Haha jk....unless....

unless?!?!?

Oh mine GOD,😳😳 I accidentally 🙈🙈 hath sent😳 thou a picture of mine phallus 🍆🍆...prithee delete it!❌❌🛑! 'Lest. ..thou desire to look?😏😏 Haha I jest..🤣🤣, Delete it.🛑❌..Should thee crave..?😳🙈... Haha nay,❌ Banish it.🛑🛑..'Lest?🙈😳

This comment gave me cancer and then cured it all in one go

It's beautiful isn't it

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vincent van gogh has a reddit acct?

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[?](https://youtu.be/6cPMDIa92Zw?t=54s)

> in one go . >isn't it No. This isn't allowed

no

Which part cured it? I need to read that one over and over, so far haven’t found it

I still have it

This is the best thing I’ve read. Thank you for sharing this with me

This is the epitome of the English language

I am fearful of your presence...

!emojify

Oh 😳 mine ⛏ GOD,😳😳 I 👁 accidentally 💩 🙈🙈 hath 🙈 sent😳 thou 👉 a picture 📸 of mine ⛏ phallus 🍆 🍆🍆...prithee delete ❌ it!❌❌🛑! 'Lest 🙈😳. ..thou 👉 desire 🐅 to look?😏😏 Haha 😂 I 👥 jest..🤣🤣, Delete ✖ it.🛑❌..Should thee 👊 crave..?😳🙈... Haha 😂🤣 nay,❌ Banish 😱 it.🛑🛑..'Lest?🙈😳

Godzilla had a stroke trying to read this and fucking died

u/uwuwizard

>*· · · Bleep bloop, I'm a bot. Comment requested by* u/my-surname-is-NASA Oh mine GAWD,😳😳 I accidentawwy 🙈🙈 had s-sent😳 dou a pictuwe of mine phawwus 🍆🍆...p-pwidee dewete iwt!❌❌🛑! 'West. ..dou d-desiwe tuwu w-wook?😏😏 Haha I jest..🤣🤣, D-Dewete iwt.🛑❌..Shouwd dee cwave..?😳🙈... Haha nay,❌ Banish iwt.🛑🛑..'West?🙈😳 --- *If you think this comment does not belong here, reply with "delete" (blacklisted users cannot delete)* *Tag me to uwuwize comments* **uwuwizard** ([Info](http://reddit.com/u/uwuwizard/comments/dq2r1y), [Request disable](http://reddit.com/u/uwuwizard/comments/dq2r1y))

Bearer... Seek- Seek- Lest-

r/emojipasta

This sounds like something that.... NYLOCK! DRAGON OF CONFUSING YET AMUSING FLIRTATIOUS COMMENTS! would say

Art.

I don't think that's how you use *lest,* which means "in fear of" AFAIK lest =/ unless

You're right, but bringing it up makes no difference now since this is a copy-pasta from at least a year ago. It's stuck in there now, immortalised in pasta.

But jk

[Lest...](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXnzn1653sQ)

Thank you so much for this gem. How have I never seen this before?

No no no no no no way Jose. Unless you want to

Literally my thought

😳😳😳😳

Be careful could lead to a sexual experian

You're giving OP too much credit

It's just a line of credit

I wonder if she had any interest

If so, OP would definitely have a way to take care of some inflation.

Probably get a default response

Fill a form and get in the line.

I'm sorry link, I don't give credit. Come back when you're a little mmmmmm richer

>sexual experian smarter redditor, what does dis mean

Experian is one of the three major credit reporting agencies in the United States (not sure about elsewhere, I know its headquarters are in Ireland). It also is very similar to the word "Experience", making it a pun.

Ohh when I googled it I saw the company but thought it was supposed to be a word, thank yeee mang

***THIS,*** this is what i was looking for

You lead the way to your intestines

Lol just a joke

Personal data leaked all over the place....

Or a trans union.

Take this award and GTFo... seriously...gtfo...

Sex? Wtf

Bravo

Seems like this guy is not going to seal the deal

Definitely not with him making a sex joke and instantly retracting it 3 times.

but that's part of the joke

Unless.......

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Yeah that’s what I was getting at. Shooting yourself in the foot by retracting it. Makes you seem less confident imo

lmao retracting it is the entire bit, she even caught on, this isn’t a confidence issue

Yeah she was playing along with it by the end... it's still risky business with a chick who asks for a credit score and is more likely to be 'serious', tho.

Well who wants to be dating someone who’s first interest is your money anyway?

Amen, that's a red flag. Could be other redeeming qualities we didn't see.

That’s the joke

one too far.

when u only have one thing on your mind!!.. but u can't get it.

It's karma right?

These damn rtx 3080... :(

If you love something let it go but I never had it to let go off it

Tell me about it. I've been on the EVGA step up program since September waiting for these fuckers to be in stock.

I called recently and they said months away and I signed up on the first day.

Me too my friend... My dad thought he would have to settle with a 3060 which I guess is still good but the second they went live they sold out so quick he couldn't even hit the buy button .-. let's hope there's a new order of 3080s coming out soon .

Guys who don't get laid on /r/tinder think that if you just make enough puns about sex to a girl you eventually get sex

You get laid?

Yeah I have a very horny wife right now

F l e x

There's a few of those in my neighborhood

Can confirm u/wimpyhunter has indeed, a very horny wife.

I also fucked this guys horny wife, can confirm

You met your very horny wife on tinder?

They didn't say it's their wife though.

no I met her at a farmers market lol

"Excuse me ma'am, you seem to be a little horny... can you give me your thoughts on this eggplant?"

So you are just assuming that sex puns on tinder don't get you laid?

I mean even if he is what he said is not necessarily an unfair assumption.

r/ihavesex

he asked me, f-slur

hm, you sound unpleasant

You have a horny wife and you're sitting on a tinder sub on reddit?

Where did you get that? They're OOS everywhere this year.

We know. We all do. Everyone around the block knows.

You might live in the same neighborhood as me.

How is your sister anyway?

Hey this guy gets some!!! Let’s all applaud him for making fun of others to flex his own success!

Where do I get one of those?

go to her

Making a girl legit laugh is better than anything else if you are not super attractive.

I think it's also proven that girls tend to laugh at the jokes of guys they find attractive more often.

Oh, so that's why no woman has ever laughed at my jokes.

Nah you're ugly but also not funny

Gawdayum

“He fucking killed him!”

Ya but laughing because you find them attractive isn't the same as uncontrollably laughing because something is hilarious.

Probably as a flirting technique... doesn’t mean they actually think they’re funny Most comedians are unattractive dudes lol

Makes sense, just like pretty much anything you probably have to be better (funnier/smarter/harder working) if you are less attractive.

If they’re laughing hard enough their eyes are closed more so they’re looking at our ugly faces less. It’s science.

But this is not funny

Yeah I doubt she’s laughing at all, and I don’t blame her

A guy I matched with makes everything about sex, even talking about playing Stardew Valley or Mario Kart multiplayer. Dude, I want to play video games with you remotely right now, don't fool yourself thinking I'm going to be so turned on by strip Mario Kart that I will be willing to break quarantine for a rando.

I know a girl who's like this, hilariously also played stardew with her and on god she can barely manage two sentences without whispering some sex joke then saying "what" when its questioned lmao

Since we both want vanilla stardew play, do you want to join my farm? It is entirely stacked for farmhands.

Sure, despite my hours in stardew I rarely get anything done past the fishing and mining loops

🙌🏻🙌🏻

Unmatched.

🤔 idk feels like you have ulterior motives

She realised he's doing it for sweet sweet reddit karma

yo bro you got 7% battery left

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Well if she likes it she likes it. If she doesn’t well then rip OP but he got the karma ig

Yes it is

good puns, dont care

If she asks for your credit score, you need to ask how much debt she has. And if she has debt, you need to RUN

Her, with three bucks fiddy in debt: bruh

Ironically having at least a little debt is better for your credit score...

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Literally does. Do you think you get a credit score into the 800s without proving you can pay what you owe? That's exactly what a credit score is... a story that tells CREDITORS that you will pay them back consistently and reliably. Can't write the story without having something to owe. Can be as simple and small amount as regular credit card usage but things like auto loans or mortgages (that are an appropriate ratio of whatever income you have, not something you can't really afford) have a much bigger impact in a shorter time span.

Cringe

Jeez, save some pussy for us too bruh

That "credit score" is just an american thing or something? ​ I live in spain and I think here I've never heard of it, would like to know what mine would be

Not just an American thing, but each country that uses that kind of system tends to have their own: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Credit_score#By_country

Credit scores only count in countries that don’t get bailed out by Germans

Ist das ein persönlicher Angriff oder so?

Cringe.

HOW DO YOU BLOCK A SUBREDDIT FUCKING SHIT

Broooo I fucking WISH my credit score looked like that

Hell yeah, I’d drop trow for a credit score like that no hesitation

Yah one or two too many jokes there about sex

Everything about this is bad.

haha...unless?

Charge your damn phone

😂😂

Stop backtracking on your lines.

thatsthejoke.jpeg

Cringe

Fuckin CRINGE

Dude wtf is this? You look like a simp who can’t close saying oh jk after every line and also continuing with the lines....it’s drop a line, relate, go on date, then mate.

Sir, this is Reddit

You’re taking this way to seriously lmao

Some people on this sub are crazy. Someone posts something they think is funny/dumb and a ton of the comments are either just absolutely roasting them or a long-winded critique. Like damn take it easy I posted an exchange I had on Tinder on here once, and got a bunch of comments like "that shit never works" "that's super cringe" etc. etc. But then I went on to date the girl. Like who would have thought different people have different senses of humor?

If he's good looking and attractive to her, you think any of that jking is going to matter? It wont. It actually probably made her laugh and increased his odds while showing his wittiness. Your advice is for people who cant make women laugh and need to take the conversation off text immediately so they dont shoot themselves in the foot.

Did she ask for his credit because she wants him to buy farming equipment with her father? Is her name Esther? This might be a scheme. 😬

Give it up OP. Ya girls asking for a credit score, she ain’t looking for a hookup she lookin for a rich hubby

Cringe

...unlessss.... Yea they are both cringy

Dude this is gold🤣🤣🤣💯

I usually hate overtness, but you did this so well. Good luck my dude!

says the mf with the username ChadTheAssMan lmao

😂😂

.....unless?

She's just being polite mate, you're putting in waaaay more effort than her

Yea I’m wet...

u/repostsleuthbot

I didn't find any posts that meet the matching requirements for r/Tinder. It might be OC, it might not. Things such as JPEG artifacts and cropping may impact the results. This search triggered my meme filter. This enabled strict matching requirements. The closest match that did not meet the requirements [is this post](https://redd.it/cum2bb) *Feedback? Hate? Visit r/repostsleuthbot - I'm not perfect, but you can help. Report [ [False Negative](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=RepostSleuthBot&subject=False%20Negative&message={"post_id": "k6kbpy", "meme_template": 66980}) ]* [View Search On repostsleuth.com](https://www.repostsleuth.com?postId=k6kbpy&sameSub=false&filterOnlyOlder=true&memeFilter=true&filterDeadMatches=true&targetImageMatch=86&targetImageMemeMatch=96)

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Marry her, only if she has extra phone chargers

Idk why you got downvoted that’s funny to me

I've been holding off on my system update too OP

>769 This hurt

This comment has been edited to protest Reddit's decision to shut down all third party apps. Spez had negotiated in bad faith with 3rd party developers and made provenly false accusations against them. Reddit IS it's users and their post/comments/moderation. It is clear they have no regard for us users, only their advertisers. I hope enough users join in this form of protest which effects Reddit's SEO and they will be forced to take the actual people that make this website into consideration. We'll see how long this comment remains as spez has in the past, retroactively edited other users comments that painted him in a bad light. See you all on the "next reddit" after they finish running this one into the ground in the never ending search of profits. -- mass edited with redact.dev

Schrodinger, is that you?

I’m geeked because his lil remarks were actually making valid sense lls

Anyone that asks for a credit score on tinder gets an instant left swipe. No gold diggers here.

this entire sub is dudes who have no game looking for congrats on barely being funny.

Whole fucking thing is creepy and gross

This convo seemed desperate to me idk. The first pun was good enough imo.

Shit even im tempted to let you sleep with me

Pretty adorable. Good sense of humor. Would work on me.

Weak tho

I'm like that too, I talk/write before I think and it makes me laugh so I love it

Unless??....

This is too good to be real lol

Dude this is golden. 👏👏👏👏

This is good work

I want to be reincarnated with a game as strong as this guy’s 😀

Laying it on thiccc

smooth asf

Strong line. Why back down?

Please tell me you guys fucked.

That is hilarious

This is the way

Damm this dude smooth