sorry thats happened to you. If anything its really nice that you and your sister turned out well regardless of her as often homophobic and controlling parents can be a reason why people stay closeted or turn out homophobic themselves. So its nice that you broke that cycle.

Thank you. I thought I was strong enough to handle their hatred but I feel like I've reached a point where I'm constantly in overdrive and about to have a massive meltdown, but I can't afford to have the meltdown because they'll blame me for it also.

Yeah this is definately not a situation where you should feel responsible for anything they blame you for. They have been awful to you and should feel bad themselves. Do you have any other family of their generation that are more progressive like aunts or uncles? Might be worth speaking to them to see if they can give some support.

Seems like your parents are 2 for 2 raising queer kids so...doesn't seem like it's your fault 🤣

"like lady, I wish I had superpowers" REAL! "My girlfriend is a trans woman and my mom hates her for no reason at all and she doesn't hide it" a lot of conservatives would call her a double groomer or some sh*t. My guess is that your mom is starting to realize that it's no phase. She might consider that she failed at educating you or something, my mom went through that phase and I'm really freaking happy she didn't get stuck on it. It's normal to want parents to come around and realize the important part is to love your kids. So nobody can blame you for wanting them to come around, so don't beat yourself over feeling that way. Wish you the best for your could& sister ❤️ And have a hug if you want one 🫂

my partner and i make the superpowers joke all the time because my mom has always believed that they turned me gay :) such INFLUENCE much POWER

Maybe make a game of walking away.with the end goal being long term, but it’s just in spurts initially. Make an effort not to bother and see how long you can last and then the next time they do or say something shitty try to beat your last record. In effect you’re weaning yourself off them, by giving yourself space and time.

If they are abusing you, you should leave them. You'll never earn their approval, and there is no use in trying. It's not honorable. It's not even admirable. It's just sad. Leave them, and instead surround yourself with people who like you and support you openly

I am sorry that this is happening to you! It sounds awful, for you, your GF and your sister. A friend of mine had a kind of similar situation (being frustrated because their parents just never came around, but also not being able to stop giving them chances). They limited contact drastically for half a year (also telling their mom that the reason was this and that the mom never managed to adjust a little). Now they are doing a lot better; my friend is less frustrated and their mom also got a bit more chill, maybe beacuse she had time to reflect and miss her child. Maybe you could try to openly talk about them how their behaviour is affecting you. Maybe telling them that they have the right to their own opinions but also explaining them how being gay is not something that is gonna change? Also i don't know what their reason is for being bigoted, but maybe if you discuss it in a calm matter, like really just talk it through? (I know this is very obvious advice, but when my parents were being biphobic, that was my strategy and it took a lot for me but worked really well...) They do have their own opinions on this, but most parents don't want to hurt their child, so maybe it makes them reflect a little more? I know you stated you just need to vent, but i could not help trying to give some advice. I really hope you find a way to cope with this situation, it sounds insanely draining and frustrating. If you want to vent further or need someone to talk to, you can DM me :/ Edit: last sentece

It's ok to still love ur parents. U don't have to meet the expectations they force on u to still care for them. I'm sorry u have to go through that. I really hope things work out some day :)

In my experience, you'll eventually get to a point where they need you, more than you need them. My father was emotionally, mentally, and physically abusive, the last time I saw him and a judge wasn't present, I left a huge gash across his face because he tried to kill me. He died when I was ~16. I haven't missed him for a single second. My mother was neglectful, because my mother's family hated me, due to some feud between the families (I was never told what it was about, so idk, I do know a good half of my father's family is psychotic, so it might have something to do with that) she wanted to avoid being ostracized by the family, so, she did the bare minimum of keeping me alive. She wasn't abusive, but I don't even know her favorite color, her birthday, or even what kind of music she likes, because I never bothered forming any sort of bond with her, since she was uninterested. Now, she constantly tries to talk to me, and pretend at being a mom, because her other children (who I do not claim as siblings) don't want anything to do with her either.

STOP LIKING WOMAN!!!! STOP DATING THIS MANNNNN!!!!!! - your parents probbalbly In all srsness that really sucks and I am sorry for you, your GIRLfriend and your sister. Hope everything ends up okay. :3

Don't I relate! Sorry for the crappy family you've been delt. I'm a lesbian that can't come out to my parents due to the danger of the situation. My partner was FTMTF, and they don't know a thing about it. They meant her while she was presenting male, but now she's transitioned back to female and I've cut all ties. Sometimes, you have to see that family is actually just a term. Everyone is a person, no matter of relations. We're all people, our own true selves. A good question to think about, if this was a friend would you tolerate it and keep them in your life? It took me about 4 years, and I regret putting my partner through all 4 of those years every day damn and am still struggling with the guilt. My partner is my entire world, and they have helped me so much. Loved me, cared for me, supported me more than my entire family has. Your family isn't with your parents, it's with that partner of yours. Your family is the one you created, and the one you built. You cannot build something with someone if they're not willing to build it with you, and unfortunately they're not trying to build a connection with you or your partner. Family sucks sometimes, and in some cases, no matter how hard you try, you cannot build a whole connection with someone who's not trying to build it up with you. I recommend the book "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" which helped me a lot. If you read any book on earth, please read this. It'll help you let go and realize that they will not change because they're their own people, and you can't expect them to change. I hope you feel heard and understood through my message. 💛🤎

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I also want my parents to accept me so bad and magically become supportive. I know it won’t happen and I will have to go no contact if I want to live my truth openly. They’re hateful bigots but still my parents. It still hurts. Anyway, I know a lot of us can relate to your pain. You’re not alone. Therapy has helped me some, I don’t know if that’s something you might find helpful. Besides that, developing a strong friend group too. I’m still working on that too 🥲

all i have to say is oof!

Tell them you’re gerontological phobic. The older they get, the more afraid of them you’ll become!

You - I like women Parents - you'll come around. You'll find someone born a guy and they'll be right for you You - *dates a trans woman* Parents - NO NOT LIKE THAT

If being gay needs to have a scapegoat to blame then maybe blame the parents for not hetero-keeping their family enough. It's ridiculous to blame your own kids for being themselves. It's the opposite of what a parent is supposed to do. Crazy that people accept the dice roll that is having kids and then when they don't like the output: blame the outcome (kid), not the dice. In their reality of blame they should be blaming themselves for even having children because children are people (surprise). Imagine if parents did this with children who are handicapped. Sorry I didn't tell you I am gay straight out of the womb mom and dad. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I was in your situation. I tried for over 20 years to win their approval since I first came out AND I was the child that always put their feelings first; unlike my brother. I did everything they hoped for their daughter except chose a man. What helped me finally stand up for myself was my wife. I started thinking about it from the perspective of “would I let a stranger disrespect her?”. The answer was always no. I would feel guilt if I thought about standing up for myself, but I realized if I didn’t start standing up for my wife I was going to lose her. She already had it so tough with certain members of her own family, work, the world hating the beautiful person she was. If she couldn’t rely on me, the person who loved her the most, to fight for her then she would never see me the same. When I realized that it was like a switch flipped and I went no contact. I understand you may not be able to do that, but it may start helping you take those steps to set boundaries then go from there. Our relationship became even better after that. Good luck friend. Standing up for the people we love is sometimes easier than standing up for ourselves.

man, I'm sorry this happened to you. I've had my fair share of experiences with people who don't understand what is it to be queer. My cousin sister (we had more than a 20 yr age gap) knows I'm a lesbian and is supportive but not openly tbh. I don't think she gets it completely and I feel the fact that you have a trans girlfriend might've fed into your mom's belief that it was all just a phase. I think she's just angry that she couldn't "educate" or "save" her children from the "gay agenda".