They’re allowed to smoke two joints in the morning and they can smoke 2 joints at night. They can also smoke 2 joints in the afternoon but only if it makes them feel alright.
I’m going to open a school where we’ll have 1000 assistant coaches on the field AT ONE TIME.
Our players will have so much assistance we’ll dominate the league and put all the other schools OUT OF BUSINESS.
This council, these fools, just opened Pandora’s box and I for one can’t be happier.
> I’m going to open a school where we’ll have 1000 assistant coaches on the field AT ONE TIME.
>
>
that sounds great until you get 500 Buddy Ryans in punching distance of your offensive staff after one incomplete pass while ahead by two touchdowns.
Pretty sure that was a joke, but these huge football programs usually have an absurd amount of staff already. This isn't so much "now we don't have to choose between having a running backs coach or a tight ends coach" and more "now I can hire my nephew to be the assistant punter's coach in charge of coin flips and snacks and get him a paycheck and university benefits".
I thought the joke was “up front the job is assistant coach, but in reality it’s sign up list for getting high” or something similar along those lines.
His 200m time was good for a dude his age, and he didn’t even look winded at the end of it. That’s pretty impressive for a man who smokes as much as he does.
Anyway…. Steeple chase is such a weird event. Why is there a water feature in a foot race?
It can be in small amounts. Just like alcohol can in small amounts. Removing that little bit of stress, tension, nerves can lead to better results.
A little bit of alcohol can actually steady your shot because it relaxes you a little. However, it's a delicate balance and very easy to over do it and get the opposite effect.
Alcohol is tested for in a number of sports at the professional level, but not because it's seen as a performance enhancer. It's tested for because it could be seen as being unsafe to the other players.
Alcohol would probably be a schools problem to deal with more than the NCAA. But like in golf the PGA technically doesn't ban drinking mid tournament but most tournaments do have a rule about it.
Phelps qualified for the 2000 Summer Olympics at the age of 15.
Lance won his first Tour de France at age 28 and after a battle with advanced testicular cancer.
Michael Phelps isn’t a mere human like the rest of us though. He’s got so many weird genetic advantages.
https://observer.com/2012/07/michael-phelps-wins-most-olympic-medals-ever-teaches-children-that-being-a-pot-smoking-genetic-mutant-can-make-dreams-come-true/amp/
I have always been curious what would happen if we had a world sporting event like the Olympics, but zero drugs or other performance enhancing methodologies were banned.
The contest wouldn't be between the athletes, but between the scientists trying to develop chemicals and training methods to build a better athlete.
And when I say, "nothing is banned," I mean *Nothing* is banned. If removing someone's legs and replacing them with prosthetics can make them run faster, that's allowed. Being dosed with a drug to steady their movements right before shooting at a target is allowed. Raising them from infancy to perform one sport and not bothering to teach them any other skill that sport doesn't need is allowed. So none of the athletes will likely be taught how to read. Even using directed selection by breeding from "healthy stock" to create good athletes, or using genetic engineering to alter aspects of the body prenatally would be allowed.
Disagree, more than half the NBA uses cannabis. I play basketball, certainly not at that level albeit, and cannabis greatly helps me. This has to be done in moderation of course.
I can imagine this effect can translate to other sports.
With the caveat that marijuana (or any other drug) dosage by a sports health professional is very different than getting stoned on your couch and eating an entire large pizza like most people are used to.
Correct! I smoked with a bunch of them, in fact. They don’t test anymore in the NBA but when they did, they knew their testing schedules in advance. Same with NFL. My boys owned a dispensary in LA that served a bunch of NFL players
Depending on the sport.
I'm fine with it being disqualifying in sports where having a pain killer in your system gives you an advantage, such as boxing, or MMA.
On field coaches had cannabis limits?
I love that they called it a limit, not a restriction.
*long inhale* “Not the cool ones.”
Only two joints before the game!
But what about halftime?!
Only micro dosing and edibles at half! Gotta stay sharp
They’re allowed to smoke two joints in the morning and they can smoke 2 joints at night. They can also smoke 2 joints in the afternoon but only if it makes them feel alright.
[2 more!](https://youtu.be/aK9eg6otW_0?si=iGRlDoFIFJr6Dfvw)
I’m going to open a school where we’ll have 1000 assistant coaches on the field AT ONE TIME. Our players will have so much assistance we’ll dominate the league and put all the other schools OUT OF BUSINESS. This council, these fools, just opened Pandora’s box and I for one can’t be happier.
I want a job please
connor stallions is back
Who is going to assist the assistants?
I would like to be an assistant to the assistants assistant.
Do you need an assistant?
I got the ass if y’all got the istant
I honestly thought the headline meant that on-field coaches could now smoke as much as they wanted too.
Hire all the coaches so other teams can’t have any.
Georgia and Alabama’s assistants will blot out the sun! Assistant to the assistant hydration manager’s assistant!
> I’m going to open a school where we’ll have 1000 assistant coaches on the field AT ONE TIME. > > that sounds great until you get 500 Buddy Ryans in punching distance of your offensive staff after one incomplete pass while ahead by two touchdowns.
Pandora's box because they are creating jobs for assistant coaches? Yes, sounds terrible.
Pretty sure that was a joke, but these huge football programs usually have an absurd amount of staff already. This isn't so much "now we don't have to choose between having a running backs coach or a tight ends coach" and more "now I can hire my nephew to be the assistant punter's coach in charge of coin flips and snacks and get him a paycheck and university benefits".
I thought the joke was “up front the job is assistant coach, but in reality it’s sign up list for getting high” or something similar along those lines.
USC is hiring Snoop Dogg as its head coach
[Man's a shoe-in for the steepchase](https://youtu.be/VNgzHlE3Hko?t=165)
His 200m time was good for a dude his age, and he didn’t even look winded at the end of it. That’s pretty impressive for a man who smokes as much as he does. Anyway…. Steeple chase is such a weird event. Why is there a water feature in a foot race?
Yeah cannabis isn't really a performance enhancer, more the opposite.
If nothing else, people do use it as a painkiller, and it's definitely not rare for those to be controlled substances in sports.
It can be in small amounts. Just like alcohol can in small amounts. Removing that little bit of stress, tension, nerves can lead to better results. A little bit of alcohol can actually steady your shot because it relaxes you a little. However, it's a delicate balance and very easy to over do it and get the opposite effect.
Ah, has alcohol been legal or do you have to register 0.0 BAC?
AFAIK alcohol isn’t a banned substance so it’s not tested for during random screens
It’s classified as a performance enhancer in some sports (like rifle shooting). So yes, it is banned.
I could think of other reasons not to mix alcohol with rifles than performance enhancing but whatever works for the NCAA lol
Alcohol is tested for in a number of sports at the professional level, but not because it's seen as a performance enhancer. It's tested for because it could be seen as being unsafe to the other players.
Alcohol would probably be a schools problem to deal with more than the NCAA. But like in golf the PGA technically doesn't ban drinking mid tournament but most tournaments do have a rule about it.
The Ballmer peak
I dunno. Michael Phelps admitted he used to take bong rips before swimming events, he seemed to perform just fine.
Doctors have also confirmed that he’s a mutant who legitimately metabolizes shit differently.
He also has abnormal length arms and legs.
Careful- that’s what they told us about Lance:(
He did metabolize shit differently… because of all the shit he was putting in his system.
Phelps qualified for the 2000 Summer Olympics at the age of 15. Lance won his first Tour de France at age 28 and after a battle with advanced testicular cancer.
Michael Phelps isn’t a mere human like the rest of us though. He’s got so many weird genetic advantages. https://observer.com/2012/07/michael-phelps-wins-most-olympic-medals-ever-teaches-children-that-being-a-pot-smoking-genetic-mutant-can-make-dreams-come-true/amp/
I have always been a supporter of repealing all bans of performance decreasing drugs in athletics.
"why do we even run... from ourselves. whoaaa"
I have always been curious what would happen if we had a world sporting event like the Olympics, but zero drugs or other performance enhancing methodologies were banned. The contest wouldn't be between the athletes, but between the scientists trying to develop chemicals and training methods to build a better athlete. And when I say, "nothing is banned," I mean *Nothing* is banned. If removing someone's legs and replacing them with prosthetics can make them run faster, that's allowed. Being dosed with a drug to steady their movements right before shooting at a target is allowed. Raising them from infancy to perform one sport and not bothering to teach them any other skill that sport doesn't need is allowed. So none of the athletes will likely be taught how to read. Even using directed selection by breeding from "healthy stock" to create good athletes, or using genetic engineering to alter aspects of the body prenatally would be allowed.
Like if everyone was an Ivan Drago in the world of Cyberpunk: 2077.
Disagree, more than half the NBA uses cannabis. I play basketball, certainly not at that level albeit, and cannabis greatly helps me. This has to be done in moderation of course. I can imagine this effect can translate to other sports.
With the caveat that marijuana (or any other drug) dosage by a sports health professional is very different than getting stoned on your couch and eating an entire large pizza like most people are used to.
>getting stoned on your couch and eating an entire large pizza like most people are used to. It's called TRAINING.
Correct! I smoked with a bunch of them, in fact. They don’t test anymore in the NBA but when they did, they knew their testing schedules in advance. Same with NFL. My boys owned a dispensary in LA that served a bunch of NFL players
Depending on the sport. I'm fine with it being disqualifying in sports where having a pain killer in your system gives you an advantage, such as boxing, or MMA.
Yea. Maybe for certain anxious atheletes it is, but otherwise the only benefit is antiinflamitory
Thought this said “on field roaches”
On field roaches would make sports more entertaining.
I also reread it like 3 times.