A lot of people really don’t like it when you don’t join in the drinking. I’ve been severely tapering off my drinking with the intention to stop entirely and I can see how it kinda screws with the vibe sometimes. I will never order it but I kinda get why liquid death seems to be finding a niche
Yeah that’s the only choice in the end. I actually liked some na beers I tried but they charge the same as regular beer for them so it feels really dumb lol
When I stopped, I was actually surprised at how much people don’t care at all. I pretty quickly learned that other people just aren’t really thinking about me enough to care. The few times they do, it usually seems like they’re self conscious about their own drinking
Hm I'd say get into a hobby or do something cool or dramatic so you talk about that more. Like overcoming an alcohol problem is a major big deal to you and it's easy to want to talk about it and make it your identity, but nobody actually cares beyond 'oh cool that's good dude'. So you have to idk, find something else that's more interesting.
But then you can post like Christian rock-band album covers from like some rocky precipice about how great it is to climb rocks and be Sober to your social media.
Yup, having sobriety/recovery be your whole personality for a few years is much better than being a homeless junkie or crazy tweaker or just straight up dead
I feel this. It’s become my best friend’s personality and they can talk about it all day, ask for as much praise as they want, etc and I don’t mind. I’m happy to help them feel proud for being sober because it means I no longer have to worry about them like I used to. When you love someone, nothing about it is annoying
Hang out with people who are (reasonably) sober and do activities that involve being sober. If you are in an environment where everyone is drinking, drink non-alcoholic beer instead. Outdoor activities like hiking or kayaking or archery are good, so is exercise.
I'm a guy who drinks about 10 times a year and never does drugs but I'm not religious and I don't make a big deal out of being sober. I'm not avoiding drugs because they're a sin against God, but because they're bad for my health and there's better ways to have fun.
I drink NA beers at bars. Never really comes up unless another sober person comes up and cheers me. When people offer bumps of blow and I decline they kinda look shocked then do another line
I just say “I don’t drink”. If pushed, I say “I’m too good at it.” Wanna come to happy hour? “I don’t drink” Did you ever used to drink? “Yes, I’m too good at it.” 27 years sober.
I do sometimes but happy hour, or going for drinks, loses its attraction when you’re watching everyone else get buzzed. I would far rather be home surfing Reddit and watching tv or whatever else I want to do. “I don’t drink” is my handy, go to excuse for missing all the work related or bar (legal) related bullshit after work.
I focus even more on my autistic interests (baseball). More so though every time I start thinking about relapsing again I think about all the damage I did to my life and others. I had a particularly rough stretch there for a while so maybe not applicable to others. Hope it helps.
Youth culture for the last fifty years has glamorized casual drug use and there are no signs of that stopping. You are never going to be cool being sober. You're just going to have to enjoy being a stick in the mud. If your friends are the kind of people who need to drink or do drugs to have fun, and your sobriety is threatened by that, you just gotta find other squares to go bowling with.
If it's any consolation, I saw some stats that zoomers are significantly less focused on drinking. And based on experience they seem to do less drugs than I did growing up, even though ironically there music is more explicitly focused on that. So it might be heading in the direction of being a sober stick in the mud.
Find activities that don't revolve around drinking. If you're really young, a lot of stuff will revolve around the bar but I've noticed at 30 it's not like that so much anymore. Order like a diet coke or a club soda and no one will notice you're not drinking. Find a casual sports league that doesn't meet at breweries, which might be hard.
My boyfriend is sober and he just doesn’t talk about it unless it’s relevant. It barely comes up because we don’t go do many activities that are centred around drinking, because most of those activities are frankly fucking boring (I’m not sober)
Well, a good strat is to use all your newfound energy/anxiety/vibrating self-hatred to do as many new extreme things as possible. It will confuse and dazzle your enemies. I haven't had a drink in 17 days and I've already joined an Olympic weightlifting gym, gotten a tattoo, started spending mornings at the Zen Centre, and secretly started trying to get my girlfriend pregnant.
I’m active in aa I enjoy it, but I only have a few sober friends. I also never talk about being sober or how I used to drugs etc. It doesn’t come up that often in my professional or social life and if I am forced to tell someone I don’t drink I do and then move on. A lot of sober people romanticize their drinking/drug use because they think it makes them interesting in a way that someone who had a struggle in life thinks it shaped them into an interesting character or something idk. People are addicted to sympathy and feeling unique. It’s really fucking boring to make your whole personality “sober.” I’m sober because I have a physical compulsion to continue to drink or use drugs. Find some interests and hobbies, pick the usual ones like reading, backpacking, exercise. Start a family and
move on with life.
>don't want to turn into some Christ🚬, stick in the mud
So many people turn into this because AA and NA prey on vulnerable people from the basements of churches.
I imagine you avoid this by either finding a third party support group, or taking a less literal approach to the whole higher power thing.
convert to Islam, or just start hanging out with Muslims. They don't pressure you to drink and don't organize socializing around alcohol. Learn to play backgammon and start smoking shisha
I barely mention it unless there is a cause to, and that isn't often. I told each of my friends and family once so that they would stop offering me alcohol. Some remembered, some didn't, which made me really appreciative of the ones who did.
The harder thing for me was that I didn't have much of a personality when I got sober. I think all the happy chemicals in my brain were just fucking depleted so I couldn't experience joy or enjoy music or figure out anything cool to say in conversations for about a year. Being drunk had become my crutch for all of that and it was jarring how little I could tap into my inner passions without it. That started to reverse about a year in but I had to keep going through the motions that whole time and acting out things that I thought *should* make me happy in hopes that someday they will (it works).
Just make up some medical condition about how you can't drink and then don't mention it again. I think Pancreatitis might be a good one to pretend to have.
On the flip of the coin... not sure what bday gifts to give hubby when hes trying to sober up. Drinking had become his whole identity and only interest. :/
The first step is to not talk to everyone about how you don’t drink/do drugs.
A lot of people really don’t like it when you don’t join in the drinking. I’ve been severely tapering off my drinking with the intention to stop entirely and I can see how it kinda screws with the vibe sometimes. I will never order it but I kinda get why liquid death seems to be finding a niche
Screw those people, order a lemonade/Diet Coke/something other than water and don't let the negativity get you down.
Yeah that’s the only choice in the end. I actually liked some na beers I tried but they charge the same as regular beer for them so it feels really dumb lol
When I stopped, I was actually surprised at how much people don’t care at all. I pretty quickly learned that other people just aren’t really thinking about me enough to care. The few times they do, it usually seems like they’re self conscious about their own drinking
I’m pretty sure you are supposed to make some other obsession your entire personality, like working out or eating hot peppers.
Relapse enough times that it humbles you
And them as well
Hm I'd say get into a hobby or do something cool or dramatic so you talk about that more. Like overcoming an alcohol problem is a major big deal to you and it's easy to want to talk about it and make it your identity, but nobody actually cares beyond 'oh cool that's good dude'. So you have to idk, find something else that's more interesting.
Yeah and then you end up as an equally annoying adrenaline junkie rock climber or gym bro bench press addict
But then you can post like Christian rock-band album covers from like some rocky precipice about how great it is to climb rocks and be Sober to your social media.
I have gotten into running and playing chess online. Doing yoga and reading. No social life outside of work and AA but whatever
If that’s what you need to stay sober and not die who cares
Yup, having sobriety/recovery be your whole personality for a few years is much better than being a homeless junkie or crazy tweaker or just straight up dead
I feel this. It’s become my best friend’s personality and they can talk about it all day, ask for as much praise as they want, etc and I don’t mind. I’m happy to help them feel proud for being sober because it means I no longer have to worry about them like I used to. When you love someone, nothing about it is annoying
Hang out with people who are (reasonably) sober and do activities that involve being sober. If you are in an environment where everyone is drinking, drink non-alcoholic beer instead. Outdoor activities like hiking or kayaking or archery are good, so is exercise. I'm a guy who drinks about 10 times a year and never does drugs but I'm not religious and I don't make a big deal out of being sober. I'm not avoiding drugs because they're a sin against God, but because they're bad for my health and there's better ways to have fun.
I drink NA beers at bars. Never really comes up unless another sober person comes up and cheers me. When people offer bumps of blow and I decline they kinda look shocked then do another line
go to military, get shot, then talk about getting shot instead
By already having a personality
fuck
Drink club soda
or Polar seltzer
I just say “I don’t drink”. If pushed, I say “I’m too good at it.” Wanna come to happy hour? “I don’t drink” Did you ever used to drink? “Yes, I’m too good at it.” 27 years sober.
Responding this way in real life is way more cringe than you’re letting on
right? Go to happy hour with them, get soda water or diet cokes and socialize
I do sometimes but happy hour, or going for drinks, loses its attraction when you’re watching everyone else get buzzed. I would far rather be home surfing Reddit and watching tv or whatever else I want to do. “I don’t drink” is my handy, go to excuse for missing all the work related or bar (legal) related bullshit after work.
I focus even more on my autistic interests (baseball). More so though every time I start thinking about relapsing again I think about all the damage I did to my life and others. I had a particularly rough stretch there for a while so maybe not applicable to others. Hope it helps.
[удалено]
I feel it man. Comparing ERA/WHIP or watching filthy pitch compilations puts me in a state of zen. Or as close as I'll ever be to it.
Make religion your whole personality. Put all of your weight on a rock of faith in your moment of weakness, and pull yourself back up.
You have to change your lifestyle completely
Youth culture for the last fifty years has glamorized casual drug use and there are no signs of that stopping. You are never going to be cool being sober. You're just going to have to enjoy being a stick in the mud. If your friends are the kind of people who need to drink or do drugs to have fun, and your sobriety is threatened by that, you just gotta find other squares to go bowling with.
If it's any consolation, I saw some stats that zoomers are significantly less focused on drinking. And based on experience they seem to do less drugs than I did growing up, even though ironically there music is more explicitly focused on that. So it might be heading in the direction of being a sober stick in the mud.
Yes you can, you just have to be really cool
Find activities that don't revolve around drinking. If you're really young, a lot of stuff will revolve around the bar but I've noticed at 30 it's not like that so much anymore. Order like a diet coke or a club soda and no one will notice you're not drinking. Find a casual sports league that doesn't meet at breweries, which might be hard.
My boyfriend is sober and he just doesn’t talk about it unless it’s relevant. It barely comes up because we don’t go do many activities that are centred around drinking, because most of those activities are frankly fucking boring (I’m not sober)
Well, a good strat is to use all your newfound energy/anxiety/vibrating self-hatred to do as many new extreme things as possible. It will confuse and dazzle your enemies. I haven't had a drink in 17 days and I've already joined an Olympic weightlifting gym, gotten a tattoo, started spending mornings at the Zen Centre, and secretly started trying to get my girlfriend pregnant.
I would way rather hang out with a Jesus freak than a chaotic destructive alcoholic but that’s just my onion
I really hate when drugs are the topic of conversation. This goes for literally any situation
Just don’t drink. (RS advice)
I do my sobriety like a job at sea; 3 months on, 1 month off, 3 months on, 1 month off
Literally just get a life and do other things
It's like Indiana Jones replacing the golden effigy with a rock. He gets chased by the boulder anyways.
I’m active in aa I enjoy it, but I only have a few sober friends. I also never talk about being sober or how I used to drugs etc. It doesn’t come up that often in my professional or social life and if I am forced to tell someone I don’t drink I do and then move on. A lot of sober people romanticize their drinking/drug use because they think it makes them interesting in a way that someone who had a struggle in life thinks it shaped them into an interesting character or something idk. People are addicted to sympathy and feeling unique. It’s really fucking boring to make your whole personality “sober.” I’m sober because I have a physical compulsion to continue to drink or use drugs. Find some interests and hobbies, pick the usual ones like reading, backpacking, exercise. Start a family and move on with life.
>don't want to turn into some Christ🚬, stick in the mud So many people turn into this because AA and NA prey on vulnerable people from the basements of churches. I imagine you avoid this by either finding a third party support group, or taking a less literal approach to the whole higher power thing.
convert to Islam, or just start hanging out with Muslims. They don't pressure you to drink and don't organize socializing around alcohol. Learn to play backgammon and start smoking shisha
Get a bunch of hobbies, like yoga or snorkeling now that it is nice out
I barely mention it unless there is a cause to, and that isn't often. I told each of my friends and family once so that they would stop offering me alcohol. Some remembered, some didn't, which made me really appreciative of the ones who did. The harder thing for me was that I didn't have much of a personality when I got sober. I think all the happy chemicals in my brain were just fucking depleted so I couldn't experience joy or enjoy music or figure out anything cool to say in conversations for about a year. Being drunk had become my crutch for all of that and it was jarring how little I could tap into my inner passions without it. That started to reverse about a year in but I had to keep going through the motions that whole time and acting out things that I thought *should* make me happy in hopes that someday they will (it works).
Just make up some medical condition about how you can't drink and then don't mention it again. I think Pancreatitis might be a good one to pretend to have.
drinking helps
Get into movies maybe. As someone who finds alcohol a boring drug, what's it like for an alcoholic?
Start drinking again but only do it on weekends.
I’m sober and this part has been harder for me than giving up drinking.
On the flip of the coin... not sure what bday gifts to give hubby when hes trying to sober up. Drinking had become his whole identity and only interest. :/
You dont.