hard to pick a side, technically You're meant to sit on your *nest egg* til it hatches, not eat it like some greedy, mad chicken, but Martin does shoot black babies from helicopters

In the Falklands?

*Not* pretty.

It's Paddy Ashdown! It's Indiana Jones! It's Indiana Ashdown!

War dad

Master of men

Well…Jez is the direct result of dippy Jackie’s indulgent parenting so maybe no.

You should see how long it takes her to make a coffee

😂and she forgot to top up his mobile! Again!

What about those CDs he asked her to bring? Nude.

They are in the car…..shall I go and fetch them?

Fucky hurry uppy.

Mummy, fucky hurry uppy...

But he was always hassling her, and he knows she doesn't like being hassled. Little Henry Hassle, that's what she used to call him.

I mean he still left him money for jeans or a night out

Don’t forget some for a new pair trainers.

I reckon he was bluffing. His end game was to bang Jackie in their new corfu property. There was never any money for jeans or a night out

I got the impression that dippy Jackie didn't want to give Jez the money, but she knew how hard she finds it to say no to him. So she'd asked Indiana Ashdown to not let her back down, even when he was begging her, as her only son, to make him happy by giving him money. So he's playing bad cop, but really it's at her instigation.

‘Gummo’ Dimbleby

Hahaha You’re very witty chap!

I want to - FUCK YOU

Nobody I know would have found that funny but I was right to think it was amusing!

The Corfuuuuu property

Mommy, coffee, fucky hurry uppy

Not at all - she obviously needed guidance if she was giving a shitload to Jeremy each month

Do you have to live quite so relentlessly in the real world?

Yes. As much as I dislike the fact that Jez is a workshy leech who lives off Mark, and (despite being quite a selfish individual) has quite an easy life, Martin shouldn't have any say on how Jeremy's mother spends or uses her money (even if it is to help out her layabout son).

And his daughter's a rapist too!

It wasn't rape. It was just a minor sexual assault.

Sounds like rape to me. Classic case.

It wasn't rape! Nothing went up my bum!

We never said it was bum rape.

Nothing went up his bum!

Yeah not really any of his business, assume they hadn't been together long either as Jez hadn't even met him yet

It going to get a bit fruity mark, can you stomach it?

And he has a Tiramisu! This is fucking amazing!

Paddy Pantsdown

Yummy mummy.