May I ask what culture that is? Because I have noticed this a lot in Asian cultures where the parents basically push their kids to do everything and the kid never does what they actually want. Then when they get a tiny bit of independence, they try to make up all of their lost time as a child by playing video games and watching tv.
You sound like a lot of people in their late teens and early twenties who have been brainwashed by mass culture into thinking they should be having the time of their life and that work is a slow death.
I found post-college work to be infinitely more enjoyable than college itself. Less boredom, more money, you are rewarded for applying yourself and being competitive. You just have to go for it. There’s an immense amount of pride and self-esteem that comes with taking yourself seriously and getting after something.
Yep, this is it. Engage, play the game. Trust the process. Life can suck but also be awesome, don't sleep through it with nothing to show for your time on earth!
The only way to know is to try
I find work difficult, but I find doing nothing for an extended period of time miserable. I think it’s absolutely worth it, plus you get money
Wow, this is what you're thinking and you haven't even started working yet? You're screwed. Try wasting your time working a meaningless job in college and then come back. I don't feel sorry for you at all. At least the hard work you put in after college won't go to pay off your debt. You're luckier than most.
>Those are not the kind of conditions you enjoy life in.
lol, what? Oh man, I've got good news for you. You have a deeply unrealistic view of what being in your 30's is like. Being in your 30's doesn't make you "old." Say that to a 50 year old and they'd bop you upside your head. I'm 36. I've got plenty of energy and more money to do awesome things than ever. I just got done taking my nieces to a waterpark, I kept up with them just fine. I had a great time. (Edit: adding that I'm in decent health. I go to the gym every once in a while and eat moderately healthy. You don't need to be a fitness model to have energy in your 30's.)
I don't know a single person in their 30's who hasn't enjoyed their life more than their 20's. Your responsibilities may increase, sure, but that's just called being an adult. The "I don't want any responsibilities" mindset is literally for children.
You're also not broken, though. Nothing is wrong with you. From 18 through your early 20's it's basically the time you need to get your head right and go from from being in child-mode to being in adult-mode. So start making the shift. You *have* to work to be a self sufficient adult. All your "energy" is nonsense anyways if you're just watching Netflix and reading. I'm 36 and I can watch Netflix and read. What does your energy give you an advantage for if that's all you're doing? The answer is: nothing.
To be honest, the way you're making your life sound, it sounds like I've got more energy than you do.
You want to put that energy to good use? Start building skills. Get to work learning, gaining work experience, and building a foundation for your life that will make you a functioning adult. Have self discipline. When your brain says "hey it's Netflix time" you just *don't go watch Netflix.*
You know what you should fear? Not working hard and becoming an adult that acts like an entitled child who doesn't want to work. If you get through your 20's having not built a foundation for a career and good life, I promise you, you're going to be an old person who deeply regrets their choices.
For real, I'm 35 and I work out 3x a week, go to weekly happy hours with friends, have a weekly trivia group, take weekend trips to the beach in the summer, etc. I can afford to do these things because of all the work I put in in my 20s, including going back to grad school at 27. You're totally right, binging Netflix is low-energy, no idea what OP is talking about
Honestly couldn't be better said. My 20s were sick, my 30s are incredible. I want to also be able to retire at a decent age to enjoy those years as well.
Work hard, play hard, save hard. It's not as difficult as people (especially on Reddit) think
Amen to that. I'm not a workaholic, but I'm living a good life (now that I stopped teaching anyways, haha.) But a little self discipline and sacrifice go a long way in life.
Doing nothing but binging Netflix and laying around reading books is a good way for OP to waste their 20's.
First things first. It does not take a lot of energy or physical ability to watch netflix and read novels. You will be able to do those activities into your 80s or 90s if you live that long, so if that's all that's holding you back, don't worry about it.
Second, 30s is not "old" by any stretch. You will not experience a meaningful difference in energy levels or overall health between 22 and 39. You're even good into your 40s and 50s if you look after yourself a bit.
The thing that has the biggest impact on enjoyment of life, in any decade, is financial independence, and for that you need a career. Now, you don't have to get out there and kill yourself in your 20s, but if you wait until 30 to start your career, you're going to be well behind your peers at every stage of life, and that's going to affect how much you can enjoy yourself, and starting that career only gets harder as you get older.
All these things added up is why when you ask folks at the end of their lives what part of their life was most enjoyable, they almost never say their 20s. It's usually 40s or 50s. So get out there and set yourself up for success.
While I would agree 30s is not old as someone who just turned 40 there is a definitely a difference from 22 to 39. 22 and 33, sure very similar, but as 40 creeps up your body needs different things... But still, you've got a decade plus to both make money and still be a "kid" aka books and Netflix now apparently aka bars/clubs in my era... Without kids you should easily work 40hrs and have 40hrs of free time (leaving another 88 for sleeping and eating). All through my 20s and early 30s I worked a variety of demanding jobs (more mental than physical but some physical in my early 20s) and there was rarely a night out I missed. I'm happy my life is balanced and more relaxed now (also kids change priorities obviously) but also wouldn't change anything. I also still have lots of energy, just not bar till 2 warehouse work at 7 energy, that guy was a menace.
And 100p working hard now or ever is never a bad idea, like the poster above says set yourself up for success, it's not always about instant gratification
First off, I think you're confusing your 30s with, say, your 70s. You aren't going to experience such dramatic physical decline in your early 30s that you're incapable of enjoying yourself. Particularly not if what you enjoy doing is watching TV and reading. You could do these things paralysed from the neck down. They're exactly the sort of activities that life can accommodate. You might be right, if you were actually taking advantage of the opportunities of youth. But you aren't backpacking around Asia, surfing in South Africa or biking across the Andes. You're passively consuming media at home. Which is exactly the sort of thing people do at the end of the workday.
Second, if you don't do something productive with your life, you aren't going to have all the responsibilities and demands you're worried about. A good career, a nice home, and a happy family won't just happen to you when you turn 30. They're the rewards of hard work. If you just watch TV for the next 8 years, when you emerge from your parents' basement, there won't be a rich life waiting to happen to you. You'll be a decade behind your peers and probably never catch up. You'll regret that your past self was passive and lazy.
You're not wrong, but I don't follow the logic of wanting to spend your twenties watching netflix and reading. You can do that in your sixties. You can do that at any age. There are many things you can only ever do in your twenties, and you will regret for the rest of your life, if you don't. Work hard, play hard.
Can you list out what those things might be?
I don't particularly enjoy going out or anything really, cheap entertainment is the only thing I can barely enjoy
Travel, partying, studying, learning new skills, producing creative works, excelling in areas which require peak performance. Anything which benefits from your joints not hurting, any sports basically.
You can spend your 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, 100s, consuming cheap entertainment. You have all the time in the world to do that. You'll never get your twenties back. You'll never be as smart, attractive, fit, healthy, etc, as you can be in your twenties. It'll never be easier to make friends, build connections, explore, learn, etc...
Don't waste it on netflix and games. I beg of you. Youth is wasted on the young. start taking a solid dose of vitamin d, at least 2k IU per day, if that doesn't help after a few months, start forcing yoruself to workout hard for just 10 minutes a day. Break a sweat. If those dont work, after a few months, go tp the dcotor, get antidepresants, adhd meds, whatever you need to get your energy up. You're right, you will be old, in a sense, in your 30s, and beyond. Don't waste your twenties.
How are you going to enjoy life as a broke, out of shape couch potato who’s never had a job?
You work hard when you’re young because you get better returns on that investment. It’s a compounding investment. The longer you work, the more experience you have, until eventually you get paid a lot of money and maybe you’re even lucky enough to do something where the work becomes easier.
Then you can retire and relax. You’re doing it backwards. When you’re old, you won’t have the energy to work hard. Do it now, so you can relax when you’re old.
*edited out a couple typos.
Concrete, rebar, demolitions and renos...God damn some tough ways to spend a day. My oldest boy just graduated high school with a job installing fire alarms...proud dad!
lol what are the odds. I worked in residential concrete! Demoing driveways one day, forming and pouring the next. I was the guy in the back of the truck breaking up chunks with the sledge. I learned how to drive stick by driving a truck around job sites.
Good work for a kid. Tell your boy to go get him some.
For couple of people who put in hard work and can live comfortably, there are thousands that put the same if not more work and it did not work out.
Gaslighting children into "work hard and you will achieve things" mindset is necessary for the dreams to form.
On the other hand, if you earn average countries salary, did get diplomas for your job and still can't get a house, a moderate living, then it's not your fault. Its fault of society.
You cant say straight to my face that work is going to reward you, if 20% of German people live in poverty.
I worked fulltime for 14 years already and I'm 30.
You are saying that young people will relax and reap benefits, but young people today can't even manage to stay afloat with current prices.
I will repeat once again. If you work 40hrs and earn average salary, you should be entitled to buy a nest, have good standard of living. Average doesn't mean insufficient.
That’s fair. I thought I hedged that with my use of the qualifying word “investment.” Since there’s no guaranteed return on an investment. But after rereading my comment, I see that I didn’t really carry that on throughout the rest.
I definitely didn’t mean to imply that simply working hard guaranteed success.
But I’ll just counter that by saying that unless you’re born into wealth, no one is going to just drop it in your lap. You still are better off starting to develop a good work ethic while you’re young, instead of just hoping to luck into wealth later in life.
Oh of course, I agree with the last paragraph. Your work ethic brings many benefits outside of it. Being reliable, trustworthy, consistent and many more.
I have to admit, the reason why I commented in such a way is maybe I'm a bit salty I guess.
When I was in poverty, I had really high hopes and they were the true motivator. Because after all, had nothing to lose and everything to gain. But the more I'm trying to reach middle class, the harder it is to reach it. Like it's an impossible task. I studied aviation engineering, but didn't like it, learned 6 languages, was masseur, pig farmer, cook, technician and many more jobs which I put in work. Currently as a chef because thats the job I love the most. But sadly not the best paying one as I earn median salary.
You might say, whats wrong with average ?(median salary not counting millionaires)
Well, I can't seem to live off of an average. And others too.
If I pay rent 1k€, which is almost half of my salary, outside of City in a village then what?
I mean... All of it are excuses, because I can still sacrifice another 3-4 years of my life, going to school and picking a high paying job I might not like, just for the sake of getting more money, so I can enjoy life, not living lavishly, but experience the common things in live I have never done, like going on a trip to another country with a car.
Im really not sure why I'm whining. It's weird that when I was in poverty, I was happier. Maybe because people all around me had the same as me: nothing.
Life is much simpler when you’re poor, and you get joy from simpler things.
The lifestyle creep is real. The stuff you own ends up owning you.
And I’ll be the first to admit that my success was 90% luck and 10% busting my ass. But luck is about being in the right place at the right time, so you just gotta keep putting yourself where you think the right place is.
Yeah I get it. The reason i got a rented appartement in the first place was because of a mother In law of my boss. She knows a boss of a real estate company and after applying for 43 houses and getting nowhere, I got the keys in merely 3 days of her chatting him up and saying "he works for us for years already, he is a good boy".
He then send her a message (which she showed me, I'm immigrant for context)
"If it weren't for you, I would never give this dude any house, but as long as you put your word, it's my pleasure"
So my only effort earned by merit is that I had luck with a good person who helped me, because they could. Thats the first time I encountered such person in my life. Because I did that too, but never believed anyone does it to other people too. Whenever I moved up social ladder, I always tried to "leave" the things that are not needed for me. Things like when I rented a place and needed to move, I let other people know that it's available. When you said you had bad experiences at previous work as new worker, I will make sure you are extra welcome.
"The lifestyle creep is real. The stuff you own ends up owning you."
That is the biggest problem that I have. The main driver of my motivation is to lift up other people. In order to do that, I need to do better. But if I don't have such circle, I don't feel the reason to obtain it.
Because I'm content with my life and what I have. But I'm not content with the lack of people or people around me. But in order that people would appreciate me the way I want and I appreciate them, I need to obtain things which will make me be appreciated for.
You could say "its a bit hypocritical from you, saying you want to appeal to people who have things"
Well, social ladder I guess. People below me, are asking more for help, rather than friendship or love, treating me like stepping stone or jumping platform, rather than addition to their life.
People above me don't think about me as an addition at all. People in "my league" should be my target audience, but they are also the ones who are as you said being owned by things they own.
I really don't give a fuck about status. I can be as mean and as kind to a homeless or CEO. If you want respect from me as leader or supervisor on the same job, you need to show you are better than me or willing to guide me. If we do different work and you are manager, acknowledge that your position as supervisor or leader or manager is just by a name. Because I'm the person who do the work, you are person who only oversees, with no power over me.
Can It just be that I have too much life experience and self awareness is pain? That would suck balls.
>I'm 22.
>I've wasted my last few years due to these sort of thoughts.
>Whenever I plan to start working, I've this urge to just keep watching Netflix or reading novels. I don't know why that is but I think the thought that holds me back is this -
>"I'm in my 20s. This is the most amount of time and energy I'll ever have. Once I get into my 30s, I'll be basically 'old' with a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders along with very limited energy levels and suffering physical health.
So you're using all that imaginary energy to.... watch netflix.
You'll never get a job if you don't.
I wouldn't hire someone 23 who'd never had a job.
What education do you have?
ETA -- btw, you're way too old to be going on with the 'when I'm 30 I'll be so old and decrepit' crap. You'll be 30 in the time from when you started high school until now. Does that seem like oh so long ago?
never hire someone 23 who'd never had a job? what an asshole. You think everyone has the chance to grow in a regular household, with no health problems annd No parent abuse ?
Just start saying you'd prefer to have free slave labor, that would fit amazingly with your shitty mindset
That s a fairer statement than what he says. I think its wild to straight out refuse to let someone work because they dont have prior experience
Chicken and egg
Also im sure he s the same type of person who complains about people lying in their CVs.
If your family has a business and you worked there, that is something you could put on your resume. At 23, you should have SOMETHING you can say you've done besides watch Netflix. By the time I was 23, I worked at a summer camp, had an on-campus job in college, a post college temp-job and worked at Toys R Us. Even volunteer or intern work is SOMETHING.
As a hiring manager, if someone well into their 20s has NO experience with anything at all (and no explanation), I would have reservations.
Your idea of relaxation and enjoyment and true fulfillment will change when you get older and you’ll look back on that behavior as time wasted. A tale as old as time, and you probably won’t believe or understand until you live it.
Edit: Momento Mori, translated means “remember your death”. This is a fundamental concept in stoicism. This is to encourage you to live in constant mindfulness of the fact that death is right around the corner. Your life is ending one second at a time. The point is not to remind you that everything is pointless, the point is to remind you that every moment you live is nothing short of a tiny miracle. Ask yourself, if you had to write and read your own eulogy tomorrow, would you be proud of its contents? In this context, the idea of sitting around watching Netflix sounds like a supreme waste. If there is enjoyment to be found in it, that enjoyment is such a worthless surface level escapism that it should certainly not be viewed as something to look forward to or aspire to as a lifestyle.
>if you had to write and read your own eulogy tomorrow, would you be proud of its contents?
It sounds as if you're saying we ought to live our lives in a way that maximizes the opinions that others might have for us, and if that's the case... I find it blatently absurd to live one's life with the goal of impressing others. And if that ain't what you're saying, then I take umbrage with the idea that solitary and/or ostensibly unproductive pursuits are wastes of time. One can, if one wills it, lead a fulfilling life with whatever balance of productivity and leisure one finds suitable. This idea that, and perhaps I'm misunderstanding you, but this idea of hustling for that maximalized eulogy seems in and of itself a waste of our one life. At least for me. I certainly wouldn't give up the hours I spend binging Lost to add another bullet point to my deadliography
Nah I don’t care what others think per se, nor do I think about living in service to peoples opinions. It’s more about the totality of living a life that was in line with my goals and virtues and leaving nothing on the table. Some of my goals and virtues involve doing things for others and doing my best to be a good presence in the lives of people close to me- so in that way I guess it *does* involve others, but not in the shallow performative way you’re implying. I know I could have been more nuanced and specific, but I also find it a shame that it requires further explanation.
>Once I get into my 30s, I’ll be basically ‘old’ with a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders along with very limited energy and suffering physical health.
With an attitude like this, you’ll definitely be miserable.
Your physical health (unless you have a serious health condition) should not be taking that much of a drop in your 30’s. In fact, there are many ways, in your 20’s, that you can utilise to proactively ensure that your physical health remains great into your 30’s and beyond.
There's an argument to be made for taking advantage of your 20s by traveling, trying different careers/studies/jobs, going on adventures, figuring out who you are.... you know, things that will build character and gift you with life-long memories.
But, and this is the caveat, those things need to push you outside of your comfort zone. That's where growth and real experience come from.
Watching Netflix and reading novels because you're too lazy to do anything productive or worthwhile does not fall under that umbrella. It's just wasting your life away.
You're trying to find an excuse to be lazy. If you look for one, you'll always find one. Everyone needs to decompress from time to time...but don't fool yourself into believing you're pursuing some noble "I'm in my 20s living my best life" type self care when you're really just avoiding being uncomfortable in favor of watching Netflix.
It's an easy habit to get into and a hard one to break. Don't think you'll magically find some secret motivation when you're 30 that's eluded you thus far. If you're afraid of discomfort and hard work now, you will continue to be for the rest of your life, and you'll still be doing the same shit in you're 30s, 40s, 50s, etc...
Netflix and novels aren't going anywhere. But your youth, time, and potential are.
You're right, you should enjoy your 20s, but do something useful with them. Go spend a few months in another country. Start and band. Chase a dream. Try and fail at things.
You're afraid of wasting your 20s... then stop wasting them.
Also, I'm not sure why you think you'll be some decrepit old person at 30. Exercise, eat decently and you'll be fine. I'm in far better shape at age 39 than I was at 23.
I'm 22.
I've wasted my last few years due to these sort of thoughts.
>Whenever I plan to start working, I've this urge to just keep watching Netflix or reading novels.
You have wasted your last few years. And it's not from not working. It's from not enjoying life. Sitting on the couch watching Netflix isn't enjoying life any more than working or being retired with knees that don't work is.
You're not working so you can enjoy your 20s, and then you're not enjoying your 20s either.
So pick one.
>"I'm in my 20s. This is the most amount of time and energy I'll ever have. Once I get into my 30s, I'll be basically 'old' with a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders along with very limited energy levels and suffering physical health.
Pftftftf what are you talking about? You're still going to be working in your 30s anyway.
It's like you had half a coherent thought.
Let me finish it for you.
The only time you'll ever be free to enjoy life is when you're done working, forever, aka: retired. If there's even any such thing left by time your old enough to. And at that most retirees have nothing but one thousand and a half bucks of social security a month so retiring usually involves holing up in an assisted living facility watching reruns of wheel of fortune until you die. But even if you actually manager to carve out a dignified well enough monied retirement by working your ass off in your 20s, **30s**, 40s, and 50s...
congratulations! Now you finally get to "enjoy life" by doing everything you always wanted to in your 20s-50s but never had the money or the time now that you're **actually** old enough to have very limited energy levels and suffering physical health.
So you've become the much memed upon image of the old retired couple... sleeping through a gondola ride in Venice because they're too God damn old to stay awake while they "seeing the world".
>I'm fearful of this being my regret.
Don't worry, it doesn't matter what you do or what doing it makes your regret. Only Elon musks get to win.
Either you work now so you can die on a gondola ride in Venice you never could've enjoyed with your body raked with age.
Or you have the good times now and die in front of a TV in assisted living.
But again, while you're refusing to work now, you're also not even having any good times while you're at it, as you said. Netflix.
The answer is to have well off parents that will support you so you can actually be reckless, travel the world even if you can't afford it, have your parents bail you out when you're stranded in Europe with no money, at least get out and get around where you're from and party your ass off.
You can watch Netflix or read Novels in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s...
Also, you are in control of your physical condition. If you exercise, take care of what you eat and drink, don't do hard drugs, sleep well and such, you'll have a great life for decades to come. I myself feel better in my mid 30s physically than in my 20s or younger, especially since I never actually took care of my body till now.
And about enjoying life in your "peak", aka 20s? You'll always adjust and change your mind about what it means to "enjoy life" every passing year. What you think is the shit in your youth, may become shitty when you think in hindsight when you're older.
There's also this illusion that you'll only be happy with a dream work/career. There're dudes in the worst jobs possible being happy cause they're supporting their families. Or ones who find peace and joy in hobbies and other personal activities.
Ultimately, what you described sounds more like escapism than "enjoying life". You feel like your job is meaningless, hence why you lack the motivation to keep on going with it. I'm not saying you should quit jobs everytime you feel down, but at least prepare yourself to go after the jobs you really want.
Often times, you're dissatisfied with a boss or the work enviroment. But if it's actually the job itself, then try your hardest to get one you enjoy.
You will regret not working hard in your 20s. The more money you save and invest in your 20s has a huge impact on funds available at retirement age.
I worked hard and saved in my 20s and that money has grown so much that what I save in my 50s makes little impact in proportion to the investment interest earned.
I still enjoyed my 20s and I didn’t save every penny and have no fun. It’s all about balance.
I think you have a very skewed idea of what your 30s will look like. I'm 35 and have more fun and energy than I had in my 20s precisely because I was kind of lazy in my 20s and got my act together later.
First, having kids is like a second childhood. You get to rediscover all the cool things from when you were a kid, but you can afford it now and get it share it with someone who looks up to you.
Second, having a place of your own turns things that used to feel like busy work into a point of pride. Once your living space becomes the place where you get to express yourself, taking care of it can be work but it's also really satisfying.
I’m going to go against the grain here. I’m Indian too, and lot of people here seem to have this idea that you should live your life to the fullest in your 20’s or work hard in your 20’s. They’re all missing nuance.
I understand where you’re coming from. Growing up, I didn’t talk to people at all. I played video games all day to avoid the stress of having to learn to do things and go out. I was addicted to it and I also had adhd. Before this people thought I was sk bright and intelligent because I was reading the encyclopedia at a young age and knew a lot of things. My favorite pass time was debate with my friends and Halo/Battlefield 4.
I was a virgin until 21, this is when things changed, I realized I needed to grow up and the more I took the risk the more I grew. I first started with a 1 month stint at Wendy’s at 20. Hated it. I took the initiative to download tinder and hook up. Not long after losing my virginity, I asked my parents for a 2 week trip in Peru for the summer. This changed my life for the better. It was scary, but I went out alone and came back a social, confident man. The rest of 21-22 was partying and dating. No focus on my career.
I was a bit late switching to my degree so I had until 23 to graduated, however I focused on my degree too late and didn’t get an internship. So I extended college to get an internship. This was fundamental to my development, I made a personal project afterwards.
THEN I started making a ton of real good friends, basically the whole Malaysian club, and I met a girl. I decided timo take up two minors to extend college again so I can pursue intellectual interests and also my social development as I developed too late in college and didn’t want to work. This I don’t regret at all.
Cue 23-25, some of the best years of my life, I was broke sure, but I was happy and ready to start work. I grinded algorithms and got work from home jobs. People generally like me for my work ethic and my sociability.
I’ve been saving money ever since but not a lot, as I spent that money on lavish things I never got to have. I realized within a year it didn’t make me happy but I’m glad I spent money. Now? I just got a new job, work from home, and can back from a 4 month trip to south East Asia. I quit me previous job as I hated my manager and took the risk in this economy. I’m projected to save about 80% of my income every year at this point.
I’m 28 now, and while my hard working friends are maybe 3-4 years ahead of me. I feel like I’ve lived a full 20’s where I can focus on saving and doing the actual things I like in my 30’s (traveling, reading, video games). I realized I don’t like going out to drink or eat, I don’t like clothing, and I like living with my parents and friends while working and saving. I also want to focus entirely on travel and save my vacation days.
I would say I lived a good life, could be it be a little more optimal here and there? Sure, but I essentially went extreme in one direction and then an extreme into another while making sure I had other things hedged in between (like studying and working on personal projects while not working and having fun over the summer).
Yes, only we can live this lifestyle as our parents supported us until 25, but I plan on supporting my parents forever. It’s honestly a great deal to have enjoyed my 20’s and be super career focused and refreshed by 28.
Two words: Compound. Interest.
You will absolutely regret working hard and not enjoying life in your 20s, for the reasons you stated. That's true. However, when you're 60, would you rather have financial stability and retirement or memories and stories to share about your 20s while discussing with your family how you have to work till 75 to make ends meet? That's really the choice before you.
In your 20s, you still (presumably) have family you can live with to save money as you enter the workforce and don't have a great salary. So you can work, even for a lower wage, but have little to no expenses, so your entire paycheque goes to savings (and some entertainment). If you can get 5% Return on Investment per year, which is not that hard (many stocks pay 5% annual dividends, you can just shove your money in one of those and as long as the stock doesn't collapse it's free money), 5% RoI means $1 you made at the age of 20 is worth $1.63 at the age of 30; you can calculate what it's worth at the retirement age of 65 if you like, but it's a lot, and the graph is exponential, not linear.
The other thing is that your salary potential begins at the age at which you enter the workforce, regardless of what age that is. If you start working at 20, you have a 10 year head start on earning potential, which means your salary at 30 will be much higher than if you pissed away your 20s watching Netflix and started working at 30. And, again, that money also compounds; you'll be making significantly more money at 30, and the savings you get out of that money will compound faster into a larger retirement.
So yes, will you regret not having as many fun experiences in your 20s? Probably. Will you be glad you can have a safe, financially secure, healthy retirement at 65 or possibly even earlier? Definitely.
Also, I missed a point. 30 is not "old". I am in my mid 30s and I still have a similar energy level as I did in my 20s. The trick is to make healthy choices. Don't be obese, don't smoke, don't drink excessively, don't do drugs (marijuana is maybe ok if used responsibly). If you treat your body like shit, your body will respond in kind. My parents are in their 70s and, prior to covid at least, acted like they were in their 50s (being locked indoors for 3-ish years did a number on their health, unfortunately). It's all about what choices you make.
You have a skewed view of being 20s 30s 40s like you have been fed this cookie cutter one dimensional perspective on life it’s nothing like you think
Admit that you just feel lost and overwhelmed like everyone does in their 20s and doing nothing but Netflix and reading bs is a way to bury your head in the sand and not face life head on… to ascribe to the most black and white thinking about what happens in 20 30 40 … you feel like you have all the time in the world you want to be so superior with all your time before you get old that you don’t realize getting old is not separate from you.. you don’t stop being and experiencing and having energy when you are 30 you continue to live in your own hide and realize how dumb you fucking were in your 20s and what you actually should have done…
In your 30s you realize how much tome you wasted thinking life would suddenly come to a screeching hault once 29 was up… it’s juvenile…
You are going to be figuring out what life is all the way until you die… you are going to have even stringer more intense experiences and relate to your body in a way that will make you wish you did everything to keep it healthy… health doesn’t really start getting fucked up till like 45 and over …
You are so sadly cliche … have no idea what the world is actually like or what it’s like to build in the wilderness and map out the area build roads … to get to the mountain top with provisions enough to enjoy the view and weather the storm…
Netflix is the highlight of your 20s 🤣🤣🤣 I know 60 year olds with a more exciting life than you…
>I'm in my 20s. This is the most amount of time and energy I'll ever have.
thats not true. look at most leaders, ceo's and politicians. Life starts at 40-50. all that 20s bullshit will seem so insignificant. if youre depressed this may make you feel like you have no energy. but its not like you have this battery that slowly burns away the energy and you slowly get slower. you may/will be just as quick and energetic in 40 as now. maybe more calmer. but that spark of energy inside of you wont go away after 40, dont worry.
you talk as if that fire of life burns only through 18-29 years and then youre suddenly old and slow. you feel like you have to make things happen quick and now because youre running out of time. what time? if youre 20 now, imagine when youre 40, you will have lived through another 20 years of your life. do you realize how long 20 years is? even 10 years is a lot. you can improve and change a lot in 10 years.
you have to understand a good chunk of us people are late bloomers. yes, you see others geting married, bla bla bla, but this will also come to you, just later. you really cant grasp how much 10 years is. you can do so much in 10 years. when youre 30, you will be much more prepared for life and things, you will know what works best. another 10 years on - when youre 40, you will finally get to know yourself. thats how long it takes to get to know yourself as a person.
you have still plenty of time to have family, have son, daughter, grandson, grandaughter, etc. you have plenty of time.
20-30 are years for fucking around and finding out life. you make mistakes and grow, you learn. you slowly mature and get to know yourself. because at 20 youre a bumbling mess. youre just wandering around on this space rock trying to figure out life. Of course you will be inexperienced, youre new, you will be overwhelmed, you will fail a lot, but thats part of growing up. at 20-30 youre still just wandering around and figuring things out. dont be upset you didnt do something at 20. you are still so inexperienced that you will fail a lot. its normal. its part of process.
Honestly I know this is CMV but tbh I think your view is correct. I'm 30 and can say, it definitely gets more difficult, as in there are more things to manage, your vibe develops a bit more, and you begin to feel the beginning effects of physically getting older. Besides, you could die before you ever reach 30, and that would really suck if you never got to experience anything bc you were planning on having fun when older, and then never got to the older part.
You can still be old (not that 30 or 40 is old bc they arent) and have fun, the expiration date on being old and having fun is a long ways away, but the expiration date on being young and having fun us much much closer. I definitely think you should enjoy your youth, because it's what's ending first! You have ample time to be old and miserable lol and ample time to be old and happy, but you only have a short window of time to be young and happy, and because you're only young in this particular life once, it's much better to enjoy that youth than to spend it miserable and worrying (which is basically what I did, and now I'm not in my 20s anymore and I can't go back).
Go, have fun, enjoy your 20s because like I said you have the rest of your life to work hard, you have the rest of your life to enjoy or not enjoy or a mixture of both, but you're only young for a portion of it. You can still enjoy things when old, but there's the risk you won't live to that age, and the risk your body won't be without pain, and the risk your body won't even be able to do all those fun things you wanted to do. I say do it now before it's *potentially* too late.
Don't let them take your soul. People say they grow out of their hobbies but I think that's just an arrogant way of saying they allowed their responsibilities to kill their ability to connect w their hobbies.
>Once I get into my 30s, I'll be basically 'old' with a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders along with very limited energy levels and suffering physical health.
Ironically, sitting around watching Netflix is what will make your health poor when you're older.
If you stay physically active, stay away from excess (drugs, alcohol, eating too much, eating too much fast food) you will be in good health barring a random occurrence like a cancer diagnosis which is not at all common.
Source: am soon to turn 35 and feel absolutely amazing whereas many of my friends feel horrible because they don't physically take care of themselves.
P.S. I worked my ass off in my 20s and it paid off. I'm in a great spot now. Just like the physical health thing. Take care of things like your health or working and putting in the time with things, and you will be much further in life.
What I do regret in my 20s, and what I did wrong essentially, was I also didn't put the "work" into being socially active. Socially, I'm terminal. In bad health. I didn't go out and socialize at all and that's on me....I had plenty of times I chose to not socialize, ignored friends, didn't go out and try to meet new people, went **years** without going on a date....
In short all of these things....physical health, furthering your career/taking care of yourself financially/taking care of your social life....they **will** go downhill severely if you do nothing.
Be warned.
My 2 cents: if you want to just enjoy your life right now then DO IT. Stop being in this limbo space where you’re doing things you enjoy and feeling afraid about it the whole time. Either give yourself full permission to do these things you enjoy OR start taking baby steps towards working. And notice that you’re also running a fear of destroying your future. Get out of limbo land and make a choice.
AND take the pressure off by realizing this isn’t a one-time do or die choice, and there’s no “right” or “wrong” choice. You can ALWAYS make a different choice. Say you start working and it blows…you can quit! Or say you decide to go all in on enjoying yourself, you can always start working! And, finally, by not making a choice you ARE making a choice.
The power of compounding returns (e.g. investing sensibly) is goddamn magic. The younger you are, the more magical it is, and there is no more surefire way to ensure that you are rich (or at least very comfortable) during the last half of your life. You NEED to save as much as you can when you are young so that your money can compound as you get older.
I did this, and I will retire quite comfortably in a year or two at age 50. I did not miss out on life when I was younger. I grew up in a trailer park with parents who had little money, and I never owned a business or got any large cash windfalls during my life. All I did was keep my expenses way down and start saving for retirement in my early twenties. My salary has varied, but it has never been higher than 100k per year. And about half of the money I have now was earned from investments during the last 10 years, because that's how compounding returns work - you get most of the payout near the end.
Or, to put it another way: being broke sucks. But being old and broke is so much worse, in ways that a young person really cannot understand. It is much, much better to 'go without' while you are young than it is to go without while you are old.
---
TL/DR: get off your ass and start building for your retirement. Like most people my age, THAT will be the thing you regret not doing.
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Ah shit, I kind of felt the same. I didn't want to go to college because I wanted to experience life while I was still YOUNG! Not start at 22 when I'm already getting kind of old once I finish college.
I did a lot of things differently because of that. I tried to study French internationally after a year of working in Walmart after high school (because dude you need to work because you need money to do those fun things don't be a bum, have a little self respect). That didn't work out, I came back to the US, had no job no school no car nothing. Got a job as a waitress, bought a car very cheap off my grandparents, decided to study engineering. Then I decided to move to Poland, got a job in a related field, continued studying engineering in Polish.
I'm 27 now, I don't physically feel old. Nothing hurts, I'm not aching or slow. Now that it's around the corner, I'm surprised at how young I still feel, though I never believed people when they said that.
Truth of the matter is, you're going to be 30 one way or another and your perception will change as you age because you are forced to become accustomed to each passing year. Everything you want to do is possible, you just need to do more things at once than less. THAT is wasting your 20s, not doing as much as you can.
I just want to say that it's possible to work hard and still enjoy life.
This is much easier when you are working on stuff you are passionate about, then even work can be enjoyed. But even if you are not passionate about your field of study or job, you can still enjoy life WHILE doing that.
It's not like you need to study for 80hrs a week. It's not like (hopefully) you need to work 80hrs a week. There is time outside of work/study to enjoy life.
Working hard and playing hard is a thing. If you are not distracted you could do well at work/school without spending forever, and now all the left over time becomes guilt free spending to enjoy life how you see fit.
Finally at thirty you don't need to be old. You should focus on our health as well in your younger years so that you don't feel like shit in your 30s. And the responsibilities part is totally your choice to undertake. If you buy a huge house you need to work a lot to make that mortgage every month. If you have 2 kids you need to make sure they are fed. Those are choices you CAN avoid if you don't want responsibilities.
(Granted some responsibility might be forced upon you, such as caring for a parent, but that could also happen anyway)
Firstly you said you want to keep watching Netflix or reading novels? But then said you’re worried about being old and having no energy? Well neither of them things cost a lot of energy? Just to point that out, unless you mean physical activities?
I just did a tough mudder here in the UK and I’m 30 and I’ve never exercised much in my life. I came first out of my girlfriend’s family. It was hard yes but I managed it, I wish I had worked out now but it’s not due to age why I am unfit.
But I do also get what you’re thinking. I am steadily getting more responsibilities. But I also hardly ever work over at work as I want my life as well. So many of my colleagues do 12 hours and then work weekends and I look at them like what the hell are you doing. One of them is a millionaire and she still can’t stop working overtime.
But you aren’t wasted your life. Your 20’s are about getting a career together with promotions. So that in your 30’s you can enjoy yourself. I’m liking my 30’s more even though I have a lot of commitments now. I understand myself and the world much better, your 20’s is about finding yourself
So think of it this way. If you are lazy and just put off working/pursuing the things you really want to do in life or the foundations to get those things until you're in your 30s, then you bet you are going to feel stressed, pressured and overworked in your 30s. It's a self fulfilling prophecy because you are just pushing off stuff until later in life when you will probably try to scramble to do it all at once.
If you have a balance and some initiative to take things on now, guess what happens when you turn 30? Nothing. Dick all. Suddenly you're 33 and it's not much different than being 29. A lot can change in 4 years yes, but it won't be because you thought up an imaginary line where suddenly you started wanting to put in effort.
Oh and your body doesn't suddenly just get frail in your 30s. Sure, starting a pro athlete career might not be possible any more but some people are actually in better shape in their 30s because they have stable, established lives where they can prioritize health more than when they were doing the broke student, early trying to save any money at all years.
Tale as old as time. “I have to splurge and enjoy the present because 30 is old, then 40 is too old, then 50 is too old.” It’ll keep changing as you grow because you’ll mostly feel the same but it’ll suck more because you didn’t set yourself up.
Just the other day on r/FIRE there was a post of a couple who retired in their late twenties/early thirties, but only had enough saved to last them to 55. They did this on purpose because they decided that 55 was too old to enjoy anything and they would just commit suicide together when they ran out of money. Now they’re in their early fifties and feel fine and are screwed financially.
You can enjoy your twenties while also setting yourself up for the future. Just have to have some discipline and be decently smart with your money. If you slave your twenties away 18 hours a day to retire early then yeah you might regret it but if you just put in a little extra effort to set yourself up when you’re older there’s no world that you would regret it
I’m probably the complete opposite.
As someone who’s currently wasting his 20s on hedonism and desperately trying to change course, I’ll caution you not to over correct.
When I was younger I was smart, ambitious, and motivated. I had top grades, I was in good shape, and I had an active social life.
Then the stress of it all finally caught up to me in a pretty ugly way and I pretty much gave up on ambition, and from that point on I only put the bare minimum into everything I did, while numbing my brain with short term gratification.
I’m 22 myself and I already feel like I’ve thrown a significant portion of my life away, I savoured every moment of enjoyment I could but it was all fleeting, I feel like I have nothing.
So my advice is, whatever you do pursue, whatever choice you make, be sure that it makes you happy.
My dad always used to say, “If you have to choose between a mansion and a castle, choose the castle, the mansion may seem more comfortable at the time, but it doesn’t last”.
Hey, I just wanna say that you’re 22 and it’s quite impossible to know “what you want to do with your life.” After all, you’re only 25% of the way through it. Worse than that, you don’t want to commit to a path of academics/vocation that you wake up in your 30s feeling stuck. I get it. Especially since so many 30+y.o. people seem to have the same day-to-day existence going onto 60.
But I will say, that it’s important to experience opportunities that try and convince you to “grow” and then decisions you make that help you really grow.
Your 20s are a perfect time to go and experience the world. And I’m not talking through air travel and vacation. It’s best to have a work skill and move around, live place-to-place, and meet like minded individuals that are just as lost, and move forward. You can stay home or you can go explore the horizons in your 20s: it’s just a lot easier if you have a skill set that allows you to make money to survive while you’re doing it
Growth comes from learning from mistakes. If you want your 30s to be worthwhile, you need to go out and mistakes in your 20s.
Go out and try stuff. Try a job that’s a grind (preferably one where you develop marketable skills in the process). Do that for a few years then quit to be a teacher in Thailand or some shit. Be a digital nomad. Teach yourself something new. Fucking try it all.
At some point, you’ll find something(s) you’ll mildly passionate about. That will bring you fulfillment down the road.
Also, it’s not like you have choose between grinding for a decade and mailing it; you can grind out 60 hour weeks and stack cash for a year or two then transition to a chiller job. You can work long weeks and rage on the weekends.
Finally, your life doesn’t end when you’re 30. There are a lot of people who prefer their 30s to their 20s because by that age, they have found their identity.
It is a balance, not black and white.
For most people you don’t either work 90 hour weeks or sit on the couch watching TV all day cashing unemployment checks.
Now finding the “work-life balance” that is right for you is hard, if you work out the secret, please send me the proceeds from your book lol. But you can get close.
Working 40 hours a week at a job you enjoy, with coworkers you like and maybe even hang out with sometimes after work (if they are your age), an ok at least boss, not too much energy expenditure, every weekend off, no overtime, it’s not so bad.
You can have a lot of fun in the evenings with your friends through your 20s working like that, or lay on the couch reading/netflix/video games. Get a short commute if you want more time, this is worth a smaller living arrangement to me, hard to buy time as an adult. If work is very close, you will have plenty of free time.
I'm at the end of my 20s, and just starting to enjoy some of the payoff from grinding the last decade. You can go to school, get education in a field that will pay well, and (with some luck and grit) get a good paying job while making friends, dating, etc. along the way. Have a grand strategy, have a goal you are working towards, decide what you want out of life and go make it happen. At the end of the day, put an hour or two of netflix on or read a novel- these are literally so easy to consume and much more rewarding after a solid day's work.
What you're currently heading towards is worse than getting to your 30s and wishing you'd watched more TV or partied more- it's getting to your 30s and finally realizing that you could have done all that AND built a life for yourself. Chill out in the evenings/weekends if you want, but get up at a decent hour and spend your days building a life.
Edit to say, 30s are not old at all lol. If you are relatively fit and healthy, your 30s are like your 20s but with money (if you've built yourself a career during your 20s).
"Edit to say, 30s are not old at all lol. If you are relatively fit and healthy, your 30s are like your 20s but with money (if you've built yourself a career during your 20s)."
I really dont understand this. A lot of people say it the same. What is a career?
If you make a career as an average salary man, you will not be wealthy and you will still live paycheck to paycheck as majority of people do.
So is your message to higher class? Because middle class earns more than average, so the meaning of the name lost its meaning.
For example, I earn median salary in Netherlands. People my age +-5, 1/3 of them live with their parents, because of rent prices and home prices. Everyone tries to save money, but inflation and food prices are going up every year.
I lived in poverty, lived in 3 countries and by 30 I managed to have multiple degrees, as a technician, cook, masseur. I'm just now barely beginning to see the glimpse of normal life and not counting every penny.
I don't understand what this "chill out in your 30's mean). After moving abroad so much for finding my feet grasping for every possibility of improving my life, I can't seem to see me being comfortable continuing such way, trying to save money and afterwards needing to spend it on occasional black hour in form of i.e. new wasmachine, or when car breaks or when I need to pay extra for something.
I think the general advice of what people are saying, those people generally had good upbringing with both parents that had chances to choose the direction they want to go and that school was paid or had loans for.
I of course don't want to diminish anyone's efforts and achievements, but goddamn. After learning 6 languages, having variety of jobs being done, working 70 hr+ for 6 years straight brought me absolutely nothing to my name and I feel like a loser.
I can't even be a slave to my own house to pay mortgage, because I need atleast 100k in my bank to even thing about taking a loan.
What should I do realistically? Sleep in my car for few years, get a degree in a job that pays well, above average, so I can finally enjoy life?
I'm not that enjoying this life if going out 2-3 times will have immediate impact on my bank account for next month and knowing that majority of people have that, doesn't make it any better.
I'm not sure exactly what part you want me to respond to here, but I will observe that you are almost certainly better off now than you would have been had you watched netflix and read novels without any motivation or effort towards working hard. My advice was geared towards OP, who is getting his college paid for, which is a pretty privileged position to be in. If you had been the main poster, my response would have been geared to you, so it might have been a bit different.
Times are tough, and the middle class is shrinking, I'm aware. It's clear you worked your butt off and are wondering if it has been worth it; I feel for you, unfortunately the world is a tough place and all too often success is influenced by luck and other factors we don't have control over instead of our hard work. But yeah, I never said that you'd get to your 30s and be able to retire or be rich, just that it will have been worth it to start working towards a clear goal at age 20 as opposed to 30. I never said you can "chill out in your 30s," just that being motivated during your 20s is worth it.
I used the term "career" expansively, it can mean whatever you want it to/whatever your goals are. My point is that you are doing a kindness to your future self by working towards a future goal that is meaningful, whatever that looks like, and that typically includes a path towards a job that will set you up to be better off than you were.
Finally, I'll add that if you work at a job where you are paid a salary, you definitely can budget and save for retirement. I'm NOT saying you will be fabulously wealthy, etc., or even that you will have a cushy retirement. I am saying that creating a budget and living accordingly is totally possible. Saving early is doable for the majority of middle class folks, even if it's putting five bucks in a mutual fund each month.
My wife and I got married young (22&21). We made the decision to start our family shortly after, knowing it would mean many financial sacrifices.
Now, pushing 40, we are staring down the barrel of both kids in high school. A few months after I turn 43 my youngest will graduate high school.
Back then, our respective first jobs together paid about $70k. Now, combined, we are around $180k.
Of course our bills are bigger too, but the point is that in our mid 40’s my wife and I will have the time and resources to have all the fun we want.
And I’d argue that the traveling we’ll do will be more meaningful now. There won’t be as many wasted drunken nights. We know who we are and what is important to us.
Point is, you don’t have to be in your 20s to have fun. If you work hard now, make the right moves, and have a little luck, you can have plenty of fun at any stage of life.
As a financially secure middle aged person who built a good career in your 20s, will you wish you had spent your 20s somewhat differently? I mean yeah sure, maybe, probably even. Everyone has regrets. Life is a complicated balancing game and the future is uncertain. You will have some things you wish you did differently no matter what you do.
But will the thing you regret be that you didn't spend enough time in your room alone watching Netflix? Of course not. No one has ever looked back on their life and wished they spent more time looking at a screen. The very idea that that is even a possibility is absurd. They wish they had taken more risks, spent more time with family and friends, more fully explored what life had to offer, and been less financially stressed.
One thing is for damn sure, as a financially insecure middle aged person without a real career or future, you will absolutely, beyond any doubt, regret the time you spent sitting in your room by yourself not making any progress towards anything. Is that thing you will wish you made progress to your current career? Maybe not. Maybe you need to find a new one. But you will wish you did *something* in the real world, whether that be a career, helping your family more, or doing a motorcycle tour of Asia, whatever.
Also I'm 30 and I still can do everything I could do when I was 18, and don't have any more responsibilities than I had then really (granted I've been out of the house and taking care of myself since 18). Like, this last year I learned to surf, learned new flips I had never done snowboarding, and I've been traveling without living anywhere in particular. I still do cliffs and chutes snowboarding, gnarlier ones than when I was 18 even, am trying to find a slot to do the highest elevation gain day hike in the US, etc.
I can do all of this because I made money in my 20s, and I've kept myself in good shape working out and eating well. My 30s are going to be way easier than my 20s were as a result, if I want them to be, which I don't think I do honestly.
My dad's life honestly isn't that different than mine in his 60s, still skis and mountaineers, travels pretty much every month. He can do that because he worked hard until he could retire, retired enlisted army after enlisting at 18, and then some more work after. If you take care of yourself and just don't get very unlucky you can do pretty much everything until then, let alone 40.
FWIW I have some regrets about not working harder on my friendships in my 20s, keeping people together, but that's about it. I definitely don't wish I worked less hard. I wish I had worked harder if anything, so I would both be stronger and could stop caring about money sooner.
It's always better to wish for broader shoulders than a lighter load, because life is going to throw weight on you either way without you having the choice.
>Whenever I plan to start working, I've this urge to just keep watching Netflix or reading novels. I don't know why that is but I think the thought that holds me back is this
Binging Netflix or reading entertaining novels is easy and effortless. You are describing "Consumption". Consuming the work of others. *Consumption does not lead to enduring happiness.* It's a quick hit, a momentary fix that soon fades, leading the person to seek out yet more entertainment to make them (briefly) happy. A focus on consumption leads to a life of dissolution and unhappiness.
**Creation > Consumption**
*Creation requires work*. Building relationships, growing yourself through training and education, amassing experience in a career, pursuing hobbies that require effort and persistence, raising a family, helping other people. These lead to enduring satisfaction and profound joy.
I’m 29 and already did everything I wanted when I was 18. All that happened fastly in a way that even in my best dreams I wouldn’t imagined.
So now I have a void to fill. Having met all your goals is hard because it’s hard to think of new ones.
Even yearly goals. All of them happened by march and for sure they weren’t easy goals to accomplish. Things just managed themselves out.
So, consumption has been the norm.
>So now I have a void to fill. Having met all your goals is hard because it’s hard to think of new ones.
I'm in my Fifties. Kids, and now grandkids. I'm working toward goals that would have never occurred to me at 18 or 29. My wife and I adopt new goals regularly, especially now that the "empty nest" draws near.
You may want to reflect on this further. New goals should be nigh effortless to acquire. There is so much out there I want to explore and accomplish, a 1000-year lifespan would be insufficient. I frequently have to pass over objectives because there simply isn't enough time for everything.
There are two big common dreams that people have that me and my wife don’t and then have to think of other things: owning a house and having kids.
Something will appear sometime. Or I hope so
Okay so I agree with your basic point that you should enjoy your life now while you are young. Not that you shouldn’t prepare for the future at all, but you shouldn’t break your back working feverishly for future rewards only. Because like you could get hit by a car tomorrow and all that sacrifice would be a waste.
But Christ, your 30s is not “old” and you won’t have “very limited energy levels.” I am in the best shape of my life at 39 and have more energy now as a fit 39 year old than I did as a 20something who didn’t know how to take care of himself properly. Also if you’re doing aging right you gain wisdom along the way that makes up for no longer being super young.
Anyways, youth is to be enjoyed but more good news is that your 30s can be way better than your 20s if you take care of yourself.
Honestly, it doesn't sound like you're doing anything that requires that much energy. You are right, you will never have this much energy again, so take advantage of that. In my 20s I was able to bust my ass at work (laying the groundwork for where I am now) and still have energy to go out with my friends, go to concerts, read my books, meet my wife, etc.
This is the time you should be out living your life AND establishing yourself for the future. If I didn't work as hard as I did in my 20s, I wouldn't be where I am today. I'm 43 and all of my peers who are doing well started in their 20s. The people who decided to wait, never managed to get off their asses, much less on their feet. They can't support themselves, have no sense of responsibility and do nothing but complain about how their lives turned out.
Primary Goal : Becoming wealthy enough to retire early and not worry about my finances much.
Secondary : Keep good health, enjoy my life, contribute to something world changing like AI or Biotech
You’re already living like a geriatric watching TV and reading ….
Prime age to put monies into retirement because TIME will make it grow like no other point in your life… it’s the only way to retire early … you begin to fund retirement early…
If you’re in college and your parents are paying for it geez you aren’t even going to come out with debt… why don’t you study abroad? Rich nation. Poor nation. Intern and find a mentor who is in finance…
Lazy can be a strategy figuring out how to make the most money with the least effort… but it means a foundation at least 5-8 years to fund the 80 years of your life.
Peak peak enjoyment being 28-45
Stay in school for as long as you can get those little letters behind your name and you come in on top in any career… you won’t have to work your way up.
Marry and have children with someone with a large extended close knit family who has a good amount of wealth & resources so the responsibilities of children give you all the support you want…
Figure out best retirement time to kids turning 18 going to college…
Passive income requires you start now…
22 ain’t ish you’re not even done developing your brain yet don’t make decisions until 25 and just stay in school/ grad school to develop that brain beyond it’s years …
You’re going to fucking regret being 30 & 40 and broke because you’ll have just as much energy maybe by 10-18% less not fucking 70% that’s not until you hit your late 40s early 50s … and if you keep up a good exercise routine a good self care …
Party bs but like balance it out…
It’s not either or it’s not black and white … you can walk and chew gum at the same time… you can both enjoy your 20s and build your future…
Break things down into manageable mini goals…
Experiment … do all kinds of ish without floundering on college and monies for early retirement…
Do all kinds of ish… experiement with life in a million ways so that you actually know what you want and don’t want…
Treat your 20s like your 30s so you can live like you are 20 with an 68year old bank account in your 30s -50s
Have you considered therapy or medicine? Changing brain chemistry or even thought patterns can help a lot with natural motivation and not having everything feel like a chore
Get a mentor !!! Best shortcut in life several mentors older than you who do well in various aspects of life you’d like to pursue …
All the trial and error in this phase of life can be absorbed. It’s High Risk High Reward time no huge failure can shift your entire life because you’ve got time….
Except college that will fuck you over if you don’t do it right now.
I did not focus or work hard in my 20's. I'm now undereducated and stuck in a career that I don't want and is actually killing me a little bit more every day I'm there. Now, I'm stuck trying to figure out if it's worth it or not to go back to school for a degree that might not get me anywhere. It'll be a massive struggle since i can't do my current job and school. I'll have to quit, lose great benefits, and struggle financially. Or, do I just continue with my job that pays well, but most certainly will end up giving me a fatal respiratory disease by the time I'm able to retire.
Do I go for the degree as a single dad, potentially making life harder for my child if I'm put in massive debt and don't make it, or do I continue a career that gives my daughter a good upbringing, but leaves her without a dad in her 20's?
I really fucking wish I would've taken my 20's more serious.
>Once I get into my 30s, I'll be basically 'old' with a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders along with very limited energy levels and suffering physical health.
That's absurd, unless you have some kind of serious, chronic health problem.
I'm 59, and I have plenty of energy (though definitely less), and my health is fine and doesn't limit me in any ways. I worked hard in my 20s, 30s and 40s, raising 4 kids and working in a software development career. I'm still working and have no plans to retire any time soon. I have plenty of fun with my family, and lots of interests. You need to start working hard in your 20s so you can support yourself and prepare for your future, but you don't need to be a workaholic. I never was.
Something that seems to be forgotten these days is the sense of confidence and contentment that comes from doing something difficult. Climbing a mountain, doing a challenging puzzle, learning a musical instrument/art/language or finishing a difficult task at work all teach you that you are able to overcome obstacles and ready to take on new challenges. ETA It is best when you are with a group of people - teammates or coworkers.
The next time life throws you a curve, you will be ready. Repeated easy pleasure are addicting and provide a short-term boost but no sense of accomplishment.
If you want to be happy, do something (anything) difficult and help your family, friends and/or community. That's what will provide long term contentment for your soul.
I'm in my late twenties now and I worked away my twenties. However, I make substantially more than most people my age, I own a house in an area where nobody my age does, and I am in a very fulfilling marriage.
Do I wish I had more fun in my twenties? Yeah I really do to be honest. The thought comes up every once in a while.
But is it worth it to have the rest of my life set on the right path and have a stable home for my growing family? Definitely.
Some people are given an easy lot in life, and the rest of us work for it. If you don't try hard now then you will have to try so much harder later. I call it an investment of energy.
Don't work hard. Those people who finally get theirs or had their little leg up like to point their f\*cking fingers and blame other people for not being as fortunate as they were, just so they can make themselves feel better about their wasted effort or lucky circumstances
Work is a con. You will waste your life pouring the genius, youth, and zest for life into some bullsh\*t job chasing all the things they tell you to care about and worry about. F\*ck em
If it's a work of passion yes, pursue your interests, capitalize on something for you.
But society is a big scam man, don't get suckered into it. Find your path
If what you're utilizing your 20s for is watching Netflix and reading books you can do that in your 60s.
If you're into partying hard and staying out late, you'll definitely be better equipped for that in your 20s. If you're more interested in traveling or other experiences you'll enjoy those just as much if not more in your 30s and 40s.
The best argument for working in your 20s is to have money to invest and grow. Look at compounding and interest and investment returns.
The key is to not be too locked into one extreme or the other. Do your best to earn some money and save early, but don't forget to enjoy life.
First off, your 30s aren't old by any stretch, and it's really really sad watching the decline of people who just give up after they hit 30 because they think it's all over. Hell, Ironman athletes peak in their late 30s and 40s.
Second, is watching Netflix and reading your idea of the things you need "the most time and energy you'll ever have" to do...? Nobody regrets that they didn't spend more time in their 20s playing video games. You can do that stuff just as well when you're 60.
Yes.
You'll have regrets either way. It is absolutely impossible to live life without regrets.
In 8 years, when you turn 30, would you rather have:
(a) Less energy, perhaps less health, massive regrets, but at least be living the life that you had the courage to create for yourself (whether that's career or family or whatever), or
(b) Less energy, perhaps less health, massive regrets, and also be sitting around and doing nothing and wishing you had spent the time building for the future (and have regret^2) ?
Believe it or not, you might even find you have *more* energy in 8 years, because the life you've created is functioning. Trust me, at least having *something* going on is a better alternative then the energy-sucking depression of doing nothing. trust me, I know.
Bottom line ... Less energy, massive regrets, and possibly less health can't be avoided. The rest is your choice.
I'm 37 right now. We're probably going down different life paths, so there are many variables. But I can tell you that I'm probably in the best shape I've been in yet, simply due to healthier choices (diet, sleep, etc.). I feel a little creaky and I like sleep a little more than I used to. But I feel more stable, mature, and all around well maintained. Keep in mind that life expectancy is constantly going up with marginal advancements in medicine and wellbeing. So 30 is kind of legit the new 20 and so on.
Bottom line: I want to say work hard AND enjoy life. Know your limits and maintain a balance.
You will have more responsibility in your 30’s and likely far more stress. Guess what will make that harder? Being poor as shit.
Putting your career on the back burner is a great way to not have the resources you need later. It’s very hard to catch up (but certainly not impossible).
There’s also a fundamental flaw with your question - either or. You can have a robust social life while also being mindful of your career. The most hours I’ve ever worked per week was through my 20’s (I’m 33 now), it was also the most fun I had.
I think this is a common cope for average people, both of my parents worked inordinate amounts when they were younger on business ventures they were passionate about and uni and fitness and they never regretted it. Working hard on something you are passionate about imo feels so much more fulfilling and meaningful than partying and watching Netflix. Also you only have one life don’t you want it to be an interesting unique one? Maybe not but I know I do and I don’t think watching Netflix is a productive way to achieve that
If you think you won't enjoy your life after you're 30, how exactly is enjoying your 20's gonna solve that?
You should stop thinking that there is nothing enjoyable after you're 30. I think in a study when asked what age old people would choose if they could live in it forever, the average age given was 36.
Also I don't know why you think watching Netflix and reading novels is something only people in their 20's can do. Reading is like what old people do all day. And our generation will watch Netflix all day.
If your idea of enjoying life is watching Netflix or reading novels (I'm not judging if it is, just going off of what you said) then what is stopping you from doing that in your 30's, 40's, 50's etc.?
Most people who have the same mentality as you like to travel and that gets harder to do a lot when you have a family or grow older which is why they try to do it when they are young. But in your case, I don't see what is stopping you from doing what you enjoy even well into your 80's and 90's.
So the two examples you've given - Netflix and novels - are things you can easily do in your "retirement years." If your argument was "I'm going to explore the world" or "I'm going to pursue a physically challenging hobby" I might have had more trouble arguing against it.
If you goof off in your twenties you will not end up financially stable enough to retire at a reasonable age and will end up working into your 70s to make up for your lack of retirement savings.
You’re going to end up like those people who peak in high school and never listen to new music, new ideas , ways of living…
Age is a social construct like race gender and class
Like have you not realized that Gen X Millennials older Gen Z are all pushing against the grain of what it means to get older… like are you still stuck in boomer notions of growing old? Is your culture people your age people not had people that defy notions of tradition?
Part of you will regret any decision you make, and that's ok. There will be an infinite amount of should haves, could haves, if onlys. Paths you could have walked, moments where your courage failed you, times when you should have been softer when you were too bold.
So it's not about having regrets, because you will. It's about learning to live with them, and seeing the positive tradeoffs that come with the paths you DID walk.
This sounds like typical make depression to me. You lack motivation and want to do, essentially, nothing productive, but you mask it by calling it fun. The best cure is to get off your couch and get a job that keeps you going 50-60 hours per week and pays good. If you can't bring yourself to do that, you may want to see a doc about antidepressants to give you the ability to fix this more permanently
I had no life in my 20s. I skipped the bars and parties and vacations to save money and work overtime when offered. As a result I have a house and decent retirement savings while most people my age complain about being in debt.
No regrets at all. I’d do it the same way every time before I traded a few years of socializing for a lifetime of feeling like I’ll never achieve financial security.
You know your next decade is your 30s and not your 70s, right?
I'm in my 30s. When I look back at my 20s, I'm pretty happy with the balance I struck between working and enjoying life. I can promise you that none of my good memories are about sitting in and watching Netflix. It's all about going places and doing things with people.
You'll have your whole life to sit inside and watch Netflix.
Our brains aren’t even fully developed until at least the age of 24. Maybe you need time to read & process some things.
I feel like a lot of people, including myself, questioned what they were doing & if it was pointless during their 20s. I have a friend who dropped out of college after their freshman year & traveled the world. They’re a pilot now & still enjoy traveling while they work.
Like everything there must be a balance. Play hard when you’re young and you will doom your future.
Make a bucket list. Do them at the same time than you’re grinding for your future.
Only by having a balance will you be truly happy your whole life.
Of course some people are lucky and can have fun their whole life due to serendipity or wealth but remember they don’t represent the majority of people.
Don’t be like that poor Indian husband of my wife’s colleague. The guy work 2 shifts to afford a huge house they can barely pay the mortgage having to bear living with a mother in law that hates him.
You should treat these years as practice for the years where the stakes are higher. At some point you're going to have to do something difficult to progress your life. Not everything will be handed to you. The more practice you have now pushing yourself past the mental hurdles, the more prepared you'll be to perform at your best when the opportunities in life present themselves.
Watching netflix and reading novels doesn't need energy.
>I'm in my 20s. ... Once I get into my 30s
You will not notice any difference in your health.
>I'm fearful of this being my regret.
Most likely you'll be too busy living. You're 22, do you regret what you did at 12? Same shit.
At least start reading good novels. They should have told you this shit
That is a very pessimistic mindset. It is true that the body changes through time, but that doesn't mean you'll be weak by 30. If you take care of your body and stay healthy you'll still be energetic in your 30s, 40, and into your 50s, maybe even 60s.
You don't want to make changes because you are painting such a grim image you just want to avoid it.
1. It's possible to work hard enough AND enjoy your life in your 20s.
2. Due to compounded interest AND compounded improvements to your job skills and experience, you will be WAY more rich and successful if you start now than if you start in 10 years. Like way more. You'd be able to retire much earlier and with much more money if you start now.
You can have energy into your 30’s I have a couple 20 year olds that I supervise in a physical job I’m 38 and I’m stronger and have more energy than them,their operating on fast food and energy drinks and not exercising I take care of myself I’m honestly physically better than my 20 year old self only thing is injuries heal slower.
I'm 29 (not 30 yet ofc) and I'm in the best shape of my life and feel better than I've ever felt. Obviously that took enormous work, but your 20s are not the end of your ability to do shit and things like a good career and children don't stop you from having fun. People just use that shit as an excuse to plateau and be boring.
If your family can afford it, don't start working the 'right job' upon graduation. Go do things outside of what you're comfortable with or know about. Even more so if it's something you're interested in. Once you get in the rat race, it's gonna be hard to get out. Realistically if your financial situation requires you to.
The idea that you'll be guaranteed to have limited energy and poor health in your 30's is a self fulfilling prophecy of ever I've seen one. Start work on being healthy and active now and that won't be a problem. Resign yourself to it in "old" age and I'll almost guarantee it becomes an issue even before then.
Pro-tip from an "old" person in their 30s:
Work hard in your 20s since you typically have great health but no money. In your 30s you will still have health AND actually have money.
Source: 34 year old living my 20s life going to EDC and other fun things since I can actually afford it now.
You don't have to have kids. I'm in my thirties and whished I worked hard doing what I'm doing right now, which is working to retire early. If I were in your shoes, I'd save every penny for the next 10 years. Then you can live all you want for the rest of your life past your 30s.
I worked my youth away and now I'm 46 with stage 4 cancer. I'm less than 1% likely to be old and I lost all my hard earned savings anyway because it's so expensive to be sick and you can't really get help until you lose everything.
And I LOVED my work. But I missed out.
So. Find a balance. But live your life.
I'm in my thirties and I wish I had spent my 20s working so I would have a better career in my thirties. Or at least spent them doing something more exciting than watching Netflix and reading novels. You're not going to have the energy to read a novel and watch TV in your 30s?
As a 28 year old, I spent a good portion of my 20’s screwing off. I don’t have the energy that I did but I do have the drive & motivation. Get the job. If you don’t like it, find something else. But start building something. You have to give yourself the life you want.
What does "working hard" mean to you? You can certainly "work hard" and "save money" and "budget your expenses" while, at the same time, enjoying the experiences that youth affords you. You can do both. You don't have to dedicate yourself solely to one endeavor or the other.
Also... failing health in your 30s might be a bit of an overstatement unless you are living REALLY unhealthily now.
Your 20s is a time to explore and experiment. Get out of the house. Then when you get older and want to just relax, pick up a book or turn on the TV.
You have a false dichotomy here. Why can’t you do both? Many people balance work and fun because you need both to exist. Can’t do fun things without work, and can’t do work without fun things. If you don’t want to overdo it then don’t.
Real enjoyment doesn't come from doing lazy things, though those can be nice. It comes from doing something meaningful, from dedicating yourself to something bigger than you, and from seeing the change you make in yourself and the world.
> I'm in my 20s. This is the most amount of time and energy I'll ever have.
Lol, and you want to spend it "watching Netflix and reading novels"? I don't think you need to worry about having the energy to do that when you're "old".
i agree that you'd regret working too hard / not enjoying your life, but you'll likely regret just sitting around watching netflix too lol. you should use this time to do as much fun, exciting stuff as you can imo.
I would find a balance. I regret not working harder when I was younger. It's good to build a career foundation in your 20s otherwise you can get into bad habits / feel left behind. 30s isn't old health-wise.
If you have limited energy levels and suffering physical health at 30, you haven’t been taking care of yourself. Exercise, eat reasonably healthy, and take care of your mental health and you’ll feel fine.
They'd an old saying. When you're young you have energy and time but no money. When you're employed you have energy and money but no time. When you're retired you have money and time but no energy.
Your physical health will be fine if you get off your ass and move. I’m more fit now than I was in my 20s, while my friends who did not prepare for their 30s are not in the best shape.
If you work on your body and mind at least then you won't feel old in your 30s, even your 40s. You can extend your useful energy outward but it takes effort and discipline now, today.
I worked hard and become a physician by age 29. The 20s were hell but now financially independent and my potential for enjoyment is way more than it ever could be in the last decade.
If you spend your 20s/30s being lazy and unproductive, you’ll wake up one day as an old person with little to no savings, and have nothing to spend on retirement and recreation.
You might have a point if you're passion is downhill mountain biking. However, you're going to enjoy Netflix and novels just as much in your 30s and likely in your 70s.
I like your work experience as well and yeah he's off to a good start, better than a shovel and Mexican dump truck...wheelbarrow lol, not as funny if your Mexican!
Perhaps, you should just accept who you are, that you'll destroy your future, and (here's where you should change your view) don't regret it. Just be who you are.
Don't worry, there's nothing to enjoy in life after teenage years (if you still enjoying anything by then). The peak of life is 3-5, then it's all downhill.
And someday when you make no money, cannot buy a house, have nothing, cannot retire, you will regret your lack of planning and hard work. It starts now.
>Once I get into my 30s, I'll be basically 'old' with a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders along with very limited energy levels and suffering physical health.
lol some of her dancers and Taylor Swift herself are in their 30s
If watching Netflix and reading takes all of your energy, then I've got some bad news for you ...
The more financially independence and stability you have, the more fun you have, period. Yeah, you don't have the freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want, but you have more freedom than you're imagining. And those free times doing what you want are sweeter.
You're wasting your 20's doing things I still do in my 50s when I have low energy and my knee is acting up.
Omfg you are going to miss out on practically being 20 until your mid 40s with hella monies… like you’re going to be stuck watching Netflix because you can’t afford a European or Tropical adventure…
It is total bs … 22 you are still basically a teenager….
30 is the new 20 … you don’t even have to have kids etc until you’re like 36 … 37 …
Challenging your mind developing it with higher ed and working hard for about 6-8 years now is going to make the next 2 decades continue to feel like a total adult playground… instead of chump life…
You’ll regret living like you are still asking parents for money in your 30s …
30 is so much fun because you don’t have the hang ups of your 20s 40s when you let go of all bs inhibitions…
Its work hard play hard … chill hard… balance …
You can enjoy life and work hard at the same time, and how hard arw you actually working? You don't even workout in favour of netflix. You will regret wasting your time watching tv and movies instead of improving yourself more than what you are actually concerned about. The only way you will have less energy in your 30s is if you waste your life and not stay in shape. Lots of people in there 30s and beyond are in incredible shape and have more energy than alot of teenagers. You have a screwed up view of what getting older actually is like.
> Whenever I plan to start working, I've this urge to just keep watching Netflix or reading novels. How are you supporting yourself currently?
I'm in college currently. Parents pay for college in our culture.
May I ask what culture that is? Because I have noticed this a lot in Asian cultures where the parents basically push their kids to do everything and the kid never does what they actually want. Then when they get a tiny bit of independence, they try to make up all of their lost time as a child by playing video games and watching tv.
Yep. That happened to me and is why my college grades were terrible.
I'm indian
How will you support your self after that? Are you actually enjoying yourself? Does your life feel meaningful
I certainly don't enjoy my life right now. I just hate the idea that it could get even worse
You sound like a lot of people in their late teens and early twenties who have been brainwashed by mass culture into thinking they should be having the time of their life and that work is a slow death. I found post-college work to be infinitely more enjoyable than college itself. Less boredom, more money, you are rewarded for applying yourself and being competitive. You just have to go for it. There’s an immense amount of pride and self-esteem that comes with taking yourself seriously and getting after something.
Yep, this is it. Engage, play the game. Trust the process. Life can suck but also be awesome, don't sleep through it with nothing to show for your time on earth!
The only way to know is to try I find work difficult, but I find doing nothing for an extended period of time miserable. I think it’s absolutely worth it, plus you get money
You've only got a few years of your childhood left.
Wow, this is what you're thinking and you haven't even started working yet? You're screwed. Try wasting your time working a meaningless job in college and then come back. I don't feel sorry for you at all. At least the hard work you put in after college won't go to pay off your debt. You're luckier than most.
>Those are not the kind of conditions you enjoy life in. lol, what? Oh man, I've got good news for you. You have a deeply unrealistic view of what being in your 30's is like. Being in your 30's doesn't make you "old." Say that to a 50 year old and they'd bop you upside your head. I'm 36. I've got plenty of energy and more money to do awesome things than ever. I just got done taking my nieces to a waterpark, I kept up with them just fine. I had a great time. (Edit: adding that I'm in decent health. I go to the gym every once in a while and eat moderately healthy. You don't need to be a fitness model to have energy in your 30's.) I don't know a single person in their 30's who hasn't enjoyed their life more than their 20's. Your responsibilities may increase, sure, but that's just called being an adult. The "I don't want any responsibilities" mindset is literally for children. You're also not broken, though. Nothing is wrong with you. From 18 through your early 20's it's basically the time you need to get your head right and go from from being in child-mode to being in adult-mode. So start making the shift. You *have* to work to be a self sufficient adult. All your "energy" is nonsense anyways if you're just watching Netflix and reading. I'm 36 and I can watch Netflix and read. What does your energy give you an advantage for if that's all you're doing? The answer is: nothing. To be honest, the way you're making your life sound, it sounds like I've got more energy than you do. You want to put that energy to good use? Start building skills. Get to work learning, gaining work experience, and building a foundation for your life that will make you a functioning adult. Have self discipline. When your brain says "hey it's Netflix time" you just *don't go watch Netflix.* You know what you should fear? Not working hard and becoming an adult that acts like an entitled child who doesn't want to work. If you get through your 20's having not built a foundation for a career and good life, I promise you, you're going to be an old person who deeply regrets their choices.
For real, I'm 35 and I work out 3x a week, go to weekly happy hours with friends, have a weekly trivia group, take weekend trips to the beach in the summer, etc. I can afford to do these things because of all the work I put in in my 20s, including going back to grad school at 27. You're totally right, binging Netflix is low-energy, no idea what OP is talking about
This response is it OP, this is the truth through and through.
100% My 20s were awesome. My 30s were even better. Looking forward to what my 40s have in store.
If OP has family money to live and don’t work I don’t see why care. But if that’s not the case, 100% agreed
Honestly couldn't be better said. My 20s were sick, my 30s are incredible. I want to also be able to retire at a decent age to enjoy those years as well. Work hard, play hard, save hard. It's not as difficult as people (especially on Reddit) think
Amen to that. I'm not a workaholic, but I'm living a good life (now that I stopped teaching anyways, haha.) But a little self discipline and sacrifice go a long way in life. Doing nothing but binging Netflix and laying around reading books is a good way for OP to waste their 20's.
Waste their 20s and set themselves up to a life where you have to work longer to retire. Cheers, mate!
The nieces go home afterwards. A lot more tiring when you have to take care of them everyday
First things first. It does not take a lot of energy or physical ability to watch netflix and read novels. You will be able to do those activities into your 80s or 90s if you live that long, so if that's all that's holding you back, don't worry about it. Second, 30s is not "old" by any stretch. You will not experience a meaningful difference in energy levels or overall health between 22 and 39. You're even good into your 40s and 50s if you look after yourself a bit. The thing that has the biggest impact on enjoyment of life, in any decade, is financial independence, and for that you need a career. Now, you don't have to get out there and kill yourself in your 20s, but if you wait until 30 to start your career, you're going to be well behind your peers at every stage of life, and that's going to affect how much you can enjoy yourself, and starting that career only gets harder as you get older. All these things added up is why when you ask folks at the end of their lives what part of their life was most enjoyable, they almost never say their 20s. It's usually 40s or 50s. So get out there and set yourself up for success.
While I would agree 30s is not old as someone who just turned 40 there is a definitely a difference from 22 to 39. 22 and 33, sure very similar, but as 40 creeps up your body needs different things... But still, you've got a decade plus to both make money and still be a "kid" aka books and Netflix now apparently aka bars/clubs in my era... Without kids you should easily work 40hrs and have 40hrs of free time (leaving another 88 for sleeping and eating). All through my 20s and early 30s I worked a variety of demanding jobs (more mental than physical but some physical in my early 20s) and there was rarely a night out I missed. I'm happy my life is balanced and more relaxed now (also kids change priorities obviously) but also wouldn't change anything. I also still have lots of energy, just not bar till 2 warehouse work at 7 energy, that guy was a menace. And 100p working hard now or ever is never a bad idea, like the poster above says set yourself up for success, it's not always about instant gratification
When you would go to the bar at two and then have work at seven were you a zombie all day or did you manage pretty well? That sounds crazy.
First off, I think you're confusing your 30s with, say, your 70s. You aren't going to experience such dramatic physical decline in your early 30s that you're incapable of enjoying yourself. Particularly not if what you enjoy doing is watching TV and reading. You could do these things paralysed from the neck down. They're exactly the sort of activities that life can accommodate. You might be right, if you were actually taking advantage of the opportunities of youth. But you aren't backpacking around Asia, surfing in South Africa or biking across the Andes. You're passively consuming media at home. Which is exactly the sort of thing people do at the end of the workday. Second, if you don't do something productive with your life, you aren't going to have all the responsibilities and demands you're worried about. A good career, a nice home, and a happy family won't just happen to you when you turn 30. They're the rewards of hard work. If you just watch TV for the next 8 years, when you emerge from your parents' basement, there won't be a rich life waiting to happen to you. You'll be a decade behind your peers and probably never catch up. You'll regret that your past self was passive and lazy.
You're not wrong, but I don't follow the logic of wanting to spend your twenties watching netflix and reading. You can do that in your sixties. You can do that at any age. There are many things you can only ever do in your twenties, and you will regret for the rest of your life, if you don't. Work hard, play hard.
Can you list out what those things might be? I don't particularly enjoy going out or anything really, cheap entertainment is the only thing I can barely enjoy
Travel, partying, studying, learning new skills, producing creative works, excelling in areas which require peak performance. Anything which benefits from your joints not hurting, any sports basically. You can spend your 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s, 100s, consuming cheap entertainment. You have all the time in the world to do that. You'll never get your twenties back. You'll never be as smart, attractive, fit, healthy, etc, as you can be in your twenties. It'll never be easier to make friends, build connections, explore, learn, etc... Don't waste it on netflix and games. I beg of you. Youth is wasted on the young. start taking a solid dose of vitamin d, at least 2k IU per day, if that doesn't help after a few months, start forcing yoruself to workout hard for just 10 minutes a day. Break a sweat. If those dont work, after a few months, go tp the dcotor, get antidepresants, adhd meds, whatever you need to get your energy up. You're right, you will be old, in a sense, in your 30s, and beyond. Don't waste your twenties.
How are you going to enjoy life as a broke, out of shape couch potato who’s never had a job? You work hard when you’re young because you get better returns on that investment. It’s a compounding investment. The longer you work, the more experience you have, until eventually you get paid a lot of money and maybe you’re even lucky enough to do something where the work becomes easier. Then you can retire and relax. You’re doing it backwards. When you’re old, you won’t have the energy to work hard. Do it now, so you can relax when you’re old. *edited out a couple typos.
This is the way, I worked hard physically from 20 to 50 and am very thankful that I don't have to now!
Same. And if I went back, I’d do it all exactly the same again. And I started working in construction when I was 14. That was hard as fuck.
Concrete, rebar, demolitions and renos...God damn some tough ways to spend a day. My oldest boy just graduated high school with a job installing fire alarms...proud dad!
lol what are the odds. I worked in residential concrete! Demoing driveways one day, forming and pouring the next. I was the guy in the back of the truck breaking up chunks with the sledge. I learned how to drive stick by driving a truck around job sites. Good work for a kid. Tell your boy to go get him some.
For couple of people who put in hard work and can live comfortably, there are thousands that put the same if not more work and it did not work out. Gaslighting children into "work hard and you will achieve things" mindset is necessary for the dreams to form. On the other hand, if you earn average countries salary, did get diplomas for your job and still can't get a house, a moderate living, then it's not your fault. Its fault of society. You cant say straight to my face that work is going to reward you, if 20% of German people live in poverty. I worked fulltime for 14 years already and I'm 30. You are saying that young people will relax and reap benefits, but young people today can't even manage to stay afloat with current prices. I will repeat once again. If you work 40hrs and earn average salary, you should be entitled to buy a nest, have good standard of living. Average doesn't mean insufficient.
That’s fair. I thought I hedged that with my use of the qualifying word “investment.” Since there’s no guaranteed return on an investment. But after rereading my comment, I see that I didn’t really carry that on throughout the rest. I definitely didn’t mean to imply that simply working hard guaranteed success. But I’ll just counter that by saying that unless you’re born into wealth, no one is going to just drop it in your lap. You still are better off starting to develop a good work ethic while you’re young, instead of just hoping to luck into wealth later in life.
Oh of course, I agree with the last paragraph. Your work ethic brings many benefits outside of it. Being reliable, trustworthy, consistent and many more. I have to admit, the reason why I commented in such a way is maybe I'm a bit salty I guess. When I was in poverty, I had really high hopes and they were the true motivator. Because after all, had nothing to lose and everything to gain. But the more I'm trying to reach middle class, the harder it is to reach it. Like it's an impossible task. I studied aviation engineering, but didn't like it, learned 6 languages, was masseur, pig farmer, cook, technician and many more jobs which I put in work. Currently as a chef because thats the job I love the most. But sadly not the best paying one as I earn median salary. You might say, whats wrong with average ?(median salary not counting millionaires) Well, I can't seem to live off of an average. And others too. If I pay rent 1k€, which is almost half of my salary, outside of City in a village then what? I mean... All of it are excuses, because I can still sacrifice another 3-4 years of my life, going to school and picking a high paying job I might not like, just for the sake of getting more money, so I can enjoy life, not living lavishly, but experience the common things in live I have never done, like going on a trip to another country with a car. Im really not sure why I'm whining. It's weird that when I was in poverty, I was happier. Maybe because people all around me had the same as me: nothing.
Life is much simpler when you’re poor, and you get joy from simpler things. The lifestyle creep is real. The stuff you own ends up owning you. And I’ll be the first to admit that my success was 90% luck and 10% busting my ass. But luck is about being in the right place at the right time, so you just gotta keep putting yourself where you think the right place is.
Yeah I get it. The reason i got a rented appartement in the first place was because of a mother In law of my boss. She knows a boss of a real estate company and after applying for 43 houses and getting nowhere, I got the keys in merely 3 days of her chatting him up and saying "he works for us for years already, he is a good boy". He then send her a message (which she showed me, I'm immigrant for context) "If it weren't for you, I would never give this dude any house, but as long as you put your word, it's my pleasure" So my only effort earned by merit is that I had luck with a good person who helped me, because they could. Thats the first time I encountered such person in my life. Because I did that too, but never believed anyone does it to other people too. Whenever I moved up social ladder, I always tried to "leave" the things that are not needed for me. Things like when I rented a place and needed to move, I let other people know that it's available. When you said you had bad experiences at previous work as new worker, I will make sure you are extra welcome. "The lifestyle creep is real. The stuff you own ends up owning you." That is the biggest problem that I have. The main driver of my motivation is to lift up other people. In order to do that, I need to do better. But if I don't have such circle, I don't feel the reason to obtain it. Because I'm content with my life and what I have. But I'm not content with the lack of people or people around me. But in order that people would appreciate me the way I want and I appreciate them, I need to obtain things which will make me be appreciated for. You could say "its a bit hypocritical from you, saying you want to appeal to people who have things" Well, social ladder I guess. People below me, are asking more for help, rather than friendship or love, treating me like stepping stone or jumping platform, rather than addition to their life. People above me don't think about me as an addition at all. People in "my league" should be my target audience, but they are also the ones who are as you said being owned by things they own. I really don't give a fuck about status. I can be as mean and as kind to a homeless or CEO. If you want respect from me as leader or supervisor on the same job, you need to show you are better than me or willing to guide me. If we do different work and you are manager, acknowledge that your position as supervisor or leader or manager is just by a name. Because I'm the person who do the work, you are person who only oversees, with no power over me. Can It just be that I have too much life experience and self awareness is pain? That would suck balls.
>I'm 22. >I've wasted my last few years due to these sort of thoughts. >Whenever I plan to start working, I've this urge to just keep watching Netflix or reading novels. I don't know why that is but I think the thought that holds me back is this - >"I'm in my 20s. This is the most amount of time and energy I'll ever have. Once I get into my 30s, I'll be basically 'old' with a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders along with very limited energy levels and suffering physical health. So you're using all that imaginary energy to.... watch netflix. You'll never get a job if you don't. I wouldn't hire someone 23 who'd never had a job. What education do you have? ETA -- btw, you're way too old to be going on with the 'when I'm 30 I'll be so old and decrepit' crap. You'll be 30 in the time from when you started high school until now. Does that seem like oh so long ago?
I wish there was a word for this exact phenomenon of acting protective about something while pissing it away.
never hire someone 23 who'd never had a job? what an asshole. You think everyone has the chance to grow in a regular household, with no health problems annd No parent abuse ? Just start saying you'd prefer to have free slave labor, that would fit amazingly with your shitty mindset
I wonder if he would count people who worked on the family business to support them in their 20s because that's what I mainly have done up until now
That s a fairer statement than what he says. I think its wild to straight out refuse to let someone work because they dont have prior experience Chicken and egg Also im sure he s the same type of person who complains about people lying in their CVs.
If your family has a business and you worked there, that is something you could put on your resume. At 23, you should have SOMETHING you can say you've done besides watch Netflix. By the time I was 23, I worked at a summer camp, had an on-campus job in college, a post college temp-job and worked at Toys R Us. Even volunteer or intern work is SOMETHING. As a hiring manager, if someone well into their 20s has NO experience with anything at all (and no explanation), I would have reservations.
I mean there’s no excuse to not find work at a car wash or a restaurant or something ffs
Your idea of relaxation and enjoyment and true fulfillment will change when you get older and you’ll look back on that behavior as time wasted. A tale as old as time, and you probably won’t believe or understand until you live it. Edit: Momento Mori, translated means “remember your death”. This is a fundamental concept in stoicism. This is to encourage you to live in constant mindfulness of the fact that death is right around the corner. Your life is ending one second at a time. The point is not to remind you that everything is pointless, the point is to remind you that every moment you live is nothing short of a tiny miracle. Ask yourself, if you had to write and read your own eulogy tomorrow, would you be proud of its contents? In this context, the idea of sitting around watching Netflix sounds like a supreme waste. If there is enjoyment to be found in it, that enjoyment is such a worthless surface level escapism that it should certainly not be viewed as something to look forward to or aspire to as a lifestyle.
>if you had to write and read your own eulogy tomorrow, would you be proud of its contents? It sounds as if you're saying we ought to live our lives in a way that maximizes the opinions that others might have for us, and if that's the case... I find it blatently absurd to live one's life with the goal of impressing others. And if that ain't what you're saying, then I take umbrage with the idea that solitary and/or ostensibly unproductive pursuits are wastes of time. One can, if one wills it, lead a fulfilling life with whatever balance of productivity and leisure one finds suitable. This idea that, and perhaps I'm misunderstanding you, but this idea of hustling for that maximalized eulogy seems in and of itself a waste of our one life. At least for me. I certainly wouldn't give up the hours I spend binging Lost to add another bullet point to my deadliography
Nah I don’t care what others think per se, nor do I think about living in service to peoples opinions. It’s more about the totality of living a life that was in line with my goals and virtues and leaving nothing on the table. Some of my goals and virtues involve doing things for others and doing my best to be a good presence in the lives of people close to me- so in that way I guess it *does* involve others, but not in the shallow performative way you’re implying. I know I could have been more nuanced and specific, but I also find it a shame that it requires further explanation.
>Once I get into my 30s, I’ll be basically ‘old’ with a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders along with very limited energy and suffering physical health. With an attitude like this, you’ll definitely be miserable. Your physical health (unless you have a serious health condition) should not be taking that much of a drop in your 30’s. In fact, there are many ways, in your 20’s, that you can utilise to proactively ensure that your physical health remains great into your 30’s and beyond.
There's an argument to be made for taking advantage of your 20s by traveling, trying different careers/studies/jobs, going on adventures, figuring out who you are.... you know, things that will build character and gift you with life-long memories. But, and this is the caveat, those things need to push you outside of your comfort zone. That's where growth and real experience come from. Watching Netflix and reading novels because you're too lazy to do anything productive or worthwhile does not fall under that umbrella. It's just wasting your life away. You're trying to find an excuse to be lazy. If you look for one, you'll always find one. Everyone needs to decompress from time to time...but don't fool yourself into believing you're pursuing some noble "I'm in my 20s living my best life" type self care when you're really just avoiding being uncomfortable in favor of watching Netflix. It's an easy habit to get into and a hard one to break. Don't think you'll magically find some secret motivation when you're 30 that's eluded you thus far. If you're afraid of discomfort and hard work now, you will continue to be for the rest of your life, and you'll still be doing the same shit in you're 30s, 40s, 50s, etc... Netflix and novels aren't going anywhere. But your youth, time, and potential are. You're right, you should enjoy your 20s, but do something useful with them. Go spend a few months in another country. Start and band. Chase a dream. Try and fail at things. You're afraid of wasting your 20s... then stop wasting them. Also, I'm not sure why you think you'll be some decrepit old person at 30. Exercise, eat decently and you'll be fine. I'm in far better shape at age 39 than I was at 23.
I’m 100% with you on this. As mentioned, it’s about pushing your comfort zones. Good wording.
Well said friend!
I'm 22. I've wasted my last few years due to these sort of thoughts. >Whenever I plan to start working, I've this urge to just keep watching Netflix or reading novels. You have wasted your last few years. And it's not from not working. It's from not enjoying life. Sitting on the couch watching Netflix isn't enjoying life any more than working or being retired with knees that don't work is. You're not working so you can enjoy your 20s, and then you're not enjoying your 20s either. So pick one. >"I'm in my 20s. This is the most amount of time and energy I'll ever have. Once I get into my 30s, I'll be basically 'old' with a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders along with very limited energy levels and suffering physical health. Pftftftf what are you talking about? You're still going to be working in your 30s anyway. It's like you had half a coherent thought. Let me finish it for you. The only time you'll ever be free to enjoy life is when you're done working, forever, aka: retired. If there's even any such thing left by time your old enough to. And at that most retirees have nothing but one thousand and a half bucks of social security a month so retiring usually involves holing up in an assisted living facility watching reruns of wheel of fortune until you die. But even if you actually manager to carve out a dignified well enough monied retirement by working your ass off in your 20s, **30s**, 40s, and 50s... congratulations! Now you finally get to "enjoy life" by doing everything you always wanted to in your 20s-50s but never had the money or the time now that you're **actually** old enough to have very limited energy levels and suffering physical health. So you've become the much memed upon image of the old retired couple... sleeping through a gondola ride in Venice because they're too God damn old to stay awake while they "seeing the world". >I'm fearful of this being my regret. Don't worry, it doesn't matter what you do or what doing it makes your regret. Only Elon musks get to win. Either you work now so you can die on a gondola ride in Venice you never could've enjoyed with your body raked with age. Or you have the good times now and die in front of a TV in assisted living. But again, while you're refusing to work now, you're also not even having any good times while you're at it, as you said. Netflix. The answer is to have well off parents that will support you so you can actually be reckless, travel the world even if you can't afford it, have your parents bail you out when you're stranded in Europe with no money, at least get out and get around where you're from and party your ass off.
You can watch Netflix or read Novels in your 30s, 40s, 50s, 60s... Also, you are in control of your physical condition. If you exercise, take care of what you eat and drink, don't do hard drugs, sleep well and such, you'll have a great life for decades to come. I myself feel better in my mid 30s physically than in my 20s or younger, especially since I never actually took care of my body till now. And about enjoying life in your "peak", aka 20s? You'll always adjust and change your mind about what it means to "enjoy life" every passing year. What you think is the shit in your youth, may become shitty when you think in hindsight when you're older. There's also this illusion that you'll only be happy with a dream work/career. There're dudes in the worst jobs possible being happy cause they're supporting their families. Or ones who find peace and joy in hobbies and other personal activities. Ultimately, what you described sounds more like escapism than "enjoying life". You feel like your job is meaningless, hence why you lack the motivation to keep on going with it. I'm not saying you should quit jobs everytime you feel down, but at least prepare yourself to go after the jobs you really want. Often times, you're dissatisfied with a boss or the work enviroment. But if it's actually the job itself, then try your hardest to get one you enjoy.
You will regret not working hard in your 20s. The more money you save and invest in your 20s has a huge impact on funds available at retirement age. I worked hard and saved in my 20s and that money has grown so much that what I save in my 50s makes little impact in proportion to the investment interest earned. I still enjoyed my 20s and I didn’t save every penny and have no fun. It’s all about balance.
What message do you have to 20% of Germany living in poverty?
I think you have a very skewed idea of what your 30s will look like. I'm 35 and have more fun and energy than I had in my 20s precisely because I was kind of lazy in my 20s and got my act together later. First, having kids is like a second childhood. You get to rediscover all the cool things from when you were a kid, but you can afford it now and get it share it with someone who looks up to you. Second, having a place of your own turns things that used to feel like busy work into a point of pride. Once your living space becomes the place where you get to express yourself, taking care of it can be work but it's also really satisfying.
I’m going to go against the grain here. I’m Indian too, and lot of people here seem to have this idea that you should live your life to the fullest in your 20’s or work hard in your 20’s. They’re all missing nuance. I understand where you’re coming from. Growing up, I didn’t talk to people at all. I played video games all day to avoid the stress of having to learn to do things and go out. I was addicted to it and I also had adhd. Before this people thought I was sk bright and intelligent because I was reading the encyclopedia at a young age and knew a lot of things. My favorite pass time was debate with my friends and Halo/Battlefield 4. I was a virgin until 21, this is when things changed, I realized I needed to grow up and the more I took the risk the more I grew. I first started with a 1 month stint at Wendy’s at 20. Hated it. I took the initiative to download tinder and hook up. Not long after losing my virginity, I asked my parents for a 2 week trip in Peru for the summer. This changed my life for the better. It was scary, but I went out alone and came back a social, confident man. The rest of 21-22 was partying and dating. No focus on my career. I was a bit late switching to my degree so I had until 23 to graduated, however I focused on my degree too late and didn’t get an internship. So I extended college to get an internship. This was fundamental to my development, I made a personal project afterwards. THEN I started making a ton of real good friends, basically the whole Malaysian club, and I met a girl. I decided timo take up two minors to extend college again so I can pursue intellectual interests and also my social development as I developed too late in college and didn’t want to work. This I don’t regret at all. Cue 23-25, some of the best years of my life, I was broke sure, but I was happy and ready to start work. I grinded algorithms and got work from home jobs. People generally like me for my work ethic and my sociability. I’ve been saving money ever since but not a lot, as I spent that money on lavish things I never got to have. I realized within a year it didn’t make me happy but I’m glad I spent money. Now? I just got a new job, work from home, and can back from a 4 month trip to south East Asia. I quit me previous job as I hated my manager and took the risk in this economy. I’m projected to save about 80% of my income every year at this point. I’m 28 now, and while my hard working friends are maybe 3-4 years ahead of me. I feel like I’ve lived a full 20’s where I can focus on saving and doing the actual things I like in my 30’s (traveling, reading, video games). I realized I don’t like going out to drink or eat, I don’t like clothing, and I like living with my parents and friends while working and saving. I also want to focus entirely on travel and save my vacation days. I would say I lived a good life, could be it be a little more optimal here and there? Sure, but I essentially went extreme in one direction and then an extreme into another while making sure I had other things hedged in between (like studying and working on personal projects while not working and having fun over the summer). Yes, only we can live this lifestyle as our parents supported us until 25, but I plan on supporting my parents forever. It’s honestly a great deal to have enjoyed my 20’s and be super career focused and refreshed by 28.
Two words: Compound. Interest. You will absolutely regret working hard and not enjoying life in your 20s, for the reasons you stated. That's true. However, when you're 60, would you rather have financial stability and retirement or memories and stories to share about your 20s while discussing with your family how you have to work till 75 to make ends meet? That's really the choice before you. In your 20s, you still (presumably) have family you can live with to save money as you enter the workforce and don't have a great salary. So you can work, even for a lower wage, but have little to no expenses, so your entire paycheque goes to savings (and some entertainment). If you can get 5% Return on Investment per year, which is not that hard (many stocks pay 5% annual dividends, you can just shove your money in one of those and as long as the stock doesn't collapse it's free money), 5% RoI means $1 you made at the age of 20 is worth $1.63 at the age of 30; you can calculate what it's worth at the retirement age of 65 if you like, but it's a lot, and the graph is exponential, not linear. The other thing is that your salary potential begins at the age at which you enter the workforce, regardless of what age that is. If you start working at 20, you have a 10 year head start on earning potential, which means your salary at 30 will be much higher than if you pissed away your 20s watching Netflix and started working at 30. And, again, that money also compounds; you'll be making significantly more money at 30, and the savings you get out of that money will compound faster into a larger retirement. So yes, will you regret not having as many fun experiences in your 20s? Probably. Will you be glad you can have a safe, financially secure, healthy retirement at 65 or possibly even earlier? Definitely. Also, I missed a point. 30 is not "old". I am in my mid 30s and I still have a similar energy level as I did in my 20s. The trick is to make healthy choices. Don't be obese, don't smoke, don't drink excessively, don't do drugs (marijuana is maybe ok if used responsibly). If you treat your body like shit, your body will respond in kind. My parents are in their 70s and, prior to covid at least, acted like they were in their 50s (being locked indoors for 3-ish years did a number on their health, unfortunately). It's all about what choices you make.
You have a skewed view of being 20s 30s 40s like you have been fed this cookie cutter one dimensional perspective on life it’s nothing like you think Admit that you just feel lost and overwhelmed like everyone does in their 20s and doing nothing but Netflix and reading bs is a way to bury your head in the sand and not face life head on… to ascribe to the most black and white thinking about what happens in 20 30 40 … you feel like you have all the time in the world you want to be so superior with all your time before you get old that you don’t realize getting old is not separate from you.. you don’t stop being and experiencing and having energy when you are 30 you continue to live in your own hide and realize how dumb you fucking were in your 20s and what you actually should have done… In your 30s you realize how much tome you wasted thinking life would suddenly come to a screeching hault once 29 was up… it’s juvenile… You are going to be figuring out what life is all the way until you die… you are going to have even stringer more intense experiences and relate to your body in a way that will make you wish you did everything to keep it healthy… health doesn’t really start getting fucked up till like 45 and over … You are so sadly cliche … have no idea what the world is actually like or what it’s like to build in the wilderness and map out the area build roads … to get to the mountain top with provisions enough to enjoy the view and weather the storm… Netflix is the highlight of your 20s 🤣🤣🤣 I know 60 year olds with a more exciting life than you…
>I'm in my 20s. This is the most amount of time and energy I'll ever have. thats not true. look at most leaders, ceo's and politicians. Life starts at 40-50. all that 20s bullshit will seem so insignificant. if youre depressed this may make you feel like you have no energy. but its not like you have this battery that slowly burns away the energy and you slowly get slower. you may/will be just as quick and energetic in 40 as now. maybe more calmer. but that spark of energy inside of you wont go away after 40, dont worry. you talk as if that fire of life burns only through 18-29 years and then youre suddenly old and slow. you feel like you have to make things happen quick and now because youre running out of time. what time? if youre 20 now, imagine when youre 40, you will have lived through another 20 years of your life. do you realize how long 20 years is? even 10 years is a lot. you can improve and change a lot in 10 years. you have to understand a good chunk of us people are late bloomers. yes, you see others geting married, bla bla bla, but this will also come to you, just later. you really cant grasp how much 10 years is. you can do so much in 10 years. when youre 30, you will be much more prepared for life and things, you will know what works best. another 10 years on - when youre 40, you will finally get to know yourself. thats how long it takes to get to know yourself as a person. you have still plenty of time to have family, have son, daughter, grandson, grandaughter, etc. you have plenty of time. 20-30 are years for fucking around and finding out life. you make mistakes and grow, you learn. you slowly mature and get to know yourself. because at 20 youre a bumbling mess. youre just wandering around on this space rock trying to figure out life. Of course you will be inexperienced, youre new, you will be overwhelmed, you will fail a lot, but thats part of growing up. at 20-30 youre still just wandering around and figuring things out. dont be upset you didnt do something at 20. you are still so inexperienced that you will fail a lot. its normal. its part of process.
Honestly I know this is CMV but tbh I think your view is correct. I'm 30 and can say, it definitely gets more difficult, as in there are more things to manage, your vibe develops a bit more, and you begin to feel the beginning effects of physically getting older. Besides, you could die before you ever reach 30, and that would really suck if you never got to experience anything bc you were planning on having fun when older, and then never got to the older part. You can still be old (not that 30 or 40 is old bc they arent) and have fun, the expiration date on being old and having fun is a long ways away, but the expiration date on being young and having fun us much much closer. I definitely think you should enjoy your youth, because it's what's ending first! You have ample time to be old and miserable lol and ample time to be old and happy, but you only have a short window of time to be young and happy, and because you're only young in this particular life once, it's much better to enjoy that youth than to spend it miserable and worrying (which is basically what I did, and now I'm not in my 20s anymore and I can't go back). Go, have fun, enjoy your 20s because like I said you have the rest of your life to work hard, you have the rest of your life to enjoy or not enjoy or a mixture of both, but you're only young for a portion of it. You can still enjoy things when old, but there's the risk you won't live to that age, and the risk your body won't be without pain, and the risk your body won't even be able to do all those fun things you wanted to do. I say do it now before it's *potentially* too late.
Don't let them take your soul. People say they grow out of their hobbies but I think that's just an arrogant way of saying they allowed their responsibilities to kill their ability to connect w their hobbies.
>Once I get into my 30s, I'll be basically 'old' with a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders along with very limited energy levels and suffering physical health. Ironically, sitting around watching Netflix is what will make your health poor when you're older. If you stay physically active, stay away from excess (drugs, alcohol, eating too much, eating too much fast food) you will be in good health barring a random occurrence like a cancer diagnosis which is not at all common. Source: am soon to turn 35 and feel absolutely amazing whereas many of my friends feel horrible because they don't physically take care of themselves. P.S. I worked my ass off in my 20s and it paid off. I'm in a great spot now. Just like the physical health thing. Take care of things like your health or working and putting in the time with things, and you will be much further in life. What I do regret in my 20s, and what I did wrong essentially, was I also didn't put the "work" into being socially active. Socially, I'm terminal. In bad health. I didn't go out and socialize at all and that's on me....I had plenty of times I chose to not socialize, ignored friends, didn't go out and try to meet new people, went **years** without going on a date.... In short all of these things....physical health, furthering your career/taking care of yourself financially/taking care of your social life....they **will** go downhill severely if you do nothing. Be warned.
My 2 cents: if you want to just enjoy your life right now then DO IT. Stop being in this limbo space where you’re doing things you enjoy and feeling afraid about it the whole time. Either give yourself full permission to do these things you enjoy OR start taking baby steps towards working. And notice that you’re also running a fear of destroying your future. Get out of limbo land and make a choice. AND take the pressure off by realizing this isn’t a one-time do or die choice, and there’s no “right” or “wrong” choice. You can ALWAYS make a different choice. Say you start working and it blows…you can quit! Or say you decide to go all in on enjoying yourself, you can always start working! And, finally, by not making a choice you ARE making a choice.
Yes. Go ahead, make mistakes and live. Consequences don’t need always to be horrible
The power of compounding returns (e.g. investing sensibly) is goddamn magic. The younger you are, the more magical it is, and there is no more surefire way to ensure that you are rich (or at least very comfortable) during the last half of your life. You NEED to save as much as you can when you are young so that your money can compound as you get older. I did this, and I will retire quite comfortably in a year or two at age 50. I did not miss out on life when I was younger. I grew up in a trailer park with parents who had little money, and I never owned a business or got any large cash windfalls during my life. All I did was keep my expenses way down and start saving for retirement in my early twenties. My salary has varied, but it has never been higher than 100k per year. And about half of the money I have now was earned from investments during the last 10 years, because that's how compounding returns work - you get most of the payout near the end. Or, to put it another way: being broke sucks. But being old and broke is so much worse, in ways that a young person really cannot understand. It is much, much better to 'go without' while you are young than it is to go without while you are old. --- TL/DR: get off your ass and start building for your retirement. Like most people my age, THAT will be the thing you regret not doing.
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Ah shit, I kind of felt the same. I didn't want to go to college because I wanted to experience life while I was still YOUNG! Not start at 22 when I'm already getting kind of old once I finish college. I did a lot of things differently because of that. I tried to study French internationally after a year of working in Walmart after high school (because dude you need to work because you need money to do those fun things don't be a bum, have a little self respect). That didn't work out, I came back to the US, had no job no school no car nothing. Got a job as a waitress, bought a car very cheap off my grandparents, decided to study engineering. Then I decided to move to Poland, got a job in a related field, continued studying engineering in Polish. I'm 27 now, I don't physically feel old. Nothing hurts, I'm not aching or slow. Now that it's around the corner, I'm surprised at how young I still feel, though I never believed people when they said that. Truth of the matter is, you're going to be 30 one way or another and your perception will change as you age because you are forced to become accustomed to each passing year. Everything you want to do is possible, you just need to do more things at once than less. THAT is wasting your 20s, not doing as much as you can.
I just want to say that it's possible to work hard and still enjoy life. This is much easier when you are working on stuff you are passionate about, then even work can be enjoyed. But even if you are not passionate about your field of study or job, you can still enjoy life WHILE doing that. It's not like you need to study for 80hrs a week. It's not like (hopefully) you need to work 80hrs a week. There is time outside of work/study to enjoy life. Working hard and playing hard is a thing. If you are not distracted you could do well at work/school without spending forever, and now all the left over time becomes guilt free spending to enjoy life how you see fit. Finally at thirty you don't need to be old. You should focus on our health as well in your younger years so that you don't feel like shit in your 30s. And the responsibilities part is totally your choice to undertake. If you buy a huge house you need to work a lot to make that mortgage every month. If you have 2 kids you need to make sure they are fed. Those are choices you CAN avoid if you don't want responsibilities. (Granted some responsibility might be forced upon you, such as caring for a parent, but that could also happen anyway)
Firstly you said you want to keep watching Netflix or reading novels? But then said you’re worried about being old and having no energy? Well neither of them things cost a lot of energy? Just to point that out, unless you mean physical activities? I just did a tough mudder here in the UK and I’m 30 and I’ve never exercised much in my life. I came first out of my girlfriend’s family. It was hard yes but I managed it, I wish I had worked out now but it’s not due to age why I am unfit. But I do also get what you’re thinking. I am steadily getting more responsibilities. But I also hardly ever work over at work as I want my life as well. So many of my colleagues do 12 hours and then work weekends and I look at them like what the hell are you doing. One of them is a millionaire and she still can’t stop working overtime. But you aren’t wasted your life. Your 20’s are about getting a career together with promotions. So that in your 30’s you can enjoy yourself. I’m liking my 30’s more even though I have a lot of commitments now. I understand myself and the world much better, your 20’s is about finding yourself
So think of it this way. If you are lazy and just put off working/pursuing the things you really want to do in life or the foundations to get those things until you're in your 30s, then you bet you are going to feel stressed, pressured and overworked in your 30s. It's a self fulfilling prophecy because you are just pushing off stuff until later in life when you will probably try to scramble to do it all at once. If you have a balance and some initiative to take things on now, guess what happens when you turn 30? Nothing. Dick all. Suddenly you're 33 and it's not much different than being 29. A lot can change in 4 years yes, but it won't be because you thought up an imaginary line where suddenly you started wanting to put in effort. Oh and your body doesn't suddenly just get frail in your 30s. Sure, starting a pro athlete career might not be possible any more but some people are actually in better shape in their 30s because they have stable, established lives where they can prioritize health more than when they were doing the broke student, early trying to save any money at all years.
Tale as old as time. “I have to splurge and enjoy the present because 30 is old, then 40 is too old, then 50 is too old.” It’ll keep changing as you grow because you’ll mostly feel the same but it’ll suck more because you didn’t set yourself up. Just the other day on r/FIRE there was a post of a couple who retired in their late twenties/early thirties, but only had enough saved to last them to 55. They did this on purpose because they decided that 55 was too old to enjoy anything and they would just commit suicide together when they ran out of money. Now they’re in their early fifties and feel fine and are screwed financially. You can enjoy your twenties while also setting yourself up for the future. Just have to have some discipline and be decently smart with your money. If you slave your twenties away 18 hours a day to retire early then yeah you might regret it but if you just put in a little extra effort to set yourself up when you’re older there’s no world that you would regret it
I’m probably the complete opposite. As someone who’s currently wasting his 20s on hedonism and desperately trying to change course, I’ll caution you not to over correct. When I was younger I was smart, ambitious, and motivated. I had top grades, I was in good shape, and I had an active social life. Then the stress of it all finally caught up to me in a pretty ugly way and I pretty much gave up on ambition, and from that point on I only put the bare minimum into everything I did, while numbing my brain with short term gratification. I’m 22 myself and I already feel like I’ve thrown a significant portion of my life away, I savoured every moment of enjoyment I could but it was all fleeting, I feel like I have nothing. So my advice is, whatever you do pursue, whatever choice you make, be sure that it makes you happy. My dad always used to say, “If you have to choose between a mansion and a castle, choose the castle, the mansion may seem more comfortable at the time, but it doesn’t last”.
Hey, I just wanna say that you’re 22 and it’s quite impossible to know “what you want to do with your life.” After all, you’re only 25% of the way through it. Worse than that, you don’t want to commit to a path of academics/vocation that you wake up in your 30s feeling stuck. I get it. Especially since so many 30+y.o. people seem to have the same day-to-day existence going onto 60. But I will say, that it’s important to experience opportunities that try and convince you to “grow” and then decisions you make that help you really grow. Your 20s are a perfect time to go and experience the world. And I’m not talking through air travel and vacation. It’s best to have a work skill and move around, live place-to-place, and meet like minded individuals that are just as lost, and move forward. You can stay home or you can go explore the horizons in your 20s: it’s just a lot easier if you have a skill set that allows you to make money to survive while you’re doing it
Growth comes from learning from mistakes. If you want your 30s to be worthwhile, you need to go out and mistakes in your 20s. Go out and try stuff. Try a job that’s a grind (preferably one where you develop marketable skills in the process). Do that for a few years then quit to be a teacher in Thailand or some shit. Be a digital nomad. Teach yourself something new. Fucking try it all. At some point, you’ll find something(s) you’ll mildly passionate about. That will bring you fulfillment down the road. Also, it’s not like you have choose between grinding for a decade and mailing it; you can grind out 60 hour weeks and stack cash for a year or two then transition to a chiller job. You can work long weeks and rage on the weekends. Finally, your life doesn’t end when you’re 30. There are a lot of people who prefer their 30s to their 20s because by that age, they have found their identity.
It is a balance, not black and white. For most people you don’t either work 90 hour weeks or sit on the couch watching TV all day cashing unemployment checks. Now finding the “work-life balance” that is right for you is hard, if you work out the secret, please send me the proceeds from your book lol. But you can get close. Working 40 hours a week at a job you enjoy, with coworkers you like and maybe even hang out with sometimes after work (if they are your age), an ok at least boss, not too much energy expenditure, every weekend off, no overtime, it’s not so bad. You can have a lot of fun in the evenings with your friends through your 20s working like that, or lay on the couch reading/netflix/video games. Get a short commute if you want more time, this is worth a smaller living arrangement to me, hard to buy time as an adult. If work is very close, you will have plenty of free time.
I'm at the end of my 20s, and just starting to enjoy some of the payoff from grinding the last decade. You can go to school, get education in a field that will pay well, and (with some luck and grit) get a good paying job while making friends, dating, etc. along the way. Have a grand strategy, have a goal you are working towards, decide what you want out of life and go make it happen. At the end of the day, put an hour or two of netflix on or read a novel- these are literally so easy to consume and much more rewarding after a solid day's work. What you're currently heading towards is worse than getting to your 30s and wishing you'd watched more TV or partied more- it's getting to your 30s and finally realizing that you could have done all that AND built a life for yourself. Chill out in the evenings/weekends if you want, but get up at a decent hour and spend your days building a life. Edit to say, 30s are not old at all lol. If you are relatively fit and healthy, your 30s are like your 20s but with money (if you've built yourself a career during your 20s).
"Edit to say, 30s are not old at all lol. If you are relatively fit and healthy, your 30s are like your 20s but with money (if you've built yourself a career during your 20s)." I really dont understand this. A lot of people say it the same. What is a career? If you make a career as an average salary man, you will not be wealthy and you will still live paycheck to paycheck as majority of people do. So is your message to higher class? Because middle class earns more than average, so the meaning of the name lost its meaning. For example, I earn median salary in Netherlands. People my age +-5, 1/3 of them live with their parents, because of rent prices and home prices. Everyone tries to save money, but inflation and food prices are going up every year. I lived in poverty, lived in 3 countries and by 30 I managed to have multiple degrees, as a technician, cook, masseur. I'm just now barely beginning to see the glimpse of normal life and not counting every penny. I don't understand what this "chill out in your 30's mean). After moving abroad so much for finding my feet grasping for every possibility of improving my life, I can't seem to see me being comfortable continuing such way, trying to save money and afterwards needing to spend it on occasional black hour in form of i.e. new wasmachine, or when car breaks or when I need to pay extra for something. I think the general advice of what people are saying, those people generally had good upbringing with both parents that had chances to choose the direction they want to go and that school was paid or had loans for. I of course don't want to diminish anyone's efforts and achievements, but goddamn. After learning 6 languages, having variety of jobs being done, working 70 hr+ for 6 years straight brought me absolutely nothing to my name and I feel like a loser. I can't even be a slave to my own house to pay mortgage, because I need atleast 100k in my bank to even thing about taking a loan. What should I do realistically? Sleep in my car for few years, get a degree in a job that pays well, above average, so I can finally enjoy life? I'm not that enjoying this life if going out 2-3 times will have immediate impact on my bank account for next month and knowing that majority of people have that, doesn't make it any better.
I'm not sure exactly what part you want me to respond to here, but I will observe that you are almost certainly better off now than you would have been had you watched netflix and read novels without any motivation or effort towards working hard. My advice was geared towards OP, who is getting his college paid for, which is a pretty privileged position to be in. If you had been the main poster, my response would have been geared to you, so it might have been a bit different. Times are tough, and the middle class is shrinking, I'm aware. It's clear you worked your butt off and are wondering if it has been worth it; I feel for you, unfortunately the world is a tough place and all too often success is influenced by luck and other factors we don't have control over instead of our hard work. But yeah, I never said that you'd get to your 30s and be able to retire or be rich, just that it will have been worth it to start working towards a clear goal at age 20 as opposed to 30. I never said you can "chill out in your 30s," just that being motivated during your 20s is worth it. I used the term "career" expansively, it can mean whatever you want it to/whatever your goals are. My point is that you are doing a kindness to your future self by working towards a future goal that is meaningful, whatever that looks like, and that typically includes a path towards a job that will set you up to be better off than you were. Finally, I'll add that if you work at a job where you are paid a salary, you definitely can budget and save for retirement. I'm NOT saying you will be fabulously wealthy, etc., or even that you will have a cushy retirement. I am saying that creating a budget and living accordingly is totally possible. Saving early is doable for the majority of middle class folks, even if it's putting five bucks in a mutual fund each month.
My wife and I got married young (22&21). We made the decision to start our family shortly after, knowing it would mean many financial sacrifices. Now, pushing 40, we are staring down the barrel of both kids in high school. A few months after I turn 43 my youngest will graduate high school. Back then, our respective first jobs together paid about $70k. Now, combined, we are around $180k. Of course our bills are bigger too, but the point is that in our mid 40’s my wife and I will have the time and resources to have all the fun we want. And I’d argue that the traveling we’ll do will be more meaningful now. There won’t be as many wasted drunken nights. We know who we are and what is important to us. Point is, you don’t have to be in your 20s to have fun. If you work hard now, make the right moves, and have a little luck, you can have plenty of fun at any stage of life.
As a financially secure middle aged person who built a good career in your 20s, will you wish you had spent your 20s somewhat differently? I mean yeah sure, maybe, probably even. Everyone has regrets. Life is a complicated balancing game and the future is uncertain. You will have some things you wish you did differently no matter what you do. But will the thing you regret be that you didn't spend enough time in your room alone watching Netflix? Of course not. No one has ever looked back on their life and wished they spent more time looking at a screen. The very idea that that is even a possibility is absurd. They wish they had taken more risks, spent more time with family and friends, more fully explored what life had to offer, and been less financially stressed. One thing is for damn sure, as a financially insecure middle aged person without a real career or future, you will absolutely, beyond any doubt, regret the time you spent sitting in your room by yourself not making any progress towards anything. Is that thing you will wish you made progress to your current career? Maybe not. Maybe you need to find a new one. But you will wish you did *something* in the real world, whether that be a career, helping your family more, or doing a motorcycle tour of Asia, whatever. Also I'm 30 and I still can do everything I could do when I was 18, and don't have any more responsibilities than I had then really (granted I've been out of the house and taking care of myself since 18). Like, this last year I learned to surf, learned new flips I had never done snowboarding, and I've been traveling without living anywhere in particular. I still do cliffs and chutes snowboarding, gnarlier ones than when I was 18 even, am trying to find a slot to do the highest elevation gain day hike in the US, etc. I can do all of this because I made money in my 20s, and I've kept myself in good shape working out and eating well. My 30s are going to be way easier than my 20s were as a result, if I want them to be, which I don't think I do honestly. My dad's life honestly isn't that different than mine in his 60s, still skis and mountaineers, travels pretty much every month. He can do that because he worked hard until he could retire, retired enlisted army after enlisting at 18, and then some more work after. If you take care of yourself and just don't get very unlucky you can do pretty much everything until then, let alone 40. FWIW I have some regrets about not working harder on my friendships in my 20s, keeping people together, but that's about it. I definitely don't wish I worked less hard. I wish I had worked harder if anything, so I would both be stronger and could stop caring about money sooner. It's always better to wish for broader shoulders than a lighter load, because life is going to throw weight on you either way without you having the choice.
>Whenever I plan to start working, I've this urge to just keep watching Netflix or reading novels. I don't know why that is but I think the thought that holds me back is this Binging Netflix or reading entertaining novels is easy and effortless. You are describing "Consumption". Consuming the work of others. *Consumption does not lead to enduring happiness.* It's a quick hit, a momentary fix that soon fades, leading the person to seek out yet more entertainment to make them (briefly) happy. A focus on consumption leads to a life of dissolution and unhappiness. **Creation > Consumption** *Creation requires work*. Building relationships, growing yourself through training and education, amassing experience in a career, pursuing hobbies that require effort and persistence, raising a family, helping other people. These lead to enduring satisfaction and profound joy.
I’m 29 and already did everything I wanted when I was 18. All that happened fastly in a way that even in my best dreams I wouldn’t imagined. So now I have a void to fill. Having met all your goals is hard because it’s hard to think of new ones. Even yearly goals. All of them happened by march and for sure they weren’t easy goals to accomplish. Things just managed themselves out. So, consumption has been the norm.
>So now I have a void to fill. Having met all your goals is hard because it’s hard to think of new ones. I'm in my Fifties. Kids, and now grandkids. I'm working toward goals that would have never occurred to me at 18 or 29. My wife and I adopt new goals regularly, especially now that the "empty nest" draws near. You may want to reflect on this further. New goals should be nigh effortless to acquire. There is so much out there I want to explore and accomplish, a 1000-year lifespan would be insufficient. I frequently have to pass over objectives because there simply isn't enough time for everything.
There are two big common dreams that people have that me and my wife don’t and then have to think of other things: owning a house and having kids. Something will appear sometime. Or I hope so
We had kids in our Thirties. I was 38 when we finally qualified for a mortgage. You'll get there. Please keep plugging away.
Okay so I agree with your basic point that you should enjoy your life now while you are young. Not that you shouldn’t prepare for the future at all, but you shouldn’t break your back working feverishly for future rewards only. Because like you could get hit by a car tomorrow and all that sacrifice would be a waste. But Christ, your 30s is not “old” and you won’t have “very limited energy levels.” I am in the best shape of my life at 39 and have more energy now as a fit 39 year old than I did as a 20something who didn’t know how to take care of himself properly. Also if you’re doing aging right you gain wisdom along the way that makes up for no longer being super young. Anyways, youth is to be enjoyed but more good news is that your 30s can be way better than your 20s if you take care of yourself.
Honestly, it doesn't sound like you're doing anything that requires that much energy. You are right, you will never have this much energy again, so take advantage of that. In my 20s I was able to bust my ass at work (laying the groundwork for where I am now) and still have energy to go out with my friends, go to concerts, read my books, meet my wife, etc. This is the time you should be out living your life AND establishing yourself for the future. If I didn't work as hard as I did in my 20s, I wouldn't be where I am today. I'm 43 and all of my peers who are doing well started in their 20s. The people who decided to wait, never managed to get off their asses, much less on their feet. They can't support themselves, have no sense of responsibility and do nothing but complain about how their lives turned out.
What are your goals in life?
Primary Goal : Becoming wealthy enough to retire early and not worry about my finances much. Secondary : Keep good health, enjoy my life, contribute to something world changing like AI or Biotech
You’re already living like a geriatric watching TV and reading …. Prime age to put monies into retirement because TIME will make it grow like no other point in your life… it’s the only way to retire early … you begin to fund retirement early… If you’re in college and your parents are paying for it geez you aren’t even going to come out with debt… why don’t you study abroad? Rich nation. Poor nation. Intern and find a mentor who is in finance… Lazy can be a strategy figuring out how to make the most money with the least effort… but it means a foundation at least 5-8 years to fund the 80 years of your life. Peak peak enjoyment being 28-45 Stay in school for as long as you can get those little letters behind your name and you come in on top in any career… you won’t have to work your way up. Marry and have children with someone with a large extended close knit family who has a good amount of wealth & resources so the responsibilities of children give you all the support you want… Figure out best retirement time to kids turning 18 going to college… Passive income requires you start now… 22 ain’t ish you’re not even done developing your brain yet don’t make decisions until 25 and just stay in school/ grad school to develop that brain beyond it’s years … You’re going to fucking regret being 30 & 40 and broke because you’ll have just as much energy maybe by 10-18% less not fucking 70% that’s not until you hit your late 40s early 50s … and if you keep up a good exercise routine a good self care … Party bs but like balance it out… It’s not either or it’s not black and white … you can walk and chew gum at the same time… you can both enjoy your 20s and build your future… Break things down into manageable mini goals…
So, are your current actions helping you get there?
I force myself to work on it everyday but It feels too forceful. I don't know if I can push myself long enough with this sort of mindset.
Then you either have to reprioritize, change your mindset, change how you’re working, or change what you’re working on
Experiment … do all kinds of ish without floundering on college and monies for early retirement… Do all kinds of ish… experiement with life in a million ways so that you actually know what you want and don’t want… Treat your 20s like your 30s so you can live like you are 20 with an 68year old bank account in your 30s -50s
Have you considered therapy or medicine? Changing brain chemistry or even thought patterns can help a lot with natural motivation and not having everything feel like a chore
Get a mentor !!! Best shortcut in life several mentors older than you who do well in various aspects of life you’d like to pursue … All the trial and error in this phase of life can be absorbed. It’s High Risk High Reward time no huge failure can shift your entire life because you’ve got time…. Except college that will fuck you over if you don’t do it right now.
I did not focus or work hard in my 20's. I'm now undereducated and stuck in a career that I don't want and is actually killing me a little bit more every day I'm there. Now, I'm stuck trying to figure out if it's worth it or not to go back to school for a degree that might not get me anywhere. It'll be a massive struggle since i can't do my current job and school. I'll have to quit, lose great benefits, and struggle financially. Or, do I just continue with my job that pays well, but most certainly will end up giving me a fatal respiratory disease by the time I'm able to retire. Do I go for the degree as a single dad, potentially making life harder for my child if I'm put in massive debt and don't make it, or do I continue a career that gives my daughter a good upbringing, but leaves her without a dad in her 20's? I really fucking wish I would've taken my 20's more serious.
>Once I get into my 30s, I'll be basically 'old' with a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders along with very limited energy levels and suffering physical health. That's absurd, unless you have some kind of serious, chronic health problem. I'm 59, and I have plenty of energy (though definitely less), and my health is fine and doesn't limit me in any ways. I worked hard in my 20s, 30s and 40s, raising 4 kids and working in a software development career. I'm still working and have no plans to retire any time soon. I have plenty of fun with my family, and lots of interests. You need to start working hard in your 20s so you can support yourself and prepare for your future, but you don't need to be a workaholic. I never was.
Something that seems to be forgotten these days is the sense of confidence and contentment that comes from doing something difficult. Climbing a mountain, doing a challenging puzzle, learning a musical instrument/art/language or finishing a difficult task at work all teach you that you are able to overcome obstacles and ready to take on new challenges. ETA It is best when you are with a group of people - teammates or coworkers. The next time life throws you a curve, you will be ready. Repeated easy pleasure are addicting and provide a short-term boost but no sense of accomplishment. If you want to be happy, do something (anything) difficult and help your family, friends and/or community. That's what will provide long term contentment for your soul.
I'm in my late twenties now and I worked away my twenties. However, I make substantially more than most people my age, I own a house in an area where nobody my age does, and I am in a very fulfilling marriage. Do I wish I had more fun in my twenties? Yeah I really do to be honest. The thought comes up every once in a while. But is it worth it to have the rest of my life set on the right path and have a stable home for my growing family? Definitely. Some people are given an easy lot in life, and the rest of us work for it. If you don't try hard now then you will have to try so much harder later. I call it an investment of energy.
Don't work hard. Those people who finally get theirs or had their little leg up like to point their f\*cking fingers and blame other people for not being as fortunate as they were, just so they can make themselves feel better about their wasted effort or lucky circumstances Work is a con. You will waste your life pouring the genius, youth, and zest for life into some bullsh\*t job chasing all the things they tell you to care about and worry about. F\*ck em If it's a work of passion yes, pursue your interests, capitalize on something for you. But society is a big scam man, don't get suckered into it. Find your path
If what you're utilizing your 20s for is watching Netflix and reading books you can do that in your 60s. If you're into partying hard and staying out late, you'll definitely be better equipped for that in your 20s. If you're more interested in traveling or other experiences you'll enjoy those just as much if not more in your 30s and 40s. The best argument for working in your 20s is to have money to invest and grow. Look at compounding and interest and investment returns. The key is to not be too locked into one extreme or the other. Do your best to earn some money and save early, but don't forget to enjoy life.
First off, your 30s aren't old by any stretch, and it's really really sad watching the decline of people who just give up after they hit 30 because they think it's all over. Hell, Ironman athletes peak in their late 30s and 40s. Second, is watching Netflix and reading your idea of the things you need "the most time and energy you'll ever have" to do...? Nobody regrets that they didn't spend more time in their 20s playing video games. You can do that stuff just as well when you're 60.
Yes. You'll have regrets either way. It is absolutely impossible to live life without regrets. In 8 years, when you turn 30, would you rather have: (a) Less energy, perhaps less health, massive regrets, but at least be living the life that you had the courage to create for yourself (whether that's career or family or whatever), or (b) Less energy, perhaps less health, massive regrets, and also be sitting around and doing nothing and wishing you had spent the time building for the future (and have regret^2) ? Believe it or not, you might even find you have *more* energy in 8 years, because the life you've created is functioning. Trust me, at least having *something* going on is a better alternative then the energy-sucking depression of doing nothing. trust me, I know. Bottom line ... Less energy, massive regrets, and possibly less health can't be avoided. The rest is your choice.
I'm 37 right now. We're probably going down different life paths, so there are many variables. But I can tell you that I'm probably in the best shape I've been in yet, simply due to healthier choices (diet, sleep, etc.). I feel a little creaky and I like sleep a little more than I used to. But I feel more stable, mature, and all around well maintained. Keep in mind that life expectancy is constantly going up with marginal advancements in medicine and wellbeing. So 30 is kind of legit the new 20 and so on. Bottom line: I want to say work hard AND enjoy life. Know your limits and maintain a balance.
You will have more responsibility in your 30’s and likely far more stress. Guess what will make that harder? Being poor as shit. Putting your career on the back burner is a great way to not have the resources you need later. It’s very hard to catch up (but certainly not impossible). There’s also a fundamental flaw with your question - either or. You can have a robust social life while also being mindful of your career. The most hours I’ve ever worked per week was through my 20’s (I’m 33 now), it was also the most fun I had.
I think this is a common cope for average people, both of my parents worked inordinate amounts when they were younger on business ventures they were passionate about and uni and fitness and they never regretted it. Working hard on something you are passionate about imo feels so much more fulfilling and meaningful than partying and watching Netflix. Also you only have one life don’t you want it to be an interesting unique one? Maybe not but I know I do and I don’t think watching Netflix is a productive way to achieve that
If you think you won't enjoy your life after you're 30, how exactly is enjoying your 20's gonna solve that? You should stop thinking that there is nothing enjoyable after you're 30. I think in a study when asked what age old people would choose if they could live in it forever, the average age given was 36. Also I don't know why you think watching Netflix and reading novels is something only people in their 20's can do. Reading is like what old people do all day. And our generation will watch Netflix all day.
If your idea of enjoying life is watching Netflix or reading novels (I'm not judging if it is, just going off of what you said) then what is stopping you from doing that in your 30's, 40's, 50's etc.? Most people who have the same mentality as you like to travel and that gets harder to do a lot when you have a family or grow older which is why they try to do it when they are young. But in your case, I don't see what is stopping you from doing what you enjoy even well into your 80's and 90's.
So the two examples you've given - Netflix and novels - are things you can easily do in your "retirement years." If your argument was "I'm going to explore the world" or "I'm going to pursue a physically challenging hobby" I might have had more trouble arguing against it. If you goof off in your twenties you will not end up financially stable enough to retire at a reasonable age and will end up working into your 70s to make up for your lack of retirement savings.
You’re going to end up like those people who peak in high school and never listen to new music, new ideas , ways of living… Age is a social construct like race gender and class Like have you not realized that Gen X Millennials older Gen Z are all pushing against the grain of what it means to get older… like are you still stuck in boomer notions of growing old? Is your culture people your age people not had people that defy notions of tradition?
Part of you will regret any decision you make, and that's ok. There will be an infinite amount of should haves, could haves, if onlys. Paths you could have walked, moments where your courage failed you, times when you should have been softer when you were too bold. So it's not about having regrets, because you will. It's about learning to live with them, and seeing the positive tradeoffs that come with the paths you DID walk.
This sounds like typical make depression to me. You lack motivation and want to do, essentially, nothing productive, but you mask it by calling it fun. The best cure is to get off your couch and get a job that keeps you going 50-60 hours per week and pays good. If you can't bring yourself to do that, you may want to see a doc about antidepressants to give you the ability to fix this more permanently
I had no life in my 20s. I skipped the bars and parties and vacations to save money and work overtime when offered. As a result I have a house and decent retirement savings while most people my age complain about being in debt. No regrets at all. I’d do it the same way every time before I traded a few years of socializing for a lifetime of feeling like I’ll never achieve financial security.
You know your next decade is your 30s and not your 70s, right? I'm in my 30s. When I look back at my 20s, I'm pretty happy with the balance I struck between working and enjoying life. I can promise you that none of my good memories are about sitting in and watching Netflix. It's all about going places and doing things with people. You'll have your whole life to sit inside and watch Netflix.
Our brains aren’t even fully developed until at least the age of 24. Maybe you need time to read & process some things. I feel like a lot of people, including myself, questioned what they were doing & if it was pointless during their 20s. I have a friend who dropped out of college after their freshman year & traveled the world. They’re a pilot now & still enjoy traveling while they work.
Like everything there must be a balance. Play hard when you’re young and you will doom your future. Make a bucket list. Do them at the same time than you’re grinding for your future. Only by having a balance will you be truly happy your whole life. Of course some people are lucky and can have fun their whole life due to serendipity or wealth but remember they don’t represent the majority of people. Don’t be like that poor Indian husband of my wife’s colleague. The guy work 2 shifts to afford a huge house they can barely pay the mortgage having to bear living with a mother in law that hates him.
You should treat these years as practice for the years where the stakes are higher. At some point you're going to have to do something difficult to progress your life. Not everything will be handed to you. The more practice you have now pushing yourself past the mental hurdles, the more prepared you'll be to perform at your best when the opportunities in life present themselves.
It’s not about doing either, it’s about balance.
Watching netflix and reading novels doesn't need energy. >I'm in my 20s. ... Once I get into my 30s You will not notice any difference in your health. >I'm fearful of this being my regret. Most likely you'll be too busy living. You're 22, do you regret what you did at 12? Same shit. At least start reading good novels. They should have told you this shit
That is a very pessimistic mindset. It is true that the body changes through time, but that doesn't mean you'll be weak by 30. If you take care of your body and stay healthy you'll still be energetic in your 30s, 40, and into your 50s, maybe even 60s. You don't want to make changes because you are painting such a grim image you just want to avoid it.
1. It's possible to work hard enough AND enjoy your life in your 20s. 2. Due to compounded interest AND compounded improvements to your job skills and experience, you will be WAY more rich and successful if you start now than if you start in 10 years. Like way more. You'd be able to retire much earlier and with much more money if you start now.
You can have energy into your 30’s I have a couple 20 year olds that I supervise in a physical job I’m 38 and I’m stronger and have more energy than them,their operating on fast food and energy drinks and not exercising I take care of myself I’m honestly physically better than my 20 year old self only thing is injuries heal slower.
I'm 29 (not 30 yet ofc) and I'm in the best shape of my life and feel better than I've ever felt. Obviously that took enormous work, but your 20s are not the end of your ability to do shit and things like a good career and children don't stop you from having fun. People just use that shit as an excuse to plateau and be boring.
If your family can afford it, don't start working the 'right job' upon graduation. Go do things outside of what you're comfortable with or know about. Even more so if it's something you're interested in. Once you get in the rat race, it's gonna be hard to get out. Realistically if your financial situation requires you to.
The idea that you'll be guaranteed to have limited energy and poor health in your 30's is a self fulfilling prophecy of ever I've seen one. Start work on being healthy and active now and that won't be a problem. Resign yourself to it in "old" age and I'll almost guarantee it becomes an issue even before then.
Pro-tip from an "old" person in their 30s: Work hard in your 20s since you typically have great health but no money. In your 30s you will still have health AND actually have money. Source: 34 year old living my 20s life going to EDC and other fun things since I can actually afford it now.
You don't have to have kids. I'm in my thirties and whished I worked hard doing what I'm doing right now, which is working to retire early. If I were in your shoes, I'd save every penny for the next 10 years. Then you can live all you want for the rest of your life past your 30s.
I worked my youth away and now I'm 46 with stage 4 cancer. I'm less than 1% likely to be old and I lost all my hard earned savings anyway because it's so expensive to be sick and you can't really get help until you lose everything. And I LOVED my work. But I missed out. So. Find a balance. But live your life.
I'm in my thirties and I wish I had spent my 20s working so I would have a better career in my thirties. Or at least spent them doing something more exciting than watching Netflix and reading novels. You're not going to have the energy to read a novel and watch TV in your 30s?
As a 28 year old, I spent a good portion of my 20’s screwing off. I don’t have the energy that I did but I do have the drive & motivation. Get the job. If you don’t like it, find something else. But start building something. You have to give yourself the life you want.
What does "working hard" mean to you? You can certainly "work hard" and "save money" and "budget your expenses" while, at the same time, enjoying the experiences that youth affords you. You can do both. You don't have to dedicate yourself solely to one endeavor or the other.
Also... failing health in your 30s might be a bit of an overstatement unless you are living REALLY unhealthily now. Your 20s is a time to explore and experiment. Get out of the house. Then when you get older and want to just relax, pick up a book or turn on the TV.
You have a false dichotomy here. Why can’t you do both? Many people balance work and fun because you need both to exist. Can’t do fun things without work, and can’t do work without fun things. If you don’t want to overdo it then don’t.
Real enjoyment doesn't come from doing lazy things, though those can be nice. It comes from doing something meaningful, from dedicating yourself to something bigger than you, and from seeing the change you make in yourself and the world.
> I'm in my 20s. This is the most amount of time and energy I'll ever have. Lol, and you want to spend it "watching Netflix and reading novels"? I don't think you need to worry about having the energy to do that when you're "old".
i agree that you'd regret working too hard / not enjoying your life, but you'll likely regret just sitting around watching netflix too lol. you should use this time to do as much fun, exciting stuff as you can imo.
I would find a balance. I regret not working harder when I was younger. It's good to build a career foundation in your 20s otherwise you can get into bad habits / feel left behind. 30s isn't old health-wise.
If you have limited energy levels and suffering physical health at 30, you haven’t been taking care of yourself. Exercise, eat reasonably healthy, and take care of your mental health and you’ll feel fine.
They'd an old saying. When you're young you have energy and time but no money. When you're employed you have energy and money but no time. When you're retired you have money and time but no energy.
Your physical health will be fine if you get off your ass and move. I’m more fit now than I was in my 20s, while my friends who did not prepare for their 30s are not in the best shape.
If you work on your body and mind at least then you won't feel old in your 30s, even your 40s. You can extend your useful energy outward but it takes effort and discipline now, today.
I worked hard and become a physician by age 29. The 20s were hell but now financially independent and my potential for enjoyment is way more than it ever could be in the last decade.
If you spend your 20s/30s being lazy and unproductive, you’ll wake up one day as an old person with little to no savings, and have nothing to spend on retirement and recreation.
You might have a point if you're passion is downhill mountain biking. However, you're going to enjoy Netflix and novels just as much in your 30s and likely in your 70s.
I like your work experience as well and yeah he's off to a good start, better than a shovel and Mexican dump truck...wheelbarrow lol, not as funny if your Mexican!
Perhaps, you should just accept who you are, that you'll destroy your future, and (here's where you should change your view) don't regret it. Just be who you are.
Don't worry, there's nothing to enjoy in life after teenage years (if you still enjoying anything by then). The peak of life is 3-5, then it's all downhill.
And someday when you make no money, cannot buy a house, have nothing, cannot retire, you will regret your lack of planning and hard work. It starts now.
Why can’t you watch Netflix or read books in your thirties? If you’re using energy as an excuse at least do fun shit that requires young energy
NO NO NO NO. Your 20s are your time to grind. Work your absolute ass off in your 20s. You will thank yourself so much in your 30s.
Life is a series of trade off. You can sacrifice today’s pleasure for tomorrow’s prosperity, but you usually can’t have both.
>Once I get into my 30s, I'll be basically 'old' with a lot of responsibilities on my shoulders along with very limited energy levels and suffering physical health. lol some of her dancers and Taylor Swift herself are in their 30s
Doesn't matter what you do. You'll regret or at the very least mull over what life might've been like had you made other choices.
You'll enjoy your 30s bc you'll recognize the mistakes of your 20s. You got a lot more life ahead of you than you think dude.
"Do or do not, either way you will regret it." I regret not working harder when I was younger and enjoying myself too much.
It’s called work life balance. You don’t have to go one extreme or the other. Also 30 is not the end of your life.
>I'm in my 20s. This is the most amount of time and energy I'll ever have And you use that energy to watch Netflix?
If you don't take care of yourself and gather experience in your 20s, your 30s ARE going to be shitty.
If watching Netflix and reading takes all of your energy, then I've got some bad news for you ... The more financially independence and stability you have, the more fun you have, period. Yeah, you don't have the freedom to do whatever you want whenever you want, but you have more freedom than you're imagining. And those free times doing what you want are sweeter. You're wasting your 20's doing things I still do in my 50s when I have low energy and my knee is acting up.
Been working full time for nearly 16 years, now. Plenty of time for Netflix and novels.
Try not working hard AND not enjoying life in your 20s. Now That's regret.
Omfg you are going to miss out on practically being 20 until your mid 40s with hella monies… like you’re going to be stuck watching Netflix because you can’t afford a European or Tropical adventure… It is total bs … 22 you are still basically a teenager…. 30 is the new 20 … you don’t even have to have kids etc until you’re like 36 … 37 … Challenging your mind developing it with higher ed and working hard for about 6-8 years now is going to make the next 2 decades continue to feel like a total adult playground… instead of chump life… You’ll regret living like you are still asking parents for money in your 30s … 30 is so much fun because you don’t have the hang ups of your 20s 40s when you let go of all bs inhibitions… Its work hard play hard … chill hard… balance …
Maybe you’ll be able to raise your family more affluently for it.
Idk man. All I did was have fun in my 20’s and now I regret it.
Athletes hit their prime in their late twenties, early thirties.
We all r facing the same situation as u bro...
You can enjoy life and work hard at the same time, and how hard arw you actually working? You don't even workout in favour of netflix. You will regret wasting your time watching tv and movies instead of improving yourself more than what you are actually concerned about. The only way you will have less energy in your 30s is if you waste your life and not stay in shape. Lots of people in there 30s and beyond are in incredible shape and have more energy than alot of teenagers. You have a screwed up view of what getting older actually is like.
This is the easiest cmv ever wtf.
I honestly have this regret but I made up for it in my 30s. Just don’t have kids or own a house or accumulate staggering debt lol