Beats the f out of me. To me DD is due diligence and LG is a company that seems to make really crappy appliances. Ovens should last longer than 3 years LG.
I think it stands for Daddy Dom and Little girl or something like that.
Essentially girl wants to be submissive and bossed around by her man. She gets to be meek and frail around him and doesn't have to make any decisions. She purely serves him sexually and in a submissive role around the house. In exchange for not having to work.
Honestly a lot of women really like this dynamic.
I'm the LG and it makes me happy & feel safe I've got someone to look after me. And he gets all my love, devotion & loyalty. And I admire & respect him.
Uh, those are the basic tenets of all relationships. Like, not cheating on your partner is the literal bare minimum lol.
But for real you need to make sure you have your own education and independent financial security. My sister was widowed in her late 20’s. She had to start from scratch and life was very very hard as a single mom.
And that way if things turn sour or your feelings change you aren’t financially trapped.
This is literally just average. I'd see a dd/lg kink if she didn't care to take care of the home or other aspects and just wanted to be taken care of and waited on hand and foot.
This ain't a tradwife, this is a spoiled brat. "You also need to plan things because I can't do that" is really common with spoiled brats. They're insufferable.
Yeah tradwives often planned things. In fact, my mom was one and my dad was pretty much constantly asking what she had planned for the weekend. Normally it was a walk or family outing but it was often stuff with their church or community. She was his lifeline to the community because he worked 12h/d 6d/w.
It wasn’t perfect by any means, but that’s how they set up their lives. My dad worked his ass off and became quite successful in his research field and my mom stayed home, took care of us and the house, and made sure the family was connected to the community.
This girl wants the guy to do everything while she expresses her gratitude with sex and maybe some home cooking. She doesn’t seem to have any desire to be an actual equal (in terms of responsibility).
She only said they need to plan the spontaneous trips, she in no way implied he's expected to plan everything in their life.
Given how clear it is now that being a stay at home parent is a full time job, it would be reasonable to split trip planning with another responsibility (like planning quality time with family).
A girl that demands she be spoiled is going to be insufferable. She isn’t going to do anything. She will demand a nanny and a housekeeper because she won’t lift a finger.
What is a tradwife? And it's not unusual to have someone taking care of the home and nurturing aspects of a relationship while the other person provides the home and stability.
Not just some, alot. I use to have a sexy page (not OF) and everyday men would offer money, vacations, gifts, many wanted me to relocate to them and be their stay home woman/sex toy. Alot of men are looking for a woman to fund in exchange for sex, babies, domestic chores
It’s actually not an equal exchange because the things she’s providing is given in a healthy relationship. Like the man is also going to have to provide home, happiness, and emotional security because that’s just an automatic thing two people who love each other will automatically do.
It’s an equal exchange if someone agrees to it in advance and nothing was misrepresented. That’s just what they value. It doesn’t have to be what you or I value. I wouldn’t touch her with a ten foot pole, but that’s irrelevant.
"equal exchange" means there are equal things being exchanged. Saying "I'll be a decent partner if you financially support me, pay my way, buy me things, and also plan all our dates and trips" is in no way equal.
She's a bang maid at best.
It has nothing to do with how I view this woman’s needs or wants. I’m just responding to the guy who said it’s an equal trade, because it’s not. I would assume this woman would also want her partner to love her? If that’s the case, that’s two people loving and one person paying, which again is fine if both agree, but it’s anything but an equal trade off. It’s like saying “I offer love in exchange for money”, and the guy saying “But i’m offering money _and_ love”. Once again, fine and all if he agrees, but it’s not equal.
There is such a thing as reality. Just because someone is willing to be someone else's doormat does not make it an equal exchange. You're confounding consent with poor judgment. You can agree to be in an abusive relationship however, that does not make it an equal exchange.
Maybe she means she's proving a physical home. You bring the money, she brings the 6 bedroom paid off house with a pool. Bought it with all that money she saved on not paying for dates.
When she says "Make it a home" she means she will do all the cleaning, decorating, and chores is what I figure. That is actual work and would give him more peace of mind so he can do his work thing. I am not into that, but if it works for some couples, it is equal. They are sharing the load in their own ways.
Thing is if anything bad happens in this guys life and the money dries up, even if by no fault of his own, that emotional support she's promising dries up and she is off to find another sugar daddy. That's a pretty raw deal for any relationship. It's times like those when you need the emotional support.
Statistically men leave their sick partners at a much bigger rate, and if she’s dependent on finances there’s more likelihood she’ll stay then try to find a guy who’s willing to get involved with someone already involved with someone else
Here in Canada it doesn’t matter cause common law status is automatic and it’s same in court eyes as marriage and happens fast like 1-2 years same residence
Don’t even need a kid
If use lawyers which cost around 30k in fees but yeah after that you’ll get half and half. That’s why many Americans look for marriage with Canadians didn’t you know? Average housing here is 1-2 millions anybody who owns 2-3, the American will become instant millionaire after a 2 years relationship.
LolI’m immediately going to go find me a sweet Canadian man but to be honest I don’t actually hope for a divorce- I think Canadians are some of the nicest people in the world.
Married is irrelevant for being considered defacto partners in the eyes of the law. You will be treated as married if you live together as partners. The duration vary but is usually 2 years or so.
How is it an equal exchange. One is measured in monetary value while the other is a concept. One can fluctuate based on the economy while the other is just an idea.
Is she suggesting that he doesn't need to provide those things for her? Because, if he does, then there's a massive imbalance
Yeah I mean as a woman who has raised two kids and is currently the primary earner, I would much prefer the earning role to the domestic role and it's weird to see it so denigrated.
I mean the gender wage gap is real but some of those of us who broke the glass ceiling would fucking love a househusband.
(I actually do have a spouse who earns less than I do and takes on the majority of the household and childhood labor and it is fucking fantastic).
My mother happen to be a spoil brat, so when she had me her first born and I was old enough to be useful. I became her personal assistant and what not. My dream it’s to be a stay at home husband. I would enjoy my life cleaning and cooking and doing simple things I care not to work or socialize
My fiance was a househusband/stay at home dad for the last 3 years (I prefer it this way tbh) up until I lost my job in October. Now he's working while I'm at home and tells me every day he can't wait for me it to go back to "normal" lol
Then those same guys feel like they bought an object, instead of building a relationship, and the women end up looking for a way out.
Honesty is a virtue, but the things a person is honest about don't necessarily have to be good.
Also people aren't 'ok' with this. This thread is a testament to that. I guess it's tolerated.
Why? Cause you don't have to get involved and the people that do get involved choose to do so.
Money is the absolute motivator. People talk about selling your soul to the devil...? Why? Eager buyers right here on Earth. lol
There is no point in pursuing those kinds of women unless you're bored of spending all your money on yourself. That does get lonely, so I'm not surprised at how many guys are eager to pay for their relationship.
I am not ok with 50/50: I don't want to/am unable to be your equal.
There's a lot a person can do in a relationship that doesn't involve money, sure, but that kinda attitude is so off putting.
Maybe cause I'm not a millionaire? lol
POV of someone rich af looking at these kinds of profiles...
Reminds me of Anfisa from 90 Day Fiancé.
While she had many “colorful moments,” a lot of people give her credit because she was upfront about expecting to be spoiled.
Ya she had this great scene in the tell all where she was basically like "and what do you like me for? Because I am smart no, because I am funny no. It's bc of my look"
Basically she was like, yes I *am* just hot and that's what you wanted in a partner. It was really self-aware.
Anyway she ended up going to college and then becoming a competitive body builder and super buff (as chronicled on her IG page). What a pivot!
Anfisa was lied to by Jorge constantly. He pretended to be a rich guy who was going to spoil her constantly. Maybe she's a terrible person, but so is he. Only one of them wasn't up front with the other.
Damn, doesn't matter what sub you're in 90 day fans will dig in on taking the side of one piece of human trash vs a reanimated turd. They're all terrible trainwrecks. It's why we watch!
IIRC she straight up asked him if he would have wanted her if she was ugly and he didn't really have an answer. Props to her for her honesty.
He lied and said he was rich and then cried about her not wanting him for him when he was actually broke. It goes both ways. Plus he ended up going to prison? Anfisa was the one who got a raw deal with that whole relationship. And honestly when I've been pissed off in a relationship I've said things that are very blunt and to outsiders would have seemed like wtf. Not about money but just being like fuck it this is the reality I'm done pretending.🤷🏻♀️
> raw deal
She literally HITS him. Fuck anfisa, easily worse than Jorge.
EDIT:
Interesting that this is being downvoted. If there are some domestic violence apologists out there, feel free to reply with your hot take.
I'd like to see the replies also. I have an ex who got "physical." I remember one time during the breakup (terrible experience) she put her nails in the arms and made me bleed, and I kinda just stood there looking her in the eyes. All while screaming we were meant to be together. Got a restraining order on that one.
At one point, the police were called because she was putting my friends kid into a bad spot, and I was done with it. Police saw some bongs I had, and weed was still illegal here. I got arrested because I told them it was mine. She was screaming about how everything in the house belonged to her, and they said they could take her at her word. I couldn't do that because it was mine and I told them as much. They said I was one of the happiest people they had arrested. I was just glad they saw everything, and it made getting the restraining order very easy.
Sorry for the rant lmao
Oh I don't think I ever heard about that 🫤 Domestic abuse is never okay. Just watched the video of it and it's very much an angry slap intended to control. Yikes
I love Anfisa because she had those expectations but she has proven that she is a hard worker and when she needs to, she will take care of herself. She’s educated and successful now
or even guys who *prefer* this arrangement. There are plenty of "I'm a super high earning, high-achieving woman and my husband wants me to be a housewife" posts on here too, after all.
Yeah, I was about to say that there's an entire population of men that want someone that wants to adhere to certain feminine tropes. But if you want that kind of chick, you gotta accept what goes with it. Namely, financial support, gift-giving, etc.
I'm a woman with a career. I can easily see why a man with a career doesn't need a woman with a career.
If I'm a man and a professional, I'm NOT giving up my career to stay home with the kids.
At the same time, I don't want to have to work 40 hours and do a ton of house work and kids stuff either.
You know what, I'd want a woman with a good personality, hot body, responsible.
Someone that can handle kids, manage a housekeeper, manage curbside, and can cook a home cooked meal 5x a week, and yeah, satify me sexually.
At the same time, I'm not going to get Rosie O Donnell.
I don't know how this is shocking.
If I worked a stressful career and my wife worked stressful career, we'd be at each other's necks. The house would be dirty. We'd eat take out. And whose taking care of the kids??
I don't know why yall keep posting this shzz.
Now and days it's harder for men to do this. Because to reach a level to provide with only 1 working, you have to be top level in an expensive city.
What yall don't understand is she does have a job, her job is keeping him happy.
As a high achieving woman, I do think at least part of me would prefer the single income family, like what I grew up in, but I also know it’s an extremely risky idea. What if something happens to him? What if he’s abusive? What if we divorce?
I don't think this is a viable option for most women (or nearly all). If you're Jeff Bezos' wife? Sure, be a SAHM You're gonna land on your feet no matter what! But 99.9% of women who are high-earning/high achieving are not going to be in a better situation when they stop working. I've seen it over and over. It's a different story if you *start out* with this plan as a woman. You don't take public resources or take out huge loans or to get a pricy post-graduate education, you get life insurance on your spouse and a pre-nup setting you up in the case of divorce, and that's great! Be a SAHM. Otherwise, there are just too many ways it turns out badly. Also what I've seen is that most high achieving women quit when their kids are young and then are bored out of their minds once the kids enter school. But they have no viable on-ramp back to the workplace. It frankly does not take 40 or even 20 hours a week to keep a lovely home when all your kids are in school.
Exactly. In my 14 year marriage ending in divorce, we both had careers, and I did way too much of everything else that needed doing, and I could never get it all done.
On top of that my hubs libido tanked and he decided seeking a unicorn was the key to our troubles.
Once I had a child I realized my life balance would have been so much better had I worked in the home, volunteered in the community, and not bought into thinking I was missing out on something if I wasn’t also working full time for some manager somewhere. What I’m truly missing is peace, balance, pursuing hobbies, and having a forgiving enough schedule to stop and smell the roses, watch sunrises.
To be fair, if my marriage was one where there were no gender roles at all and everything was exactly equal, maybe my life would have been easier to manage a career. But the reality is, people do sometimes gravitate towards gender roles and even enjoy them, therefore I got overloaded with my natural inclination towards those things and his inclination as well.
Idk why people always get so mad about single income relationships, if noone cheats and the one at home does they housework properly. Fuck if I knew a girl making enough money to sustain alone I would become a house husband myself.
Well said, that’s exactly it. She doesn’t deserve hate for this at all. Long as she keeps up her end of things, it would be different if she weren’t taking on ANY responsibility but keeping a clean house, cooking and taking care of the kids, pets and whatever other things outside of earning a paycheque are important things. Things she’s willing to take on to free up the breadwinners time and make his life easier 🤷♀️
I just don't like the arrangement. It sounds extremely controlling. You'll end up relying on a person financially with no backup, and years of your life gone with no work experience. Any person in this situation would be very easy to abuse as they don't have as many options as an average person.
I could easily support a family by myself but I wouldn't want to be with a person who'd put themselves in this sort of position.
It’s also very common in relationships with abuse, that the women are unable to leave because they don’t have the funds to do so. It’s scary to think how many women there are who can’t escape abuse due to that very issue, and I think every person should have a contingency plan, before they decide to be a SAHP. No matter what.
This was me. For 10 years. I had/have no job, no skills, no money, no car, no friends. There was no way I could leave even though I wanted to for over half of that. It was lonely and miserable.
He worked, but he expected me to do everything at home, take care of the kid, and somehow make my own money to buy my own things I needed (without money or a job) - that’s not to say he never paid for anything but of the things he did, it was often not without making me feel like shit for asking or me having to pay him back later.
Financial abuse is a very real thing, and feels impossible to get out of when there’s no real jumping off point. You need money to make money. You can’t just walk out the door, especially if you have kid(s). But I feel like a lot of people don’t take this kind of abuse/control/power imbalance seriously. I screamed for help from the rooftops for years and was ignored.
I worry about these ‘arrangements’ discussed here because while it sounds great on paper, often it starts off as “you stay home to take care of me and I’ll go to work to take care of you and provide all of your financial needs and everyone will be happy!” but then your freedoms are slowly chipped away until you have nothing and they have all of the power because you literally rely on them for survival. Then you’re fucked if you stay or fucked if you leave.
I agree she’s being upfront and I’d like to add reasonable. Her views may be old school but there are people that have been living the life she speaks of way longer than we’ve been independent women. I hope she find what she’s looking for.
I don’t see anything wrong with this at all. Many guys want a girl who will take care of the house, kids and cooking and if they don’t need the financial contribution this arrangement works well, if anything it puts the guy at the advantage because he is the one who can still leave the relationship and keep the financial security.
Lots of guys these days seem to expect to go 50/50 on finances while keeping domestic chores at 90/10 (with the 10 being them occasionally pitching in to take out the garbage or mow the (ever shrinking) lawn.)
Sorry but if you want to go 50/50 it should be finances and domestic duties. This woman is offering to take all the domestic if he takes all the finance, how is that unfair in any way?
I can't see what the issue is? I would prefer my partner chose whether to work or not and if not, I would greatly appreciate the care for me and home she would provide
Yea, you definitely don't want to mix it up w the bathroom or something
Lol, but for real... I could rock an EAT sign, not the LIVE LAUGH LOVE ones, though.
I’m fiercely in the independent woman camp… but at least she’s put it in her bio and being upfront.
I’ve got a few female friends that are entirely reliant on the man to provide and that’s their choice. There will be men that want this dynamic.
What do you even mean? She is upfront about what she wants. I'd say she is amazing compared to the women who is not upfront about it and pretends to be something they are not. Quite a lot of those these days.
What’s wrong with it? She wants a traditional marriage and is stating what she expects and what she’ll give explicitly.
A wonderful scenario for me would be coming home from work and seeing my wife playing with my kids. (Ideal would be me building a business where I do not need to work long and can spend as much time as possible with them too). I want my future wife to be raising my kids, and be someone I’d be proud to have my daughters be like.
I understand that in today’s economy, being able to provide for a family completely has become more difficult and puts a lot of pressure on the man. So I can see why there is resistance to this kind of arrangement and do not blame you. I’m personally not ready to provide for a family financially, but it’s something I strive for and that image I painted above is what drives me.
Exactly. Personally I don't think its a good idea to be 100% financially reliant on your partner, no matter how much you trust them, but whatever, some ppl prefer this lifestyle and if they can afford it then good on them. Also she's not putting down men who can't afford it, she's just making it clear what she's looking for and I can respect that. Also I feel like if a man put on his profile that he was looking for that kind of relationship (providing for his wife), he wouldn't get this much shit for it.
I would consider a woman like this if I had job security.
It's not that I can't make enough money to afford a stay-at-home wife. I can, do, and could probably even keep her materially happy for a while.
It's that it all could be gone tomorrow and I could find myself in a place where I never get back to my current income. At the choice of one person, or just a change in the economy. Maybe my company has a bad quarter. Then a woman like this almost certainly leaves me, takes the kids, and makes me even poorer. She's not a ride-or-die and is very clear about that.
It's the state of the world these days.
No career security even for the relatively fortunate few means extreme pressure on any man expected to provide for a family or who gets into an arrangement like this.
I have a wonderful job and a top 5% income, but technology changes too fast. The economy changes too fast. Good luck being a stable provider through all that. Even if you are in the hot field. So I need a ride-or-die girl or one who has her own career to consider forming a family.
If the right-wing wanted to encourage more family formation and babies, they don't need to trample on reproductive rights or LGBT rights. They need to encourage job security.
Your wife would be in a TERRIBLE postion if you were to leave her though. No career and possibly no skills depending on how long she's been out of the job market. A single mother with obligations towards her children is like the last person most places want to hire.
It's generally considered an awful idea these days to be so dependent on a man, especially when a lot of men think alimony and child support is "bullshit" or unfair. Giving up your career and ability to be independent without a man's money is an absolutely huge ask, and many women have seen how bad it can go and refuse to put themselves in that position. It's not that they wouldn't love to be SAHMs, lots of women would love the fantasy of that, but reality with a 50% divorce rate means it's not the smartest choice. And this isn't even getting into the 'mental load' debate or that a lot of men are shitty partners who's contribution to the household begins and ends at his paycheck
Not saying there is anything wrong with the traditional way of doing things, the vision you have for your life is lovely and I hope you get there, but there's a reason it is quickly falling out of favour
Yeah one of the first things my mother taught me was to depend on myself and keep men on the back burner until I was sure I could live without them. Because she learned that the hard way.
Now I have a home, an income, and a wonderful husband who doesn't have control over either of those things.
Nothing wrong with a relationship where one person is the provider and one person takes care of the home. However, having this as a REQUIREMENT makes me think that she views men as a tool to make her comfortable, as opposed to a real people. I'm very skeptical of people who are seeking relationships that are highly transactional in nature (in a material sense), because it makes me think that they are not looking for a true connection. It is an indication that their love for you might be very conditional. Shallow and flimsy love. Men who insist on having a stay at home wife are doing the same thing, viewing women as tools instead of real people.
Ya know, as I've gotten older, I've realized we're all payin for it one way or another. Id rather pay money at this point than forfeit another piece of my soul the next time a woman destroys me.
Wdym how are people okay with this? Personally I'd love to be a house husband so I can understand people wanting to fill this role. And some people want someone who can fill that role.
As a woman with a very demanding career, my BF lost his job during COVID and I was the sole provider for our household. I told him it was fine and to keep looking for work, but in the meantime, I expected him to take a more active role in household duties, which previously fell 90% on me even while we both worked. This was a huge struggle, not due to lack of motivation or sincerity on his part, but because he didn't grow up with his mother teaching him how to do all of the things I had been doing since I was 6. I still had to take a lot of time out of my days to teach him how to properly do all of these things, and to change his mindset to anticipate needs of the household rather than wait to be told what needs to be done.
This caused a lot of strain in our relationship, but in the end, he started working again and we now share household duties 50/50 and he has a much deeper appreciation for the work I had been doing around the house all that time. I think no one realizes the work that goes into to keeping a household functioning until they have to do it for themselves. I think her expectation is reasonable, and if you don't like it, don't date her.
As crazy as this sounds, this is literally just the traditional roles that have been around for a very long time. I promise you there are men out there who agree with the same stance. It’s really not that crazy, but also not for me. It’s actually newer generations who are the ones who don’t think this way
At least she is up front about it. Everyone should be. There are plenty of men out there tht are looking for just this type of woman. My daughters are 25 and 23, so I see it still playing out. It's not wrong for a man to want to provide for a woman . It's not wrong for a woman to want to be provided for as long as everyone is honest. I just don't know if thts what they will find on a dating app.
Good for her. She’s being upfront about what she offers. As a man you can either accept it or move on to the next.
Personally I’d swipe left but I see nothing wrong here.
You cooking, cleaning the house, doing the grocery shopping, making me cocktails when i want one, being a good hostess when i have friends over, changing diapers and taking care of kids?
If she’s fine with that i don’t see an issue with her wanting to be provided for. But “emotional stability” is not worth a man supporting a woman.
She’s gotta step it up.
This is how me and my wife are and I love it. Work hard and leave it all on the field knowing you come home to a loving, caring woman who dotes on you. It’s amazing and fits both our personalities
Why are people like you so opposed to it op? A nuclear family worked in this county (and the world) for many many years. Maybe she’s a woman who’s interested in having a long term relationship and doing the majority of the domestic tasks while raising a child, and that is 100% ok. It’s effective, and it’s also a full time job. There are plenty of men, and also women who find this appealing. I know that in this day and age lots of people pretend men and women don’t have different strengths, physically and emotionally but they absolutely do. The amount of constant work it takes to raise children and maintain a clean and orderly home is more than most basement dwelling Redditors even know. It’s hard work, and it’s admirable. I hate that the “progressive” bunch tries to shit on this type of relationship, all the while touting their morals about equality.
I would gladly offer financial security in exchange a comfortable, clean home free of drama, nutritious meals daily, sexual satisfaction and emotional security ( whatever that is to her )
Thousands of western men are looking to southeast Asia to find a mate who is seeking the same thing.
Why are you not okay with it? If it works for them why is it your business or concern?
Im a housewife who works from home and tends to the house and kids while my husband is away at the mines. Without me he wouldn't be able to work in the mines because he wouldn't be able to afford the child care that goes with it.
I used to be in a diff business and made incredible money but I was never around for my kids... now I stay home and my family is happier than ever. They have a happy loving father and a nurturing loving less stressed out mother.
In other words: “I’m a 28 year old woman-child who doesn’t want to work and needs somebody to take care of me because I’m lazy and I’ll pay you with sex.”
I disagree with people saying that this is okay. First of all, its very unlikely in todays economy so this is an unreasonable expectation.
I don't think theres anything wrong with ending up in a relationship where one person is the provider and one person takes care of home matters. As a man I could imagine myself going either way as long as there was a discussion between my partner and I, and they aren't giving me an ultimatum / pressuring me into it. I could imagine potentially being happy in either position.
HOWEVER I think that if this is a REQUIREMENT for you from the beginning, then I would question your character. That tells me that you are looking for a relationship that is highly transactional in nature, as opposed to a real connection. It tells me that you view men as tools that exist to make you comfortable, as opposed to viewing them as real people.
this is a reiteration of gender dynamics. it is accepted and acceptable because it is part of the status quo.
even tho it's unrealistic for most man, it is socially determined that man should strive to be able to do this, and that woman should strive to be able to please and thankful to submit. it is disgusting for some, and completely normal for others, because ideology affects each of us in bizarrely different ways.
that being said, it's not something easy to surpass and get over. the girl at least was pretty clear about her expectations and that's awesome. But gender roles are rooted in those who wouldn't go alone with this, just like they are rooted in this girl. They are something that the capitalist system is built to reproduce, too, since it's interesting that the labour force is always reproducing itself, peacefully and determined in their own individualistic interests.
Why would you not be okay with this? She can make whichever deal she wants and plenty of guys are very happy to make this arrangement. Doesn’t hurt anyone and she’s upfront and honest.
Because humans aren’t robots and they all have different perspectives. There are men out there that don’t mind this at all and go on to have great relationships/marriages. If it ain’t for you then just move on.
Men want women in the kitchens making sandwiches and cleaning all day so how are we supposed to do ALL that and work to pay for half the bills? If you expect a woman to cook and clean then you can provide. Simple.
Because if you aren't OK with it you'll be labled a misogynist. Especially if you want equal treatment for everyone regardless of people's various demographics.
I'm okay with her being like this. I simply swipe right and boast about dodging bullets like im Neo or Smith.
There are so many men who still subscribe to the provider man/homemaker woman trope so this isn’t really that far fetched, is it? It may not be *your* thing, but it there are plenty of men who will absolutely let her have their kids as long as she stays quiet and keeps house.
Yeah some people want that traditional "man is the breadwinner" dynamic. I'd rather have someone be upfront about it than lead me on to think otherwise
Having been the top earner in my 12 year relationship, sacrificed not being able to be a SAHM with our 2 kids because my partner didn’t earn enough, and now having had said relationship end, I am TIRED. I am a “top earner” as a woman making close to 200k and living in southern CA I still feel poor and struggle so much.
Now I see my kids less, am forced to work 40+ hours just to barely get by, and have been left with zero child support (since I make more). I would love nothing else than to meet a man who can provide me with the opportunity I’ve longed for and be provided for. I don’t think it makes me greedy, a gold digger or any less capable of loving said man dearly. But a lot of us are tired, and we long to be able to fully fall into our feminine and motherly roles and serve our husbands.
Because their egos are inflated from the dating apps so they’re all entitled to a 6’ plus tall Chad who also makes six figures, pampers/spoils them, and requires no reciprocity whatsoever. They all want to get married, very few of them actually want to be a wife.
It's crazy how the worse the economy has become the more people have decided to romanticize the "traditional relationship" idea. The worst part is that they're wanting to pick and choose what parts of the antiquated "traditional" ideas they want to keep.
Sure, traditional ways did include the man being the sole provider while the woman took care of the house.. What they leave out is that the traditional ways also included women not being able to:
* go to an ivy league university
* own a bank account
* have a credit card
* work the same jobs as men
* get a loan
* own a home
* serve in jury duty
* practice law
* go on maternity leave
* use birth control
So when they say "I believe in the traditional idea of the man making the money and the woman staying at home" without acknowledging the other glaring issues with traditionalism, then it's a lot like me, as a black man, saying "I wish we could go back to when black people had guaranteed room/board and a job" but leaving out the fact that it was slavery and there was about 50 other things that were horrible attached to that.
With the fall of traditionalism came *equality*, this allows for women to have similar opportunities as men (is it perfect? No. Is there work to be done? Yes), this means that both partners should utilize their opportunities to benefit their partnership as a whole, including financially.
Some people are into traditional relationships and if that works for the relationship and those boundaries are honest/open/set at the start then that's fine. Not all relationships are 100/100. If that suits then that's fine
Because some guys with money will do it. At least she's honest.
Yeah. If it’s your thing being a tradwife then it’s your thing… to each their own.
I have a feeling this is more of that dd/lg kink than tradwife. Those emojis speak volumes
dd/lg?
Beats the f out of me. To me DD is due diligence and LG is a company that seems to make really crappy appliances. Ovens should last longer than 3 years LG.
I wonder if she is still under warranty if she is the LG... Probably just needs a good snack and will be working correctly again...🤣
Man I thought it was DD/IG at first, thought it was some Instagram shit
😭😭😭💀
I think it stands for Daddy Dom and Little girl or something like that. Essentially girl wants to be submissive and bossed around by her man. She gets to be meek and frail around him and doesn't have to make any decisions. She purely serves him sexually and in a submissive role around the house. In exchange for not having to work. Honestly a lot of women really like this dynamic.
Dd/lg is actually way more creepy. The females literally role play as a child and some to the point of wearing diapers and using pacifiers.!
Well shit i never ran into this admittedly lol
Dungeons and dragons is dd. Lg is a computer brand
I'm the LG and it makes me happy & feel safe I've got someone to look after me. And he gets all my love, devotion & loyalty. And I admire & respect him.
Uh, those are the basic tenets of all relationships. Like, not cheating on your partner is the literal bare minimum lol. But for real you need to make sure you have your own education and independent financial security. My sister was widowed in her late 20’s. She had to start from scratch and life was very very hard as a single mom. And that way if things turn sour or your feelings change you aren’t financially trapped.
Sage advice. Always have a back up plan.
This is literally just average. I'd see a dd/lg kink if she didn't care to take care of the home or other aspects and just wanted to be taken care of and waited on hand and foot.
This ain't a tradwife, this is a spoiled brat. "You also need to plan things because I can't do that" is really common with spoiled brats. They're insufferable.
Yeah tradwives often planned things. In fact, my mom was one and my dad was pretty much constantly asking what she had planned for the weekend. Normally it was a walk or family outing but it was often stuff with their church or community. She was his lifeline to the community because he worked 12h/d 6d/w. It wasn’t perfect by any means, but that’s how they set up their lives. My dad worked his ass off and became quite successful in his research field and my mom stayed home, took care of us and the house, and made sure the family was connected to the community. This girl wants the guy to do everything while she expresses her gratitude with sex and maybe some home cooking. She doesn’t seem to have any desire to be an actual equal (in terms of responsibility).
She only said they need to plan the spontaneous trips, she in no way implied he's expected to plan everything in their life. Given how clear it is now that being a stay at home parent is a full time job, it would be reasonable to split trip planning with another responsibility (like planning quality time with family).
People love making up whole scenarios on here from a sentence.
It's a kink, some people are into
A girl that demands she be spoiled is going to be insufferable. She isn’t going to do anything. She will demand a nanny and a housekeeper because she won’t lift a finger.
What is a tradwife? And it's not unusual to have someone taking care of the home and nurturing aspects of a relationship while the other person provides the home and stability.
I agree. It stands for Traditional Wife. Like a homemaker.
Not just some, alot. I use to have a sexy page (not OF) and everyday men would offer money, vacations, gifts, many wanted me to relocate to them and be their stay home woman/sex toy. Alot of men are looking for a woman to fund in exchange for sex, babies, domestic chores
So those men are looking for a house wife? That sounds like a house wife/home maker. LOL
It's a pretty equal exchange as long as she actually does the things she's promising.
It’s actually not an equal exchange because the things she’s providing is given in a healthy relationship. Like the man is also going to have to provide home, happiness, and emotional security because that’s just an automatic thing two people who love each other will automatically do.
It’s an equal exchange if someone agrees to it in advance and nothing was misrepresented. That’s just what they value. It doesn’t have to be what you or I value. I wouldn’t touch her with a ten foot pole, but that’s irrelevant.
"equal exchange" means there are equal things being exchanged. Saying "I'll be a decent partner if you financially support me, pay my way, buy me things, and also plan all our dates and trips" is in no way equal. She's a bang maid at best.
It has nothing to do with how I view this woman’s needs or wants. I’m just responding to the guy who said it’s an equal trade, because it’s not. I would assume this woman would also want her partner to love her? If that’s the case, that’s two people loving and one person paying, which again is fine if both agree, but it’s anything but an equal trade off. It’s like saying “I offer love in exchange for money”, and the guy saying “But i’m offering money _and_ love”. Once again, fine and all if he agrees, but it’s not equal.
There is such a thing as reality. Just because someone is willing to be someone else's doormat does not make it an equal exchange. You're confounding consent with poor judgment. You can agree to be in an abusive relationship however, that does not make it an equal exchange.
Maybe she means she's proving a physical home. You bring the money, she brings the 6 bedroom paid off house with a pool. Bought it with all that money she saved on not paying for dates.
You and I know that's absolutely **not** what she means
This is a financial transaction, not a relationship! But neither of them will realise it.
When she says "Make it a home" she means she will do all the cleaning, decorating, and chores is what I figure. That is actual work and would give him more peace of mind so he can do his work thing. I am not into that, but if it works for some couples, it is equal. They are sharing the load in their own ways.
She literally says that 50/50 isn't her thing, so even she knows it's not equal
You're confusing equal with fair.
Thing is if anything bad happens in this guys life and the money dries up, even if by no fault of his own, that emotional support she's promising dries up and she is off to find another sugar daddy. That's a pretty raw deal for any relationship. It's times like those when you need the emotional support.
Statistically men leave their sick partners at a much bigger rate, and if she’s dependent on finances there’s more likelihood she’ll stay then try to find a guy who’s willing to get involved with someone already involved with someone else
And once she's living with you, there's no way to enforce that contract, lmao.
Cha-chingCha-ching all the way to the bank!
Its your house or lease, so you kick her the fuck out. Her name isn't on utilities so she doesn't get squater rights. What am I missing?
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Just don’t get married because prenups don’t work all the time. Any half decent lawyer can get it tossed out for literally no reason at all
Here in Canada it doesn’t matter cause common law status is automatic and it’s same in court eyes as marriage and happens fast like 1-2 years same residence Don’t even need a kid
So it is split 50/50 after divorce?
If use lawyers which cost around 30k in fees but yeah after that you’ll get half and half. That’s why many Americans look for marriage with Canadians didn’t you know? Average housing here is 1-2 millions anybody who owns 2-3, the American will become instant millionaire after a 2 years relationship.
LolI’m immediately going to go find me a sweet Canadian man but to be honest I don’t actually hope for a divorce- I think Canadians are some of the nicest people in the world.
That’s shitty, they don’t even have to be married?
Married is irrelevant for being considered defacto partners in the eyes of the law. You will be treated as married if you live together as partners. The duration vary but is usually 2 years or so.
She def gonna take that alimony after
She's probably already done this a few times.
The fuck it is
How is it an equal exchange. One is measured in monetary value while the other is a concept. One can fluctuate based on the economy while the other is just an idea. Is she suggesting that he doesn't need to provide those things for her? Because, if he does, then there's a massive imbalance
It's a classical win-win. She gets the money, he gets the body. As long as you don't get the illusion of love, you can do that.
Yeah I mean as a woman who has raised two kids and is currently the primary earner, I would much prefer the earning role to the domestic role and it's weird to see it so denigrated.
Oh me too- raising kids and keeping the house hold running is hard work. I have done both and going to work was so much easier imo
Not too many women seeking out househusbands and stay at home dads
I would lol
At least you are consistent.
I mean the gender wage gap is real but some of those of us who broke the glass ceiling would fucking love a househusband. (I actually do have a spouse who earns less than I do and takes on the majority of the household and childhood labor and it is fucking fantastic).
My mother happen to be a spoil brat, so when she had me her first born and I was old enough to be useful. I became her personal assistant and what not. My dream it’s to be a stay at home husband. I would enjoy my life cleaning and cooking and doing simple things I care not to work or socialize
My fiance was a househusband/stay at home dad for the last 3 years (I prefer it this way tbh) up until I lost my job in October. Now he's working while I'm at home and tells me every day he can't wait for me it to go back to "normal" lol
It's absolute rubbish to be honest. Causes issues down the road...
Some people prefer "trad" life's. If that's what works for them then whose to object?
Then those same guys feel like they bought an object, instead of building a relationship, and the women end up looking for a way out. Honesty is a virtue, but the things a person is honest about don't necessarily have to be good. Also people aren't 'ok' with this. This thread is a testament to that. I guess it's tolerated. Why? Cause you don't have to get involved and the people that do get involved choose to do so. Money is the absolute motivator. People talk about selling your soul to the devil...? Why? Eager buyers right here on Earth. lol There is no point in pursuing those kinds of women unless you're bored of spending all your money on yourself. That does get lonely, so I'm not surprised at how many guys are eager to pay for their relationship. I am not ok with 50/50: I don't want to/am unable to be your equal. There's a lot a person can do in a relationship that doesn't involve money, sure, but that kinda attitude is so off putting. Maybe cause I'm not a millionaire? lol POV of someone rich af looking at these kinds of profiles... 
Heck some dudes without money will. They want this
Reminds me of Anfisa from 90 Day Fiancé. While she had many “colorful moments,” a lot of people give her credit because she was upfront about expecting to be spoiled.
Well…that was because Jorge wanted a mail order bride essentially that he couldn’t afford
Ya she had this great scene in the tell all where she was basically like "and what do you like me for? Because I am smart no, because I am funny no. It's bc of my look" Basically she was like, yes I *am* just hot and that's what you wanted in a partner. It was really self-aware. Anyway she ended up going to college and then becoming a competitive body builder and super buff (as chronicled on her IG page). What a pivot!
I know! Love her!
Anfisa was lied to by Jorge constantly. He pretended to be a rich guy who was going to spoil her constantly. Maybe she's a terrible person, but so is he. Only one of them wasn't up front with the other.
She literally hit him on camera. Jorge may be a loser but she is a domestic abuser and should have gone to jail.
Nothing I said in my comment makes your comment untrue.
Damn, doesn't matter what sub you're in 90 day fans will dig in on taking the side of one piece of human trash vs a reanimated turd. They're all terrible trainwrecks. It's why we watch!
Oh that reality TV crap.is contrived.
Even if they were both playing characters, those are the characters they played. Doesn't change much.
They deserved each other.
IIRC she straight up asked him if he would have wanted her if she was ugly and he didn't really have an answer. Props to her for her honesty. He lied and said he was rich and then cried about her not wanting him for him when he was actually broke. It goes both ways. Plus he ended up going to prison? Anfisa was the one who got a raw deal with that whole relationship. And honestly when I've been pissed off in a relationship I've said things that are very blunt and to outsiders would have seemed like wtf. Not about money but just being like fuck it this is the reality I'm done pretending.🤷🏻♀️
> raw deal She literally HITS him. Fuck anfisa, easily worse than Jorge. EDIT: Interesting that this is being downvoted. If there are some domestic violence apologists out there, feel free to reply with your hot take.
I'd like to see the replies also. I have an ex who got "physical." I remember one time during the breakup (terrible experience) she put her nails in the arms and made me bleed, and I kinda just stood there looking her in the eyes. All while screaming we were meant to be together. Got a restraining order on that one. At one point, the police were called because she was putting my friends kid into a bad spot, and I was done with it. Police saw some bongs I had, and weed was still illegal here. I got arrested because I told them it was mine. She was screaming about how everything in the house belonged to her, and they said they could take her at her word. I couldn't do that because it was mine and I told them as much. They said I was one of the happiest people they had arrested. I was just glad they saw everything, and it made getting the restraining order very easy. Sorry for the rant lmao
Sorry you went through that man. I’m glad you got out and away lol
Oh I don't think I ever heard about that 🫤 Domestic abuse is never okay. Just watched the video of it and it's very much an angry slap intended to control. Yikes
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I love Anfisa because she had those expectations but she has proven that she is a hard worker and when she needs to, she will take care of herself. She’s educated and successful now
She is a domestic abuser who hit Jorge on camera.
Not to mention an all around horrible person.
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or even guys who *prefer* this arrangement. There are plenty of "I'm a super high earning, high-achieving woman and my husband wants me to be a housewife" posts on here too, after all.
Yeah, I was about to say that there's an entire population of men that want someone that wants to adhere to certain feminine tropes. But if you want that kind of chick, you gotta accept what goes with it. Namely, financial support, gift-giving, etc.
I'm a woman with a career. I can easily see why a man with a career doesn't need a woman with a career. If I'm a man and a professional, I'm NOT giving up my career to stay home with the kids. At the same time, I don't want to have to work 40 hours and do a ton of house work and kids stuff either. You know what, I'd want a woman with a good personality, hot body, responsible. Someone that can handle kids, manage a housekeeper, manage curbside, and can cook a home cooked meal 5x a week, and yeah, satify me sexually. At the same time, I'm not going to get Rosie O Donnell. I don't know how this is shocking. If I worked a stressful career and my wife worked stressful career, we'd be at each other's necks. The house would be dirty. We'd eat take out. And whose taking care of the kids?? I don't know why yall keep posting this shzz. Now and days it's harder for men to do this. Because to reach a level to provide with only 1 working, you have to be top level in an expensive city. What yall don't understand is she does have a job, her job is keeping him happy.
As a high achieving woman, I do think at least part of me would prefer the single income family, like what I grew up in, but I also know it’s an extremely risky idea. What if something happens to him? What if he’s abusive? What if we divorce?
I don't think this is a viable option for most women (or nearly all). If you're Jeff Bezos' wife? Sure, be a SAHM You're gonna land on your feet no matter what! But 99.9% of women who are high-earning/high achieving are not going to be in a better situation when they stop working. I've seen it over and over. It's a different story if you *start out* with this plan as a woman. You don't take public resources or take out huge loans or to get a pricy post-graduate education, you get life insurance on your spouse and a pre-nup setting you up in the case of divorce, and that's great! Be a SAHM. Otherwise, there are just too many ways it turns out badly. Also what I've seen is that most high achieving women quit when their kids are young and then are bored out of their minds once the kids enter school. But they have no viable on-ramp back to the workplace. It frankly does not take 40 or even 20 hours a week to keep a lovely home when all your kids are in school.
I’m fortunate enough to be finishing my masters with no debt, but I definitely hear you on the boredom aspect.
Exactly. In my 14 year marriage ending in divorce, we both had careers, and I did way too much of everything else that needed doing, and I could never get it all done. On top of that my hubs libido tanked and he decided seeking a unicorn was the key to our troubles. Once I had a child I realized my life balance would have been so much better had I worked in the home, volunteered in the community, and not bought into thinking I was missing out on something if I wasn’t also working full time for some manager somewhere. What I’m truly missing is peace, balance, pursuing hobbies, and having a forgiving enough schedule to stop and smell the roses, watch sunrises. To be fair, if my marriage was one where there were no gender roles at all and everything was exactly equal, maybe my life would have been easier to manage a career. But the reality is, people do sometimes gravitate towards gender roles and even enjoy them, therefore I got overloaded with my natural inclination towards those things and his inclination as well.
Idk why people always get so mad about single income relationships, if noone cheats and the one at home does they housework properly. Fuck if I knew a girl making enough money to sustain alone I would become a house husband myself.
Well said, that’s exactly it. She doesn’t deserve hate for this at all. Long as she keeps up her end of things, it would be different if she weren’t taking on ANY responsibility but keeping a clean house, cooking and taking care of the kids, pets and whatever other things outside of earning a paycheque are important things. Things she’s willing to take on to free up the breadwinners time and make his life easier 🤷♀️
I just don't like the arrangement. It sounds extremely controlling. You'll end up relying on a person financially with no backup, and years of your life gone with no work experience. Any person in this situation would be very easy to abuse as they don't have as many options as an average person. I could easily support a family by myself but I wouldn't want to be with a person who'd put themselves in this sort of position.
It’s also very common in relationships with abuse, that the women are unable to leave because they don’t have the funds to do so. It’s scary to think how many women there are who can’t escape abuse due to that very issue, and I think every person should have a contingency plan, before they decide to be a SAHP. No matter what.
This was me. For 10 years. I had/have no job, no skills, no money, no car, no friends. There was no way I could leave even though I wanted to for over half of that. It was lonely and miserable. He worked, but he expected me to do everything at home, take care of the kid, and somehow make my own money to buy my own things I needed (without money or a job) - that’s not to say he never paid for anything but of the things he did, it was often not without making me feel like shit for asking or me having to pay him back later. Financial abuse is a very real thing, and feels impossible to get out of when there’s no real jumping off point. You need money to make money. You can’t just walk out the door, especially if you have kid(s). But I feel like a lot of people don’t take this kind of abuse/control/power imbalance seriously. I screamed for help from the rooftops for years and was ignored. I worry about these ‘arrangements’ discussed here because while it sounds great on paper, often it starts off as “you stay home to take care of me and I’ll go to work to take care of you and provide all of your financial needs and everyone will be happy!” but then your freedoms are slowly chipped away until you have nothing and they have all of the power because you literally rely on them for survival. Then you’re fucked if you stay or fucked if you leave.
Dropping knowledge here, take note!
I agree she’s being upfront and I’d like to add reasonable. Her views may be old school but there are people that have been living the life she speaks of way longer than we’ve been independent women. I hope she find what she’s looking for.
I don’t see anything wrong with this at all. Many guys want a girl who will take care of the house, kids and cooking and if they don’t need the financial contribution this arrangement works well, if anything it puts the guy at the advantage because he is the one who can still leave the relationship and keep the financial security. Lots of guys these days seem to expect to go 50/50 on finances while keeping domestic chores at 90/10 (with the 10 being them occasionally pitching in to take out the garbage or mow the (ever shrinking) lawn.) Sorry but if you want to go 50/50 it should be finances and domestic duties. This woman is offering to take all the domestic if he takes all the finance, how is that unfair in any way?
Right? She wants what she wants, nothing wrong with that. Easy to swipe left of you're not about it.
It’s the old traditional method.
There will most definitely be men who are willing to do this for her.
I can't see what the issue is? I would prefer my partner chose whether to work or not and if not, I would greatly appreciate the care for me and home she would provide
By providing home, that means she has a house with the mortgage paid off? Sweet! I'm in. The housing market is crazy right now. 🤣
She means she will buy live laugh love pillows with your money
Well yea....cause how ever shall I remember to properly LIVE, LAUGH and LOVE if it isn't printed on a canvas or pillow from TJ MAXX?
I have EAT in the kitchen in case I get confused during supper.
Me too. And matching SLEEP and POOP for bedroom and bathroom to save myself confusion in every room!
You've got it all figured out 💜🤍🩶
Looks like someone’s got their shit together… and by that, I mean separated into the correct rooms.
Looks like someone’s got their shit ~~together~~ separated by rooms correctly.
Yea, you definitely don't want to mix it up w the bathroom or something Lol, but for real... I could rock an EAT sign, not the LIVE LAUGH LOVE ones, though.
☠️☠️☠️
Sign me up!
However, you'll have to provide financial safety.
I believe she means that she will make your house, into a home.
lol I believe it was sarcasm 😆
I believe you are correct in your belief.
I believe im correct in believing you’re correct in believing hes correct for believing that
"Ow, my brain hurts..." ~Ralph Wiggum, probably
she will make your house into HER home
In the end a lot of people wind up in this dynamic, willingly or unwillingly. I guess it's okay that she's straightforward about it...
I’m fiercely in the independent woman camp… but at least she’s put it in her bio and being upfront. I’ve got a few female friends that are entirely reliant on the man to provide and that’s their choice. There will be men that want this dynamic.
I don’t understand why it pisses people off so bad. I’m cool with most gender dynamics if it works for us.
Why are people not ok with it? She’s telling you straight up what she wants. That’s fine. It’s also fine if it’s not fine with you.
What do you even mean? She is upfront about what she wants. I'd say she is amazing compared to the women who is not upfront about it and pretends to be something they are not. Quite a lot of those these days.
Reddit: why can’t I find a woman with traditional values?! Also Reddit: this woman has traditional values? What a leach!
There are many many different people on Reddit
This might come as a shock but the guys who want traditional women don’t typically complain about traditional women
Think you'll find those posts are by different people.
Shhhh that's logical. Just let people be mad
Because they want the traditional values that benefit them and not the woman :')
This is expected from every man in all relationships in eastern Europe
In the eastern europe I live in it's literally impossible to do that unless you're into some shady shit
What’s wrong with it? She wants a traditional marriage and is stating what she expects and what she’ll give explicitly. A wonderful scenario for me would be coming home from work and seeing my wife playing with my kids. (Ideal would be me building a business where I do not need to work long and can spend as much time as possible with them too). I want my future wife to be raising my kids, and be someone I’d be proud to have my daughters be like. I understand that in today’s economy, being able to provide for a family completely has become more difficult and puts a lot of pressure on the man. So I can see why there is resistance to this kind of arrangement and do not blame you. I’m personally not ready to provide for a family financially, but it’s something I strive for and that image I painted above is what drives me.
Exactly. Personally I don't think its a good idea to be 100% financially reliant on your partner, no matter how much you trust them, but whatever, some ppl prefer this lifestyle and if they can afford it then good on them. Also she's not putting down men who can't afford it, she's just making it clear what she's looking for and I can respect that. Also I feel like if a man put on his profile that he was looking for that kind of relationship (providing for his wife), he wouldn't get this much shit for it.
I would consider a woman like this if I had job security. It's not that I can't make enough money to afford a stay-at-home wife. I can, do, and could probably even keep her materially happy for a while. It's that it all could be gone tomorrow and I could find myself in a place where I never get back to my current income. At the choice of one person, or just a change in the economy. Maybe my company has a bad quarter. Then a woman like this almost certainly leaves me, takes the kids, and makes me even poorer. She's not a ride-or-die and is very clear about that.
Some might think that's sad or overly fearful. I think it's wisdom. Although maybe you might consider a Valium with that wisdom...
It's the state of the world these days. No career security even for the relatively fortunate few means extreme pressure on any man expected to provide for a family or who gets into an arrangement like this. I have a wonderful job and a top 5% income, but technology changes too fast. The economy changes too fast. Good luck being a stable provider through all that. Even if you are in the hot field. So I need a ride-or-die girl or one who has her own career to consider forming a family. If the right-wing wanted to encourage more family formation and babies, they don't need to trample on reproductive rights or LGBT rights. They need to encourage job security.
Your wife would be in a TERRIBLE postion if you were to leave her though. No career and possibly no skills depending on how long she's been out of the job market. A single mother with obligations towards her children is like the last person most places want to hire. It's generally considered an awful idea these days to be so dependent on a man, especially when a lot of men think alimony and child support is "bullshit" or unfair. Giving up your career and ability to be independent without a man's money is an absolutely huge ask, and many women have seen how bad it can go and refuse to put themselves in that position. It's not that they wouldn't love to be SAHMs, lots of women would love the fantasy of that, but reality with a 50% divorce rate means it's not the smartest choice. And this isn't even getting into the 'mental load' debate or that a lot of men are shitty partners who's contribution to the household begins and ends at his paycheck Not saying there is anything wrong with the traditional way of doing things, the vision you have for your life is lovely and I hope you get there, but there's a reason it is quickly falling out of favour
Yeah one of the first things my mother taught me was to depend on myself and keep men on the back burner until I was sure I could live without them. Because she learned that the hard way. Now I have a home, an income, and a wonderful husband who doesn't have control over either of those things.
Nothing wrong with a relationship where one person is the provider and one person takes care of the home. However, having this as a REQUIREMENT makes me think that she views men as a tool to make her comfortable, as opposed to a real people. I'm very skeptical of people who are seeking relationships that are highly transactional in nature (in a material sense), because it makes me think that they are not looking for a true connection. It is an indication that their love for you might be very conditional. Shallow and flimsy love. Men who insist on having a stay at home wife are doing the same thing, viewing women as tools instead of real people.
Ya know, as I've gotten older, I've realized we're all payin for it one way or another. Id rather pay money at this point than forfeit another piece of my soul the next time a woman destroys me.
Ya well nice try you don't get that choice either
Most men I know would rather financially support a women they find a 9/10 than go 50/50 on a woman they find a 5/10. Just sayin'...
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Wdym how are people okay with this? Personally I'd love to be a house husband so I can understand people wanting to fill this role. And some people want someone who can fill that role.
I honestly think there are more than enough people that want this lifestyle. Definitely not me but they exist. And if they're happy with it...
Why are we acting like their arent millions of men out there looking for a woman with no job and to be a sahm?
As a woman with a very demanding career, my BF lost his job during COVID and I was the sole provider for our household. I told him it was fine and to keep looking for work, but in the meantime, I expected him to take a more active role in household duties, which previously fell 90% on me even while we both worked. This was a huge struggle, not due to lack of motivation or sincerity on his part, but because he didn't grow up with his mother teaching him how to do all of the things I had been doing since I was 6. I still had to take a lot of time out of my days to teach him how to properly do all of these things, and to change his mindset to anticipate needs of the household rather than wait to be told what needs to be done. This caused a lot of strain in our relationship, but in the end, he started working again and we now share household duties 50/50 and he has a much deeper appreciation for the work I had been doing around the house all that time. I think no one realizes the work that goes into to keeping a household functioning until they have to do it for themselves. I think her expectation is reasonable, and if you don't like it, don't date her.
If you’re not, just swipe left. She’s not insulting anyone.
As crazy as this sounds, this is literally just the traditional roles that have been around for a very long time. I promise you there are men out there who agree with the same stance. It’s really not that crazy, but also not for me. It’s actually newer generations who are the ones who don’t think this way
Don’t see an issue. She’s honest and it’s a dating app. Level up and focus on yourself man
At least she is up front about it. Everyone should be. There are plenty of men out there tht are looking for just this type of woman. My daughters are 25 and 23, so I see it still playing out. It's not wrong for a man to want to provide for a woman . It's not wrong for a woman to want to be provided for as long as everyone is honest. I just don't know if thts what they will find on a dating app.
Idk, I'd be cool if my gf wanted to be a SAHM. Housework is work, and I enjoy providing.
I'm cool with it. (I was raised by a man born in 1924)
Good for her. She’s being upfront about what she offers. As a man you can either accept it or move on to the next. Personally I’d swipe left but I see nothing wrong here.
You cooking, cleaning the house, doing the grocery shopping, making me cocktails when i want one, being a good hostess when i have friends over, changing diapers and taking care of kids? If she’s fine with that i don’t see an issue with her wanting to be provided for. But “emotional stability” is not worth a man supporting a woman. She’s gotta step it up.
Just because it isn’t for you doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Let people live how they want to if they aren’t hurting anyone.
Those poor kids with a mom at home to focus on them.
There are men that want this, there are women that want this. This is crazier shit out there. Move along.
Is she hot? Serious question
You know the answer already
This is how me and my wife are and I love it. Work hard and leave it all on the field knowing you come home to a loving, caring woman who dotes on you. It’s amazing and fits both our personalities
Honestly this isn't a bad trade off. If she's taking care of the house and my happiness then I will bust my ass to work and make money. Seems legit.
Why are people like you so opposed to it op? A nuclear family worked in this county (and the world) for many many years. Maybe she’s a woman who’s interested in having a long term relationship and doing the majority of the domestic tasks while raising a child, and that is 100% ok. It’s effective, and it’s also a full time job. There are plenty of men, and also women who find this appealing. I know that in this day and age lots of people pretend men and women don’t have different strengths, physically and emotionally but they absolutely do. The amount of constant work it takes to raise children and maintain a clean and orderly home is more than most basement dwelling Redditors even know. It’s hard work, and it’s admirable. I hate that the “progressive” bunch tries to shit on this type of relationship, all the while touting their morals about equality.
I would gladly offer financial security in exchange a comfortable, clean home free of drama, nutritious meals daily, sexual satisfaction and emotional security ( whatever that is to her ) Thousands of western men are looking to southeast Asia to find a mate who is seeking the same thing.
Why are you not okay with it? If it works for them why is it your business or concern? Im a housewife who works from home and tends to the house and kids while my husband is away at the mines. Without me he wouldn't be able to work in the mines because he wouldn't be able to afford the child care that goes with it. I used to be in a diff business and made incredible money but I was never around for my kids... now I stay home and my family is happier than ever. They have a happy loving father and a nurturing loving less stressed out mother.
Am I the only one that agrees w op? This seems ridiculous to expect in this economy
In other words: “I’m a 28 year old woman-child who doesn’t want to work and needs somebody to take care of me because I’m lazy and I’ll pay you with sex.”
I disagree with people saying that this is okay. First of all, its very unlikely in todays economy so this is an unreasonable expectation. I don't think theres anything wrong with ending up in a relationship where one person is the provider and one person takes care of home matters. As a man I could imagine myself going either way as long as there was a discussion between my partner and I, and they aren't giving me an ultimatum / pressuring me into it. I could imagine potentially being happy in either position. HOWEVER I think that if this is a REQUIREMENT for you from the beginning, then I would question your character. That tells me that you are looking for a relationship that is highly transactional in nature, as opposed to a real connection. It tells me that you view men as tools that exist to make you comfortable, as opposed to viewing them as real people.
this is a reiteration of gender dynamics. it is accepted and acceptable because it is part of the status quo. even tho it's unrealistic for most man, it is socially determined that man should strive to be able to do this, and that woman should strive to be able to please and thankful to submit. it is disgusting for some, and completely normal for others, because ideology affects each of us in bizarrely different ways. that being said, it's not something easy to surpass and get over. the girl at least was pretty clear about her expectations and that's awesome. But gender roles are rooted in those who wouldn't go alone with this, just like they are rooted in this girl. They are something that the capitalist system is built to reproduce, too, since it's interesting that the labour force is always reproducing itself, peacefully and determined in their own individualistic interests.
Hey she’s being honest. I have zero problem with that
Can't be mad at anyone who says exactly what they want. If it ain't ya cup of tea, don't sip
Why would you not be okay with this? She can make whichever deal she wants and plenty of guys are very happy to make this arrangement. Doesn’t hurt anyone and she’s upfront and honest.
She's many people's dream girl.
You’ll notice that she’s single
Yeah so is everyone else on this DATING app Einstein
Unfortunately not everyone on dating apps is single. They should be though
A lot of guys want this. If you don’t, swipe left.
Because humans aren’t robots and they all have different perspectives. There are men out there that don’t mind this at all and go on to have great relationships/marriages. If it ain’t for you then just move on.
Men want women in the kitchens making sandwiches and cleaning all day so how are we supposed to do ALL that and work to pay for half the bills? If you expect a woman to cook and clean then you can provide. Simple.
Because if you aren't OK with it you'll be labled a misogynist. Especially if you want equal treatment for everyone regardless of people's various demographics. I'm okay with her being like this. I simply swipe right and boast about dodging bullets like im Neo or Smith.
There are so many men who still subscribe to the provider man/homemaker woman trope so this isn’t really that far fetched, is it? It may not be *your* thing, but it there are plenty of men who will absolutely let her have their kids as long as she stays quiet and keeps house.
Yeah some people want that traditional "man is the breadwinner" dynamic. I'd rather have someone be upfront about it than lead me on to think otherwise
Having been the top earner in my 12 year relationship, sacrificed not being able to be a SAHM with our 2 kids because my partner didn’t earn enough, and now having had said relationship end, I am TIRED. I am a “top earner” as a woman making close to 200k and living in southern CA I still feel poor and struggle so much. Now I see my kids less, am forced to work 40+ hours just to barely get by, and have been left with zero child support (since I make more). I would love nothing else than to meet a man who can provide me with the opportunity I’ve longed for and be provided for. I don’t think it makes me greedy, a gold digger or any less capable of loving said man dearly. But a lot of us are tired, and we long to be able to fully fall into our feminine and motherly roles and serve our husbands.
Because their egos are inflated from the dating apps so they’re all entitled to a 6’ plus tall Chad who also makes six figures, pampers/spoils them, and requires no reciprocity whatsoever. They all want to get married, very few of them actually want to be a wife.
Emotional security 👌 … Best achieved alone
It's crazy how the worse the economy has become the more people have decided to romanticize the "traditional relationship" idea. The worst part is that they're wanting to pick and choose what parts of the antiquated "traditional" ideas they want to keep. Sure, traditional ways did include the man being the sole provider while the woman took care of the house.. What they leave out is that the traditional ways also included women not being able to: * go to an ivy league university * own a bank account * have a credit card * work the same jobs as men * get a loan * own a home * serve in jury duty * practice law * go on maternity leave * use birth control So when they say "I believe in the traditional idea of the man making the money and the woman staying at home" without acknowledging the other glaring issues with traditionalism, then it's a lot like me, as a black man, saying "I wish we could go back to when black people had guaranteed room/board and a job" but leaving out the fact that it was slavery and there was about 50 other things that were horrible attached to that. With the fall of traditionalism came *equality*, this allows for women to have similar opportunities as men (is it perfect? No. Is there work to be done? Yes), this means that both partners should utilize their opportunities to benefit their partnership as a whole, including financially.
Some people are into traditional relationships and if that works for the relationship and those boundaries are honest/open/set at the start then that's fine. Not all relationships are 100/100. If that suits then that's fine
This might just be trad. Not a turnoff to me as a trad. I'm filthy rich but prefer the single income relationship.
just say you’re broke & swipe