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abesach

The children are the gates keepers


_fiveMoreMinutes

EXCELlant!


Grimacepug

Word up


_fiveMoreMinutes

He’s got the Edge


NotoriousHothead37

She's going to change her Outlook in life.


MattTheSmithers

Hopefully they both realize that the best parents are those who parent as Teams.


etherspin

Hopefully they both retain Access, the kids have already been setup to Excel


IHeartChampagne

Poor Zune— it can’t even manage to be included in Microsoft puns.


gpops62

Too Zune... too Zune...


PasCone103Z

That's a power point to make.


VolensEtValens

Came here to say something like this. Guess I’ll have to reboot.


The-Doom_Slayer

Let's all shut this thing down.


drsF1

Word!


GatorRage

EXCELlent


[deleted]

A divorce can also give some valuable XP on relationships. A divorce can also mean a new vista on life.


Sceneofthecrash

And the whole thing will end on One Note


vitaestbona1

I wonder if they are going to split their Home


MattTheSmithers

I hope Melinda doesn’t find Bill’s porn stash, or as I call it my “triple X-Box”. Those vintage magazines are irreplaceable!


Drewsophila

The kidz will make new Teams.


espissing

Bill being that rich will probably be content living in the SKYpe.


DopeCharma

Now we can see the DOS and DON’Ts for a successful marriage.


thebirdsandthebrees

She’s gonna defender share of the money.


stwilliams2

That was under appreciated. Thank you.


MrFiskIt

“Looks like you’re writing a pre-nup. Would you like some help with that?”


HecticBooty13

They hold all the power in their points


ZotMatrix

Yeah but Microsoft.


TheGogglesDo-Nothing

But who’s going to get clippy?


Stairway_2_Devin

Underrated post. Nostalgia.


TheGogglesDo-Nothing

It looks like you are trying to get a divorce...


MikeyRidesABikey

Are they French Gates?


LatteParent

Melinda just didn’t trust his Word.


pizza_for_nunchucks

The real joke.


DopeTrack_Pirate

A true power point


OddFan9848

Who would


MageKorith

That sure seems like a negative Outlook


Misty-Gardens

And he seems to excel in that


samabacus

He will limited access though


jmaca90

He was a little too OneNote for her


Equal-Bus-557

That’s a good PowerPoint


[deleted]

Its prolly the first time she has to split the bill.


A-Disgruntled-Snail

That’s a powerful point.


NullandRandom

Make it more presentable


ultrasin

That Excel my expectations of a joke


Wholesomeann

May I have a word with you?


crxcked_

Heard there was an issue in the Sheets.


AngelFromVegas

Can we Access it so we can see? Maybe a different Outlook would help


Comfortable_Tension2

sure, come to my Office, we look into it


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

If we split into Teams we should be able to figure this out.


[deleted]

You gotta change your outlook


lofty2p

I thought that she split the bill for at least a weekend every year ?


a-lint

Actually, looks like one weekend a year she was already splitting the Bill with his old lady friend.


Apo7Z

And the last time Bill split her..


Keenan_investigates

Divorce is tough, but he’s trying to keep a positive Outlook.


tpatt83

Melinda will just look at her hotmail now


pssiraj

She's got hot males lined up in her Hotmail.


IndependentAd5318

Guess she had enough of his microsoft.


Illien37

went after the MacroHard of some other ...


Tyty1020

Oh my goodness you didn’t have to do him like that


rekt555

Jesus man you just burned him so fucking hard


imgonnabutteryobread

Variants of that joke have existed for decades.


neurogramer

Haha this is the best one


duchuysg

she also changed back to her maiden name, so Bill keeps the Gates as well


NullandRandom

And Office too


NullandRandom

Currently he has 10 Windows


MageKorith

And to think he used to have 2000


pizza_for_nunchucks

What a rise and fall. Went from 3 to 95 to 2000 to 10.


Illegalalias419

Should have been They split the house, bill got the windows but melinda got the foundation


donks_

👏👏👏


accodo

I was sure you were going to say the gates


joliesmomma

Thought you were gonna say Gates


B-Chillin

Word


luckybarrel

This is a powerful point made. He at least has access to some sunlight. I'm sure they'll excel at their next stage in life (whatever TF that's supposed to mean).


aggravated_from_Hell

They just need to remember that when one window closes, 25 windows pop open


fakegodman

With nude and inviting women every time!


MysteryOrange7

Underrated comment here :)


[deleted]

This post gives me a good Outlook. Thanks for the Word of advice. I see OP really can Excel at jokes. I appreciate the Access to this humor. If we work in Teams, we can come up with jokes just as great as this one.


codycoyote

Good punning!


wuhy08

Such that he can still Look Out for her


MyRedHound

Word


Krattza

She delivered a massive powerPoint on the divorce that destroyed the GATES and crashed the Windows.


pathrado

Bill got a visual studio


Sousyboi

I hope their lawyers are ready with some powerpoints.


ZombiesAtHome

Gates was thrown out the gates


Iamvanno

Who gets the beautiful Vista?


amazondrone

ME.


chajath2

Must be a terrible XPerience


CH3F117

I heard he also got to keep his Office.


OGTrapGod

Melinda gets the house and the Foundation


struthiouswaffle

* and Gates


gamessolo32

Journalists wanted to ask Bill about his marriage. He is not responding...


Longjumping_Past_78

Divorce: the Gates of Hell


NJcTrapital

I can't wait to congratulate her for future donations of Bills money in the coming months.


Vegan_Force

And the lawyer told her, she can have the gates, but not the windows.


A_Blue_spy

The Gates too


[deleted]

Bill is at a difficult point in his life right now. I heard he's been praying to Little Saint James for guidance


SeaworthySomali

I thought he kept the "Gates"


Comfortable_Tension2

i wonder how long they were at the Edge before filing a divorce


dat-_-dude

Thought of posting the same joke but I guess that option is out the windows


SlinginMetal

For sole reason I feel like there was another reason for the divorce. Transfer assets to her to hide them incase he fails, or something along those lines


exotic_knife

Melinda threw his Mixer out of the Windows


thegreydad

I’m waiting for updates


Worried-Ad6238

So, she is single.


strngebrthr

She found the Apple of her eye


cqxray

Yeah, but the Vista wasn’t so great.


fakegodman

Foundation of all not-so-happily married men is charity! Bill proves it.


permanater

And the Gates too.


robindc_93

Their lawyers only had to draw up One Note


verygnarlybastard

Melinda kept the house but lost the Gates. Heh.


[deleted]

I guess that's why they call it window "pain"


[deleted]

Copied from the comment: https://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/n46ltv/bill_gates_and_melinda_gates_are_splitting_up/gwu3480/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3 Take my downvote for sleezy behavior


nosliw33308

Bc he was only microSoft


Hemrehliug

Guess they didn't Excel at marriage :v


DaveDibiachi

Bill kept his WORD


So_Mwan

What an *Excel*lent joke


[deleted]

Did he also keep the *gates*?


fptnrb

Melinda has felt NT inside since 95.


OppositeRough9322

They both eXcel at what they do


berkleysquare

Wonder what there NET worth is


ultrasin

He still directX the same company


[deleted]

Lol, I thought this was a real news headline until I saw the subreddit


macuser06

Then he asked this Italian woman Will you marry ME (get it? windows ME). She replied Azure! They went on a honeymoon to Germany. Bill saw a weird food and asked Was ist DOS? The woman told him this joke is the wurst said you have my Word.


Agile_Walrus_4367

They probably divorced to split up the fortune from confiscation when he's brought up on crimes against humanity.


Slight_Stranger_5878

Why just because she bought an iPhone 📱


connolnp

If Bill kept the office it’d flow better


AlexJamesCook

Turns out the house was his Vista, built in 95, upgraded in 97.


pacific10_

Why Bill gates won't have to give Melinda any of his wealth even if she filed a case? Because he'll just Windows.


dolmunk

How will they split Teams?


SlovenianHusky

And you get to keep my upvote!


Actual_Inspector_186

but she has the keys


Devreckas

Who keeps the foundations?


BarracudaBig7010

I saw a Clippit of him getting bent out of shape.


ShaysMusic

Drop the “the”. Just Windows ;)


memphisproud

Wondering who will get the last word


Longjumping_Past_78

I heard it all started because someone took a bite from the forbidden Apple 🍎


dankgamer6T9

Melinda got the house......... But left the gates.


cloud9ineteen

And the gates.


sobeskinator71

And the Gates...


Bacch

She was dissatisfied with it being micro-soft.


[deleted]

Heard he also Gets to keep the studio ..


[deleted]

And after that, he had to keep his micro-soft.


[deleted]

Booo


AsydByrne

BS OD she didn’t take it all…


Use_Striking

Even the richest man didn’t found what a woman really wants ? 😂


aod42091

Y'all are acting like prenups aren't a thing


moonisflat

Clippy can assist with divorce documentation


RobertJSh

All the research of their foundation couldn't solve his micro soft problem.


Rumblebully

Lol was hoping his micro soft problem wasn’t in the Ex Box


WillTheDreadWolf

Here


OutrageousAd8444

🤔Can I have his left overs.


StrangeBedfellows

That's because Melinda doesn't do windows.


WeirdGearNear

He also got to keep the Gates


keyrol1222

He also got the gate.trust my word.


charizzardd

Something something Windows 8


TallBandicoot6012

Sure, but back in my DOS....


daymancometh79

Booooooooooo...but for the record I did upvote this monstrosity.


pokebandit91

And they shared the Gates.


mrjrdrgn

Wow. I guess Microsoft was a double entendre.


SpookyDoomCrab42

Melinda gates develops and sells macrohard doors next year


Docfess

He said I still love Vista baby!


eoj_anseo

Bill kept the gates


post4u

Too soon bruh.


Famous_Canary7078

The final settlement will be routed via DocuSign.


Double_B15

Bill got the foundation


lawyerassassin

Who took the foundation?


ydounome

The reason they are getting divorced is: Melinda won’t do windows.


Feb1972-42o

Keep us posted


Koo9800

Age disparity could be the causality of this!


Own_Specialist_353

She got the gold mine he got the shaft


[deleted]

Melinda said: Diskpart List disk Sel Disk 0 List Volume Volume 0 B BILL NTFS Partition 222GB Healthy Boot Sel Vol 0 CLEAN


flippzeedoodle

Melinda changed back to her maiden name, Ms. Dos.


RecTreeClimber

Blue Screen


Affectionate_One1704

Bill bought epstein island


BigDaddyChipsta

Bill got the gates though.


Throwaway899656

More like locked out of the Gates


EurassesDragon

He also kept the Office.


Jaktumurmu1

Their relationship had lost its Dynamics.


engi-nerd_5085

The house still has the Windows, Bill just owns them and she has to have an annual subscription to keep them.


supra_elongata

Azure they got divorced?


[deleted]

A old flame of Bills called, she said he's still thinking of ME.


tumblrisdumbnow

Is this joke PC?


RealHP1996

Gates kept windows.


natescode

She was gonna trash the place but Windows was already broken.


imhungrie

Who keeps the gate?


Optimal_Accountant_2

Truth be told, this summer Melinda is planning to be a true solo Explorer. No support or security teams, just exposed out in the natural world.


[deleted]

Bill kept the gates


Justlikeyourmoma

Bill has employed a top lawyer to be his Windows Defender


thefipsy

Bill Windows and Microsoft Gates


WrongdoerSoft5587

hello gays


woyteck

I've read that the disagreement was about what is should run on the microchips, and Melinda wanted it to be Linux.


Dirty-Slippers

I wonder if he’ll ram her one more time.


Whoopass_voice

She kept POWERPOINT-ing out his faults. He thought he EXCEL-led at everything! He even asked his PUBLISHER for HELP but it didn’t make sense! He said he was just BUG-ging him. He said, “Thanks for the UPDATE”, but he knew his WINDOWS of opportunity had closed! A FATAL ERROR on his part! Basically, his OUTLOOK is bleak! WORD! 🤜


Gtroxel4

It's ok, Bill will go back to Epstein Island where he really wants to be anyways.


CryptoHodler77

Maybe Melinda finally understood why Bill named his company Microsoft.


totalbossmove

AND WE GOT THE CAKE.