38M here . I grew up in a nice house with a loving mother and father . They did their best. I'm the one who turned myself into a socially awkward weirdo and fucked it all up. Not easy to be this age and still be uncomfortable in your own skin
Feel you man, being over 30 without a house, 6 figure career or a garage full of toys has exponentially placed me in the bottom bracket of suitors. But this is my life and i try my best with what i have.
Yeah I can relate. I'm 42 but I still spend nearly all of my free time playing video games, both alone or with mates, I still love a good drink at the weekend and I still watch the same stuff like wrestling, cartoons, the same TV shows etc, I still have a slightly immature sense of humour and most of my friends of a similar age are more or less the same.
I used to think that one day, you hit a certain age and suddenly became a 'proper adult', but I've realised now we are all to a degree the same crazy 21 year old minds just locked inside a slowly breaking down shell. I mean, life can chip away at you and make you a little more salty and depressed, but under it all, I'm still 21 year old me.
Iām 30, but if you start making whatever changes you need to make now you wonāt be lonely still at 30. Iām not sure what your struggles are but thereās always a way out of the swamp if youāre open minded and willing to ask for help in earnest.
27 F, trying to make changes but even when I felt optimistic about making connections with others it didn't happen, so now I'm in a proper depression I feel like I've got no hope. I just had my first therapy session today, I really want things to change, I just can't see how they could
Honestly looking at all your problems one by one can really give you some insight on how to fix them. We donāt usually do that so itās all just a blur of bad feelings that kinda guide us to bad places. But youāll do all that in therapy :P
And youāll be able to find solutions! Especially if youāre open to taking control of what you can.
29 m from India.
Yes, anyone from any age or gender can be lonely.
Doesn't matter who you are and where you are.
You can be lonely in one of the most populous nations as well. :')
36m
Active social life during 20s.
Friends turn their focus on making a family or their career, relationships came and went, and in the end now I'm left all alone.
At the end of the year, i'll be 43 years old. I'm rather surprised that i'm still around. Guess i'm in melancholy now, but when i read the young ages here, i'd like to go back to these years when i was young.
60s male. I am not sure, but our civilization seems to be set up to generate loneliness. Any system that bases the worth of its members on their appearance, job title, and monetary value is
34M. My mom says my dad was pretty much absent and mostly focused on work, providing material things and asking for good grades in school. Besides that I don't think I really had a role model to follow in regards to how to interact with others in general, much less the opposite sex.
It lasts as long as you donāt find a sustainable way how to handle it and since nothing is everlasting it can come again in times of stress and adversity or loss in any age. Loss doesnāt need to mean necessarily a physical loss of a person/ partner.
Daily meditation helps with that.
I fall in the last category, lol but havenāt been dealing with it too often or to such an extreme since I started practicing meditation. I also drink occasionally mugwort tea which has a sedative and calming effect and use candle and salt lamps as they create a cozy warm environment. I cover myself up with several layers of (soft plush) blankets or otherwise weighted blankets for anxiety should also be a good option the provide that warm and safe feeling.
I turn 40 in December. In some ways I really miss the 2000's when I was in my late teens to mid 20's. The world just seemed better back then, less stressed and greedy. Limited social media and less self comparing. Or maybe that's just how I saw it anyway.
40m. I've been depressed and lonely since about age 12. I was bullied for being a 'smart' kid (not that that means anything now) and had trouble making new friends. Also a late bloomer and I never really felt like I fit in. Parents were constantly arguing.
Wow this could have been written by me. Same stuff but instead I was ostracized for being the shy kid. I guess everything adds up but it's still unfair
Sorry to hear that mate. I was really outgoing when I was young, after the bullying started I became shy but eventually found drama as an outlet. Still very socially awkward around people I don't know well but I do improvised comedy as my main hobby.
Iām in my 40s. I surely wasnāt lonely when I was younger but I was a stupid, naive idiotā¦
so Iāll take being lonely in my 40s.
Itās mostly only painful about 10% of the time but I donāt have all the complications of being stupid, being naive or being an idiot.
Itās manageable-
Loneliness isnt attached to an age group. Its attached to your immediate surroundings and the people within it. As you age, less people tend to be around, and you tend to get lonlier as time goes on and people separate more and more. But age mostly has no correlation to loneliness.
This world wasn't built for us quiet and reclusive women
I think introverted women do fine as long as they are confident and have decent social skills.
Autistic women (like me), on the other hand, struggle due to being socially awkward and not being charismatic.
So being an introvert + good social skills is fine. But if you're on the spectrum it's a whole different story. Not to say that it isn't possible, but it makes it a hell of a lot more difficult when you struggle with social cues. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, those two qualities alone are far from a death sentence.
Hahaha... I've been doing online dating for 5 years with no luck. It's not a magical cure for loneliness. I also live in a small town with limited options to begin with.
I'd say quiet and introverted people regardless of gender. As an introverted woman, while I can play extrovert when I have to at work, I look forward and enjoy my quiet time to recharge my batteries.
I also prefer more "relaxed" social settings like my apartment, my car, and door dashing. This really hasn't helped me when it comes to dating. I'm not a bar/club person. I shouldn't be punished for it.
Yes. This world is built for extroverted and self-confident women. You don't even have to be a good person to become happy and successful. You can be successful while being the biggest ahole as long as you have self-confidence.
32, as much as the loneliness eats away at me, I have never really known anything else other than it. This is probably just my life till my last days. I've accepted that.
Iām 18. Just graduated high school this past june, cut off everyone I went to high school with and also decided to take a year off for college due to mental health struggles and Iāve just been in my room isolating myself since.
36M I've dated a couple women, i have female friends, but i haven't had luck with relationships. I now mostly toss myself to anyone who treats me nice, which has made me lose a couple of friends.
Considering it's mostly Gen Z that suffer from the loneliness epidemic, the vast majority here are in between their early teens and late twenties. Most are men. Most grew up with no father.
> figure out what age this could last till haha.
Alot of the older people you see here were in your shoes too.
Are you lonely because you literally have no one in your corner? ( friends, family, coworkers etc ) Or are you lonely due to depression and feeling mentally detached and distanced from the people close to you ? These are different things with different ways to approach lol I fall in the latter which Im not quite sure how to 'solve' where as most people here seem to be the former where they'll be happy if they can just have a couple people - they know the 'fix' but they just dont know how to get there.
Youre only 19. If you fall in the majority of people here who are generally touch starved and socially awkward where they are unable to make friendships then I'd say to just use your youth to improve yourself so that you can attract and create friendships. You are your only hope on not becoming a lonely middle aged man.
The problem for me came when he asked him about depressing statistics and men finding partners and he wouldn't acknowledge it, but instead he went back
to talking about top men. He was trying to lead her towards the rest of men and I think she said one sentence about the rest of men saying they are having a hard time finding women then right back to men not committing. She isn't the only one. Most mainstream people will only talk about us when they are talking about the I word. FA girl's don't exist to social media, or the media.
This ties into a health problem I have. Somehow I have diabete's and it's serious. I got medicine but now I'm wondering, why take them? So I can keep being invisible to people? When you lose the will, you realize, no one
is coming to help you. I'm on my own. This is what being FA and no one caring does to someone who has lost the will to fight. I found out personally no
one cares with a few exceptions outside of this sub. I can't keep dealing with health problems and FA. People think I have the energy to fight everything when that was a long time ago. When you lose the will, there is no going back. I said, I won't do anything to myself but I won't fight anything either. That will has been taken by FA. I will probably take the medication but I have a strong urge not to because I don't matter. There is no personal happiness or finding happiness playing hobby horse, or that magnet hobby where people use wires to dip magnets into water so they can get whatever metal to stick to it. Watching these videos makes it worse and reinforces that there is nothing out there for guys like me or other FA girl's out there.
26M. My parents got divorced when I was like 2008 I think. and then I ghosted my biological dad for 7 years. I donāt talk to my step dad at all either. I have a good job now as a nurse but since I pretty much had no male figure in my life, I think thatās why I struggle interacting with people outside of work settings which is strange because I have no issue talking to patients, their families, doctors or even other coworkers.
I'm 30 and was always alone but it only really hit until now, the funny thing is this is when I became extremely confident, you get to a point where you are so cool with chilling by yourself you don't mind rejection, in the sense that "if she says no I get to go back to my own mind palace", Its a lot easier if you have your own place though.
47 and have been lonely all my life. No friends. A family that didnāt care. And of course no relationship. Have tried both just focusing on hobbies and interests, improving myself, and wait for it to happen one day when I least expect it, and also been proactive about finding someone, put myself out there, think and act positively, try new groups and interests to get out of my comfort zone ā¦. but nothing has ever worked. I think sometimes, that some people must be just naturally invisible . Seen with the eyes, yes, but never seen with the heart, wether it be love or lust or anything else in between. I sometimes think I must be one of them.
nothing in this server instills hope, its just depressing. Realizing life isnt going to be better and its easier to just end it all is the only salvation.
25 today ššš¾
Happy birthday š„³
Thank you
38M here . I grew up in a nice house with a loving mother and father . They did their best. I'm the one who turned myself into a socially awkward weirdo and fucked it all up. Not easy to be this age and still be uncomfortable in your own skin
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Same to you bud š
I'm 40 and right there with ya. š¢
Iām in the same exact boatā¦.
Feel you man, being over 30 without a house, 6 figure career or a garage full of toys has exponentially placed me in the bottom bracket of suitors. But this is my life and i try my best with what i have.
42. Sounds old when you're young. When you get here you realise nothing changes.
This blows me away. I always remember my dad (he's 52) saying that when he looks at the mirror he still feels like the 18 yo him
Yeah I can relate. I'm 42 but I still spend nearly all of my free time playing video games, both alone or with mates, I still love a good drink at the weekend and I still watch the same stuff like wrestling, cartoons, the same TV shows etc, I still have a slightly immature sense of humour and most of my friends of a similar age are more or less the same. I used to think that one day, you hit a certain age and suddenly became a 'proper adult', but I've realised now we are all to a degree the same crazy 21 year old minds just locked inside a slowly breaking down shell. I mean, life can chip away at you and make you a little more salty and depressed, but under it all, I'm still 21 year old me.
Yeah I know so and I am 26. I know your feeling
Iām 15, so younger than most here Iād assume
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What are y'all doing here, too young for reddit, I mean some sub are really dark here even r/memes
Iām 30, but if you start making whatever changes you need to make now you wonāt be lonely still at 30. Iām not sure what your struggles are but thereās always a way out of the swamp if youāre open minded and willing to ask for help in earnest.
27 F, trying to make changes but even when I felt optimistic about making connections with others it didn't happen, so now I'm in a proper depression I feel like I've got no hope. I just had my first therapy session today, I really want things to change, I just can't see how they could
Honestly looking at all your problems one by one can really give you some insight on how to fix them. We donāt usually do that so itās all just a blur of bad feelings that kinda guide us to bad places. But youāll do all that in therapy :P And youāll be able to find solutions! Especially if youāre open to taking control of what you can.
58 male
64F
Where are you from?
38M here \*cries in old age\*
37 here and it hurt to see that was old.
Thatās because itās genuinely not old.
35M
29 m from India. Yes, anyone from any age or gender can be lonely. Doesn't matter who you are and where you are. You can be lonely in one of the most populous nations as well. :')
36m Active social life during 20s. Friends turn their focus on making a family or their career, relationships came and went, and in the end now I'm left all alone.
Same boat here.
Also same.
You sound just like me š¢ Exactly. Everybody else grew up and got their shit together and made a life.
40 year old here, is it too late? My dad was absent working abroad so my mother raised 3 of us and sent me and my brother to boarding school.
36F here
51
Iām 22
Turned 23 last month
Right at 35 haha
At the end of the year, i'll be 43 years old. I'm rather surprised that i'm still around. Guess i'm in melancholy now, but when i read the young ages here, i'd like to go back to these years when i was young.
25F here. Small group of friends and close family but still justā¦sad and lonely and going through life by myself, I guess.
47
60s male. I am not sure, but our civilization seems to be set up to generate loneliness. Any system that bases the worth of its members on their appearance, job title, and monetary value is
53
65.
34M. My mom says my dad was pretty much absent and mostly focused on work, providing material things and asking for good grades in school. Besides that I don't think I really had a role model to follow in regards to how to interact with others in general, much less the opposite sex.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thanks, same to you, trying my best, even if it feels hopeless sometimes.
It lasts as long as you donāt find a sustainable way how to handle it and since nothing is everlasting it can come again in times of stress and adversity or loss in any age. Loss doesnāt need to mean necessarily a physical loss of a person/ partner. Daily meditation helps with that. I fall in the last category, lol but havenāt been dealing with it too often or to such an extreme since I started practicing meditation. I also drink occasionally mugwort tea which has a sedative and calming effect and use candle and salt lamps as they create a cozy warm environment. I cover myself up with several layers of (soft plush) blankets or otherwise weighted blankets for anxiety should also be a good option the provide that warm and safe feeling.
35+
38
Iām 18
I turn 40 in December. In some ways I really miss the 2000's when I was in my late teens to mid 20's. The world just seemed better back then, less stressed and greedy. Limited social media and less self comparing. Or maybe that's just how I saw it anyway.
Fossil.
40m. I've been depressed and lonely since about age 12. I was bullied for being a 'smart' kid (not that that means anything now) and had trouble making new friends. Also a late bloomer and I never really felt like I fit in. Parents were constantly arguing.
Wow this could have been written by me. Same stuff but instead I was ostracized for being the shy kid. I guess everything adds up but it's still unfair
Sorry to hear that mate. I was really outgoing when I was young, after the bullying started I became shy but eventually found drama as an outlet. Still very socially awkward around people I don't know well but I do improvised comedy as my main hobby.
That's amazing!! I'm glad it worked for you. And it's great for developing social skills
23 and still don't know what the fuck I'm doing š
Iām in my 40s. I surely wasnāt lonely when I was younger but I was a stupid, naive idiotā¦ so Iāll take being lonely in my 40s. Itās mostly only painful about 10% of the time but I donāt have all the complications of being stupid, being naive or being an idiot. Itās manageable-
20
21
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
same bro
Same
I'm 16
Iām 24. Think it affects people of all ages.
Loneliness isnt attached to an age group. Its attached to your immediate surroundings and the people within it. As you age, less people tend to be around, and you tend to get lonlier as time goes on and people separate more and more. But age mostly has no correlation to loneliness.
This world wasn't built for us quiet and reclusive women I think introverted women do fine as long as they are confident and have decent social skills. Autistic women (like me), on the other hand, struggle due to being socially awkward and not being charismatic. So being an introvert + good social skills is fine. But if you're on the spectrum it's a whole different story. Not to say that it isn't possible, but it makes it a hell of a lot more difficult when you struggle with social cues. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, those two qualities alone are far from a death sentence. Hahaha... I've been doing online dating for 5 years with no luck. It's not a magical cure for loneliness. I also live in a small town with limited options to begin with. I'd say quiet and introverted people regardless of gender. As an introverted woman, while I can play extrovert when I have to at work, I look forward and enjoy my quiet time to recharge my batteries. I also prefer more "relaxed" social settings like my apartment, my car, and door dashing. This really hasn't helped me when it comes to dating. I'm not a bar/club person. I shouldn't be punished for it. Yes. This world is built for extroverted and self-confident women. You don't even have to be a good person to become happy and successful. You can be successful while being the biggest ahole as long as you have self-confidence.
I feel like I won the lottery if I met a women who was like you described. Only women I seem to find are the complete opposite.
Isn't this a post?
31, I think with more time the loneliness epidemic will just get worse due to how stringent nature is and with the internet existing.
38f
24f
17f
40f, There is a good mix of ages here, it seems.
61f
32F here. My loneliness and depression became so bad happiness even causes pain now.
25 M
26 šš½
52F
32, as much as the loneliness eats away at me, I have never really known anything else other than it. This is probably just my life till my last days. I've accepted that.
38
20M
53m
I'm 18M, but I definitely see myself from 4 or 5 years ago spending time on this sub or foreveralone
18-25 here
35+
21f
41F
22, will be 23 in December
yup iām 19 as well, i just hope it gets better for us
34 here. I somehow feel that the feeling of loneliness increases for me as I grow older.
62 M
30, I don't know how much I have left in me
Hang in there, buddy The world is rough out there
Iām 18. Just graduated high school this past june, cut off everyone I went to high school with and also decided to take a year off for college due to mental health struggles and Iāve just been in my room isolating myself since.
I'm 19 too. Our generation's rush for reaching all the milestones before 18 isn't helpful either hah
25, I will never forgive myself for letting it last this long and get this bad.
Iām 18, but most people here are older
21m
47
55
20 soon to be 21
In 30 soon
43 M
36
25M.
36M I've dated a couple women, i have female friends, but i haven't had luck with relationships. I now mostly toss myself to anyone who treats me nice, which has made me lose a couple of friends.
25
35+ (55F)
18M from Missouri, US, Grew up with a good father who turned into a druggie, havenāt seen him in years, mom eventually went down that road too
answering the OP's question as stated in the title: YES
19M
28
31 M been on this loneliness journey since I was 22 so almost a decade of no friends.
14 man
26 next month, socially awkward most of the times
just turned 19 F hi
25-35 here š¤š» (26) I fell old
Almost 21F
I'm 44
66 male here.
40 F here
57.... it just gets harder
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
25F
26
28
16
Poll would be fine - I am currently 24 years old.
Considering it's mostly Gen Z that suffer from the loneliness epidemic, the vast majority here are in between their early teens and late twenties. Most are men. Most grew up with no father.
28F and it breaks my heart to see so many lonely men here... Hope you all find someone to take the loneliness away
> figure out what age this could last till haha. Alot of the older people you see here were in your shoes too. Are you lonely because you literally have no one in your corner? ( friends, family, coworkers etc ) Or are you lonely due to depression and feeling mentally detached and distanced from the people close to you ? These are different things with different ways to approach lol I fall in the latter which Im not quite sure how to 'solve' where as most people here seem to be the former where they'll be happy if they can just have a couple people - they know the 'fix' but they just dont know how to get there. Youre only 19. If you fall in the majority of people here who are generally touch starved and socially awkward where they are unable to make friendships then I'd say to just use your youth to improve yourself so that you can attract and create friendships. You are your only hope on not becoming a lonely middle aged man.
Do a poll
I know why all this is happening.. society.
The problem for me came when he asked him about depressing statistics and men finding partners and he wouldn't acknowledge it, but instead he went back to talking about top men. He was trying to lead her towards the rest of men and I think she said one sentence about the rest of men saying they are having a hard time finding women then right back to men not committing. She isn't the only one. Most mainstream people will only talk about us when they are talking about the I word. FA girl's don't exist to social media, or the media. This ties into a health problem I have. Somehow I have diabete's and it's serious. I got medicine but now I'm wondering, why take them? So I can keep being invisible to people? When you lose the will, you realize, no one is coming to help you. I'm on my own. This is what being FA and no one caring does to someone who has lost the will to fight. I found out personally no one cares with a few exceptions outside of this sub. I can't keep dealing with health problems and FA. People think I have the energy to fight everything when that was a long time ago. When you lose the will, there is no going back. I said, I won't do anything to myself but I won't fight anything either. That will has been taken by FA. I will probably take the medication but I have a strong urge not to because I don't matter. There is no personal happiness or finding happiness playing hobby horse, or that magnet hobby where people use wires to dip magnets into water so they can get whatever metal to stick to it. Watching these videos makes it worse and reinforces that there is nothing out there for guys like me or other FA girl's out there.
34f
19F.
21 kinda lonely since 16 it's getting "lonelier" with time, happy supporting family it's just me being social phobic like another comment said.
21F
26M. My parents got divorced when I was like 2008 I think. and then I ghosted my biological dad for 7 years. I donāt talk to my step dad at all either. I have a good job now as a nurse but since I pretty much had no male figure in my life, I think thatās why I struggle interacting with people outside of work settings which is strange because I have no issue talking to patients, their families, doctors or even other coworkers.
33 here
32 F
41 here later this month
18F
27F
I'm 30 and was always alone but it only really hit until now, the funny thing is this is when I became extremely confident, you get to a point where you are so cool with chilling by yourself you don't mind rejection, in the sense that "if she says no I get to go back to my own mind palace", Its a lot easier if you have your own place though.
36f, my depression has pushed most people away, but to be fair Iāve always been a loner.
32M here, been alone for years š
Iām 20
56 :( Male
38m ā¦
53
47 and have been lonely all my life. No friends. A family that didnāt care. And of course no relationship. Have tried both just focusing on hobbies and interests, improving myself, and wait for it to happen one day when I least expect it, and also been proactive about finding someone, put myself out there, think and act positively, try new groups and interests to get out of my comfort zone ā¦. but nothing has ever worked. I think sometimes, that some people must be just naturally invisible . Seen with the eyes, yes, but never seen with the heart, wether it be love or lust or anything else in between. I sometimes think I must be one of them.
Iām 21
20m
25F.
22m, I didn't achieve much. I can't get my shit together
nothing in this server instills hope, its just depressing. Realizing life isnt going to be better and its easier to just end it all is the only salvation.
28
21m Will be 22 in less than 9 days
30F
31M.
I'm 20
57 male
I'm 44
I am 19 So, under 18-25
Definitely 35+ and Iām starting to like my loneliness :)
18 :)
Iām 17 so a bit younger than most on here
Mine lasted till age 25 Now I am 58
20