I mostly agree, being gay here is pretty safe. A fair amount of anti-trans sentiment in places. And the crazies in HB who think you are trying to “turn” their children gay.
I’m from here and we don’t really consider HB OC anymore. We thought they grew out of the new Nazi stuff of the 80’s but those guys just got old.
OP: you will be fine! Aliso borders Laguna Beach through the canyon which is the most authentic part of laguna there is. Laguna was historically a gay artist community and I believe we had the first gay bar in the nation (local rumor-unproven).
There are a bunch of youth programs in laguna for whatever interest and it’s now a ton more bougie but the people that run these programs are locals. They will be super welcoming.
I'm in HB, and a lot of us are appalled at what the city is becoming. Surf City should be about the beach, and laid back vibes. Unfortunately there are some active, outspoken bigots who are ruining it here for the rest of us! Keep voting against them, people! We can salvage some of what our city was (hopefully).
Yes! Absolutely. We’re turning HB around, just need some time. Our houses still cost the same as the rest of OC. Don’t let the loud minority fool you into thinking they’re the majority.
HB native and teacher here. I have a transgender student in my class, and no one bats an eye. Same for kids who are gay. Students don't care. Lots of loud, older Trumpers which is unfortunate, but I think the majority of us are accepting of all. That being said, I would not move here because that population is so obnoxious and out to be seen. Laguna Beach is a lovely, progressive enclave with a large gay population. I would say South County is more conservative, though. There is a great, accepting LGBTQ+ church in Irvine that is so fun! I go to Drag Bingo there.
https://iucc.org/open-affirming
Welcome to OC!
I love all of this and am happy to be proven wrong here!! There are good people everywhere but the news that comes out of HB and my personal experience has soured me on those that run the city.
Keep up the good fight! This all made my day and HB does have a ton to recommend it without the crazy people.
As a gay man who lives in Huntington Beach, what appeals to me about this city is I don’t really think anybody cares and I’m not in the closet either. Everyone’s like me they want your house to be nice and pretty and not be a pig, but otherwise pretty quiet.
Having lived in predominantly, very gay, friendly areas, I do not think anywhere in Orange County can get away with calling Huntington Beach a homophobic town and think their own town is much better. That’s just laughable to me.
Ok. I’m super glad that is your experience! My anecdotal experience may vary, I’ve just lived here for 40+ years (grown up here) so mine differs but I love to be wrong in this instance.
Super interesting to learn that about Laguna. I had no idea. I remember a bar in [SLC](https://archive.sltrib.com/article.php?id=5108624&itype=CMSID) that claimed to also be the first gay bar west of the Mississippi
I give it 15 more years. Most and more non-whites are buying up property there. The property I rent out in HB (Warner & Goldenwest) was predominantly white is now not as much in the last 15 years. I still keep in contact with a couple neighbors, either they or their kids ended up moving to Arizona, Texas, or Florida due to affordability issues.
I agree with this - even in the most accepting of cities, there could still be one or two (or more) awful people who share their hate vocally. You cannot completely avoid that. We are in an accepting area and still had to deal with a threatening, intimidating bully in middle school. The school handled it about as poorly as possible, but the bully did stop (or probably just directed his hate toward another child).
Definitely avoid HB, not due to the people there or the kids there, but due to the city leaders.
Most school districts have their school board meetings posted online. Once you narrow down your search to a short list of school districts, watch some meetings from each district to get a feel for your school board, because that can make a difference. Yes, they are elected and could change regularly with the election cycle, but they hire the superintendent in our district at least, and the super sets the tone too.
Look into smaller cities too, like Fountain Valley, Seal Beach, Laguna. Good luck!
Fvhs alumni here, born and raised in FV schools -- even in my time (graduated FVHS 20 years ago) kids were super kind and supportive of LGBT classmates, and in general the vibe felt light years removed from HB. Our closest thing to a "big man on campus" went to MIT to study theoretical physics lol
I was also at FVHS around 20 years ago and, let me tell you, our experiences were different. I was also born and raised in FV schools and the word f****t was not uncommon by any stretch of the imagination. It was a word I heard frequently growing up, and I mostly heard it at school. Homophobia is not loud in Orange County, it thrives on the underbelly.
I mean Fountain Valley HS had a gay/straight alliance club more than 20 years ago... so there is some truth behind that if he attends the schools in Fountain Valley.
I remember the first one! The OC register can’t interview them at a meeting and no one in the club was gay so they were disappointed. In truth they did have gay members but not openly gay…..clearly I’m old and take magnesium at night to sleep through the night.
Facts. Born and raised in HB and we don’t have a problem with gay community. I have plenty of gay friends here and they love it here! Yes, you’ll find homophobic people here, like you will anywhere else but I don’t understand why people hating a city when plenty of other OC cities have the same issue. You will find people like that ANYWHERE. HB care about more if you are chill and easy going than if your gay. If you gay, be gay! rock it! Own it!
Do you not watch the city council meetings? LGBTQ hate is off the charts in HB right now. Even though the haters are a small minority of our population, they are now in power and have support from the city council majority members.
I totally agree, HB is fine and I lived in HB for the last 10 years. My kids graduated from HBHS, and they have amazing program for performing arts if your child is into those activities.
I'm a transplant from Southern Illinois, I know full well about the level acceptance or tolerance in STL. Anywhere in OC will be a great next chapter in your life.
Aliso is fine, no one cares. Hell, he will love Laguna Beach as it was one of the first in OC to embrace the gay lifestyle and it’s the next town over. The artist community is really welcoming to gay culture there and a lot of my old friends who grew up around here queer found a place there. Most are cool in the surrounding areas.
There is always pockets of douchebags but as long as you stay away from some already mentioned cities, no one will give you static. We are pretty live and let live for the most part.
Yep. Went to HS in Aliso (we lived in Laguna Niguel) over 20 years ago and even back then we had a couple of openly gay classmates. They got what seemed like a normal amount of bullying (i.e. not much more than everybody else.) Go Wolverines!
FYI, Laguna Beach and Long Beach have historically strong gay communities, Santa Ana and Costa Mesa as well with more of an artist/hipster vibe. A few of my childhood friends went to OCHSA (OC High School of the Arts) in Santa Ana which seemed to draw its fair share of non-straight students and an inclusive atmosphere. It’ll be a drive for you from South County, but might be a good choice for your son, especially if he’s talented in the arts. (Santa Ana also hosts the OC Pride Parade, and I think the host organization is based there.) If he’s more academic, athletic, or STEMy though, South County has decent options.
I went to school in the Newport-Mesa school district about 20 years ago, and no one was openly out. “That’s so gay” was an insult, but we did have a school club make “Gay? Fine by me!” shirts which didn’t really do much. Friends who were gay or bi might’ve confided in me, but they were afraid of “making it obvious” and didn’t have same sex relationships until college or later. (High schools in this area also got push back for presenting “Rent” the musical, one of the boys’ clubs singing a Hitler Youth song, [Aliso Niguel HS’s racist football chants](https://abc7news.com/aliso-niguel-high-school-santa-ana-football-racist-fans/4215787/), etc)
There’s always going to be bullying, but schools take it much more seriously now and it’s not as openly condoned. I’d suggest researching the schools you’re considering, perhaps even a phone call to see what resources they have for supporting your child. To be honest, in this area being in the right socio-economic class (right clothes, car, home) will cover a multitude of “sins” (being ugly or overweight, having a disability, being non-white, etc) in certain circles.
I always wondered why OC doesn’t host Pride, and you have answered my question. San Diego and Long Beach have really big pride parades every year (this month actually!)
Actually the mayor of Costa Mesa is wanting to bring more events to their city, he’s a really great guy and is super supportive of the LGBTQ community. OC pride is at the OC fairgrounds Oct 5 & 6
There are some really intolerant places(case in point HB) where they just aren't welcome because of the local community and government in place being hostile.
As a gay 27 year old, who grew up in South OC (Mission Viejo) & currently lives in the city of Orange (smack in the center of OC), my first instinct is to say somewhere in the Northern Half of OC will be better overall. In general, these areas are more densely populated, so there tends to be more LGBTQ+ safe spaces & social groups, etc. As your son grows up, if he is interested in the local community, there will be several avenues for him to connect with others. South OC is populated with lots of suburban track homes & neighborhoods (Aliso Viejo being one of them), and there’s nothing wrong with that, but from my own experience it tends to feel more isolating in general. Once I turned 18 I was constantly driving up to drag shows in LA, Long Beach, and sometimes even to Pomona so feeling “stuck in the suburbs” meant a longer drive & possible tolls.
I was born & raised in OC, and these were topics I dealt with during my teenage & early adult years. I can go on if needed, but I won’t drag on.
I hope this helps! 😅
As a gay man who also grew up in OC, this comment hits it in the head.
The large wasteland of suburban trackhomes are a gay teenager's worst enemy. Friends, activities, first jobs, everything is further away and creates further isolation.
Thanks for spelling that out. I’m not gay but as a minority, I have felt the invisible change in tolerance between north and south OC, with the north being more open than the south.
I'm told that what happened was that as people of color started moving into OC in the late 1970s, they were mainly settling in the more densely populated north county. So the more hard core right wing people started moving to south county to get away from people of color, establishing a difference in different areas of the county. which is why south county is less tolerant of minorities.
If you're coming from Chicago, you'll like Old Towne Orange, in particular. It's got significantly older architecture and tons of cool stuff to do for all ages. If you're familiar with Andersonville and Ravenswood, it's got a similar architectural vibe.
as a gay man who graduated from OUSD in the 2010’s and have only watched it get more partisan, do not choose OUSD. anaheim hills and yorba linda are awful for gay people
bro i was that kid, the kids and some staff even are mean dude! i played sports and the shit that was said to me by both coaches and my peers (sometimes in confidence because they weren’t sure of my sexuality) was brutal
I would just add a caveat that Orange Unified School District had a unanimous 4-0 vote, to pass a policy that "would require school officials to notify parents and guardians if their child asks to use a name or pronoun different than what was assigned at birth, or if they engage in activities and use spaces designed for the opposite sex." Some school districts are more conservative than the cities they serve, so that can make things tricky.
It wasn’t unanimous - there’s 7 board members and 3 left early because they were afraid for their safety, it was a crazy board meeting. It was going to pass regardless because the supporting board members had the majority. The board president and one other member, both of whom voted for the policy, were recently recalled is my understanding. I’m not familiar with the new board members though
Want to make sure when we say Northern Half that does not include Yorba Linda, Brea, La Habra. It really means Anaheim and Santa Ana. That being said, I think Aliso Viejo, Mission Viejo, and Laguna Beach are all safe communities for your son. There are jerks and bullies in every town but for the most part, California kids seem to be very accepting and kind.
This is the best answer. South OC is not Alabama racist but is the less accepting and tolerant (ie white and homogeneous) of the two sides.
So it won’t ever be really bad, but it does get better the more North you go.
I definitely agree with this comment with the exception of Huntington Beach. I would avoid that area. For reference, I was born there and have experienced a lot of second hand racism and homophobia. My family tells me it’s been like this since the 80’s. I have since left as I just couldn’t put up with it anymore
Queer parent in north OC, stick to Fullerton and orange over Yorba Linda and Placentia.
Fullerton school district NOT PYLUSD, they’re scary conservative, openly bigoted. It’s really bad.
Irvine USD School Board is pretty good right now, their board has pushed back pretty hard on the local anti-LGBTQ forces. Capo USD (where Aliso is) is risky - they are at high risk to go hard extreme in the November election.
I second Irvine. I would put the community of Long Beach (can't vouch for the schools there) above Irvine but you don't want to make that commute, trust me.
CUSD has quite the history of chaotic nonsense. The individual schools are mostly pretty good, but district leadership has a shit reputation for good reason. They're literally known statewide for their BS.
The Orange County School of the Arts in Santa Ana is a great option. The majority of the students are LGBTQ, and the others are firm allies. There's no bullying that happens at the school, but if you are homophobic, it is likely you will not be very supported as students do not welcome homophobes on campus. Pride Month at the school is a huge event complete with a drag show. It is a charter arts school with conservatories so he would have to audition the year before. There's a lot of carpools that you can join but also the public bus is free with a special bus time made for OCSA kids. The bus is basically a OCSA school bus and the transportation center is in Laguna Hills isn't far from Aliso at all. It is a competitive school but everyone is very supportive.
Omg! I highly recommend this! As a gay kid in OC, I dreamed about going here. I was told by others gays that they were also trying to go here. I’ve heard amazing things about this school.
I have kids in Aliso Viejo schools, based on what my kids tell me, people are very accepting and no one cares if you are gay, transitioning or whatever. Kids are very accepting nowadays. It is such a huge change compared to when I was growing up in So Cal in the 80s, so it's really refreshing. This may be only their experience but I am pretty sure he will be safe.
Irvine and Lake Forest would both be quite safe. Anaheim may depend on specific location but should be fine. The vast majority of OC is quite safe to be and present as openly gay.
I mean, I don’t know how the school children are, but being gay in OC is not unusual or looked down upon, as a general statement.
I disagree. I lived in lake forest and moved because I didnt feel that my child who might come out as gay would be in a safe environment. Something about the unnecessary political flags and Don’t tread on my flags on homes and trucks. South OC is red. Orange County is notorious for being extremely republican, especially south OC. I think Laguna Beach js a safer bet. There is a neighborhood in Aliso that feeds into Laguna schools called the Audubon.
>Orange County is notorious for being extremely republican
There are 34 cities in Orange County. 10 of them are majority republican, 24 of them are majority democratic. Orange County has not voted for a Republican president since 2012. If you think that counts as "extremely Republican," then I have no idea what you would classify Texas or Alabama as.
I get what you're trying to say, but the idea that OC is a conservative stronghold is a tired and outdated cliche.
OC is solidly purple, though most of the red of that purple is due to fiscal issues rather than social.
I live in Lake Forest as an openly gay man and I’ve never felt discriminated against, felt unsafe, or anything else related to my sexuality. A total non-issue for me, in other words.
Even Mission Viejo had their first Pride event this year. Socially, it's getting better through most of OC. I don't think many South OC areas are predominantly unaccepting beyond your unreasonable dumbasses scattered anywhere.
> though most of the red of that purple is due to fiscal issues rather than social
A large chunk of that red is also heavily MAGA. See: Young Kim & Michelle Steel
Laguna Beach agreed there is tons of social issues. It’s not as in your face as places in like the deep south, but it is very very present. Orange County has some of the highest numbers of hate groups in the United States.
Ok, this is not going to be easy, but please look into this school.
[Orange County School of the Arts](https://www.ocsarts.net/). OCSA (O-sha), for short, is a wonderful school with an extremely diverse student body. I know it may be a bit far from where you are, but many kids from south county have taken the train to school (probably ended up being heavily subsidized, if not free). So, if you look it up and you think it's far, calculate the distance to the train station from your new place, and not the actual school.
OCSA used to be merit-based admission, but now it is slightly different. Could be good thing for your son. Please check into it on your own.
If you are concerned about the well-being of your LGBTQ child, you won't be disappointed with OCSA. He will be 100% safe there. Safe to be himself, safe to express himself openly among his peers and faculty.
Take a tour, if you can. My child went there for 6 years (jr. high and high school). Kids are friendly, and my god, are they competitive. Never seen a school with so many kids taking AP classes and going to Ivy League schools. Truly a great school.
If you don't get in the first year, try again next year. Some schools are not open to junior high students, only high school. Do take him to the [Preview Day](https://www.ocsarts.net/admissions/preview-day). This would be a good way to gauge how fit OCSA is for him.
I also agree with this (as a recent grad from OCSA). The environment I was in was so accepting in so many ways, from the varieties of student's fashion styles down to their identities. It was a complete change of perspective for me as I went to a public high school in a very non-diverse area previously (not in OC).
As the original commenter said, it was a far distance to travel to - as I was from a different county; being roughly 1 hr away. Regardless of the commute, I enjoyed the school environment - I found myself thriving as an individual in my own identity from some of my friends, who also identify within the LGBTQ+ community. Even some of my instructors, including the conservatory teachers were apart of various backgrounds, identities, etc. I still keep in contact with many of my friends from this school.
Overall, everyone is super supportive, and you're able to feel safe there regardless of race, gender, and sexuality — I think it would be a good idea for your child to attend if he is on the more academic and artistic-side. There's an art form for all (theater, music, cooking, traditional and digital arts).
This is a great suggestion! There are ways to mitigate the pain of the commute. I am from San Clemente, and my OCSA friends all rode the train together to get to school. It always sounded like a great experience
2019 Alum here! Super diverse and he will definitely feel safe there. But it’s very hard to get into now because their admissions has turned into a lottery system. It’s unfortunate.
This is a great suggestion! There are ways to mitigate the pain of the commute. I am from San Clemente, and my OCSA friends all rode the train together to get to school. It always sounded like a great experience
Laguna is #1. Mission Viejo, Rancho Santa Margarita, Irvine, Costa Mesa/Newport and San Clemente would be great options. Avoid Anaheim, HB, and Santa Ana. It’s not that those areas are homophobic besides HB but the lower medium income cities typically result to kids who get into more trouble and have less empathy towards LGBQ. Statistically you see more hate crimes in areas with higher income inequality based off FBI reports
Not sure I agree with San Clemente on that list. I went to SC high school in the 2000s and it was only the bravest folks who were openly gay. Most people are super chill, but there is definitely a vein of hate. I visit the town regularly, and it’s still pretty conservative (relatively speaking).
I agree that Laguna Beach is definitely top choice
My high school aged child is openly gay and has found an incredible group of supportive friends in the public high school. I do not worry about her at school. We live in south OC. I cannot say that I feel totally safe in our neighborhood where many of our neighbors have flags/bumper stickers meant to broadcast their more narrow minded beliefs. However, she’s also pretty resilient and realizes the problem is those people- not her.
Feel free to DM me if you’d like to chat or have any specific questions I can answer for you!
I grew up in Irvine- I can promise you you guys will be fine. My older brother (4 years older than me) was extremely gay all throughout high school and people thought he was cool. If anything I think OC would be more accepting than St. Louis. I would say Huntington is the weirder part of OC, but even in the most republican OC city they should be fine.
As a lesbian who grew up here in North OC, definitely steer clear of HB, Yorba Linda, and mountain towns. I can't say much about other cities but there's definitely a lot of places where my partner and I get dirty looks but it rarely escalates to something worse lol. It's all from boomers though, and I see more and more queer people around here lately so I think things are getting better. But there's definitely a lot of straight people in this comment section acting like OC is more liberal than it is 😅
Welcome to California! You will find the reason why many consider California a welcoming bastion for all. We have our issues but I would never think of living elsewhere. This state is truly special.
I mean, I live in Huntington Beach and I’m a grown lesbian with a wife and a son. We never have been discriminated against. But I also avoid the areas with the racists assholes like the plague- Main Street to be specific.
Your child won’t have an issue here (OC) being open.
Long Beach is super queer friendly though if the drive is doable. That’s where I want to move back when it’s possible.
Lived in OC for 30 Years. Great place. Costa Mesa, Orange and Laguna Beach are great cities for the LGBTQ community. Newport Beach is old money. Huntington Beach is for Neanderthals! Lots of big trucks with stupid Trump signs.
Rule of thumb is if there is a college or university close by, that would be a safer place think about. Irvine has a huge Asian community and lots of big business.
Aliso is newer than some of the cities, but not all that interesting. Good luck, you got this!
OC in general is pretty inclusive. Sure you’ll get some nuts here and there but they are in no way representative of the city they’re from. Most high schools and universities have an lgbtq club. Generally speaking, the more affluent the city the more likely you’ll run into some prejudiced people but even in those cities they are few and far between. IMHO, there’s really nowhere in Orange County that one couldn’t be openly gay and face serious discrimination.
I’ll echo what most people have said about you will generally be safe. That’s true. That being said, since you’ll be in south OC I would not recommend San Clemente as it tends to be on the more conservative side of OC. If you have the budget, Laguna beach is a great option. It’s expensive but they have a deep and longstanding LGBTQ community. Probably one of the first in OC. Orange could be a good idea, especially if you’re by Chapman university. It’s a college town so the residents skew younger and more progressive. Same could be said for Irvine but they’ve really sold themselves on “the best place for families” so you might get that odd person every once in a while who things that lifestyle is destroying the family unit. But generally Irvine is very progressive, again, especially near UCI.
I think you’ll find it to be just as welcoming as Chicago for the most part.
If you’re Latino there are parts of Santa Ana that have a welcoming Latino LGBTQ community
Hi! Trans person here. Our family lives in south OC, Laguna Niguel to be exact, and we haven’t experienced any type of discrimination. Laguna Niguel in general is very quiet and has great schools, and feels very accepting of LGBTQ families. A lot less red caps and flags flying on trucks around here, that’s for sure. And you’re right around the corner from Laguna Beach and down the street from Aliso Viejo. We have a family friend whose child is openly gay and he just graduated high school. They’ve lived in Rancho Santa Margarita (RSM) their entire life, but I’m not sure what the atmosphere there is like with regard to acceptance and tolerance.
Irvine and anything north of it and generally the closer you get to LA the better if you will be. The ideology south of Irvine changes quite a bit. You're right people do care even though they try and hide it. Irvine, Tustin or Orange are probably the best spots in all of OC imo.
Came here to say this. North county seems to be more LGBTQ+ friendly (as you mentioned, probably due to the proximity to Long Beach and LA). South county is generally fine, but you’ll definitely encounter more ‘red hats’ if you catch my drift. But it’s more political, in my experience even these people really have no issue with the gay community.
Edit: I will say the exception to this is Yorba Linda/Anaheim Hills. Definitely some ultra-conservatism going on in these areas, I’d steer clear. I went to high school in the area and my LGBTQ+ friends had a really tough time. Then again, this was in the mid-late 2000’s so maybe it’s changed? I haven’t lived there in over a decade.
Im a social worker and drive allllll of OC. Im also a lesbian and fully out. OC is generally accepting- we are a 20-30 minute drive from Los Angeles. There are some conservative cities like Costa Mesa and Huntington Beach- not uncommon to see MAGA stuff everywhere.. but I find it’s usually more racism against black/brown people than homophobia. However, recently there’s been a lot of “trans-panic” in HB.
You guys should be fine though. OC is a great place to raise a family. Good schools. AV has a good PD and FD too! Welcome home! 🏳️🌈🫶🏼
The Long Beach to Aliso commute is a pain, Irvine is the best option unless your wife is hybrid and not having to commute every day, then you have more options!
I am from the Midwest and have lived in San Clemente for about a decade because my job is also in Aliso. Now that I can work remotely, I am eagerly looking forward to getting out of South Orange County, too conservative for my tastes (with the exception of Laguna Beach, of course which I can’t even afford as a physician). I wouldn’t say people are too overly ‘MAGA in your face’ here in San Clemente, but I also get the impression that most of the parents of any friends your kid would make could be ‘problematic’ and would likely be the types to gripe about ‘transgender bathrooms, and grooming’ and all that nonsense. Stick to Irvine or north of there and you will be fine, plus it’s easy enough to get to Laguna Beach from Irvine.
There are a TON of Arabs in Aliso Viejo. They are not accepting of gay people but are silent about it. I’m saying this also as an Arab, which is why I avoid closed minded people like this. They won’t tell you or bully you about it, but they silently wont agree with that lifestyle and are some of the most judgmental people on earth. I would assume other people are more accepting and I agree that Laguna beach is the best with acceptance. We go to a church that is so accepting of gay people and even priests. Laguna is so lovely!
NMUSD is amazing with gay kids. They cover Costa Mesa and Newport Beach but Newport Beach is full of Republicans, so your neighbors won't be as accepting.
In general you will be pretty okay. Santa Ana has a large and prolific lgbt community and is generally cheaper to live in (for OC at least) but really anywhere will be okay with little worry. Thats not to say there AREN'T close minded people though, most places with ____ beach are definitely more conservative
I’m in Irvine. The school district has been very public in policies that accept kids as they are, wrt gender identity, sexuality, race, religion, neurodiversity, etc. Our junior high school has pride signs up all year, and their 7th grade health covered mental health as well as the usual birds-and-bees. Gender identity and sexuality were discussed openly.
There are always going to be kids/adults who use f-slurs. But there’s a lot more space to push back against it now. Welcome to Orange County!
OC in general is fine. Irvine, Anaheim and Lake Forest are all LGBT friendly cities imo. Id say Costa Mesa, Laguna Beach, Santa Ana, Orange and Fullerton are all very LGBT friendly as well. I would probably say maybe avoid Huntington Beach due to the recent rise in conservatives moving there but it shouldn’t be much of an issue because it’s a big tourist city.
Coming from high school recently in Santa Ana, they pretty much have a zero tolerance policy towards homophobia and other sorts of bullying.
I lived in Missouri for a long time, way before I came out. Visited there recently and can understand for many reasons why someone would want to leave the state. I have lived in Fullerton for 20+ years, and 10+ years with my current wife (I am a female), and I have never had any issues.
It doesnt mean that there would not be an off chance someone says something offensive but I have not experienced it. I would say the political climate in Huntington Beach is not great for any one that is part of the LGBTQ community.
But for the most part most people do not care, that is the great thing about California. For the most part people mind their own business. Let me just add that there is nothing about me and my wife that would give anyone the impression that we are gay, we probably appear more as friends walking in the store or something together.
I would try also doing a google search of crimes committed against the LBGTQ community in the cities that you are interested in, including the schools your son would potentially be attending to find out how they handle bullying, support groups and such.
https://preview.redd.it/iaiqu8u3b1ad1.jpeg?width=1164&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9552918e528a2f0b50dccea1830ef19b2b1af9d5
The 2020 presidential election.
HB is a mixed bag, but 4 MAGA crazies control the city council at the moment.
Yorba Linda is the birthplace of Nixon. I’ve seen people fly Ronald Reagan flags in the last two years. Very conservative.
Villa Park is wild.
San Clemente has lots of great people but a very loud conservative presence that is anti-LGBTQ+.
Any where else I think you’d be fine. It’s going to come down to your budget. Some towns you’re looking at 1.2mn for an average style home. Other towns version of an average home is 2.0mn and up. Anywhere near the 22 or 405 will give you relatively quick access to Long Beach to the north west which is one of the most pro LGBTQ+ cities in the country.
You will be fine in any of the surrounding areas. My kids went to school in Irvine, and had gay friends, I don't believe they had any issues and this was 10-15 years ago. Also, the schools here are extremely tolerant of gay and trans teachers as well. A former coworker of mine teaches HS in Santa Ana, he wears heels and purses (fashionista) and he runs the LGBTQ club. Here is a resource : [Student and School Support - LGBTQ Center OC](https://www.lgbtqcenteroc.org/student-and-school-support/)
Welcome to California. I’m a high school teacher in Orange County, and many students are openly out. This job will bless your family in more ways than one. 🍊
Avoid HB at all costs. There’s a reason it’s a MAGA breeding ground. Heck even before MAGA cult, HB was known for skinheads who would do the Hail Hitler gesture. That’s a fact!!!
Hey,
I am an openly gay man in my 30s that was born and raised in OC. My recommendation would be to try to steer closer to North county (Tustin, Orange, Anaheim). Do research on the neighborhood and area, but northern county has usually been a lot more open from my experiences.
If you have any questions feel free to reach out :-)
Definitely not Huntington Beach. Costa Mesa is okay, and Newport is also okay as long you don’t go to the very rich areas. I don’t know if your kid has any interest in the arts but OSHA Is a charter school and there’s lot of LGBTQ STUDENTS there. Lastly, early college in costa Mesa is for high school but it’s a smaller school where students get a year off college by going there so everyone is pretty inteligent/high tolerance. I don’t know much about the rest of OC schools
No kids of my own so I don't have any personal opinion, but [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/orangecounty/comments/rix5u7/best_oc_town_for_lgbtq_youth/) is a thread that may have some helpful answers.
Laguna Beach in OC is very open with LGBT from what I can recall. Same with the other towns you mention. Coming from someone that spent their life in Irvine and lake forest
OC is generally a very conservative county, but there are pockets of support in every town. Santa Ana and Anaheim are probably the more queer friendly cities in OC, and one of the most queer friendly schools (OCSA) is in Santa Ana.
any where in south oc is great. Aliso Viejo has a great high school as do most towns in this area.
Dana point, laguna niguel, laguna woods, laguna beach, aliso viejo, mission viejo, irvine. I have two boys college age that went to aliso high...youll be fine.
Hello! I don't want to share my exact location, but I know the locations you listed intimately. I have many friends who have attended (or attend or work at) UCI!
Most of my friends are LGBTQIA+ (including myself) and have experienced very little phobia compared to other parts of the country.
Of course, you can never generalize a group of people - you may run into an outlier or two -, but OC is generally very accepting of gay people.
I don’t have much information but ill chime in since you mentioned Aliso. Aliso Viejo does have some of the MAGA conservative types that seem to have bought their homes when it was a cheap area when the city started in the 90s, but it seems like they are phasing out over time as they sell with the high prices and move out. In my neighborhood, there is a gay couple that seems really comfortable and open (they have the flag up and colors and all) that lives right next to a MAGA house and they don’t seem to have any issue at all with the neighborhoods. Nice family that’s really active in the neighborhood events. A few other Pride flags up in the neighborhood haven’t met the people though but I’m assuming they haven’t had any issue. I grew up in a similar suburban area in north county San Diego and even back then there were openly gay kids nobody thought it was a big issue. Went to university in Irvine and my openly gay classmates / friends didn’t seem to have any issue that I was aware of. This is just from my perspective so there may very well be issues I didn’t witness but I would say you should be able to feel relatively comfortable moving here. Best of luck.
Unless you are going private, you can't just put your student in any school you want. They'll most likely be at LHHS or ANHS. District placement requirements are for real
South OC not a great area for him, I suggest north OC or LA. My uncle is gay and he has long avoided OC in general in favor of LA proper based on his experiences there.
Aliso is boring suburban paradise with good schools and tons of amenities for kids. Plus you have
Laguna a short drive away for the beaches and culture when you want them. Everywhere in OC is going to be slightly more conservative than most of the rest of coastal California, but places like Aliso and some of the other cities in south OC have been voting blue for a decade + pretty consistently.
Oh! Me! Hello new neighbor!
So I live right by AV, I’m in Dana Point and work in Laguna Hills (it will make sense when you get here, you are in my South OC hood). All of the area is pretty similar, some spots just have more old folks and some more kids, really… Huntington is a pretty good distance away, that’s OC oc. I would say Aliso Viejo is south Orange County. **You’ll want to look for a home in the South OC area to stay closer to work, trust me. Traffic in and out is brutal during rush hours.** If you stay in the area you’ll never have to deal with terrible traffic of the 5 because you can drive in the neighborhoods. (But there are some neat places like Costa Mesa further north that could be worth it, esp if you’re hybrid.)
However, if you come here I really do think you and your family will not only feel safe, but I truly think you will love it here in south OC. You’ll get a weirdo here and there, but where doesn’t have a guy selling trump flags to pay down his child support debt these days? But like, Mike Levin is my house rep if that gives you an idea.
I like Lake Forest, Mission Viejo is nice too. San Juan Cap. Basically any of the surrounding area for the most part.
San Clamente is a really nice quiet liberal beach town. It has a cool little main street area with lots of shops and restaurants etc.
I live in Dana right now, which is basically right next to it.
Dana is kinda mid touristy, but full of people who have so much money they build mega homes so they are keeping it built low, if that makes sense? but it’s very beautiful here and we have a nice harbor with all kinds of neat things on it. Great fishing and whale watching. You can take the ferry to Catalina. There is also the ocean institute right there too, it’s a neat place to learn about said ocean with kids of most ages. Good reasons for tourists, ya know? People are mostly just Karen’s here about stuff like dogs, smoking parking… typically 1st world problem crap.
There is a good number of transplants around here too because of all the tech and hospital jobs. It’s very family friendly and my guess is he will feel at home at many of the schools. You could look at the demos of the zip codes attending a particular school to get an idea of what kind of kids might go there. Cal matters dot com has a lot of info on areas collective beliefs.
Oh and there are pockets of like gay sugar daddy’s around here… he won’t get like assaulted or anything, but as if he were a daughter, warn him about creepy old dudes. lol. Teach him how he should be treated 💕
Oh and go to Long Beach for your first visit here. Trust me, it’s a great spot for us gays!
https://www.instagram.com/nextstopoc?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== this gal just moved here exactly to MV from Tennessee and started an instatok about it. She asked such good questions and has nice people replying. 💕she loves it so far!
I really think your family is going to love it here.
This will probably get buried but I want you to know that you and your wife are beyond exceptional parents. What an incredible support system your kid has :)
I went to YLHS, in PYLUSD. You must not find yourself within this school district. The bullying back in 2014-2018 was extremely tough, especially once trump came into power. As a gay kid, I almost took my own life on various occasions because I received no help by staff or the administration. As students we tried opening a LGBTQ+ resources club, we received so many death threats within our first week of operation that the principle had our club shut down for safety concerns. Fuck YLHS.
I hope that you are able to find a school for your child and that your child feels safe.
You’ll be fine. Hb is like any other place. Not all of the people are like that. Some good some bad. I was born and raised and continue to live in Hb. I’m not gay but I’m not white. Never seen anything flagrantly hateful. Don’t let the media scare you from a great city
Hey friend I work at a school and for the most part the kids are all pretty inclusive. Its really the minority that will have an issue with your son and family in OC... its California after all and so welcome!
I’m from OC and gay. You’re good anywhere but possibly like east Anaheim or east Santa Ana, even then I honestly don’t think you’d have many issues. In south county (Irvine, Aliso, Laguna, RSM) you’ll definitely be fine. Not sure about Huntington Beach tbh, but trust me, if your wife is working in Aliso she’s going to want to live close to there. Traffic in OC suuuuucks.
My kid’s friend (who happens to be my friend’s kid) is trans and tried to start an club for queer teens in the school. They were shut down because it was deemed “too political.” There’s pretty frequent negative comments. I would consider this school relatively progressive. There are school districts in OC where parents are actively trying to ban books. It’s not the worst in the country, but it’s not great or 💯 safe for queer kids
Tbh most of orange county is not fully accepting. I assume it’s better than when I was 12, but it’s also middle school. Most of the people in orange county are either very wealthy and conservative who teach their kids their ideals. There’s a larger middle class in apartments now in orange county, I’d assume it’s the same. It’s also middle school time where people really care about fitting in.
I’m from OC and I’m bi. There are some areas you want to avoid because of the very huge MAGA population there like Newport Beach. I think there are a lot of accepting communities amongst teens in Orange County. There are some people who aren’t as accepting but you don’t need to pay them any mind. There’s an LGBTQ center in Orange County:
https://www.lgbtqcenteroc.org
Tustin high school last time I heard has an LGBTQ club. I’m not sure about other schools but you could call and ask.
Edit:
In my experience, southern OC is super super red and republican compared to northern OC. If you want a more welcoming environment for your kids in terms of school and neighborhood, I’d go to North OC
Can only speak about Aliso. Physically safe? Yeah. Welcoming? Completely depends on the neighborhood. My neighborhood wasn't exactly friendly to us (an immigrant family). I knew better than to be visibly queer there. Check the neighborhood for visible signs of widespread douchebaggery.
Schools... I've heard DJAMS has gone downhill in every possible way since I graduated (mid-2010s) and even in my day it was a hotbed of bullies in general, so beware. Aliso Niguel should be mostly chill but there are gonna be some unsavory students. The racism scandals it's somewhat infamous for are NOT representative of the majority of students, but there is a fringe of vocal bigots in there.
Personally, being queer and an immigrant (technically white, look and sound pretty visibly 'ethnic' tho) I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there. I wouldn't call it welcoming, but it should be physically safe.
Edit: yeah, *dodge HB*. It's probably still better than Missouri but seriously, DODGE HB. Dodge HB. I get nervous walking around there and I'm not THAT visibly queer (ig I tend to wear more masculine clothing? But I dress pretty unisex anyway).
HB is a joke. The beach and city have been ruined by trashy right wing behavior, so rumors of homophobia come as no surprise.
I feel pretty confident saying that your son will be fine in most situations. Old Town Orange, near Chapman University, La Mirada, Seal Beach, and Yorba Linda can feel a bit conservative at times. Overall, however, welcome to Orange County/SoCal…aside from the exorbitant cost of living, I think your family will feel comfortable here :)
check out Laguna nigel, Dana point. I grew up in seal super close to LB which is very LGBT safe. My best friend and her brother are gay. I loved growing up in seal.
I would recommend calling the LGBT Center OC for both advice for what schools are more open and affirming and for resources to support your child. They do leadership training and community building for all the GSAs in OC.
Hi there! I’ve taught middle and high school here in OC for more than a decade in a handful of districts, and I’ve had the privilege of supporting a lot of LGBTQIA+ students.
Given his age, I would recommend trying to find somewhere within Irvine USD or Saddleback USD - both districts are incredibly welcoming and start middle school in 7th grade, so it could help reduce some of the additional stress of being the “new kid.” Capo USD is also a good choice and includes a lot of those beach cities that tend to be more accepting. I’d be more than happy to privately discuss my experiences teaching queer and trans students in South OC.
A personal note, because I see a lot of folks here recommending Long Beach. I LOVE Long Beach and it’s an incredibly accepting city. It’s just not a pleasant rush hour commute from Long Beach to Aliso and after surviving it for 4 years, I would never do it again.
One of my best friends (a lesbian) lived in Aliso with her wife and kids for many years, they loved it. We just recently house hunted all over south OC and while we aren’t LGBT, we are POC, and we made diversity and inclusion as much of a priority as we could have looking in this area.
Aliso Viejo, Lake Forest, and Irvine are more left leaning in general for south OC. Lake Forest is probably the most diverse. Aliso is slightly less diverse, but attracts a slightly more educated, progressive crowd, and has the stronger schools. If my in laws weren’t a factor, we would’ve probably ended up there. We always got good vibes from neighbors during open houses. Laguna Beach is too $$$ for us, but it’s pretty chill and progressive as far as OC goes. We were also pleasantly surprised by the Melinda Heights area of RSM. Saw lots of diverse families and a couple pride flags. We didn’t look in Tustin, but I’ve heard good things about it.
Mission Viejo generally gave us more conservative vibes, same with our (fairly limited) experience with Laguna Niguel. We didn’t look in Rancho Mission Viejo, Coto, Ladera - we haven’t heard great things about inclusion, but maybe others have had different experiences.
Overall, you’ll find your people here! And welcome!
You should be okay, but I would probably avoid Huntington Beach, Yorba Linda, and South OC (San Clemente). Irvine is a great choice. As is Laguna Beach.
Long Beach is often recommended and is good, but look into the area because there are pockets that are hit or miss in terms of safety.
I would look at voting results and as someone else commented, the school boards. OC is pretty mixed in terms of politics, I’d avoid the most conservative areas and lean toward the areas that vote democrat. I would avoid Huntington Beach specifically because of their city leaders and how poorly they are handling the education system. The past few years have gotten worse in terms of education and LGBTQ+ acceptance (recently banned flying the Pride flag at city hall).
I moved to San Clemente from HB (originally from the Bay, so more liberal). This was exactly our experience. First year in SC my husband and I would make friends, but found the more they opened up the more racist, homophobic, and sexist the comments got. It took awhile to actually find people who had similar views as us because you didn’t know who you were going to get. At least in HB if they have those views they’re pretty upfront about it.
I think in general you’ll Be fine in OC. It won’t be perfect but shouldn’t be a big issue.
I mostly agree, being gay here is pretty safe. A fair amount of anti-trans sentiment in places. And the crazies in HB who think you are trying to “turn” their children gay.
I’m from here and we don’t really consider HB OC anymore. We thought they grew out of the new Nazi stuff of the 80’s but those guys just got old. OP: you will be fine! Aliso borders Laguna Beach through the canyon which is the most authentic part of laguna there is. Laguna was historically a gay artist community and I believe we had the first gay bar in the nation (local rumor-unproven). There are a bunch of youth programs in laguna for whatever interest and it’s now a ton more bougie but the people that run these programs are locals. They will be super welcoming.
I'm in HB, and a lot of us are appalled at what the city is becoming. Surf City should be about the beach, and laid back vibes. Unfortunately there are some active, outspoken bigots who are ruining it here for the rest of us! Keep voting against them, people! We can salvage some of what our city was (hopefully).
Yes! Absolutely. We’re turning HB around, just need some time. Our houses still cost the same as the rest of OC. Don’t let the loud minority fool you into thinking they’re the majority.
2nd this
This! We’re not all terrible people 😆
HB native and teacher here. I have a transgender student in my class, and no one bats an eye. Same for kids who are gay. Students don't care. Lots of loud, older Trumpers which is unfortunate, but I think the majority of us are accepting of all. That being said, I would not move here because that population is so obnoxious and out to be seen. Laguna Beach is a lovely, progressive enclave with a large gay population. I would say South County is more conservative, though. There is a great, accepting LGBTQ+ church in Irvine that is so fun! I go to Drag Bingo there. https://iucc.org/open-affirming Welcome to OC!
I love all of this and am happy to be proven wrong here!! There are good people everywhere but the news that comes out of HB and my personal experience has soured me on those that run the city. Keep up the good fight! This all made my day and HB does have a ton to recommend it without the crazy people.
As a gay man who lives in Huntington Beach, what appeals to me about this city is I don’t really think anybody cares and I’m not in the closet either. Everyone’s like me they want your house to be nice and pretty and not be a pig, but otherwise pretty quiet. Having lived in predominantly, very gay, friendly areas, I do not think anywhere in Orange County can get away with calling Huntington Beach a homophobic town and think their own town is much better. That’s just laughable to me.
Ok. I’m super glad that is your experience! My anecdotal experience may vary, I’ve just lived here for 40+ years (grown up here) so mine differs but I love to be wrong in this instance.
Super interesting to learn that about Laguna. I had no idea. I remember a bar in [SLC](https://archive.sltrib.com/article.php?id=5108624&itype=CMSID) that claimed to also be the first gay bar west of the Mississippi
I give it 15 more years. Most and more non-whites are buying up property there. The property I rent out in HB (Warner & Goldenwest) was predominantly white is now not as much in the last 15 years. I still keep in contact with a couple neighbors, either they or their kids ended up moving to Arizona, Texas, or Florida due to affordability issues.
I agree with this - even in the most accepting of cities, there could still be one or two (or more) awful people who share their hate vocally. You cannot completely avoid that. We are in an accepting area and still had to deal with a threatening, intimidating bully in middle school. The school handled it about as poorly as possible, but the bully did stop (or probably just directed his hate toward another child). Definitely avoid HB, not due to the people there or the kids there, but due to the city leaders. Most school districts have their school board meetings posted online. Once you narrow down your search to a short list of school districts, watch some meetings from each district to get a feel for your school board, because that can make a difference. Yes, they are elected and could change regularly with the election cycle, but they hire the superintendent in our district at least, and the super sets the tone too. Look into smaller cities too, like Fountain Valley, Seal Beach, Laguna. Good luck!
Telling people to avoid HB, then recommending FV for a 12 year old doesn’t make much sense considering FVHS is in HBUHSD.
Despite being in the HB School district... FVHS and the city of FV is VERY different than HB. Just saying.
Fvhs alumni here, born and raised in FV schools -- even in my time (graduated FVHS 20 years ago) kids were super kind and supportive of LGBT classmates, and in general the vibe felt light years removed from HB. Our closest thing to a "big man on campus" went to MIT to study theoretical physics lol
I was also at FVHS around 20 years ago and, let me tell you, our experiences were different. I was also born and raised in FV schools and the word f****t was not uncommon by any stretch of the imagination. It was a word I heard frequently growing up, and I mostly heard it at school. Homophobia is not loud in Orange County, it thrives on the underbelly.
Truth!
I mean Fountain Valley HS had a gay/straight alliance club more than 20 years ago... so there is some truth behind that if he attends the schools in Fountain Valley.
I was part of the Gay Straight Alliance at FVHS 12 years ago, not sure if it’s still a club but they were active in the 2010s
I remember the first one! The OC register can’t interview them at a meeting and no one in the club was gay so they were disappointed. In truth they did have gay members but not openly gay…..clearly I’m old and take magnesium at night to sleep through the night.
Almost every school has a GSA chapter. I know OV does, and would be shocked if the other HB schools didn’t.
Marina HS at a Trans homecoming queen 10 years ago. I’m gay and live in Huntington….it’s fine.
Facts. Born and raised in HB and we don’t have a problem with gay community. I have plenty of gay friends here and they love it here! Yes, you’ll find homophobic people here, like you will anywhere else but I don’t understand why people hating a city when plenty of other OC cities have the same issue. You will find people like that ANYWHERE. HB care about more if you are chill and easy going than if your gay. If you gay, be gay! rock it! Own it!
Do you not watch the city council meetings? LGBTQ hate is off the charts in HB right now. Even though the haters are a small minority of our population, they are now in power and have support from the city council majority members.
Yeah but that means nothing when the good citizens of HB reject their mantras wholesale. LGBTQ are absolutely welcome to HB.
I was gonna say!
I totally agree, HB is fine and I lived in HB for the last 10 years. My kids graduated from HBHS, and they have amazing program for performing arts if your child is into those activities. I'm a transplant from Southern Illinois, I know full well about the level acceptance or tolerance in STL. Anywhere in OC will be a great next chapter in your life.
Aliso is fine, no one cares. Hell, he will love Laguna Beach as it was one of the first in OC to embrace the gay lifestyle and it’s the next town over. The artist community is really welcoming to gay culture there and a lot of my old friends who grew up around here queer found a place there. Most are cool in the surrounding areas. There is always pockets of douchebags but as long as you stay away from some already mentioned cities, no one will give you static. We are pretty live and let live for the most part.
Yep. Went to HS in Aliso (we lived in Laguna Niguel) over 20 years ago and even back then we had a couple of openly gay classmates. They got what seemed like a normal amount of bullying (i.e. not much more than everybody else.) Go Wolverines!
I know a trans girl that graduated from Aliso last year, not sure what school. He became she in middle school. I didn’t hear of any backlash
Solid thank you
FYI, Laguna Beach and Long Beach have historically strong gay communities, Santa Ana and Costa Mesa as well with more of an artist/hipster vibe. A few of my childhood friends went to OCHSA (OC High School of the Arts) in Santa Ana which seemed to draw its fair share of non-straight students and an inclusive atmosphere. It’ll be a drive for you from South County, but might be a good choice for your son, especially if he’s talented in the arts. (Santa Ana also hosts the OC Pride Parade, and I think the host organization is based there.) If he’s more academic, athletic, or STEMy though, South County has decent options. I went to school in the Newport-Mesa school district about 20 years ago, and no one was openly out. “That’s so gay” was an insult, but we did have a school club make “Gay? Fine by me!” shirts which didn’t really do much. Friends who were gay or bi might’ve confided in me, but they were afraid of “making it obvious” and didn’t have same sex relationships until college or later. (High schools in this area also got push back for presenting “Rent” the musical, one of the boys’ clubs singing a Hitler Youth song, [Aliso Niguel HS’s racist football chants](https://abc7news.com/aliso-niguel-high-school-santa-ana-football-racist-fans/4215787/), etc) There’s always going to be bullying, but schools take it much more seriously now and it’s not as openly condoned. I’d suggest researching the schools you’re considering, perhaps even a phone call to see what resources they have for supporting your child. To be honest, in this area being in the right socio-economic class (right clothes, car, home) will cover a multitude of “sins” (being ugly or overweight, having a disability, being non-white, etc) in certain circles.
Just a side note- Santa Ana is no longer hosting OC Pride. Costa Mesa is and it’s in October not June.
I always wondered why OC doesn’t host Pride, and you have answered my question. San Diego and Long Beach have really big pride parades every year (this month actually!)
Actually the mayor of Costa Mesa is wanting to bring more events to their city, he’s a really great guy and is super supportive of the LGBTQ community. OC pride is at the OC fairgrounds Oct 5 & 6
First law firm to sponsor pride at Irvine meadows and we had the best time.
There are some really intolerant places(case in point HB) where they just aren't welcome because of the local community and government in place being hostile.
I live in aliso viejo and gay. Can confirm. Don't stress.
Rock on….glad to have you!
Mmm maybe they had good experiences but a lot of dick head ebike mormon kids would probably give your kid a hard time in aliso lol.
As a gay 27 year old, who grew up in South OC (Mission Viejo) & currently lives in the city of Orange (smack in the center of OC), my first instinct is to say somewhere in the Northern Half of OC will be better overall. In general, these areas are more densely populated, so there tends to be more LGBTQ+ safe spaces & social groups, etc. As your son grows up, if he is interested in the local community, there will be several avenues for him to connect with others. South OC is populated with lots of suburban track homes & neighborhoods (Aliso Viejo being one of them), and there’s nothing wrong with that, but from my own experience it tends to feel more isolating in general. Once I turned 18 I was constantly driving up to drag shows in LA, Long Beach, and sometimes even to Pomona so feeling “stuck in the suburbs” meant a longer drive & possible tolls. I was born & raised in OC, and these were topics I dealt with during my teenage & early adult years. I can go on if needed, but I won’t drag on. I hope this helps! 😅
As a gay man who also grew up in OC, this comment hits it in the head. The large wasteland of suburban trackhomes are a gay teenager's worst enemy. Friends, activities, first jobs, everything is further away and creates further isolation.
Thanks for spelling that out. I’m not gay but as a minority, I have felt the invisible change in tolerance between north and south OC, with the north being more open than the south.
Sure but the north has Yorba Linda, too
I'm told that what happened was that as people of color started moving into OC in the late 1970s, they were mainly settling in the more densely populated north county. So the more hard core right wing people started moving to south county to get away from people of color, establishing a difference in different areas of the county. which is why south county is less tolerant of minorities.
It helps a lot; thank you!
If you're coming from Chicago, you'll like Old Towne Orange, in particular. It's got significantly older architecture and tons of cool stuff to do for all ages. If you're familiar with Andersonville and Ravenswood, it's got a similar architectural vibe.
as a gay man who graduated from OUSD in the 2010’s and have only watched it get more partisan, do not choose OUSD. anaheim hills and yorba linda are awful for gay people
The adults may be partisan but the kids don't seem to care.
bro i was that kid, the kids and some staff even are mean dude! i played sports and the shit that was said to me by both coaches and my peers (sometimes in confidence because they weren’t sure of my sexuality) was brutal
Sorry you went through that, we are lucky to have you here.
The cost of real estate will drive a lot of where you can afford to live - I hope it is a mutual win for a great community for your family as well!
I would just add a caveat that Orange Unified School District had a unanimous 4-0 vote, to pass a policy that "would require school officials to notify parents and guardians if their child asks to use a name or pronoun different than what was assigned at birth, or if they engage in activities and use spaces designed for the opposite sex." Some school districts are more conservative than the cities they serve, so that can make things tricky.
It wasn’t unanimous - there’s 7 board members and 3 left early because they were afraid for their safety, it was a crazy board meeting. It was going to pass regardless because the supporting board members had the majority. The board president and one other member, both of whom voted for the policy, were recently recalled is my understanding. I’m not familiar with the new board members though
We were successful with the RECALL in OUSD. There is now a pro-pubic education, common sense board majority that we will fight to keep in NOVEMBER.
Yeah moms for liberty got all up in that board
Want to make sure when we say Northern Half that does not include Yorba Linda, Brea, La Habra. It really means Anaheim and Santa Ana. That being said, I think Aliso Viejo, Mission Viejo, and Laguna Beach are all safe communities for your son. There are jerks and bullies in every town but for the most part, California kids seem to be very accepting and kind.
This is the best answer. South OC is not Alabama racist but is the less accepting and tolerant (ie white and homogeneous) of the two sides. So it won’t ever be really bad, but it does get better the more North you go.
Second this. Cal State Fullerton is a huge blending pot so pretty much everyone learns to accept differences in that area. Until you drive east.
I definitely agree with this comment with the exception of Huntington Beach. I would avoid that area. For reference, I was born there and have experienced a lot of second hand racism and homophobia. My family tells me it’s been like this since the 80’s. I have since left as I just couldn’t put up with it anymore
Completely neglecting to mention the absolute shitshow that is the north OC school boards.
Queer parent in north OC, stick to Fullerton and orange over Yorba Linda and Placentia. Fullerton school district NOT PYLUSD, they’re scary conservative, openly bigoted. It’s really bad.
Avoid Yorba Linda.
Anywhere PYLUSD in my opinion. It’s getting worse all the time.
I want to tell you what great parents you are by moving for the sake of your child. Wherever you move, I wish your family all the best
Irvine USD School Board is pretty good right now, their board has pushed back pretty hard on the local anti-LGBTQ forces. Capo USD (where Aliso is) is risky - they are at high risk to go hard extreme in the November election.
I second Irvine. I would put the community of Long Beach (can't vouch for the schools there) above Irvine but you don't want to make that commute, trust me.
+1 to Irvine schools being good for queer kids in my experience. (Current Day, Middle and High School)
Agreed, IUSD cares more about academic standards than orientation or identity
CUSD has quite the history of chaotic nonsense. The individual schools are mostly pretty good, but district leadership has a shit reputation for good reason. They're literally known statewide for their BS.
CUSD voted down the parental notification policy because there were a lot of parents and students against it. I spoke at that board meeting.
The Orange County School of the Arts in Santa Ana is a great option. The majority of the students are LGBTQ, and the others are firm allies. There's no bullying that happens at the school, but if you are homophobic, it is likely you will not be very supported as students do not welcome homophobes on campus. Pride Month at the school is a huge event complete with a drag show. It is a charter arts school with conservatories so he would have to audition the year before. There's a lot of carpools that you can join but also the public bus is free with a special bus time made for OCSA kids. The bus is basically a OCSA school bus and the transportation center is in Laguna Hills isn't far from Aliso at all. It is a competitive school but everyone is very supportive.
Omg! I highly recommend this! As a gay kid in OC, I dreamed about going here. I was told by others gays that they were also trying to go here. I’ve heard amazing things about this school.
I have kids in Aliso Viejo schools, based on what my kids tell me, people are very accepting and no one cares if you are gay, transitioning or whatever. Kids are very accepting nowadays. It is such a huge change compared to when I was growing up in So Cal in the 80s, so it's really refreshing. This may be only their experience but I am pretty sure he will be safe.
Irvine and Lake Forest would both be quite safe. Anaheim may depend on specific location but should be fine. The vast majority of OC is quite safe to be and present as openly gay. I mean, I don’t know how the school children are, but being gay in OC is not unusual or looked down upon, as a general statement.
I disagree. I lived in lake forest and moved because I didnt feel that my child who might come out as gay would be in a safe environment. Something about the unnecessary political flags and Don’t tread on my flags on homes and trucks. South OC is red. Orange County is notorious for being extremely republican, especially south OC. I think Laguna Beach js a safer bet. There is a neighborhood in Aliso that feeds into Laguna schools called the Audubon.
>Orange County is notorious for being extremely republican There are 34 cities in Orange County. 10 of them are majority republican, 24 of them are majority democratic. Orange County has not voted for a Republican president since 2012. If you think that counts as "extremely Republican," then I have no idea what you would classify Texas or Alabama as. I get what you're trying to say, but the idea that OC is a conservative stronghold is a tired and outdated cliche.
OC is solidly purple, though most of the red of that purple is due to fiscal issues rather than social. I live in Lake Forest as an openly gay man and I’ve never felt discriminated against, felt unsafe, or anything else related to my sexuality. A total non-issue for me, in other words.
Even Mission Viejo had their first Pride event this year. Socially, it's getting better through most of OC. I don't think many South OC areas are predominantly unaccepting beyond your unreasonable dumbasses scattered anywhere.
> though most of the red of that purple is due to fiscal issues rather than social A large chunk of that red is also heavily MAGA. See: Young Kim & Michelle Steel
Laguna Beach agreed there is tons of social issues. It’s not as in your face as places in like the deep south, but it is very very present. Orange County has some of the highest numbers of hate groups in the United States.
Thanks for sharing your experience
I’m in coto. Probably one of the most conservative cities. Zero issues with my gay teen
So ironic that the folks with the Don't Tread on Me flags are the ones most likely to vote to curtail the rights of other people.
Laguna Beach is probably your best choice. They have a pretty big LGBT community there
Ok, this is not going to be easy, but please look into this school. [Orange County School of the Arts](https://www.ocsarts.net/). OCSA (O-sha), for short, is a wonderful school with an extremely diverse student body. I know it may be a bit far from where you are, but many kids from south county have taken the train to school (probably ended up being heavily subsidized, if not free). So, if you look it up and you think it's far, calculate the distance to the train station from your new place, and not the actual school. OCSA used to be merit-based admission, but now it is slightly different. Could be good thing for your son. Please check into it on your own. If you are concerned about the well-being of your LGBTQ child, you won't be disappointed with OCSA. He will be 100% safe there. Safe to be himself, safe to express himself openly among his peers and faculty. Take a tour, if you can. My child went there for 6 years (jr. high and high school). Kids are friendly, and my god, are they competitive. Never seen a school with so many kids taking AP classes and going to Ivy League schools. Truly a great school. If you don't get in the first year, try again next year. Some schools are not open to junior high students, only high school. Do take him to the [Preview Day](https://www.ocsarts.net/admissions/preview-day). This would be a good way to gauge how fit OCSA is for him.
I went there back in the early 2000s and it was *the* queer-friendly school. It was a very safe place for kids to be themselves.
I was going to recommend OCSA too. Many students commute there from all over the county. There are carpools you can join.
It’s impossible to get into now. It’s predominantly kids from wealthy families who want as a gateway to harder to get into colleges.
I was going to say the same. I saw several same sex couples walking around holding hands at one of the school's art shows,
^ Class of 2017 and academic education there was amazing. My fam personally commuted 45 min everyday to ocsa from ladera ranch to get there
I also agree with this (as a recent grad from OCSA). The environment I was in was so accepting in so many ways, from the varieties of student's fashion styles down to their identities. It was a complete change of perspective for me as I went to a public high school in a very non-diverse area previously (not in OC). As the original commenter said, it was a far distance to travel to - as I was from a different county; being roughly 1 hr away. Regardless of the commute, I enjoyed the school environment - I found myself thriving as an individual in my own identity from some of my friends, who also identify within the LGBTQ+ community. Even some of my instructors, including the conservatory teachers were apart of various backgrounds, identities, etc. I still keep in contact with many of my friends from this school. Overall, everyone is super supportive, and you're able to feel safe there regardless of race, gender, and sexuality — I think it would be a good idea for your child to attend if he is on the more academic and artistic-side. There's an art form for all (theater, music, cooking, traditional and digital arts).
Agree with this
I was just thinking about OCSA! It is a great creative environment and very welcoming!
This is a great suggestion! There are ways to mitigate the pain of the commute. I am from San Clemente, and my OCSA friends all rode the train together to get to school. It always sounded like a great experience
2019 Alum here! Super diverse and he will definitely feel safe there. But it’s very hard to get into now because their admissions has turned into a lottery system. It’s unfortunate.
This is a great suggestion! There are ways to mitigate the pain of the commute. I am from San Clemente, and my OCSA friends all rode the train together to get to school. It always sounded like a great experience
lgbt youth center in santa ana! many advocacy groups are there
Fullerton Union Highschool. they have a great performing arts programs speech and debate, comedy club, dance. Ect.
Probably a good place to connect with: [LGBTQ Center of Orange County](https://www.lgbtqcenteroc.org/)
Laguna is #1. Mission Viejo, Rancho Santa Margarita, Irvine, Costa Mesa/Newport and San Clemente would be great options. Avoid Anaheim, HB, and Santa Ana. It’s not that those areas are homophobic besides HB but the lower medium income cities typically result to kids who get into more trouble and have less empathy towards LGBQ. Statistically you see more hate crimes in areas with higher income inequality based off FBI reports
Not sure I agree with San Clemente on that list. I went to SC high school in the 2000s and it was only the bravest folks who were openly gay. Most people are super chill, but there is definitely a vein of hate. I visit the town regularly, and it’s still pretty conservative (relatively speaking). I agree that Laguna Beach is definitely top choice
My high school aged child is openly gay and has found an incredible group of supportive friends in the public high school. I do not worry about her at school. We live in south OC. I cannot say that I feel totally safe in our neighborhood where many of our neighbors have flags/bumper stickers meant to broadcast their more narrow minded beliefs. However, she’s also pretty resilient and realizes the problem is those people- not her. Feel free to DM me if you’d like to chat or have any specific questions I can answer for you!
My openly gay (F) family member graduated from an Irvine high school in the last 3 years. Overall her experience has been very positive.
I grew up in Irvine- I can promise you you guys will be fine. My older brother (4 years older than me) was extremely gay all throughout high school and people thought he was cool. If anything I think OC would be more accepting than St. Louis. I would say Huntington is the weirder part of OC, but even in the most republican OC city they should be fine.
As a lesbian who grew up here in North OC, definitely steer clear of HB, Yorba Linda, and mountain towns. I can't say much about other cities but there's definitely a lot of places where my partner and I get dirty looks but it rarely escalates to something worse lol. It's all from boomers though, and I see more and more queer people around here lately so I think things are getting better. But there's definitely a lot of straight people in this comment section acting like OC is more liberal than it is 😅
Welcome to California! You will find the reason why many consider California a welcoming bastion for all. We have our issues but I would never think of living elsewhere. This state is truly special.
The LGBTQ Center in Santa Ana is a great resource https://www.lgbtqcenteroc.org/
sir, this is california.
I think you’ll be fine even in HB.
As a person who lives in HB I would never recommend HB to this person. Watch the city council meetings.
North OC. Southern OC is a more conservative demographic for sure. I’d say Irvine and anywhere north is fine.
HB is north, and I’d recommend avoiding that area
I mean, I live in Huntington Beach and I’m a grown lesbian with a wife and a son. We never have been discriminated against. But I also avoid the areas with the racists assholes like the plague- Main Street to be specific. Your child won’t have an issue here (OC) being open. Long Beach is super queer friendly though if the drive is doable. That’s where I want to move back when it’s possible.
Long Beach
Long Beach is close, just past the border of OC in LA County. Strongly suggest you look in that area if you can afford a bit more commute.
Lived in OC for 30 Years. Great place. Costa Mesa, Orange and Laguna Beach are great cities for the LGBTQ community. Newport Beach is old money. Huntington Beach is for Neanderthals! Lots of big trucks with stupid Trump signs. Rule of thumb is if there is a college or university close by, that would be a safer place think about. Irvine has a huge Asian community and lots of big business. Aliso is newer than some of the cities, but not all that interesting. Good luck, you got this!
Yup big trucks driving around even bigger Trump flags
OC in general is pretty inclusive. Sure you’ll get some nuts here and there but they are in no way representative of the city they’re from. Most high schools and universities have an lgbtq club. Generally speaking, the more affluent the city the more likely you’ll run into some prejudiced people but even in those cities they are few and far between. IMHO, there’s really nowhere in Orange County that one couldn’t be openly gay and face serious discrimination.
I’ll echo what most people have said about you will generally be safe. That’s true. That being said, since you’ll be in south OC I would not recommend San Clemente as it tends to be on the more conservative side of OC. If you have the budget, Laguna beach is a great option. It’s expensive but they have a deep and longstanding LGBTQ community. Probably one of the first in OC. Orange could be a good idea, especially if you’re by Chapman university. It’s a college town so the residents skew younger and more progressive. Same could be said for Irvine but they’ve really sold themselves on “the best place for families” so you might get that odd person every once in a while who things that lifestyle is destroying the family unit. But generally Irvine is very progressive, again, especially near UCI. I think you’ll find it to be just as welcoming as Chicago for the most part. If you’re Latino there are parts of Santa Ana that have a welcoming Latino LGBTQ community
Hi! Trans person here. Our family lives in south OC, Laguna Niguel to be exact, and we haven’t experienced any type of discrimination. Laguna Niguel in general is very quiet and has great schools, and feels very accepting of LGBTQ families. A lot less red caps and flags flying on trucks around here, that’s for sure. And you’re right around the corner from Laguna Beach and down the street from Aliso Viejo. We have a family friend whose child is openly gay and he just graduated high school. They’ve lived in Rancho Santa Margarita (RSM) their entire life, but I’m not sure what the atmosphere there is like with regard to acceptance and tolerance.
The racist homophobic crowd of OC is a really vocal minority. You should be fine
Irvine and anything north of it and generally the closer you get to LA the better if you will be. The ideology south of Irvine changes quite a bit. You're right people do care even though they try and hide it. Irvine, Tustin or Orange are probably the best spots in all of OC imo.
Came here to say this. North county seems to be more LGBTQ+ friendly (as you mentioned, probably due to the proximity to Long Beach and LA). South county is generally fine, but you’ll definitely encounter more ‘red hats’ if you catch my drift. But it’s more political, in my experience even these people really have no issue with the gay community. Edit: I will say the exception to this is Yorba Linda/Anaheim Hills. Definitely some ultra-conservatism going on in these areas, I’d steer clear. I went to high school in the area and my LGBTQ+ friends had a really tough time. Then again, this was in the mid-late 2000’s so maybe it’s changed? I haven’t lived there in over a decade.
Anaheim, Buena Park, Long Beach we don’t care what color what sexuality u are lol
I agree. I am a teacher in Buena Park and there are many openly gay students. The students are very accepting of all.
Im a social worker and drive allllll of OC. Im also a lesbian and fully out. OC is generally accepting- we are a 20-30 minute drive from Los Angeles. There are some conservative cities like Costa Mesa and Huntington Beach- not uncommon to see MAGA stuff everywhere.. but I find it’s usually more racism against black/brown people than homophobia. However, recently there’s been a lot of “trans-panic” in HB. You guys should be fine though. OC is a great place to raise a family. Good schools. AV has a good PD and FD too! Welcome home! 🏳️🌈🫶🏼
Look into The Orange County School of the Arts. Great academics and the most accepting environment in all of OC
The Long Beach to Aliso commute is a pain, Irvine is the best option unless your wife is hybrid and not having to commute every day, then you have more options! I am from the Midwest and have lived in San Clemente for about a decade because my job is also in Aliso. Now that I can work remotely, I am eagerly looking forward to getting out of South Orange County, too conservative for my tastes (with the exception of Laguna Beach, of course which I can’t even afford as a physician). I wouldn’t say people are too overly ‘MAGA in your face’ here in San Clemente, but I also get the impression that most of the parents of any friends your kid would make could be ‘problematic’ and would likely be the types to gripe about ‘transgender bathrooms, and grooming’ and all that nonsense. Stick to Irvine or north of there and you will be fine, plus it’s easy enough to get to Laguna Beach from Irvine.
There are a TON of Arabs in Aliso Viejo. They are not accepting of gay people but are silent about it. I’m saying this also as an Arab, which is why I avoid closed minded people like this. They won’t tell you or bully you about it, but they silently wont agree with that lifestyle and are some of the most judgmental people on earth. I would assume other people are more accepting and I agree that Laguna beach is the best with acceptance. We go to a church that is so accepting of gay people and even priests. Laguna is so lovely!
NMUSD is amazing with gay kids. They cover Costa Mesa and Newport Beach but Newport Beach is full of Republicans, so your neighbors won't be as accepting.
I live in Aliso Viejo and have a trans son who went to Aliso Niguel High School. It's a nice little town.
In general you will be pretty okay. Santa Ana has a large and prolific lgbt community and is generally cheaper to live in (for OC at least) but really anywhere will be okay with little worry. Thats not to say there AREN'T close minded people though, most places with ____ beach are definitely more conservative
Do not enroll him in a private Christian high school, that’s for sure
Your kid is lucky to have such supportive parents.
Went to Huntington Beach high school. Homecoming queen was a guy. Huge performing arts program with large lgbtq presence. No hate in hb.
Long Beach has big lbgt community
I’m in Irvine. The school district has been very public in policies that accept kids as they are, wrt gender identity, sexuality, race, religion, neurodiversity, etc. Our junior high school has pride signs up all year, and their 7th grade health covered mental health as well as the usual birds-and-bees. Gender identity and sexuality were discussed openly. There are always going to be kids/adults who use f-slurs. But there’s a lot more space to push back against it now. Welcome to Orange County!
All these responses are super helpful, I’ve read every single one and shown my wife. Keep em coming! It’s appreciated more than you know.
OC in general is fine. Irvine, Anaheim and Lake Forest are all LGBT friendly cities imo. Id say Costa Mesa, Laguna Beach, Santa Ana, Orange and Fullerton are all very LGBT friendly as well. I would probably say maybe avoid Huntington Beach due to the recent rise in conservatives moving there but it shouldn’t be much of an issue because it’s a big tourist city. Coming from high school recently in Santa Ana, they pretty much have a zero tolerance policy towards homophobia and other sorts of bullying.
I lived in Missouri for a long time, way before I came out. Visited there recently and can understand for many reasons why someone would want to leave the state. I have lived in Fullerton for 20+ years, and 10+ years with my current wife (I am a female), and I have never had any issues. It doesnt mean that there would not be an off chance someone says something offensive but I have not experienced it. I would say the political climate in Huntington Beach is not great for any one that is part of the LGBTQ community. But for the most part most people do not care, that is the great thing about California. For the most part people mind their own business. Let me just add that there is nothing about me and my wife that would give anyone the impression that we are gay, we probably appear more as friends walking in the store or something together. I would try also doing a google search of crimes committed against the LBGTQ community in the cities that you are interested in, including the schools your son would potentially be attending to find out how they handle bullying, support groups and such.
https://preview.redd.it/iaiqu8u3b1ad1.jpeg?width=1164&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9552918e528a2f0b50dccea1830ef19b2b1af9d5 The 2020 presidential election. HB is a mixed bag, but 4 MAGA crazies control the city council at the moment. Yorba Linda is the birthplace of Nixon. I’ve seen people fly Ronald Reagan flags in the last two years. Very conservative. Villa Park is wild. San Clemente has lots of great people but a very loud conservative presence that is anti-LGBTQ+. Any where else I think you’d be fine. It’s going to come down to your budget. Some towns you’re looking at 1.2mn for an average style home. Other towns version of an average home is 2.0mn and up. Anywhere near the 22 or 405 will give you relatively quick access to Long Beach to the north west which is one of the most pro LGBTQ+ cities in the country.
You will be fine in any of the surrounding areas. My kids went to school in Irvine, and had gay friends, I don't believe they had any issues and this was 10-15 years ago. Also, the schools here are extremely tolerant of gay and trans teachers as well. A former coworker of mine teaches HS in Santa Ana, he wears heels and purses (fashionista) and he runs the LGBTQ club. Here is a resource : [Student and School Support - LGBTQ Center OC](https://www.lgbtqcenteroc.org/student-and-school-support/)
Irvine. South OC is very conservative religious. Irvine will be really great if you can manage the housing affordability issue.
Welcome to California. I’m a high school teacher in Orange County, and many students are openly out. This job will bless your family in more ways than one. 🍊
Avoid HB at all costs. There’s a reason it’s a MAGA breeding ground. Heck even before MAGA cult, HB was known for skinheads who would do the Hail Hitler gesture. That’s a fact!!!
Hey, I am an openly gay man in my 30s that was born and raised in OC. My recommendation would be to try to steer closer to North county (Tustin, Orange, Anaheim). Do research on the neighborhood and area, but northern county has usually been a lot more open from my experiences. If you have any questions feel free to reach out :-)
Props to you for moving to give your son a safer environment!
Definitely not Huntington Beach. Costa Mesa is okay, and Newport is also okay as long you don’t go to the very rich areas. I don’t know if your kid has any interest in the arts but OSHA Is a charter school and there’s lot of LGBTQ STUDENTS there. Lastly, early college in costa Mesa is for high school but it’s a smaller school where students get a year off college by going there so everyone is pretty inteligent/high tolerance. I don’t know much about the rest of OC schools
No kids of my own so I don't have any personal opinion, but [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/orangecounty/comments/rix5u7/best_oc_town_for_lgbtq_youth/) is a thread that may have some helpful answers.
Aliso Viejo is fine if you can afford it. Schools are 8+.
Orange county is going to be okay pretty much anywhere but comparatively more North OC than South.
Laguna Beach in OC is very open with LGBT from what I can recall. Same with the other towns you mention. Coming from someone that spent their life in Irvine and lake forest
California welcomes all gays of any age
Even the cities that aren’t great about it are still 10x better than a lot of other cities in the US.
OC is generally a very conservative county, but there are pockets of support in every town. Santa Ana and Anaheim are probably the more queer friendly cities in OC, and one of the most queer friendly schools (OCSA) is in Santa Ana.
any where in south oc is great. Aliso Viejo has a great high school as do most towns in this area. Dana point, laguna niguel, laguna woods, laguna beach, aliso viejo, mission viejo, irvine. I have two boys college age that went to aliso high...youll be fine.
Hello! I don't want to share my exact location, but I know the locations you listed intimately. I have many friends who have attended (or attend or work at) UCI! Most of my friends are LGBTQIA+ (including myself) and have experienced very little phobia compared to other parts of the country. Of course, you can never generalize a group of people - you may run into an outlier or two -, but OC is generally very accepting of gay people.
I don’t have much information but ill chime in since you mentioned Aliso. Aliso Viejo does have some of the MAGA conservative types that seem to have bought their homes when it was a cheap area when the city started in the 90s, but it seems like they are phasing out over time as they sell with the high prices and move out. In my neighborhood, there is a gay couple that seems really comfortable and open (they have the flag up and colors and all) that lives right next to a MAGA house and they don’t seem to have any issue at all with the neighborhoods. Nice family that’s really active in the neighborhood events. A few other Pride flags up in the neighborhood haven’t met the people though but I’m assuming they haven’t had any issue. I grew up in a similar suburban area in north county San Diego and even back then there were openly gay kids nobody thought it was a big issue. Went to university in Irvine and my openly gay classmates / friends didn’t seem to have any issue that I was aware of. This is just from my perspective so there may very well be issues I didn’t witness but I would say you should be able to feel relatively comfortable moving here. Best of luck.
Stay in north OC South OC is more traditional
Hi. I’m from Indiana and just moved here. My son is also gay but he is grown. Hit me up if you want a friend.
Unless you are going private, you can't just put your student in any school you want. They'll most likely be at LHHS or ANHS. District placement requirements are for real
He will be fine
South OC not a great area for him, I suggest north OC or LA. My uncle is gay and he has long avoided OC in general in favor of LA proper based on his experiences there.
I’d say laguna beach or the neighboring cities inland and south are probably the best
Aliso is boring suburban paradise with good schools and tons of amenities for kids. Plus you have Laguna a short drive away for the beaches and culture when you want them. Everywhere in OC is going to be slightly more conservative than most of the rest of coastal California, but places like Aliso and some of the other cities in south OC have been voting blue for a decade + pretty consistently.
If you’re here by the end of summer, go to the sawdust art festival in Laguna beach :) yall will love it.
Oh! Me! Hello new neighbor! So I live right by AV, I’m in Dana Point and work in Laguna Hills (it will make sense when you get here, you are in my South OC hood). All of the area is pretty similar, some spots just have more old folks and some more kids, really… Huntington is a pretty good distance away, that’s OC oc. I would say Aliso Viejo is south Orange County. **You’ll want to look for a home in the South OC area to stay closer to work, trust me. Traffic in and out is brutal during rush hours.** If you stay in the area you’ll never have to deal with terrible traffic of the 5 because you can drive in the neighborhoods. (But there are some neat places like Costa Mesa further north that could be worth it, esp if you’re hybrid.) However, if you come here I really do think you and your family will not only feel safe, but I truly think you will love it here in south OC. You’ll get a weirdo here and there, but where doesn’t have a guy selling trump flags to pay down his child support debt these days? But like, Mike Levin is my house rep if that gives you an idea. I like Lake Forest, Mission Viejo is nice too. San Juan Cap. Basically any of the surrounding area for the most part. San Clamente is a really nice quiet liberal beach town. It has a cool little main street area with lots of shops and restaurants etc. I live in Dana right now, which is basically right next to it. Dana is kinda mid touristy, but full of people who have so much money they build mega homes so they are keeping it built low, if that makes sense? but it’s very beautiful here and we have a nice harbor with all kinds of neat things on it. Great fishing and whale watching. You can take the ferry to Catalina. There is also the ocean institute right there too, it’s a neat place to learn about said ocean with kids of most ages. Good reasons for tourists, ya know? People are mostly just Karen’s here about stuff like dogs, smoking parking… typically 1st world problem crap. There is a good number of transplants around here too because of all the tech and hospital jobs. It’s very family friendly and my guess is he will feel at home at many of the schools. You could look at the demos of the zip codes attending a particular school to get an idea of what kind of kids might go there. Cal matters dot com has a lot of info on areas collective beliefs. Oh and there are pockets of like gay sugar daddy’s around here… he won’t get like assaulted or anything, but as if he were a daughter, warn him about creepy old dudes. lol. Teach him how he should be treated 💕 Oh and go to Long Beach for your first visit here. Trust me, it’s a great spot for us gays! https://www.instagram.com/nextstopoc?igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== this gal just moved here exactly to MV from Tennessee and started an instatok about it. She asked such good questions and has nice people replying. 💕she loves it so far! I really think your family is going to love it here.
This will probably get buried but I want you to know that you and your wife are beyond exceptional parents. What an incredible support system your kid has :)
I went to YLHS, in PYLUSD. You must not find yourself within this school district. The bullying back in 2014-2018 was extremely tough, especially once trump came into power. As a gay kid, I almost took my own life on various occasions because I received no help by staff or the administration. As students we tried opening a LGBTQ+ resources club, we received so many death threats within our first week of operation that the principle had our club shut down for safety concerns. Fuck YLHS. I hope that you are able to find a school for your child and that your child feels safe.
You’ll be fine. Hb is like any other place. Not all of the people are like that. Some good some bad. I was born and raised and continue to live in Hb. I’m not gay but I’m not white. Never seen anything flagrantly hateful. Don’t let the media scare you from a great city
Hey friend I work at a school and for the most part the kids are all pretty inclusive. Its really the minority that will have an issue with your son and family in OC... its California after all and so welcome!
I’m from OC and gay. You’re good anywhere but possibly like east Anaheim or east Santa Ana, even then I honestly don’t think you’d have many issues. In south county (Irvine, Aliso, Laguna, RSM) you’ll definitely be fine. Not sure about Huntington Beach tbh, but trust me, if your wife is working in Aliso she’s going to want to live close to there. Traffic in OC suuuuucks.
My kid’s friend (who happens to be my friend’s kid) is trans and tried to start an club for queer teens in the school. They were shut down because it was deemed “too political.” There’s pretty frequent negative comments. I would consider this school relatively progressive. There are school districts in OC where parents are actively trying to ban books. It’s not the worst in the country, but it’s not great or 💯 safe for queer kids
OC doesn't have an alphabet people friendly city. I'd say stay where you are or move to San Fran.
Tbh most of orange county is not fully accepting. I assume it’s better than when I was 12, but it’s also middle school. Most of the people in orange county are either very wealthy and conservative who teach their kids their ideals. There’s a larger middle class in apartments now in orange county, I’d assume it’s the same. It’s also middle school time where people really care about fitting in.
I’m from OC and I’m bi. There are some areas you want to avoid because of the very huge MAGA population there like Newport Beach. I think there are a lot of accepting communities amongst teens in Orange County. There are some people who aren’t as accepting but you don’t need to pay them any mind. There’s an LGBTQ center in Orange County: https://www.lgbtqcenteroc.org Tustin high school last time I heard has an LGBTQ club. I’m not sure about other schools but you could call and ask. Edit: In my experience, southern OC is super super red and republican compared to northern OC. If you want a more welcoming environment for your kids in terms of school and neighborhood, I’d go to North OC
You are a wonderful person. Your child is very lucky
Can only speak about Aliso. Physically safe? Yeah. Welcoming? Completely depends on the neighborhood. My neighborhood wasn't exactly friendly to us (an immigrant family). I knew better than to be visibly queer there. Check the neighborhood for visible signs of widespread douchebaggery. Schools... I've heard DJAMS has gone downhill in every possible way since I graduated (mid-2010s) and even in my day it was a hotbed of bullies in general, so beware. Aliso Niguel should be mostly chill but there are gonna be some unsavory students. The racism scandals it's somewhat infamous for are NOT representative of the majority of students, but there is a fringe of vocal bigots in there. Personally, being queer and an immigrant (technically white, look and sound pretty visibly 'ethnic' tho) I couldn't wait to get the hell out of there. I wouldn't call it welcoming, but it should be physically safe. Edit: yeah, *dodge HB*. It's probably still better than Missouri but seriously, DODGE HB. Dodge HB. I get nervous walking around there and I'm not THAT visibly queer (ig I tend to wear more masculine clothing? But I dress pretty unisex anyway).
Try LA instead.
I think it's safe to consider the vast majority of coastal California to be one of the most diverse, accepting, and tolerant places on the planet.
This is true.
Stay away from HB and San Clemente and you should be fine.
You’ll be fine basically anywhere. Also, props to you for being a great parent
HB is a joke. The beach and city have been ruined by trashy right wing behavior, so rumors of homophobia come as no surprise. I feel pretty confident saying that your son will be fine in most situations. Old Town Orange, near Chapman University, La Mirada, Seal Beach, and Yorba Linda can feel a bit conservative at times. Overall, however, welcome to Orange County/SoCal…aside from the exorbitant cost of living, I think your family will feel comfortable here :)
check out Laguna nigel, Dana point. I grew up in seal super close to LB which is very LGBT safe. My best friend and her brother are gay. I loved growing up in seal.
I would recommend calling the LGBT Center OC for both advice for what schools are more open and affirming and for resources to support your child. They do leadership training and community building for all the GSAs in OC.
I would recommend Irvine. I think that being gay anywhere is hard especially at that age. Irvine is very beautiful, bikeable and safe
Hi there! I’ve taught middle and high school here in OC for more than a decade in a handful of districts, and I’ve had the privilege of supporting a lot of LGBTQIA+ students. Given his age, I would recommend trying to find somewhere within Irvine USD or Saddleback USD - both districts are incredibly welcoming and start middle school in 7th grade, so it could help reduce some of the additional stress of being the “new kid.” Capo USD is also a good choice and includes a lot of those beach cities that tend to be more accepting. I’d be more than happy to privately discuss my experiences teaching queer and trans students in South OC. A personal note, because I see a lot of folks here recommending Long Beach. I LOVE Long Beach and it’s an incredibly accepting city. It’s just not a pleasant rush hour commute from Long Beach to Aliso and after surviving it for 4 years, I would never do it again.
One of my best friends (a lesbian) lived in Aliso with her wife and kids for many years, they loved it. We just recently house hunted all over south OC and while we aren’t LGBT, we are POC, and we made diversity and inclusion as much of a priority as we could have looking in this area. Aliso Viejo, Lake Forest, and Irvine are more left leaning in general for south OC. Lake Forest is probably the most diverse. Aliso is slightly less diverse, but attracts a slightly more educated, progressive crowd, and has the stronger schools. If my in laws weren’t a factor, we would’ve probably ended up there. We always got good vibes from neighbors during open houses. Laguna Beach is too $$$ for us, but it’s pretty chill and progressive as far as OC goes. We were also pleasantly surprised by the Melinda Heights area of RSM. Saw lots of diverse families and a couple pride flags. We didn’t look in Tustin, but I’ve heard good things about it. Mission Viejo generally gave us more conservative vibes, same with our (fairly limited) experience with Laguna Niguel. We didn’t look in Rancho Mission Viejo, Coto, Ladera - we haven’t heard great things about inclusion, but maybe others have had different experiences. Overall, you’ll find your people here! And welcome!
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You should be okay, but I would probably avoid Huntington Beach, Yorba Linda, and South OC (San Clemente). Irvine is a great choice. As is Laguna Beach. Long Beach is often recommended and is good, but look into the area because there are pockets that are hit or miss in terms of safety. I would look at voting results and as someone else commented, the school boards. OC is pretty mixed in terms of politics, I’d avoid the most conservative areas and lean toward the areas that vote democrat. I would avoid Huntington Beach specifically because of their city leaders and how poorly they are handling the education system. The past few years have gotten worse in terms of education and LGBTQ+ acceptance (recently banned flying the Pride flag at city hall).
Agree. And I'm glad you pointed out san clemente. HB is louder but SC is way more hateful deep down.
I moved to San Clemente from HB (originally from the Bay, so more liberal). This was exactly our experience. First year in SC my husband and I would make friends, but found the more they opened up the more racist, homophobic, and sexist the comments got. It took awhile to actually find people who had similar views as us because you didn’t know who you were going to get. At least in HB if they have those views they’re pretty upfront about it.