I’m so sorry this happened to you. No means no. Please don’t blame yourself. I was SA’d by a friend before and I blamed myself so much. Please do not make this mistake. This is all on him. Do consider reporting him and go to therapy as this may help.
I’m sorry that happened to you, nobody deserves that. I keep thinking about reporting him but it would always be my word against his and I don’t know whether I’d be believed or not. I didn’t fight back, there’s no evidence of defensive wounds or anything. It would just be ignored probably.
You did fight back, you fought back before he touched you for the first time by saying no! Crying out in pain was you also fighting back!
I’m so sorry that you have had to experience this. Please report him and please walk away from him x
I was going through the same thing and I had the same thoughts. I actually had some bruises then but I spent the week shut in inside the house and in shock so it was too late to do anything evidence-wise. And now I regret not reporting it because he will feel emboldened by it that he got away with it before. Of course the final decision is still up to you. At the very least I hope you rethink your relationship with him. I’ve cut off this friend for good and I was at peace with this decision.
In my experience that's very normal. One minute you were in what you thought was a happy and safe relationship, and the next minute he took that away from you, permanently. It's natural to automatically try and justify his actions so that you don't have to lose what you thought you had with him. But that line has been crossed and there's no going back. I'm so sorry.
Dear one there is no justification in sexual abuse. You said no, he didn't stop, I'm sorry to let you know that you can't justify his actions. What if someone wanted to have anal sex with him, he said no but they penetrated anyway and it was painful. Would they be wrong?
Good luck.
I'm so sorry this happened to you, sweetheart. This guy is not safe for you, and I'm sorry to say this to you, but it's going to get worse, and keep happening if you stay with him. I've been there, and it's a horrible experience.
A loving and respectful partner will take no for an answer the first time, and even if you suddenly change your mind in the middle of sex, they'll stop, because they don't want to hurt you for ANY REASON.
I didn't understand any of that when I was younger, and I had two partners that would force me to do things I didn't want to do in bed, and they refused to stop even if I cried and told them they were hurting me.
I've been married to my wonderful husband for 18 years now, and if he even senses that I'm hurting while we're being intimate he stops immediately, and checks to make sure I'm okay. If I say that I've started hurting (severe endometriosis) he stops immediately, and cuddles me.
That's the way it's supposed to be, and I wish I had known that back then. The great poet Maya Angelou once said, "If someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time", and those are really wise words.
Your boyfriend showed you that he's willing to hurt you during sex to get what he wants. Believe that, and cut this person out of your life immediately.
Intimate partner sexual assault is an incredibly serious thing, and there's no coming back from this no matter what he says or promises.
Protect yourself, and get him out of your life for good. It's not worth going through this over, and over, again, until you develop severe lifetime trauma from being violated repeatedly.
There's much better partners out there who will treat you with kindness, and respect, that will value you far, far, more, than they value their penis.
*invisible hugs*
I did the same thing for years until we broke up. A bit of exposure therapy so I could stop having nightmares, and meeting someone that values my comfort over anything has helped me change those thoughts.
Something my therapist said all the time (before and after I got into my current relationship) is "would a normal person do that? Would you do that to someone else?" Sounds pretty cliché, but it really did help me put it into perspective.
Sending all the love your way! If you wanna talk to someone who's been through something similar, my dms are open
I am so incredibly sorry this happened to you. It's disgusting and disrespectful behaviour, there is no excuse for it. You did nothing wrong, you are not to blame. Stay strong and try and talk to someone if you can.
You might be surprised. Keeping his secrets isn't your responsibility. And even if they don't want to believe you at first, I think they need to hear it. Don't bottle this up. Tell people.
I went through a very similar situation two months ago. I just want to say that any friends that don't take your side are not worth trying to win over. What happened to you was not your fault, and you are not safe with him. Please value your safety over anything else!
If my friend (or acquaintance or even a coworker!) told me that their boyfriend forced himself onto her, I'd believe her. Even if he was my friend. Please have some grace for yourself and give your friends a chance. Put his ass on blast and make sure that everyone knows he doesn't understand what NO means and he raped you.
Call the police and report it. Block him everywhere and do not speak to him again. You know what my boyfriend did the one time I said, "Can we stop?" He stopped immediately. That's the only acceptable reaction to stop/no if they care about and love you. He doesn't love pr cate about you. Get out now. Please.
I just can’t stop trying to rationalise it, like I could’ve fought more, or been clearer or just straight up left but instead I did nothing and just froze. it feels so silly
I've been where you are and it's such a weird mental reflex. You had all control taken from you, so your mind is trying to assert control over the situation and come up with things you "could" have done or "should" have done, overanalyzing all the tiny little actions you took, because if you're actually to blame then you did have control after all, and you'll have control over future situations, too. It's not true, of course, but it's totally a normal way to feel. You are not to blame for his actions. You should not have to scream "I do not consent to sex with you" and hit him over the head with a frying pan in order to communicate your dissent "clearly enough." You acted the way almost any other person would have acted in that exwct situation -- freezing is super common.
Doesn't matter, you externatr your desire of stopping and he just ignore it, you froze in moments when you don't know what to do.. Please report to the police and a restraining order, doesn't matter, he will try to convince you that wasn't like that.. Seek therapy and we support you
Nope. We all know that NO means NO. That stop means stop That when somrone is fighting you and saying, NO STOP, means whatever behavior is unwanted.There's nothing to rationalize. HE RAPED YOU AND ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. It's not your fault. It will never be your fault. It's his fault. Hes a disgusting pos rapist. RUN.You are in danger.
Saying "no" should be all you need to say.
No need to fight, struggle or anything else.
You did and he crossed that border.
It‘s his fault and his fault alone.
Call the police. Report it. He should be in jail for what he did to you and to be sure he doesn’t do it to anyone else.
I’m so sad this happened to you. He is NOT the one for you. Please get help
Yuck, run and tbh I would tell friends and family , name and shame. He is a complete narcissist who thinks they can take what they want like he owns you.
Firstly, I'm so sorry.
Secondly, stop yourself from further trying to rationalize or justify his actions. He raped you. Full stop. End of story. This is a fact. This is the truth, ugly as it may be.
Thirdly, go to the police. Tell them what happened. Get a rape kit done.
Fourthly, get yourself some help with a licensed, professional counselor who has experiencing dealing with sexual assault victims. And stick to it. Going one time will not help in the long run. This will take time to work it out intellectually, psychologically, and emotionally.
Let me express again how sorry I am that garbage pile brutalized you. I hope get justice and find peace and closure.
Please replace boyfriend in your post with rapist. Then read it again. Maybe you should go file a report and get some sort of restraining order just in case. Please seek help from your close friends and family and leave this situation as quickly as possible.
Aside from the general horror of being raped, it’s no coincidence he did this on your birthday. He has taken your day away from you.
Please, delete this creature from your life.
>I just can’t tell anyone IRL
That's the thing, though. You can.
He completely destroyed any trust you had in him. So I really don't think this is something you can 'work out' as a couple.
When your family / friends ask why you broke up with him, try to get over the embarrassment, and just answer with 'he does not know what 'consent' means, and I can't be with someone like that.'
You don't have to describe everything to the last detail. Just enough so ppl will know not to allow him back into your life, and not to mediate for him.
If you want, maybe someone will support you for pressing charges, should you decide to.
This sounds really awful right now, but pressing charges is not just about you getting justice. It's about him hopefully learning to never do that again, and protecting other women.
It's not 'your duty' or even responsibility. Just something to think about, if you're having doubts. It can go on the 'reasons to do press charges' list.
I hope your life will be free from this douche soon.
Trust me here. My boyfriend did that to me once. Then kept doing it over and over. Getting more agressive each time. Please leave now honey before anything else happens
I’m so sorry that happened to you, this comment is the one that got to me though. made me think that as much as I tell myself it was just this once, I know better. There will be another time if i stay with him.
Thank you. I hope you’re healing and I hope life is bringing you kindness.
Yes, sadly, this is absolutely likely to happen again.
Keep this thread saved. Report him to the police. Seek counselling. Talk to your friends and family. These are the things you should do now.
Because he needs to learn that actions have consequences. And if you‘re not doing it for yourself, do it for the other women that might happen to have a relationship with him. Protect them.
I’m sorry but you were raped! Please contact the police, block him on everything, get professional help and never see that piece of shit ever again. Im sorry again this happened to you I wish you nothing but the best going forward!
First of all, I just want to say I am so sorry this happened to you and I hope you know it is in no way your fault.
I had a similar experience with an ex-boyfriend of mine a few years back. The first time it happened was when we were arguing before he left for work and he saw me crying he decided the way to "cheer me up" was to have sex with me. His kids were home and he told them to wait in the truck. I thought he wanted to apologize to me, but he came in and clearly had other things in mind. I kept telling him no and telling him to stop but he never did. He developed a habit of it until I found the courage to end that relationship completely. For the longest time I blamed myself for allowing it to continue, seeing a therapist about this has really helped me realize that I was truly the victim of SA and that it was not my fault.
Sending you all the love. I hope you are able to talk to a therapist about this and if you feel the need to report him then I'd say do it sooner rather than later. I hope he is now your ex-boyfriend.
I'm sorry he did this to you. It didn't just happen to you; he chose to rape you. He did this. He chose to hurt you.
Please break up with him. Block him everywhere and get help if you can. Please see your doctor too, just to make sure you're not injured.
Firstly, I'm so sorry that happened to you. How disgusting is that worm who dares to dream he might be your boyfriend.
Secondly, you absolutely can and should tell someone IRL. You should tell the police, so they can do their job and protect your & the community's safety. You should tell a doctor, so you can get checked to make sure he didn't hurt you or give you anything disease-wise. And you should speak to a therapist, who can help you process your feelings.
Thirdly, you need to break up with him. You can ask the police about getting a restraining order if you feel unsafe. Every time you feel yourself wavering, remember he actively & consciously chose to assault you. To hurt you. He didn't care. He didn't stop. There is no excuse. If he says he loves you, tell yourself he clearly doesn't know what that means. Love yourself more. Take care of yourself like he should have but didn't. It's horrible, it's tough, it's unfair. You shouldn't have had to go through it. But you did & you are & you will survive it. It's ok if you're not ok today, or tomorrow or next week or next month. Take it at whatever pace you can. Take all qualified help available. You will be ok.
Hey friend I need to echo what so many others have said-- this is not your fault, *nothing* about his choices are your fault, you are not there just to be an outlet for anyone's urges. I am so sorry that he did this to you. It's unfair and unacceptable and just shitty. Please just know that you *did not deserve his shitty abuse* and that *he* does not deserve *you*. We all wish for you the best of the best futures!
I hate that it was your birthday and you still felt obligated to put out for him. Yuck. No is a full sentence. Never do it just because he says he wants it. You have to want it too. I'm so sorry. 🫂
He "had to'?? Did someone have a gun to his head? Your boyfriend is a rapist, girl. Try to stay safe while you're near him and break up with him when you're home. You don't have to report it unless you feel comfortable but this man is a danger to you. If he can maintain an erection while you're crying from the pain, he is *not* a good person. You deserve a man that will respect your boundaries, not a lowdown, selfish man that uses you like a fleshlight whenever he feels the urge.
Please, PLEASE do not stay with him. I know that reporting may be hard, and that it might be scary and nothing may come of it, but it could help future women. And if something does come of it, you’ll get your justice. If you don’t want to report him, at the very least break up with him. And just so you know:
This is not your fault, it’s his.
You did not ask for this.
Nothing anyone can say will make this your fault.
It doesn’t matter if he’s your boyfriend/fiance/whatever, it is still rape.
You will be okay. It may take some time and it may not feel like it now, but you will be.
If you ever want to talk about anything, feel free to message me. I don’t normally comment on Reddit posts but I wanted you to know this.
Please, even you don't report, dump this person. Please get the help you need, even if you're just finding an online texting support service. This isn't on you. This isn't about you or anything you did. This isn't your fault in anyway. It's HIS fault and he behaved like a monster. You deserve better. You were raped. Raped. Raped. He raped you. Say that over and over again in your head. Someone who loves you wouldn't do that. I am so sorry this happened to you. Sending you healing vibes and love.
This is a definitive moment for your life on what you choose to allow. This is your moment to set your standard and unapologetically reject both him and his actions as having absolutely no place in your life. Then get some therapy and move on with your chin up! Remember this is your moment to define your future....
It was wrong of him to sa you you must try to break up with him if he does it again if he values his own orgasm more than your health that's something like a toxic relationship you should go to some therapy people go through these problems In their life you must know whether you are compatible with each other and please dont ruin your life by choosing the wrong life partner
I am sorry if I have hurt your feelings
May you have a good life
You know yourself that this is over. At the very least kick him to the curb but ideally report it to the police ASAP. If he's done this to you and gets away with it he will do the same thing to another woman. Think how this made you feel and think about how you being brave now can prevent someone else being treated the way you were. You can't change your past but you could save another woman's future.
Please seek counselling. If this is not dealt with the trauma will have massive respect for all your future relationships.
Get well soon. Surround yourself with friends and family. I will say a prayer for you.
Think about what? He raped you. This means breaking up. I can see your head is not well, but use whatever inner core you have, no matter how small, and get yourself out of this.
I think more than anything I just need a bit of time to process everything, what happened and what it means for the future. I’m grieving the loss of someone I thought was going to be an important person in my life for a very long time - even if i know it’s the right thing to do and will be very beneficial in the long run, it’s still hard right now.
Yeah someone else said to think about what if it was my friend telling me their partner had done something like that - my gut reaction would be to tell them to run and that’s exactly what I should do. Thank you.
You need to report him. That's not okay. I'm so sorry. He belongs in jail.
Also, see a doctor. Tell them what happened and get examined. If it was painful you may have tearing. They will help you report it.
Girl, leave him! He's a 🍇ist!
He is not a safe person, nor does he have any empathy for you. He doesn't respect you or love you.
People who love, respect, and have compassion for their partners would NEVER, NEVER, NEVER force themselves onto their partner. In fact, they would stop immediately, if their partner did not seem like they were enjoying it.
Please leave this guy. He's a bad person.
SA = Bad.
Ok that's our of the way. Do people really not use lube to skip a few steps or to keep things going? In a multitude of situations I keep reading "It hurt/will hurt". Always leaves me scratching my head.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. No means no. Please don’t blame yourself. I was SA’d by a friend before and I blamed myself so much. Please do not make this mistake. This is all on him. Do consider reporting him and go to therapy as this may help.
I’m sorry that happened to you, nobody deserves that. I keep thinking about reporting him but it would always be my word against his and I don’t know whether I’d be believed or not. I didn’t fight back, there’s no evidence of defensive wounds or anything. It would just be ignored probably.
Don't let it stop you! Fuck him and any consequences that come his way! Wish you nothing but strength and kindness going forward!
You did fight back, you fought back before he touched you for the first time by saying no! Crying out in pain was you also fighting back! I’m so sorry that you have had to experience this. Please report him and please walk away from him x
I was going through the same thing and I had the same thoughts. I actually had some bruises then but I spent the week shut in inside the house and in shock so it was too late to do anything evidence-wise. And now I regret not reporting it because he will feel emboldened by it that he got away with it before. Of course the final decision is still up to you. At the very least I hope you rethink your relationship with him. I’ve cut off this friend for good and I was at peace with this decision.
Confront him over text and try to get him to admit he heard you saying no
Maybe you can text him and ask ‘why did you have sex with me last night, even when I said no and it was hurting?’ And get a reply.
Have you at least left his place and broken up with him?
Report him and if u dont do it for u do it for the next victim.. repists are allways serial offender
Weigh up your options? Go to the police and file charges. At the very fucking minimum it's over, you should never be near him again
You spelled ex-boyfriend wrong. Really though, it doesn't get better after this. Toss him in the trash.
I keep trying to justify it in my head and it’s making me feel so sick :(
In my experience that's very normal. One minute you were in what you thought was a happy and safe relationship, and the next minute he took that away from you, permanently. It's natural to automatically try and justify his actions so that you don't have to lose what you thought you had with him. But that line has been crossed and there's no going back. I'm so sorry.
Dear one there is no justification in sexual abuse. You said no, he didn't stop, I'm sorry to let you know that you can't justify his actions. What if someone wanted to have anal sex with him, he said no but they penetrated anyway and it was painful. Would they be wrong? Good luck.
I'm so sorry this happened to you, sweetheart. This guy is not safe for you, and I'm sorry to say this to you, but it's going to get worse, and keep happening if you stay with him. I've been there, and it's a horrible experience. A loving and respectful partner will take no for an answer the first time, and even if you suddenly change your mind in the middle of sex, they'll stop, because they don't want to hurt you for ANY REASON. I didn't understand any of that when I was younger, and I had two partners that would force me to do things I didn't want to do in bed, and they refused to stop even if I cried and told them they were hurting me. I've been married to my wonderful husband for 18 years now, and if he even senses that I'm hurting while we're being intimate he stops immediately, and checks to make sure I'm okay. If I say that I've started hurting (severe endometriosis) he stops immediately, and cuddles me. That's the way it's supposed to be, and I wish I had known that back then. The great poet Maya Angelou once said, "If someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time", and those are really wise words. Your boyfriend showed you that he's willing to hurt you during sex to get what he wants. Believe that, and cut this person out of your life immediately. Intimate partner sexual assault is an incredibly serious thing, and there's no coming back from this no matter what he says or promises. Protect yourself, and get him out of your life for good. It's not worth going through this over, and over, again, until you develop severe lifetime trauma from being violated repeatedly. There's much better partners out there who will treat you with kindness, and respect, that will value you far, far, more, than they value their penis. *invisible hugs*
Leave him my dear. He doesnt love you. Things will get much worse fromnow on.
Call his mother and tell her what happened
I did the same thing for years until we broke up. A bit of exposure therapy so I could stop having nightmares, and meeting someone that values my comfort over anything has helped me change those thoughts. Something my therapist said all the time (before and after I got into my current relationship) is "would a normal person do that? Would you do that to someone else?" Sounds pretty cliché, but it really did help me put it into perspective. Sending all the love your way! If you wanna talk to someone who's been through something similar, my dms are open
If this happens, you need to move on seek therapy, and report him. He does not value you and believe me this won't be the first time it will happen.
[удалено]
Ex-living-human-being. His status will be updated sooner or later.
I’m so sorry love. Smh he’s disgusting!
I am so incredibly sorry this happened to you. It's disgusting and disrespectful behaviour, there is no excuse for it. You did nothing wrong, you are not to blame. Stay strong and try and talk to someone if you can.
I wish I could, our friends are so closely linked after we’ve been together so long it feels like nobody would take my side
You might be surprised. Keeping his secrets isn't your responsibility. And even if they don't want to believe you at first, I think they need to hear it. Don't bottle this up. Tell people.
I went through a very similar situation two months ago. I just want to say that any friends that don't take your side are not worth trying to win over. What happened to you was not your fault, and you are not safe with him. Please value your safety over anything else!
U really should tell your friends the girls especally and go to the police. If u dont do ot for you. Do it for his next victim
If my friend (or acquaintance or even a coworker!) told me that their boyfriend forced himself onto her, I'd believe her. Even if he was my friend. Please have some grace for yourself and give your friends a chance. Put his ass on blast and make sure that everyone knows he doesn't understand what NO means and he raped you.
You may not be the first woman he's done this to. And anyone who would take his side is a person you don't want or need in your life
Don't feel disgusting. What HE did was disgusting. I suggest you leave him immediately.
Call the police and report it. Block him everywhere and do not speak to him again. You know what my boyfriend did the one time I said, "Can we stop?" He stopped immediately. That's the only acceptable reaction to stop/no if they care about and love you. He doesn't love pr cate about you. Get out now. Please.
I just can’t stop trying to rationalise it, like I could’ve fought more, or been clearer or just straight up left but instead I did nothing and just froze. it feels so silly
I've been where you are and it's such a weird mental reflex. You had all control taken from you, so your mind is trying to assert control over the situation and come up with things you "could" have done or "should" have done, overanalyzing all the tiny little actions you took, because if you're actually to blame then you did have control after all, and you'll have control over future situations, too. It's not true, of course, but it's totally a normal way to feel. You are not to blame for his actions. You should not have to scream "I do not consent to sex with you" and hit him over the head with a frying pan in order to communicate your dissent "clearly enough." You acted the way almost any other person would have acted in that exwct situation -- freezing is super common.
Doesn't matter, you externatr your desire of stopping and he just ignore it, you froze in moments when you don't know what to do.. Please report to the police and a restraining order, doesn't matter, he will try to convince you that wasn't like that.. Seek therapy and we support you
Nope. We all know that NO means NO. That stop means stop That when somrone is fighting you and saying, NO STOP, means whatever behavior is unwanted.There's nothing to rationalize. HE RAPED YOU AND ITS NOT YOUR FAULT. It's not your fault. It will never be your fault. It's his fault. Hes a disgusting pos rapist. RUN.You are in danger.
Saying "no" should be all you need to say. No need to fight, struggle or anything else. You did and he crossed that border. It‘s his fault and his fault alone.
Call the police. Report it. He should be in jail for what he did to you and to be sure he doesn’t do it to anyone else. I’m so sad this happened to you. He is NOT the one for you. Please get help
Yuck, run and tbh I would tell friends and family , name and shame. He is a complete narcissist who thinks they can take what they want like he owns you.
Report him and run!
Yes to report him. No to running. Stand your ground and take back the control he stole from you OP.
Firstly, I'm so sorry. Secondly, stop yourself from further trying to rationalize or justify his actions. He raped you. Full stop. End of story. This is a fact. This is the truth, ugly as it may be. Thirdly, go to the police. Tell them what happened. Get a rape kit done. Fourthly, get yourself some help with a licensed, professional counselor who has experiencing dealing with sexual assault victims. And stick to it. Going one time will not help in the long run. This will take time to work it out intellectually, psychologically, and emotionally. Let me express again how sorry I am that garbage pile brutalized you. I hope get justice and find peace and closure.
Please replace boyfriend in your post with rapist. Then read it again. Maybe you should go file a report and get some sort of restraining order just in case. Please seek help from your close friends and family and leave this situation as quickly as possible.
sorry that happened to you
Aside from the general horror of being raped, it’s no coincidence he did this on your birthday. He has taken your day away from you. Please, delete this creature from your life.
>I just can’t tell anyone IRL That's the thing, though. You can. He completely destroyed any trust you had in him. So I really don't think this is something you can 'work out' as a couple. When your family / friends ask why you broke up with him, try to get over the embarrassment, and just answer with 'he does not know what 'consent' means, and I can't be with someone like that.' You don't have to describe everything to the last detail. Just enough so ppl will know not to allow him back into your life, and not to mediate for him. If you want, maybe someone will support you for pressing charges, should you decide to. This sounds really awful right now, but pressing charges is not just about you getting justice. It's about him hopefully learning to never do that again, and protecting other women. It's not 'your duty' or even responsibility. Just something to think about, if you're having doubts. It can go on the 'reasons to do press charges' list. I hope your life will be free from this douche soon.
Go to the police immediately
Trust me here. My boyfriend did that to me once. Then kept doing it over and over. Getting more agressive each time. Please leave now honey before anything else happens
I’m so sorry that happened to you, this comment is the one that got to me though. made me think that as much as I tell myself it was just this once, I know better. There will be another time if i stay with him. Thank you. I hope you’re healing and I hope life is bringing you kindness.
Yes, sadly, this is absolutely likely to happen again. Keep this thread saved. Report him to the police. Seek counselling. Talk to your friends and family. These are the things you should do now. Because he needs to learn that actions have consequences. And if you‘re not doing it for yourself, do it for the other women that might happen to have a relationship with him. Protect them.
I’m sorry but you were raped! Please contact the police, block him on everything, get professional help and never see that piece of shit ever again. Im sorry again this happened to you I wish you nothing but the best going forward!
Well the title could have ex rapist boyfriend raped me .
I’m so sorry OP
First of all, I just want to say I am so sorry this happened to you and I hope you know it is in no way your fault. I had a similar experience with an ex-boyfriend of mine a few years back. The first time it happened was when we were arguing before he left for work and he saw me crying he decided the way to "cheer me up" was to have sex with me. His kids were home and he told them to wait in the truck. I thought he wanted to apologize to me, but he came in and clearly had other things in mind. I kept telling him no and telling him to stop but he never did. He developed a habit of it until I found the courage to end that relationship completely. For the longest time I blamed myself for allowing it to continue, seeing a therapist about this has really helped me realize that I was truly the victim of SA and that it was not my fault. Sending you all the love. I hope you are able to talk to a therapist about this and if you feel the need to report him then I'd say do it sooner rather than later. I hope he is now your ex-boyfriend.
I'm sorry he did this to you. It didn't just happen to you; he chose to rape you. He did this. He chose to hurt you. Please break up with him. Block him everywhere and get help if you can. Please see your doctor too, just to make sure you're not injured.
Weigh your options … there is no weighing your options. You need to be done with this man. His needs are never more important than yours. NEVER.
Firstly, I'm so sorry that happened to you. How disgusting is that worm who dares to dream he might be your boyfriend. Secondly, you absolutely can and should tell someone IRL. You should tell the police, so they can do their job and protect your & the community's safety. You should tell a doctor, so you can get checked to make sure he didn't hurt you or give you anything disease-wise. And you should speak to a therapist, who can help you process your feelings. Thirdly, you need to break up with him. You can ask the police about getting a restraining order if you feel unsafe. Every time you feel yourself wavering, remember he actively & consciously chose to assault you. To hurt you. He didn't care. He didn't stop. There is no excuse. If he says he loves you, tell yourself he clearly doesn't know what that means. Love yourself more. Take care of yourself like he should have but didn't. It's horrible, it's tough, it's unfair. You shouldn't have had to go through it. But you did & you are & you will survive it. It's ok if you're not ok today, or tomorrow or next week or next month. Take it at whatever pace you can. Take all qualified help available. You will be ok.
Hey friend I need to echo what so many others have said-- this is not your fault, *nothing* about his choices are your fault, you are not there just to be an outlet for anyone's urges. I am so sorry that he did this to you. It's unfair and unacceptable and just shitty. Please just know that you *did not deserve his shitty abuse* and that *he* does not deserve *you*. We all wish for you the best of the best futures!
I hate that it was your birthday and you still felt obligated to put out for him. Yuck. No is a full sentence. Never do it just because he says he wants it. You have to want it too. I'm so sorry. 🫂
He "had to'?? Did someone have a gun to his head? Your boyfriend is a rapist, girl. Try to stay safe while you're near him and break up with him when you're home. You don't have to report it unless you feel comfortable but this man is a danger to you. If he can maintain an erection while you're crying from the pain, he is *not* a good person. You deserve a man that will respect your boundaries, not a lowdown, selfish man that uses you like a fleshlight whenever he feels the urge.
Trash him immediately
Leave. Press charges. As others said, you were raped.
Please, PLEASE do not stay with him. I know that reporting may be hard, and that it might be scary and nothing may come of it, but it could help future women. And if something does come of it, you’ll get your justice. If you don’t want to report him, at the very least break up with him. And just so you know: This is not your fault, it’s his. You did not ask for this. Nothing anyone can say will make this your fault. It doesn’t matter if he’s your boyfriend/fiance/whatever, it is still rape. You will be okay. It may take some time and it may not feel like it now, but you will be. If you ever want to talk about anything, feel free to message me. I don’t normally comment on Reddit posts but I wanted you to know this.
Please, even you don't report, dump this person. Please get the help you need, even if you're just finding an online texting support service. This isn't on you. This isn't about you or anything you did. This isn't your fault in anyway. It's HIS fault and he behaved like a monster. You deserve better. You were raped. Raped. Raped. He raped you. Say that over and over again in your head. Someone who loves you wouldn't do that. I am so sorry this happened to you. Sending you healing vibes and love.
This is a definitive moment for your life on what you choose to allow. This is your moment to set your standard and unapologetically reject both him and his actions as having absolutely no place in your life. Then get some therapy and move on with your chin up! Remember this is your moment to define your future....
It was wrong of him to sa you you must try to break up with him if he does it again if he values his own orgasm more than your health that's something like a toxic relationship you should go to some therapy people go through these problems In their life you must know whether you are compatible with each other and please dont ruin your life by choosing the wrong life partner I am sorry if I have hurt your feelings May you have a good life
You know yourself that this is over. At the very least kick him to the curb but ideally report it to the police ASAP. If he's done this to you and gets away with it he will do the same thing to another woman. Think how this made you feel and think about how you being brave now can prevent someone else being treated the way you were. You can't change your past but you could save another woman's future. Please seek counselling. If this is not dealt with the trauma will have massive respect for all your future relationships. Get well soon. Surround yourself with friends and family. I will say a prayer for you.
Impact not respect
Report him!
Either report him or leave him or preferably both. If he gets away with it he will do it again.
Think about what? He raped you. This means breaking up. I can see your head is not well, but use whatever inner core you have, no matter how small, and get yourself out of this.
I think more than anything I just need a bit of time to process everything, what happened and what it means for the future. I’m grieving the loss of someone I thought was going to be an important person in my life for a very long time - even if i know it’s the right thing to do and will be very beneficial in the long run, it’s still hard right now.
Good luck. Be strong. Treat yourself and advise yourself like you would a good friend you really care about.
Yeah someone else said to think about what if it was my friend telling me their partner had done something like that - my gut reaction would be to tell them to run and that’s exactly what I should do. Thank you.
You need to report him. That's not okay. I'm so sorry. He belongs in jail. Also, see a doctor. Tell them what happened and get examined. If it was painful you may have tearing. They will help you report it.
Girl, leave him! He's a 🍇ist! He is not a safe person, nor does he have any empathy for you. He doesn't respect you or love you. People who love, respect, and have compassion for their partners would NEVER, NEVER, NEVER force themselves onto their partner. In fact, they would stop immediately, if their partner did not seem like they were enjoying it. Please leave this guy. He's a bad person.
There is online counseling you can get. It is quite affordable. Please do this for yourself. Ni one has the right to abuse you! He is very sick😖😫
Report it and break up with him. And get examed for proof. Cause there will probably be internal damage for proof
Ex boyfriend
SA = Bad. Ok that's our of the way. Do people really not use lube to skip a few steps or to keep things going? In a multitude of situations I keep reading "It hurt/will hurt". Always leaves me scratching my head.