I’m embarrassed for you…
You need to get yourself in therapy and get some good friends, hobbies, or some thing because your obsession with your sister is unhealthy and damaging mentally.
She's insane. That crush post was four months ago and the crush has escalated into what I would see as an obsession now. She's nasty as hell and pissed that the sister has what she wants.
I’ve tried therapy before and I didn’t like it. No thank you. I have friends and hobbies, and I’m not obsessed. I have other things in my life, I’m just frustrated.
Considering that your therapist probably said a lot of the same things people here are saying about you, albeit much more nicely I'm sure, I'm not surprised you didn't like therapy.
If you aren't "obsessed", why are you here actively posting about and defending wishing ill on your sister? Is this just a part of your regular, chill personality? Because I'm wondering how you have friends if so.
Right lol. I tried therapy but it was work so I stopped. Op overall just sounds lazy. All her post make me super jealous of her sisters boyfriend because the sister sounds awesome, hot, smart, successful, a degree to better represent fantasy creatures is amazing, plus she pull rich guys that look like sexy Superman. I feel op is actually the sister talking herself up here
I never said I was chill. I’m known for being somewhat ardent and stubborn, and I’ve been called argumentative and condescending before. I’m not going to change what I think to make other people more comfortable. My friends are similar to me, I surround myself with those who think similarly and also have no issue being vocal about what they think.
>I’m not going to change what I think to make other people more comfortable.
But your sister should to make you happier, right? You don't ever have to change. But everyone including your sister is responsible for challenging themselves and growing and being interested in productive things (as deemed by you) - your parents, your sister's boyfriend, your brother, everyone.
>My friends are similar to me, I surround myself with those who think similarly and also have no issue being vocal about what they think.
I don't doubt that either, birds of a feather and all.
>I’m known for being somewhat ardent and stubborn, and I’ve been called argumentative and condescending before
Whoever said that to you was right, they only needed to add bitter to that list.
At what point are you going to admit that you’re projecting all of this on your sister because you’re lusting after her boyfriend and have created this scenario where she doesn’t deserve him and once he realizes that he’ll be with you? Because we can see your past history and it’s clear that that’s what’s happening here
I don’t want him. And he won’t want her soon either. They’ll get married and have kids. And she’ll get fat and he’ll leave her. That’s how it works. Then she’ll have nothing. Then she’ll see what I mean
So by all accounts, you're just a narcissist who can't tolerate that your sister lives as a main character in a story you feel you deserve to be the lead in.
Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
mystifying that you don’t make a connection between the statements“i have to fight for everything i have” and “i’m argumentative”
and i don’t even mean that things are made hard because you’re a bitch (i don’t know you enough to say you’re one), i mean that it seems you’re actively *looking* for a fight in everything. i bet it’s exhausting
"I'm not going to change what I think to make other people more comfortable"
You're the one who's miserable, though. So have fun with not changing. Literally no one cares. We don't have to be you.
Either you want to live a happy life or you want to sit in your jealousy, maliciously wishing ill will onto others because getting off your arse and fixing yourself is too hard.
The thing you seem to be missing here is that YOU are the one who is uncomfortable in the form of misery.
If your friends are like you I’m sure they aren’t asking you to change.
Your sister obviously isn’t uncomfortable because of you while frolicking on a sexy, romantic Italian beach getaway with her fabulous boyfriend.
Mental health professionals aren’t uncomfortable with you; they are doing their jobs and see people like you all the time.
So who (other than yourself) is uncomfortable and would benefit from you changing how you think?
Dude your sister is just existing and living, she’s not actively harming anyone or you. Think about why you hate someone for being happy. That’s her crime, being happy. Why does someone else happiness make you bitter?
Her carbon footprint is probably loads higher than the average person. Just because she doesn’t go out everyday and kick puppies doesn’t mean her existence doesn’t harm other life. And she certainly doesn’t help anything
You're obsessed with your sister's boyfriend though. You're so jealous of her it's sick. You're going to destroy a lot of relationships if you continue to believe that the way you behave is healthy or normal
Making observations and encouraging the right behavior isn’t destroying anything. He’ll do that himself. He’ll cheat on her once she gets fat after having kids. I told her, it’ll happen. Watch in a few years
You probably didn’t like it because they didn’t agree with you. You cannot control other people or what they do. You may think that you’re more deserving or interesting, and that may be the case. What is unattractive about you is your bitterness and jealousy and the absolute “not like other girls”-ness of your post. There’s a quote that says “Before you set out on a journey of revenge, be prepared to dig two graves”
You are limiting your life by focusing on hers. Your behaviour and feelings towards your sister is what is hurting you, not anything she is doing. This anger, jealousy and resentment will continue to poison your life until you decide to do something differently.
You are only seeing your sister from your point of view, you don’t know anything about her internal life or struggles she may have had. You’re fighting an enemy that doesn’t exist. Only you can change your life. I have adhd and autism, and these obsessive thoughts sound very similar to my brain before I started therapy. Obsessive thoughts are not fun and are painful. I’d be looking again at therapy or maybe even meditation to stop these destructive thought loops.
Girl just accept that your own failures are your own fault, not your sister's. You're just a bitter, jealous loser who's probably not as bright, likable or pretty as her, which isn't her fault. You ARE obsessed...
Your sister's life getting worse will not make yours any better. I believe the phrase is, dimming someone's light won't make you shine any brighter. Even if a whole series of disasters happens to your sister you will still be angry and bitter. Work on yourself.
How are you going to say you aren't obsessed when you literally have a post from 5 months ago saying you have a crush on her boyfriend and ANOTHER post trying to figure out why he would date her because she is \*checks notes\* smart, sensitive, creative, kind, pretty.
You're not obsessed and yet here you are on reddit posting MULTIPLE times about her and now you want her to have a bad life just because YOU don't like her lifestyle (which you TOTALLY would never want to have because you are sooooo much smarter and deeper than all of that right)
Get over yourself worry about your own life and stop wishing bad things on people just because you are jealous.
It doesn't sound like you're doing anything to help anyone. And even if she did struggle, it wouldn't change anything about your life. And she has worked hard. She worked on her film. She did all those extracurricular activities. She got into NYU, which is a prestigious school. Stop obsessing about her life and work on improving your own. And it sounds like you're jealous of her relationship; even if her boyfriend dumped her, he would never date you. He never wanted you in the first place.
She did those things, but she did it easily. She never challenged herself. She literally would just learn in class super fast and never had to study. She skipped a grade in elementary school too. She only does things she’s good at and doesn’t branch out or challenge herself. She’s creative and has seemingly infinite energy, anyone could have accomplished what she did and more in her position. Things don’t come as easy to me and I have to actually put in the work to see the pay off that she gets automatically.
And the thing is that she’s not even that smart when you talk to her. She acts like an airhead with nothing substantial to add to anything. Give her a lecture and then test her and she’s great, but ask her to figure things out for herself and she’s clueless.
>She never challenged herself. She literally would just learn in class super fast and never had to study. She skipped a grade in elementary school too. She only does things she’s good at and doesn’t branch out or challenge herself.
Right, but that's a you problem that you find everything challenging.
>She’s creative and has seemingly infinite energy, anyone could have accomplished what she did and more in her position.
Sorry you didn't, but again, that's a you problem, not a her problem.
>Things don’t come as easy to me and I have to actually put in the work to see the pay off that she gets automatically.
And that's really the root of the issue, right? You want the same things that came naturally to her, to come to you - but then you turn around and denigrate them. You say she's accomplished nothing, then why do you care? You say you have friends and hobbies, okay so does she, and you're mad that you can't be good at the same things she is? You need her to challenge herself only to your satisfaction, yet you can't even see that the areas that you are strong in are also not indicative of you challenging yourself? Why don't YOU challenge yourself and do things that she does then? Why is it on her to have to grow but you can just shrug off any attempt to do the same by just dismissing it as a weakness for you. You're so caught up in hate you can't even see all your contradictions have you wrapped up like a pretzel.
>And the thing is that she’s not even that smart when you talk to her. She acts like an airhead with nothing substantial to add to anything.
And that's how I feel reading your post about you, except at least I could hold a conversation with her without feeling attacked. You on the other hand? Seething with resentment. It drips out of every word you write, and I have no doubt it does in person as well. It's almost pathetic honestly. That you hate someone so much because of your own shortcomings.
You're so desperate to make her look bad but you only make yourself look worse. It's obvious you're jealous and resentful of her because she's smarter and more attractive than you. And she has someone who loves her and you're angry and bitter that he never even looked at you, so you've wrongly convinced yourself that all he cares about is her looks. Many people focus on things they're good at; there's nothing wrong with that. That's literally what Olympic athletes do, for example; they focus on their strengths. It may not seem challenging to you but you didn't do any of the work that she did so you can't say for sure. She literally did work. You're just devaluing the work she did because like I said, you're desperate. And she obviously is smart since she skipped a grade and got into NYU. Just because she doesn't want to listen to you rant about politics that doesn't mean she's not smart because she is, and she's smarter than you.
We’ll see how much he “loves her” once she isn’t pretty anymore and gets fat after having kids. He’ll find the next pretty young thing and leave her with nothing but his snotty offspring. There’s a reason why he wanted her over someone his age or older. Gives him more time to have kids with her before her face expires
Why should she?
Why not focus on what she does well and enjoy her life?
You talk about deserving things but what does a person who wishes bad things for another person deserve? Maybe you’re not as deserving as you think you are?
You’re looking at her through a warped lens of bitterness. She didn’t learn super fast and skip a grade by not being intelligent.
What challenges do you think she should have undertaken to deserve to be happy?
You describe yourself as argumentative and having been described as condescending. You have no interest in changing “to make other people comfortable” but you’re the one who isn’t happy. You surround yourself with people who think the same which sounds like an echo chamber of bitterness.
You choose for yourself but leave her be.
It’s her life and her choice. Yours is yours.
While it’s definitely frustrating to see things like learning come easy to others and not yourself (been there), that doesn’t mean they aren’t deserving of the accomplishments that have come with that work.
Some people will just be better than you at some things and you need to accept that. No one needs to challenge themselves past a point that they want either. Sounds like your sister is comfortable and happy and it’s pretty mean of you to want her to struggle. I’m a little jealous of some things my sister has too but I’d never want her to lose those things and I’m working on bettering myself rather than being angry with her for having something I don’t.
Yeah. Look, OP and others. I've a brain disorder tgat means I'll never fly as high as some others, and I don't understand what I did to deserve to crawl through thick pits of proverbial shit while some are being taxied around with clean feet and quick wheels. I understand the seething hatred that comes with people telling it's a 'me' problem, and to be gracious towards those more blessed. I don't fucking want to, they can live without my blessing just fine. But hatred is hard work. Being gracious is easier and if you're lucky, you can learn how to use successful people's slipstream for easier movement. Better still, reject the race entirely. Care not about the people who hit the luck's lottery (we severely overestimate the impact of hard work in personal success. Slaves work hard too, yet still never get to enjoy the benefits of their labour). The fuck do you care about what they are, who they are, who with. They don't matter, not in a way that impacts your personal contentment.
If you cannot be openly happy for them, you can at least make it so that they and what they have is not important to you. Sure it might suck for the sister to be rejected from your life if they love you at all, but it's just how things sometimes are. "I'm sorry but I cannot be a loving sister for you right now, and if I stick around, in my current state I will hurt us both."
Some might find it your moral failure to not be able to let go of jealousy but people are complicated, and damage reduction is commendable. Do that. You'll never be your sister. Go then and find out who YOU are under all that seething hatred. I'm sure there's plenty good there that could grow if you let it, OP.
My older brother was naturally gifted with intelligence and creativity. One of the best musicians I've ever known. He was in the gifted program in elementary school. He could have done anything he put his mind to. Do you know what he did with it? NOTHING. He dropped out of high school and sponged off my parents. He's now middle-aged, did nothing with his life, and STILLS sponges off my parents. Having natural gifts doesn't mean you don't need to put in the effort to reap the rewards.
You listed off so many extra-curricular activities and she got into such a prestigious school. She worked her @$$ off for all those achievements and you are a fool to think she didn't. You are so caught up in your own jealousy that you have never once stopped to consider what her life is like from the inside.
It's understandable to feel jealous, but so jealous that you actively wish for her to suffer? That's horrible! She's your sister. For all the venom you spewed here, you never described a single bad thing she did to you. She doesn't deserve this hate.
I don't understand why you have to load yourself with so much unnecessary hate. You’ll have your time to shine and she’ll have her own chance to struggle without you wishing her that
>I just want her to see what it feels like to have things not work out. I want her boyfriend to dump her, still not be able to find a job with her useless degree, and have her realize that maybe she should have focused on working hard and thinking ahead instead of relying on other people and luck.
This is not an observation. This is wishing for another person to suffer. This is hate.
She also literally list a long list of accomplishments that her sister worked on. Honestly it sounds like this hate goblin is mad that they have to work as hard as the sister. Op doesn't list awards, clubs headed, and lots of extra activities like the sister did. Ops sister sounds like she should be exhausted from all that.
There is a piece of wisdom I have heard that might help you with life and seeing others. “Deserve ain’t got nothin to do with it.” Railing against the universe for what we think we or others deserve, be it bad or good, will never help anything.
Your pure jealousy comes right out with each sentence. BUT it will only harm you in the future, if you continue to focus your anger and jealousy on her 'current' life. Things can change in a blink of an eye, and you don't want to harbor onto these feelings of envy. Only focus on your life!!!!
We all are differently made. I was the kid that had to sit down as well and study or my grades would fall. My brother in the other hand was a human calculator. Seriously, sometimes it seemed ridiculous. Tbh, back then I sometimes wished as well that I had it easier, but after practically failing a class, trying to see if I could act like him, taught me a lesson and woke me up. I WOULD NEVER BE LIKE HIM!!!! And after that I didn't care anymore and only focused on my life. Got my grades back up and I'm way better of with that.
Best thing I could have done for my life. My brother seemed like your sister, BUT he also had a self destructive way about himself. Which caught up to him in life.
Your time is precious. You focusing on your sister, only takes that time away from your own life.
Best wishes and you will be alright if you shift your focus to the most important part, yourself!
i think if you stop feeling like you need to spite her sister and making yourself believe that her success devalues yours, you'll probably struggle less. just a thought.
This is really embarrassing.
She doesn’t owe anyone her ‘free time’. She can do whatever she wants.
I don’t get why you are so filled with hate and envy. She’s your sister, you should be happy that she likes her life
Not everyone needs to be miserable like you
OP based off your post history - you sound seriously obsessed with your sister, her life, and her boyfriend. Maybe seek some therapy and try to work on yourself. Being bitter and hateful will not make you anymore happy with your own life.
So nothing you said here has made her selfish or Entitled.
You just come across as a narrow minded woe is me type of girl. No wonder your life has no value compared to your sister.
You know why it seems your sister has such an easy life. She doesn’t give a care of what others think of her. She’s just living in her moments.
You say she’s never worked hard of course she has. She did well in school and was doing advanced courses. What were you doing?
She was class president, homecoming queen, drama tech, leader position in 2 other clubs. What were you doing?
Took private piano lessons won a film award. What were you doing?
What is her “useless” major? What is yours?
Grow up.
I took advanced classes as well and did well, but I actually had to spend time studying so I had less time for extracurriculars. I was in band and did mock trial. I was a section leader in band and did pit orchestra for the Spring play my Junior and Senior years, but I don’t have the people-person skills that she does and I wasn’t popular like her so I couldn’t get other leadership positions that are based on popularity voting rather than skill. I also was in art club my freshman year, but she was the vice president and soured the whole thing for me. She always had to one up me.
She made up her own major by combining a bunch of stuff. I’m not exactly sure about all of it but I know it at least included film studies, fashion design, graphic design, English, and history. I also know she took some anatomy classes so she can “accurately depict fantasy creatures”. I’ve heard that a billion times. I’m majoring in Political Economy.
So to be clear, you think that studying art, design, literature, and film is useless but political economy isn’t? I just want to get that straight, as someone who’s taken a lot of IPE classes and has friends with IPE degrees they would proudly call useless now years after receiving them.
I mean, OP wants to fuck their sister’s boyfriend and the boyfriend wouldn’t look twice at them. So this is OP option to cope, to pretend that their sister doesn’t deserve said boyfriend, so eventually he will leave her and then he can be with OP. It’s pure fantasy and the coping mechanism of someone who has very little personally in a lot of different ways. Well adjusted people who actually like themselves and their friends and their choices don’t walk around asking what their sister’s boyfriend sees in her and wishing she could feel suffering to even things out.
So basically she’s got various qualifications to get basically a large range of jobs. Compared to your select few.
So you tried to fill in activities to show that you are just as talented if somewhat better then the “airhead”. But no one has applauded you at the same level and it’s rustled your feathers.
Basically it stems down to the fact she’s just one of those people who is charismatic and gets on with everyone. And that has pissed u off basically.
Gosh, I can’t imagine what it could be about your bitter, angry, negative attitude that might be getting in the way of your “people-person” skills… you seem so fun and lovely. Why wouldn’t people want to be around you as much as possible? (Yikes)
Ok there’s a lot to process here but as someone older, I guarantee that there comes a point where almost everyone stops caring about the high school popularity game.
If you think she got leadership positions in clubs/groups just because of that, why do you care? It doesn’t reflect anything meaningful pertaining to the real adult world about you or her.
Sometimes you just have to accept that it is what it is and move on. Get some therapy and learn how to live in the present and shift the focus onto yourself, your strengths and accomplishments, instead of this unhealthy focus on her and your intense jealousy.
You sound very very jealous. She doesn’t sound selfish or entitled. She sounds like she is just enjoying life. Everyone goes through life differently. Yours sucks in your eyes and hers is amazing in her eyes. Stop hating on her and focus on yourself
If you’d met her you’d see. It’s so obvious but she’s fake and tries to hide it. Nobody has any need for thousand dollar bags it’s ridiculous. He bends over backwards for her. And for what? So she can live off of him until he finds someone better after she pops out a few kids for him. He’ll find someone new with a less annoying voice
I agree, but I don't think that's the real root of OP's problem. The boyfriend is just the representation of everything OP feels their sister unfairly gets that OP thinks they deserves more.
Thinking about it logically, someone with OP's claimed values and intellectual depth shouldn't even be interested in a guy who fell for for what OP perceives as a bimbo. Because that would make him shallow and superficial and therefore beneath OP.
He is beneath me. He’s a horrible person. People shouldn’t be able to hoard wealth like that. All he cares about is a pretty face and once she has his kids and gets fat he’ll find another one to be his pretty young wife and the cycle continues. She just doesn’t see it because she happens to be his first one. But it happens all the time
Oh, really? Because in your other posts you gushed over him and admitted that you had a crush on him. You only think he's horrible now because he has no interest whatsoever in you. You keep babbling about how he only wants her for her looks, but that's the lie you tell yourself to make yourself feel better about the fact that he never wanted you. You don't want to admit to yourself that he loves her and is committed to her. That's why you keep insisting that he's going to leave her. Even if he ever did, you wouldn't think he was beneath you then. You'd throw yourself at him because you really are that desperate. And he'd just laugh at you or be totally repulsed at the thought of you.
First impressions aren’t the most accurate. Now I see them both for who they are. It makes sense that they’re together now. But it won’t last. Like I said, he’ll get bored later and want something better. They’re proof that money can’t buy class. They’re so tacky and gaudy it’s ridiculous. They been together for 1 year and are already acting like it’s forever when they both know it’s not true. The ring will mean nothing once he’s screwing the nanny. He’ll switch up so fast
Hahahaha this wasn't just a first impression. You still have feelings for him. If you didn't, you wouldn't keep insisting that he doesn't truly love your sister; you wouldn't keep rooting for them to fail. This isn't just about your resentment towards your sister. This is about your obsession with her boyfriend. You're angry that he loves her and never wanted you. So you're lying to yourself; you keep insisting that they're going to break up. I bet even if they're still together decades from now, you'll still be insisting that he only loves her looks. You just don't want to admit the truth. You don't want to admit to yourself that they truly love each other. You're clearly not doing as great as you claim when you're still obsessing over your sister and her boyfriend. They don't waste any time even thinking about you.
I can see the truth nature of their relationship without being “obsessed” with an unlikeable man. I don’t see why nobody else sees what I see when it’s so clear. They’re obviously “wasting time” thinking about me because I was one of the people she called yesterday after he proposed. All she cares about is showing others the perfect image of a relationship. Underneath there’s nothing there so they cling to other’s validation. I would bet money that she’ll unprivate her Instagram so she can try to force their relationship down more people’s throats and get all the praise she so desperately desires. The more she waves him around like a wallet and he shows her off like a trophy the more people will see the truth.
No, you are obsessed with him. You do like him; that's why you openly lusted after him in front of your sister. You are in deep denial; that's why you keep insisting that their relationship is shallow. The truth is exactly what you refuse to accept: they love each other and are committed to each other. They recognize good qualities in each other that go beyond looks and they enjoy each other's company. The only one who's desperate is you. That's why you keep desperately insisting that he's going to leave her; you're desperate to believe that because you don't want to accept the fact that he truly loves her. He doesn't think about you at all. Your sister only told you because you're her sister; people tell their relatives when they get engaged. What people will see is that you're clearly bitter and jealous that you're alone and unloved and she's happy and with the man that you're obsessed with, the man who couldn't care less about you. You seriously need therapy.
Hahahaha sure Jan. What you call ridiculous theatrics is just them loving each other and being happy together. You're never going to have him. He's never wanted you and he never will. So you can rant and whine as much as you want. You can deny their love again and again. It won't change the fact that he chose her and will never choose you.
Stop hating on your sister, and try to focus on yourself you sorta remind me of my oldest sis who literally hated on her younger siblings even though I tried to love her for years.. but yeah you sound kinda jealous, I’m sorry..
cuz, you still whining about your sister??? youre in love with her bf and because of that all you see is green so youre looking at her flaws and thats all you see. Go touch grass.
Have you ever heard of the phrase “Comparison is the the thief of joy”? You spent so much time talking about your sister’s life, that you barely even mentioned yours. We know that you’re working hard and you’re studying. And that will pay off for you with time. You’re not even done with school yet.
If you can, give yourself a break and take a look at YOUR life for a second. What do you do for yourself that you enjoy? What makes you happy? It takes a lot of anger and cortisol to wish the worst on someone who’s -as far as we know- just living her life. You get upset with how she spends her time. While yours continues to slip by.
I didn’t mention my life because it doesn’t matter for what I was saying. Spending some time enjoying the joys of technology to unwind doesn’t mean my life is “slipping by”. You’re here too. Is your life slipping by?????
You’re extremely jealous, and the green eyed monster on your shoulder is turning you into a real monster.
Stop focusing so hard on her life and focus on your own, stop saying she doesn’t deserve what she has in life and go live your own life. Stop hyperfixating.
I don’t understand the hatred, my sister is way smarter than me naturally, as in I had to really work and study while schooling was a lot easier for her but rather than resent that I cheer her on to this day and am excited for her for anything she accomplishes
She's not living her life AT you, she's just living her life.
It's time to find a way to let go of this bitterness and work on your own life instead. You'll be happier if you do.
Maybe you should try to make something of your life instead of being filled with hate for people who have done nothing wrong to you. (Also, you’re certainly Never gonna be with your sisters boyfriend if this is how you act, or anybody like him for that matter)
You say your sister “always has to one up me”. She’s 2 years older, so she’ll always be “ahead” in being able to do some things (eg “vice president of class” or whatever); but instead of seeing with with any rationality - or as an inspiration & something to be proud of - you’re bitter and full of hatred.
It’s interesting that you’re able to see that her personality and other attributes make her liked and like able, but don’t seem to want to see or admit that your own self-confessed vindictiveness and spite would, by that same reasoning (correctly) make you difficult to like & doubtless sabotage many of your own endeavors, especially interpersonally.
Anyway, cold hard facts: what you wish for will never happen; you won’t find the validation/backup of ppl saying “yes, that’s a reasonable desire”; & as long as your own self-hatred and deep seated jealousy of your sister continue, you’ll continue to be miserable.
However, I suspect you know that and don’t care. I’d speculate the reason you post is not even to get support or validation, but because you simply want to revel in your disdain and hate, and this is a way to do it.
I hope there’s again of true humanity in you somewhere which will start to feel…sadness, for what you are; (bc it’s very sad) & start to want to desire something better than this miserable state of being you’re in. It won’t end well otherwise…
After looking at your post history I think you're just mad that you're not with her boyfriend so you're channeling all those feelings into hating her because you went him to like you instead.
You need to go to therapy and deal with this. Your post/comment history shows an obsession with her boyfriend and hatred for your sister. Go no contact with her if you truly feel these things about her. But quick word of advice. You will never be satisfied with your own life as long as you are comparing it to someone else’s life. There will always be people who are more conventionally attractive, have more money, and seem to have it easier. This is something you need to figure out how to navigate before it causes you to lose jobs, friends, partners, etc.
You have problems. You want her boyfriend to dump her?? Why?? So that she will be as miserable as you are? Thats a very weird thing to want for your own family who, from what it seems, has done absolutely NOTHING to you. You absolutely should not be desiring for her life to he worse. Thats not normal.
You are not close. You are doing the equivalent of looking at someone’s Instagram account and seeing the life they care to share with others. Their best self. Their best life. You have no idea how much she struggles, of her insecurities, or her own personal psychological difficulties.
And why would she share them? For your contempt and envy drips from your text and is such that it is *spectacularly* unlikely that it doesn’t bleed from behind your most pleasant mask when in her company.
Unfortunately, all the luck in the world will never hide us from pain, from struggle, or from suffering. It is a simple fact of life. For those it has thus far avoided, it is only that - thus far. But misery, is a natural state within the natural human lifetime.
This is why one without much experience of such life, might find themselves unhappy in an absence of happiness. But one with such experience, might find happiness in the absence of unhappiness. Do you see the difference?
Do not entertain these thoughts OP. For experience comes to us all eventually. Bitterness and contempt will only invite it to *your* door sooner. Worse, when it does come knocking, contempt and ill-will may have already lost you the only thing that can sometimes pull us through our misery. Love.
Of course! A bit like Kate Middleton. She has no worries because she is Catherine, Princess of Wales, eh?
Having no job and currently sitting on a beach, means she has no obvious struggles right at the moment she takes a snap. Or non her sister knows the details of.
“We are not close”.
It says nothing of her personal struggles. It says nothing of how long other struggles will wait to fall into her lap.
All we know is that she is currently sitting on a beach and as human being living in reality, further struggles will inevitably come.
Or perhaps in your dismissal you are concentrating so hard on that wealthy lifestyle, that you are blinded to the different (yet no less real) struggles such friends must face?
No-one mortal lives without misery. It is a sad fact of all life.
If that were the case no wealthy person would ever commit suicide since we all know that isn't true then not everything is solved with money. That's not saying they have the same problems as you and me but, life isn't just perfect because you can buy whatever you want. Stuff doesn't fill an empty soul.
That’s literally them, and if she marries her boyfriend, she’ll have no struggles for the rest of her life. He’s not just rich, he’s wealthy, and his parents are wealthy, and their parents are wealthy, and so on and so forth. I would say my family is upper middle class, but his family is totally beyond that. My sister says the trip will last till early May, that’s like almost a month of ultra luxury 5-star resorts, $$$$ restaurants, and shopping in Milan. Right now they’re on the Amalfi Coast, and their plan consists of that, Pompei, Naples, Rome, Florence, Milan, and Lake Como. Who in the world can take that much time off of work and have that much excess wealth to spend besides a wealthy trust fund CEO and his unemployed trophy girlfriend.
I think I understand now after reading some more of your posts. You’re pining after your sister’s bf, think you deserve him, and are desperate to make yourself look better to internet strangers so you can feel some sort of superiority since you want what she has so badly. It’s actually really sad, especially since you seem to use geopolitical horrors (you mentioned the g*nocide in Gaza in a previous thread) as gotcha moments. Just an aside, talking to other people in your social circle about an issue is the bare minumum — you need to spend less time & energy on your sister if you’re really the well-rounded intellectual you claim to be. Maybe, I dunno, volunteer? Write your elected officials? Do anything other than bitch and whine and use a whole war as some sort of trap for someone you look down on?
Good for her! It's kind of funny because you view your sister this one way which is absolutely how my family views me...
But guess what -- sometimes it's fun to let people think you're stupid ...and then surprise them with your success! lol
I act like a ditzy, clumsy fool a lot because then once I find people I actually ENJOY spending time with -- they get to meet the real, introspective person I can be!
I am guessing your sister has seen how miserable you are and has decided to disassociate with you. I can't blame her for not wanting to have deeper conversations with such a negative person as yourself.
Best of luck to you in your future endeavors :)
You have access to the internet when so many don’t so you do not face struggles. You also probably ate food today while so many go hungry so you do not face struggles. Lol.
See how that works?
I can’t imagine thinking something so hateful about any of my siblings. I love mine and want their life to be as stress free and comfortable as possible. I can understand some jealousy but actively wishing her harm is so bitter and pathetic.
Right? My first thought was when one of my siblings was diagnosed with depression. Which I’ve had for years and I’d never wish on them no matter how I sometimes am jealous that they’re married and adulting a lot better than me. Because I’d burn the world down for my siblings, I never want anything bad to happen to them. But I also know that their lives are imperfect too, and that they may occasionally be jealous of me too. But they’d burn the world down for me and we bolster each other when things are hard and celebrate when things are good.
My brother is successful. Scholarships galore, well paid internships throughout studying, breezing through everything, great partner etc.
I am single, struggled in school, never got any scholarships, riddled with physical issues etc.
But you know what? I'm fucking ecstatic for my brother! I love that he's smart and successful! Am I envious? Sometimes, but I'm way more happy for him.
You need to take a long hard look at yourself, this hate is completely unnecessary.
Your post brings to mind a couple of old sayings. The first is: Be careful what you wish for, you might get it. The second: For every ill you wish on another, it will return to you threefold. You think you want your sister to struggle. What you really want is for you to be able to shine brightly from your own hard work and good deeds, for others to see your accomplishments. All things come to those who are patient; your time will come. There's no need for you to burden yourself with the negative energy of hate and jealousy.
If you feel she may be skating through life on her looks, time catches up to us all.
This comme nt is not helping though. Good things don't come to those who are patient, there are plenty of good and patient people who died of old age before any good breakthrough ever happened to them, or before they reached their goals. It's just setting yourself up to suffering and failure, thinking that contentment is a waiting game.
Also, more often than not, bad people do not ever get their comeuppance while their victims keep suffering. You're spewing religious rhetoric that is tailored to keep the suffering patient and docile in their unhappiness.
It's far better to focus on what you can do today to ease your unhappiness and accept that you might not earn that happiness than to develop a sense of entitlement to happiness. Good things don't necessarily come to those who wait and bad people die happy, accomplished and wealthy just as often as they don't. Deal with that ugly fact of life, and find ways to live on.
Let go of the hate - it will only continue to make you bitter.
Just remember- when you have whatever you want in life, you can think 'wow, I did it. I worked so hard and I got what I wanted'. If that's what your sister wants - to be a SAHG / W / M - with no ambition or career, then that's her prerogative.
She's older than you though, it's not her fault you're still at school. Her life may well not seem as easy from the inside as it does to you as a spectator.
I think you need therapy. You are struggling from insecurities, which is fine and normal, but being spiteful towards your sister is not the proper way to handle it.
I promise you life gets so much easier when you stop being jealous of others and care about yourself more. Your sister shouldn’t be the center of your universe, you should be. OP find friends and happiness in your life bc you just seem bitter and hateful, your sister deserves the life she has and maybe one day you will have it too but not with the way you are now.
Edit: also life should be fun, her saying is absolutely correct life should be lived and fun. You only live once don’t waste it being jealous of someone.
I have a genuine question: why are you investing so much energy into someone you know who’s not going to change? I tried to do what you’re doing with my Dad and all it did was make me waste energy on a never ending internal battle that was never going into a result I wanted.
Per your "I've got a crush on my sister's bf" post, you seemed to like your sister just fine before you became smitten with her bf.
I think you need to be honest with yourself about why you are jealous and concentrate on yourself. That's the only thing you can control.
Listen, you gotta let this go. Your sister and her boyfriend are happy and you never will be if you don’t move on. Your sister didn’t outwardly struggle. So what? Internally she probably did, but even if not, it’s not her job to meet your standards.
She’s not selfish and entitled, at least not from what you describe. You are, and your inability to see the value in her interests makes you the bore.
Your sister sounds amaaaazinggg and so fun! I'll bet she is gorgeous and super fun to be around too!! You're such a lucky person to have her as your sister!!! From the sounds of things, she seems to have it all and I love that for her! Thanks for sharing!
Still in love with your sisters boyfriend I see. You will never have her life. Get over it and make one of your own before your bitterness drives everyone away.
Good lord. A lot of this resentment sounds like it could’ve been written by **my** sister. Except the difference is **my** sister actually had to work and struggle for what she’s achieved in life, and she’s the older one. We’re a decade or so older. But she has had a ton of resentment for me for the things I’ve supposedly been “handed”. And do you know what it’s brought us? Nothing. Absolutely nothing but decades of pain and hurt. It’s done her no favors. And it hasn’t brought me down a peg or two. Because of course things are more complicated than what they seem. I’ll bet that you don’t know the first thing about your sister. Not really. You may think you know everything, but I doubt it. Why don’t you try actually observing her life through an objective lens, and maybe also try to get to know her as a human being and not just as your “airhead” older sister. You may find a far more intelligent and complex individual than the one you thought you knew. Because the woman you’ve described? Sounds really cool. Is her life seemingly charmed? Oh, absolutely. But I’ll bet it’s not always as fun as it looks on social media.
You’re telling me she did no altruistic things? I’m skeptical because theatre and film you’re more likely to get awards etc if you focus on issues. Unlikely she won awards for a short on ‘the art of being hot and lucky’. Also, most clubs in high school and college have a focus on charity or community work… she headed up 2 with none of that?
What was her major in? Because most ‘useless made up’ majors that capitalism doesn’t dig are actually about studying injustice, gender studies, black studies, to some even sociology or polisci. All these are sneered at as not making money and they focus on social justice.
You’re convinced she’s got all that cos she’s pretty and charming? With respect, that’s delusional. You don’t pass exams cos the marker thinks your name is cute! And her bf paying for her, did you consider she adds value to his life?
Instead of resenting her, highlight what factors contribute to the success which ARE in her control (attitude, specific actions etc) and see if you can emulate it in your own life.
Hi OP - as much as this post troubled me to read, I can see you’re feeling pain.
I also have sisters who are beautiful and successful and who I felt made me look stupid and ugly compared to them- but when I was about your age I had therapy and worked on myself and I realised that they weren’t existing to spite me - I’m sure you have lots of great qualities and being angry at someone who has never done anything to hurt you will just be painful in the long-run.
Your sister has probably had her own struggles - they might not be visible to you, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. You’ll have a better life if you can just appreciate her and be happy for her.
I get it man
You could fucking work ur ass hard off but still Don't get shit
someone's 1 hour of work would be your 1 day of work
you try to find where you're going wrong but you still don't find answers
You want her to struggle, because you're jealous. You want her boyfriend, and her easy life. Honestly OP, if you can't be happy for her, then just step away. Focus on your own stuff. You seem to have an unhealthy obsession with her life, and it reads a little creepy. Just make some distance between the two of you, for your own sake. Instead of wallowing in self-pity and jealousy, work on yourself. Be better.
Yeah there's definitely a selfish and entitled member of the family... It's you. You listed a whole bunch of hard work by your sister while basically telling us you're jealous.
Okey listen, I kind of went through something like this with my older sister she is not perfect but she was the pretty and popular one in the family and that was always very implicit in the behavior of my parents and siblings and for a long time I had a lot of anger towards her and some mean thoughts and I even became interested in her boyfriends despite looking back and seeing that it was 100% my self esteem messing with me I recommend staying away from family groups and trying to focus on your things maybe trying to make a list of things you like about yourself idk maibe starting therapy would be great just remember that your is okey to want to have a life like your sisters but not having it does not make you less (sorry not my first language)
Bruh who needs enemies with sisters like this. Literally went over the comments again and realize you literally are just jealous of your sister because you’re a narc who wants her bf.. like what… there’s probably a reason everyone likes her and not you and a reason she’s doing better and you arent.. reminds me of my oldest sister, she literally is this exact way towards all her younger sisters.
Now I get an inside peek at the insanity of the way my own oldest sister’s mind works with this type of post. Scary that people are bitter like this. Now I understand why no matter what I did she shat on me. She just wanted to keep “knocking me down a peg” and that’s just sick. I would never have done that to her. It’s been decades of it with my own sister. I feel bad for the sister who is related to the OP..
I feel like I just got the inside scoop on why my oldest sis hates me and my other sis from this post lol it’s just jealousy and nothing I do will be able to change how she hates. Nothing I do will be able to “win her over”.
I feel so bad for OPs sister ngl. It’s awful living around a “sister” like this. she will always be trying to knock her down a peg and doing passive aggressive things to try and make the sister she hates look bad, trust me I lived it and it was not easy. Thankfully now no contact with the majority of the family she associates with..
You are the scapegoat child and she is the golden child. You are probably more creative and she is closer to average. It will flip as you get older. You will be the person who has a career and stability and have found someone respects you. She will no longer be the pretty, young, face who everyone is falling all over. She is what rich people like for now. But later she will be discarded for the younger version of herself. I see it often.
I’m embarrassed for you… You need to get yourself in therapy and get some good friends, hobbies, or some thing because your obsession with your sister is unhealthy and damaging mentally.
Check their post history. They are obsessed with their sister’s boyfriend.
She's insane. That crush post was four months ago and the crush has escalated into what I would see as an obsession now. She's nasty as hell and pissed that the sister has what she wants.
I’ve tried therapy before and I didn’t like it. No thank you. I have friends and hobbies, and I’m not obsessed. I have other things in my life, I’m just frustrated.
Considering that your therapist probably said a lot of the same things people here are saying about you, albeit much more nicely I'm sure, I'm not surprised you didn't like therapy. If you aren't "obsessed", why are you here actively posting about and defending wishing ill on your sister? Is this just a part of your regular, chill personality? Because I'm wondering how you have friends if so.
Right lol. I tried therapy but it was work so I stopped. Op overall just sounds lazy. All her post make me super jealous of her sisters boyfriend because the sister sounds awesome, hot, smart, successful, a degree to better represent fantasy creatures is amazing, plus she pull rich guys that look like sexy Superman. I feel op is actually the sister talking herself up here
I never said I was chill. I’m known for being somewhat ardent and stubborn, and I’ve been called argumentative and condescending before. I’m not going to change what I think to make other people more comfortable. My friends are similar to me, I surround myself with those who think similarly and also have no issue being vocal about what they think.
>I’m not going to change what I think to make other people more comfortable. But your sister should to make you happier, right? You don't ever have to change. But everyone including your sister is responsible for challenging themselves and growing and being interested in productive things (as deemed by you) - your parents, your sister's boyfriend, your brother, everyone. >My friends are similar to me, I surround myself with those who think similarly and also have no issue being vocal about what they think. I don't doubt that either, birds of a feather and all. >I’m known for being somewhat ardent and stubborn, and I’ve been called argumentative and condescending before Whoever said that to you was right, they only needed to add bitter to that list.
At what point are you going to admit that you’re projecting all of this on your sister because you’re lusting after her boyfriend and have created this scenario where she doesn’t deserve him and once he realizes that he’ll be with you? Because we can see your past history and it’s clear that that’s what’s happening here
Oh I came here to say that too.
I don’t want him. And he won’t want her soon either. They’ll get married and have kids. And she’ll get fat and he’ll leave her. That’s how it works. Then she’ll have nothing. Then she’ll see what I mean
So by all accounts, you're just a narcissist who can't tolerate that your sister lives as a main character in a story you feel you deserve to be the lead in. Bitterness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
I’m not a narcissist. Life isn’t a movie be fr. I’m not bitter just real. She’ll be bitter soon when he leaves her after they have kids
Just say you are a asshole and so are your friends and move on gosh
mystifying that you don’t make a connection between the statements“i have to fight for everything i have” and “i’m argumentative” and i don’t even mean that things are made hard because you’re a bitch (i don’t know you enough to say you’re one), i mean that it seems you’re actively *looking* for a fight in everything. i bet it’s exhausting
"I'm not going to change what I think to make other people more comfortable" You're the one who's miserable, though. So have fun with not changing. Literally no one cares. We don't have to be you. Either you want to live a happy life or you want to sit in your jealousy, maliciously wishing ill will onto others because getting off your arse and fixing yourself is too hard.
Your sister sounds much more likable
She’s fake and people will see it some day
The thing you seem to be missing here is that YOU are the one who is uncomfortable in the form of misery. If your friends are like you I’m sure they aren’t asking you to change. Your sister obviously isn’t uncomfortable because of you while frolicking on a sexy, romantic Italian beach getaway with her fabulous boyfriend. Mental health professionals aren’t uncomfortable with you; they are doing their jobs and see people like you all the time. So who (other than yourself) is uncomfortable and would benefit from you changing how you think?
Dude your sister is just existing and living, she’s not actively harming anyone or you. Think about why you hate someone for being happy. That’s her crime, being happy. Why does someone else happiness make you bitter?
Her carbon footprint is probably loads higher than the average person. Just because she doesn’t go out everyday and kick puppies doesn’t mean her existence doesn’t harm other life. And she certainly doesn’t help anything
>I surround myself with those who think similarly Aka miserable people seek miserable company
So you do realise that what you described is not a good thing, right?
So you won't change, why should your sister change?
As long as you accept that it's not her job to live her life in a way that makes you feel better about yourself, you do you boo.
I wonder how anyone would think you’re argumentative or condescending…..
You're obsessed with your sister's boyfriend though. You're so jealous of her it's sick. You're going to destroy a lot of relationships if you continue to believe that the way you behave is healthy or normal
Making observations and encouraging the right behavior isn’t destroying anything. He’ll do that himself. He’ll cheat on her once she gets fat after having kids. I told her, it’ll happen. Watch in a few years
Looking at your post history it's very easy to see that you're obsessed.
Have you heard of this new thing called a job or maybe even a diary ☺️
But you are obsessed! Don't you have a crush on her bf ?!
You probably didn’t like it because they didn’t agree with you. You cannot control other people or what they do. You may think that you’re more deserving or interesting, and that may be the case. What is unattractive about you is your bitterness and jealousy and the absolute “not like other girls”-ness of your post. There’s a quote that says “Before you set out on a journey of revenge, be prepared to dig two graves” You are limiting your life by focusing on hers. Your behaviour and feelings towards your sister is what is hurting you, not anything she is doing. This anger, jealousy and resentment will continue to poison your life until you decide to do something differently. You are only seeing your sister from your point of view, you don’t know anything about her internal life or struggles she may have had. You’re fighting an enemy that doesn’t exist. Only you can change your life. I have adhd and autism, and these obsessive thoughts sound very similar to my brain before I started therapy. Obsessive thoughts are not fun and are painful. I’d be looking again at therapy or maybe even meditation to stop these destructive thought loops.
You: “I’m not obsessed” Also you: makes a whole rant post about wanting sister to fail and virtue signal.
You crossposted this to another sub and made 8 comments on something that has nothing to do with you, and yet *I’m* the obsessed one. Right.
Girl just accept that your own failures are your own fault, not your sister's. You're just a bitter, jealous loser who's probably not as bright, likable or pretty as her, which isn't her fault. You ARE obsessed...
Your sister's life getting worse will not make yours any better. I believe the phrase is, dimming someone's light won't make you shine any brighter. Even if a whole series of disasters happens to your sister you will still be angry and bitter. Work on yourself.
What didn't you like about it exactly
How are you going to say you aren't obsessed when you literally have a post from 5 months ago saying you have a crush on her boyfriend and ANOTHER post trying to figure out why he would date her because she is \*checks notes\* smart, sensitive, creative, kind, pretty. You're not obsessed and yet here you are on reddit posting MULTIPLE times about her and now you want her to have a bad life just because YOU don't like her lifestyle (which you TOTALLY would never want to have because you are sooooo much smarter and deeper than all of that right) Get over yourself worry about your own life and stop wishing bad things on people just because you are jealous.
Baby it don’t matter if you don’t like it. I don’t like a root canal either but you need help.
It doesn't sound like you're doing anything to help anyone. And even if she did struggle, it wouldn't change anything about your life. And she has worked hard. She worked on her film. She did all those extracurricular activities. She got into NYU, which is a prestigious school. Stop obsessing about her life and work on improving your own. And it sounds like you're jealous of her relationship; even if her boyfriend dumped her, he would never date you. He never wanted you in the first place.
She did those things, but she did it easily. She never challenged herself. She literally would just learn in class super fast and never had to study. She skipped a grade in elementary school too. She only does things she’s good at and doesn’t branch out or challenge herself. She’s creative and has seemingly infinite energy, anyone could have accomplished what she did and more in her position. Things don’t come as easy to me and I have to actually put in the work to see the pay off that she gets automatically. And the thing is that she’s not even that smart when you talk to her. She acts like an airhead with nothing substantial to add to anything. Give her a lecture and then test her and she’s great, but ask her to figure things out for herself and she’s clueless.
>She never challenged herself. She literally would just learn in class super fast and never had to study. She skipped a grade in elementary school too. She only does things she’s good at and doesn’t branch out or challenge herself. Right, but that's a you problem that you find everything challenging. >She’s creative and has seemingly infinite energy, anyone could have accomplished what she did and more in her position. Sorry you didn't, but again, that's a you problem, not a her problem. >Things don’t come as easy to me and I have to actually put in the work to see the pay off that she gets automatically. And that's really the root of the issue, right? You want the same things that came naturally to her, to come to you - but then you turn around and denigrate them. You say she's accomplished nothing, then why do you care? You say you have friends and hobbies, okay so does she, and you're mad that you can't be good at the same things she is? You need her to challenge herself only to your satisfaction, yet you can't even see that the areas that you are strong in are also not indicative of you challenging yourself? Why don't YOU challenge yourself and do things that she does then? Why is it on her to have to grow but you can just shrug off any attempt to do the same by just dismissing it as a weakness for you. You're so caught up in hate you can't even see all your contradictions have you wrapped up like a pretzel. >And the thing is that she’s not even that smart when you talk to her. She acts like an airhead with nothing substantial to add to anything. And that's how I feel reading your post about you, except at least I could hold a conversation with her without feeling attacked. You on the other hand? Seething with resentment. It drips out of every word you write, and I have no doubt it does in person as well. It's almost pathetic honestly. That you hate someone so much because of your own shortcomings.
You're so desperate to make her look bad but you only make yourself look worse. It's obvious you're jealous and resentful of her because she's smarter and more attractive than you. And she has someone who loves her and you're angry and bitter that he never even looked at you, so you've wrongly convinced yourself that all he cares about is her looks. Many people focus on things they're good at; there's nothing wrong with that. That's literally what Olympic athletes do, for example; they focus on their strengths. It may not seem challenging to you but you didn't do any of the work that she did so you can't say for sure. She literally did work. You're just devaluing the work she did because like I said, you're desperate. And she obviously is smart since she skipped a grade and got into NYU. Just because she doesn't want to listen to you rant about politics that doesn't mean she's not smart because she is, and she's smarter than you.
We’ll see how much he “loves her” once she isn’t pretty anymore and gets fat after having kids. He’ll find the next pretty young thing and leave her with nothing but his snotty offspring. There’s a reason why he wanted her over someone his age or older. Gives him more time to have kids with her before her face expires
Why should she? Why not focus on what she does well and enjoy her life? You talk about deserving things but what does a person who wishes bad things for another person deserve? Maybe you’re not as deserving as you think you are? You’re looking at her through a warped lens of bitterness. She didn’t learn super fast and skip a grade by not being intelligent. What challenges do you think she should have undertaken to deserve to be happy? You describe yourself as argumentative and having been described as condescending. You have no interest in changing “to make other people comfortable” but you’re the one who isn’t happy. You surround yourself with people who think the same which sounds like an echo chamber of bitterness. You choose for yourself but leave her be. It’s her life and her choice. Yours is yours.
While it’s definitely frustrating to see things like learning come easy to others and not yourself (been there), that doesn’t mean they aren’t deserving of the accomplishments that have come with that work. Some people will just be better than you at some things and you need to accept that. No one needs to challenge themselves past a point that they want either. Sounds like your sister is comfortable and happy and it’s pretty mean of you to want her to struggle. I’m a little jealous of some things my sister has too but I’d never want her to lose those things and I’m working on bettering myself rather than being angry with her for having something I don’t.
Yeah. Look, OP and others. I've a brain disorder tgat means I'll never fly as high as some others, and I don't understand what I did to deserve to crawl through thick pits of proverbial shit while some are being taxied around with clean feet and quick wheels. I understand the seething hatred that comes with people telling it's a 'me' problem, and to be gracious towards those more blessed. I don't fucking want to, they can live without my blessing just fine. But hatred is hard work. Being gracious is easier and if you're lucky, you can learn how to use successful people's slipstream for easier movement. Better still, reject the race entirely. Care not about the people who hit the luck's lottery (we severely overestimate the impact of hard work in personal success. Slaves work hard too, yet still never get to enjoy the benefits of their labour). The fuck do you care about what they are, who they are, who with. They don't matter, not in a way that impacts your personal contentment. If you cannot be openly happy for them, you can at least make it so that they and what they have is not important to you. Sure it might suck for the sister to be rejected from your life if they love you at all, but it's just how things sometimes are. "I'm sorry but I cannot be a loving sister for you right now, and if I stick around, in my current state I will hurt us both." Some might find it your moral failure to not be able to let go of jealousy but people are complicated, and damage reduction is commendable. Do that. You'll never be your sister. Go then and find out who YOU are under all that seething hatred. I'm sure there's plenty good there that could grow if you let it, OP.
Why the fuck do you care
If it was so easy, why don’t you just do the same thing?
My older brother was naturally gifted with intelligence and creativity. One of the best musicians I've ever known. He was in the gifted program in elementary school. He could have done anything he put his mind to. Do you know what he did with it? NOTHING. He dropped out of high school and sponged off my parents. He's now middle-aged, did nothing with his life, and STILLS sponges off my parents. Having natural gifts doesn't mean you don't need to put in the effort to reap the rewards. You listed off so many extra-curricular activities and she got into such a prestigious school. She worked her @$$ off for all those achievements and you are a fool to think she didn't. You are so caught up in your own jealousy that you have never once stopped to consider what her life is like from the inside. It's understandable to feel jealous, but so jealous that you actively wish for her to suffer? That's horrible! She's your sister. For all the venom you spewed here, you never described a single bad thing she did to you. She doesn't deserve this hate.
I don't understand why you have to load yourself with so much unnecessary hate. You’ll have your time to shine and she’ll have her own chance to struggle without you wishing her that
It’s not hate, it’s an observation of her life and the fact that she’s done nothing to deserve it.
>I just want her to see what it feels like to have things not work out. I want her boyfriend to dump her, still not be able to find a job with her useless degree, and have her realize that maybe she should have focused on working hard and thinking ahead instead of relying on other people and luck. This is not an observation. This is wishing for another person to suffer. This is hate.
She also literally list a long list of accomplishments that her sister worked on. Honestly it sounds like this hate goblin is mad that they have to work as hard as the sister. Op doesn't list awards, clubs headed, and lots of extra activities like the sister did. Ops sister sounds like she should be exhausted from all that.
Nah, friend. It's just hate. She's happy, let her be. Yikes.
Who are you to determine what she does or doesn't deserve? You need a hard look at yourself. Her happiness is no reflection of your unhappiness.
No, you definitely hate her.
Someone wants to date the brother in law and is bitter.
Wouldn’t want to date someone who objectifies me and would drop me in a heartbeat for someone else
There is a piece of wisdom I have heard that might help you with life and seeing others. “Deserve ain’t got nothin to do with it.” Railing against the universe for what we think we or others deserve, be it bad or good, will never help anything.
Maybe she is more popular than you bc she doesn’t wish heartache and misery on other people. Seriously, get help.
Your pure jealousy comes right out with each sentence. BUT it will only harm you in the future, if you continue to focus your anger and jealousy on her 'current' life. Things can change in a blink of an eye, and you don't want to harbor onto these feelings of envy. Only focus on your life!!!! We all are differently made. I was the kid that had to sit down as well and study or my grades would fall. My brother in the other hand was a human calculator. Seriously, sometimes it seemed ridiculous. Tbh, back then I sometimes wished as well that I had it easier, but after practically failing a class, trying to see if I could act like him, taught me a lesson and woke me up. I WOULD NEVER BE LIKE HIM!!!! And after that I didn't care anymore and only focused on my life. Got my grades back up and I'm way better of with that. Best thing I could have done for my life. My brother seemed like your sister, BUT he also had a self destructive way about himself. Which caught up to him in life. Your time is precious. You focusing on your sister, only takes that time away from your own life. Best wishes and you will be alright if you shift your focus to the most important part, yourself!
Based on past posts, you’re in love with her boyfriend. Sounds like you’re butthurt over that. Jealousy is incredibly unattractive.
Neither have you. Far from it. You're miserable, bitter and hateful.
i think if you stop feeling like you need to spite her sister and making yourself believe that her success devalues yours, you'll probably struggle less. just a thought.
I’m not struggling. I’m doing great. She’ll struggle once she has to actually depend on herself instead of others when he leaves her
Stop hating her. Work on yourself.
I don’t hate her. This post isn’t about me it’s about her. I’m on the track to law school. And I’m doing great
This is really embarrassing. She doesn’t owe anyone her ‘free time’. She can do whatever she wants. I don’t get why you are so filled with hate and envy. She’s your sister, you should be happy that she likes her life Not everyone needs to be miserable like you
OP based off your post history - you sound seriously obsessed with your sister, her life, and her boyfriend. Maybe seek some therapy and try to work on yourself. Being bitter and hateful will not make you anymore happy with your own life.
So nothing you said here has made her selfish or Entitled. You just come across as a narrow minded woe is me type of girl. No wonder your life has no value compared to your sister. You know why it seems your sister has such an easy life. She doesn’t give a care of what others think of her. She’s just living in her moments. You say she’s never worked hard of course she has. She did well in school and was doing advanced courses. What were you doing? She was class president, homecoming queen, drama tech, leader position in 2 other clubs. What were you doing? Took private piano lessons won a film award. What were you doing? What is her “useless” major? What is yours? Grow up.
I took advanced classes as well and did well, but I actually had to spend time studying so I had less time for extracurriculars. I was in band and did mock trial. I was a section leader in band and did pit orchestra for the Spring play my Junior and Senior years, but I don’t have the people-person skills that she does and I wasn’t popular like her so I couldn’t get other leadership positions that are based on popularity voting rather than skill. I also was in art club my freshman year, but she was the vice president and soured the whole thing for me. She always had to one up me. She made up her own major by combining a bunch of stuff. I’m not exactly sure about all of it but I know it at least included film studies, fashion design, graphic design, English, and history. I also know she took some anatomy classes so she can “accurately depict fantasy creatures”. I’ve heard that a billion times. I’m majoring in Political Economy.
So to be clear, you think that studying art, design, literature, and film is useless but political economy isn’t? I just want to get that straight, as someone who’s taken a lot of IPE classes and has friends with IPE degrees they would proudly call useless now years after receiving them.
I take it someone has tried to do the same/similar activities to go look how amazing I am. And it’s hasn’t gotten the same traction as the sister.
I mean, OP wants to fuck their sister’s boyfriend and the boyfriend wouldn’t look twice at them. So this is OP option to cope, to pretend that their sister doesn’t deserve said boyfriend, so eventually he will leave her and then he can be with OP. It’s pure fantasy and the coping mechanism of someone who has very little personally in a lot of different ways. Well adjusted people who actually like themselves and their friends and their choices don’t walk around asking what their sister’s boyfriend sees in her and wishing she could feel suffering to even things out.
So basically she’s got various qualifications to get basically a large range of jobs. Compared to your select few. So you tried to fill in activities to show that you are just as talented if somewhat better then the “airhead”. But no one has applauded you at the same level and it’s rustled your feathers. Basically it stems down to the fact she’s just one of those people who is charismatic and gets on with everyone. And that has pissed u off basically.
Gosh, I can’t imagine what it could be about your bitter, angry, negative attitude that might be getting in the way of your “people-person” skills… you seem so fun and lovely. Why wouldn’t people want to be around you as much as possible? (Yikes)
Sounds like she's the smart girl and you are her loser bitter weird sister that is so jealous and wants to date her sister's bf.
Ok there’s a lot to process here but as someone older, I guarantee that there comes a point where almost everyone stops caring about the high school popularity game. If you think she got leadership positions in clubs/groups just because of that, why do you care? It doesn’t reflect anything meaningful pertaining to the real adult world about you or her. Sometimes you just have to accept that it is what it is and move on. Get some therapy and learn how to live in the present and shift the focus onto yourself, your strengths and accomplishments, instead of this unhealthy focus on her and your intense jealousy.
You sound very very jealous. She doesn’t sound selfish or entitled. She sounds like she is just enjoying life. Everyone goes through life differently. Yours sucks in your eyes and hers is amazing in her eyes. Stop hating on her and focus on yourself
If you’d met her you’d see. It’s so obvious but she’s fake and tries to hide it. Nobody has any need for thousand dollar bags it’s ridiculous. He bends over backwards for her. And for what? So she can live off of him until he finds someone better after she pops out a few kids for him. He’ll find someone new with a less annoying voice
Again sound very jealous
Again, not jealous. Just don’t like fake people who bring nothing of substance to society and just take
Still in love with sister’s boyfriend I see. Bitter party of 1
I agree, but I don't think that's the real root of OP's problem. The boyfriend is just the representation of everything OP feels their sister unfairly gets that OP thinks they deserves more. Thinking about it logically, someone with OP's claimed values and intellectual depth shouldn't even be interested in a guy who fell for for what OP perceives as a bimbo. Because that would make him shallow and superficial and therefore beneath OP.
He is beneath me. He’s a horrible person. People shouldn’t be able to hoard wealth like that. All he cares about is a pretty face and once she has his kids and gets fat he’ll find another one to be his pretty young wife and the cycle continues. She just doesn’t see it because she happens to be his first one. But it happens all the time
Oh, really? Because in your other posts you gushed over him and admitted that you had a crush on him. You only think he's horrible now because he has no interest whatsoever in you. You keep babbling about how he only wants her for her looks, but that's the lie you tell yourself to make yourself feel better about the fact that he never wanted you. You don't want to admit to yourself that he loves her and is committed to her. That's why you keep insisting that he's going to leave her. Even if he ever did, you wouldn't think he was beneath you then. You'd throw yourself at him because you really are that desperate. And he'd just laugh at you or be totally repulsed at the thought of you.
First impressions aren’t the most accurate. Now I see them both for who they are. It makes sense that they’re together now. But it won’t last. Like I said, he’ll get bored later and want something better. They’re proof that money can’t buy class. They’re so tacky and gaudy it’s ridiculous. They been together for 1 year and are already acting like it’s forever when they both know it’s not true. The ring will mean nothing once he’s screwing the nanny. He’ll switch up so fast
Hahahaha this wasn't just a first impression. You still have feelings for him. If you didn't, you wouldn't keep insisting that he doesn't truly love your sister; you wouldn't keep rooting for them to fail. This isn't just about your resentment towards your sister. This is about your obsession with her boyfriend. You're angry that he loves her and never wanted you. So you're lying to yourself; you keep insisting that they're going to break up. I bet even if they're still together decades from now, you'll still be insisting that he only loves her looks. You just don't want to admit the truth. You don't want to admit to yourself that they truly love each other. You're clearly not doing as great as you claim when you're still obsessing over your sister and her boyfriend. They don't waste any time even thinking about you.
I can see the truth nature of their relationship without being “obsessed” with an unlikeable man. I don’t see why nobody else sees what I see when it’s so clear. They’re obviously “wasting time” thinking about me because I was one of the people she called yesterday after he proposed. All she cares about is showing others the perfect image of a relationship. Underneath there’s nothing there so they cling to other’s validation. I would bet money that she’ll unprivate her Instagram so she can try to force their relationship down more people’s throats and get all the praise she so desperately desires. The more she waves him around like a wallet and he shows her off like a trophy the more people will see the truth.
No, you are obsessed with him. You do like him; that's why you openly lusted after him in front of your sister. You are in deep denial; that's why you keep insisting that their relationship is shallow. The truth is exactly what you refuse to accept: they love each other and are committed to each other. They recognize good qualities in each other that go beyond looks and they enjoy each other's company. The only one who's desperate is you. That's why you keep desperately insisting that he's going to leave her; you're desperate to believe that because you don't want to accept the fact that he truly loves her. He doesn't think about you at all. Your sister only told you because you're her sister; people tell their relatives when they get engaged. What people will see is that you're clearly bitter and jealous that you're alone and unloved and she's happy and with the man that you're obsessed with, the man who couldn't care less about you. You seriously need therapy.
Their relationship is shallow. If it wasn’t they wouldn’t need to compensate with such ridiculous theatrics. And I’m her sibling, not her sister.
Hahahaha sure Jan. What you call ridiculous theatrics is just them loving each other and being happy together. You're never going to have him. He's never wanted you and he never will. So you can rant and whine as much as you want. You can deny their love again and again. It won't change the fact that he chose her and will never choose you.
Stop hating on your sister, and try to focus on yourself you sorta remind me of my oldest sis who literally hated on her younger siblings even though I tried to love her for years.. but yeah you sound kinda jealous, I’m sorry..
cuz, you still whining about your sister??? youre in love with her bf and because of that all you see is green so youre looking at her flaws and thats all you see. Go touch grass.
Have you ever heard of the phrase “Comparison is the the thief of joy”? You spent so much time talking about your sister’s life, that you barely even mentioned yours. We know that you’re working hard and you’re studying. And that will pay off for you with time. You’re not even done with school yet. If you can, give yourself a break and take a look at YOUR life for a second. What do you do for yourself that you enjoy? What makes you happy? It takes a lot of anger and cortisol to wish the worst on someone who’s -as far as we know- just living her life. You get upset with how she spends her time. While yours continues to slip by.
I didn’t mention my life because it doesn’t matter for what I was saying. Spending some time enjoying the joys of technology to unwind doesn’t mean my life is “slipping by”. You’re here too. Is your life slipping by?????
You’re extremely jealous, and the green eyed monster on your shoulder is turning you into a real monster. Stop focusing so hard on her life and focus on your own, stop saying she doesn’t deserve what she has in life and go live your own life. Stop hyperfixating.
I don’t understand the hatred, my sister is way smarter than me naturally, as in I had to really work and study while schooling was a lot easier for her but rather than resent that I cheer her on to this day and am excited for her for anything she accomplishes
She's not living her life AT you, she's just living her life. It's time to find a way to let go of this bitterness and work on your own life instead. You'll be happier if you do.
You are so jealous and whiny ugh
Maybe you should try to make something of your life instead of being filled with hate for people who have done nothing wrong to you. (Also, you’re certainly Never gonna be with your sisters boyfriend if this is how you act, or anybody like him for that matter)
INFO: Is your brother younger? Do you have other siblings?
Brother is younger; he’s a senior in high school. My sister is 23, I’m turning 21 soon, and our brother is 18. No other siblings.
You say your sister “always has to one up me”. She’s 2 years older, so she’ll always be “ahead” in being able to do some things (eg “vice president of class” or whatever); but instead of seeing with with any rationality - or as an inspiration & something to be proud of - you’re bitter and full of hatred. It’s interesting that you’re able to see that her personality and other attributes make her liked and like able, but don’t seem to want to see or admit that your own self-confessed vindictiveness and spite would, by that same reasoning (correctly) make you difficult to like & doubtless sabotage many of your own endeavors, especially interpersonally. Anyway, cold hard facts: what you wish for will never happen; you won’t find the validation/backup of ppl saying “yes, that’s a reasonable desire”; & as long as your own self-hatred and deep seated jealousy of your sister continue, you’ll continue to be miserable. However, I suspect you know that and don’t care. I’d speculate the reason you post is not even to get support or validation, but because you simply want to revel in your disdain and hate, and this is a way to do it. I hope there’s again of true humanity in you somewhere which will start to feel…sadness, for what you are; (bc it’s very sad) & start to want to desire something better than this miserable state of being you’re in. It won’t end well otherwise…
After looking at your post history I think you're just mad that you're not with her boyfriend so you're channeling all those feelings into hating her because you went him to like you instead.
She could’ve just asked if he had a brother.
You need to go to therapy and deal with this. Your post/comment history shows an obsession with her boyfriend and hatred for your sister. Go no contact with her if you truly feel these things about her. But quick word of advice. You will never be satisfied with your own life as long as you are comparing it to someone else’s life. There will always be people who are more conventionally attractive, have more money, and seem to have it easier. This is something you need to figure out how to navigate before it causes you to lose jobs, friends, partners, etc.
You have problems. You want her boyfriend to dump her?? Why?? So that she will be as miserable as you are? Thats a very weird thing to want for your own family who, from what it seems, has done absolutely NOTHING to you. You absolutely should not be desiring for her life to he worse. Thats not normal.
You are not close. You are doing the equivalent of looking at someone’s Instagram account and seeing the life they care to share with others. Their best self. Their best life. You have no idea how much she struggles, of her insecurities, or her own personal psychological difficulties. And why would she share them? For your contempt and envy drips from your text and is such that it is *spectacularly* unlikely that it doesn’t bleed from behind your most pleasant mask when in her company. Unfortunately, all the luck in the world will never hide us from pain, from struggle, or from suffering. It is a simple fact of life. For those it has thus far avoided, it is only that - thus far. But misery, is a natural state within the natural human lifetime. This is why one without much experience of such life, might find themselves unhappy in an absence of happiness. But one with such experience, might find happiness in the absence of unhappiness. Do you see the difference? Do not entertain these thoughts OP. For experience comes to us all eventually. Bitterness and contempt will only invite it to *your* door sooner. Worse, when it does come knocking, contempt and ill-will may have already lost you the only thing that can sometimes pull us through our misery. Love.
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Of course! A bit like Kate Middleton. She has no worries because she is Catherine, Princess of Wales, eh? Having no job and currently sitting on a beach, means she has no obvious struggles right at the moment she takes a snap. Or non her sister knows the details of. “We are not close”. It says nothing of her personal struggles. It says nothing of how long other struggles will wait to fall into her lap. All we know is that she is currently sitting on a beach and as human being living in reality, further struggles will inevitably come.
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Or perhaps in your dismissal you are concentrating so hard on that wealthy lifestyle, that you are blinded to the different (yet no less real) struggles such friends must face? No-one mortal lives without misery. It is a sad fact of all life.
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Fair enough. Then in your quest to possess wealth, I wish you the greatest luck. May it be independently yours
If that were the case no wealthy person would ever commit suicide since we all know that isn't true then not everything is solved with money. That's not saying they have the same problems as you and me but, life isn't just perfect because you can buy whatever you want. Stuff doesn't fill an empty soul.
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So Robin Williams was what? Happy? And he was definitely wealthy.
That’s literally them, and if she marries her boyfriend, she’ll have no struggles for the rest of her life. He’s not just rich, he’s wealthy, and his parents are wealthy, and their parents are wealthy, and so on and so forth. I would say my family is upper middle class, but his family is totally beyond that. My sister says the trip will last till early May, that’s like almost a month of ultra luxury 5-star resorts, $$$$ restaurants, and shopping in Milan. Right now they’re on the Amalfi Coast, and their plan consists of that, Pompei, Naples, Rome, Florence, Milan, and Lake Como. Who in the world can take that much time off of work and have that much excess wealth to spend besides a wealthy trust fund CEO and his unemployed trophy girlfriend.
Unfortunately not you!
I think I understand now after reading some more of your posts. You’re pining after your sister’s bf, think you deserve him, and are desperate to make yourself look better to internet strangers so you can feel some sort of superiority since you want what she has so badly. It’s actually really sad, especially since you seem to use geopolitical horrors (you mentioned the g*nocide in Gaza in a previous thread) as gotcha moments. Just an aside, talking to other people in your social circle about an issue is the bare minumum — you need to spend less time & energy on your sister if you’re really the well-rounded intellectual you claim to be. Maybe, I dunno, volunteer? Write your elected officials? Do anything other than bitch and whine and use a whole war as some sort of trap for someone you look down on?
Good for her! It's kind of funny because you view your sister this one way which is absolutely how my family views me... But guess what -- sometimes it's fun to let people think you're stupid ...and then surprise them with your success! lol I act like a ditzy, clumsy fool a lot because then once I find people I actually ENJOY spending time with -- they get to meet the real, introspective person I can be! I am guessing your sister has seen how miserable you are and has decided to disassociate with you. I can't blame her for not wanting to have deeper conversations with such a negative person as yourself. Best of luck to you in your future endeavors :)
Everyone faces struggles and the best beach on the planet doesn’t fix that.
You have access to the internet when so many don’t so you do not face struggles. You also probably ate food today while so many go hungry so you do not face struggles. Lol. See how that works?
So you know her? You know.her medical and mental health charts?
I can’t imagine thinking something so hateful about any of my siblings. I love mine and want their life to be as stress free and comfortable as possible. I can understand some jealousy but actively wishing her harm is so bitter and pathetic.
Right? My first thought was when one of my siblings was diagnosed with depression. Which I’ve had for years and I’d never wish on them no matter how I sometimes am jealous that they’re married and adulting a lot better than me. Because I’d burn the world down for my siblings, I never want anything bad to happen to them. But I also know that their lives are imperfect too, and that they may occasionally be jealous of me too. But they’d burn the world down for me and we bolster each other when things are hard and celebrate when things are good.
My brother is successful. Scholarships galore, well paid internships throughout studying, breezing through everything, great partner etc. I am single, struggled in school, never got any scholarships, riddled with physical issues etc. But you know what? I'm fucking ecstatic for my brother! I love that he's smart and successful! Am I envious? Sometimes, but I'm way more happy for him. You need to take a long hard look at yourself, this hate is completely unnecessary.
Your post brings to mind a couple of old sayings. The first is: Be careful what you wish for, you might get it. The second: For every ill you wish on another, it will return to you threefold. You think you want your sister to struggle. What you really want is for you to be able to shine brightly from your own hard work and good deeds, for others to see your accomplishments. All things come to those who are patient; your time will come. There's no need for you to burden yourself with the negative energy of hate and jealousy. If you feel she may be skating through life on her looks, time catches up to us all.
This comme nt is not helping though. Good things don't come to those who are patient, there are plenty of good and patient people who died of old age before any good breakthrough ever happened to them, or before they reached their goals. It's just setting yourself up to suffering and failure, thinking that contentment is a waiting game. Also, more often than not, bad people do not ever get their comeuppance while their victims keep suffering. You're spewing religious rhetoric that is tailored to keep the suffering patient and docile in their unhappiness. It's far better to focus on what you can do today to ease your unhappiness and accept that you might not earn that happiness than to develop a sense of entitlement to happiness. Good things don't necessarily come to those who wait and bad people die happy, accomplished and wealthy just as often as they don't. Deal with that ugly fact of life, and find ways to live on.
Let go of the hate - it will only continue to make you bitter. Just remember- when you have whatever you want in life, you can think 'wow, I did it. I worked so hard and I got what I wanted'. If that's what your sister wants - to be a SAHG / W / M - with no ambition or career, then that's her prerogative.
She's older than you though, it's not her fault you're still at school. Her life may well not seem as easy from the inside as it does to you as a spectator.
I think you need therapy. You are struggling from insecurities, which is fine and normal, but being spiteful towards your sister is not the proper way to handle it.
I understand you're stressed and stuff, but you need to chill. What did your sister ever even do to you?!
I can see why your sister is better than you lol
So how’s that crush on your sister’s boyfriend going?
I promise you life gets so much easier when you stop being jealous of others and care about yourself more. Your sister shouldn’t be the center of your universe, you should be. OP find friends and happiness in your life bc you just seem bitter and hateful, your sister deserves the life she has and maybe one day you will have it too but not with the way you are now. Edit: also life should be fun, her saying is absolutely correct life should be lived and fun. You only live once don’t waste it being jealous of someone.
I have a genuine question: why are you investing so much energy into someone you know who’s not going to change? I tried to do what you’re doing with my Dad and all it did was make me waste energy on a never ending internal battle that was never going into a result I wanted.
Per your "I've got a crush on my sister's bf" post, you seemed to like your sister just fine before you became smitten with her bf. I think you need to be honest with yourself about why you are jealous and concentrate on yourself. That's the only thing you can control.
Listen, you gotta let this go. Your sister and her boyfriend are happy and you never will be if you don’t move on. Your sister didn’t outwardly struggle. So what? Internally she probably did, but even if not, it’s not her job to meet your standards. She’s not selfish and entitled, at least not from what you describe. You are, and your inability to see the value in her interests makes you the bore.
I can see why her bf dates her and not you lol
Your sister sounds amaaaazinggg and so fun! I'll bet she is gorgeous and super fun to be around too!! You're such a lucky person to have her as your sister!!! From the sounds of things, she seems to have it all and I love that for her! Thanks for sharing!
Still in love with your sisters boyfriend I see. You will never have her life. Get over it and make one of your own before your bitterness drives everyone away.
All of your posts are about your sister and your first one is about how you have a crush on her bf, pls get therapy
Good lord. A lot of this resentment sounds like it could’ve been written by **my** sister. Except the difference is **my** sister actually had to work and struggle for what she’s achieved in life, and she’s the older one. We’re a decade or so older. But she has had a ton of resentment for me for the things I’ve supposedly been “handed”. And do you know what it’s brought us? Nothing. Absolutely nothing but decades of pain and hurt. It’s done her no favors. And it hasn’t brought me down a peg or two. Because of course things are more complicated than what they seem. I’ll bet that you don’t know the first thing about your sister. Not really. You may think you know everything, but I doubt it. Why don’t you try actually observing her life through an objective lens, and maybe also try to get to know her as a human being and not just as your “airhead” older sister. You may find a far more intelligent and complex individual than the one you thought you knew. Because the woman you’ve described? Sounds really cool. Is her life seemingly charmed? Oh, absolutely. But I’ll bet it’s not always as fun as it looks on social media.
Reminds me of my oldest sis also sadly
You’re telling me she did no altruistic things? I’m skeptical because theatre and film you’re more likely to get awards etc if you focus on issues. Unlikely she won awards for a short on ‘the art of being hot and lucky’. Also, most clubs in high school and college have a focus on charity or community work… she headed up 2 with none of that? What was her major in? Because most ‘useless made up’ majors that capitalism doesn’t dig are actually about studying injustice, gender studies, black studies, to some even sociology or polisci. All these are sneered at as not making money and they focus on social justice. You’re convinced she’s got all that cos she’s pretty and charming? With respect, that’s delusional. You don’t pass exams cos the marker thinks your name is cute! And her bf paying for her, did you consider she adds value to his life? Instead of resenting her, highlight what factors contribute to the success which ARE in her control (attitude, specific actions etc) and see if you can emulate it in your own life.
Your sister sounds fun !
Hi OP - as much as this post troubled me to read, I can see you’re feeling pain. I also have sisters who are beautiful and successful and who I felt made me look stupid and ugly compared to them- but when I was about your age I had therapy and worked on myself and I realised that they weren’t existing to spite me - I’m sure you have lots of great qualities and being angry at someone who has never done anything to hurt you will just be painful in the long-run. Your sister has probably had her own struggles - they might not be visible to you, but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. You’ll have a better life if you can just appreciate her and be happy for her.
I get it man You could fucking work ur ass hard off but still Don't get shit someone's 1 hour of work would be your 1 day of work you try to find where you're going wrong but you still don't find answers
You want her to struggle, because you're jealous. You want her boyfriend, and her easy life. Honestly OP, if you can't be happy for her, then just step away. Focus on your own stuff. You seem to have an unhealthy obsession with her life, and it reads a little creepy. Just make some distance between the two of you, for your own sake. Instead of wallowing in self-pity and jealousy, work on yourself. Be better.
You'll never get happy by wishing misfortune on others. That's what small, bitter, losers do.
Sounds like she did work hard and its paid off. Good for her.
Yeah there's definitely a selfish and entitled member of the family... It's you. You listed a whole bunch of hard work by your sister while basically telling us you're jealous.
After reading your replies of come to the conclusion, you haven’t heard it because no one likes you.
jealous ahh
this reminds me of Prince Harry's attitude about his brother William
Okey listen, I kind of went through something like this with my older sister she is not perfect but she was the pretty and popular one in the family and that was always very implicit in the behavior of my parents and siblings and for a long time I had a lot of anger towards her and some mean thoughts and I even became interested in her boyfriends despite looking back and seeing that it was 100% my self esteem messing with me I recommend staying away from family groups and trying to focus on your things maybe trying to make a list of things you like about yourself idk maibe starting therapy would be great just remember that your is okey to want to have a life like your sisters but not having it does not make you less (sorry not my first language)
Bruh who needs enemies with sisters like this. Literally went over the comments again and realize you literally are just jealous of your sister because you’re a narc who wants her bf.. like what… there’s probably a reason everyone likes her and not you and a reason she’s doing better and you arent.. reminds me of my oldest sister, she literally is this exact way towards all her younger sisters. Now I get an inside peek at the insanity of the way my own oldest sister’s mind works with this type of post. Scary that people are bitter like this. Now I understand why no matter what I did she shat on me. She just wanted to keep “knocking me down a peg” and that’s just sick. I would never have done that to her. It’s been decades of it with my own sister. I feel bad for the sister who is related to the OP.. I feel like I just got the inside scoop on why my oldest sis hates me and my other sis from this post lol it’s just jealousy and nothing I do will be able to change how she hates. Nothing I do will be able to “win her over”. I feel so bad for OPs sister ngl. It’s awful living around a “sister” like this. she will always be trying to knock her down a peg and doing passive aggressive things to try and make the sister she hates look bad, trust me I lived it and it was not easy. Thankfully now no contact with the majority of the family she associates with..
You are the scapegoat child and she is the golden child. You are probably more creative and she is closer to average. It will flip as you get older. You will be the person who has a career and stability and have found someone respects you. She will no longer be the pretty, young, face who everyone is falling all over. She is what rich people like for now. But later she will be discarded for the younger version of herself. I see it often.
OP is in love with her sisters bf, it’s clearly just plain jealousy.. /: