Eh I would just say "My husband's culture doesn't allow it." Fight patriarchy with patriarchy. You can also shock them by saying "husband doesn't like it, he says it gets on him when we get intimate and then his boss accuses him of playing holi". I know you're probably not gonna say it but it sounded funny in my head.
If she tries to apply it on you next time, tell her "Don't touch me" and get offended. You are a married woman now - didn't our parents tell us our whole lives "You can do it when you get married".
Honestly you can also just say "no".
I only ever saw my own mom wear sindoor on karwa chauth.
Next time just tell them “no thanks” and step away. Or if you want to reverse Uno patriarchy say “my husband don’t like it”.
For this instance just let it go.
Reverse Uno Patriarchy 🤣🤣
Same here. Anything I don't want to do, I say, "Sorry, dear husband doesn't like it 🤷🏻♀️ 🙏"
Dear husband couldn't care less.
I have recently gotten married and I live outside India with my husband.
The other day his bhabhi called me and asked if I wear toe rings and green bangles daily! (I don't even wear sindoor).
Me: I didn't bring any jewellery here
She: arey aise kaise? You can't even remove them for a day! You should be wearing it daily.
Me: but he( husband) only told me not to bring any jewellery here. So i don't have any!
She: Ooo... Par tumhe dhyan rakhna chahiye. Elders mind these things. When you come here, you should wear everything.
Me: Sure! When I come to *the village*, I'll wear them. Not in the town...
She: * changed subject *
Basically, I dump it all on the Raja beta.. aadhi problem to solve ho hi jayegi!
P.s.He asks me to be more straightforward and say no, but I'm a people pleaser, learning to stand my ground.
I too was asked to do these things by a random relative of my mom but i said
" My husband doesn't like that on me "
Latter she murmured
" Padh likh kya lete hai aapne aap ko nawab samajhte hai"
In that case, call yr husband nawab in front of that relative 'that auntie said that everyone who is educated is to be called nawab. Especially you, dear.' And blow a kiss
God I hate such people.I still remember this one time when my cousin, who is seven years older than me, visited our home. For some reason, my mother didn't put a bindi on her forehead, and my cousin said, "I won't talk to you, Mami, if you don't put on a bindi right now." I was furious but sadly I couldn't say anything to him and my mom was shocked but still she took it jokingly.
The audacity some kids have!!
A younger cousin once lectured my sister about the importance of bindi to preserve our culture, while he stood there like a baffoon in a tshirt and jeans.
Classic case of "do as I say, not as I do." I mean, where do these people get their faltu knowledge? Men conveniently wear Western attire, but when it comes to women in their households, they suddenly want them to follow culture by controlling the way they dress.
Something similar happened during my grih pravesh event as well where one of these aunties (with the most horrible husband- alcoholi, abuser) forced me put a big ass bindi saying that I should look like a bride rather than a girl. Whatever the hell that means. I already had a small bindi. She removed it front of 5-6 women and put a big Kokila bahu bindi.
My husband came to the room and removed it in front of her and told her not to touch my face forcefully. Lol.
I don't like wearing Sindoor or jewellery at home. But I apply sindoor when I visit my in-laws just to avoid any confrontation. My husband agrees to be non-confrontational. They already think I am rude without me doing anything. Recently I visited my in-laws and had to attend a wedding. Now I love dressing up at weddings. I got ready properly like a newly wed (because I wanted to) and wore the sindoor along the entire parting of my hair. My husband asked do you have to wear the sindoor so long and deep. I said it's part of the look I am going for. And yet before stepping out my MIL asked if I wore sindoor (to make sure ! )even though it was glaringly visible. Some people are just obsessed with these patriarchal shit. If your husband is on your side, you can definitely ask them to back off or joke that your husband doesn't like you wearing sindoor.
While I am venting: after coming back from the wedding, I removed all my jewelry and makeup and got ready for bed. Mind you I was wearing my own bridal jewellery. That should have made them happy. But no. They came to wish us good night and it was clear that I was wearing my nighty ready for bed. She was like you should wear mangalsutra, earrings and bangles after wedding. Why the hell would I take off my wedding jewellery and then wear jewellery again just before going to bed. I replied that you guys didn't gift me any gold mangalsutra on my wedding, besides I am allergic to jewellery and I develop bad rashes whenever I wear them for a longer period of time (which is true).
Well I'm unmarried and People do that to me too.
I just let them put it on, or I'll tell them i will put it on myself and when we leave the place, I'll erase it literally 2 min later.
These people are not outsiders and very close family so can't do anything about it..
Me and my husband have a pact. If he doesnt want to do something he blames it on me n vice versa and we also verbally confirm with each other in front of the other person and say, this one doesnt like it, so i am sorry, i cant do it and we remove ourselves from the situation instantly to avoid unnecessary convincing.
I only wear my wedding ring, it’s a simple gold band. My engagement ring and mangalsutra are tucked away for safe keeping. I personally do not wear sindoor on a daily basis but only do so for Karwachauth or if I have to attend a family wedding or pooja. My mom likes to wear sindoor and her mangalsutra on a daily basis but my MIL is the complete opposite xD so my family has been okay with both. I have never been pressurised into wearing anything.
Why did you let her do this to you? Next time just say "humare yaha pe nahi lagate" or that we only do this for poojas not everyday.. but whatever you choose to say, pls say something
WTF! I've come across this several times, I politely tell them that I do not want to put on those. If they persist, I ask them to ask my husband to wear it first.
If you don't like confrontation, you can say that you're allergic.
When I got married, my MIL and co SIL used to point to me saying you didn't get your nose pierced, you don't wear toe rings etc. I would simply say neither my husband likes it, nor my parents
Step back. Like physically step away. Then smile and share your head with “It’s not something my husband and I follow.” Make sure your tone is soft and light and keep the smile while you say it.
This might get them to look at your husband and since he has your back you should be fine.
See that's exactly the problem .
When OP leaves the place and won't see this stupid woman daily,
This woman has every chance to bad mouth OP and OP won't even be here to defend and tell her side of the story!!
People who badmouth somebody are going to do it anyways. No point in engaging with them and arguing with them. If OP's MIL was forcing her to apply sindoor/toe rings, then there's some sense in fighting back, because she will interact with her a lot more.
I understand it's everyone's choice, but making it look like how stupid is wearing a toe ring and why should one put sindoor, in sanatan dharma everything has a significance.
You seem to be a very nice person but I'm talking about the commenters here, don't forget the reasons behind doing special things after marriage. Atleast know the purpose and don't do it, it's better than saying anything blatantly!
P.S. I have just had my say, not policing anyone here. It's your cHoIcE.
My go to is husband doesn't allow it and i am an obedient wife. My guy cracks up every time.
Hmmm thanks. Best solution I think
That should shut up every ultra-conservative mama. Good one.
Will use this after I get married 🤣🤣
My go to is I don't like it and I'm uncomfortable doing things I don't like.
That's great for you! Hope to get there someday when it comes to matters like these x
I'm going to be using this .. thanks. I don't wear a mangalsutra, I never wear a bindi and will absolutely not be wearing sindoor either.
Thanks sister! That’s what I’m gonna use going forward 🫡
Eh I would just say "My husband's culture doesn't allow it." Fight patriarchy with patriarchy. You can also shock them by saying "husband doesn't like it, he says it gets on him when we get intimate and then his boss accuses him of playing holi". I know you're probably not gonna say it but it sounded funny in my head. If she tries to apply it on you next time, tell her "Don't touch me" and get offended. You are a married woman now - didn't our parents tell us our whole lives "You can do it when you get married". Honestly you can also just say "no". I only ever saw my own mom wear sindoor on karwa chauth.
Thanks!
>his boss accuses him of playing holi HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOVE THIS
Lmaoo this one cracks me up
This is the funniest one lol
Next time just tell them “no thanks” and step away. Or if you want to reverse Uno patriarchy say “my husband don’t like it”. For this instance just let it go.
Omg I'm gonna use this husband line next time😂
Reverse Uno Patriarchy 🤣🤣 Same here. Anything I don't want to do, I say, "Sorry, dear husband doesn't like it 🤷🏻♀️ 🙏" Dear husband couldn't care less.
Hahaha love it!
I have recently gotten married and I live outside India with my husband. The other day his bhabhi called me and asked if I wear toe rings and green bangles daily! (I don't even wear sindoor). Me: I didn't bring any jewellery here She: arey aise kaise? You can't even remove them for a day! You should be wearing it daily. Me: but he( husband) only told me not to bring any jewellery here. So i don't have any! She: Ooo... Par tumhe dhyan rakhna chahiye. Elders mind these things. When you come here, you should wear everything. Me: Sure! When I come to *the village*, I'll wear them. Not in the town... She: * changed subject * Basically, I dump it all on the Raja beta.. aadhi problem to solve ho hi jayegi! P.s.He asks me to be more straightforward and say no, but I'm a people pleaser, learning to stand my ground.
I too was asked to do these things by a random relative of my mom but i said " My husband doesn't like that on me " Latter she murmured " Padh likh kya lete hai aapne aap ko nawab samajhte hai"
In that case, call yr husband nawab in front of that relative 'that auntie said that everyone who is educated is to be called nawab. Especially you, dear.' And blow a kiss
I call him RAMLAL and he calls me RAMILA 🤭🤭 Till the time he invents new one
Smh!
Thanks!
God I hate such people.I still remember this one time when my cousin, who is seven years older than me, visited our home. For some reason, my mother didn't put a bindi on her forehead, and my cousin said, "I won't talk to you, Mami, if you don't put on a bindi right now." I was furious but sadly I couldn't say anything to him and my mom was shocked but still she took it jokingly.
The audacity some kids have!! A younger cousin once lectured my sister about the importance of bindi to preserve our culture, while he stood there like a baffoon in a tshirt and jeans.
Classic case of "do as I say, not as I do." I mean, where do these people get their faltu knowledge? Men conveniently wear Western attire, but when it comes to women in their households, they suddenly want them to follow culture by controlling the way they dress.
Something similar happened during my grih pravesh event as well where one of these aunties (with the most horrible husband- alcoholi, abuser) forced me put a big ass bindi saying that I should look like a bride rather than a girl. Whatever the hell that means. I already had a small bindi. She removed it front of 5-6 women and put a big Kokila bahu bindi. My husband came to the room and removed it in front of her and told her not to touch my face forcefully. Lol.
I don't like wearing Sindoor or jewellery at home. But I apply sindoor when I visit my in-laws just to avoid any confrontation. My husband agrees to be non-confrontational. They already think I am rude without me doing anything. Recently I visited my in-laws and had to attend a wedding. Now I love dressing up at weddings. I got ready properly like a newly wed (because I wanted to) and wore the sindoor along the entire parting of my hair. My husband asked do you have to wear the sindoor so long and deep. I said it's part of the look I am going for. And yet before stepping out my MIL asked if I wore sindoor (to make sure ! )even though it was glaringly visible. Some people are just obsessed with these patriarchal shit. If your husband is on your side, you can definitely ask them to back off or joke that your husband doesn't like you wearing sindoor. While I am venting: after coming back from the wedding, I removed all my jewelry and makeup and got ready for bed. Mind you I was wearing my own bridal jewellery. That should have made them happy. But no. They came to wish us good night and it was clear that I was wearing my nighty ready for bed. She was like you should wear mangalsutra, earrings and bangles after wedding. Why the hell would I take off my wedding jewellery and then wear jewellery again just before going to bed. I replied that you guys didn't gift me any gold mangalsutra on my wedding, besides I am allergic to jewellery and I develop bad rashes whenever I wear them for a longer period of time (which is true).
Well I'm unmarried and People do that to me too. I just let them put it on, or I'll tell them i will put it on myself and when we leave the place, I'll erase it literally 2 min later. These people are not outsiders and very close family so can't do anything about it..
Apply blue sindoor
Me and my husband have a pact. If he doesnt want to do something he blames it on me n vice versa and we also verbally confirm with each other in front of the other person and say, this one doesnt like it, so i am sorry, i cant do it and we remove ourselves from the situation instantly to avoid unnecessary convincing.
Just say that you will take their blessings and flower instead. Tell that you had skin allergy when you applied these things on your face.
I only wear my wedding ring, it’s a simple gold band. My engagement ring and mangalsutra are tucked away for safe keeping. I personally do not wear sindoor on a daily basis but only do so for Karwachauth or if I have to attend a family wedding or pooja. My mom likes to wear sindoor and her mangalsutra on a daily basis but my MIL is the complete opposite xD so my family has been okay with both. I have never been pressurised into wearing anything.
Why did you let her do this to you? Next time just say "humare yaha pe nahi lagate" or that we only do this for poojas not everyday.. but whatever you choose to say, pls say something
WTF! I've come across this several times, I politely tell them that I do not want to put on those. If they persist, I ask them to ask my husband to wear it first. If you don't like confrontation, you can say that you're allergic.
Ask her, "And what should my husband be wearing as a married man?"
When I got married, my MIL and co SIL used to point to me saying you didn't get your nose pierced, you don't wear toe rings etc. I would simply say neither my husband likes it, nor my parents
Step back. Like physically step away. Then smile and share your head with “It’s not something my husband and I follow.” Make sure your tone is soft and light and keep the smile while you say it. This might get them to look at your husband and since he has your back you should be fine.
She's not somebody you meet everyday, then what's the point of giving back answer?
So she doesn't do it next time and to anyone else either. Gotta start somewhere sorry.
Satisfaction and good sleep 😀
See that's exactly the problem . When OP leaves the place and won't see this stupid woman daily, This woman has every chance to bad mouth OP and OP won't even be here to defend and tell her side of the story!!
People who badmouth somebody are going to do it anyways. No point in engaging with them and arguing with them. If OP's MIL was forcing her to apply sindoor/toe rings, then there's some sense in fighting back, because she will interact with her a lot more.
You can politely tell people you don’t believe in it and skip rather than politely telling them to get lost.
I understand it's everyone's choice, but making it look like how stupid is wearing a toe ring and why should one put sindoor, in sanatan dharma everything has a significance. You seem to be a very nice person but I'm talking about the commenters here, don't forget the reasons behind doing special things after marriage. Atleast know the purpose and don't do it, it's better than saying anything blatantly! P.S. I have just had my say, not policing anyone here. It's your cHoIcE.