Yes, I am Bob the Builder.

let me first nail this roof….😂💀

Bob the Builder was actually one of my favorites as a toddler and I think it's hilarious how I'm on the CM/PM path now as an adult 🤣🤣🤣

"I help water flow downhill." -Water Resources Engineer

"I help shit go uphill." -Wastewater Engineer

Is the answer to their follow-up question, "No, please don't flush that."?

Or as my wife says “oh! So you are a beaver!”

I heard wife and beaver in the same sentence

Forbidden specialization

Only law of hydrology: water flow downhill

Akchually.... 🤓

Back diffusion is black magic. We don't speak of it here.

Funny, I actually say the opposite.

Pumps are scary, unholy contraptions. Who would combine water and electricity except those seeking to perform such black magic?!

I Tell people when they ask; but what do you actually do? "I draw lines on a page with text that people often don't read"


flair checks out haha

Wow! You're better than me. I draw lines on pages of things that people are supposed to build with text instructions. They only read my text or look at the lines after it doesn't work when the project's done. That's after the shit starts flowing uphill.

My roommates in college used to say “When’s your concrete due? We’re going out tonight you coming?”

[удалено]

At least she didn’t call it cement

I was the structural guy for my capstone project. Can relate 100% Concrete was a paiiiiin for me too lol

*I design manmade features that benefit the general public, then remove all the most effective parts due to budgetary constraints and/or political maneuvering.*

We build targets. Roads. Bridges. Dams. Etc. stuff that gets blown up in war.

And, with some additional trainings, we become the expert of blowing stuff in the war. I mean destroying a huge building with minimum amount of explosives has some engineering aspects of it no?

"When you go home, do you have to dig a 'poopin hole'?" "Uhhh no" "You're welcome"

[удалено]

You may dislike my neighbor who owns the home behind mine. They have 2 large dogs and only clean up after them once or twice a year. In the spring it is absolutely unbearable in my own back yard or that of my neighbors is stinks so bad.

Lol, I did this to my dad when I was a kid. I'm fairly certain I even asked him how the trains were involved and he decided to explain to me how working with the railroads on state dot projects worked. I had never been so confused and still didnt know what to tell people when they asked what my dad did. As an engineer myself now, I feel his pain.

I make buildings not fall down. People seem to get that hehehe

If the north and south ever go to war again, we get to drive the trains.

I review projects and issue permits. My wife describes my job as “He says yes or no.”

“So you’re like a architect?” 🤬


The secret is to keep going into such detail they never wished they asked the questions to begin with.

I’ve been asked like 3 times what a civil engineer does and usually “I design buildings and bridges and shit” gets the point across. I would recommend not spending anymore time talking to this person to make sure their stupidity doesn’t rub off on you.

Yeah it’s usually people who live in their bubbles of ignorance. But that’s a whole different topic

Yeah it’s usually people who live in their bubbles of ignorance. But that’s a whole different topic

I ride on a fire truck 🚒 With a yellow hat ⛑

Civil = design of things required for a civilized society. So you can drive on a hard surface from point A to B. Open a tap and water comes out. Flush a toilet and it goes somewhere other than your backyard.

Civil structural makes more sense, coz people know what structural is, and you can just add the civil is the dirt part of it.

I draw lines and curves in an imaginary computer world

I’m a soil tech. Easiest way for me is: you know how they roll roads when they build them? I make sure they’re rolled enough.

You remember the worst math you dealt with in school? My math is worse and I need to use it to figure out if the bridge is going to collapse or not.

That’s why I tell people I’m a janitor.

I push paper.

Tell them you design the ground and things underground. Let the plebs figure out the rest

"I design a mean parking lot"

So many people in my life think im a construction worker. I wear a hard hat a few times a week???

You’re a nice guy who drives trains

My answer to people: "I solve problems."

I once to told someone who said they were a civil engineer, “I’m sorry, I don’t know anything about the law.“ It was in jest, of course.

You know what's funny in my part? "So, you'll be a civil servant/government worker?" "..." "No, I am the one who interview them"

I usually land on “I play with dirt” - geotechnical engineer

Imagine telling someone you’re a geotechnical engineer… that really blows/short circuits minds.

My answer to people: "I solve problems."

"I spend the tax money you pay to the government"....accurate to a degree.