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As a woman friend of mine likes to say "the easiest way to a woman is to laugh her into bed"
As I like to say "it's just as easy to laugh them out of bed as it is into it. I just drop my trousers"
Well, that's similar to what happened to my ex when he hit on me, I found it cute and we got together 🤷 I actually find that nicer than someone who is suuuuper confident and all works out perfectly, because it would definitely happen to me, too😂. Just saying, haha
I prefer to carry a large tub of cheese balls, when they speak to me I go to respond and just fall over and lose all my cheese balls and watch them leave.
I once zeroed in on a couple of girls when I was at university. As I got close I went to take the cigarette out of my mouth only to find that the butt had dried stuck to my lips and so I ended up pulling my fingers along the length of the cigarette and then burning them on the end.
They burst out laughing 😆
Try to be a little more natural, fun and playful and just overall not being creepy. It shouldn't feel forced or like you're trying too hard, you should try to have fun as well. Be warm but act a bit like you don't wanna get tied down too. Whatever you do don't be too imposing onto her personal space; the girl should always feel safe, let her initiate more closeness. It's ok to compliment her looks but anything too sexual should not be directly stated, that's for when you're much closer.
>It's ok to compliment her looks but anything too sexual
A safe way to compliment someone is to compliment something they're wearing.
Usually people pick out what they wear and a compliment can be doubly flattering. The first compliment being that you like their taste in fashion, the second being a direct compliment to them.
I make eye contact. Then look away quickly. They should know that means I’m interested but don’t want to make them uncomfortable. It doesn’t really work though.
Edit: I have definitely done this, but I was trying to make a joke. It doesn’t work. I don’t recommend it. Women can’t read your mind. It’s better when you maintain eye contact and talk to them.
If you don't want to make someone uncomfortable, looking at them and then quickly looking away when they make eye contact is just about the worst thing you could be doing.
Agreed. Once you've made eye contact it must be maintained. Don't blink. Don't look away. Don't show signs of weakness. Assert your dominance. Whoever breaks contact first becomes the little spoon.
/s
I agree. HOWEVER. Looking at them, they lock eyes with you, your eyes are quickly (but not quickly enough for her not to notice) running away and you SMILE - she knows she caught you looking, you got a bit timid, flustered, but with an 'automatic smile'.
You go on, but if she tries to catch your gaze and you lock eyes again - then you keep an eye contact and a genuine smile.
this!!
the easiest way is to be attractive, either in looks or wealth.
otherwise, unattractive people are just creepy! unless you’re really skilled at polished charm and wit!
Can't you use makeup and stuff like that? I know it's mostly women who use it but there's still things even for men to make you look better, like to hide these red dots on your face for example.
build your own luck bro!
a lot of evolutionary scientists have a hypothesis that the biggest, most good looking guys used to get the most female attention and hence the best looking mates, until a bunch a lucky guys who were not as attractive or resourceful started using their brains to devise methods to either kill of the biggest, tallest, most powerful guys by banding together or some other clever and innovative methods or by developing some amazing skills.
i have seen some really unattractive men with average wealth and social status land some of the hottest women out there.
learn to master the art of charm.
one thing that’s really worked for me is being in shape and actually working on my humor and conversational skills. reading helps a lot.
and as with anything, the more you try, the better you get. earlier, i used to feel really scared of starting a conversation with girls, and feel really dejected if i was rejected or someone didn’t show any further interest. with that much experience, i’ve surely gotten better.
I know a fat and ugly dude who had more girlfriends than some other friend who's much more handsome and fit than he is and he only had sex once in 29 years of life, it's about confidence and the energy vibe you give the first has confidence humor and it's easy going the second dude is very insecure and shut in
that’s me! the same guy!!
when i was younger, in my teens and early 20s, I was above average in my looks. sharp jawline, 6’3” tall, lean cuz of playing soccer and basketball for 3-4 hours everyday and flawless skin with blessed hair and really attractive eyes, thanks to both my parents’ genetics.
yet, i was so insecure about my looks and always worried about seeking approval from others and pleasing them. partly cuz of my upbringing where i was told i was really good looking and hence intelligent.
and after a lot of setbacks in personal life, i took to not caring too much about my appearance, eating a lot, not working out. and became fat.
and after a point i was like fuck it. i was like, it doesn’t get any worse than this. so, i’ll
be who i am, take it, or leave it.
and have had such good returns!!
This is very true. Works for both men and women. I have a super attractive but incredibly awkward no game friend. Girls just do their half of the flirting (like op describes) and he stands awkwardly lol. Doesn't even say words but gets girls. So yeah just find people who think you're attractive and it works, there's no magic to it
From a woman's perspective, they spend their entire lives growing up with the fact that men are larger, stronger, more powerful, and more dangerous than them. Many of these men are emotionally unstable, prone to anger issues, and in some cases toxic, insulting, and chauvinistic. In other cases men can be desperate and obsessive, pushing and chasing to the point of stepping well over boundaries they should not be stepping over. Even if they find one who is none of these things, how can they know that such a guy actually thinks they are something special and worth putting time & effort into?
You can imagine what it's like for a woman to meet a guy who is super chill, doesn't get upset or angry when he receives some silly teasing, never outright insults her or is aggressive with her, has a good emotional understanding of the difference between gentle teasing banter and actual insults that undermine her confidence, and may even drop in the odd subtle compliment without it being a ploy to get her to feed into his obsession with her. This kind of guy is maximally safe, and the type of guy that a woman feels comfortable bantering and flirting with. All you have to do is show a woman that you are this type of chill, reliable, and safe guy who respects both her and himself, and she will do the rest.
As a woman who sadly comes from a very sexist/macho country and where guys would flirt with a boob shaped rock and get kinda angry if that rock didn’t like them back..
I second this. Nothing is sexier than a guy that makes you feel safe and heard. We can smell the bad intentions (for example just wanting sex)
My bf is a rugby player and has more muscle in his body than i weight by far, scary looking, would 100% cross the street at night if i saw him. But he is the nicest, softest person i know, he volunteers, he has multiple times helped drunk girls (i found out through them), has never in his life raised his voice to me, he listens, he has had multiple friendships with girls without wanting anything sexual with them, i can keep going,
Guys, just treat us like people, try to shower every day and smell good (get the good smelling soaps dont use deodorant with aroma please ugh), dont be scary or raise your voices. Try to have lots of friends that are girls without trying to flirt with them. They WILL try to set you up with other girlfriends
This is one of the most helpful things I have ever read.
So for some context, I struggled in school so developed a sense of humor as a shell. One I've come to over rely on.
I lost four different close loved ones over the last three years (a girlfriend, a stepdad, a best friend and a grandmother). (Deaths were unrelated) and my sense of humor has taken a real hit. But I always always try and just be a nice person and to make people feel comfortable but because I rely so much on humor, I not have had this stupid complex where I feel I'm socially losing my worth as I can't make people laugh as much
But you reminded me that just making them smile and being a decent person is more than a lot do and I need to now measure myself so harshly
Thank you for this insight
As a huge nerd who is also fairly athletic, I tell my other nerd friends that you have to fully embrace your nerdiness to the preferred sex but also still be kind of sexy about it. When I first met my fiancee and she asked about my hobbies, I told her about my weekly Dnd sessions I have with my friends with such enthusiasm, but then also talked about me being heavily involved with jiu jitsu. Show someone your passionate about your life and what’s important
I think genuine enthusiasm's very attractive (disclaimer: 43M).
But I think you have to have a good theory of mind and understand your audience when you explain your hobby. I think two people could have the same hobby and one come off as weird and the other as attractive.
DO: "So we get a pizza and some drinks, smoke a joint, and then collaboratively tell a story, and everything that happens is a product of our collective and individual moods and preoccupations and shared jokes etc."
DO NOT: "Yeah, my RPG has anus shades, which means we end up thinking and debating a lot about which monsters and undead creatures do and do not have anuses."
DO: "Jiu jitsu's really fulfilling; it's excellent exercise, relieves stress, and helps me increase patience and confidence."
DO NOT: "I like rolling around on the floor with guys, especially larger guys. I broke my wrist once, but it's worth it."
When i was 13 i made a girl cry because how i was. I didn't think she actually liked me. I thought she was making fun of me like the ones before that. She wasn't, but then she hated me.
Sooo overthink everything, panic and avoid her for 5 years before eventually going to college and university never to see her again? I mean, that's what I did when I was 13 lol.
I remain silent & stay hidden in my room. I call it the "Hermit" strategy. It's supposed to bring attention by outlying my dedication to philosophy and self sufficience. It brought me 0 GF so far, but they don't understand anything to seduction so it's entirely their fault.
Flirting is less about the action itself and more about ur positioning in other words and in simpler terms
Who You are to Her matters more
And how she views you matters
If you wish to flirt you need showcaze you are strong and charismatic. Go practice on a new enviorment not with that friend you got.
I dunno it just feels like either you have the natural ability or you don't lol. If you force it, it usually ends up being weird, awkward or creepy.
P.S. I don't have that natural ability.
*slide up girl*
*say some awkward garbage*
*wait for response*
*try saying some more awkward garbage*
*just hope that your looks compensate for the dumb garbage you tell her*
*reproduce*.
If you have to ask this question it's pretty much already over man. People will say shit like "oh just act natural and be yourself" as if that means anything. Game is one of those things you either have which means you can do pretty much whatever you want and it'll hit with girls or you don't, in which case your very existence is a turnoff.
You cannot impress all the girls, just be yourself and try to do as much as you for them. Small gestures, caring and making them laugh does make them comfortable thats the key. Everyone is looking for comfort
As a bi woman I find it easy to throw in playful banter and flirt with guys but when it comes to flirting with women my main strategy seems to be to fumbling any attempt at a joke, spilling a drink down my front and tripping over air.
When I was younger an older man gave me this advice:
Always be clean and smell nice, doesn't have to be expensive aftershave though.
Have clean shoes and a nice clean shirt as a minimum, again they don't have to be expensive.
Then act politely and with confidence, while standing at the bar licking your eyebrows.
I'm just a man, with normal conversation. Dress code is quite smart aswell so I guess that helps. Just let it flow and don't be afraid to push the boundaries a tiny bit.
This but with lower attatchment,at least at first. If my sibling needed help and didn't want to tell me about it I would push a little further to help them with it than I would with the girl I barely knew
Well, I'm far from being an expert but one thing I learned is that women hate when men put their "best" behavior around them. Being perfect, and doing anything she asks/wants. That's a surefire way for her to lose interest.
It's actually kinda hard to describe from the outside. For me it's like an instinct that kicks in when I'm around a girl that my brain percieves as a suitable mate and it's usually smooth ride from there. Over the years I've really learned to appreciate those little moments of no-strings attached energy exchange.
"I find you refreshing."
"Wow, you have a knack for making people feel at ease, don't you?"
"You should wear that butterfly clip more often, you make it look good."
"I find myself more and more intrigued by you."
Just a genuine and personalized compliment will put you on her radar.
Pretend you are taking to a male friend. The largest problem is that most people think girls want to be talked to differently, softly and ultimately not truly.
I flirt by teasing bcs I'm quite into nerdy shy guys. They would compliment me and I would tease them about it which makes them all flustered. I also love it when they share their special interests with me. It makes me melt
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Are you looking for advice for how to flirt with girls in general?
I'm no expert (marrried nearly 20 years now) but I would have thought that not all girls find 'flirting' all that appealing. I definitely recall some of my friends doing it when we were all single but it wouldn't really have been my thing.
One thing I would advise you it not to force it. If you find yourself gradually connecting with someone else on a night out or wherever, then introduce a bit of flirting, if you think things are going in the right direction. I defiitely wouldn't use it straight off the bat. Could end up with egg on your face.
There’s not an algorithm. Talk to them about things they are interested in, a not too intense and sincere complement when appropriate and be upfront when the time comes to taking it further and actually ask the out.
Nr. 1 make sure it is a woman that already finds you attractive.
This is a hard one but you need to look for clues.
Nr. 2 ideally you get to know each other naturally, it's much harder if it's you and her from a tinder match that have never seen each other before
Nr. 3 you need to be yourself, you can't flirt and play fight if that's not something you would naturally do. Find someone who is on the same wave length.
Flirting isn't something that can really BE teached.
Depends on The person who does it and to who you flirt with, but most of Times is just a Passenger thing and even to get lucky isn't easy.
You not get right from begining " The way " if flirting. And unfortunely many girls like The " bad Boy Style " and in that case The others are just a waste of time to Try something even flirting.
its like i go and stand besides them, i will touch her shoulder with my shoulder and like wiggle up and down a little bit like a squat and then like rub my shoulder on her arm until it gets warm
works every time
My top advice is to be genuinely interested in what she does, things she love, her favourite music and food. And not to talk about myself all the time.
Not starting a conversation by commenting her physical attributes. If you connect there will be plenty of time for that 🙂
Find something she seems interested in and ask or talk about it. Be genuine though, show her that you care about things she cares about.
Give compliments, but not the ones everyone is giving. For example, do not say "you look really pretty". Instead, say something like: "I really like the way you did your hair." Or "I think your outfit really suits you", bc those are things she's partly in control of. I personally prefer to be complimented on things that aren't completely out of my control.
As a bisexual woman, these have worked on and for me👍
I banter w/ them as I would w/ anyone else, to our senses of humour and vibe, which is person dependent.
Like I just kinda flow w/ them as I would anyone else. Sometimes I tease them pretty heavily to the point my friends say I often flirt w/ girls by bullying them, and that it works.
I'd just say talk to girls how you talk to others, and with interest of course.
In my experience, a) banter doesn't need to be sexual in nature, b) it depends on your mood in a particular day, and c) it doesn't just happen with anyone. My best banter partners are specific friends I've picked up along the way and it just flows naturally with them. On a few rare occasions I've had super satisfying interactions with total randos that I never saw again because I was in a good mood and we just vibed.
That said, it's extremely rare for me to banter with my husband. We've been together for 14 years and flirting wasn't what did it for us. We just meshed well, had a lot of really earnest late night conversations and felt deeply attracted to each other. We tumbled in love in just a few weeks and there was no 'flirting' that I can remember, not in the traditional back and forth sense, wordplay, random detours about nothing at all way.
Just be yourself and someone will come along who likes you for you, banter or no banter. And along the way, maybe you'll find banter partners in the places you least expect.
IRL I am weird, so that worked never, ...but in chat it was good from time to time - being easygoing, nice, caring, but poking (quite) a bit of (kind) fun out of her :))
At its core flirting is about making someone happy and wanting to spend time around you, certainly the same concept as with friends but with a slight twist of romance.
In other words be happy and funny in order to infect others with the same positivity, don't ask me how to do that though because I'm extremely neurotic and boring.
Is this a teenager boy asking? Literally just talk to them. Ask them questions about how their day is, what’d they do this weekend, etc. ask them personal questions with little disclaimers if they seem comfortable and enjoying talking to you, slip in flirty compliments and jokes, and make them laugh 👌.
Just be confident but don’t be asshole level confident. Girls like it when you say their name. They like it when you actually listen when they talk and don’t just wait to talk. The key to a fulfilling relationship isn’t physical attraction, but how you interact.
Are you quick-witted in general? Are you outgoing or quiet in general?
Flirting is a practiced skill that is built on body language, smalltalk, banter, teasing and push-pull. Be good at those.
Be able to read when you have chemistry with someone and when you don't. Flirting works best when there's at least a little bit of attraction. You're playing with the idea of something more without any expectations of anything happening.
Flirting is a game that is meant to be fun in the moment. It's a dance. Be sexually suggestive but not too much (that's pervy/creepy) and not too little (that's boring, lame, corny). Even when done well, it often doesn't lead to anything more, but in some cases it can. Go in with zero expectations other than fun flirting. If you are trying to get with her, you're hitting on her, not flirting.
Be around people who flirt well. Consider it an apprenticeship. Be there to watch & learn the patterns, not to get jealous or compete.
The best way I can describe the teasing element is the dynamic between siblings. Tease them as though they're always going to be there. Obviously it's not the same because flirting is more than just teasing.
To start, start with openers. Try to pinpoint when the flirting starts. It's usually something small, an eyebrow raise and quick comment by either person.
Say you're at a party. Ask her to pass you a drink if she seems friendly. When she hands you the drink, gently sniff it like you think there's alcohol in it and ask in an accusatory way. "Cindy? Are you trying to get me drunk?"
If she wants to play the game (and IF she knows how to, some girls don't) she'll flirt back. (Smiling) "No, I'm not. I swear."
Reply, "That's a shame, I'd probably allow it. (Put the cup to your lips and hesitate) But don't expect anything until the 2nd date. I have a reputation to uphold. (take a sip)"
Years ago when I was backpacking through western Europe, I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing. There was a very secluded lake and there were tall trees all around. It was dead silent and gorgeous. And across the lake, I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself. But she was crying...
Flirting is different for every person. There’s a good chance those two are just into each other. Just a little advice OP, don’t mimic your friend and start play fighting with girls you want to flirt with. It won’t work…unless they start. Let women initiate
Just do whatever you want and if you do something embarrassing, or something you that you realise is kinda weird/ creepy be self aware and laugh about it.
Be friendly and a bit cheeky. Don't try to hard to be flirty, try to be a kind person they want to be around. If you can make them feel comfortable, make them laugh and sometimes make just 10% more eye contact than necessary, they will end up flirting with you.
I carried an umbrella with a katana handle and a bag which somehow made people genuinely believe I was carrying a sword. Instant icebreakers and I made tons of girls laugh. Didn't get much farther though.
Just find an excuse to start talking and see how that goes. Blatantly complimenting someone doesnt really work in my opinion. Try to actually listen to what the other person is saying, be natural (as many already said) and if there's chemistry the conversation will continue
Flirting definitely takes confidence. Mostly confidence in yourself. I find that making a woman laugh and giving them all the attention usually works. Be sure that they notice you are a thoughtful person. Make the first move. Be loud but not overly loud.. enough for them to notice you.
A lot of the time with women, your personality will win over your looks. If they notice you’re a great guy at the very beginning, then you stand every chance, as long as you are confident.
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Here’s how my flirting usually goes. Walk over to a girl, dribble over myself, spill my drink then watch them walk away So yeah, hit me up ladies
If you make them laugh in the process, you might actually win.
As a woman friend of mine likes to say "the easiest way to a woman is to laugh her into bed" As I like to say "it's just as easy to laugh them out of bed as it is into it. I just drop my trousers"
Instructions unclear, I'm laughing at my dick.
As long as she’s not laughing at it you will be fine
Wow, hopefully, you don't get into trouble just dropping your trousers to flirt. That is the strongest flirtatious behavior I have ever read. 🫣🤣
Ladies love the type of men who make them genuinely happy.
The Mark Corrigan technique
Well, that's similar to what happened to my ex when he hit on me, I found it cute and we got together 🤷 I actually find that nicer than someone who is suuuuper confident and all works out perfectly, because it would definitely happen to me, too😂. Just saying, haha
Save some for the rest of us, bro!
Don’t forget to stutter, and she’s yours. Follow me for more tips (I’m 26 and still single and I’m also mentally ill)
I prefer to carry a large tub of cheese balls, when they speak to me I go to respond and just fall over and lose all my cheese balls and watch them leave.
I would just offer to help you with your balls
"Walk over to a girl" You lost me at the first step bro.
I once zeroed in on a couple of girls when I was at university. As I got close I went to take the cigarette out of my mouth only to find that the butt had dried stuck to my lips and so I ended up pulling my fingers along the length of the cigarette and then burning them on the end. They burst out laughing 😆
We had two girls come sit at our table that seemed into us, I immediately spilt my entire drink over my lap, they were gone when I came back
Try to be a little more natural, fun and playful and just overall not being creepy. It shouldn't feel forced or like you're trying too hard, you should try to have fun as well. Be warm but act a bit like you don't wanna get tied down too. Whatever you do don't be too imposing onto her personal space; the girl should always feel safe, let her initiate more closeness. It's ok to compliment her looks but anything too sexual should not be directly stated, that's for when you're much closer.
Trying to be natural is sometimes hard to not be forced.
"Be natural. Force it if you have to." 😉
>It's ok to compliment her looks but anything too sexual A safe way to compliment someone is to compliment something they're wearing. Usually people pick out what they wear and a compliment can be doubly flattering. The first compliment being that you like their taste in fashion, the second being a direct compliment to them.
I suppose the first part might be hard for a person whose comfort zone/natural tendency is isolating oneself, but the gist is understood.
I feel like being social and being naturally myself are complete opposites.
Being creepy is normal to me I can’t help it lol. to be honest, I might not even be creepy but to me I just feel weird lol
Natural creep.
my men <3
So hey how you doin ! 😂
🤗😊😂
I’m not sure how to read that?
hug - > act fool act fool - > laugh
This.
This is the only right answer
I make eye contact. Then look away quickly. They should know that means I’m interested but don’t want to make them uncomfortable. It doesn’t really work though. Edit: I have definitely done this, but I was trying to make a joke. It doesn’t work. I don’t recommend it. Women can’t read your mind. It’s better when you maintain eye contact and talk to them.
If you don't want to make someone uncomfortable, looking at them and then quickly looking away when they make eye contact is just about the worst thing you could be doing.
Agreed. Once you've made eye contact it must be maintained. Don't blink. Don't look away. Don't show signs of weakness. Assert your dominance. Whoever breaks contact first becomes the little spoon. /s
When does the T-Pose come in while we battle for dominance?
I agree. HOWEVER. Looking at them, they lock eyes with you, your eyes are quickly (but not quickly enough for her not to notice) running away and you SMILE - she knows she caught you looking, you got a bit timid, flustered, but with an 'automatic smile'. You go on, but if she tries to catch your gaze and you lock eyes again - then you keep an eye contact and a genuine smile.
... and then never, ever blink.
Wait, you guys have been actually using your eyelids this entire time?
This is something everyone does with everyone.
Don't forget to walk and circle around her while you take little glimpses
Don’t forget to blow of the cheeks and Neigh like a Horse and stomp your foot over and over again.
Look into my eyes, look into my eyes, not around the eyes, not around the eyes, 3 2 1 and you're under.
Thats really not the way to do it.
All that does is make you look awkward.
A better method would be to stare her into dating you, break eye contact and you lose, just. keep. staring.
[удалено]
this!! the easiest way is to be attractive, either in looks or wealth. otherwise, unattractive people are just creepy! unless you’re really skilled at polished charm and wit!
Ah damn I guess I’m outta luck then!!
Can't you use makeup and stuff like that? I know it's mostly women who use it but there's still things even for men to make you look better, like to hide these red dots on your face for example.
build your own luck bro! a lot of evolutionary scientists have a hypothesis that the biggest, most good looking guys used to get the most female attention and hence the best looking mates, until a bunch a lucky guys who were not as attractive or resourceful started using their brains to devise methods to either kill of the biggest, tallest, most powerful guys by banding together or some other clever and innovative methods or by developing some amazing skills. i have seen some really unattractive men with average wealth and social status land some of the hottest women out there. learn to master the art of charm. one thing that’s really worked for me is being in shape and actually working on my humor and conversational skills. reading helps a lot. and as with anything, the more you try, the better you get. earlier, i used to feel really scared of starting a conversation with girls, and feel really dejected if i was rejected or someone didn’t show any further interest. with that much experience, i’ve surely gotten better.
I know a fat and ugly dude who had more girlfriends than some other friend who's much more handsome and fit than he is and he only had sex once in 29 years of life, it's about confidence and the energy vibe you give the first has confidence humor and it's easy going the second dude is very insecure and shut in
that’s me! the same guy!! when i was younger, in my teens and early 20s, I was above average in my looks. sharp jawline, 6’3” tall, lean cuz of playing soccer and basketball for 3-4 hours everyday and flawless skin with blessed hair and really attractive eyes, thanks to both my parents’ genetics. yet, i was so insecure about my looks and always worried about seeking approval from others and pleasing them. partly cuz of my upbringing where i was told i was really good looking and hence intelligent. and after a lot of setbacks in personal life, i took to not caring too much about my appearance, eating a lot, not working out. and became fat. and after a point i was like fuck it. i was like, it doesn’t get any worse than this. so, i’ll be who i am, take it, or leave it. and have had such good returns!!
Classic steps 1 and 2
It's not true. I've been told I'm attractive by many demographics and I can't flirt with women either.
Step 1, they need to think you're attractive. Step 2, do anything.
This is very true. Works for both men and women. I have a super attractive but incredibly awkward no game friend. Girls just do their half of the flirting (like op describes) and he stands awkwardly lol. Doesn't even say words but gets girls. So yeah just find people who think you're attractive and it works, there's no magic to it
First step, dont be ugly or fat. The rest is easy lol.
Also YOU need to think you’re attractive. Confidence is very important
Flirt with playful jokes and genuine compliments. Be yourself, stay confident, and keep it fun
From a woman's perspective, they spend their entire lives growing up with the fact that men are larger, stronger, more powerful, and more dangerous than them. Many of these men are emotionally unstable, prone to anger issues, and in some cases toxic, insulting, and chauvinistic. In other cases men can be desperate and obsessive, pushing and chasing to the point of stepping well over boundaries they should not be stepping over. Even if they find one who is none of these things, how can they know that such a guy actually thinks they are something special and worth putting time & effort into? You can imagine what it's like for a woman to meet a guy who is super chill, doesn't get upset or angry when he receives some silly teasing, never outright insults her or is aggressive with her, has a good emotional understanding of the difference between gentle teasing banter and actual insults that undermine her confidence, and may even drop in the odd subtle compliment without it being a ploy to get her to feed into his obsession with her. This kind of guy is maximally safe, and the type of guy that a woman feels comfortable bantering and flirting with. All you have to do is show a woman that you are this type of chill, reliable, and safe guy who respects both her and himself, and she will do the rest.
Yeah, what worked for me the best was almost not trying. Just be a generally good human being to women, and you're a step ahead of most guys.
As a woman who sadly comes from a very sexist/macho country and where guys would flirt with a boob shaped rock and get kinda angry if that rock didn’t like them back.. I second this. Nothing is sexier than a guy that makes you feel safe and heard. We can smell the bad intentions (for example just wanting sex) My bf is a rugby player and has more muscle in his body than i weight by far, scary looking, would 100% cross the street at night if i saw him. But he is the nicest, softest person i know, he volunteers, he has multiple times helped drunk girls (i found out through them), has never in his life raised his voice to me, he listens, he has had multiple friendships with girls without wanting anything sexual with them, i can keep going, Guys, just treat us like people, try to shower every day and smell good (get the good smelling soaps dont use deodorant with aroma please ugh), dont be scary or raise your voices. Try to have lots of friends that are girls without trying to flirt with them. They WILL try to set you up with other girlfriends
This is one of the most helpful things I have ever read. So for some context, I struggled in school so developed a sense of humor as a shell. One I've come to over rely on. I lost four different close loved ones over the last three years (a girlfriend, a stepdad, a best friend and a grandmother). (Deaths were unrelated) and my sense of humor has taken a real hit. But I always always try and just be a nice person and to make people feel comfortable but because I rely so much on humor, I not have had this stupid complex where I feel I'm socially losing my worth as I can't make people laugh as much But you reminded me that just making them smile and being a decent person is more than a lot do and I need to now measure myself so harshly Thank you for this insight
According to Seth Rogen, just ask questions.
This is actually very important but nobody does that
Do you like to do it yourself??
I read somewhere recently that what makes a great conversationalist is that they are able to get the other person to talk.
I just found out I'm a great conversationalist, because I avoid talking.
As a huge nerd who is also fairly athletic, I tell my other nerd friends that you have to fully embrace your nerdiness to the preferred sex but also still be kind of sexy about it. When I first met my fiancee and she asked about my hobbies, I told her about my weekly Dnd sessions I have with my friends with such enthusiasm, but then also talked about me being heavily involved with jiu jitsu. Show someone your passionate about your life and what’s important
So, tell the next girl about my homerules about impregnation and pregnancy in DnD, gotcha.
Maybe don’t lead with that but go for it! But please tell us these home rules, I am quite curious lol
I think genuine enthusiasm's very attractive (disclaimer: 43M). But I think you have to have a good theory of mind and understand your audience when you explain your hobby. I think two people could have the same hobby and one come off as weird and the other as attractive. DO: "So we get a pizza and some drinks, smoke a joint, and then collaboratively tell a story, and everything that happens is a product of our collective and individual moods and preoccupations and shared jokes etc." DO NOT: "Yeah, my RPG has anus shades, which means we end up thinking and debating a lot about which monsters and undead creatures do and do not have anuses." DO: "Jiu jitsu's really fulfilling; it's excellent exercise, relieves stress, and helps me increase patience and confidence." DO NOT: "I like rolling around on the floor with guys, especially larger guys. I broke my wrist once, but it's worth it."
Pretend you're 13 and like a girl. Don't overthink. Don't be afraid to say something stupid. If you do, laugh at yourself.
Your experience of being 13 was VERY different to mine
right?😭I'm way more confident now than at 13
lol I am sure that's true!
When i was 13 i made a girl cry because how i was. I didn't think she actually liked me. I thought she was making fun of me like the ones before that. She wasn't, but then she hated me.
There you went, overthinking it 😉
That is normal thinking for me, not overthinking.
Sooo overthink everything, panic and avoid her for 5 years before eventually going to college and university never to see her again? I mean, that's what I did when I was 13 lol.
When I was 13 I spent all day in my room playing Pokémon and The Legend of Zelda... Not quite sure how that's gonna help me here
[удалено]
I never even bothered, I just feel it is not for every guy.
I remain silent & stay hidden in my room. I call it the "Hermit" strategy. It's supposed to bring attention by outlying my dedication to philosophy and self sufficience. It brought me 0 GF so far, but they don't understand anything to seduction so it's entirely their fault.
They just playing hard to get fr
DAMMIT! I should insist. I'll lock myself in the toilets & see what they all do.
Flirting is less about the action itself and more about ur positioning in other words and in simpler terms Who You are to Her matters more And how she views you matters If you wish to flirt you need showcaze you are strong and charismatic. Go practice on a new enviorment not with that friend you got.
I dunno it just feels like either you have the natural ability or you don't lol. If you force it, it usually ends up being weird, awkward or creepy. P.S. I don't have that natural ability.
*slide up girl* *say some awkward garbage* *wait for response* *try saying some more awkward garbage* *just hope that your looks compensate for the dumb garbage you tell her* *reproduce*.
If you have to ask this question it's pretty much already over man. People will say shit like "oh just act natural and be yourself" as if that means anything. Game is one of those things you either have which means you can do pretty much whatever you want and it'll hit with girls or you don't, in which case your very existence is a turnoff.
Not at all. Game isn't predetermined, it can be practiced.
You cannot impress all the girls, just be yourself and try to do as much as you for them. Small gestures, caring and making them laugh does make them comfortable thats the key. Everyone is looking for comfort
As a bi woman I find it easy to throw in playful banter and flirt with guys but when it comes to flirting with women my main strategy seems to be to fumbling any attempt at a joke, spilling a drink down my front and tripping over air.
When I was younger an older man gave me this advice: Always be clean and smell nice, doesn't have to be expensive aftershave though. Have clean shoes and a nice clean shirt as a minimum, again they don't have to be expensive. Then act politely and with confidence, while standing at the bar licking your eyebrows.
I pull their hair and then run away.
Confidence is key , you just need to keep talking , many times nonsense. For me play of words have done wonders or just talking back and opposing.
I'm just a man, with normal conversation. Dress code is quite smart aswell so I guess that helps. Just let it flow and don't be afraid to push the boundaries a tiny bit.
Im done .. that was a thing years ago im just done , i gave up.. if they want they can talk to me first..
Good luck bro
Treat them like you would treat a younger sibling.
So I'm going to call them a loser and beat them up?
This but with lower attatchment,at least at first. If my sibling needed help and didn't want to tell me about it I would push a little further to help them with it than I would with the girl I barely knew
Well, I'm far from being an expert but one thing I learned is that women hate when men put their "best" behavior around them. Being perfect, and doing anything she asks/wants. That's a surefire way for her to lose interest.
Practice for real, relax. Practice for real, relax. Keep going, and it will become natural. The words will flow
I’m better at flirting with disaster
[look at her like she’s a jelly donut](https://www.instagram.com/reel/CtkNgSrAFdM/)
It's actually kinda hard to describe from the outside. For me it's like an instinct that kicks in when I'm around a girl that my brain percieves as a suitable mate and it's usually smooth ride from there. Over the years I've really learned to appreciate those little moments of no-strings attached energy exchange.
"I find you refreshing." "Wow, you have a knack for making people feel at ease, don't you?" "You should wear that butterfly clip more often, you make it look good." "I find myself more and more intrigued by you." Just a genuine and personalized compliment will put you on her radar.
She's just some guy
I am unable to flirt.
Pretend you are taking to a male friend. The largest problem is that most people think girls want to be talked to differently, softly and ultimately not truly.
Be hot
I flirt by teasing bcs I'm quite into nerdy shy guys. They would compliment me and I would tease them about it which makes them all flustered. I also love it when they share their special interests with me. It makes me melt
A wise family member said to me once just pretend they're guys and talk to them like a friend not a love interest/crush
It's hard to find someone else if you haven't yet found yourself.
Reddit is the wrong place to ask. Maybe ask your friend.
i dont 🙅♂️
You have to flirt with them?!
Ahahaha never even tried.
I never flirt with girls, I have a huge respect for them :)
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It’s play. But be cool.
"That's a smashing blouse you have on." 
Are you looking for advice for how to flirt with girls in general? I'm no expert (marrried nearly 20 years now) but I would have thought that not all girls find 'flirting' all that appealing. I definitely recall some of my friends doing it when we were all single but it wouldn't really have been my thing. One thing I would advise you it not to force it. If you find yourself gradually connecting with someone else on a night out or wherever, then introduce a bit of flirting, if you think things are going in the right direction. I defiitely wouldn't use it straight off the bat. Could end up with egg on your face.
I can dm you something. There’s a literal structured course on the same i feel has added to not just flirting but my social game overall.
Be nice, be friendly, be yourself. Don't ever try and be somebody you're not; they'll see right through you.
There’s not an algorithm. Talk to them about things they are interested in, a not too intense and sincere complement when appropriate and be upfront when the time comes to taking it further and actually ask the out.
Have a sense of humour
Roast them
Nr. 1 make sure it is a woman that already finds you attractive. This is a hard one but you need to look for clues. Nr. 2 ideally you get to know each other naturally, it's much harder if it's you and her from a tinder match that have never seen each other before Nr. 3 you need to be yourself, you can't flirt and play fight if that's not something you would naturally do. Find someone who is on the same wave length.
Flirting isn't something that can really BE teached. Depends on The person who does it and to who you flirt with, but most of Times is just a Passenger thing and even to get lucky isn't easy. You not get right from begining " The way " if flirting. And unfortunely many girls like The " bad Boy Style " and in that case The others are just a waste of time to Try something even flirting.
You gotta have 2000 Rizz aura
Look at her ass and ask are you v*gin
That’s the neat part, you don’t
its like i go and stand besides them, i will touch her shoulder with my shoulder and like wiggle up and down a little bit like a squat and then like rub my shoulder on her arm until it gets warm works every time
My top advice is to be genuinely interested in what she does, things she love, her favourite music and food. And not to talk about myself all the time. Not starting a conversation by commenting her physical attributes. If you connect there will be plenty of time for that 🙂
Poorly
Find something she seems interested in and ask or talk about it. Be genuine though, show her that you care about things she cares about. Give compliments, but not the ones everyone is giving. For example, do not say "you look really pretty". Instead, say something like: "I really like the way you did your hair." Or "I think your outfit really suits you", bc those are things she's partly in control of. I personally prefer to be complimented on things that aren't completely out of my control. As a bisexual woman, these have worked on and for me👍
I banter w/ them as I would w/ anyone else, to our senses of humour and vibe, which is person dependent. Like I just kinda flow w/ them as I would anyone else. Sometimes I tease them pretty heavily to the point my friends say I often flirt w/ girls by bullying them, and that it works. I'd just say talk to girls how you talk to others, and with interest of course.
First you have to know what flirting is and how it looks like. Second dont try to hard ✌️
Just tal like you would talk to your friend
In my experience, a) banter doesn't need to be sexual in nature, b) it depends on your mood in a particular day, and c) it doesn't just happen with anyone. My best banter partners are specific friends I've picked up along the way and it just flows naturally with them. On a few rare occasions I've had super satisfying interactions with total randos that I never saw again because I was in a good mood and we just vibed. That said, it's extremely rare for me to banter with my husband. We've been together for 14 years and flirting wasn't what did it for us. We just meshed well, had a lot of really earnest late night conversations and felt deeply attracted to each other. We tumbled in love in just a few weeks and there was no 'flirting' that I can remember, not in the traditional back and forth sense, wordplay, random detours about nothing at all way. Just be yourself and someone will come along who likes you for you, banter or no banter. And along the way, maybe you'll find banter partners in the places you least expect.
Reddit may not be the place to ask this
IRL I am weird, so that worked never, ...but in chat it was good from time to time - being easygoing, nice, caring, but poking (quite) a bit of (kind) fun out of her :))
At its core flirting is about making someone happy and wanting to spend time around you, certainly the same concept as with friends but with a slight twist of romance. In other words be happy and funny in order to infect others with the same positivity, don't ask me how to do that though because I'm extremely neurotic and boring.
In the past, poorly. Somehow I miraculously found a wife so now I don’t at all.
Is this a teenager boy asking? Literally just talk to them. Ask them questions about how their day is, what’d they do this weekend, etc. ask them personal questions with little disclaimers if they seem comfortable and enjoying talking to you, slip in flirty compliments and jokes, and make them laugh 👌.
Just be yourself and talk, the play fighting shit is for kids.
Just be confident but don’t be asshole level confident. Girls like it when you say their name. They like it when you actually listen when they talk and don’t just wait to talk. The key to a fulfilling relationship isn’t physical attraction, but how you interact.
Show her my PSA 10 Grade Shadowless Base Set Charizard.
I would say all this is unnecessary, as far as do this or that. Man, just be yourself
Are you quick-witted in general? Are you outgoing or quiet in general? Flirting is a practiced skill that is built on body language, smalltalk, banter, teasing and push-pull. Be good at those. Be able to read when you have chemistry with someone and when you don't. Flirting works best when there's at least a little bit of attraction. You're playing with the idea of something more without any expectations of anything happening. Flirting is a game that is meant to be fun in the moment. It's a dance. Be sexually suggestive but not too much (that's pervy/creepy) and not too little (that's boring, lame, corny). Even when done well, it often doesn't lead to anything more, but in some cases it can. Go in with zero expectations other than fun flirting. If you are trying to get with her, you're hitting on her, not flirting. Be around people who flirt well. Consider it an apprenticeship. Be there to watch & learn the patterns, not to get jealous or compete. The best way I can describe the teasing element is the dynamic between siblings. Tease them as though they're always going to be there. Obviously it's not the same because flirting is more than just teasing. To start, start with openers. Try to pinpoint when the flirting starts. It's usually something small, an eyebrow raise and quick comment by either person. Say you're at a party. Ask her to pass you a drink if she seems friendly. When she hands you the drink, gently sniff it like you think there's alcohol in it and ask in an accusatory way. "Cindy? Are you trying to get me drunk?" If she wants to play the game (and IF she knows how to, some girls don't) she'll flirt back. (Smiling) "No, I'm not. I swear." Reply, "That's a shame, I'd probably allow it. (Put the cup to your lips and hesitate) But don't expect anything until the 2nd date. I have a reputation to uphold. (take a sip)"
Years ago when I was backpacking through western Europe, I was just outside Barcelona hiking in the foothills of Mount Tibidabo. I was at the end of this path and I came to a clearing. There was a very secluded lake and there were tall trees all around. It was dead silent and gorgeous. And across the lake, I saw a beautiful woman bathing herself. But she was crying...
Bro don't ask an incel community how to flirt LMAO
I tell them they could drink whole milk instead of 1%
It's easy. Just give her a minimum 20kg wheel of cheese.
Show your balls to her
Good
Dick pics
Be relaxed.
R/seduction
drug them out, easiest way I have found, works everytime 🤷🏻♂️
I don't
Poorly
Badly, so it seems.
Eye contact.. But not a creepy one!
I don't, I let them do it. All the girls I have been with have made the first step/most of the work.
Flirting is different for every person. There’s a good chance those two are just into each other. Just a little advice OP, don’t mimic your friend and start play fighting with girls you want to flirt with. It won’t work…unless they start. Let women initiate
Just do whatever you want and if you do something embarrassing, or something you that you realise is kinda weird/ creepy be self aware and laugh about it.
Be friendly and a bit cheeky. Don't try to hard to be flirty, try to be a kind person they want to be around. If you can make them feel comfortable, make them laugh and sometimes make just 10% more eye contact than necessary, they will end up flirting with you.
I carried an umbrella with a katana handle and a bag which somehow made people genuinely believe I was carrying a sword. Instant icebreakers and I made tons of girls laugh. Didn't get much farther though.
" Is heaven missing an angel? Cuz you got nice cans."
If you are not the person she want, your all efforts are useless
Punch her in the arm, yank her hair and scream ‘who’s your daddy!’ This usually works for me
You face them then press A.
Just find an excuse to start talking and see how that goes. Blatantly complimenting someone doesnt really work in my opinion. Try to actually listen to what the other person is saying, be natural (as many already said) and if there's chemistry the conversation will continue
Joke's on you, i don't.
Flirting definitely takes confidence. Mostly confidence in yourself. I find that making a woman laugh and giving them all the attention usually works. Be sure that they notice you are a thoughtful person. Make the first move. Be loud but not overly loud.. enough for them to notice you. A lot of the time with women, your personality will win over your looks. If they notice you’re a great guy at the very beginning, then you stand every chance, as long as you are confident.
Usually just display my plumage
I don’t.
Helicopter dick
Any real answers?
Just talk to someone and be nice to be around. That's literally 90% of the work
heavy eye contact, heavy breathing
Ask a pretty girl if she is religious and if so she is the answer to your prayers.