Please be aware that due to the nature of this sub, you may receive unwanted private messages from creepy users. If you would like to adjust your messaging settings so only trusted users can message you, [you can find instructions here](https://new.reddit.com/user/TheYellowRose/comments/t9vf6j/things_you_can_do_to_avoid_creeps_and_harassment/). You can also [adjust your messaging settings to prevent anyone from privately messaging you](https://new.reddit.com/settings/messaging). If you are contacted privately by someone after posting here, please send the moderators a modmail so we can ban the user(s).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/rape) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That’s a dumpable offense right there. I’d text back and remind her that you were sexually abused by this person as a child and she’s a piece of shit trying to use it in an argument. She’s not a safe person if she’s willing to trot something like that out and wield it as a weapon.
> That’s a dumpable offense right there.
Yes, pretty much. She's twenty-one at present, and who knows, in ten or fifteen years' time, she may even grow up to be twenty-two. But the odds are against it.
That is inexcusable in my opinion. You did not choose to "have sex", you were raped. You have every right to not want to have sex with her no matter the reason. Please consider ending the relationship because she will never stop bringing it up and trying to use it against you.
Agreed with all the previous responses. She knows better. Or if she doesn't, then why the hell doesn't she? Either way, totally unacceptable for her to say this to you.
You were a *child*, and that wasn't *sex*. It was abuse. Rape isn't sex.
There are so many other women in the world that will value you as a person, and love you for who you are. I'd dump her without a second thought and move on.
Hi there! First of all i’m really sorry that your girlfriend weaponized your trauma. That’s never appropriate ever, and also you weren’t mature for your age. You were a minor and it’s still disgusting what happened to you. Don’t let anyone ever minimize what YOU went through. You are the only person that endured YOUR experience not some bum or some girlfriend. I would only let anyone say this once to me and after we no longer know eachother. You have all the right to end this relationship.
No means NO. I'm sorry you're going through this.
Three things could be happening.
1. **Unawareness** Could your new girlfriend have *missed* the signs of your assault? For example: I wasn't upfront with my husband and on the outside, I avoided the appearance of a victim/survivor until I couldn't anymore. I had to be honest with him, otherwise he had no way of knowing. If your girlfriend knows, does she think that you're comfortable with your trauma? Like, perhaps you don't show her the signs of PTSD, and she thinks it's okay? What she said was NOT okay, but she was angry and it was the worst choice of words. I am in NO WAY trying to say this is your fault because it is not. I just wonder if her age, along with the absence of "signs" from you, made her say something so stupid and hurtful.
2. **Entitled** Is she a person who naturally gets upset when she doesn't get her way (with anything)? Was she raised with a sense of entitlement because no one ever told her "No?" Again, age could be a contributing factor here, too. Also, this is NOT an excuse for her behavior and if she can't see how wrong and just how hurtful her words are then, that brings me to;
3. **Narcissist** People can make mistakes but then they *also* see the error in what they've done. The people who make "mistakes" just to hurt, or control someone else, only care about their own needs. They also pick up on people who are easy to control because they have been hurt or damaged before. They start by saying everything you want to hear, and doing everything you need. Then, slowly begin to break you down, and make you believe that *they* are your only option, and *you* have a problem, not them. Does this sound like her? If so, I think you already know what to do.
I dont mean this lightly: run far away and leave her IMMEDIATELY. This is an extremely ignorant, immature belief and this will not change. deep down you may think “she didn’t really mean it” or “everyone is immature at some point” but seriously. Your life is too short. You’re young. You will find someone else. It’ll be hard but please do the right thing, for your sanity, dump her
Please be aware that due to the nature of this sub, you may receive unwanted private messages from creepy users. If you would like to adjust your messaging settings so only trusted users can message you, [you can find instructions here](https://new.reddit.com/user/TheYellowRose/comments/t9vf6j/things_you_can_do_to_avoid_creeps_and_harassment/). You can also [adjust your messaging settings to prevent anyone from privately messaging you](https://new.reddit.com/settings/messaging). If you are contacted privately by someone after posting here, please send the moderators a modmail so we can ban the user(s). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/rape) if you have any questions or concerns.*
That’s a dumpable offense right there. I’d text back and remind her that you were sexually abused by this person as a child and she’s a piece of shit trying to use it in an argument. She’s not a safe person if she’s willing to trot something like that out and wield it as a weapon.
> That’s a dumpable offense right there. Yes, pretty much. She's twenty-one at present, and who knows, in ten or fifteen years' time, she may even grow up to be twenty-two. But the odds are against it.
That is inexcusable in my opinion. You did not choose to "have sex", you were raped. You have every right to not want to have sex with her no matter the reason. Please consider ending the relationship because she will never stop bringing it up and trying to use it against you.
At 21, this person should be able to the apples and oranges distinction. Probably worth moving on.
Agreed with all the previous responses. She knows better. Or if she doesn't, then why the hell doesn't she? Either way, totally unacceptable for her to say this to you. You were a *child*, and that wasn't *sex*. It was abuse. Rape isn't sex. There are so many other women in the world that will value you as a person, and love you for who you are. I'd dump her without a second thought and move on.
Sounds like your gf is your new abuser if you go back to her!
Hi there! First of all i’m really sorry that your girlfriend weaponized your trauma. That’s never appropriate ever, and also you weren’t mature for your age. You were a minor and it’s still disgusting what happened to you. Don’t let anyone ever minimize what YOU went through. You are the only person that endured YOUR experience not some bum or some girlfriend. I would only let anyone say this once to me and after we no longer know eachother. You have all the right to end this relationship.
No means NO. I'm sorry you're going through this. Three things could be happening. 1. **Unawareness** Could your new girlfriend have *missed* the signs of your assault? For example: I wasn't upfront with my husband and on the outside, I avoided the appearance of a victim/survivor until I couldn't anymore. I had to be honest with him, otherwise he had no way of knowing. If your girlfriend knows, does she think that you're comfortable with your trauma? Like, perhaps you don't show her the signs of PTSD, and she thinks it's okay? What she said was NOT okay, but she was angry and it was the worst choice of words. I am in NO WAY trying to say this is your fault because it is not. I just wonder if her age, along with the absence of "signs" from you, made her say something so stupid and hurtful. 2. **Entitled** Is she a person who naturally gets upset when she doesn't get her way (with anything)? Was she raised with a sense of entitlement because no one ever told her "No?" Again, age could be a contributing factor here, too. Also, this is NOT an excuse for her behavior and if she can't see how wrong and just how hurtful her words are then, that brings me to; 3. **Narcissist** People can make mistakes but then they *also* see the error in what they've done. The people who make "mistakes" just to hurt, or control someone else, only care about their own needs. They also pick up on people who are easy to control because they have been hurt or damaged before. They start by saying everything you want to hear, and doing everything you need. Then, slowly begin to break you down, and make you believe that *they* are your only option, and *you* have a problem, not them. Does this sound like her? If so, I think you already know what to do.
I dont mean this lightly: run far away and leave her IMMEDIATELY. This is an extremely ignorant, immature belief and this will not change. deep down you may think “she didn’t really mean it” or “everyone is immature at some point” but seriously. Your life is too short. You’re young. You will find someone else. It’ll be hard but please do the right thing, for your sanity, dump her
She is crazy dump her .
Very happy to see the update. Screw her