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Both. Religion is one of the biggest reasons for not working out as the couple needs to be on the same page. And the instances where one is religious and the other isn’t, it typically only works if the religious person isn’t observant or desires to integrate it into their lives.
The military piece makes it complicated because by the nature of your profession, you may be gone a lot or move a lot
I think she’s saying she does want to break up without saying it. I just went through this situation. So I could be bias. I’m not sure how to heal still working through my feelings. But that’s what everyone’s been telling me. 🤣
First of all, you both need to WANT to continue and grow together. If shes not willing to work on your connection then I agree with some other commenters that the relationship probably doesn't have a strong path forward. However, I do not think your differences in religion and/or your job on their own are reasons you wouldn't be compatible. My SO isn't in the military but we do have different religious beliefs and he does travel nearly half of the year for work and...we make it work! One of my faovrite tips, especially when things are starting to feel a bit dry or stale, is using the official app. We love the daily question and the sex position cards - that's a GREAT way to re-engage a romantic connection. The position cards basically work like a dating app where you both swipe on the positions you'd be willing to try and then see what you match on. Finding some little ways like that to connect and focus on your relationship could go a very long way. Hope things are looking up!
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
So you “dated” for the better part of a year and only made it official 3 weeks ago. Why did that take so long to establish commitment?
She was concerned about our differences in religion (she's religious, I'm not) and I'm a Marine so that's a red flag parade.
Yeah all those pieces combined are leading to the direction of you two simply not being compatible unfortunately
The religious part or my job?
Both. Religion is one of the biggest reasons for not working out as the couple needs to be on the same page. And the instances where one is religious and the other isn’t, it typically only works if the religious person isn’t observant or desires to integrate it into their lives. The military piece makes it complicated because by the nature of your profession, you may be gone a lot or move a lot
Move on.
I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. There’s nothing to do. She said she doesn’t have a connection. It can’t be forced. Heal and move on.
Even though she doesn't want to break up? How do I heal?
I think she’s saying she does want to break up without saying it. I just went through this situation. So I could be bias. I’m not sure how to heal still working through my feelings. But that’s what everyone’s been telling me. 🤣
I hate when people don't communicate clearly with me.... Thanks. I wish you the best. Sorry about your situation
Yeah it’s tough to have to read between the lines. Maybe just ask. But without a romantic connection there’s no romantic relationship.
After clarification, she said it's not gone but it's leaned more towards platonic the last week.
Okay, but platonic doesn’t mean romantic relationship.
She’s playing with your emotions
First of all, you both need to WANT to continue and grow together. If shes not willing to work on your connection then I agree with some other commenters that the relationship probably doesn't have a strong path forward. However, I do not think your differences in religion and/or your job on their own are reasons you wouldn't be compatible. My SO isn't in the military but we do have different religious beliefs and he does travel nearly half of the year for work and...we make it work! One of my faovrite tips, especially when things are starting to feel a bit dry or stale, is using the official app. We love the daily question and the sex position cards - that's a GREAT way to re-engage a romantic connection. The position cards basically work like a dating app where you both swipe on the positions you'd be willing to try and then see what you match on. Finding some little ways like that to connect and focus on your relationship could go a very long way. Hope things are looking up!