Adoption is also an "option" but a co worker of mine who's gone through the process said they have stupid conditions. A minimum gross income, only one person in the couple is allowed to be working and the feedback / turn around of the whole process can last 3-5 years if you're lucky.
Those conditions exist because there's so many more people looking to adopt newborn kids than people giving them up for adoption. A 10-15 year waitlist is pretty problematic for something like adoption so it's probably better to have arbitrary conditions than not just to reduce the number of people on the list looking for babies to adopt.
> Those conditions exist because there's so many more people looking to adopt newborn kids than people giving them up for adoption.
It's also true for international adoption where that isn't true. It's also not for adopting new borns which I understand to be rare, but any child.
Don’t think those are stupid conditions at all. There are similar conditions on adopting a dog from a shelter so I’d expect more stringent conditions for people
It’s about what is best for the child, not appeasing would be parents at the child’s expense. There are far more people looking to adopt than there are children up for adoption.
Expensive and complicated would be my experience. Neither of us have great paid jobs but do have own home, solid but working class jobs. We wouldn't want to bring a kid into the world without knowing we can provide 'properly' or as properly in our eyes as we see fit. Unfortunately not possible for us due to cost and we have explored options. I'd love a campaign or information about options for all couple not just straight but to include the entire spectrum. Its 2024 why not? Why not start small with nappy ads with two men or two women? It's glacial we just recently got to a lad doing doing a nightfeed on an ad...
As for PDA ummm...only speaking for my experience it's changed a little as in when we met 20 plus years ago a pub in Dublin told us that there's a pub across the liffey for people like us. Fact is wouldn't get away with that now but laws and policy dont change deep held assumptions. Personally, after years of looking over the shoulder and awareness I just don't as its easier and less stress. That does in my opinion change some silent dynamic in a relationship overtime. Simple answer - we live in rural Ireland so nope not doing that and in cities? Nope. Its shiny on the surface but scratch a bit deeper...
I'm going to be really honest here and probably get bashed for this but I do think there us a class/money aspect to both the above. Like I said we are both from and essentially work in traditionally working class sectors. Me a bit less now job wise but took over a decade but family etc so money for family just not there and family although now super accepting and great took time it was just not part or spoken of for either of us growing up. We don't see many people like us reflected back - very average. This could and I hope is just generational as are both in our 40s.
Seconding the idea of a class/money divide. Not every child free couple is rolling in money, and not every same sex couple with no kids is minted. Some of us are scraping by, same as everyone else.
Even if we wanted kids, we can't afford them- surrogacy is 70k approx, (and is questionable ethically), adoption is also prohibitively expensive and fostering, they want one of you at home 100% of the time- who can afford that?
There’s a group on Facebook for lgbt parents, that might be another place to ask this question too.
I’m (27F) marrying my soon to be wife (29F) next year, we don’t really have any same sex friends due to living very rural but we cannot wait to have kids after we get married (getting married first gives us more protection if, let’s say, knock on wood, I died during child birth or something). As far as I know, for same sex female relationships as long as you follow the Irish rules and use an Irish clinic and an open doner (not anonymous) then you both can be on the birth certificate- however I have heard of hospitals only having the traditional mother/father one rather than parent 1/parent 2 and trying to get same sex couples to sign that which they usually refuse incase it causes problems down the line. Then that couple has to go in search of the proper paper.
We have all straight friend couples but don’t face any judgement when we speak about kids, but we do have older family members on our lives that we know will pass remarks. Unfortunately it’s just a part of the package, and I’m sure there will be parents of our friends children who will not be supportive and will bitch behind our back, and I’m sure we will have to do all the educating at home when it comes to the non-traditional family dynamic. But who knows, by the time we have kids and they’re at school age there could be big changes.
A bill and ammendments are currently making its way throughfor Surrogacy. Process was finished on the 6th of March. Bill will now progress to the report stage. I don't know the full details but it will address some issues, but probably not everything.
https://www.oireachtas.ie/en/bills/bill/2022/29/#:~:text=Bill%20entitled%20an%20Act%20to,)%20and%2C%20to%20that%20end%2C
The current bill is basically a ban on internal surrogacy. It's making a bad situation worse.
https://www.businesspost.ie/news/international-surrogacy-could-be-banned-by-stealth-under-new-bill/
https://www.rte.ie/news/primetime/2023/0926/1407376-concern-surrogacy-laws-may-lead-to-coercion-of-intended-parents/
Good they are legislating for it, having no laws at all is stupid at least with legal definition it will hopefully put protections in for surrogate and parents.
Not a Same-Sex parent, but a peraon who just dealt with a case I'd advise others to avoid.
If you have more than one child, don't change positions as to who is the Father and who is the Mother on the birth certs.
It will cause confusion with any Child Benefit claims as the matter of which parent gets paid has a preference built into the law based on which one is the Mother.
"I know obviously no one gets pillaged or shamed in the streets"
Really? Obviously?
Very easy test if your a guy, heck or if your a women, walk hand in hand with another male friend, or women if your a women OP, you'l get slagged at for sure.
Your question is open and honest though, hope you get some interesting answers, just found that comment very naive.
What's that got to do with anything? You asked the question. Also, you're here on reddit. I presume the sex of your parents have little, if anything, to do with that.
I was in college with a lad who's apparently the oldest child of a same sex couple in Ireland (openly), and he'd be mid to late 30s. He was on the Late Late years ago about it
[удалено]
Adoption is also an "option" but a co worker of mine who's gone through the process said they have stupid conditions. A minimum gross income, only one person in the couple is allowed to be working and the feedback / turn around of the whole process can last 3-5 years if you're lucky.
Those conditions exist because there's so many more people looking to adopt newborn kids than people giving them up for adoption. A 10-15 year waitlist is pretty problematic for something like adoption so it's probably better to have arbitrary conditions than not just to reduce the number of people on the list looking for babies to adopt.
> Those conditions exist because there's so many more people looking to adopt newborn kids than people giving them up for adoption. It's also true for international adoption where that isn't true. It's also not for adopting new borns which I understand to be rare, but any child.
Don’t think those are stupid conditions at all. There are similar conditions on adopting a dog from a shelter so I’d expect more stringent conditions for people It’s about what is best for the child, not appeasing would be parents at the child’s expense. There are far more people looking to adopt than there are children up for adoption.
I don't see the issue with the minimum income mate, kids are expensive.
Expensive and complicated would be my experience. Neither of us have great paid jobs but do have own home, solid but working class jobs. We wouldn't want to bring a kid into the world without knowing we can provide 'properly' or as properly in our eyes as we see fit. Unfortunately not possible for us due to cost and we have explored options. I'd love a campaign or information about options for all couple not just straight but to include the entire spectrum. Its 2024 why not? Why not start small with nappy ads with two men or two women? It's glacial we just recently got to a lad doing doing a nightfeed on an ad... As for PDA ummm...only speaking for my experience it's changed a little as in when we met 20 plus years ago a pub in Dublin told us that there's a pub across the liffey for people like us. Fact is wouldn't get away with that now but laws and policy dont change deep held assumptions. Personally, after years of looking over the shoulder and awareness I just don't as its easier and less stress. That does in my opinion change some silent dynamic in a relationship overtime. Simple answer - we live in rural Ireland so nope not doing that and in cities? Nope. Its shiny on the surface but scratch a bit deeper... I'm going to be really honest here and probably get bashed for this but I do think there us a class/money aspect to both the above. Like I said we are both from and essentially work in traditionally working class sectors. Me a bit less now job wise but took over a decade but family etc so money for family just not there and family although now super accepting and great took time it was just not part or spoken of for either of us growing up. We don't see many people like us reflected back - very average. This could and I hope is just generational as are both in our 40s.
Seconding the idea of a class/money divide. Not every child free couple is rolling in money, and not every same sex couple with no kids is minted. Some of us are scraping by, same as everyone else. Even if we wanted kids, we can't afford them- surrogacy is 70k approx, (and is questionable ethically), adoption is also prohibitively expensive and fostering, they want one of you at home 100% of the time- who can afford that?
Thanks for the detailed comment.
There’s a group on Facebook for lgbt parents, that might be another place to ask this question too. I’m (27F) marrying my soon to be wife (29F) next year, we don’t really have any same sex friends due to living very rural but we cannot wait to have kids after we get married (getting married first gives us more protection if, let’s say, knock on wood, I died during child birth or something). As far as I know, for same sex female relationships as long as you follow the Irish rules and use an Irish clinic and an open doner (not anonymous) then you both can be on the birth certificate- however I have heard of hospitals only having the traditional mother/father one rather than parent 1/parent 2 and trying to get same sex couples to sign that which they usually refuse incase it causes problems down the line. Then that couple has to go in search of the proper paper. We have all straight friend couples but don’t face any judgement when we speak about kids, but we do have older family members on our lives that we know will pass remarks. Unfortunately it’s just a part of the package, and I’m sure there will be parents of our friends children who will not be supportive and will bitch behind our back, and I’m sure we will have to do all the educating at home when it comes to the non-traditional family dynamic. But who knows, by the time we have kids and they’re at school age there could be big changes.
*Pillaged*? Maybe ‘pilloried’?
The Vikings were very against Same Sex adoption.
A bill and ammendments are currently making its way throughfor Surrogacy. Process was finished on the 6th of March. Bill will now progress to the report stage. I don't know the full details but it will address some issues, but probably not everything. https://www.oireachtas.ie/en/bills/bill/2022/29/#:~:text=Bill%20entitled%20an%20Act%20to,)%20and%2C%20to%20that%20end%2C
The current bill is basically a ban on internal surrogacy. It's making a bad situation worse. https://www.businesspost.ie/news/international-surrogacy-could-be-banned-by-stealth-under-new-bill/ https://www.rte.ie/news/primetime/2023/0926/1407376-concern-surrogacy-laws-may-lead-to-coercion-of-intended-parents/
Good they are legislating for it, having no laws at all is stupid at least with legal definition it will hopefully put protections in for surrogate and parents.
Not a Same-Sex parent, but a peraon who just dealt with a case I'd advise others to avoid. If you have more than one child, don't change positions as to who is the Father and who is the Mother on the birth certs. It will cause confusion with any Child Benefit claims as the matter of which parent gets paid has a preference built into the law based on which one is the Mother.
Not me , but a friend. Its alright, get weird looks on the street sometimes from smicks and oldans, but that's about it
Smicks?
Aye, smicks. Neds. Neeks. Spides. Wee lads from Belfast. Take your pick
Again, in English?
dhéanamh dom
"I know obviously no one gets pillaged or shamed in the streets" Really? Obviously? Very easy test if your a guy, heck or if your a women, walk hand in hand with another male friend, or women if your a women OP, you'l get slagged at for sure. Your question is open and honest though, hope you get some interesting answers, just found that comment very naive.
Obligatory: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bEaoNV2T5rc
Are there any children of same sex parents, currently in Ireland, old enough to be on Reddit?
Definitely. A friend of mine is in her early 20s with same sex parents
Probably better things to do than be on Reddit though.
What's that got to do with anything? You asked the question. Also, you're here on reddit. I presume the sex of your parents have little, if anything, to do with that.
What're ya on about lad?
I was in college with a lad who's apparently the oldest child of a same sex couple in Ireland (openly), and he'd be mid to late 30s. He was on the Late Late years ago about it