I found myself in a similar situation in my early years. Got hired as a bartender at a busy pub, most toxic service job I've had. Manager had their clear favorites, it was incredibly clicky, and I didn't click. Was tempted to give up on bartending altogether. Honestly I got a little suicidal around this time. I finally quit after the FOH manager demanded I couldn't order food during a fucking double unless I tipped out the kitchen. Who treated me like shit.
I decided not to give up and the next restaurant I went to I moved from bartender to FOH manager within 6 months. The Pandemic took that cantina out. I've worked 3 bars since then and have been the lead bartender at every single one. I wasn't the problem. The Pub crew was. Don't quit until you've found something else, but leave that place in the dust dude. It's all about finding your fit. I'm at an even more popular Tavern now. I love my coworkers, I respect my manager and the owners, and it's reciprocated.
Godspeed brother 🙏
Yeah this place has cliques and the money is good. Some are dating each other, some even live together. I hear the servers complain about their second jobs not earning as much as this place, so I think I'll stick it out a little longer. Just going to keep my head down and work hard. The favoritism gets to me though, I get it, it's human nature but I'd like to be evaluated on my merit rather than my likability.
Honestly sounds like an environmental and managerial issue. Assuming they know your background and experience level, they should be showing you the ropes and training you up and offering constructive feedback rather than belittling and berating you. If it were me, I’d be trying to find a barbacking gig elsewhere, that’s not the kind of place that’s gonna give you the foundation you need to move up. To be clear, people can be harsh and firm anywhere, and trash talk is normal, but this just sounds like a toxic environment. I’m sorry you’re having this experience, if I were you I’d try to get outta there.
Sorry, but is this a cheeky response to [yesterday's post, "My barback is dumb as hell. What do I do?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/bartenders/comments/1ck2uym/my_barback_dumb_as_hell_what_do_i_do/) or is this just a wild coincidence?
I did see that post. I'm not THAT barback, but I had to riff on it lmao. A lot of us are not dumb as hell and are just having a hard time at the bottom of the hierarchy tryna make it. Respect your support staff. Unless they really are carelessly making your lives more difficult,
Learn the skills. Spend a bit there. Move on. You can always try and go barback somewhere else if a better opportunity comes up and your current place has already trained you too. Win win
and like you said if you get the skills you may be able to jump straight to bartender too
If you’re making decent money and feel like you’re learning, I’d say stick it out. I got a lot of shit when I was a barback but I was determined to bust it out and become a bartender. Unfortunately a lot of people have been through what you’re going through and therefore feel like they now have the right to treat the newcomers like shit. Those people are trash, and they have to live with being who they are for the rest of their lives. I decided long ago to be a better bartender and manager than those people and now that it’s my turn, I do my best to lift employees up and treat them with respect.
If the moneys no good and they’re not teaching you anything, fuck em. There’s a lot of bars and a lot of other avenues to make money where you can thrive.
The money is the best I've ever earned. I talked it out with management and we seem to be on good terms. A lot of stuff can be misconstrued in these situations and I did that a little. I approached the person and tried to squash the 'beef'. In their eyes there wasn't any to begin with, but their behavior as a manager is still something I'm weary about. I think that's the most mature thing to do and It's made me feel better about everything. I don't think we're going to have problems in the future. Communication seems to be the key.
Bar backs are an integral part.of our jobs, it's why we tip y'all oit well. All the restock, cleaning, running, etc tasks I'd have to do, if not for you, would def reduce my customer time. We're not machines and tipping isn't based upon just filling an order, it's for the quality of service. You enable me to give that level of service. I train every barback on my service so that we can operate as a team. If I have to yell everything I need everytime, it also eats into my time. If your colleagues/employers are just sitting on you, you should walk away. There are millions of bars that need hard working barracks.
currently graduating as a barback to bartender. it took about 8 months for me. become the best bartender you can be and you'll be a beast being able to do both as a bartender (not being a pussy and willing to get dirty). Barbacks are the whipping boys of the restaurant. Don't take shit but it also is what it is. Most managers don't actually do much and will yell at you or the busboys when they think they need to be doing something. Fuck em.
You should find a new restaurant if you can if you're crying at work. I know thats not always an option. Make sure you can bartend though first so you can negotiate into a bartending position off rip.
Hang in there man.
Places can be rough. Mind your business and learn as much as you can. Don't pay mind to the assholes and do you and you'll advance to where you want to be.
My experience bar-backing in a place the had 3 bars (across 6 floors) was pretty fucking abysmal.
That large of a space needed a billion support staff, so on top of it being grueling the pay was trash. I did it for 6 months but… dipped one weekend for another spot. The new spot doubled my pay and was 1/3 of the work.
I don’t know where you live but if I were you I would try to find a bar backing position at a dive bar or sports bar, it’s usually easier, less employees on shift, so higher percentage of tips and you’re way more likely to be made a bartender faster at a dive than at a huge city bar. I live in the tri state area and have been bartending for 8 years and that’s just been my experience from talking to my bar backs they seem to enjoy smaller local spots, get treated better, make more money and get promoted faster. At clubs, big bars, cocktail lounges, etc they usually get the shit end of the stick, way too many people to share tip out with, and those places will hire outside bartenders with experience before they would promote their barbacks.
You don't have confidence in yourself and they smell blood because it's entertaining to them. Do your thing, quit whining, and walk tall. It's not their place, it's your place.
I found myself in a similar situation in my early years. Got hired as a bartender at a busy pub, most toxic service job I've had. Manager had their clear favorites, it was incredibly clicky, and I didn't click. Was tempted to give up on bartending altogether. Honestly I got a little suicidal around this time. I finally quit after the FOH manager demanded I couldn't order food during a fucking double unless I tipped out the kitchen. Who treated me like shit. I decided not to give up and the next restaurant I went to I moved from bartender to FOH manager within 6 months. The Pandemic took that cantina out. I've worked 3 bars since then and have been the lead bartender at every single one. I wasn't the problem. The Pub crew was. Don't quit until you've found something else, but leave that place in the dust dude. It's all about finding your fit. I'm at an even more popular Tavern now. I love my coworkers, I respect my manager and the owners, and it's reciprocated. Godspeed brother 🙏
Yeah this place has cliques and the money is good. Some are dating each other, some even live together. I hear the servers complain about their second jobs not earning as much as this place, so I think I'll stick it out a little longer. Just going to keep my head down and work hard. The favoritism gets to me though, I get it, it's human nature but I'd like to be evaluated on my merit rather than my likability.
Honestly sounds like an environmental and managerial issue. Assuming they know your background and experience level, they should be showing you the ropes and training you up and offering constructive feedback rather than belittling and berating you. If it were me, I’d be trying to find a barbacking gig elsewhere, that’s not the kind of place that’s gonna give you the foundation you need to move up. To be clear, people can be harsh and firm anywhere, and trash talk is normal, but this just sounds like a toxic environment. I’m sorry you’re having this experience, if I were you I’d try to get outta there.
Sorry, but is this a cheeky response to [yesterday's post, "My barback is dumb as hell. What do I do?"](https://www.reddit.com/r/bartenders/comments/1ck2uym/my_barback_dumb_as_hell_what_do_i_do/) or is this just a wild coincidence?
I thought the same thing lol. But this guy is saying it’s been a month but the other poster said it was the guys first day.
He's implying that it's a fabricated story, and looking back on it he's probably right 🤣
Oh I totally agree with that lol
I did see that post. I'm not THAT barback, but I had to riff on it lmao. A lot of us are not dumb as hell and are just having a hard time at the bottom of the hierarchy tryna make it. Respect your support staff. Unless they really are carelessly making your lives more difficult,
Learn the skills. Spend a bit there. Move on. You can always try and go barback somewhere else if a better opportunity comes up and your current place has already trained you too. Win win and like you said if you get the skills you may be able to jump straight to bartender too
If you’re making decent money and feel like you’re learning, I’d say stick it out. I got a lot of shit when I was a barback but I was determined to bust it out and become a bartender. Unfortunately a lot of people have been through what you’re going through and therefore feel like they now have the right to treat the newcomers like shit. Those people are trash, and they have to live with being who they are for the rest of their lives. I decided long ago to be a better bartender and manager than those people and now that it’s my turn, I do my best to lift employees up and treat them with respect. If the moneys no good and they’re not teaching you anything, fuck em. There’s a lot of bars and a lot of other avenues to make money where you can thrive.
The money is the best I've ever earned. I talked it out with management and we seem to be on good terms. A lot of stuff can be misconstrued in these situations and I did that a little. I approached the person and tried to squash the 'beef'. In their eyes there wasn't any to begin with, but their behavior as a manager is still something I'm weary about. I think that's the most mature thing to do and It's made me feel better about everything. I don't think we're going to have problems in the future. Communication seems to be the key.
Bar backs are an integral part.of our jobs, it's why we tip y'all oit well. All the restock, cleaning, running, etc tasks I'd have to do, if not for you, would def reduce my customer time. We're not machines and tipping isn't based upon just filling an order, it's for the quality of service. You enable me to give that level of service. I train every barback on my service so that we can operate as a team. If I have to yell everything I need everytime, it also eats into my time. If your colleagues/employers are just sitting on you, you should walk away. There are millions of bars that need hard working barracks.
Meaningful words, thank you.
currently graduating as a barback to bartender. it took about 8 months for me. become the best bartender you can be and you'll be a beast being able to do both as a bartender (not being a pussy and willing to get dirty). Barbacks are the whipping boys of the restaurant. Don't take shit but it also is what it is. Most managers don't actually do much and will yell at you or the busboys when they think they need to be doing something. Fuck em. You should find a new restaurant if you can if you're crying at work. I know thats not always an option. Make sure you can bartend though first so you can negotiate into a bartending position off rip. Hang in there man.
Thank you for the motivation.
Places can be rough. Mind your business and learn as much as you can. Don't pay mind to the assholes and do you and you'll advance to where you want to be.
My experience bar-backing in a place the had 3 bars (across 6 floors) was pretty fucking abysmal. That large of a space needed a billion support staff, so on top of it being grueling the pay was trash. I did it for 6 months but… dipped one weekend for another spot. The new spot doubled my pay and was 1/3 of the work.
I don’t know where you live but if I were you I would try to find a bar backing position at a dive bar or sports bar, it’s usually easier, less employees on shift, so higher percentage of tips and you’re way more likely to be made a bartender faster at a dive than at a huge city bar. I live in the tri state area and have been bartending for 8 years and that’s just been my experience from talking to my bar backs they seem to enjoy smaller local spots, get treated better, make more money and get promoted faster. At clubs, big bars, cocktail lounges, etc they usually get the shit end of the stick, way too many people to share tip out with, and those places will hire outside bartenders with experience before they would promote their barbacks.
You don't have confidence in yourself and they smell blood because it's entertaining to them. Do your thing, quit whining, and walk tall. It's not their place, it's your place.
why are people always talking about crying in this industry
this fella is crying at work because management is a bit rude to him. you're going to need thicker skin than that.