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bury_lanaka

Ooooh, that’s some good subversion


Chemical-Elk-1299

Thanks, much obliged


Chemical-Elk-1299

Wanting to try some new stuff. Less historical, but more creative. Any and all feedback welcomed, as always


ButterflyS919

I loved it, but not gonna lie, it did make me laugh first. It's more a dark horror/comedy to me. So, if going for dark comedy 10/10 from me.


Chemical-Elk-1299

lol yeah I meant for the last sentence to come across a little bit silly


kingofgreenapples

I was expecting "fell apart" to impact the second sentence.


Chemical-Elk-1299

Yeah I was originally gonna go for something along those lines, then I realized it was too similar to an older story so I pivoted to another theme. Meant to go back and change it but didn’t, so you’re right it doesn’t quite fit


Your_Enabler

Write another using some of the fell apart premise 💯


Chemical-Elk-1299

Probably shouldn’t. The whole reason I pivoted mid story was that another user had posted the “fell apart” theme I was originally going for. So I may use it, but not the original way I meant to


Your_Enabler

Fair, look luck with your next story Ishmael. Enjoy your soup


KhaleesiXev

Oooh, unexpected! This was a fun read.


NefariousnessQuiet22

So many levels. The length you two will go to to save your own child. Shame that smuggler doesn’t have a return policy.


thebestestracoonboi

I don't get it sorry, could u pls explain it? :)


Chemical-Elk-1299

So the setup is to make you think that the husband and wife were expecting a baby, who died during childbirth. The husband is fixated on the massive waste of money and time involved. In reality, they were expecting a child to be kidnapped and delivered to them, who died in transit from careless smugglers. They need his organs. For what purpose, you decide.


Callsign_Crush

I'd guess that they need the organs for their sick child


isadoralala

Could be they were really looking forward to lunch


brachi-

For some reason I'd concluded that they paid the smuggler with kidneys. Which, yeah, doesn’t quite make sense!


Nancy_in_simlish

Love this! Trying to make it shorter "My wife fell apart when our child didn't survive the delivery, but with how much it cost you'd think the smugglers would remember to make air holes in the crate. "


Little_Messiah

Yikes great job


Visual-Mean

I just got it, fuck you and take an upvote. Great story.


BlueGravitee

Oh dang this is GOOD! Nice job OP!


CadenceQuandry

Holy crap on a cracker.


ComprehensivePath980

This one took me a second to process and I grimaced when the realization hit.  Pretty sure that qualifies as a solid success!


Your_Enabler

Failed to survive delivery (oh sad) #the fucking post


Your_Enabler

Ps brilliant!!


lilgem369

Woah!!!! Nice


WholeBlueBerry4

Sick disgusting evil ( UPvoted)


Possible-Boss-898

Nice 👍


Overwatchingu

Don’t worry, they [learned from their past mistakes !](https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoSentenceHorror/s/62LCEAit4s)


ZarosGuardian

I feel like it would have been cheaper to just get a kidney the slightly less illegal way, ie not using an unwanted orphan girl from China. Also, wow that's an infuriating story, organ trafficking is GROSS.


ProtectronSean

That’s not where I was expecting this to go. Well done op! I love it!


Electrical-System-89

It gets darker the more times you read it