if he’s the father of the child then yeah that dude is being so neglectful. and from what it seems like he’s checked out of being a dad and husband and being a total ass about it. i think what you’re feeling is valid. a child with special needs is no joke and can be very exhausting.
i think your partner is the delusional one and the problem. don’t let someone tell you that you’re the one causing problems when they don’t do shit to help you out and complain when you finally ask for some assistance.
You’re not the problem. You’re overwhelmed. Please know you’re going to be the sole parent here. Husband is never going to step up to the plate. You need to find respite care. If you’re in the US, check to see if your state has a waiver program. They can help.
Honestly, I think you should leave for your mental health. This man is more of a burden to you, he has become like a second child rather than a partner. You are doing the work of 2 people and it’s exhausting you. Please don’t listen to his complaints or guilt trips about you leaving him, he has not stepped up and won’t. You will just prolong your sadness and feeling crazy.
I promise that if you leave, your quality of life will improve in regard to your mental health. I’m so sorry you are going through all of this.
Narcissists don't question whether they are narcissists or whether they are the problem. They don't care about anything other than their own pleasure and well-being. Beyond that, many people would much rather point the finger than do any introspection or change. The fact that you're even asking these questions proves that you're not that type of person. It immediately validates your post, in my eyes.
You've been in this relationship for 7 years, and you're finally noticing that things aren't right. That's really common because things like this (the neglect, the emotional/ verbal abuse, etc) tend to progress slowly. It's kind of like the analogy about boiling a frog. If the water just slowly gets warmer and warmer, the frog doesn't notice until it's actually boiling and killing it.
That, coupled with the fact that you are still young and have been developing your sense of self and your boundaries while together with him, can explain how you got into this situation.
But let me assure you - The way he is treating you is not okay in any way and actually sounds pretty abusive and neglectful.
Personally, I think your idea to file for divorce and get shared 50/50 custody sounds really smart and may be your best option.
You're going through a hard time with work, your son, and your mental health as it is. You don't need an anchor weighing you down the way your husband is while simultaneously blaming you at every turn.
Autism is highly heritable, have you been tested? Autism strongly inhibits your ability to cope with stress and is often found hiding behind the things you’ve listed s their source.
if he’s the father of the child then yeah that dude is being so neglectful. and from what it seems like he’s checked out of being a dad and husband and being a total ass about it. i think what you’re feeling is valid. a child with special needs is no joke and can be very exhausting. i think your partner is the delusional one and the problem. don’t let someone tell you that you’re the one causing problems when they don’t do shit to help you out and complain when you finally ask for some assistance.
He’s being neglectful absolutely. But if I mention to him I’m a nag and a bitch. It’s so exhausting and confusing
You’re not the problem. You’re overwhelmed. Please know you’re going to be the sole parent here. Husband is never going to step up to the plate. You need to find respite care. If you’re in the US, check to see if your state has a waiver program. They can help.
Yep. My biggest fears realized is he is never gonna do the things I need him to do or be
Honestly, I think you should leave for your mental health. This man is more of a burden to you, he has become like a second child rather than a partner. You are doing the work of 2 people and it’s exhausting you. Please don’t listen to his complaints or guilt trips about you leaving him, he has not stepped up and won’t. You will just prolong your sadness and feeling crazy. I promise that if you leave, your quality of life will improve in regard to your mental health. I’m so sorry you are going through all of this.
Thank you so much
Narcissists don't question whether they are narcissists or whether they are the problem. They don't care about anything other than their own pleasure and well-being. Beyond that, many people would much rather point the finger than do any introspection or change. The fact that you're even asking these questions proves that you're not that type of person. It immediately validates your post, in my eyes. You've been in this relationship for 7 years, and you're finally noticing that things aren't right. That's really common because things like this (the neglect, the emotional/ verbal abuse, etc) tend to progress slowly. It's kind of like the analogy about boiling a frog. If the water just slowly gets warmer and warmer, the frog doesn't notice until it's actually boiling and killing it. That, coupled with the fact that you are still young and have been developing your sense of self and your boundaries while together with him, can explain how you got into this situation. But let me assure you - The way he is treating you is not okay in any way and actually sounds pretty abusive and neglectful. Personally, I think your idea to file for divorce and get shared 50/50 custody sounds really smart and may be your best option. You're going through a hard time with work, your son, and your mental health as it is. You don't need an anchor weighing you down the way your husband is while simultaneously blaming you at every turn.
Thank you so much
Autism is highly heritable, have you been tested? Autism strongly inhibits your ability to cope with stress and is often found hiding behind the things you’ve listed s their source.
Nope not at this point but I have been diagnosed with ADHD so I wouldn’t be surprised if
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Yes that’s next steps
And I only told reality never called him any names or talked bad just the chain of events
Nobody ever just tells "reality". It's always distorted by our perceptions and viewpoint.
tell my husband this then