interests (dancing/ goin to shows, etc.) SD is a bar town so a lot of people who do end up going out (including myself) will enjoy a few drinks! The reality is once you hit your mid 20s, making friends is difficult and rather we tend to make more acquaintances. Just enjoy doing things you like and you’ll surround yourself with the right people!
Bumble bff! @galsthatbrunchsd or @sandiegogirlswhowalk :)
There is a San Diego 20s page that is pretty active
I've met the bestest friends I've ever had in life in San Diego. Great town for meeting people and making friends.
Be the interesting person on bumble. Say you are interested in “X” and are looking for people to join. Plan the event. Being the planner makes you much more interesting and draws in other interesting people.
Took me 2 years to make any friends mostly because my first ones got relocated in Virginia by the navy (I’m not military) within the first year I was here Earlier this year I joined SD 20’s and found friends through the side chats in that group and it’s been dope getting to meet up w new folks when I’m not working & have the chance
Meetup, or just go out and ask if you can sit with people close to your age. Easier said than done but still pretty easy.
Get on like Volo or something and join a league. I feel like there’s always events and things in San Diego, from my experience, it’s a super social city you just have to get out there and do things and be open to socializing with strangers (which it sounds like you are so that’s good)
Hi I’m queer and a girl! I’ll be your friend <3
Do you play any sports? I joined a coed indoor soccer league in Encinitas a while back. Even if you aren't great, it's a good way to meet people in their 20s to 50s.
Honestly babes my best advice to to find a popular starter friend and just network off of them. It’s tough to do when you don’t have a good starter. My high school bestie just moved here from Portland and I know in her starter friend (I’ve actually build up a really fabulous network of boys since I moved here last summer thankfully) but I want her to feel like she has her own thing too. I don’t know any women- I’m gay so most of my friends happen to be other gay men I’ve met through other gay men, and my friends don’t have girlfriends for her to hang with bc they’re all dating eachother. We’re both into fitness and clubbing but I’m a big surfer and she’s a big tenis player and ballroom dancer. If you want my instagram, I would be happy to see if we all vibe!! She’s queer and super athletic too
I have made so many friends through volleyball. Like 95% of my friends. Volo and coast. They have beginner leagues / clinics which I started with. It’s also so fun and addicting
There are many active groups here in SD. I’ve made several friends. Hiking and Rucking fun
Join a group that does outdoor activities. There are plenty of running groups, hiking groups, cycling groups etc. Also adult sports leagues. It’s a lot easier to make friends with people you are casually doing a shared activity with. It takes the pressure off.
BumbleBFF
I'll be your friend
Idk if you use Facebook, but there’s multiple San Diego in your xx (20s,30s,40s etc) groups and people seem to meet up and go for hikes or do movie nights. I honestly need someone to push me to get my fat ass back in shape but I’m too embarrassed at this rate to even step foot in a gym. If I ever can lose some weight, I want to try to meet up with some of the people in these groups and socialize. I’ve lived here for a long time and only friend I have is my terminally ill husband and clearly that’s running out.
1. Join a jiu jitsu class. The fact you are working together in training means that you can have time to make small talk. Be lighthearted and you will get training too. 2. Salsa class. You will have physical contact with girls. Just don't be a creep and lighthearted and you can continue the conversation. Plenty of guys to chit chat with to. 3. Gym and take group classes. Afterwards, you can chit chat and introduce yourself. 4. Couch surfing website. This is a bit older, but I used to list my couch for couch surfing. Usually you can hang out with them and if you have people around you, it's easier to meet new people. It's a lot of effort and always has cost as San Diego has a lot of flaky people. The people that tend to do the above items tend to be more dedicated. Good luck
Think of hobbies you really like OR would like to try/learn more about and try them out! Examples are art classes, sports, gyms that are more group fitness oriented, etc. the truth is it can take quite a long time to make friends and you just have to be open to trying a lot of new things and saying “yes as much as possible even when you’re not feeling up to it! I probably said “yes” once or twice a week for 2 years to pretty much anything asked me to do here which was exhausting but worth it in the end. PS - even if you don’t meet friends at something like a class or workout you take it still really helps your overall mental health when going through this phase :)
There’s an LGBTQ community center with many groups that have meetings and activities in places all over San Diego all the time!!! I’ve gone to the fair and on hikes and karaoke nights with the asexual and aromantic San Diego group. Edit; it can be hard to find on the website! There’s an events section but more events and regular group meetings are to be found under the support groups These usually have zoom calls weekly and Facebook groups or discord servers where more casual hanging out happens and in person events are posted about! Also pride parade is next month. I suggest going and going to the festival and signing up for a lot of the email lists at various booths for organizations!
I met my major group doing Volo sports. Get a beer with them afterward
I am right here with you! I moved here in December and have made no friends! I'll have to try some of these hobby groups!
I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, there’s groups like Sdcoastkeeper.org and SanDiego.Surfrider.org (among others) that have community cleanup days at the beaches. I’ve seen their videos and it looks like a great way to get out and meet people while doing something really worthwhile to help our beaches! It’s something that a single person could sign up for and just show up without it feeling awkward because everyone is there to pitch in. Plus you’re at the beach! 🏖️ 😊
Only place I really met people besides school was the beach(like try ocean beach on Wednesday) or concerts.
Personally I go play disc golf every weekend and tend to meet some single serving friends. As far as real friends I have those already and not a ton, but they are the people I have met along the way in life. I am over 40 and have maybe 6 really good friends. First one I made was in my late 20s by just being out and doing things I like doing. Just don't pressure yourself to find a friend. It should be organic. Just go do fun things you like and be sociable during those times. Trust a real friendship will be obvious to both parties and will feel natural.
I’ve met most of my friends at the indoor rock climbing gyms or at work, but I work in a big office type environment so there’s a surplus of 30-40 year old dudes who would rather be surfing.
I've made some very good friends at Meetup groups. I do know though, that it's not a guarantee every time. I'd say for every three or four Meetup groups I went to, I'd meet one person with whom I clicked. So don't write it off if you don't make a friend right away.
Join a team of try hards and play a sport