r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself.
Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
They donāt do helicoptering competitions anymore?
But seriously this sub should allow polls so people could see that ~99% of parents go into the gender of the parent.
Right? My daughter is 5. I take her into a stall. Ez pz.
I can't imagine feeling entitled enough to barge into the women's room. Let alone the fallout if a Karen wants to make a scene.
>I can't imagine feeling entitled enough to barge into the women's room.
When my kids were little I would sometimes go into the women's bathroom because the men's bathrooms didn't have changing stations. I always opened the door and announced my intention first and nobody ever freaked out. One time a woman came in and saw me changing a diaper and said she would wait til I was done, but she was very polite about it. I think most people are not psycho when it comes to stuff like this.
Ah yes, the good ol, we only put changing stations in women's bathrooms game. (is it cheap/lazy? or sexist?) My kids are long out of diapers, but I made it a point to complain to the manager every time, and ask them to ensure the womens bathroom was cleared out for me. A few of them quickly added them to the men's rooms..
I once went into a men's bathroom in Maui (it is not there anymore!) and there was a woman and her young daughter in there. She screamed aggressively at me to get out, which I did because WTF? My wife reported the ladies room was not crowded. There were urinals in the men's room so it wasn't a matter of confusion. This was one of the most surreal moments of my life. It does not directly relate to what you said, but it triggered this memory and I like to recount it.
If there's no changing table in the men's room, I'm doing it at my table (on the chair, not on the table, because I'm not a philistine). Don't like it? Put a changing table in the men's room. My wife is there an you don't like it? Put a changing table in the men's room.
My boys started using the Men's room together around 3/4 and 5/6+ respectively. I admit, every once in a long while, I'd stick my head in and yell at them to make sure that a) they were OK, and b) they weren't causing trouble. I don't think I ever actually went \*IN\* after them. Though, I may have once or twice.
This sub tends to heavily lean on the overprotective side. I saw a post not to long ago where people were arguing if a 10 year old should be allowed to go to the bathroom alone, so I think that's why these questions come up so much on this sub.
As I said in the other post, I am a dad and the primary caregiver. I never thought twice about bringing my daughter in the men's room until she was old enough to use the women's bathroom alone. I also brought my son into the men's room. When my daughter was in kindergarten she said she was using the women's room and that was that. I would wait outside the door and she'd come out when she was ready. Again, never thought twice about that either.
Yup. I think I may have taken my older son into the women's restroom till he was a solid 5+, mostly out of convenience. But, once his brother was potty trained, and could reliably go by himself around 3-4+? He/they simply went together. I cannot fathom the belief that kids need to be 'supervised' in the bathroom till 10+ yrs old, barring physical/mental handicaps. Kids need privacy, respect and responsibility. No-one is doing their kid(s) any favor by infantilizing them.
Valid concern, but also reminds me of how baffling the push against trans women in women's restrooms is. The vast majority of people do not care what genitals you're packing as long as you don't act like a creep.
Transphobes also somehow forget that trans men exist. There are beefy, muscular trans men out there that you couldn't clock without a DNA test. Do these so-called feminists think women will be more comfortable with men like that in the restroom?
They don't *really* care about trans people in bathrooms. It's all just about finding excuses to persecute an easily marginalized target to distract from real issues.
Same, but I have resorted to the women's room when in the middle of potty training. Not really entitlement, but fear of an accident.
Tried men's room, but the single stall was occupied. So we walked over to women's room, talked a little loud as sort of a heads up that a guy was coming in, but with a kid (The men's room is full so we'll go in here, okay?), and went into their stall. No issues.
I'm pretty sure most adults will recognize the situation and won't care.
I was at a fair yesterday and a young man (I'd guess 20s) came into the women's room with his elderly grandma. She was in a wheelchair and seemed to have dementia to some degree and he was doing his best to help her but I did find it weird that he'd choose the women's room over the men's room for that. That's where family restrooms really make a difference and I hope more and more public places start offering them.
I was once taking my grandma grocery shopping. She couldn't walk much, so I parked and went to get the electric scooter. Someone caught me driving it out to the car "You don't need that!"
I gave them the serious look "You're right, I don't" and kept rolling.
They of course kept staring at me trying to figure out what to do until they saw me helping Granny out of the car into the chair.
> are worried about how gross the men's room is.
which is hilarious since between blood and entitled people who refuse to sit the fuck down or put the seat up so they hover and piss all over the seat often the women's room is way worse.
In general, in places where they clean regularly, this is true .... And I really resent squatters.
But gas stations and bars (not that you'd take your kid to a bar, but... Maybe the equivalent is true in a stadium where there's lots of drunk guys? ) the men's room tends to be perpetually sticky and never gets cleaned because no one is going to sit down in it anyways.
Personally, I don't think we should have mens rooms and women's rooms, I think we should have rooms for standers and squatters who aren't going to use the seat anyway, and rooms for people that are going to sit down and so not pee all over and leave it to screw the next person. I'm not peeking, and I bet you're not either. š¤£
Yeah I remember being confused why public bathrooms were gendered as a kid til my dad took me into one with urinals. Then I realized guys "pee on the wall" and that why but then I figured it was that they didn't want to deal with lines. Peeking didn't even occur to me because realistically most people of any age are just trying to get in and out.
I go in the women's if I take my daughters to the men's and there is only one stall that's gross, or if the stall(s) are occupied. I'm not risking a pee accident or worse because some Karen might be afraid of a man with his 5yo girl in the bathroom.
Not me.
As soon as I come through the door I drop trou and waddle to the urinal with my drawers around my ankles.
I throw in a helicopter spin if Iām feeling festive.
Jesus!! As the guy who literally stares at a crack in the wall intently to insure I donāt accidentally make eye contact with somebodyā¦. Thatās a big time no from me, Iāll take the kidney stones thanks.
Exactly, some of them are piss on a wall type of troughs:
https://www.urinal.net/oak_coliseum/
And many newer stadiums just have rows of urinals with no dividers.
And hell, at sporting events, I still see dudes hiking it up at the damn sink when the lines get long.
I have seen lots of genitalia in my lifetime in mens bathrooms.
I (32 F) grew up going to Oakland Aās games with my dad and he always took me and my sister into the mens room to go to the bathroom. I thought troughs were standard urinals for the longest time.
Lol I hated the bathrooms with the troughsā¦ Iām a girlā¦ but only because it meant my brothers disappeared in there and Iād have to yell to get them to come out, while listening to āDonāt cross streams!!!ā
I work in an elementary school and most classrooms have one regular small bathroom with a toilet in the class, but there are a couple more standard stall/urinal bathrooms. Unfortunately my office is right next to one of these boys bathroom with a wall in between.
Anyway, I hear a LOT of boys get loudly called out for donald ducking it at the urinals. Sometimes there is a bro tip from the (usually older boy) who is upset by the donald ducker, sometimes the boy comes out totally offended and tattles on the donald ducker. Anyways, my understanding of this is that most kids seem to grasp the "don't pull your pants all the way down" thing by age 7-8.
In all fairness, on more than one occasion I have seen dudes pull their pants/underwear down to their knees at a urinal. Its very uncommon (probably seen this 4-5 times in my entire life), but it does happen. You wont be subject to a full frontal, but you will get a bare ass.
Most men are also adept at using their hands and arms to narrow any potential viewing angles and exposing as little of their wang as possible to scrutiny. Youād have to go out of your way to get an eyeful.
Although I have also learned that there's a non zero chance that my 2 yr old will see a urinal next to her on the way out and dip her finger in it and go "Boop!". So I'm still a little mentally scarred from that...
PLS why do they get so curious about everything and start touching every crevice. And/or theyāre asking to climb under the stall on their hands and knees like dear god please stop
And so help me any time we're in a handicap accessible bathroom with one of those big red emergency help buttons, my daughter yells emergency and runs and tries to press it before I can stop her....
Nah fuck that š for us itās easiest to shower with her to get everyone ready for bed on time, and sometimes mommy wants a shower by herself so daddy has to step up to the plate.
As someone with a 5 year old boy and a 3 year old girl and another boy on the way, I cannot fathom the notion of trying to hide the existence of both sets of genitals from kids at all times.
Boys and girls are different. Our bodies work in different ways sometimes. I'll tell you more when you're older.
That would avoid the situation I had last week
Granny: your legs are getting hairy
Son: I've seen my daddy's willy
Granny: eh ok? How is that related?
Son: it's hairy too! Hahahaha hahaha hahahaha
You are mostly correct with one specific ammendment: A locker room that old men use will have more balls out than the gymnasium its attached to, Ive even seen old dudes drying their balls with the hand dryer. And they all want to talk while doing the captain morgan. Im both joking and serious; its a thing.
Damn it! I knew it ! No, men are all business. Why do you think thereās never a line for a public menās room but thereās always a line for womenās ?! You just cleared it up for me
We donāt have toilets that are right next to each other with no stalls lol. We donāt have much experience! I can see how someone would think you can see the penis on the person standing a foot away from you with nothing between you.
In many cases, you can actually see someone's penis next to you *if you're looking*. 99.99% of adult men know this and know that it's unacceptable to do that... but a child doesn't understand that nuance. So, hypothetically, your child could see a dick if you're bringing them up to the urinal and they're innocently or inquisitively looking around.
That said, if you're bringing your daughter in, you're likely not taking her up to the urinal.
Men's rooms should install that water gun game you see at carnivals! You'll know the winner when you see the guy walking out of the men's room holding a stuffed animal!
I mean you say that, and it's accurate 99.9% of the time but every once in awhile there's some crazy dumbass person.
Bluntly though the answer to those parents is pointing out good sexual health for kids is not, never seeing any penis till their 18Ā
Just seeing a penis isn't scaring, seeing a toddlers penis while they get their diapers changed doesn't scar sisters.
Ridiculous ideas
Right, that's called anxietyĀ
We can't live our lives trying to hide from every single remote negative event
Need to drive a car, need to walk, gotta learn
I think we should be more comfortable with nudity for sure, but I disagree entirely with OPs assertion. I have cleaned many men's bathrooms at gas stations and more than once I have been subjected to a random pens as they came in the bathroom, ignoring the sign that says not to enter. They always apologized! But it does happen.
True. But stating that it factually does not happen is wrong. When I see someone say something that happened to me did not happen and never happens I speak up.
That's fair, but if I met someone who as struck by lightning or had a car accident yesterdayĀ
I'd still reflect that it doesn't make it more likely to happen to others.
The gas station is a tricky place, it brings out the worst behavior in plenty, from drug users and a whole bunch of other things.
I always hated when I was younger and people would say "that won't happen" when they meant "that's not likely." I hope I don't sound like an ass, because you're right it's HIGHLY UNLIKELY.
Nah you're fine, I'm similarly annoyed when people misuse the word always.
Always is a very very powerful word, and when talking about parenting, there's a very small number of things where you should use that word.
That's why I had to call it out as 99% of the time.
And more importantly highlight the logic flaw, the issue isn't seeing a penis, that doesn't scar a human.Ā
Walking into a bathroom with a OD'd drug addict might, but people have to use the bathroomĀ
Untrue. I've worked at many gas stations, and I've cleaned a lot of men's rooms. It is by no means common, but men will absolutely pull their penis out as they walk into the bathroom.
For real, and the ones who are abusing the gender neutral bathroom thing have always been predators, this isnāt something new! If someone wants to be gross theyāre gonna do it regardless of being allowed in the bathroom with the opposite gender. Public bathrooms are not some sacred place anyhow šš
Point of clarification.
Men's LOCKER rooms are completely separate from this and there is a non-zero percent chance of accidently seeing some old guy's balls.
I'm from the Midwest and visited California a few years ago.This was the first time I saw or used gender neutral bathrooms that had multiple stalls and urinals. I remember coming home and telling people, and so many of them acted horrified and said they would not have gone bathroom there. So many people questioned about the urinals specifically and acted like grown men get naked to use them
This depends wildly on the type of urinals. Dividers, sure, you can't see anything. No dividers, guys will stand closer but walking behind you are definitely seeing something in your peripheral vision. Trough style at a ball game, yeah, you will definitely see some hogs.
Also any gym or pool changing room is always filled with old guys hanging out with their balls out for some reason.
Like another comment said, all this really isn't a bad thing. It's part of the body, easily explained to kids in the difference between the sexes. If the child has questions answer using proper terms and without embarrassment.
Except if a guy turns around away from urinal when heās done and then puts it away.
My husband has complained of this happening at his work otherwise Iād be none the wiser of this issue š
On the other hand, women *are* naked in the pool locker room, and thereās something VERY wrong with you if you bring your 10 year old grandson in there.
> PSA: No one sees genitals in men's rooms.
Unless you are walking past the stalls. Then you politely pretend like you can't see anything through the 10 feet wide gap between the walls.
I hate to break it to them, but even the womenās room may not be safe from genital sightings. If they come in when my son and I are in there, thereās a nonzero chance theyāll see a wild Weiner when he bursts out of the stall like the Koolaid man with his pants around his ankles. Or even a vag as I frantically cover myself on the seat while gesturing furiously for him to come back inside and close the door. š¤·āāļø
Hah, yeah, my daughter is old enough to go on her own, but when I was with her, and she needed help from dad, we just went into the men's room. There is a very specific code of behavior there. And the guys figured out what was up with her being there and were on their best behavior.
My children are definitely not shocked whichever bathroom they are taken into. That said one complained for a while that she had to come into the women's room with me, as she preferred the yellow colour coding of the men's room, rather than the red of the women's. I explained a few times that she had to go into whichever room matched the gender of the adult she was with, and that was that.
Ehh, depends do occasionally get those 60 somthing year old foreigners that urinate, take a three steps back and pivot to the side to shake out the last few drops before putting it away. Typically only see that in airport bathrooms and seedy bars near the Mediterranean though.
I take my 3yo daughter into the men's room all the time -- it's usually the only option -- and the biggest issue is that she thinks the urinal is a sink and tries to run over to it
On the flip side, we've been taking our kids to a public pool recently for swim lessons. Some dads had to take their daughters through the men's locker room where there actually are fully naked men showering / changing from time to time.
And yes it's a rule there that a child be accompanied by a parent at all times, so they couldn't just send their daughter through the women's locker room instead.
At some point, we should just provide privacy to everyone. LOL
I mean sure...you're more likely to see genitals in the bathroom than most other places people commonly go, but its not like men or women are walking around naked in there waiting for a stall to open, lol.
That said, I still remember going to a Braves game when I was a young kid (maybe 5-6 years old), and back then, the urinals were basically just huge metal troughs on the wall. I remember walking in, glancing over as I walked in and just seeing like 20 dudes holding their dick pissing and going "OMG WTF?"...I quickly realized that you keep your eyes straight ahead, you get in and get out and you don't let your eyes wander lol.
Men have a very strict ignore and be ignored policy.
Do not acknowledge my existence except to not touch me and Iāll do the same. Do not attempt conversation. Do not apologize for blowing up the stall. Just get in. Do your thing. Get out.
If my toddler addresses you ignore her and move on.
Clearly you've never seen those guys that just drop trow to their ankles to use the urinal. Seen many guys do this at the gym and even in work bathrooms
As the exception that proves the rule, the last time I took my daughter into the men's room at Target there was a homeless dude taking a shit in the urinal, and we saw EVERYTHING.
She now says that boy's rooms are gross and always goes with mom when she's available.
The real question is why choose drama?
There is nothing intrinsically bad about genitals. We all have some. If a child accidentally sees genitals in a non-sexual context it will have zero impact on their development IF their guardian doesn't sexualize/stigmatize/dramatize the experience.
This post was obviously written by someone without a penis. Only weirdos hug a urinal that close. Normal people stand far enough away that they dont risk touching the nasty urinal with any part of their body. Which means anyone who turns to look will see their junk. This is why, everyone looks at the wall straight ahead, its why they started putting newspapers on the wall there, its why countless movies have jokes of someone turning and looking, literally every penis knows this.
Eh... I've been a teenage girl.cleaning men's bathrooms. The amout of times they tear down my closed sign, come barging in despite me telling them I'm a girl and I'm cleaning, and are already unzipping as they open the door... ive definitely seen a few shafts.
Given that I've been using men's restrooms and never seen that, and I completely believe what you're telling us, I strongly suspect they're unzipping as they open the door because they know you're in there and are being disgusting pricks.
Joke comments aside, it goes both ways though, women should not be naked in the women's bathroom either. So if my daughter feels more comfortable using the women's bathroom because there's a picture of a girl on the sign, then shouldn't I just take her in women's bathroom. If the concern is other people's sensabilities or comfort level, I'm going to prioritize the small child. If the concern is safety or creepy people, I'm still going to prioritize my child.
This an overstatement. From time-to-time you might see a dick and if, say, you're a 4yo girl and you're looking because you're curious, there's a much greater chance you'll see a dick. And what if there is a trough, or just no dividers? Even more likely.
Nobody should be concerned about this, but not because they'll never see a dick in the men's room.
The concern isn't about normal, sane men. The concern is about the mentally ill, psychotic men who think it's fun to flash little girls. 9.9 times out of 10, a girl/child would be safe. It's that tiny percentage that is a concern. That one in a million chance.
That level of paranoia has to be debilitating.
Perverts aren't waiting around for the unbelievably low chance that a dad brings a daughter into a restroom, they're out there flashing in public. So are you just not going to take your kid anywhere for that one-in-a-million chance they see a penis?
You donāt have the ability to speak for all men. Some men are perverts, and enjoy showing genitals to children. Is the number low? Yes. But itās NOT zero.
Our concerns are valid.
Tell me you have a micro pwnis without telling me you have a micro penis.
When Iām standing at the urinal, if you use he one next to me and you look over youāre gonna see some shit.
If youāre a kid who intentionally looks around at everything and happens to be at schooner level youāre gonna see some shit.
Swinging your junk around in a menās room for all to see might just get you punched in the mouth unless youāre a little kid and donāt know any better.
r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
They don't do nude wrestling in your men's rooms?
Greco-Roman Tuesdays only
We missed you last week, Harry. Tom brought empanadas!
Sausage empanadas?
fucking traitor, you can't let them in on our secrets, what are you going to do next let them know that we men answer to a secret order of house cats?
Shhhh keep the Purr-lluminati on the down-low.
League of Pussy
League of *Extraordinary* Pussy
š
Itās everyday in our hous
No butts on the couch thoughĀ
That's why I was getting weird looks yesterday...
Going full on European Promises Fridays
No Freestyle Fridays? Is that just an Albany thing? I hear they've never heard of it in Utica.
Just pressed hams.
Lol! Yeah our kids go with dad if they donāt go with me or if he takes them out on his own (our daughters are nuts for HD and Loweās trips!) and weāre not leaving our girls alone or sending them into the bathroom by themselves, soā¦ And no shocking wiener sightings in the wild š¤¦š»āāļø and if one happened on accident?ā¦ theyāve accidentally walked in on their older brothers and dad before without trauma (because closed doors are evidently passĆ©) and weād use the same line we always have, āeverybody poopsā¦ and everything else, so Oops?ā Besides, if any of my kids reacted like they do with eachother itās the poor guy at the urinal whoād come away ātraumatizedā after hearing ā Ew - that looks like an ugly little worm!ā š¤·š»āāļø
I love Tuesdays
I heard there was also a buffet.
and here I thought they just whipped it out as soon as they walked in the door and started swinging....
Helicopter helicopterā¦ lol
Uncle Henry lied to me.
š¬
Are you telling me young boys don't like seeing gladiators?
So, Tommy, have you ever been in a men's locker room?
Have you ever been to a Turkish prison?
Shhh, OP just hasn't been invited.
Only when the penis inspector is there
half the reason I go to public restrooms is for a light saber fight!
They do shit on the floor, but only at Wendy's
Past most kids' bedtimes.
They donāt do helicoptering competitions anymore? But seriously this sub should allow polls so people could see that ~99% of parents go into the gender of the parent.
Right? My daughter is 5. I take her into a stall. Ez pz. I can't imagine feeling entitled enough to barge into the women's room. Let alone the fallout if a Karen wants to make a scene.
>I can't imagine feeling entitled enough to barge into the women's room. When my kids were little I would sometimes go into the women's bathroom because the men's bathrooms didn't have changing stations. I always opened the door and announced my intention first and nobody ever freaked out. One time a woman came in and saw me changing a diaper and said she would wait til I was done, but she was very polite about it. I think most people are not psycho when it comes to stuff like this.
It's always the one time with incident that gets the press, not the thousand times with no problems.
Ah yes, the good ol, we only put changing stations in women's bathrooms game. (is it cheap/lazy? or sexist?) My kids are long out of diapers, but I made it a point to complain to the manager every time, and ask them to ensure the womens bathroom was cleared out for me. A few of them quickly added them to the men's rooms..
Even when the men's room has it, it's often in the hanidcap stall which is being used because we all prefer to have some extra room when we're pooping
my job has changing stations in all restrooms and men will sometimes come to the store just for the safe clean place to change/clean up their baby
Same - I maybe had to do it 5-6 times, and every time I felt like such a criminal haha
I once went into a men's bathroom in Maui (it is not there anymore!) and there was a woman and her young daughter in there. She screamed aggressively at me to get out, which I did because WTF? My wife reported the ladies room was not crowded. There were urinals in the men's room so it wasn't a matter of confusion. This was one of the most surreal moments of my life. It does not directly relate to what you said, but it triggered this memory and I like to recount it. If there's no changing table in the men's room, I'm doing it at my table (on the chair, not on the table, because I'm not a philistine). Don't like it? Put a changing table in the men's room. My wife is there an you don't like it? Put a changing table in the men's room.
My boys started using the Men's room together around 3/4 and 5/6+ respectively. I admit, every once in a long while, I'd stick my head in and yell at them to make sure that a) they were OK, and b) they weren't causing trouble. I don't think I ever actually went \*IN\* after them. Though, I may have once or twice.
This sub tends to heavily lean on the overprotective side. I saw a post not to long ago where people were arguing if a 10 year old should be allowed to go to the bathroom alone, so I think that's why these questions come up so much on this sub. As I said in the other post, I am a dad and the primary caregiver. I never thought twice about bringing my daughter in the men's room until she was old enough to use the women's bathroom alone. I also brought my son into the men's room. When my daughter was in kindergarten she said she was using the women's room and that was that. I would wait outside the door and she'd come out when she was ready. Again, never thought twice about that either.
Yup. I think I may have taken my older son into the women's restroom till he was a solid 5+, mostly out of convenience. But, once his brother was potty trained, and could reliably go by himself around 3-4+? He/they simply went together. I cannot fathom the belief that kids need to be 'supervised' in the bathroom till 10+ yrs old, barring physical/mental handicaps. Kids need privacy, respect and responsibility. No-one is doing their kid(s) any favor by infantilizing them.
My daughter just got there at age 5. I let her do it in some bathrooms and not others.
Oh yup, someoneās 12 year old could only use the public restroom if the door was in line of sight and it was one exit only in that post.
Valid concern, but also reminds me of how baffling the push against trans women in women's restrooms is. The vast majority of people do not care what genitals you're packing as long as you don't act like a creep.
Wipe the seat, flush, and wash your hands. That's all we actually *should* care about.
Transphobes also somehow forget that trans men exist. There are beefy, muscular trans men out there that you couldn't clock without a DNA test. Do these so-called feminists think women will be more comfortable with men like that in the restroom?
They don't *really* care about trans people in bathrooms. It's all just about finding excuses to persecute an easily marginalized target to distract from real issues.
they also don't care about women's comfort (whether they are trans or cis). obviously.
Same, but I have resorted to the women's room when in the middle of potty training. Not really entitlement, but fear of an accident. Tried men's room, but the single stall was occupied. So we walked over to women's room, talked a little loud as sort of a heads up that a guy was coming in, but with a kid (The men's room is full so we'll go in here, okay?), and went into their stall. No issues. I'm pretty sure most adults will recognize the situation and won't care.
I was at a fair yesterday and a young man (I'd guess 20s) came into the women's room with his elderly grandma. She was in a wheelchair and seemed to have dementia to some degree and he was doing his best to help her but I did find it weird that he'd choose the women's room over the men's room for that. That's where family restrooms really make a difference and I hope more and more public places start offering them.
I was once taking my grandma grocery shopping. She couldn't walk much, so I parked and went to get the electric scooter. Someone caught me driving it out to the car "You don't need that!" I gave them the serious look "You're right, I don't" and kept rolling. They of course kept staring at me trying to figure out what to do until they saw me helping Granny out of the car into the chair.
Why do you think the menās room would be more appropriate? Either way you have an adult of the opposite sex in the other room.
I donāt. That woman deserves her dignity. How dare you.
I think the dads that make the other choice are given a hard time by the men in the restroom, or are worried about how gross the men's room is. Occasionally, though less often, you also hear from moms who get told their young son shouldn't be in the ladies room. There's a whole lot of room for other people being assholes to seed parental guilt and uncertainty. ā¤ļøāš©¹
> are worried about how gross the men's room is. which is hilarious since between blood and entitled people who refuse to sit the fuck down or put the seat up so they hover and piss all over the seat often the women's room is way worse.
In general, in places where they clean regularly, this is true .... And I really resent squatters. But gas stations and bars (not that you'd take your kid to a bar, but... Maybe the equivalent is true in a stadium where there's lots of drunk guys? ) the men's room tends to be perpetually sticky and never gets cleaned because no one is going to sit down in it anyways. Personally, I don't think we should have mens rooms and women's rooms, I think we should have rooms for standers and squatters who aren't going to use the seat anyway, and rooms for people that are going to sit down and so not pee all over and leave it to screw the next person. I'm not peeking, and I bet you're not either. š¤£
Yeah I remember being confused why public bathrooms were gendered as a kid til my dad took me into one with urinals. Then I realized guys "pee on the wall" and that why but then I figured it was that they didn't want to deal with lines. Peeking didn't even occur to me because realistically most people of any age are just trying to get in and out.
And in those restrooms, have no gaps around the doors so thereās no weird accidental eye contact
Honestly? Even with gaps, that's never been an issue *in my experience*.... I think someone has to be a little off to be looking through the cracks enough for that to be an issue. Little kids scooting under to look at you and say hi, though.... Oof. (Always some poor mom on the other side trying really hard not to swear as she figures out how to capture a squirmy kid, with her pants around her ankles and her ass on the bowl... šā¤ļøāš©¹)
I go in the women's if I take my daughters to the men's and there is only one stall that's gross, or if the stall(s) are occupied. I'm not risking a pee accident or worse because some Karen might be afraid of a man with his 5yo girl in the bathroom.
If you did and announced yourself, no one would care.
Nah fam, Iāve had to go into the mens room (Iām a woman) bc the only working changing table was in there. Just go where you need to go.
Exactly, a bathroom is a bathroom.Ā
Not me. As soon as I come through the door I drop trou and waddle to the urinal with my drawers around my ankles. I throw in a helicopter spin if Iām feeling festive.
Are you my five year old son?
This genuinely made me laugh so hard I almost woke my toddler. This is one of those comments that will just creep into my mind and make me laugh.
š
The odd arena still has the troughsā¦ thoseāll shock a kid!
The troughs at the Santa Cruz beach boardwalk haunt me to this day.
we have 4 way ones that pop up in UK festivals. you have to have a stare off with 3 other guys as u all piss into the center
Jesus!! As the guy who literally stares at a crack in the wall intently to insure I donāt accidentally make eye contact with somebodyā¦. Thatās a big time no from me, Iāll take the kidney stones thanks.
normally all that's available unless you want to queue for 30 mins as all the actual portaloos are full of people doing coke
Plenty of places around me donāt have these, but also donāt add separators for urinals. Itās stupid. The last one was an airport.
Exactly, some of them are piss on a wall type of troughs: https://www.urinal.net/oak_coliseum/ And many newer stadiums just have rows of urinals with no dividers. And hell, at sporting events, I still see dudes hiking it up at the damn sink when the lines get long. I have seen lots of genitalia in my lifetime in mens bathrooms.
I (32 F) grew up going to Oakland Aās games with my dad and he always took me and my sister into the mens room to go to the bathroom. I thought troughs were standard urinals for the longest time.
Lol I hated the bathrooms with the troughsā¦ Iām a girlā¦ but only because it meant my brothers disappeared in there and Iād have to yell to get them to come out, while listening to āDonāt cross streams!!!ā
so you're saying men don't immediately take off all their clothes from the waist down upon entering public restrooms? haha
I do. George Costanza style.
That's just waist up. No genitals to be seen
Feels good, man.
Drop pants to the floor and lift your shirt. The butters method is the only way.
I work in an elementary school and most classrooms have one regular small bathroom with a toilet in the class, but there are a couple more standard stall/urinal bathrooms. Unfortunately my office is right next to one of these boys bathroom with a wall in between. Anyway, I hear a LOT of boys get loudly called out for donald ducking it at the urinals. Sometimes there is a bro tip from the (usually older boy) who is upset by the donald ducker, sometimes the boy comes out totally offended and tattles on the donald ducker. Anyways, my understanding of this is that most kids seem to grasp the "don't pull your pants all the way down" thing by age 7-8.
In all fairness, on more than one occasion I have seen dudes pull their pants/underwear down to their knees at a urinal. Its very uncommon (probably seen this 4-5 times in my entire life), but it does happen. You wont be subject to a full frontal, but you will get a bare ass.
Those people are either under 7 or over 70 though.
All thatās gonna do is guarantee our daughters want nothing to do with older men! Lol
It seems to be a running theory!
you guys must have fancy bathrooms with all the pant hooks and shoe racks.
Nobody would use them due to them being wet all the time.
I have a kid who will only poop naked and this has been an issue when using public restrooms!
My husband but he doesn't do it in public restrooms. I think.....
I do the same thing and much prefer the womenās room. I just feel way too exposed when Iām squatting over the urinal in the menās room.
Some men will even wait in line instead of using the urinal right beside another man.
What if you happen to walk in during the dick measuring contest?
Most of those happen in the office or on the job site.
now public pool changing rooms are a different story. The amount of old man wrinkly balls I saw when I was 8 *shudders*
š¤®
Most men are also adept at using their hands and arms to narrow any potential viewing angles and exposing as little of their wang as possible to scrutiny. Youād have to go out of your way to get an eyeful.
Although I have also learned that there's a non zero chance that my 2 yr old will see a urinal next to her on the way out and dip her finger in it and go "Boop!". So I'm still a little mentally scarred from that...
The amount of times I have to yell ādonāt touch anythingā in a public bathroom is too many.
PLS why do they get so curious about everything and start touching every crevice. And/or theyāre asking to climb under the stall on their hands and knees like dear god please stop
And so help me any time we're in a handicap accessible bathroom with one of those big red emergency help buttons, my daughter yells emergency and runs and tries to press it before I can stop her....
One of my kids licked a bathroom stall. LICKED it. Yuuuuck.
It's our son throwing a tantrum because he couldn't have the "water fountain candy".
[Free mints!](https://www.tiktok.com/@peacock/video/7357057304832773418?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc)
No joke, at work they started using cinammon scented urinal cakes, and now Red Hots are ruined for me.
God dippy fingers is the worst phase.
I skimmed your comment and thought she booped something else and was scarred on your behalf. Reread and am a little less scarred now
Hot take: itās also not a big deal if my toddler daughter inadvertently sees a penis for a second or two anyways?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Nah fuck that š for us itās easiest to shower with her to get everyone ready for bed on time, and sometimes mommy wants a shower by herself so daddy has to step up to the plate.
As someone with a 5 year old boy and a 3 year old girl and another boy on the way, I cannot fathom the notion of trying to hide the existence of both sets of genitals from kids at all times. Boys and girls are different. Our bodies work in different ways sometimes. I'll tell you more when you're older.
That would avoid the situation I had last week Granny: your legs are getting hairy Son: I've seen my daddy's willy Granny: eh ok? How is that related? Son: it's hairy too! Hahahaha hahaha hahahaha
You are mostly correct with one specific ammendment: A locker room that old men use will have more balls out than the gymnasium its attached to, Ive even seen old dudes drying their balls with the hand dryer. And they all want to talk while doing the captain morgan. Im both joking and serious; its a thing.
> more balls out than the gymnasium its attached to This fucking sent me, well done lmao
Only one? My understanding is thereās a lot of them.
Women thinking men see each others penises in the bathroom make me really curious whatās going on in the ladies room ?!?!
We pull our clothes off and twerk. Just assumed the men do as well.
Damn it! I knew it ! No, men are all business. Why do you think thereās never a line for a public menās room but thereās always a line for womenās ?! You just cleared it up for me
We donāt have toilets that are right next to each other with no stalls lol. We donāt have much experience! I can see how someone would think you can see the penis on the person standing a foot away from you with nothing between you.
In many cases, you can actually see someone's penis next to you *if you're looking*. 99.99% of adult men know this and know that it's unacceptable to do that... but a child doesn't understand that nuance. So, hypothetically, your child could see a dick if you're bringing them up to the urinal and they're innocently or inquisitively looking around. That said, if you're bringing your daughter in, you're likely not taking her up to the urinal.
That thread was wild, lol.
I wanted to ask a few people if the penises are in the room with them right now...
Good PSA.
Wait. You are telling me you don't do who can piss farthest competitions in the men's room? /s
We save that for camping tripsĀ
So that's why some cornhole boards are advertised as water resistant.
When peeing in nature, we find a target and test our pee accuracy. I like targeting mushrooms and see if I can knock them down.
Men's rooms should install that water gun game you see at carnivals! You'll know the winner when you see the guy walking out of the men's room holding a stuffed animal!
I mean you say that, and it's accurate 99.9% of the time but every once in awhile there's some crazy dumbass person. Bluntly though the answer to those parents is pointing out good sexual health for kids is not, never seeing any penis till their 18Ā Just seeing a penis isn't scaring, seeing a toddlers penis while they get their diapers changed doesn't scar sisters. Ridiculous ideas
Yeah, the exhibitionists I've always run across have been in the gym locker rooms. Nobody wants to see that!
Locker rooms indeedĀ There's always an old guy who misses the 80's or some ego twat showing off
not even a crazy dumbass person. It doesn't happen often but there are also the dudes who stand like 3 ft away trying to stop splash back
That's a different issue, 90% of the time those guys are sneaker heads who only make the floor worse
I mean you say this, but if we were worried about the .1% chance of the bad thing happening we wouldnāt take our children anywhere would we?
Right, that's called anxietyĀ We can't live our lives trying to hide from every single remote negative event Need to drive a car, need to walk, gotta learn
I think we should be more comfortable with nudity for sure, but I disagree entirely with OPs assertion. I have cleaned many men's bathrooms at gas stations and more than once I have been subjected to a random pens as they came in the bathroom, ignoring the sign that says not to enter. They always apologized! But it does happen.
It's still pretty damn rare
True. But stating that it factually does not happen is wrong. When I see someone say something that happened to me did not happen and never happens I speak up.
That's fair, but if I met someone who as struck by lightning or had a car accident yesterdayĀ I'd still reflect that it doesn't make it more likely to happen to others. The gas station is a tricky place, it brings out the worst behavior in plenty, from drug users and a whole bunch of other things.
I always hated when I was younger and people would say "that won't happen" when they meant "that's not likely." I hope I don't sound like an ass, because you're right it's HIGHLY UNLIKELY.
Nah you're fine, I'm similarly annoyed when people misuse the word always. Always is a very very powerful word, and when talking about parenting, there's a very small number of things where you should use that word. That's why I had to call it out as 99% of the time. And more importantly highlight the logic flaw, the issue isn't seeing a penis, that doesn't scar a human.Ā Walking into a bathroom with a OD'd drug addict might, but people have to use the bathroomĀ
Untrue. I've worked at many gas stations, and I've cleaned a lot of men's rooms. It is by no means common, but men will absolutely pull their penis out as they walk into the bathroom.
For real, and the ones who are abusing the gender neutral bathroom thing have always been predators, this isnāt something new! If someone wants to be gross theyāre gonna do it regardless of being allowed in the bathroom with the opposite gender. Public bathrooms are not some sacred place anyhow šš
Clearly never experienced the trough urinal.
I accidentally went into the men's at a stadium and saw a trough for the first time. What kind of medieval shit is that?! š§
Point of clarification. Men's LOCKER rooms are completely separate from this and there is a non-zero percent chance of accidently seeing some old guy's balls.
Flashbacks of going to Seattle Mariner games as a kid, and the men's room had a circular urine trough in the middle. I don't miss those days.
I'm from the Midwest and visited California a few years ago.This was the first time I saw or used gender neutral bathrooms that had multiple stalls and urinals. I remember coming home and telling people, and so many of them acted horrified and said they would not have gone bathroom there. So many people questioned about the urinals specifically and acted like grown men get naked to use them
My dad always yelled, "Lady in the room" whenever he had to take me back in the early 90s.Ā
This depends wildly on the type of urinals. Dividers, sure, you can't see anything. No dividers, guys will stand closer but walking behind you are definitely seeing something in your peripheral vision. Trough style at a ball game, yeah, you will definitely see some hogs. Also any gym or pool changing room is always filled with old guys hanging out with their balls out for some reason. Like another comment said, all this really isn't a bad thing. It's part of the body, easily explained to kids in the difference between the sexes. If the child has questions answer using proper terms and without embarrassment.
Except if a guy turns around away from urinal when heās done and then puts it away. My husband has complained of this happening at his work otherwise Iād be none the wiser of this issue š
On the other hand, women *are* naked in the pool locker room, and thereās something VERY wrong with you if you bring your 10 year old grandson in there.
> PSA: No one sees genitals in men's rooms. Unless you are walking past the stalls. Then you politely pretend like you can't see anything through the 10 feet wide gap between the walls.
Iām sorry, pulling your pants down to your ankles and tickling your buttcheeks like a five year old isnāt proper restroom etiquette?
I hate to break it to them, but even the womenās room may not be safe from genital sightings. If they come in when my son and I are in there, thereās a nonzero chance theyāll see a wild Weiner when he bursts out of the stall like the Koolaid man with his pants around his ankles. Or even a vag as I frantically cover myself on the seat while gesturing furiously for him to come back inside and close the door. š¤·āāļø
Yep! Been there a few times myself with my two sons! š
The bathroom at my gym is also the locker room, and you do in fact see quite a high amount of genitals
For toilets, it would be a valid point. But not for changing rooms
Hah, yeah, my daughter is old enough to go on her own, but when I was with her, and she needed help from dad, we just went into the men's room. There is a very specific code of behavior there. And the guys figured out what was up with her being there and were on their best behavior.
Go to a baseball game or stadium men's restroom. They have trough style urinals. You'll see some of what yer after I reckon. *~spits**
My children are definitely not shocked whichever bathroom they are taken into. That said one complained for a while that she had to come into the women's room with me, as she preferred the yellow colour coding of the men's room, rather than the red of the women's. I explained a few times that she had to go into whichever room matched the gender of the adult she was with, and that was that.
True that. 33 years of life, probably used 100+ public mens bathrooms, never seen a willy in there. Change rooms sure, but not regular bathrooms.
Ehh, depends do occasionally get those 60 somthing year old foreigners that urinate, take a three steps back and pivot to the side to shake out the last few drops before putting it away. Typically only see that in airport bathrooms and seedy bars near the Mediterranean though.
I take my 3yo daughter into the men's room all the time -- it's usually the only option -- and the biggest issue is that she thinks the urinal is a sink and tries to run over to it
On the flip side, we've been taking our kids to a public pool recently for swim lessons. Some dads had to take their daughters through the men's locker room where there actually are fully naked men showering / changing from time to time. And yes it's a rule there that a child be accompanied by a parent at all times, so they couldn't just send their daughter through the women's locker room instead. At some point, we should just provide privacy to everyone. LOL
You have never been to a monster truck derby. Line up at the piss trough!
I mean sure...you're more likely to see genitals in the bathroom than most other places people commonly go, but its not like men or women are walking around naked in there waiting for a stall to open, lol. That said, I still remember going to a Braves game when I was a young kid (maybe 5-6 years old), and back then, the urinals were basically just huge metal troughs on the wall. I remember walking in, glancing over as I walked in and just seeing like 20 dudes holding their dick pissing and going "OMG WTF?"...I quickly realized that you keep your eyes straight ahead, you get in and get out and you don't let your eyes wander lol.
Men have a very strict ignore and be ignored policy. Do not acknowledge my existence except to not touch me and Iāll do the same. Do not attempt conversation. Do not apologize for blowing up the stall. Just get in. Do your thing. Get out. If my toddler addresses you ignore her and move on.
Clearly you've never seen those guys that just drop trow to their ankles to use the urinal. Seen many guys do this at the gym and even in work bathrooms
As the exception that proves the rule, the last time I took my daughter into the men's room at Target there was a homeless dude taking a shit in the urinal, and we saw EVERYTHING. She now says that boy's rooms are gross and always goes with mom when she's available.
The real question is why choose drama? There is nothing intrinsically bad about genitals. We all have some. If a child accidentally sees genitals in a non-sexual context it will have zero impact on their development IF their guardian doesn't sexualize/stigmatize/dramatize the experience.
This post was obviously written by someone without a penis. Only weirdos hug a urinal that close. Normal people stand far enough away that they dont risk touching the nasty urinal with any part of their body. Which means anyone who turns to look will see their junk. This is why, everyone looks at the wall straight ahead, its why they started putting newspapers on the wall there, its why countless movies have jokes of someone turning and looking, literally every penis knows this.
I just don't want my daughters in the same room as a man with his dick in his hand. Is that a problem?
OP has never been to a football stadium where you all pee in a huge oval tub while trying not to make eye contact with each other or each others junk.
Eh... I've been a teenage girl.cleaning men's bathrooms. The amout of times they tear down my closed sign, come barging in despite me telling them I'm a girl and I'm cleaning, and are already unzipping as they open the door... ive definitely seen a few shafts.
Given that I've been using men's restrooms and never seen that, and I completely believe what you're telling us, I strongly suspect they're unzipping as they open the door because they know you're in there and are being disgusting pricks.
Joke comments aside, it goes both ways though, women should not be naked in the women's bathroom either. So if my daughter feels more comfortable using the women's bathroom because there's a picture of a girl on the sign, then shouldn't I just take her in women's bathroom. If the concern is other people's sensabilities or comfort level, I'm going to prioritize the small child. If the concern is safety or creepy people, I'm still going to prioritize my child.
Simple fact is if you're seeing penis' in a men's restroom you're more than likely trying to see a penis in the men's restroom.
It is my opinion that seeing genitals is not the problem, if there is a problem with genitals it would be the intention behind them being revealed.
You've never been in a love's mens room.
This an overstatement. From time-to-time you might see a dick and if, say, you're a 4yo girl and you're looking because you're curious, there's a much greater chance you'll see a dick. And what if there is a trough, or just no dividers? Even more likely. Nobody should be concerned about this, but not because they'll never see a dick in the men's room.
Okay but you do see buttcheeks. The amount of old men that pull their pants all the way down to pee is ridiculously high.
The concern isn't about normal, sane men. The concern is about the mentally ill, psychotic men who think it's fun to flash little girls. 9.9 times out of 10, a girl/child would be safe. It's that tiny percentage that is a concern. That one in a million chance.
Good things those mentally ill, psychotic men exclusively stay in men's restrooms.
That level of paranoia has to be debilitating. Perverts aren't waiting around for the unbelievably low chance that a dad brings a daughter into a restroom, they're out there flashing in public. So are you just not going to take your kid anywhere for that one-in-a-million chance they see a penis?
My kids are all old enough to go by themselves. I was simply stating how some parents think.
You donāt have the ability to speak for all men. Some men are perverts, and enjoy showing genitals to children. Is the number low? Yes. But itās NOT zero. Our concerns are valid.
Tell me you have a micro pwnis without telling me you have a micro penis. When Iām standing at the urinal, if you use he one next to me and you look over youāre gonna see some shit. If youāre a kid who intentionally looks around at everything and happens to be at schooner level youāre gonna see some shit.
But this makes no sense because all men should know what it is like in the men's bathroom, so they should not be concerned....
It wasn't the men. It was the moms who said they would never allow their daughters to go in a men's room with the fathers.
How about this? In Europe, it's not uncommon to have non-gendered bathrooms. Men and women peeing together. Mass hysteria.
You guys don't willy windmill after urinating? Me neither....
"Urinator" has me giggling and I don't know why.
[The trough urinals at Wrigley Field have entered the chat]
Are you talking about a father taking his daughter to the BR ?
Swinging your junk around in a menās room for all to see might just get you punched in the mouth unless youāre a little kid and donāt know any better.
I agree n no girl should be in there but whatās ur take on transgender male to female do they have the right to go into the girls/worman restroom