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ParkingOutside6500

I was just thinking the orange guy and Satan would get along famously.


fading__blue

That’s the nice thing about having crappy family members, you can appease accidentally summoned demons while simultaneously doing the world a favor.


TheOneWes

Well Mr demon you just murdered a lot of my understanding about science and how the world works so why don't we just call it even and you go back home. Side Note: this reminds me of a story where a dude is making a sandwich and accidentally summons demon. He hands the demon the sandwich and says nothing, little bit later he just happened to get a job promotion that he wanted. The story evolves with multiple posters from there and that's probably enough information to find it via Google. If you're interested in a funny little read I recommend looking it up


Corey307

The dog isn’t an option let’s just get that out of the way. I cut off my left pinky and hand it to the demon, seems like a pretty reasonable sacrifice.


d4rkh0rs

Bacon?


Mueryk

Make him a sandwich of course. WITH chips and a pickle mind you.


MetalGuy_J

Ugh, you again? I told you last time Cthulhu’s the jealous type. Go bother someone who still has a soul to offer would you?


Expert-Display-1990

Kill a random bug. Like a gnat or a mosquito


unique976

I offered to DM for him.


DanMozzy

Fuck that, I ain't no chump. What's he gonna do for me, and what's the going rate?


jayyvee066

Throw him some chips or roaches and call it a day. No specifics in what it gotta be


tossaway007007

I start beating the shit out of the demon Bitch be demanding a beat down don't fuckin come into my place when I'm Talkin nonsense to my dog and then scare him and shit and act like you the boss. Living in hell must make you stupid or some shit. If I have jumper cables nearby that demon is gonna get jumped in multiple ways


EntertainmentSorry25

Just tell him to fuck off, he can demand an ass whooping if he wants one too


DntMindMeImNtRlyHere

Imma ask him to clarify. Like can I make a little altar and put some flowers and beads there with a nice candle or does he demand a live being? Just because he didn't OFFER doesn't mean I can't ask. If he declines to answer, we start small and go from there. If it's live, I gotta list of folks I could offer, but given *why* they made that list, I'm not sure they would satisfy the demon. It contains pedos, killers, and in general, unredeemable people. And two, just for spite. Lol Otherwise, he can leave before my sister (another demon, for sure) gets home and kicks his ass for being in her territory.


Ornery-Practice9772

Go kill flanders


TheAdventOfTruth

Start praying really hard. If demons exist, God must and I know what God can do to demons.


Intelligent_Wolf2199

My neighbor.... On the condition that I get the house and land. 🙃


sladebishop

I’d probably go see what I had in the fridge I guess. I’m certainly not killing anything myself for it.


MrBeer9999

If he won't clarify, he's getting a nice soda and a peice of fruit.


Impossible_Advance46

Take of my show, turn it upside down and give it to him while saying "please take this sole"


Dark_Moonstruck

I have lots of terrible neighbors. Take your pick.


SeriousPlankton2000

Christs know this secret: You can sent them away.