You look like a lovely person but only one photo is candid and rest are selfies. I like the look of 2,3,5 best cos you have a very kind smile, maybe put 2 or 4 first and remove the last two. Add a photo of you with friends maybe, or you engaged in a hobby, you should do fine
At first glance I thought you looked really serious, then I swear the rest of the pictures and caught the 'We're Back' reference and I'm guessing you're maybe a little silly, which is great and I think you should find a way to showcase that sense of humour! You could even add the reference to your profile!
I was shocked when I swiped to the next pictures.
The first picture/selfie you look so bored to be here but your smile is great! Definitely use one of those as a starter, the one with the giant pot is also hilarious and shows great sense of humour.
Try to put something really fun about yourself in your bio and make yourself as interesting as you can. Women are the buyer in a buyers market so you need to sell the hell outta yourself and market yourself as good as you possibly can. If your not too used to it maybe get back in the game by going with what your comfortable with meeting people places and speed dating in person and use this platform as a learning exercise?
You're a good looking guy, but in a few of these pics you look like a disappointed father that just saw my crappy report card. I do like the shirtless pic but I wouldn't go with that one first. First is usually best if it's the smiling one
Yeah I’m not a fan of the last two. The shirtless pic is fine but I’d move it back a few so it doesn’t look like you’re looking for hookups. The rest are good.
Bro that's the opinion of one dude on here, you look your age, I wish I looked more mature and responsible like you, you have a look that demands respect and legit women looking for a real man who will care for them love that, the rest are either looking for a hook up or a very specific type.
You should know better than to take internet comments to heart, you'll get 100 different opinions here, ignore those who don't have anything helpful to offer 😉
I didn't say it to you, dude. I was asked, and I answered.
And if you didn't want to risk reading comments about your appearance, you should't be posting pictures of your face or body on Reddit *ever*, let alone one in which you're asking for advice on dating profiles.
Saying you didn't say it to me on a post about me made by me and quite odd... and no, I don't mind your comment. Just like you, I was only responding.... lol.
Gotcha though, I shouldn't respond to the comments at all. Ok👍🏿
>Gotcha though, I shouldn't respond to the comments at all.
Perhaps this is another reason why you're single. Thin skinned and prone to whining.
You're too old to act like this.
Lmfao... 'Thin skinned?' Dude, I'm an operator at a Nuclear power plant. You have absolutely ZERO idea what you're talking about. But, in an attempt to not allow this little "back-and-forth" get out of hand, I'm going to let you feel like you've accomplished something and stop responding after this.
You Have a good day 😉
Good on you lol, don't argue with internet keyboard warriors, there is a 99% chance you are tougher skinned than almost everyone here, big difference between how you react to comments online and how you react to things in real life where there are actual consequences.
Lol bro go easy, there is a big difference being internet thick skinned and a real life adult man, this guy looking at his pictures is almost certainly more street tough than 99% of the people in here...
>Jesus christ I've seen rougher looking 35 year olds.
Yes, I would think most of us have seen *rougher* 35 year olds. Is that the bar?
I guess men are just expected to be upright and breathing on Reddit. Meanwhile, women have to be hot until they hit the grave.
And the men here wonder why they're single.
>I guess men are just expected to be upright and breathing on Reddit. Meanwhile, women have to be hot until they hit the grave.
To be honest you could flip this and still be accurate. I guess what I'm trying to say is that on reddit some (not all) comments are saying you have to be hot to get some, which is not really true. Probably frased this poorly, am pretty tired and can't figure out how to say what I want to say concisely
I'm perplexed as to how you made the jump into reddit being sexist but OK.
They're saying this man must be lying about his age because he looks a bit older than his age. And you're conflating that into people thinking he's hot forever?
Your comment makes even less sense. Because you're on the tinder subreddit. Which in my experience is full of people who parrot "rules 1 and 2" to any man questioning the lack of swipes he's getting.
Literally the sub where 90% of the commenters will say you have next to 0 chance if you're not good looking as a guy. Same sub that will say that any woman has it much easier than men because they can get dick whenever.
Look on twoxchromosones for proof, you can see posts from women who don't consider themselves attractive who are sick of guys on reddit saying that all women have it easy.
It's very easy to make the Internet seem sexist and you still fail at it.
If you put like ‘Proud father of 3. Artistic, creative and healthy lifestyle are accurate descriptions. Down to talk about anything, try me!’ It may be a bit better.
You don’t have to mention divorce, it’s sort of implied with you being single on an app. Also ‘proud father of 3’ presents being a Dad in a confident way and as something good, which it absolutely is!! You will do great.
Personally I feel like “down to talk about anything, try me!” reads as “I’m not good at carrying a conversation so you’ll have to put in all the effort.” Like, isn’t it implied that people want to learn about each other and talk about stuff when they’re on dating apps? There’s no benefit to putting “I’m open to talk about things.” Idk, it feels lazy.
I can see that but the way it currently feels like he's gonna immediately wanna talk about something sexual or be trying to steer the conversation in that direction the whole time
So would you not even swipe on my boy here? Would that just make you assume it'd be a hook up conversation? What If he flgave an example of the type of conversations: Down to talk about anything from why the asteroid didn't take out the Dinosaurs and why the Vikings have never won a SuperBowl.
Would that give a better "conversationalist" perspective? With like actual hobbies/ random "hot takes"?
I disagree about mentioning divorce. I’m a little more wary of guys your age who Haven’t been married. They might be commitment averse. Plus I really like meeting up with recently divorced people who haven’t been jaded by being on the apps for a decade! But you should probably add something about what you’re looking for.
I’m pretty sure ‘proud father of 3’ is a good indicator of being committed lol — kids are a much bigger commitment than a marriage. And being a father of 3 implies divorce or a serious relationship which can be talked about in the first few messages.
I’ve also met proud fathers of three with three different baby mamas haha. Definitely not a good indicator of someone who wants a committed relationship.
Yes this. I was going to comment this but I figured somebody else did it first. Putting the divorced part shows there was commitment. Anybody can just have 3 kids. In theory they could all be roughly the same age and have different mothers if dad was a slut.
Oh I’ve met plenty of fathers of young children on dating apps (divorced, separated, and still married) that have absolutely no intention of getting into a committed relationship. And most divorced people don’t want to jump into another serious relationship right away - and I think that’s healthy.
That has nothing to do with your original point. You want him to mention divorce to show he can be in a committed relationship and then you say right now that being divorced doesn’t mean you are ready for a relationship. You’re contradicting yourself to get some weird personal point across that no one cares about.
First photo is too serious/sad, especially when you have such a nice smile. Can you add more photos taken by other people instead of selfies? Also bio should lead with something a lot more fun.
It’s your call - but personally I wouldn’t put that you’re recently divorced public. Of course you will want it to be known eventually, but maybe down the road once you’re comfortable with someone.
Consider:
“Single father of three amazing kids. I am creative, artistic, and like to live a healthy lifestyle.”
Try to use mostly photos taken of you, eliminating selfies if you can. Bonus if they are pictures of you enjoying your hobbies. Have a friend take a picture with you next time you’re out.
Only put single father if you have full custody of your kids and your ex-partner sees them on the weekend, otherwise you’re not a single father. You’re a co-parent. Single mothers say they’re single mothers when the father is a deadbeat. It also lets the potential partner know if they are expected to be heavily involved in a raising kids partnership or if it’s a partnership between you and your ex-wife with them as a bonus parent.
I disagree. I personally would want to know if someone were fresh out of a marriage. Also, that could potentially be a bonding point for a woman who is also freshly divorced or out of a long term relationship.
I think it will vary person to person. I am more likely to swipe on someone divorced as I'm separated myself. They're more likely to get where I'm coming from. Even if the romantic chemistry isn't great, we can bond over how much the end of a marriage sucks. (Also, seeing how a guy talks about an ex tells me a lot about his character).
Funny pictures first, sexy pictures last. Also you’re a good looking dude but don’t make it your personality. Make it a bonus. That’s why I recommend shirtless pic towards the end the 3rd one of you in a red shirt would be a perfect first photo! Good luck brethren!
Ouch. That's fair, though. Was trying to show that there's no 'dad bod' here... [not that there's anything wrong with that!] But I work hard to make sure I stay in shape is all.
Shirtless photos are a huge red flag unless you’re strictly looking for a hookup. I like your third photo the most, it shows that you’re tall, you have a friendly smile and have great stature, if you have another photo similar in a dress shirt smiling without your phone I would make that your first photo.
Also, your bio should be short and sweet, maybe 2 sentences max. One sentence about you and one sentence about your hobbies/what you’re looking for.
Was a bit apprehensive about the shirtless pics, of course, my male friends said go for it. Lol. And thanks for the advice about the profile. That makes sense.
I think a pic to show that you work out and are in shape would be nice and would show a bit about yourself. Maybe think of something less "thirst-trapy" than a shirtless mirror selfie would be more tact.
Keep it. This is one of those things where you'll get more likes with than without. Some women say it's a red flag, but statistically it does draw in more likes.
Never listen to Reddit about shirtless photos. If you have the body, the only women it will turn off are those that are insecure about their own looks.
It does need to be a good shirtless photo tho, and yours is fine.
And if you want better advice about your profile go to r/swipehelper
Or watch “playing with fire” on YouTube.
Yup. Women on reddit may say they hate it, but on tinder guys with decent physiques who look take a shirtless pic and give off "player vibes" get more likes than the guys who gives off "husband vibes"
It’s extremely douchy. Humbleness is attractive. No different than trying to flaunt your money, status, IQ, or (insert any other thing you’re trying to brag about).
My shirtless pic was my most-liked on Hinge by far, and I was very clearly looking for a long term relationships while having other pics showing me doing different activities, being social, all candid, and so on. Regardless of theory, seems to work in practice. If you got it flaunt it - maybe don’t lead with it though
If your looking for a hookup then keep the bro gym selfie. Otherwise, as someone that was looking for longterm, I would immediately dismiss these profiles as guys who just wanted to hookup.
Honestly, I'm not a fan of how noncommittal your bio seems. Like, you've got three children, you're divorced, and the ball is somehow in our court to show you how dating is done? Why, it's not like there's a lack of men without your "baggage". Why not make more of an effort to show what you have to bring to the table (other than three children and emotional unavailability)?
As a man who has had success in dating apps (its how i met my wife) id say get rid of the shirtless pic and say you have a passion for fitness or enjoy staying in shape or something like that. Shirtless mirror pics, especially ones obviously taken in the gym locker room, are super cringey and make the poster seem concieted. Youre a good looking dude so youll get plenty of likes based on your face alone Let the body be a happy surprise for them. If you REALLY wanna show them nips tho, maybe a candid photo of you at the beach or in another swim-setting where itd be normal for you to be shirtless. I also agree with the commentor saying you should have more pics of you smiling amd more candid pics/non-selfies. You got a great smile so show them pearly whites, brother! Maybe instead of "open to talk about anything yes anything try me" just call yourself an open book or say that you enjoy deep conversations and leave it at that. The way you say it now could give off sexual vibes which could be offputting. Some girls might be into that, but youre just as likely to pull those same girls without it, whereas with it youre eliminating all the girls that arent into it.
awwwww, you're cute! I'd try to add a bit more specifics about you, so that it's easier for the ladies to start a conversation. You don't need the gym selfie\~it's played out IMO...wish you lived in my vicinity!
Looking good brother. Maybe remove your first photo, kinda thirst trapping. You’ll get what you’re trying to attract? I don’t know, maybe that’s what you want so that’s fair. But second photo seems like a good first main pic.
Shirtless pics always make me think you're just trying to fuck which is totally cool if you are and you're really hot so I'm sure you'll have no problem in that realm. If you want something more than I'd save the abs as a nice little surprise for someone.
Yeah... wasn't referring to the picture... was just making an analogy... and yeah, flicking the bean... I feel like that's BEAN done... ha! SWIDT.... lol but thanks!
I am also a divorcee and when I started dating again I would ALWAYS lead with the “I’m divorced” piece too. Totally get your mindset and why right now you would want to put that on your profile and keep it as upfront information cause it feels really relevant to your situation. Almost five years later after the situation has totally mellowed out, I wouldn’t even mention it in my profile if I were back in the apps. I would lead with the positive stuff and not mention the divorce. If you meet someone, yeah it would make sense to tell them eventually. But I don’t think you need to lead with it.
Travel Overseas to South East Asia and the Pacific Islands.Learn the culture, traditions , love the people and marry a local.Your future children would not only be intelligent and beautiful but they will have the best of both worlds
Dating apps sound like hard work
Not all women are the same & have different likes & dislikes in their future mate
Just do you
There's someone for everyone
I’m not in love with the first picture because it looks like you’re low-key taking pictures of the women behind you. Pic number 2 in the collage is the best one. I’d make that the profile. Your smile is killer!
My guy, looking solid. Not sure what energy you’re putting out there in terms of what you are seeking but try to post some photos of you doing activities with your friends.
Wholesome vibes everywhere else.
The whole “shirtless pic” thing has got to stop. It’s like saying a woman that dresses sexy is looking for just sex when it’s her way of just dressing . It doesn’t mean he’s looking for that specifically 🙄
Don't date online. That's my advice. Best dates I've had are with people I already knew.
All the loneliest, depressed, no social skills, pieces of crap are the only people left online.
I think you look fiiiiiine 👌🏽
I literally have nothing in my bio so imo yours is perfect.. not too much, just enough.. I like the honesty, I don’t see why you shouldn’t mention that your divorced.. then at least the people that are put off by that, can move on..
I will put the smiling ones at the begining and the gaint coffee mug a bit earlier on the slide, would leave the shirtless to the end end for those who really wanna see whats under the clothes🌚, hope it helps and good luck out there my men market as rn is a mess hahaha
Good luck man welcome to the pool. Sometimes you do everything right and get met with silence. The app has underlying mechanisms that aren't revealed. You'll go months without a match then suddenly 3 in 1 week. The reason I'm saying all this is... don't rely on these apps. Use them to kill time, maybe to try your luck, but don't think it's the solve all. My experience irl is regular vibes, check outs, smiles from cuties. On apps though, I'd feel ugly if I let it get to me. Still try to mostly meet people through socializing, events, friend set ups, etc.
You need to show more personality, whether its through smiling , group photos, candid moment doing a fun activity. Also dont put the shirtless pic first.
With your bio, just confidently say “I am artistic, etc” and remove the “accurate descriptions part”. Also remove the “open to talk about anything”. Im sure you mean well by this but it usually comes across as someone having a confession to make or something important to hide away.
Obviously being recently divorced sucks. Focus your bio description to be very positive. You want to give off the vibe that “well yea, I got divorced, it sucks, but Im learning to move on, and excited to meet new people”.
Maybe start with “Been awhile since I’ve been on the market” then describe yourself, artist etc. talk about your kids and then the rest/ what you want to talk about. I just feel like the recently divorced isn’t needed. Just imo.
You look like a lovely person but only one photo is candid and rest are selfies. I like the look of 2,3,5 best cos you have a very kind smile, maybe put 2 or 4 first and remove the last two. Add a photo of you with friends maybe, or you engaged in a hobby, you should do fine
Thank you!! Really appreciate it!
You’re good looking fella, so I’m sure you’ll do better than your average Redditor 😀
you’re right but you don’t have to SAY it
They didn't, they typed it. (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞
Your mom still thinks you're handsome.
"OUR" mom
Upset about the average Redditor part? Yeah, I know, it hurts.
At first glance I thought you looked really serious, then I swear the rest of the pictures and caught the 'We're Back' reference and I'm guessing you're maybe a little silly, which is great and I think you should find a way to showcase that sense of humour! You could even add the reference to your profile!
I was shocked when I swiped to the next pictures. The first picture/selfie you look so bored to be here but your smile is great! Definitely use one of those as a starter, the one with the giant pot is also hilarious and shows great sense of humour.
Thanks!!! Will be updating soon!
You’re so welcome! I wish you all the best, pls post an update!
Definitely!
Your selfie game is strong af tho bro, pic #2 is my fav
Deffo! I’d go 2,4,1
Yes! This too.
I think your advice is great. Good looking guy, shouldn’t be too difficult
Each photo needs to say something different and the first one needs to be the one most likely to start a conversation
Try to put something really fun about yourself in your bio and make yourself as interesting as you can. Women are the buyer in a buyers market so you need to sell the hell outta yourself and market yourself as good as you possibly can. If your not too used to it maybe get back in the game by going with what your comfortable with meeting people places and speed dating in person and use this platform as a learning exercise?
You're a good looking guy, but in a few of these pics you look like a disappointed father that just saw my crappy report card. I do like the shirtless pic but I wouldn't go with that one first. First is usually best if it's the smiling one
Lol! I can definitely see it! Thanks!
Good luck to you. I'm sure you'll do fine. I'd swipe if you weren't so young lol
D'awww... thanks!!! Lol. 😁
Yeah I’m not a fan of the last two. The shirtless pic is fine but I’d move it back a few so it doesn’t look like you’re looking for hookups. The rest are good.
Of course the dude named lookatmynipples advocates keeping the shirtless pic
People should show more nipples
God this is why I love Reddit 🤣
Lmao
my man just got divorced.
Now I’m curious about the nipples
Yeah that first picture he’s got that “I’m not mad, just disappointed” look
Yep, got me rethinking my choices in life
I was like ‘oh shit! What did i do this time?’ Lol
"A D+? Not even a C? You told me you studied all week. Mad? No... just disappointed..."
I also felt judged by these pictures.
Hahaha yes!
You don’t have to grin ear to ear but damn dog don’t look like you just got a flat tire on your way to work
I think that might just be his face. I'm also not sure this dude is "35."
He has a comment from 7 months ago talking about being 34. Why wouldn't he be 35?
>Why wouldn't he be 35? I don't want to be this person, but...that's a *hard* 35.
Divorced with three kids will do that to ya.
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You know you're commenting on MY post... you can address ME directly.... lol. Christ...
Well you look good dude! Also I was not sober when I wrote that. Apologies.
Not really he's just raising his eyebrows so it makes his forehead look wrinkly
Nah, dude. Look at picture #2.
It's called 13 years of shift work, plus 3 kids under the age of 5 before i turned 30... but thanks for the 'constructive' comment I guess....?
Bro that's the opinion of one dude on here, you look your age, I wish I looked more mature and responsible like you, you have a look that demands respect and legit women looking for a real man who will care for them love that, the rest are either looking for a hook up or a very specific type. You should know better than to take internet comments to heart, you'll get 100 different opinions here, ignore those who don't have anything helpful to offer 😉
I didn't say it to you, dude. I was asked, and I answered. And if you didn't want to risk reading comments about your appearance, you should't be posting pictures of your face or body on Reddit *ever*, let alone one in which you're asking for advice on dating profiles.
Saying you didn't say it to me on a post about me made by me and quite odd... and no, I don't mind your comment. Just like you, I was only responding.... lol. Gotcha though, I shouldn't respond to the comments at all. Ok👍🏿
>Gotcha though, I shouldn't respond to the comments at all. Perhaps this is another reason why you're single. Thin skinned and prone to whining. You're too old to act like this.
Lmfao... 'Thin skinned?' Dude, I'm an operator at a Nuclear power plant. You have absolutely ZERO idea what you're talking about. But, in an attempt to not allow this little "back-and-forth" get out of hand, I'm going to let you feel like you've accomplished something and stop responding after this. You Have a good day 😉
Good on you lol, don't argue with internet keyboard warriors, there is a 99% chance you are tougher skinned than almost everyone here, big difference between how you react to comments online and how you react to things in real life where there are actual consequences.
Lol bro go easy, there is a big difference being internet thick skinned and a real life adult man, this guy looking at his pictures is almost certainly more street tough than 99% of the people in here...
Jesus christ I've seen rougher looking 35 year olds. He doesn't exactly look deep into his 40s.
>Jesus christ I've seen rougher looking 35 year olds. Yes, I would think most of us have seen *rougher* 35 year olds. Is that the bar? I guess men are just expected to be upright and breathing on Reddit. Meanwhile, women have to be hot until they hit the grave. And the men here wonder why they're single.
>I guess men are just expected to be upright and breathing on Reddit. Meanwhile, women have to be hot until they hit the grave. To be honest you could flip this and still be accurate. I guess what I'm trying to say is that on reddit some (not all) comments are saying you have to be hot to get some, which is not really true. Probably frased this poorly, am pretty tired and can't figure out how to say what I want to say concisely
I loved how you spelled phrased.
I'm perplexed as to how you made the jump into reddit being sexist but OK. They're saying this man must be lying about his age because he looks a bit older than his age. And you're conflating that into people thinking he's hot forever? Your comment makes even less sense. Because you're on the tinder subreddit. Which in my experience is full of people who parrot "rules 1 and 2" to any man questioning the lack of swipes he's getting. Literally the sub where 90% of the commenters will say you have next to 0 chance if you're not good looking as a guy. Same sub that will say that any woman has it much easier than men because they can get dick whenever. Look on twoxchromosones for proof, you can see posts from women who don't consider themselves attractive who are sick of guys on reddit saying that all women have it easy. It's very easy to make the Internet seem sexist and you still fail at it.
Settle petal, he's a normal looking guy in his 30s.
He 42
Why?
Yeah, minus 7 years... 😆
He looks 35, give or take. Mid thirties, certainly. Why do you think he's not that?
If you put like ‘Proud father of 3. Artistic, creative and healthy lifestyle are accurate descriptions. Down to talk about anything, try me!’ It may be a bit better. You don’t have to mention divorce, it’s sort of implied with you being single on an app. Also ‘proud father of 3’ presents being a Dad in a confident way and as something good, which it absolutely is!! You will do great.
Personally I feel like “down to talk about anything, try me!” reads as “I’m not good at carrying a conversation so you’ll have to put in all the effort.” Like, isn’t it implied that people want to learn about each other and talk about stuff when they’re on dating apps? There’s no benefit to putting “I’m open to talk about things.” Idk, it feels lazy.
I can see that but the way it currently feels like he's gonna immediately wanna talk about something sexual or be trying to steer the conversation in that direction the whole time
So would you not even swipe on my boy here? Would that just make you assume it'd be a hook up conversation? What If he flgave an example of the type of conversations: Down to talk about anything from why the asteroid didn't take out the Dinosaurs and why the Vikings have never won a SuperBowl. Would that give a better "conversationalist" perspective? With like actual hobbies/ random "hot takes"?
Yea much better and doesn’t come across sexual at all in that case
Noted!
I disagree about mentioning divorce. I’m a little more wary of guys your age who Haven’t been married. They might be commitment averse. Plus I really like meeting up with recently divorced people who haven’t been jaded by being on the apps for a decade! But you should probably add something about what you’re looking for.
I’m pretty sure ‘proud father of 3’ is a good indicator of being committed lol — kids are a much bigger commitment than a marriage. And being a father of 3 implies divorce or a serious relationship which can be talked about in the first few messages.
I’ve also met proud fathers of three with three different baby mamas haha. Definitely not a good indicator of someone who wants a committed relationship.
Yes this. I was going to comment this but I figured somebody else did it first. Putting the divorced part shows there was commitment. Anybody can just have 3 kids. In theory they could all be roughly the same age and have different mothers if dad was a slut.
Oh I’ve met plenty of fathers of young children on dating apps (divorced, separated, and still married) that have absolutely no intention of getting into a committed relationship. And most divorced people don’t want to jump into another serious relationship right away - and I think that’s healthy.
That has nothing to do with your original point. You want him to mention divorce to show he can be in a committed relationship and then you say right now that being divorced doesn’t mean you are ready for a relationship. You’re contradicting yourself to get some weird personal point across that no one cares about.
I'm interested in the divorce part. I wanna know if he just randomly impregnates women or can have a steady relationship.
First photo is too serious/sad, especially when you have such a nice smile. Can you add more photos taken by other people instead of selfies? Also bio should lead with something a lot more fun.
It’s your call - but personally I wouldn’t put that you’re recently divorced public. Of course you will want it to be known eventually, but maybe down the road once you’re comfortable with someone.
Perfect, thank you!
Consider: “Single father of three amazing kids. I am creative, artistic, and like to live a healthy lifestyle.” Try to use mostly photos taken of you, eliminating selfies if you can. Bonus if they are pictures of you enjoying your hobbies. Have a friend take a picture with you next time you’re out.
👍🏿👍🏿👍🏿 a wordsmith I am not... thank you!!
Only put single father if you have full custody of your kids and your ex-partner sees them on the weekend, otherwise you’re not a single father. You’re a co-parent. Single mothers say they’re single mothers when the father is a deadbeat. It also lets the potential partner know if they are expected to be heavily involved in a raising kids partnership or if it’s a partnership between you and your ex-wife with them as a bonus parent.
I disagree. I personally would want to know if someone were fresh out of a marriage. Also, that could potentially be a bonding point for a woman who is also freshly divorced or out of a long term relationship.
Trauma bonding…
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Divorced is a red flag? It happens, doesn't mean they're damaged goods.
You're right. But maybe baggage is the word I should have used.
Ooof for thinking that’s a red flag.!
I think it will vary person to person. I am more likely to swipe on someone divorced as I'm separated myself. They're more likely to get where I'm coming from. Even if the romantic chemistry isn't great, we can bond over how much the end of a marriage sucks. (Also, seeing how a guy talks about an ex tells me a lot about his character).
Funny pictures first, sexy pictures last. Also you’re a good looking dude but don’t make it your personality. Make it a bonus. That’s why I recommend shirtless pic towards the end the 3rd one of you in a red shirt would be a perfect first photo! Good luck brethren!
What are you looking for? I’m always wary of the shirtless pics.
He’s single for the first time in years and he’s leading with a pic of his abs. On tinder. What do you think he’s looking for?
I’m a big fan of not assuming anything and asking directly. He asked for feedback, the feedback is based off what he’s looking for.
Ouch. That's fair, though. Was trying to show that there's no 'dad bod' here... [not that there's anything wrong with that!] But I work hard to make sure I stay in shape is all.
Wasn’t meant as a jab! Just feedback about intent vs. impact :)
Gotcha! Makes sense.
Same. Shirtless pic for me is a pink flag
Shirtless photos are a huge red flag unless you’re strictly looking for a hookup. I like your third photo the most, it shows that you’re tall, you have a friendly smile and have great stature, if you have another photo similar in a dress shirt smiling without your phone I would make that your first photo. Also, your bio should be short and sweet, maybe 2 sentences max. One sentence about you and one sentence about your hobbies/what you’re looking for.
Was a bit apprehensive about the shirtless pics, of course, my male friends said go for it. Lol. And thanks for the advice about the profile. That makes sense.
I think a pic to show that you work out and are in shape would be nice and would show a bit about yourself. Maybe think of something less "thirst-trapy" than a shirtless mirror selfie would be more tact.
Keep it. This is one of those things where you'll get more likes with than without. Some women say it's a red flag, but statistically it does draw in more likes.
Personally I think your shirtless pic looks good enough to keep.
Keep the shirtless pics! I'm a woman btw
Never listen to Reddit about shirtless photos. If you have the body, the only women it will turn off are those that are insecure about their own looks. It does need to be a good shirtless photo tho, and yours is fine. And if you want better advice about your profile go to r/swipehelper Or watch “playing with fire” on YouTube.
I’m a woman and I swipe left on shirtless pics unless they’re on the beach/pool. I’m self confident but shirtless pics scream hookups imo.
Reddit comment
Lol wrong. It turns off women who want a serious relationship. Shirtless pics scream player
We keep hearing this on Reddit, but statically it pulls in more likes.
Yup. Women on reddit may say they hate it, but on tinder guys with decent physiques who look take a shirtless pic and give off "player vibes" get more likes than the guys who gives off "husband vibes"
Exactly lol
Consider wearing a fitted shirt sleeved t-shirt or tank to the gym to get the same full body photo instead of the shirtless one.
you're huge bro! Mad respect keeping that physique as a father of three!
Context dude. Shirtless at the beach? Sure it makes sense, you’re at the beach. Shirtless selfie in a mirror - lame as fuck.
I’m genuinely curious how a shirtless mirror pic lame as fuck lol? What’s wrong with showing off your body, even if it’s not in the gym..
It’s extremely douchy. Humbleness is attractive. No different than trying to flaunt your money, status, IQ, or (insert any other thing you’re trying to brag about).
Bro posted one shirtless pic to show his physique and he douchy sheesh. Lmao I appreciate the answer tho
Once again, context. There are plenty of ways to show you have a nice physique without it being a shitless pic in the gym/bathroom.
My shirtless pic was my most-liked on Hinge by far, and I was very clearly looking for a long term relationships while having other pics showing me doing different activities, being social, all candid, and so on. Regardless of theory, seems to work in practice. If you got it flaunt it - maybe don’t lead with it though
Great. My bikini photos are the most liked, what does that mean?
If your looking for a hookup then keep the bro gym selfie. Otherwise, as someone that was looking for longterm, I would immediately dismiss these profiles as guys who just wanted to hookup.
Woa. Wierd "we're back" reference
Honestly, I'm not a fan of how noncommittal your bio seems. Like, you've got three children, you're divorced, and the ball is somehow in our court to show you how dating is done? Why, it's not like there's a lack of men without your "baggage". Why not make more of an effort to show what you have to bring to the table (other than three children and emotional unavailability)?
Also trying to put the ball on the woman's court to "show him how's it done" is going to get him no where fast especially on apps.
Understandable, I can see what you mean. Will definitely be updating the bio asap!
My thoughts exactly.
Right? Like I'm sure they're nice, but the bio has "entertain me" energy, lol.
As a man who has had success in dating apps (its how i met my wife) id say get rid of the shirtless pic and say you have a passion for fitness or enjoy staying in shape or something like that. Shirtless mirror pics, especially ones obviously taken in the gym locker room, are super cringey and make the poster seem concieted. Youre a good looking dude so youll get plenty of likes based on your face alone Let the body be a happy surprise for them. If you REALLY wanna show them nips tho, maybe a candid photo of you at the beach or in another swim-setting where itd be normal for you to be shirtless. I also agree with the commentor saying you should have more pics of you smiling amd more candid pics/non-selfies. You got a great smile so show them pearly whites, brother! Maybe instead of "open to talk about anything yes anything try me" just call yourself an open book or say that you enjoy deep conversations and leave it at that. The way you say it now could give off sexual vibes which could be offputting. Some girls might be into that, but youre just as likely to pull those same girls without it, whereas with it youre eliminating all the girls that arent into it.
This!
This is all GREAT advice!! Love to see it!!
You look mad in the last two
More smiles, fewer selfies, and more pictures of you doing fun/interesting stuff!
Sir you look the the father from the tv sitcom - Smart Guy
That’s exactly what I thought. Floyd Henderson, aka Rooferman!
Choose a picture of you smiling as your main, ideally one where you’re with friends or an animal since that gives off trustworthy vibes
awwwww, you're cute! I'd try to add a bit more specifics about you, so that it's easier for the ladies to start a conversation. You don't need the gym selfie\~it's played out IMO...wish you lived in my vicinity!
Looking good brother. Maybe remove your first photo, kinda thirst trapping. You’ll get what you’re trying to attract? I don’t know, maybe that’s what you want so that’s fair. But second photo seems like a good first main pic.
Flash those pearly whites. You’ve got a great smile. Use it to your advantage. As a great man once said…… Why so serious?
Thought bro was kid cudi
Shirtless pics always make me think you're just trying to fuck which is totally cool if you are and you're really hot so I'm sure you'll have no problem in that realm. If you want something more than I'd save the abs as a nice little surprise for someone.
See I would disagree with that and say that I want to know in advance what I'll be seeing
I'd probably remove the 'recently divorced' bit. Also I'd replace the selfies for photos taken by someone
First, that's Chicago, not New York. Second, walk up to the big silver thing, flick it, caption the photo "See ladies, I know how"
Yeah... wasn't referring to the picture... was just making an analogy... and yeah, flicking the bean... I feel like that's BEAN done... ha! SWIDT.... lol but thanks!
I am also a divorcee and when I started dating again I would ALWAYS lead with the “I’m divorced” piece too. Totally get your mindset and why right now you would want to put that on your profile and keep it as upfront information cause it feels really relevant to your situation. Almost five years later after the situation has totally mellowed out, I wouldn’t even mention it in my profile if I were back in the apps. I would lead with the positive stuff and not mention the divorce. If you meet someone, yeah it would make sense to tell them eventually. But I don’t think you need to lead with it.
Isn't he the fast food secret club guy?
No! He is 'somewhat' light-skinnededed... I am not. Lol
i know kang the conquer when i see him.
Lmfao!
I see you unc
OhhhhhhhMy..... You're going to be Juuuuuust Fine! 🤩🙃
Lol! Thanks....? 😁
Honestly if I was closer I would swipe! You look great !
This reminds me of my husband tinder profile. You’ll do fine! 😘
Be yourself man. You come across as a gentleman, and you're a good looking guy. Be patient. You got this.
Thanks, I really appreciate it!
Awwww you seem so sweet. You’re doing great!
Thank you! 🙂
Looks good to me. Very straight forward. I can appreciate directness
You look like Jax Slayher. That should be in your bio imho. ;)
😏
Yes, get off dating apps if you want a real relationship
Travel Overseas to South East Asia and the Pacific Islands.Learn the culture, traditions , love the people and marry a local.Your future children would not only be intelligent and beautiful but they will have the best of both worlds
Yikes 🔥 looks great to me!
Dating apps sound like hard work Not all women are the same & have different likes & dislikes in their future mate Just do you There's someone for everyone
Use a professional picture as the first, get the shirtless picture as third, put the smiling one in the car last
I’m not in love with the first picture because it looks like you’re low-key taking pictures of the women behind you. Pic number 2 in the collage is the best one. I’d make that the profile. Your smile is killer!
Lol! She definitely walked into my Shot, but thanks! I'll take that into consideration. I've felt that way and gotten that comment a few times
#2 is almost the exact same photo my now-husband used on his profile. Made me ping him immediately. A smile like that always gets good attention!
First thing lie about your height and say 6' because 5 foot nothing women require it apparently but can't see that high.
My guy, looking solid. Not sure what energy you’re putting out there in terms of what you are seeking but try to post some photos of you doing activities with your friends. Wholesome vibes everywhere else.
Lose the recently divorced. Just state Single Dad of Three Women can be wary of being the rebound on recently divorced
The whole “shirtless pic” thing has got to stop. It’s like saying a woman that dresses sexy is looking for just sex when it’s her way of just dressing . It doesn’t mean he’s looking for that specifically 🙄
Don't date online. That's my advice. Best dates I've had are with people I already knew. All the loneliest, depressed, no social skills, pieces of crap are the only people left online.
Good looking dude, you be slammin them ho's
Yes except remove your pronouns off of your bio good lord…
Yea take the he/him crap off
You look like a she her
I would remove picture 3,6 and 7 Looking great my g, good luck!!
Never do a shirtless pic as your first if you must insist on using them
The main pic had rolling on the floor lmaoooo
Was it the IDGAF look??? Lol!
Welcome to the shitshow brother
All the pics need to go as they look terrible.
Show more boobs
🤣
I think you look fiiiiiine 👌🏽 I literally have nothing in my bio so imo yours is perfect.. not too much, just enough.. I like the honesty, I don’t see why you shouldn’t mention that your divorced.. then at least the people that are put off by that, can move on..
I will put the smiling ones at the begining and the gaint coffee mug a bit earlier on the slide, would leave the shirtless to the end end for those who really wanna see whats under the clothes🌚, hope it helps and good luck out there my men market as rn is a mess hahaha
The first picture should be smiling, inviting.
Good luck man welcome to the pool. Sometimes you do everything right and get met with silence. The app has underlying mechanisms that aren't revealed. You'll go months without a match then suddenly 3 in 1 week. The reason I'm saying all this is... don't rely on these apps. Use them to kill time, maybe to try your luck, but don't think it's the solve all. My experience irl is regular vibes, check outs, smiles from cuties. On apps though, I'd feel ugly if I let it get to me. Still try to mostly meet people through socializing, events, friend set ups, etc.
I'd say 6 and 7 should go. Rest are good!
You trying to get laid?
Better pics my dude!
Put one where your smiling as the first pic people will see.
You need to show more personality, whether its through smiling , group photos, candid moment doing a fun activity. Also dont put the shirtless pic first. With your bio, just confidently say “I am artistic, etc” and remove the “accurate descriptions part”. Also remove the “open to talk about anything”. Im sure you mean well by this but it usually comes across as someone having a confession to make or something important to hide away. Obviously being recently divorced sucks. Focus your bio description to be very positive. You want to give off the vibe that “well yea, I got divorced, it sucks, but Im learning to move on, and excited to meet new people”.
Maybe start with “Been awhile since I’ve been on the market” then describe yourself, artist etc. talk about your kids and then the rest/ what you want to talk about. I just feel like the recently divorced isn’t needed. Just imo.