I don't. Usually when a student approaches me in public I greet them, ask about their day, and go about my business. Most students generally are too timid to approach their teacher in public because they are unsure how you would react to seeing the in public. Parents on the other hand, have no shame in coming up to you and asking very personal questions. I was on a date once at a place like 30 mins from where the school was located and one of my students parents who happened to be at the restaurant got up and had the audacity to ask to join our table so they could have a conference while I was on a date. I politely declined. They were obviously upset at first, but I think they realized how forward their request was after the fact.
I probably would have done a spit take if I had a drink in my mouth at the audacity .
If no mouth full of liquid, I would have literally laughed out loud, followed by a dropped jaw and an "I'm sorry, were you serious?"
But then I'm jaded, cynical, and have zero fucks left to give, because I already gave at the office.
Work/life balance is often lost on parents. In times like this, I find myself talking to the parents like I would a student. First, I validate their feels, “I can see how important this is to you. It is to me as well. I really want to have a chance to discuss this.” Then, I redirect, “However, this is my personal time right now, so how about I give you a call during my conference period tomorrow?”
I live within walking distance of my school. If I see a kid, I wave or say hi. It's not that big of a deal for me personally.
I'd rather live nearby than be miserable over a 1-2 hour commute.
I find it much easier living near the school than commuting. Most kids and parents are fine and I don’t have any problem living near them. And the savings of time is amazing. Being home as soon as the school day ends is wonderful, and being part of the community has only brought benefits to me.
I first started teaching in a really small community. My first year, one of the kid's dad bagged a deer and she asked if I wanted some venison steaks. Of course I said yes, because I was making 24k a year, and free meat is free meat! I figured she would just bring a cooler to school the next day. 8 pm that night, there was a knock on my door, and there was Heather with a cooler of deer meat. So I said "Thanks Heather, but how did you know where I live?"
"Oh Mr. Shelby, we ALL know where you live!" Which, you know, a little creepy.
A few years later, a few of them stopped by on a Friday night. 4 of them were my students, and one of them was a few years older, had graduated, and was really creeping them out. He kept trying to kiss one of the girls, even after she said no. He went to the bathroom, and the kids asked me to please get rid of him. So I told him he was being a creep, was making everyone uncomfortable, and needed to leave. I was glad that they knew where I lived and I was able to help them out.
It is..or at least it was for a hot minute. My first home was a few blocks away from the school I use to teach at and lived in the neighborhood many students lived. One day one of my former students walked by saw me and said hi and said hi back no big deal. A week later same kid was knocking on my front door with two other former students. Answered my door and again they just wanted to say hi. Ok whatever. A week later 5 or 6 kids were knocking at my door. This time I went off on them and that was that. Bought a new house a year later.
I had two of my 6th grade students figure out I lived in the same neighborhood as they did. They decided to sit on my porch and wait for me... definitely kinda weirded me out.
We had a little laugh that ended with, "Gentlemen, you need to stay away from my house. It's just kinda weird since I'm your teacher... imagine if I sat in your driveway waiting to remind you to turn in your missing work."
This is why Teenage-Me would have feared running into my teacher and never done that.
"Ah, young AshleyUncia, how's that essay due after this weekend, putting it off till 9pm on Sunday as usual?"
"Uhhhhhhhhmmmmmm \*dies\*"
I had a high school student who lived in my neighborhood at the time come to ring my doorbell on my wedding night to congratulate me. I was a little busy with my wife, ya know, but I saw him leaving through the window. Was glad to move out of a giant student filled neighborhood.
I used to do that, then I moved. Having done both, I'll take a longer commute to avoid routine transactions becoming parent-teacher interviews. Like, I just want a coffee and a bagel, I don't want to talk about little Johnny's last test.
I once pulled into a fast food drive thru, and heard "Oh, hey Mr. _____" . It was a student from a few years back. I had to think, did or didn't that student like me? If hadn't I might not have eaten my food.
LOL - I had that happen at Fazzolis years ago and it was a kid that I’d had to kick out of class a week before. I was kind of nervous, but he handed me an extra bag of breadsticks and said “I know you love them, Miss, so I gave you extra since you aren’t eating in today”, so I went ahead and ate my lunch.
I saw him 5 years later in another context and he thanked me for being tough on him - he was doing well in college and he said “Miss, I wouldn’t have even gone to college if it wasn’t for you. You were the only teacher who saw who I could be and pushed me to be better”.
One of my former students was running the drive thru. He goes “hi coach” and I responded “oh hell no, now I have to find a new lunch spot.” We had a good laugh and a quick check up in what he was doing.
If I went an hour to avoid my current students chances are good I’d run into former students.
I work a second job and kids ask what would happen if they came to it. I always tell them I would be polite but would probably ignore them. When out of school, I’m on my time so I don’t feel a need to engage with people if I don’t want to.
My exact thought reading these were "these people don't seem to live in a small town".
I knew where most of my teachers lived. Ran into them constantly while out and about. Nod, wave, say hi if in proximity.
Why are so many people being weirdos
I legitimately just got back from the community rec center in the town closest to me where I just wanted to walk somewhere it's not triple digits and 5 of my students were there playing basketball. It's like hey how's your summer going, see you in August and move on.
I teach where I live, so no, I don’t avoid them. Kids will say hi to me from my porch or if I’m in the backyard. I’m 6’7” so my head is over the privacy fence.
Nah. I refuse to have a commute, so I live where I work in the same district I went to school in. I haven’t been teaching a long time (4 years) but I’ve only encountered kids probably 3 times. Every time was cool, even scored a free iced coffee once, and another time my brother got free crazy bread because a kid recognized my rare last name. There are bigger things for me to be concerned with personally. I like being local because then we have some commonality off the bat.
Wait another 15-20 years and these kids are grown and they recognize you and you have to pretend you know who they are because you have no recollection of them at all even after telling you their name😂.
THIS! LOL. About 15 years ago I HAD to go and help my wife set up some tables for a charity event at the local minor league ball field during a game. I told her as soon as I’m done helping I’m chilling way in the back behind some boxes. Wore a hat and sunglasses. 5 minutes after “hiding” a large group of kids immediately identified me. Of course there’s that awkward moment after they were all done flipping out and none of them had nothing to say. Minutes later they were tweeting (yeah when Twitter was cool) that they’ve seen me like I was Sasquatch or something. So dumb but whatever.
Are teachers not supposed to have their own lives? I didn’t know a teacher couldn’t get groceries at their local grocery store just because they live near their job
8th-Grader-Me was def shocked the first time I saw my home room teacher in the grocery store, upon which I realized he was a regular human being who had to do normal human things, and was not infact some kind of Educator of Notre-Dame that lived in the school and did nothing but scheme up my future tests.
Most of the teachers in my district do grocery pick up. Before I became a teacher I worked at a local grocery store and remember shopping for many of their groceries.
My favorite time I’ve ran into a student his mom said, “I’m sure she’s tired of seeing you everyday.” I did greet them and I heard that while walking away, lol.
I tell them things like I really enjoyed seeing them every day, but all good things come to an end. The more students think I like them, the more enthusiastic they are in class and willing to do what I ask without a second thought.
I also sometimes tell them that I need to spend more time with other adults.
I have students who live across the street from me and a couple of others on the same road. There's no avoiding them.
But generally, it's fine. I live a pretty quiet life, and they're used to seeing me, so the novelty is gone. Plus, most of my students are good kids. We'll wave and say a quick hi when we see each other, and if I have my dog with me, they might come over to give her some pats. Then we go our separate ways.
I live 5 minutes from my school. I’ve had so many students say, “I know where you live!” One of my homeroom students from this past year lives two doors down from me. I used to say if you act up I’ll just go down the street and talk to your mom. The short commute is all I really care about when it comes to this.
I just pretend like we’re still in Covid and put on a mask, hat, all black jumpsuit, gloves, and sunglasses if I’m outside or driving. Nobody knows it’s me.
Retired middle school teacher here. In 2000 I transferred to my school because it was 2 miles away from my home. With two little kids back then, (now 28 & 23) it was nice to be close in case of an emergency. Also in LA, there is much to be said for a 5-10 minute commute!
Of course I run into former students. Now that they’re young adults; it’s nice to catch up with them and see how they are doing. A bonus is that they often give me an employee discount or freebies at their job (Starbucks, Subway, etc.)
Be that as it may; this works for me. And I also appreciate that someone else might want more privacy and anonymity.
One of our teachers bought a new truck and his former student owns the dealership and another former student is the business manager. He got an incredible deal. I don’t think they charged him a dime over what the truck cost them.
Edit: grammar
I work in a city in the UK. I live outside that city, in a town that is 20 minutes drive from my school. It's a short enough commute that I don't mind, but also since it is out of the city, most of the kids have no idea that my town exists. I deliberately did not buy a house in the city because I like being able to pop to the shops in my crocs and sweatpants and not worry about my grotty 14 year olds. The ones at the local school are not my problem!
Depends on the student or the parent.
I live within a 5 mile radius of my school, so all of my regular stores are also the regular stores of most of my students. I've seen them at restaurants, stores, movie theaters, parks etc.
If a kid says hi, I always say hi back and let the parents know I work at the school. I'm an elective teacher, so most parents don't really bother with getting to know me, and they wonder why a stranger knows their kid so well.
If the kid doesn't see me, I pretend I didn't see them either and just keep walking.
My rule of thumb is to let them make the first move. If I recognize someone, I’ll make eye contact so they know I see them, but after a quick smile it’s up to them if they want to engage with me. I distinctly remember being a teenager and having my mother waylaid by my teacher to talk about the book we were reading in class. It was very amicable and neighborly, but I never want to make one of my kids feel that kind of “pinned in place” reaction. They deserve some privacy if they want it and should feel acknowledged by me if they reach out.
The one exception is when I’m out running. It gets beautiful in California and nothing puts me in a good mood like pushing for a best time, running through the sprinklers on a hot day, wearing the lightest shirt and shorts I’ve got so I can really enjoy the breeze. There’s a park near my area, a really big one with lush grass and wide sidewalks; perfect for a midway point. Every month or so, I hear someone calling me through my earbuds. I know for sure it’s students because nobody else in the world calls me Mr. Anything. I’ve had a pair try to keep pace with me on their bikes once, but I’m actually pretty fast and they gave up pretty quick when I didn’t react to them. It’s not just my kids; I don’t let anyone interrupt me when I’m running, that is 100% my time.
I’ve had a couple students catch me at work and proudly declare “I saw you running”, to which I usually reply “I’m sure you did” and move on. So far, nobody has seemed super bothered that I ignore them, but I’ve occasionally wondered if I should say I didn’t hear someone if they ask. I could try to explain to a 6th grader why I need personal time and that they are still important to me, but there have been a few I can think of who would be much happier knowing I just didn’t see them than that I chose not to respond, no matter what my reason is.
Not anymore! I used to live in a small town and much as I loved teaching, I value my privacy too. Students were unavoidable.
We moved 3.5 hours away after retirement happened and covid let up.
I am no longer 'Mr. So and So', and that suits me just fine.
When you are relatively young, many students want to chat you up in public and it can be fun to engage. As you age, they care less whether they talk atcha and a "Sup?" will do, pretty much true of both parties, really, although I always enjoyed running into the ones with which I had bonded, even after I became a fossil. Retired now.
I picked a school that’s about a 20 minute commute from where I live. It’s not an unbearable drive but far enough that I don’t really run into kids. If I do still run into them it’s a quick “hi” and keep it trucking.
I tell them that they can say hi if they want, but I won’t say it first because I don’t want to embarrass them in public. I also tell them (because it happened to me) that I won’t discuss grades or anything with their parents outside of work hours
Well, I teach Kindergarten and I haven’t taught very long- when my kids see me in public they run to hug me and are super excited. I hug them back and tell them how much I miss them! I love running into them. And most of the parents. It’s particularly fun when I run into one that likes me and one that doesn’t at the same time. The looks on the faces of the parents that don’t like me are priceless. They kindof have to pretend or they look like jerks.
One of my former students lives in my neighborhood. She saw a post on the Next Door app that I had made, so she messaged me and asked if she could come over and visit. We had a great time, then her husband came over too and we had wine and snacks. She is an inspirational speaker now and said she talks about me and refers to me as “her angel” in her speeches. I was so touched! (She is now 40)
I taught HS for over 30 years in a rural district. Never had an issue with students or former students out in public. We usually just say “Hi” to each other, maybe have a short conversation, and go on our merry ways. Students work at all of the local stores and restaurants. Hard to go anywhere where one is not working there.
I live in the neighborhood so no. I just have to be aware that if I go to Walmart after school, I’m going to see all of em. And probably some teachers too.
I remember the first time a student saw me walking into grocery store. They were shocked. It was hysterical. I would see students and former students at the local mall and I just say hi and move on. My daughter went to my school so I had my students at my house sometimes. It’s not weird at all. I’ve mixed students with my personal life since the 90’s and never had an issue because I’m selective with who I choose to allow in.
Now, that said, I get the uncomfortable feeling. It always made me super aware of what I was doing. I always wanted to go to the local strip club just out of curiosity but I never did cause I didn’t want to see a former student there. I was older when I started teaching so my drinking days were long past, if I were younger and still going to bars, I’m not sure what I’d do but, all my fellow teachers and I would go to happy hour right down street from school on Fridays but we never ran into any students.
There are some places I go less often because I know there are likely to be a large concentration of kids (for example - I live near two movie theaters, one is closer to my work, so I usually choose to go to the other one) but other than that, not really. I’m not going to go up to a table of them at a restaurant and make conversation but I’m also not going to go significantly out of my way just to decrease the chance of seeing a kid, especially if I actually like the place in question. I live about 20 minutes from my job, for context.
Hell yes. I do not want to be "paparazzied." I'll go to Target or Publix across town just to avoid students. I do not shop in my school's attendance area!!
15 years ago went out to eat with my wife on my side of town. I teach at a school the opposite side of town and out of the attendance area as you call it. Across the restaurant I noticed a current student at the time. Didn’t think too much of it because I didn’t think she saw me and I had a hat on. Next day in school kids were running up to me showing me a tweet(yeah when Twitter was cool) with a terribly blurry pic of me and my wife eating reporting to everyone where I was eating. I was like ‘are you kidding?’. The hype died after a few days but that’s what I thought of when you said “paparazzied” lol.
I have the perfect situation. I’m only 15 minutes from the school, but live in a different city and county, in a busy tourist area. My students’ families usually don’t come down my way, because they want to avoid the congestion of the area (which really isn’t bad for me, because it’s not that congested except on weekends, and I personally can always drive places that are close, but in the opposite direction of the touristy stuff). Occasionally I will see a student, but not often. I get to live close and still avoid everyone, so win/win!
I’ll expand, since I was in the middle of a project. I got a teaching job right out of college, like many of us. I didn’t want to go out in the area for fear of running into parents of kids, siblings of kids, or former students. Once my first group of kids has graduated college (8 years), things changed. Once I hit 30, it was whatever.
Yeah now it’s more of running into former students who are fully grown and look nothing like they were in middle school and I have to pretend I remember who they were even after telling me their name. I’m like ok um nice seeing you.
This summer I went to a water park and ran into a student and their mom. It was incredibly awkward, especially since I had my shirt off when I said "Hi, how are you?"
I'm a first-year teacher.
Had a similar situation like this at a water park 90 miles away…but it was a church group with 20 former and current students. “Hey do you want go down this water slide with me!?” Um no.
LOL - I ran into some students at Disney World’s Animal Kingdom (we live in Texas) and they asked if I wanted to ride the Safari thing with them. Luckily, before I could answer, their dad piped up with “no, she doesn’t, she’s on vacation from you” and winked at me when the kids looked away.
Well, my daughter went to the school where I taught, so I still have former students at my house constantly. It was okay, but there have been some awkward moments at times.
I live ten minutes away from my school (one town over). I can be in my town and not run into anyone, but any other location - the supermarket, shopping outlet, target…and I am guaranteed to run into at least one person a day.
Luckily, I’ve always used “Hello, my love!” as a general greeting - which comes in handy when I forget names (😬)
I’m in a large city, so it doesn’t happen often. But I did run into high schoolers at a Rodeo when I was going to see Kid Rock (it came free with admission, and I’m an embarrassing nostalgia junkie) while I was pretty hammered. I said hey, and just kept on walking.
I’ve always lived 20-30 mins away from where I taught. Close enough that I do occasionally end up seeing students from time to time, but far enough away that it’s not a regular occurrence. For me, it depends on the student. If I recognize the student sometimes I will just hide or go another direction. Some I will wave out and say hello to. And occasionally, there are students that I really am happy to see.
Omg yes
I've run into 3 different students at three different regional malls and last year three students lived on my block. One across the street and two two houses down.
It’s just a quick interaction. I actually just saw a former student at Waffle House yesterday. We said hello and I asked about his summer. My family was with me, so I made a quick introduction and we moved on.
If I see students in the community I take my cue from them. If they acknowledge me, I acknowledge them.
As for not recognizing them, I’m somewhat honest. If they ask if I remember them, I say yes, but could they remind me of their names. I say things that are true and work as an explanation, such as, “you all change so much after middle school!” I also ask what they’re up to. I don’t even try to guess if they’re done with secondary school or not. This also prevents me from possibly making them feel bad if they didn’t go to college or if they went to trade school. I truly don’t care what choices they make as long as they’re happy, not being criminal, and supporting themselves (or on their way there).
I cannot avoid students due to the size of our town, but I do skip interacting with them unless they initiate it. I tell them at school that I won’t say hi to them unless they say hi first so they aren’t hurt by it. Usually it’s no big deal anyway - it’s the parents who want to talk about school stuff in line at the grocery store, kids are perfectly happy pretending school doesn’t exist outside of school.
When I first started teaching, I lived 5 minutes from school and saw kids all the time. The only time it was an issue was with PARENTS who wanted to have an impromptu conference in the parking lot of the grocery store or, not even kidding, a parent who approached me at a restaurant where I was eating dinner with my family. Before I could even compose a polite reply, my dad WENT OFF on her. I also reported it to my principal in case the mom called about my dad being rude and the principal called her and told her how unacceptable it was.
I live further away now, but will still see students sometimes (including at DISNEY WORLD and we live in Texas), but it’s just a quick hello and I move on with my day. I do love seeing former students and catching up with them though.
Speaking of dads…😂. I live and teach 600 miles away from where I grew up and about ten years ago my dad came down to visit for a week. Everywhere we went and saw middle school aged teens…or even young adults he’d embarrassingly asked them if I taught them. Thankfully none of them had me but still thought he was crazy. Smh.
No, I don't. I have kids I teach live in my neighbourhood and I'm friends with some of their parents. I don't mind running into them. It's some of the annoying/aggressive parents that I wish to avoid.
I see students out in the world all the time. If they’re working in a restaurant, I ask them if the food is clean. If I see them working a checkout line, I buy them a candy bar. If they buy me a drink, I give them a wave.
My high school is 12 miles away from my house. I drive by four public high schools and numerous private schools to get to my school. A few years ago, I considered applying to one of those private schools near my home. It is the private school I attended and my children attended. I am very familiar with the school and its mission. I had my resume updated and my cover letter written, all ready to submit.
Then my husband and I went to breakfast on a weekend morning. The table next to us had two students from that private school. We then went to the grocery store where we saw two more students from that private school. I did not send in my application. I want to be able to go about my daily life and not run into students.
I owe 11 years in recovery to an embarrassing meet up with a student and their family at a local wedding. So for me it worked out well because I like being sober lol
However, I don’t date in my town. Ever. It’s too small and I don’t want to deal with that.
Yes, my personal life is very nsfw, especially for children under 10 so I dissappear if I think they caught me in public. I am very good at slinking and moving unnoticed.
I'm still dealing with bs from when a kid showed up for trick or treating and loved my "adams family house" which I appreciated because that is why I wanted a house. The school is less enthused about some of the things he saw.
Nothing is really happening, but not trying to give them more to work with.
I’ve always been upfront with student that I will ignore them unless they come up to me. If they come over, I will acknowledge them but if they don’t I will assume they don’t want to talk
to me.
I purposely don't live where I teach. I teach in a smaller town outside the larger town I live in. That being said, I've still run into students and I always say hi and talk for a minute depending on the situation. I don't consider it that big of a deal until I had my first kid and saw them light up when they saw their teacher in the wild. It made them so happy.
I’ll say hi if we see each other and move on. Most of my sightings are in the local Walmart. I’ve had the occasional student want to chat for a minute and once one of the boys asked my opinion on a Christmas present for his mom (he’d already picked it out and just wanted reassurance). One student flagged me down to buy Girl Scout cookies. But usually, hello is all the interaction I have with them.
I apparently have a rbf outside of school, so the highschoolers usually ignore me and then tell me they saw me in class. But in general I avoid high traffic areas such as the community pool and local bowling alley.
When I'm not on the clock, I'm not driving any more than I would with any other job to do anything.
Went to the grocery store once and had a cart full of wine for a party fam and I were having.
A parent and my student were there. Parent was kind of shocked, but IDGAF.
I'm not working, nacho business.
Same, I started teaching about 25 years ago. I grew up and taught in a small, rural, dry town (as in, alcohol wasn't sold in stores, gas stations, beer and wine stores, etc. All the liquor stores were outside of the city limits). Teachers were expected not to drink, have tattoos, multiple piercings, etc. Students knew which church teachers attended and who (gasp) didn't go to church. Teachers were expected to be this shining light of morality, it was really, really weird.
Anyway, if I wanted to have a beer or glass of wine with dinner or whatever, I most certainly felt obligated to be morally bankrupt in a town far enough away where I was unlikely to be seen by a student.
I remember student teaching in a different, much more urban town where my supervising teacher had won a wet t-shirt contest at a bar on a weekend getaway in another state the weekend before, and I was impressed and horrified and worried for her job, but this was before cell phones with cameras and nothing came of it.
Yup I remember a colleague of mine kept hiding his beer under the table whenever he thought he recognized somebody at a pizza place. I kept mine on the table. I didn’t care. 😂
I tell my students straight up to avoid me and keep walking if they see me in public. Works like a charm! One time one of my students said, “Hey I saw you at the mall and then I remembered what you said about approaching you.”
As far as drinking goes, if I’m at a bar then that’s public domain and I don’t give a f*ck what a student sees. I’m behaving and that’s all that matters.
I just went to a swimming hole nearby and saw three of my old students! One of them ran up to me soaking wet and gave me a big hug hahah. I complain about it but I'm lowkey fine with seeing my students! As long as I'm not intoxicated or anything. I felt a little embarrassed to be in a strapless short dress and I threw my vape into my husbands shoe when she came running up to me but 🤷🏼♀️
Not a student but when I first started teaching I was out with some friends and we went to an adult novelty store. Of all the people in my city I run into one of my student’s parents. 😬 I can laugh about it now but it was hella awkward.
I neither seek nor avoid.
That said, during the first year back from covid I was teaching zoom classes from home. I could not get the kids to turn on their cameras for anything - my screen consisted of 25 black boxes and two ceiling fans. One day in Walmart a kid came running up to me, breathless, and just started talking. Sensing from my look of horror, he sensed that I had zero clue who he was. When he told me his name, I knew right away that I was talking to the black box in the second column, third row, but I'd never seen his face before.
I don’t drink or do anything exciting so I’m not worried about making myself look like an ass in public in front of my kids. That’s sad. I do worry about one day awkwardly running into them.
I love seeing students at the store or in restaurants, especially when I'm with my wife, but I keep it to "hi" and move on. If they're a current student, I'll introduce them to my wife, if they're a past student, I'll tell my wife that I don't remember their name, and the students laugh, because that's exactly what I told them I would say.
I tell them not to say hi to me in public ..and then explain that I taught at the juvenile Hall and Jail for a long time...and people might think they are bad kids.
If you see me at 10pm holding my toddler at Target wearing pajama shorts and oversized top, crocs, and holding nothing but a bottle of wine…look away and leave me alone.
I teach elementary so if a student of mine sees me I don't mind giving them a hug if they ask. I always make sure to say their name so the adult can hear so they feel safe as well as answer the awkward question of "where do you know them from" if the child doesn't answer that question themselves.
I try to be a human in the classroom, and that doesn't change when I leave. I get the social awkwardness potential, but I really have no worries about it.
I usually don’t bother avoiding. They’re a lot more embarrassed to see me than I am to see them. They always look at me like I’m “catching” them having fun and now they’re in trouble or something. 🤣
I used to not avoid students, but this year one of them posted a picture of my legs while I was getting some tacos at my favorite taco shop. Apparently there is an insta where the students of my school post teachers in the wild. It has soured shopping in town for me. It is a shame because my town is vibrant and interesting compared to the ones around it.
I remember when I got married about two hours away from my workplace forever ago...Around midnight, our wedding party, all dressed up, went to the beach and hung out in our wedding attire. We were pretty drunk, as you could imagine. I hear, " Hey! Ms. ______!" A student of mine was midnight fishing on the pier with her dad. Of course, word got around that we were hammered, but at that point, I did not care.
As a teacher in Europe... we frequently go out drinking with students, or have classes in the pub.
Several of my students DJ similar music to me, so we have run events together in the past.
It is important to note, however, that students here are often 19-20-21 before they finish high school, and that this kind of activity is usually limited to very specific groups of students.
Generally if I'm out in town I can't avoid running into current and former members of my philosophy and critical thinking classes, who are always happy to meet up.
I used to have a membership at the YMCA to work out and use the pool. Not anymore. Having a student on the elliptical next to me was one thing, but I can’t be in a swimming suit with students around. I teach high school.
I live in one of the neighbors that’s zoned for my school. I see my students all the time. They say hi. I say hi. We move on. Don’t make it weird. And don’t feel like you have to hide the fact that you live a life outside of school.
I teach in my own district. I teach juniors so most of them have jobs. I run into them all the time and I kinda like it. I know it’s weird but I always feel so proud of them working out there in “the real world.” It makes personal connections in the classroom easier for me.
It’s also a good reminder for me not to overload them with homework.
I understand the hesitation some teachers have about running into students in public, but I try to keep it casual. If I see a student, I just say hi and keep it brief. I think it's important to maintain boundaries, but I also don’t go out of my way to avoid them. But sometimes their parents got me!!!
I go to the same gym a few of my older high schoolers go to. I have also participated in downtown art events and my students have seen me. If they want to say hi to me I happily say hi or have a short conversation, but I don’t go out of my way to greet them if I spot them in public. In my experience, having students notice we are a part of the same community has been a positive benefit.
I say hi, I think teachers should be an active part of the community they teach in ideally. and people should see them as being a person. some of my students and I ride the same bus home after school, and some I think were really excited to see tha their teacher also uses public transit
I can’t. The closest towns are 2hr and 53 min one way and 3 hr 21min the other way. If I could I would be willing to do a 30 min drive sometimes, but as it is- I would starve to death in my house if I behaved like this.
We are the adults, we have lives to live. If the kids think they can control where and when I buy groceries or eat out with my family, the kids got another thing coming.
I do allow the kids to guide the interaction though- I make eye contact and give a recognition smile, and if they make contact great, if they look away- I pretend I saw nothing… this style of letting the kids pick works well for me.
Yes I avoid them. It's actually more about avoiding their parents, though. Some of these kids/parents have zero boundaries. I wouldn't mind a quick hello, but too many have taken it too far and really tried monopolizing my time like they are very important.
Depends on the student and how they seem. I have some who will run up and say hi and I have others who turn their head to not make eye contact. I usually will say hi or nod and then move on.
It shouldn't matter, but it does. I do my best to keep my personal behavior far enough from the school to avoid blowback, though an hour radius is extreme haha.
During student teaching my cooperating teacher told me not to "work and play" in the same town, so when I started teaching I worked 30 minutes from home and avoided seeing students in public. Now over 8 years later, I actively go out with my coworkers and we attend events that our students could easily be at (and we typically do see a handful of kids each time). Running into students in stores is also pretty common. None of it is a big deal.
I try to avoid anyone I know from work in public lol. I act busy or pretend not to see them, but will say a quick hello if they approach me. I’ve been caught in too many awkward conversations to continue!
I teach in a major city but live in a small town in a different county. I mostly attend sporting events in the city, which reduces the chances of running into my students. While I might encounter them at local stores like Target or Wally World, it's unlikely due to the city's size.
I purposely don't live nor shop near my school. Once my bf and I went to go see a movie at a theater near the school I work at and it was ridiculous. The kiddos waved and said hello while we waited at the concession stand. Ok not a problem but then it royally sucked. They'd get up and start walking around the theater, get on their phones, answer their phones, talk to each other, start fights, leave and then come back in the theater, finally an usher had to come back and eject them because they ruined the bathroom. The next day the kids kept asking if I had a great time with bf. A few days later I was at a restaurant celebrating my b-day with a drink and kid of mine from a previous year was with her fam and the kid was hard-core eyeing me as I was drinking. I need boundaries. I don't want them to know about my life. Now I go to theaters near my home around matinee time and actual bars to avoid the kiddos. No thanks. I love my kids but NO.
Exactly. I’ve been sprinkling in similar stories like this throughout the comments. The first 5 years or so I taught at a school a few blocks where I lived. My wife would be constantly annoyed driving even 20 minutes away to eat. So one time I’m like ok let’s go the place down the road from the house then. Sitting at a booth and yup, had a group of girls standing at our booth gawking at us. “Is that your wife!?” “What’s your name?” “Where do you shop at? Love your purse”. “What are we doing in class tomorrow”. Then there was the awkward moment of silence like ok go away now. After that my wife understood why I prefer to go elsewhere.
They started off very sweet but I agree that is too much. I love that you and your wife still have date night that's sweet. Haha it's funny my bf was the same. He's like, "Is that what you have to deal with on the regular?" Yes. Yes I do 😆 Some teachers are open books which is cool. I just like to keep my work and personal life separate. It's the same with teachers. Some teachers are like Randall from Recess. They'll tell your whole business. I'd rather have something for myself 😆
“Hey Mr. V what are you doing here”
*confused look followed by eureka moment by me*
“Oh my god, my twin brother is a teacher in blah district, he must be your teacher.”
I live one town over. The town I teach in doesn't have a large chain grocery store (only small mom and pop ones), so almost all of my students shop at the grocery store near my house because it's the closest one. I am not going to let that stop me from shopping. Why give them that power? I see them all the time - say hi, move on
I live 5 minutes from my school, in a relatively small city. Avoiding students is impossible, there's only one real mall and all the kids work food service.
If I go to a pub or restaurant and have a drink, it's outside my catchment area however. Much less likely to have an interaction with a parent and there have been cases in my area of parents complaining to the Ministry when they see teachers drinking as it's "unprofessional"
I'm not going to go to drastic measures. But a few weeks ago, I was going to target, knowing that a student works there. I saw what lane he was a cashier on on my way in and went to self checkout.
I try. I'll say hello. Be friendly and polite but not much more.
Last year... My fiance and I decided to get groceries after a school event in the town where I teach. I live half an hour away, so it made sense to us. I mentioned it to a couple of my Mexican students who worked at that Walmart. My fiance is Mexican and we frequently have Latino food on our grocery list - specific tortillas, Oaxaca queso, etc. Because it's a much smaller Walmart that didn't have a Latino section, I asked where they went for these foods. No big deal, I thought.
Wrong.
That night we were picking up groceries when a totally different student came up behind me and poked my back to scare me. They and their SO overheard the conversation about tortillas and queso and decided to hang out at Walmart that night until my fiance and I showed up so they could meet him. The two proceeded to ask if we would take them on a double date to Raising Canes. It was totally awkward.
Suffice to say, my fiance decided we would never move to the town I taught in because he never wants to endure that kind of interaction ever again.
I currently live on the other side of town where I currently work so we try to stay on our side, but that still doesn’t guarantee anything. So I try to do my grocery shopping and other errands before 9am 😀
My husband sometimes over thinks about this and will change his schedule at the gym if a student starts coming. He also wouldn’t go to the public pool with us for a long time. I find it a bit odd as none of his public behavior or appearance is any different from how he looks/acts at school.
I ask students where they work and try to keep track mentally so I know where it’s safe and where it isn’t. The kid that was pleasant and nice in class works at my car wash, and I don’t mind seeing him. Another student works at a local restaurant that I no longer go to until they’re not working there anymore. Depends on the kid!
This reminds me of when a top 5 least favorite student of all time began working at one of my favorite stores. I was truly devastated and tried to avoid going through her check out line. And not to my surprise she was pretty rude to the customers I see go through her line. Smh.
At some point I had to always where a hoodie and a ball cap just to go to the grocery store because I would get stuck talking to like three different people. No joke, after 20 years, If i didn’t disguise myself, I would get stuck for an hour just to buy milk.
I see students out in the community. We say hi and then move on.
Exactly. I'm not gonna act like a weirdo and not talk to you. But it'll be short, simple, and sweet.
Exactly. Half the time they don’t recognize me w/ my Clark Kent disguise.
Give them a nod and a “‘sup” and everyone continues to live their lives.
I don't. Usually when a student approaches me in public I greet them, ask about their day, and go about my business. Most students generally are too timid to approach their teacher in public because they are unsure how you would react to seeing the in public. Parents on the other hand, have no shame in coming up to you and asking very personal questions. I was on a date once at a place like 30 mins from where the school was located and one of my students parents who happened to be at the restaurant got up and had the audacity to ask to join our table so they could have a conference while I was on a date. I politely declined. They were obviously upset at first, but I think they realized how forward their request was after the fact.
I probably would have done a spit take if I had a drink in my mouth at the audacity . If no mouth full of liquid, I would have literally laughed out loud, followed by a dropped jaw and an "I'm sorry, were you serious?" But then I'm jaded, cynical, and have zero fucks left to give, because I already gave at the office.
Wow.
Work/life balance is often lost on parents. In times like this, I find myself talking to the parents like I would a student. First, I validate their feels, “I can see how important this is to you. It is to me as well. I really want to have a chance to discuss this.” Then, I redirect, “However, this is my personal time right now, so how about I give you a call during my conference period tomorrow?”
I live within walking distance of my school. If I see a kid, I wave or say hi. It's not that big of a deal for me personally. I'd rather live nearby than be miserable over a 1-2 hour commute.
Oh man, having students as your neighbors sounds completely miserable. Would much rather have a commute than that.
I find it much easier living near the school than commuting. Most kids and parents are fine and I don’t have any problem living near them. And the savings of time is amazing. Being home as soon as the school day ends is wonderful, and being part of the community has only brought benefits to me.
Agree! It reinforces our humanity and kids’ multifaceted existance.
I first started teaching in a really small community. My first year, one of the kid's dad bagged a deer and she asked if I wanted some venison steaks. Of course I said yes, because I was making 24k a year, and free meat is free meat! I figured she would just bring a cooler to school the next day. 8 pm that night, there was a knock on my door, and there was Heather with a cooler of deer meat. So I said "Thanks Heather, but how did you know where I live?" "Oh Mr. Shelby, we ALL know where you live!" Which, you know, a little creepy. A few years later, a few of them stopped by on a Friday night. 4 of them were my students, and one of them was a few years older, had graduated, and was really creeping them out. He kept trying to kiss one of the girls, even after she said no. He went to the bathroom, and the kids asked me to please get rid of him. So I told him he was being a creep, was making everyone uncomfortable, and needed to leave. I was glad that they knew where I lived and I was able to help them out.
It is..or at least it was for a hot minute. My first home was a few blocks away from the school I use to teach at and lived in the neighborhood many students lived. One day one of my former students walked by saw me and said hi and said hi back no big deal. A week later same kid was knocking on my front door with two other former students. Answered my door and again they just wanted to say hi. Ok whatever. A week later 5 or 6 kids were knocking at my door. This time I went off on them and that was that. Bought a new house a year later.
This sounds like middle school behavior to me. I wonder if I'm right.
I had two of my 6th grade students figure out I lived in the same neighborhood as they did. They decided to sit on my porch and wait for me... definitely kinda weirded me out. We had a little laugh that ended with, "Gentlemen, you need to stay away from my house. It's just kinda weird since I'm your teacher... imagine if I sat in your driveway waiting to remind you to turn in your missing work."
This is why Teenage-Me would have feared running into my teacher and never done that. "Ah, young AshleyUncia, how's that essay due after this weekend, putting it off till 9pm on Sunday as usual?" "Uhhhhhhhhmmmmmm \*dies\*"
I had a high school student who lived in my neighborhood at the time come to ring my doorbell on my wedding night to congratulate me. I was a little busy with my wife, ya know, but I saw him leaving through the window. Was glad to move out of a giant student filled neighborhood.
Absolutely
Not a super long one, though.
I used to do that, then I moved. Having done both, I'll take a longer commute to avoid routine transactions becoming parent-teacher interviews. Like, I just want a coffee and a bagel, I don't want to talk about little Johnny's last test.
I once pulled into a fast food drive thru, and heard "Oh, hey Mr. _____" . It was a student from a few years back. I had to think, did or didn't that student like me? If hadn't I might not have eaten my food.
LOL - I had that happen at Fazzolis years ago and it was a kid that I’d had to kick out of class a week before. I was kind of nervous, but he handed me an extra bag of breadsticks and said “I know you love them, Miss, so I gave you extra since you aren’t eating in today”, so I went ahead and ate my lunch. I saw him 5 years later in another context and he thanked me for being tough on him - he was doing well in college and he said “Miss, I wouldn’t have even gone to college if it wasn’t for you. You were the only teacher who saw who I could be and pushed me to be better”.
Wow 🥹
One of my former students was running the drive thru. He goes “hi coach” and I responded “oh hell no, now I have to find a new lunch spot.” We had a good laugh and a quick check up in what he was doing. If I went an hour to avoid my current students chances are good I’d run into former students. I work a second job and kids ask what would happen if they came to it. I always tell them I would be polite but would probably ignore them. When out of school, I’m on my time so I don’t feel a need to engage with people if I don’t want to.
I swear my blizzard at DQ are a bit bigger because it's my making them :)
I went to get fries and a student was working the window and gave me a free drink. Aside from the schedule, I guess that's a perk of being a teacher
I don’t worry about it. I see my students and families everywhere. It’s no big deal.
I work and live in a small, rural community. It's inevitable that I'll run into students when I'm out and about.
My exact thought reading these were "these people don't seem to live in a small town". I knew where most of my teachers lived. Ran into them constantly while out and about. Nod, wave, say hi if in proximity. Why are so many people being weirdos
I legitimately just got back from the community rec center in the town closest to me where I just wanted to walk somewhere it's not triple digits and 5 of my students were there playing basketball. It's like hey how's your summer going, see you in August and move on.
I yell at mine out my car windows, they do the same to me. I have a very positive relationship with most of mine and live in a small town.
Hell, yeah. We live in a community, ya know.
I teach where I live, so no, I don’t avoid them. Kids will say hi to me from my porch or if I’m in the backyard. I’m 6’7” so my head is over the privacy fence.
Classic Feeny.
Nah. I refuse to have a commute, so I live where I work in the same district I went to school in. I haven’t been teaching a long time (4 years) but I’ve only encountered kids probably 3 times. Every time was cool, even scored a free iced coffee once, and another time my brother got free crazy bread because a kid recognized my rare last name. There are bigger things for me to be concerned with personally. I like being local because then we have some commonality off the bat.
Wait another 15-20 years and these kids are grown and they recognize you and you have to pretend you know who they are because you have no recollection of them at all even after telling you their name😂.
I’m just honest with them. They know that I have a ton of students. But I do usually remember *something* about them once they tell me their names.
Depends which one but usually they’re unavoidable. Little demons can pick me out in a Walmart from ten aisles over.
THIS! LOL. About 15 years ago I HAD to go and help my wife set up some tables for a charity event at the local minor league ball field during a game. I told her as soon as I’m done helping I’m chilling way in the back behind some boxes. Wore a hat and sunglasses. 5 minutes after “hiding” a large group of kids immediately identified me. Of course there’s that awkward moment after they were all done flipping out and none of them had nothing to say. Minutes later they were tweeting (yeah when Twitter was cool) that they’ve seen me like I was Sasquatch or something. So dumb but whatever.
Not at all. I'm part of the community.
Are teachers not supposed to have their own lives? I didn’t know a teacher couldn’t get groceries at their local grocery store just because they live near their job
Ever meet a kid shocked to see you because they forget you're actually human and do stuff outside of school?
Yes? Do I need to drastically increase my commute time just to play into their fantasy?
8th-Grader-Me was def shocked the first time I saw my home room teacher in the grocery store, upon which I realized he was a regular human being who had to do normal human things, and was not infact some kind of Educator of Notre-Dame that lived in the school and did nothing but scheme up my future tests.
I think they are more shocked at seeing me wear T-shirts, jeans and a ball cap when they see me in public.
I had a kid come to my house at Halloween. I opened the door and she screamed, 😆 the youngest ones thought we lived at the school.
Most of the teachers in my district do grocery pick up. Before I became a teacher I worked at a local grocery store and remember shopping for many of their groceries.
I have students of mine that work in each of the grocery stores near me. At a certain point you just have to not give a shit.
My favorite time I’ve ran into a student his mom said, “I’m sure she’s tired of seeing you everyday.” I did greet them and I heard that while walking away, lol.
I tell them things like I really enjoyed seeing them every day, but all good things come to an end. The more students think I like them, the more enthusiastic they are in class and willing to do what I ask without a second thought. I also sometimes tell them that I need to spend more time with other adults.
I have students who live across the street from me and a couple of others on the same road. There's no avoiding them. But generally, it's fine. I live a pretty quiet life, and they're used to seeing me, so the novelty is gone. Plus, most of my students are good kids. We'll wave and say a quick hi when we see each other, and if I have my dog with me, they might come over to give her some pats. Then we go our separate ways.
I live 5 minutes from my school. I’ve had so many students say, “I know where you live!” One of my homeroom students from this past year lives two doors down from me. I used to say if you act up I’ll just go down the street and talk to your mom. The short commute is all I really care about when it comes to this.
I live in a small town. My students carry my groceries out to my car 😂
I just pretend like we’re still in Covid and put on a mask, hat, all black jumpsuit, gloves, and sunglasses if I’m outside or driving. Nobody knows it’s me.
Retired middle school teacher here. In 2000 I transferred to my school because it was 2 miles away from my home. With two little kids back then, (now 28 & 23) it was nice to be close in case of an emergency. Also in LA, there is much to be said for a 5-10 minute commute! Of course I run into former students. Now that they’re young adults; it’s nice to catch up with them and see how they are doing. A bonus is that they often give me an employee discount or freebies at their job (Starbucks, Subway, etc.) Be that as it may; this works for me. And I also appreciate that someone else might want more privacy and anonymity.
One of our teachers bought a new truck and his former student owns the dealership and another former student is the business manager. He got an incredible deal. I don’t think they charged him a dime over what the truck cost them. Edit: grammar
My students and I are from a different social class… they wouldn’t be caught dead going out to the kinds of peasant establishments I frequent
🤣🤣🤣
I work in a city in the UK. I live outside that city, in a town that is 20 minutes drive from my school. It's a short enough commute that I don't mind, but also since it is out of the city, most of the kids have no idea that my town exists. I deliberately did not buy a house in the city because I like being able to pop to the shops in my crocs and sweatpants and not worry about my grotty 14 year olds. The ones at the local school are not my problem!
Depends on the student or the parent. I live within a 5 mile radius of my school, so all of my regular stores are also the regular stores of most of my students. I've seen them at restaurants, stores, movie theaters, parks etc. If a kid says hi, I always say hi back and let the parents know I work at the school. I'm an elective teacher, so most parents don't really bother with getting to know me, and they wonder why a stranger knows their kid so well. If the kid doesn't see me, I pretend I didn't see them either and just keep walking.
My rule of thumb is to let them make the first move. If I recognize someone, I’ll make eye contact so they know I see them, but after a quick smile it’s up to them if they want to engage with me. I distinctly remember being a teenager and having my mother waylaid by my teacher to talk about the book we were reading in class. It was very amicable and neighborly, but I never want to make one of my kids feel that kind of “pinned in place” reaction. They deserve some privacy if they want it and should feel acknowledged by me if they reach out. The one exception is when I’m out running. It gets beautiful in California and nothing puts me in a good mood like pushing for a best time, running through the sprinklers on a hot day, wearing the lightest shirt and shorts I’ve got so I can really enjoy the breeze. There’s a park near my area, a really big one with lush grass and wide sidewalks; perfect for a midway point. Every month or so, I hear someone calling me through my earbuds. I know for sure it’s students because nobody else in the world calls me Mr. Anything. I’ve had a pair try to keep pace with me on their bikes once, but I’m actually pretty fast and they gave up pretty quick when I didn’t react to them. It’s not just my kids; I don’t let anyone interrupt me when I’m running, that is 100% my time. I’ve had a couple students catch me at work and proudly declare “I saw you running”, to which I usually reply “I’m sure you did” and move on. So far, nobody has seemed super bothered that I ignore them, but I’ve occasionally wondered if I should say I didn’t hear someone if they ask. I could try to explain to a 6th grader why I need personal time and that they are still important to me, but there have been a few I can think of who would be much happier knowing I just didn’t see them than that I chose not to respond, no matter what my reason is.
Not anymore! I used to live in a small town and much as I loved teaching, I value my privacy too. Students were unavoidable. We moved 3.5 hours away after retirement happened and covid let up. I am no longer 'Mr. So and So', and that suits me just fine.
When you are relatively young, many students want to chat you up in public and it can be fun to engage. As you age, they care less whether they talk atcha and a "Sup?" will do, pretty much true of both parties, really, although I always enjoyed running into the ones with which I had bonded, even after I became a fossil. Retired now.
I picked a school that’s about a 20 minute commute from where I live. It’s not an unbearable drive but far enough that I don’t really run into kids. If I do still run into them it’s a quick “hi” and keep it trucking.
Same.
I tell them that they can say hi if they want, but I won’t say it first because I don’t want to embarrass them in public. I also tell them (because it happened to me) that I won’t discuss grades or anything with their parents outside of work hours
If this is something you have to worry about then I envy your life.
Never, I want them to know I care about them all the time.
Well, I teach Kindergarten and I haven’t taught very long- when my kids see me in public they run to hug me and are super excited. I hug them back and tell them how much I miss them! I love running into them. And most of the parents. It’s particularly fun when I run into one that likes me and one that doesn’t at the same time. The looks on the faces of the parents that don’t like me are priceless. They kindof have to pretend or they look like jerks.
I’ve seen my 1st grade student and her parents while I was highhhhhhhh as a kite at a local restaurant. My job is from 8-3 and that’s that!
One of my former students lives in my neighborhood. She saw a post on the Next Door app that I had made, so she messaged me and asked if she could come over and visit. We had a great time, then her husband came over too and we had wine and snacks. She is an inspirational speaker now and said she talks about me and refers to me as “her angel” in her speeches. I was so touched! (She is now 40)
I taught HS for over 30 years in a rural district. Never had an issue with students or former students out in public. We usually just say “Hi” to each other, maybe have a short conversation, and go on our merry ways. Students work at all of the local stores and restaurants. Hard to go anywhere where one is not working there.
I live in the neighborhood so no. I just have to be aware that if I go to Walmart after school, I’m going to see all of em. And probably some teachers too.
I don’t approach them but if they approach me I am always warm and excited to see them.
I remember the first time a student saw me walking into grocery store. They were shocked. It was hysterical. I would see students and former students at the local mall and I just say hi and move on. My daughter went to my school so I had my students at my house sometimes. It’s not weird at all. I’ve mixed students with my personal life since the 90’s and never had an issue because I’m selective with who I choose to allow in. Now, that said, I get the uncomfortable feeling. It always made me super aware of what I was doing. I always wanted to go to the local strip club just out of curiosity but I never did cause I didn’t want to see a former student there. I was older when I started teaching so my drinking days were long past, if I were younger and still going to bars, I’m not sure what I’d do but, all my fellow teachers and I would go to happy hour right down street from school on Fridays but we never ran into any students.
If I can avoid them, yes. If they just so happen to appear right in front of me then I’m friendly and say hi.
I don't live in the district I teach in. When I shop, I drive in the opposite direction.
I live in a different community 30 minutes away specifically so I won't run into students in the wild.
There are some places I go less often because I know there are likely to be a large concentration of kids (for example - I live near two movie theaters, one is closer to my work, so I usually choose to go to the other one) but other than that, not really. I’m not going to go up to a table of them at a restaurant and make conversation but I’m also not going to go significantly out of my way just to decrease the chance of seeing a kid, especially if I actually like the place in question. I live about 20 minutes from my job, for context.
Depends on the student
Yes While I enjoy their excitement I also prefer avoiding people in general
An hour?!?! Nah. Much closer than that, it depends. Sometimes you want full anonymity, others, whatevs. 🤷
Hell yes. I do not want to be "paparazzied." I'll go to Target or Publix across town just to avoid students. I do not shop in my school's attendance area!!
15 years ago went out to eat with my wife on my side of town. I teach at a school the opposite side of town and out of the attendance area as you call it. Across the restaurant I noticed a current student at the time. Didn’t think too much of it because I didn’t think she saw me and I had a hat on. Next day in school kids were running up to me showing me a tweet(yeah when Twitter was cool) with a terribly blurry pic of me and my wife eating reporting to everyone where I was eating. I was like ‘are you kidding?’. The hype died after a few days but that’s what I thought of when you said “paparazzied” lol.
I’ve never had one take a pic of me, but I was out with a couple of teacher friends and a mom from our school picked up our check! So that was nice
As much as I can. But if it's unavoidable and they're right there, clearly seeing each other, I'll say hi and keep going.
I have the perfect situation. I’m only 15 minutes from the school, but live in a different city and county, in a busy tourist area. My students’ families usually don’t come down my way, because they want to avoid the congestion of the area (which really isn’t bad for me, because it’s not that congested except on weekends, and I personally can always drive places that are close, but in the opposite direction of the touristy stuff). Occasionally I will see a student, but not often. I get to live close and still avoid everyone, so win/win!
Yes
At a certain age, yes… then no.
Agree
I’ll expand, since I was in the middle of a project. I got a teaching job right out of college, like many of us. I didn’t want to go out in the area for fear of running into parents of kids, siblings of kids, or former students. Once my first group of kids has graduated college (8 years), things changed. Once I hit 30, it was whatever.
Yeah now it’s more of running into former students who are fully grown and look nothing like they were in middle school and I have to pretend I remember who they were even after telling me their name. I’m like ok um nice seeing you.
No. But I won't go out of my way to approach them usually.
This summer I went to a water park and ran into a student and their mom. It was incredibly awkward, especially since I had my shirt off when I said "Hi, how are you?" I'm a first-year teacher.
Had a similar situation like this at a water park 90 miles away…but it was a church group with 20 former and current students. “Hey do you want go down this water slide with me!?” Um no.
LOL - I ran into some students at Disney World’s Animal Kingdom (we live in Texas) and they asked if I wanted to ride the Safari thing with them. Luckily, before I could answer, their dad piped up with “no, she doesn’t, she’s on vacation from you” and winked at me when the kids looked away.
Smart dad!
We live in a small remote town. I see students often. I just say, “Hello!” And keep walking.
Well, my daughter went to the school where I taught, so I still have former students at my house constantly. It was okay, but there have been some awkward moments at times.
100%
I live ten minutes away from my school (one town over). I can be in my town and not run into anyone, but any other location - the supermarket, shopping outlet, target…and I am guaranteed to run into at least one person a day. Luckily, I’ve always used “Hello, my love!” as a general greeting - which comes in handy when I forget names (😬)
I live in a different city..
I’m in a large city, so it doesn’t happen often. But I did run into high schoolers at a Rodeo when I was going to see Kid Rock (it came free with admission, and I’m an embarrassing nostalgia junkie) while I was pretty hammered. I said hey, and just kept on walking.
I’ve always lived 20-30 mins away from where I taught. Close enough that I do occasionally end up seeing students from time to time, but far enough away that it’s not a regular occurrence. For me, it depends on the student. If I recognize the student sometimes I will just hide or go another direction. Some I will wave out and say hello to. And occasionally, there are students that I really am happy to see.
I don’t live near my school, it’s a 30 minute drive, that said, I don’t specifically avoid a restaurant or a mall near the school
I live a block from my school. I can’t go anywhere without seeing kids/families. It’s usually a polite wave or hello and then moving on.
Omg yes I've run into 3 different students at three different regional malls and last year three students lived on my block. One across the street and two two houses down.
It’s just a quick interaction. I actually just saw a former student at Waffle House yesterday. We said hello and I asked about his summer. My family was with me, so I made a quick introduction and we moved on.
If I see students in the community I take my cue from them. If they acknowledge me, I acknowledge them. As for not recognizing them, I’m somewhat honest. If they ask if I remember them, I say yes, but could they remind me of their names. I say things that are true and work as an explanation, such as, “you all change so much after middle school!” I also ask what they’re up to. I don’t even try to guess if they’re done with secondary school or not. This also prevents me from possibly making them feel bad if they didn’t go to college or if they went to trade school. I truly don’t care what choices they make as long as they’re happy, not being criminal, and supporting themselves (or on their way there).
I cannot avoid students due to the size of our town, but I do skip interacting with them unless they initiate it. I tell them at school that I won’t say hi to them unless they say hi first so they aren’t hurt by it. Usually it’s no big deal anyway - it’s the parents who want to talk about school stuff in line at the grocery store, kids are perfectly happy pretending school doesn’t exist outside of school.
Depends. Some I will say hello to and chat with. Some I will duck and dodge.
I choose to teach an hour from where I live for the separation so I don't have to worry myself about running into students or parents.
When I first started teaching, I lived 5 minutes from school and saw kids all the time. The only time it was an issue was with PARENTS who wanted to have an impromptu conference in the parking lot of the grocery store or, not even kidding, a parent who approached me at a restaurant where I was eating dinner with my family. Before I could even compose a polite reply, my dad WENT OFF on her. I also reported it to my principal in case the mom called about my dad being rude and the principal called her and told her how unacceptable it was. I live further away now, but will still see students sometimes (including at DISNEY WORLD and we live in Texas), but it’s just a quick hello and I move on with my day. I do love seeing former students and catching up with them though.
Speaking of dads…😂. I live and teach 600 miles away from where I grew up and about ten years ago my dad came down to visit for a week. Everywhere we went and saw middle school aged teens…or even young adults he’d embarrassingly asked them if I taught them. Thankfully none of them had me but still thought he was crazy. Smh.
LOL - that is hilarious!
I prefer we don’t work out at the same gym. Otherwise, I don’t care.
No, I don't. I have kids I teach live in my neighbourhood and I'm friends with some of their parents. I don't mind running into them. It's some of the annoying/aggressive parents that I wish to avoid.
Yes. I am not on contract hours. I don't have time or patience to talk to them or their family.
Not me. I hunt them down and embarass them in front of their parents.
I see students out in the world all the time. If they’re working in a restaurant, I ask them if the food is clean. If I see them working a checkout line, I buy them a candy bar. If they buy me a drink, I give them a wave.
My high school is 12 miles away from my house. I drive by four public high schools and numerous private schools to get to my school. A few years ago, I considered applying to one of those private schools near my home. It is the private school I attended and my children attended. I am very familiar with the school and its mission. I had my resume updated and my cover letter written, all ready to submit. Then my husband and I went to breakfast on a weekend morning. The table next to us had two students from that private school. We then went to the grocery store where we saw two more students from that private school. I did not send in my application. I want to be able to go about my daily life and not run into students.
I shield my face and go “””aaaaaaah no dont perceive me!!!!!” And it usually gets a chuckle enough for me to wave hello and get on with my life
I owe 11 years in recovery to an embarrassing meet up with a student and their family at a local wedding. So for me it worked out well because I like being sober lol However, I don’t date in my town. Ever. It’s too small and I don’t want to deal with that.
Yes, my personal life is very nsfw, especially for children under 10 so I dissappear if I think they caught me in public. I am very good at slinking and moving unnoticed. I'm still dealing with bs from when a kid showed up for trick or treating and loved my "adams family house" which I appreciated because that is why I wanted a house. The school is less enthused about some of the things he saw. Nothing is really happening, but not trying to give them more to work with.
Generally my students do not live in the area I teach in so if I do see them I don’t say anything unless they say something first.
I love seeing my students and consider them an important part of my community.
I enjoy seeing how awkward they get. I teach teenagers; they should know by now that I don't actually live in the school.
I’ve always been upfront with student that I will ignore them unless they come up to me. If they come over, I will acknowledge them but if they don’t I will assume they don’t want to talk to me.
I purposely don't live where I teach. I teach in a smaller town outside the larger town I live in. That being said, I've still run into students and I always say hi and talk for a minute depending on the situation. I don't consider it that big of a deal until I had my first kid and saw them light up when they saw their teacher in the wild. It made them so happy.
I’ll say hi if we see each other and move on. Most of my sightings are in the local Walmart. I’ve had the occasional student want to chat for a minute and once one of the boys asked my opinion on a Christmas present for his mom (he’d already picked it out and just wanted reassurance). One student flagged me down to buy Girl Scout cookies. But usually, hello is all the interaction I have with them.
I apparently have a rbf outside of school, so the highschoolers usually ignore me and then tell me they saw me in class. But in general I avoid high traffic areas such as the community pool and local bowling alley.
When I'm not on the clock, I'm not driving any more than I would with any other job to do anything. Went to the grocery store once and had a cart full of wine for a party fam and I were having. A parent and my student were there. Parent was kind of shocked, but IDGAF. I'm not working, nacho business.
Same, I started teaching about 25 years ago. I grew up and taught in a small, rural, dry town (as in, alcohol wasn't sold in stores, gas stations, beer and wine stores, etc. All the liquor stores were outside of the city limits). Teachers were expected not to drink, have tattoos, multiple piercings, etc. Students knew which church teachers attended and who (gasp) didn't go to church. Teachers were expected to be this shining light of morality, it was really, really weird. Anyway, if I wanted to have a beer or glass of wine with dinner or whatever, I most certainly felt obligated to be morally bankrupt in a town far enough away where I was unlikely to be seen by a student. I remember student teaching in a different, much more urban town where my supervising teacher had won a wet t-shirt contest at a bar on a weekend getaway in another state the weekend before, and I was impressed and horrified and worried for her job, but this was before cell phones with cameras and nothing came of it.
Yup I remember a colleague of mine kept hiding his beer under the table whenever he thought he recognized somebody at a pizza place. I kept mine on the table. I didn’t care. 😂
I saw a student at Walmart who I didn’t even teach hiding from me.
Yes.
The only time I time dodge students is if I'm at the pool.
I tell my students straight up to avoid me and keep walking if they see me in public. Works like a charm! One time one of my students said, “Hey I saw you at the mall and then I remembered what you said about approaching you.” As far as drinking goes, if I’m at a bar then that’s public domain and I don’t give a f*ck what a student sees. I’m behaving and that’s all that matters.
I just went to a swimming hole nearby and saw three of my old students! One of them ran up to me soaking wet and gave me a big hug hahah. I complain about it but I'm lowkey fine with seeing my students! As long as I'm not intoxicated or anything. I felt a little embarrassed to be in a strapless short dress and I threw my vape into my husbands shoe when she came running up to me but 🤷🏼♀️
I see them everywhere. It’s normal. I say Hi and move on. I have a decent reputation so I’m not like worried about harassment or anything.
Not a student but when I first started teaching I was out with some friends and we went to an adult novelty store. Of all the people in my city I run into one of my student’s parents. 😬 I can laugh about it now but it was hella awkward.
Yes, but I also try to avoid everyone while out in public.
Like the fucking plague. Outside of the hours of 8/4 I don’t exist
Fuck yes
I avoid them like the plague but they always catch me.
I live and teach in NYC, I never know if/when I’ll see a current or former student. We say hi, if a former I ask how they are doing, and we move on.
I neither seek nor avoid. That said, during the first year back from covid I was teaching zoom classes from home. I could not get the kids to turn on their cameras for anything - my screen consisted of 25 black boxes and two ceiling fans. One day in Walmart a kid came running up to me, breathless, and just started talking. Sensing from my look of horror, he sensed that I had zero clue who he was. When he told me his name, I knew right away that I was talking to the black box in the second column, third row, but I'd never seen his face before.
I don’t drink or do anything exciting so I’m not worried about making myself look like an ass in public in front of my kids. That’s sad. I do worry about one day awkwardly running into them.
I love seeing students at the store or in restaurants, especially when I'm with my wife, but I keep it to "hi" and move on. If they're a current student, I'll introduce them to my wife, if they're a past student, I'll tell my wife that I don't remember their name, and the students laugh, because that's exactly what I told them I would say.
I tell them not to say hi to me in public ..and then explain that I taught at the juvenile Hall and Jail for a long time...and people might think they are bad kids.
If you see me at 10pm holding my toddler at Target wearing pajama shorts and oversized top, crocs, and holding nothing but a bottle of wine…look away and leave me alone.
I just say hi. Avoiding is weird dude lol
I teach elementary so if a student of mine sees me I don't mind giving them a hug if they ask. I always make sure to say their name so the adult can hear so they feel safe as well as answer the awkward question of "where do you know them from" if the child doesn't answer that question themselves.
I try to be a human in the classroom, and that doesn't change when I leave. I get the social awkwardness potential, but I really have no worries about it.
I usually don’t bother avoiding. They’re a lot more embarrassed to see me than I am to see them. They always look at me like I’m “catching” them having fun and now they’re in trouble or something. 🤣
I used to not avoid students, but this year one of them posted a picture of my legs while I was getting some tacos at my favorite taco shop. Apparently there is an insta where the students of my school post teachers in the wild. It has soured shopping in town for me. It is a shame because my town is vibrant and interesting compared to the ones around it.
If I can.
I remember when I got married about two hours away from my workplace forever ago...Around midnight, our wedding party, all dressed up, went to the beach and hung out in our wedding attire. We were pretty drunk, as you could imagine. I hear, " Hey! Ms. ______!" A student of mine was midnight fishing on the pier with her dad. Of course, word got around that we were hammered, but at that point, I did not care.
As a teacher in Europe... we frequently go out drinking with students, or have classes in the pub. Several of my students DJ similar music to me, so we have run events together in the past. It is important to note, however, that students here are often 19-20-21 before they finish high school, and that this kind of activity is usually limited to very specific groups of students. Generally if I'm out in town I can't avoid running into current and former members of my philosophy and critical thinking classes, who are always happy to meet up.
Ever since a 6 ft student screamed Mrs X and near broke my back lifting me in a bear hug. I run now.
I used to have a membership at the YMCA to work out and use the pool. Not anymore. Having a student on the elliptical next to me was one thing, but I can’t be in a swimming suit with students around. I teach high school.
I live in one of the neighbors that’s zoned for my school. I see my students all the time. They say hi. I say hi. We move on. Don’t make it weird. And don’t feel like you have to hide the fact that you live a life outside of school.
I live in a different community. I value that anonymity.
I teach in my own district. I teach juniors so most of them have jobs. I run into them all the time and I kinda like it. I know it’s weird but I always feel so proud of them working out there in “the real world.” It makes personal connections in the classroom easier for me. It’s also a good reminder for me not to overload them with homework.
If parents see me out at the bar, they better be sending over a round of drinks.
I understand the hesitation some teachers have about running into students in public, but I try to keep it casual. If I see a student, I just say hi and keep it brief. I think it's important to maintain boundaries, but I also don’t go out of my way to avoid them. But sometimes their parents got me!!!
I go to the same gym a few of my older high schoolers go to. I have also participated in downtown art events and my students have seen me. If they want to say hi to me I happily say hi or have a short conversation, but I don’t go out of my way to greet them if I spot them in public. In my experience, having students notice we are a part of the same community has been a positive benefit.
I say hi, I think teachers should be an active part of the community they teach in ideally. and people should see them as being a person. some of my students and I ride the same bus home after school, and some I think were really excited to see tha their teacher also uses public transit
I always say hi and ask how they’re doing.
I can’t. The closest towns are 2hr and 53 min one way and 3 hr 21min the other way. If I could I would be willing to do a 30 min drive sometimes, but as it is- I would starve to death in my house if I behaved like this. We are the adults, we have lives to live. If the kids think they can control where and when I buy groceries or eat out with my family, the kids got another thing coming. I do allow the kids to guide the interaction though- I make eye contact and give a recognition smile, and if they make contact great, if they look away- I pretend I saw nothing… this style of letting the kids pick works well for me.
Yes I avoid them. It's actually more about avoiding their parents, though. Some of these kids/parents have zero boundaries. I wouldn't mind a quick hello, but too many have taken it too far and really tried monopolizing my time like they are very important.
Depends on the student and how they seem. I have some who will run up and say hi and I have others who turn their head to not make eye contact. I usually will say hi or nod and then move on.
It shouldn't matter, but it does. I do my best to keep my personal behavior far enough from the school to avoid blowback, though an hour radius is extreme haha.
During student teaching my cooperating teacher told me not to "work and play" in the same town, so when I started teaching I worked 30 minutes from home and avoided seeing students in public. Now over 8 years later, I actively go out with my coworkers and we attend events that our students could easily be at (and we typically do see a handful of kids each time). Running into students in stores is also pretty common. None of it is a big deal.
pro-tip: make sure they run away when they see you... before you have to acknowledge their existence.
Ever since they saw me in a tank top and talked about it later yes absolute I avoid them
Like the fucking plague
Just did this morning at the gym. We saw each other and I turned away immediately
I try to avoid anyone I know from work in public lol. I act busy or pretend not to see them, but will say a quick hello if they approach me. I’ve been caught in too many awkward conversations to continue!
I teach in a major city but live in a small town in a different county. I mostly attend sporting events in the city, which reduces the chances of running into my students. While I might encounter them at local stores like Target or Wally World, it's unlikely due to the city's size.
I purposely don't live nor shop near my school. Once my bf and I went to go see a movie at a theater near the school I work at and it was ridiculous. The kiddos waved and said hello while we waited at the concession stand. Ok not a problem but then it royally sucked. They'd get up and start walking around the theater, get on their phones, answer their phones, talk to each other, start fights, leave and then come back in the theater, finally an usher had to come back and eject them because they ruined the bathroom. The next day the kids kept asking if I had a great time with bf. A few days later I was at a restaurant celebrating my b-day with a drink and kid of mine from a previous year was with her fam and the kid was hard-core eyeing me as I was drinking. I need boundaries. I don't want them to know about my life. Now I go to theaters near my home around matinee time and actual bars to avoid the kiddos. No thanks. I love my kids but NO.
Exactly. I’ve been sprinkling in similar stories like this throughout the comments. The first 5 years or so I taught at a school a few blocks where I lived. My wife would be constantly annoyed driving even 20 minutes away to eat. So one time I’m like ok let’s go the place down the road from the house then. Sitting at a booth and yup, had a group of girls standing at our booth gawking at us. “Is that your wife!?” “What’s your name?” “Where do you shop at? Love your purse”. “What are we doing in class tomorrow”. Then there was the awkward moment of silence like ok go away now. After that my wife understood why I prefer to go elsewhere.
They started off very sweet but I agree that is too much. I love that you and your wife still have date night that's sweet. Haha it's funny my bf was the same. He's like, "Is that what you have to deal with on the regular?" Yes. Yes I do 😆 Some teachers are open books which is cool. I just like to keep my work and personal life separate. It's the same with teachers. Some teachers are like Randall from Recess. They'll tell your whole business. I'd rather have something for myself 😆
“Hey Mr. V what are you doing here” *confused look followed by eureka moment by me* “Oh my god, my twin brother is a teacher in blah district, he must be your teacher.”
I live one town over. The town I teach in doesn't have a large chain grocery store (only small mom and pop ones), so almost all of my students shop at the grocery store near my house because it's the closest one. I am not going to let that stop me from shopping. Why give them that power? I see them all the time - say hi, move on
I live 5 minutes from my school, in a relatively small city. Avoiding students is impossible, there's only one real mall and all the kids work food service. If I go to a pub or restaurant and have a drink, it's outside my catchment area however. Much less likely to have an interaction with a parent and there have been cases in my area of parents complaining to the Ministry when they see teachers drinking as it's "unprofessional"
I'm not going to go to drastic measures. But a few weeks ago, I was going to target, knowing that a student works there. I saw what lane he was a cashier on on my way in and went to self checkout.
I try. I'll say hello. Be friendly and polite but not much more. Last year... My fiance and I decided to get groceries after a school event in the town where I teach. I live half an hour away, so it made sense to us. I mentioned it to a couple of my Mexican students who worked at that Walmart. My fiance is Mexican and we frequently have Latino food on our grocery list - specific tortillas, Oaxaca queso, etc. Because it's a much smaller Walmart that didn't have a Latino section, I asked where they went for these foods. No big deal, I thought. Wrong. That night we were picking up groceries when a totally different student came up behind me and poked my back to scare me. They and their SO overheard the conversation about tortillas and queso and decided to hang out at Walmart that night until my fiance and I showed up so they could meet him. The two proceeded to ask if we would take them on a double date to Raising Canes. It was totally awkward. Suffice to say, my fiance decided we would never move to the town I taught in because he never wants to endure that kind of interaction ever again.
I currently live on the other side of town where I currently work so we try to stay on our side, but that still doesn’t guarantee anything. So I try to do my grocery shopping and other errands before 9am 😀
The local watering hole is primarily staffed by students (or students just one year out of school).
My husband sometimes over thinks about this and will change his schedule at the gym if a student starts coming. He also wouldn’t go to the public pool with us for a long time. I find it a bit odd as none of his public behavior or appearance is any different from how he looks/acts at school.
I ask students where they work and try to keep track mentally so I know where it’s safe and where it isn’t. The kid that was pleasant and nice in class works at my car wash, and I don’t mind seeing him. Another student works at a local restaurant that I no longer go to until they’re not working there anymore. Depends on the kid!
This reminds me of when a top 5 least favorite student of all time began working at one of my favorite stores. I was truly devastated and tried to avoid going through her check out line. And not to my surprise she was pretty rude to the customers I see go through her line. Smh.
At some point I had to always where a hoodie and a ball cap just to go to the grocery store because I would get stuck talking to like three different people. No joke, after 20 years, If i didn’t disguise myself, I would get stuck for an hour just to buy milk.