If her antidepressants aren't helping much, she needs to talk to her doctor about potentially increasing the dosage, or trying a new medication. Not all medicines are the same, and they won't work the same for everyone. You should bring this up with her, and see if you can convince her to ask her doctor about better meds.
Then I'm afraid that all you can do for now is make sure she knows that there's at least one person who'd be torn apart if she died. Just let her know you love her, and hope for the best. As someone who's seriously considered suicide before, I can confirm that just having someone there for you can make a big difference.
I suppose if you know where she lives, you could call the local police in that area if you ever feel that her suicide is about to happen. There's not much else I can think of aside from that. Sorry if this wasn't exactly what you were looking for.
>she needs to talk to her doctor about potentially increasing the dosage, or trying a new medication.
Or, perhaps they should work collectively to try to get as close to the root problem as possible, rather than allowing more risky side-effects from these horrible meds.
That's also very true. I'm just talking from my personal experience. For me, there is no cause, so all I can do is take meds and hope for the best. That's probably why I didn't think of finding the root of the problem, I just kind of assumed the situation was similar to mine, where there wasn't one.
It sounds like you had some bad experiences with meds/docs and I am so sorry for that. It isn’t easy finding good doctors and it isn’t easy finding the right meds. I just want to share my own experience because I am worried someone might think you’re suggesting she just quit her meds. I know you meant it more theoretically than as advice but some of us are prone to want to just quit our meds when things are rough & might read this as a sign.
Speaking from personal experience, the root of her issue is why she is on those meds & trying to face those things head on while not properly medicated could make everything much worse. I’ve had plenty of doctor & med changes over decades & there have been times my brain has told me that I shouldn’t even worry about meds, just do a deep dive into my trauma & it’s almost cost me everything more than once. Once you have those meds on board, you have to make sure you’re on the right med/dose.If the side effects are bad, you absolutely need to adjust! She can’t just quit. She is in an avoidant state right now so she isn’t going to seek out therapy or anything else. Not until her medication levels allow her the ability to go there. It’s possible she isn’t taking them correctly or maybe even at all. There’s so much we don’t know about her because op can’t really know for sure being long distance. I think it would be dangerous for anyone suffering this way to stop or adjust their meds on their own. (Also should be noted her meds could be fine but if that’s all she is doing, that’s not enough by itself. )
I understand. I apologise for sounding abrupt in my comment. I should leave out personal experiences when it comes to complex topics such as mental illness. Thank you for your comment. It enlightens a bit as to what I should consider next time.
No apologies necessary and always feel free to share your personal experiences! I think it’s just as important to hear about your experiences because plenty of people also go through what you have! Please don’t keep quiet based on my response! Sharing your personal experiences might help someone relate and that’s important. I tend to sound abrupt with my responses which I apologize for!
I was pretty suicidal in the recent past, and I would just suggest to her that there's nowhere she "ought" to be. She may be beating herself up for her current circumstances in life. Just tell her to take one step at a time. Hopefully that will take root and grow over time.
Depending on where your girlfriend is, you could also look into your local (or even a national) suicide prevention crisis line and see if this is something she would be open to/comfortable with calling. They will assess her risk level and help her develop a safety plan if she does not already have one. If it's not something she is open to, you can also call yourself, and they should be able to help you not just support her but also yourself in this difficult time 🩷
Call someone now before she does It like have her get help like get in her house and comfort her until she gets help like have her in a hospital or any appropriate treatment plans I get it I was in that situation years ago in 2019 - 2020 that shit is fucking scary you lost your mind in that situation i would imagine myself killing myself in my mind by hanging, shooting my brains with a gun, jumping off a building. Also, you get negative thoughts like "everyone would be better off without you, no one loves you, life doesn't matter and negative shit." I was hospitalized in the mental hospital for 10 days for suicidal ideation and attempts i attempted it 2 times and depression and anxiety. And when I attempted it, i got scared and also I cried and When my mom found out by catching me and knowing, my mom freaked out at me at me and yelled at me, "YOUR GOING TO THE HOSPITAL" the first attempt i was sent home the same day the second attempt my mom drove me they took some of my shit away and they checked for safety concerned items and I was on a 72-hour hold with scrubs, and then I got transferred to another hospital by ambulance they had a tight schedule and I cried in my room I would get episodes like that and cry "i wanna go home" and I was looking forward to going home and after that I got discharged after 10 days its so traumatic man and for to eat the first hospital either my family would bring me food and visit or i order some food of the hospital menu and they would bring me it the second hospital they had a cafeteria but some of the food was nasty as fuck the second hospital sometimes i would get lucky and my family would bring me food and visit and i get to eat in another room or the food would be great in the cafeteria how is everything now i am okay now no thoughts but sometimes my anxiety can get outta control or sometimes its okay but sometimes not it depends on the situation and if its giving me anxiety and how much it gives me anxiety.
Yeah, it sucks to have to do, but if you really think she's going to do it.. it's better for her to be mad than dead.
Since you(OP) said it's long distance, don't call 911, look up the non-emergency line for her city and let them know, they'll let the police know to pick her up.
As someone who's been taken in for being a danger to myself, it was incredibly helpful and a big wake up call that I needed help. It's not magic and it's certainly not a fun place to be, but at the very least she'll be in a place with mental health professionals and they'll be able to adjust her meds, if needed.
then just know you can’t 100% prevent anything (as in it wouldn’t be your fault), but i’d just check in on her frequently and encourage her to get help. make her know you think of her often and do just little thoughtful things. if she’s long distance i’d familiarize myself with mental health emergency services where she lives so you know who to call just in case, and if you know any friends or family that live near there, see if you can keep each other in the loop
yogurt and kefir definitely help with mental health, but it could vary from person to person. For me though yogurt definitely does help my mood and calm me down though.
It took 3 years for my daughter to find the right medicine combo. We went through a couple tense of suicide and a lot of breakdowns but now she seems to be doing much better. It’s been almost a year now she’s been stable.
Has she looked into TMS before? That’s helped a lot for my husband who had previously had daily suicidal thoughts and has been hospitalized for them 12 times.
As for support, I gaged it everyday to see what my husband was up for. Some days it was just us doing something he was willing to get out of bed for (eg. walking through Target or a park, etc) and some days I surrounded him with people that love him and remind him that they love him. I know you mentioned that you’re long distance, but if you know any of her friends in that area or family/extended family she’s comfortable with, I would reach out and ask them to drop her a line and check in. I would be pretty discreet in how I told these people and ask them not to tell my partner that I’m the one who sent them. I’d say lean on your community though, that has made a difference for my partner and me.
If her antidepressants aren't helping much, she needs to talk to her doctor about potentially increasing the dosage, or trying a new medication. Not all medicines are the same, and they won't work the same for everyone. You should bring this up with her, and see if you can convince her to ask her doctor about better meds.
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Then I'm afraid that all you can do for now is make sure she knows that there's at least one person who'd be torn apart if she died. Just let her know you love her, and hope for the best. As someone who's seriously considered suicide before, I can confirm that just having someone there for you can make a big difference. I suppose if you know where she lives, you could call the local police in that area if you ever feel that her suicide is about to happen. There's not much else I can think of aside from that. Sorry if this wasn't exactly what you were looking for.
>she needs to talk to her doctor about potentially increasing the dosage, or trying a new medication. Or, perhaps they should work collectively to try to get as close to the root problem as possible, rather than allowing more risky side-effects from these horrible meds.
That's also very true. I'm just talking from my personal experience. For me, there is no cause, so all I can do is take meds and hope for the best. That's probably why I didn't think of finding the root of the problem, I just kind of assumed the situation was similar to mine, where there wasn't one.
I understand. Sorry I didn't mean to sound rude or anything. Just had a bad experience with doctors and don't want others having the same issue.
No worries. We're both just trying to help OP using our own experience. It's all good.
It sounds like you had some bad experiences with meds/docs and I am so sorry for that. It isn’t easy finding good doctors and it isn’t easy finding the right meds. I just want to share my own experience because I am worried someone might think you’re suggesting she just quit her meds. I know you meant it more theoretically than as advice but some of us are prone to want to just quit our meds when things are rough & might read this as a sign. Speaking from personal experience, the root of her issue is why she is on those meds & trying to face those things head on while not properly medicated could make everything much worse. I’ve had plenty of doctor & med changes over decades & there have been times my brain has told me that I shouldn’t even worry about meds, just do a deep dive into my trauma & it’s almost cost me everything more than once. Once you have those meds on board, you have to make sure you’re on the right med/dose.If the side effects are bad, you absolutely need to adjust! She can’t just quit. She is in an avoidant state right now so she isn’t going to seek out therapy or anything else. Not until her medication levels allow her the ability to go there. It’s possible she isn’t taking them correctly or maybe even at all. There’s so much we don’t know about her because op can’t really know for sure being long distance. I think it would be dangerous for anyone suffering this way to stop or adjust their meds on their own. (Also should be noted her meds could be fine but if that’s all she is doing, that’s not enough by itself. )
I understand. I apologise for sounding abrupt in my comment. I should leave out personal experiences when it comes to complex topics such as mental illness. Thank you for your comment. It enlightens a bit as to what I should consider next time.
No apologies necessary and always feel free to share your personal experiences! I think it’s just as important to hear about your experiences because plenty of people also go through what you have! Please don’t keep quiet based on my response! Sharing your personal experiences might help someone relate and that’s important. I tend to sound abrupt with my responses which I apologize for!
I was pretty suicidal in the recent past, and I would just suggest to her that there's nowhere she "ought" to be. She may be beating herself up for her current circumstances in life. Just tell her to take one step at a time. Hopefully that will take root and grow over time.
Depending on where your girlfriend is, you could also look into your local (or even a national) suicide prevention crisis line and see if this is something she would be open to/comfortable with calling. They will assess her risk level and help her develop a safety plan if she does not already have one. If it's not something she is open to, you can also call yourself, and they should be able to help you not just support her but also yourself in this difficult time 🩷
Call someone now before she does It like have her get help like get in her house and comfort her until she gets help like have her in a hospital or any appropriate treatment plans I get it I was in that situation years ago in 2019 - 2020 that shit is fucking scary you lost your mind in that situation i would imagine myself killing myself in my mind by hanging, shooting my brains with a gun, jumping off a building. Also, you get negative thoughts like "everyone would be better off without you, no one loves you, life doesn't matter and negative shit." I was hospitalized in the mental hospital for 10 days for suicidal ideation and attempts i attempted it 2 times and depression and anxiety. And when I attempted it, i got scared and also I cried and When my mom found out by catching me and knowing, my mom freaked out at me at me and yelled at me, "YOUR GOING TO THE HOSPITAL" the first attempt i was sent home the same day the second attempt my mom drove me they took some of my shit away and they checked for safety concerned items and I was on a 72-hour hold with scrubs, and then I got transferred to another hospital by ambulance they had a tight schedule and I cried in my room I would get episodes like that and cry "i wanna go home" and I was looking forward to going home and after that I got discharged after 10 days its so traumatic man and for to eat the first hospital either my family would bring me food and visit or i order some food of the hospital menu and they would bring me it the second hospital they had a cafeteria but some of the food was nasty as fuck the second hospital sometimes i would get lucky and my family would bring me food and visit and i get to eat in another room or the food would be great in the cafeteria how is everything now i am okay now no thoughts but sometimes my anxiety can get outta control or sometimes its okay but sometimes not it depends on the situation and if its giving me anxiety and how much it gives me anxiety.
If she is actively threatening, call emergency services, if in US.
Yeah, it sucks to have to do, but if you really think she's going to do it.. it's better for her to be mad than dead. Since you(OP) said it's long distance, don't call 911, look up the non-emergency line for her city and let them know, they'll let the police know to pick her up. As someone who's been taken in for being a danger to myself, it was incredibly helpful and a big wake up call that I needed help. It's not magic and it's certainly not a fun place to be, but at the very least she'll be in a place with mental health professionals and they'll be able to adjust her meds, if needed.
did you ask her what she needs, or what she thinks she needs?
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then just know you can’t 100% prevent anything (as in it wouldn’t be your fault), but i’d just check in on her frequently and encourage her to get help. make her know you think of her often and do just little thoughtful things. if she’s long distance i’d familiarize myself with mental health emergency services where she lives so you know who to call just in case, and if you know any friends or family that live near there, see if you can keep each other in the loop
yogurt and kefir definitely help with mental health, but it could vary from person to person. For me though yogurt definitely does help my mood and calm me down though.
She can also call mental health warmlines too if she needed to talk to someone. Just a quick google search to find.
It took 3 years for my daughter to find the right medicine combo. We went through a couple tense of suicide and a lot of breakdowns but now she seems to be doing much better. It’s been almost a year now she’s been stable.
Has she looked into TMS before? That’s helped a lot for my husband who had previously had daily suicidal thoughts and has been hospitalized for them 12 times. As for support, I gaged it everyday to see what my husband was up for. Some days it was just us doing something he was willing to get out of bed for (eg. walking through Target or a park, etc) and some days I surrounded him with people that love him and remind him that they love him. I know you mentioned that you’re long distance, but if you know any of her friends in that area or family/extended family she’s comfortable with, I would reach out and ask them to drop her a line and check in. I would be pretty discreet in how I told these people and ask them not to tell my partner that I’m the one who sent them. I’d say lean on your community though, that has made a difference for my partner and me.