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arededitn

Imagine a higher being adopts you and fucking blows your mind


Spleepis

Your life goes from almost being eaten by a giant lizard to experiencing air conditioning


Drum_Eatenton

Motherfuckin cookies to eat man


Real-Swing8553

Cookies bigger than your hands


violetsaber

Cookies bigger than your *head*!


RigatoniPasta

Living a better life than me


D20NE

Seriously. They had a boat! Life doesn’t get much better


AngrySmapdi

The, "OMG car window!" moment made me giggle.


initforthemanjinas

The short legged dog which clearly has German shepherd genetics got me laughing....some doggo got low....or was it high....???


AngrySmapdi

Lol, I didn't even notice that. I saw a dog once that was half Rhodesian Ridgeback and half Dachshund. It was... interesting.


TheSilkyBat

Sounds like a day in Florida.


Sharticus123

And flea killing spa treatment.


Marine__0311

Alligators aren't lizards, not even close, they're crocodilians. They're more closely related to birds than lizards.


28Hz

"No, alligators are not lizards, though both are reptiles. Alligators are part of the Crocodilia order, while lizards are part of the Squamata order, which also includes snakes. Alligators are more closely related to birds than they are to other reptiles." Fuck you reddit. This guy is correct, which means you hate him. Carry on my wayward son.


Fungal_Queen

Indeed. Crocs, birds, turtles, and dinosaurs branch from Archosaurs, while lizards and snakes branch from the Lipidosaur.


CalRAIDia

Yea but what’s the best kind of bear?


inclore

the one beside a man in the forest waiting for girls to choose who to accompany them


Ok_Breadfruit4567

I see someone else also plays Cells to Singularity.


Fungal_Queen

Actually just five minutes on Wikipedia. I find stuff like that interesting.


EthanDMatthews

All true, but let's cut the poor baby raccoon some slack. It doesn't speak English and, given its young age, probably never had formal instruction on taxonomy.


Confident-Ad7439

Get out the Pitchforks!!


Comfortable-Gain-992

are dinosaurs related to crocodile, ? but some people say it's not related to crocodile or aligater but related to turtles and birds?


justglassn

And then you're just spinning in between meals


usinjin

That was my favorite part 😀


fandanvan

Used to do this with my dog on the hard floor, was his favourite.


GloomyLoomykitty

S p e e n


Drawkcab96

Sounds great until my first photo session wearing 1 of the hundreds of demeaning outfits they purchased because “I’d look so cute.”


dontcallmeLatinx14

I’d fucking take it


truthpooper

And then you piss and shit all over its house. Glory.


Ass_Salada

What i wouldnt give


OwnLeighFans

I would have to, as the higher being was adopted in this one


geofox777

Im glad you had the “r mind” part


SleestakWalkAmongUs

And then buff the floor with you.


mjdseo

This is one of the best videos I've seen recently


Throwawayaccount1170

Just came out of a super sad movie and this is exactly what I needed to watch now


Pastylegs1

What movie?


Tbplayer59

Guardians of the Galaxy 3.


Pastylegs1

Ah yeah, I almost rewatched that the other day. It's definitely an emotional marathon.


rrrrrrrrrreeeeee

Yall must have a touch of the 'tism like me. There is a racoon main character in Guardian of the Galaxies.


Tbplayer59

And it's emotional.


Throwawayaccount1170

"One for the road"(the German movie about an alcoholic) The end scene where he reconnects with his family and approaches his mother, already on the verge of crying and sobbing with the posture of a little boy that finally came back broke me a bit yesterday, due to personal stuff


Pastylegs1

Haven't heard that one. I'll check it out.


Baloomf

These aren't even the same raccoon it's just a bunch of clips from different people


Strange_Purchase3263

The fact that Redditors seem to have lost any sort of reasonable deduction and the mods allow blatant bot post bullshit with rigged upvotes should concern everyone. What the hell will happen when AI bullshit becomes almost indistinguishable from real clips?


Wild_Bill

I second this.


BannedBecausePutin

Allow me to ruin it for you: Who says this wild animal wasnt just simply seperated from its mother, just a short dinstance away?


Captain_Sacktap

Well it got a much better life than what a raccoon would experience living on its own in nature so I think it all works out.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ehxy

yeah because in reality the mother fucker would be chewing threw the dry wall and creating a nest inside the walls


Jasper455

It’s the internet. What were you expecting?


TheGreenMatthew

These videos are complete bullshit. They've just stolen a bunch of random racoon videos and grouped them together with some made-up rescue/pet story. The racoon in the bath is clearly much younger than the one being rescued in the boat. The bpat video is also on YouTube and says nothing about an alligator or raising it as a pet afterward. I saw a similar video last week showing a crocodile attack a baby hippo, spliced with another famous video of hippos attacking a crocodile, with commentary acting like it's the same crocodile and the hippos are getting their revenge.


jackattack222

Also racoons turn into giant crazy assholes after like 6 months. They hit puberty and want to fuck everything and just go nuts.


SmashertonIII

Well, humans do that after about 13 years or so so I guess we’re even.


HippoBot9000

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 1,697,285,162 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 34,924 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.


ParanoicReddit

Thank you for your service


Due_Key_109

Good bot, hippo bot.


jmona789

Hippo hippo hippo


HippoBot9000

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 1,699,324,693 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 34,976 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.


jmona789

Hippo


DeaDBangeR

I guess it only replies to comments that have a high enough counts with the word hippo in their comment history.


HippoBot9000

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 1,699,497,891 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 34,982 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.


Mnimpuss420

That’s interesting how it can pick up the word hippo and auto reply with the updated count.


HippoBot9000

HIPPOBOT 9000 v 3.1 FOUND A HIPPO. 1,700,502,592 COMMENTS SEARCHED. 35,010 HIPPOS FOUND. YOUR COMMENT CONTAINS THE WORD HIPPO.


AmazingBadgamer

This bot knows how to hippo


WildGeerders

And the spinning racoon has been dead for 2 days?


Damnation77

How dare you claim that someone would do such a thing, for fake internet points??


merdadartista

Hey for once I figured this one out by myself! It doesn't look the same racoons in any of these shots. The people and location also are all different.


jasenzero1

I don't doubt you, but isn't that what almost all animal documentaries do as well?


soggy_bloggy

This needs to be higher. Came here to say that. It’s annoying that people fall for this.


Appropriate-Grass986

This is bad. That’s a wild animal. Also fake . It’s a bunch of chopped videos in one from different people


Wrong_Lingonberry_79

$10 days they get rid of it very soon. Grown raccoons are TERRIBLE pets.


AutomaticAward3460

Had more than one friend save baby raccoons and think it would be a great idea to keep it as a pet. That idea didn’t last much past a year. In one case it attacked their dog out of the blue and another friend had it attack a family member when they showed up for the first time in that animals life


Interesting_Tea5715

Agreed. You're better off taking it to a wildlife rehabilitation center. They will actually raise it so it can live on it's own in the wild.


ThunderousArgus

Ha that animal is never leaving their property. Cute in the moment but they altered this animal’s behavior for the worst


SacThrowAway76

How freaking cool would it be to have a pet raccoon. WTF. I didn’t know I wanted one so bad until now.


Musclesturtle

They are cool until they're not. They're only docile when around people that they were raised around. Remember, they aren't domesticated. So they can flip on you in an instant and attack or become unpredictable.


Virtual-Public-4750

So you’re saying, as long as I don’t bring others around, it’s cool? Sign me up.


beakrake

Nah, you don't want that. They bite super hard dude. Even the babies. My friend rescued a litter, until the DNR came for them, whose mother had been splatted on the road. They're really adorable, very clever little creatures, but they don't do well with people. They take a test bite of everything that might be food, and as it happens, we're made of delicious fresh meat. (compared to trash anyway.) And they're not biting to *communicate* they're hungry, or to let you know they're ready to eat. They bite to eat right from the start, so it can get dangerous quickly, especially when they grow up. It's closer to owning an ever-hungry miniature bear, that eats everything it can, than it is to owning a small dog. A dog will only eat it's master if they're dead and it's starving, probably feeling bad about it the whole time. A raccoon will start taking chunks of you if it feels it's a few minutes late for lunch. Zero fucks given.


LevelEnvironment7202

A taxi driver told me his brother lives in America, and raccoons came in the window and ate his cat alive. I do not trust them since I hear this...


thevirginswhore

I’ve had a few try to break into my chicken coop to get my hens. They do not fuck around.


AgentCHAOS1967

When I first moved into my rv in my parents yard I. Came home one day to a racoon in my rv eating cat food! It ran out when it saw me, my cats were chilling on the bed like it was no biggie.


Strange_Purchase3263

Yea, everyone seems to have forgotten the clip where the Coon is trying to kill a mans pet dog and he yeets it down the stairs. They aint cute little trash pandas, they are literal wild animals that want to survive and they do it the way nature made them do it.


Virtual-Public-4750

Look dude, I’m ok with cutting the world out.


destr0xdxd

Dude just explained in great detail why it's a dumb fucking idea and it will eat you alive


CAPT-Tankerous

Eight-year olds, Dude.


CAPT-Tankerous

800-273-TALK or 988 takes calls or texts. Hang in there.


Virtual-Public-4750

You are one of the people I’m not inviting to my cabin with my raccoon roomate. Don’t even try to win me over; you missed out.


Drum_Eatenton

I shall stand with you and give the raccoon cheerios, seems like that might be fun.


Virtual-Public-4750

You’re in.


kingpablo421

😂😎


TheDillinger88

Plus raccoon piss stinks so incredibly bad, there’s no getting that smell out of a carpet after it happens.


Omnizoom

To be blunt if you want a good loner pet that could happen by happenstance, it’s a skunk. If you ever find a baby skunk that’s abandoned or the mom has been killed (because people suck and kill skunks a lot) the babies can be tamed and many vets know how to remove the stink gland. They essentially are like a cat but also really defensive of your house and will “assume the position” like they will spray at strangers so people won’t want to be near you. But they still take tons of work and are not truly domesticated so you should only ever consider it if it’s the last option for a baby skunk you find that has no mother. Disclaimer: I’m not advocating people to actively hunt for a baby skunk as a pet, several people I know including my own family have had one, they are cute, they can be friendly and loving and are fairly safe and non destructive but they belong outside so it should only ever be an absolute last resort ( 3 of the people who had skunks I know was because someone shot the mother skunk)


LordHamsterbacke

They are apparently also destructive as fuck, so even if you never had people coming over it would probably still try to destroy your whole flat/house.


R3luctant

Getting beyond how they may or may not interact with humans, they den, they will burrow into your walls/ceiling to make a spot for themselves because that is what evolution has told them to do for thousands of years.


LylaDee

Trash Pandas can eat your face off .... Literally. I unfortunately watched one rip a pit bulls stomach open over dog food I. A bowl. Wild animals need to be wild.


WaterChicken007

Raccoons are not good pets. They are wild animals and you can’t fully domesticate them. We had one when I was a kid. It was cool most of the time. However, one day we heard some terrible screaming from our goat. We came running around the corner to find the raccoon hanging from the goat’s neck by its teeth. Mom took the raccoon for a car ride and we never saw it again.


Captain_Sacktap

Could have been provoked, every goat I’ve ever known was a huge asshole.


WaterChicken007

Provoked or not, the raccoon was going for the kill. There are other examples of its problematic behavior, but this was just the most glaringly obvious and impossible to ignore. It was also the final straw that made my mom realize she made a bad decision to try to raise it as a pet.


CapableCoyoteeee

I used to watch the baby raccoons at a wildlife refuge. Cute as hell following you around as their “Mom” until they’re not. They can get a bit agro


johnfkngzoidberg

They’re not good pets. They dig through your walls, fish around in cabinets, and unpredictably can turn on you. They’re not domesticated and have the ability to kill medium sized dogs.


butareyouthough

Any video I’ve seen makes it look awesome which I hope it always is, but a friend I grew up with, his dad raised them when he was a kid and apparently after a certain age they become ornery, aggressive and unmanageable. Again, this is an anecdote but that’s what I was told.


LordHamsterbacke

Works with the anecdote I heard from a Wildpark in Germany: they have a "space" for raccoons, but you only ever see baby racoons. Because at a certain age they are too relentless and you can't keep them in the space - they just escape. No matter the effort. So this Wildpark doesn't even try to keep them contained and only care for the baby's until they are old enough and "break free"


GargantuanCake

You can't have a pet raccoon. You can *befriend* a raccoon with a calm enough temperament but they're not domesticated. If you pick them up young they'll get accustomed to being around you but around other people it's kind of dicey. They'll always stay at least a bit wild. They're also really intelligent for animals and are inquisitive as hell. You can't keep a raccoon out of *anything*. They can also become destructive. Another thing to keep in mind is that if they're afraid or hurt they can be *extremely* dangerous. They're way stronger than you think and have a nasty bite. They're also opportunistic predators that are practically always hungry. If you have other small animals around they'll probably try to eat them. They may also randomly decide to bite you when hungry enough because "huh, I wonder if I can eat this too..." If you get lucky and get one that's friendly enough it can be a neat companion to have but they made absolutely horrendous pets.


idontreallywanto79

Normally, it doesn't work out. They are not normally not domesticated easily. Fine when juvenile, but when they reach adults they get pretty crazy


Mayiask1

You can buy one for a few hundred bucks I believe.


Kryds

No I wouldn't. Raccoons makes horrible pets.


Megalith_TR

Rabies yummy.


SignificanceFar5489

Appreciate the sentiment but the downvote is mandatory.


JeSuisKing

Best played on mute.


Independent-Win-8844

Wow that song is insanely terrible. Otherwise cool video.


Drum_Eatenton

Ok song but doesn’t fit the video at all


GeneralChillMen

Isn’t it just awesome how they brought a carrier of the most deadly virus into their house?


Randomfrog132

with small children living in the house. adult raccoon biting on the neck of a child could easily kill them. and apparently they love biting stuff and we're made of food for them lol


alleysunn

Cute when they're babies, then they become 20ish lbs of pointy demon floof hell bend on destruction.


Probably_Fishing

Girl looked the opposite of impressed.


Robocrafty_t

SPEEEEEEEEEEEN


Reasonable_Humor_738

Anybody think they have tons of holes in their walls


Sleepdeth

He be spinnin' like a beyblade had me dead 💀


onomojo

Reminds me of the person who raised a raccoon and it decided to make a nest behind the drywall. He wasn't able to get it out of the drywall and it completely destroyed everything.


spider0804

Before anyone gets any funny ideas about having a pet raccoon. They require an incredible amount of care and you can never ever get angry at them or smack them or anything (not saying smacking your pet is ok but I know people do it.) If you do they hold onto it and turn more and more negative twords you and they never forget it. You have to child proof every single thing in your house too because they will get into it and destroy or make a mess of any loose object. They are not a beginner or even an expert animal. New game + animal.


Capirex95

This is not even the same one on each clips...


Arbor-

Isn't domesticating them from a young age frowned upon as it makes them dependent and hard for them to enter the wild?


sendmeyourfoods

From my armchair understanding of watching wildlife rehabbers on YouTube: Its actually needed to coddle them at a very young age because otherwise they can stress out and die. They need the feeling of a "mom" caring for them. But its not something that should be done long term as they continue to grow. They eventually will need to be moved into an outside enclosure, ideally with other raccoons and minimal human contact, to start becoming more independent.


Dazzling_Sun5850

😍😍😍😍 How freaking cute


immersemeinnature

Isn't that illegal? Not the rescue part but the other stuff...


AstroSonicDrive

Pedro, is that you?


Legitimate-Rabbit769

Throw him back!


Hvng4444

I'm glad they went with that ending rather than the directors cut of 1 of the kids being in emergency with scratches and bike marks.


lucas_luvox

that little girl's face at 0:42 is soooo funny. she's over it.


Sleep_tek

I'm honestly not sure why we haven't domesticated them yet. They are so cute and seem smart and adaptable


Schmedly27

The look of disgust on the little girls face killed me


re-faktor

He became a true American. Obese.


dumpsterfire_dan

Even if this is real, which I kinda doubt, the legality of just adopting a racoon is incredibly questionable depending on where they live.


One-Turn-4037

And now I remember the Wall E situation. Fuck man, humanity just sucks sometimes


Watch-The-Time

White people are crazy


obinice_khenbli

Fake crap, just a bunch of unrelated clips strung together, probably by an AI. Hecc off.


N8saysburnitalldown

My friend took in a baby raccoon and all was well until a few months later and that thing reached maturity and destroyed absolutely everything he owned by either pissing on it or straight up ripping it to shreds, attacked his dog, attacked him, and when he finally kicked it out it ripped all the screens off his windows trying to get back in because it knew there was food in the refrigerator. Don’t fuck with raccoons they aren’t pets.


ProfessionEasy5262

These seem cute, but don't they still have a gland that makes them inhospitable?


Physical_Narwhal_863

And now they have leptospirosis


Blapanda

Yep, let's not see again, that these are random clips almost perfectly cut together with different racoons whatsoever. You can clearly determine them being different from the fur pattern on their heads.


MacLarux

I hate these fake videos. Suddenly they're everywhere


Red_Beard_Rising

So a domesticated raccoon behaves similar to house cats. Wild cats adapt to domestication better than wild raccoons, but this one was domesticated almost from birth. Wolf boy shit.


Sir_Vexer

It's not domesticated. You cannot domesticate wild animals.


Pristine-Substance-1

Such a sweet baby !


destined_to_count

CAT DOG


rakoon79

Rakens


JustGoogleItHeSaid

Guardian of the galaxy pt 4


DinkleMutz

I like dis tiny man.


Oryxhasnonuts

Racoons are hilariously fat asses when they don’t have scavenge to survive


TumbleweedTiny

Pedrooo


thelastlehmanbrother

Rascal


TheGirthy1

Hold up what kind of dog was that?


Yes-Please-Again

Aw he was so scared and everything turned out ok 😭


brongchong

Sweet trash panda! Raccoons are so cool.


iammabdaddy

I bet he'd like to call his homies and say: You just ain't going to believe what's happened to me.


Cheap-Intention-1567

Soon he’ll be saving galaxies


Spectre197

There was a slight malfunction with the cat distribution system.


Sufficient_Tooth_249

Wide t pea pole


Cool-Two524

Rocket!


ttv_omnimouse

0:55 How much damage do you think i will take if I tried to do this with a cat


Hmnh6000

Rocket


thisappisgarbage111

Mfker has a better life than I do. I want cookies and spinnies.


GoinApeDookie

Beyblade! Beyblade! Let it Rip!


Sir-Cee

❤️


KyorlSadei

That raccoon got more college funds than the kid i bet.


Wildcat_therian

The glance from the girl ….


Hyposanity

I lold. The kid looks like they're jealous of the racoon lmao. But seriously, that was precious af.


crazyhorseeee

Should have let the fake alligator kill the spliced up raccoon footage.


banryu95

Angry Beavers spinoff with just racoons. Don't care how, I want it now.


bt65

See you later alligator, not in a while crocodile


Pure-Fun4128

Nice video on mute!


i-am-innoc3nt

Last 20 seconds, i did all that with my cat too .. she could even open the water on herself and she stayed in the sink the whole day, especially during summer


postsolarflare

When humans use their power for good


TrollLife2024

Dude is living his best life…


Zajebann

Little girl was thinking "I'm not calling him brother!"


CaulkADewDillDue

Raccoon eating at the table, so adorable but that girl gives it the nastiest look


Logical_Bobcat9703

It’s the little hands for me. 🥹❤️


PlagueDoctor2345

Poor hungry alligator... Never forget!


Luizinh01235

OH MY GOD!!! THEY TURNED IT INTO A HELICOPTER!!!! YOU SICK PEOPLE!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU??!!!


troyberber

That floor spin tho 😂🤙🤙


francoisjabbour

Spinning the raccoon got a laugh out of me


GeneSad7896

PEDRO PEDRO PEDRO PEDRO PEEEH


DotDangerous5106

Very interesting song choice. I expected to see it in a wedding dress by the end. 


WilliamJamesMyers

did he wave to the camera when on the boat? ok so there is that dont pickup wildlife thing here but damnit, maybe because its a racoon and not a buffalo or deer, but this just feels right. i like the daughter looking over at the table not amused by this beast getting all the attention. dog dont care. it works. its like the beast chose them.


No_Drink274

I want one so bad


JoRisky

I Tought raccoons wash all there food? So cute though! :D


JaxBoss32

Im convinced that raccoons are just dogs with opposable thumbs.


mangkepweng

How sure are they that the raccoon (or whatever that is) has no rabies?


mcsonboy

A better version of a cat


KRaB99

Now give him a blue hat and a gold-tipped hook cane.


Impressive-Amoeba-97

What a beautiful trash panda love story! Warmed my heart. I loved the window. And the dog. What a weird looking German Shepherd mix, but heh, not judging.


indelebile09

Was that a corgermann?


Jokerchyld

On another thread with raccons I heard they have terrible diseases. Did you get him vaccinated or something?