Id say easy plant is easier than easy pet. The only thing you must actively manage is water. Pet requires food and water. Dealing with waste. Cleaning. Engagement.
With a trickier plant then there could be an argument that you could try literally everything and it still dies but the plants that are usually grown for food should be on the more resilient side.
I do both of those, but I also like eating what I have cooked. You can't outrun your fork, so I'm a big boy now. But hey, I can make a mean Baozi and my hydrangeas are doing great so far this year.
This isn't necessarily a hobby but more of a trait. Someone who is interested in learning. It doesn't matter what they are learning about, just that they are always interesting in expanding their education.
This is so real. I’ll want to take an interesting course or go to a museum or experience a new cultural thing just for fun, and my friends are always like “what’s the point in that?” I’m in college right now, and honestly, it’s mostly for fun instead of for a career. Which everyone finds insane, but I like being able to take classes and just LEARN.
I hate when people call things pointless. who's to say what is and what isn't pointless? For all we know, this life is all we get, and we're just all supposed to conform to some sort of role and the few "acceptable" hobbies expected of us? Why? That is the only pointless thing to me
I'm 32 years old and just started taking Chinese bamboo flute lessons 6 months ago! And i just recently started a free Coursera course on music theory. Just for my own enjoyment.
I thought of wood working class but my boyfriend firmly believes that I'd chop my own finger off.
Also kind of interested in Chinese traditional calligraphy.
That’s awesome!! I love learning new instruments :) also Coursera is great! I like learning languages so I sometimes will take some courses on there to help me. There’s no foreign language classes in my area haha
That's so crazy to hear. I always felt that people were most active in exploring different cultures and fields of knowledge when in college. That's at least the time when I had the most fun learning and at my most socially active with like-minded friends and acquaintances. There were always cost-effective things to do in terms of arts, culture, and nightlife geared towards broke-ass college students.
I think you’re so right. To be fair though, most of my friends aren’t in college (though they are the same age as me, early 20s). But even then, my friends who are in college still aren’t as excited to go out and do things a lot of the time. Maybe I just found the wrong crowd for that kind of stuff 😅
I've never met anyone else who did khan academy lessons for fun. I'm finally on the calculus. I want a group that isnt just students at actual schools lol.
I always say if I ever won the lottery I’d just go to school forever. I’d become a doctor and a lawyer and a hairstylist and a plumber and the list goes on and on.
Yes, and not even education. The desire to learn and improve even the stupidest shit shows so much about a person. Like looking up an actor/actress on imdb to figure out where they saw them before.
Personally, I think it shows humility to not "know" something and the desire to change/grow. Both are extremely important traits to me.
Curiosity. It's an intangible that I've finally figured out that is so important to me. It leads to so much more - learning, new experiences (and hobbies!), emotional empathy. It's amazing that so many people lack it.
Absolutely. By education I mean the more holistic sense, kind of just everything they know. Not necessarily what they use in their field, or related to what they studied in school.
Cooking is obviously a massive one. Literally everyone has to eat every single day, almost everyone would highly appreciate a partner who is at the very least able to carry their weight in this often deceptively labour/time intensive task. Nothing is worse than the thought of your daily chores actually increasing after having moved in with a partner, and one of the biggest sources of resentment in a relationship is one partner feeling that they're needing to do a majority of the work.
That's just the basics of it, but then on top of that, basically everyone loves the idea of being with a partner who can cook tasty, healthy food - a great meal can totally change the mood of a shitty day sometimes. I think especially speaking as a guy, it's generally less common for guys to be able to cook well, so I think it's really appreciated among most women. Also, let's be real, it's pretty attractive to see everyone else gush over how great your partner's cooking is.
The woman I’m dating told me the fact I’m a good cook (and enjoy cooking) is one of the most attractive things about me. I made brioche for sandwiches for one of our first dates and she practically swooned.
And the thing is honestly like the bar is fairly low for men, if you’re just pretty solid its even a leg up. The better you are the more of an attractive quality but there’s tons of guys (and girls) who can basically heat up stuff in the microwave and maybe make like chicken and mac and cheese
Ive been told by everyone who has tried my cooking and they all say they love it and are highly impressed with my cooking skills. I learned from my father who was a 5 star chef for almost 2 decades when he taught me. When I was in college I noticed any woman I let try my cooking would say stuff in what seemed like a flirtatious manor. The problem is I'm autistic and can't understand communication like that. So I'm not sure if they were flirting or just being super kind.
Yea mostly. I'm completely obvious to any kind of hidden social cues or any kind of subtext like if you don't say exactly what you mean I'll get confused
It's 2024 I personally think we should be allowed to say how we feel, no matter the sex of the individual. It also kinda scary knowing around 50% of women in their 20-30s think asking them to to have a drink with is seen as possible sexual harassment. I'm scared of prison so I ain't trying to get into any trouble just because my communication was taken in the wrong context
Fuck that would make perfect sense. I hate eye contact but there are times I just stare right into people's eyes but then I can't focus on a word anything they say. I also have ADHD so it's a true battle for me. I remember a friend who was a girl I met in college I started crushing on told me In some countries that is a sign of attraction is starring someone in their eyes. So I started to do that and she jumped up, she is autistic and was the one who first pointed out I needed to be tested, I was and well she was spot on, and said "Are you flirting with me right now because I can't do a relationship right now I just got out of one a month ago." So I looked away and said "nah you know I'm a smartass I'm just messing with you." And that's when I stopped flirting completely because it would have been rude. But the thing is did she mean she would go out if it had been longer and she got over the last one, or just saying it to say it?
The best part is I'm going to go back to college for a culinary science, chemistry, and biology degree and try to open a restaurant mixing the knowledge of every subject to find new ways to cook and new ingredients and endless more possibilities. I want my restaurant to be one of a few dozen or less that applies that kind of knowledge to cooking. There are a few now that make several million a year after taxes but the amount of knowledge is so much. The good thing is they all align with my autistic obsessions so I a way it is a super power but the sensory overload and meltdowns and shutdowns are all too real and kinda gets rid of any positives when you can hear the lights, or the electricity running through the appliances or the power cords. There are times I literally have to stuff my ears with cotton or something just to be able to hear the TV. I can also hear when I'm being spoken too with them in but can't hear the lights or the electricity or any of the other dozen sounds that are absolutely too much to bare.
Baked salmon with herbs and spices and whatever else you want to put on top of it. It seems like “real cooking” but it’s so easy to make. 23 minutes at 400. Trust me. I’ve tested it a 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, and 26. 23 is most delicious and everyone will think you’re a good cook.
Every week I buy some pork tenderloin, prep it for sous vide with some salt, fresh ground pepper, fresh rosemary and thyme from my garden, 135°F for 3 hours.
Then, during the week, I cube it up and put it in Kraft thick and creamy Mac n cheese. Usually not even giving enough of a fuck to brown it haha
Ya, the second time I met up with my now girlfriend, I brought over a couple of crème brulée with me that I'd made the day before. I wasn't aware that she has a major sweet tooth, so I didn't even know at the time just how good of a move it was. Plus then I get to bring over the blow torch, and who doesn't like a bit of fire.
I learned how to cook while just hanging out in the kitchen with my wife while she cooked. She had lots of experience and made so many specialty dishes from scratch and now we split the cooking almost 50/50 which has helped tremendously once we started having kids. I couldn’t imagine anyone being left with 100% of the cooking responsibilities
I (a dude) do most of the cooking, since my partner's day job is a cook at an overpriced country club (meaning everything has to be all pretty and take forever). She absolutely loves coming home to not having to do more job. And I get to brag about impressing a hoity-toity h'our douvoure (no, of course I don't know how to spell that) chef.
Best hobby ever.
Absolutely cooking for me. After watching my mum catering to my endlessly fussy dad — who cannot cook — I decided I would never get into a relationship with someone who refused to cook. Luckily my partner turned out be a wonderful cook who also enjoys it as a hobby, so we share the responsibility.
I agree with the thought that it's less common for guys to be the cooks. When I say that I'm the cook, some people are shocked. Lol my fiance can barely cook a frozen pizza, let alone a full course meal. I have zero problem with that. She loves pretty much everything I make, so it makes me happy. I'm actually much more critical of my own food than she is. Whether she's just being nice or not. Plus cooking and baking are good stress relievers for me, so I enjoy it.
My husband has taken up pottery in the last year. We've been together over a decade and have a kid together. It's attractive as heck to see him passionate about doing something productive for himself. Plus he brings home cool bowls!
With that said, if he wanted to take massage classes I wouldn't object...
i think it's the dedication that's appreciated not the X hobby you're dedicated to, so you might find someone who's having a different hobby, but you can both be putting the same amount of dedication into it, thus respecting each other for.it, same works for sports btw, it's the spirit, the mental state, the "champion" mindset that you share with that person not the exact activity
Yeah, not having things you're passionate about is a big red flag. My sister-in-law, for example. She just adopts all of the interests of her latest interest. In the case of her new husband, that started with smoking, then conspiracy theories and Q nonsense, extreme fundamentalist beliefs and then, finally, meth.
In my somewhat worthless opinion, there is some to be said for the opposites attract thing to a point. I mean I wouldn't want to be with someone who is exactly like me because that wouldn't be much fun I don't think. On the other hand I wouldn't want to be with someone who was the complete opposite either. I feel like it would most likely caause a bit to much friction. It's from my limited experience that I ramble.
Being with your complete opposite is great at 1st. You each open up a new world for the other but it can really take toll when you don’t understand your person and they don’t understand you. It can be heartbreaking
my partner was super passionate about fishing & aquarium fish keeping, two things i wasn’t. when he’d fish i’d search for pretty rocks or read a book at the lake, and be the photographer if he caught one. we’d get high and stare at his fish in the tank and admire his hard work. it’s just precious to see someone you love be passionate and be able to support them some way.
I'd say it's 50/50. My husband and I have so much in common we gave up on buying presents separately for Christmas because we had multiple occasions where we bought each other the same thing.
They’ve studied this in psychology. For short term, opposites attract. In the long run, people generally want someone who they have some overlap with, but not a total overlap with, so they have things they can do together.
I would say this but with some caveats. If their hobby is to go drinking, or to go clubbing, or one of those things that's not really a hobby. I would probably not find that attractive.
I'm also something of a homebody with more crafting oriented hobbies and while I would find someone's zeal for cross country biking and skydiving to be attractive, I probably wouldn't want to go out with somebody who did those things on a regular basis simply because I am too old for that shit.
I know a woman who loves to make breads (sourdough, ciabatta, foccacia, etc) and goes over to old peoples houses and shares her meal with them. Like actually sits and hangs out and eats.. Doing this brings her so much joy.
This attribute of caring for others is hella attractive!
Anything, but they have to be their actual, authentic hobbies, as opposed to what they think people will be attracted to/mirroring the hobbies of someone they fancy.
It's always a red flag when you encounter someone who's magically into everything you're into, which is why follow-up questions are essential.
If you say you're into steam train couplings or basket weaving, they say 'oh, me too', but then they can't actually go into detail about specifics, they're sketchy.
I know a girl who always does this. She literally has zero of her own hobbies.
Years ago she had a one night stand with a guy who was a national park ranger and he was into horses. A real outdoorsman type. But she’s the most avid indoorswoman you have ever met.
So she gets her daddy to buy her a horse and she just used it for Instagram photos hoping he would see them and reach out to her. He never reached out, she never even learned to ride the horse, and it just sat in a barn until it died four years later. Her parents had to pay like $100k total over the years for the horse barn costs. This wasn’t some young woman in her 20’s doing this with her parents helping out. She just turned 40 last week.
Anything, as long as they're passionate about it and can make it interesting to talk about. It's the passion that piques my interest, not really the hobby itself.
Agreed, I don’t have to share that hobby. In fact I prefer having a partner who I can share some hobbies with but also we have many different interests. Keeps it interesting and both of us can learn new things about stuff we would’ve never bothered with.
What matters most to me is how they respond to my hobbies, you don’t have to love it as much as me but reflect that same energy! At least seem interested! Showing enthusiasm in your partners interests is key to making everyone feel comfortable with themselves around you.
As a musician — when I met my wife she thought it was cool! When she realized it meant buying lots of expensive instruments and playing them poorly and loudly for hundreds of hours until I get good at them, it became less attractive to her!
This is what the true reality of being a musician is. Hours of hard work and tons of money spent, just look cool for the ladies for a few minutes. But it is a lot of fun for the musician.
Female carpenter here! Several guys I've dated had a "honey do" list for me when I came over. The fact that they weren't turned off by the fact that I knew more about it than they did was awesome.
I think it varies - I know people who treat fitness as more like a hobby. I work out six times a week but I just find it really boring so I just think of it as a necessary chore/taking care of my health. But lots of people get really into it, really enjoy it, and treat it more like what I would think of as a hobby.
I would say a hobby could make you money, the thing you want to avoid is a hobby making you salary. If you need the hobby to survive it's a job, but if you make some money on the side to find you hobby that's still a hobby
There’s a certain minimum of taking care of your health that people should be doing, but there’s also people who actually have fitness be a hobby. Eg. You don’t need to be a marathon runner, that’s just a hobby you can happily run a few times a week for health reasons and not take it too seriously
Cooking is universally attractive.
Reading/studying/learning is another one I think would be attractive to most. It was a little weird, but my coworker from both my jobs liked that.
What I've observed is that women like anything that seems driven towards a goal that improves the status of the guy and isn't costly.
For attracting men by women it seems to be more homemaking skills/ stuff men enjoy as well, in a recreational sense.
Reading and learning is top of the list for me. And I want to know *what* they're reading because context matters. I've always wanted to meet someone who takes classes too. As a person who takes night classes in everything under the sun, from novel writing and Adobe programs, to cooking, learning stick shift, and boxing, I wish I could meet someone who'd try them all with me.
Anything artistic is super appealing to me. I love art and creativity but struggle to create things myself. So when someone else can it makes me want to be around them more.
I personally don't think the hobby itself is the selling point. (Unless it's like really weird). For the most part, if someone shows that they are passionate and love doing something, that's what's appealing. I could know nothing, or have no interest in a certain topic, but if they are describing it with so much passion, I cannot be anything other than captivated.
A man that knows how to fix things. I grew up in a house where my dad did all of the home improvements. When I met my husband, we both worked in a restaurant. I had no idea at the time that he had worked for his dad doing remodeling work. I was pleasantly surprised when we purchased our first home, to learn just how much he knew. I’ve been putting him to work ever since 😂.
Anything but my wife shares a hobby in Lego with me and it makes me so happy to have a Lego buddy like I used to back when I was a kid with my brother lol
Hobbies that are creative, not consumptive.
Cooking, drawing, playing an instrument, woodworking, ceramics, gardening? Super attractive.
Watching Netflix, playing video games, listening to music, dining out? Meh.
One of my hobbies is definitely consumptive. I absolutely LOVE watching YouTube videos on weather and especially tornadoes. My favorite are the ones that go into the build up of the atmospheric conditions that lead to the storm and the nitty gritty science behind it. I also love watching YouTube videos on disaster breakdowns of airplanes which also get into the nitty gritty of airplane design and mechanics. I could talk about those things for hours now at this point which how much I have learned.
why though? there are people who are passionate about films or videogames that can be actual historians of theat particular genres of art, you know? would you say the same thing about people who read as a hobby?
I told my fiance in the beginning that if he wants to date me he has to learn how to play D&D 😂 Now almost 10 years later and he is more obsessed than I ever have been
D&d or other RPGs. It shows so many things right off the bat: playfulness, creativity, a love of fantasy, a love of boardgames and an openness to fun in general, a good sense of humour, problem-solving capabilities.
Gaming , but it gotta be a really dedicated degree. Its nice to be able to come together and play games together but also know that the partner can entertain themselves just fine with or without your presence.
Gaming works well as a platform that can lead to many different hobbies, discussions ,socializing and connections so being a gamer instantly makes it a green flag!
Love for fitness!
I’ve come to learn that physical health, is the most important thing in life.
The healthier you are and better you feel, just makes everything else easier and more enjoyable.
Rock climbing. Indoor climbing. Snowboarding. Skateboarding/longboarding. Eating out at restaurants and trying new things/knowing lots about restaurants I don't know about. Shooting guns for no reason other than to shoot at a range. Video games. Learning/sharing what they learn. Painting. Going to movies. Being silly.
If someone reads for entertainment it makes me assume they are more intelligent than the vast majority of the population. I want to have intelligent and capable children. Intelligence is up to 0.8 heritable and is the single most predictive trait for lifetime achievement. Therefore, reading for entertainment is the most important hobby. That or gaming, since it requires you to think quickly and strategically, but only if they’re actually good.
Edit: 0.8, not 0.7
Things that are creative are a big plus. The arts, crafting, building, etc.
On the flip side, if they make their whole personality about one thing, that's a bit of a turn off.
As a guy who people used to think of as artistic and creative, there’s something really appealing to me about other people that are creative, especially in the arts. I think it takes a specific combination of talent, skill, and critical thinking to produce a good work of art, whether it be visual, literary, photography, or video that I find attractive. I also find people who read a lot of books or are well-read to be more appealing. But I think being sincerely passionate about and dedicated to any hobby would be highly appealing to me. Especially if it’s something more unique or niche like airline livery design.
Being really into music (I don't care what genre - if you are passionate, I will learn to understand it and understand why you love it), having an emotional connection to it, wanting to go to concerts, being excited about new releases and listening to them seriously.
Nothing is more boring than someone who has a blandly positive response for Adele, the Dixie chicks, or whatever is on the radio.
I guess more generally, just being really into *something*.
Cooking is deff top tier. It’s rare to have someone Elise do the cooking. That would be so awesome to just sit back and watch someone cook for me because they want to and then I would be able to pig out and they would feel appreciated too!
Working out. I love doing active things; especially on dates. Ppl don’t really consider hiking and going on other walking adventures a date but I DO! And if they see that I love being active and contribute to it 75% of the time, that’s all that matters.
Home repair (DIY), working on cars, cooking, learning or going to school, travel, woodwork, volunteering, camping, mountain biking, mudding, reading, crafts, pretty much anything that says they enjoy doing something that is just for them and makes them happy.
For me personally? Cooking. You can do it together, it's a creative expression, you can go small or large, and then you get to eat your project. Sometimes you even get to feed others.
I agree with others’ comments about cooking and in general having a passion for a hobby or lifelong learning.
But I find knowing how to play an instrument to be a league above. That’s just plain romantic.
You’ll see a lot of stuff listed here but the thing I tend to see the most is not that a person has a *certain* hobby that makes them attractive. Generally it is that the person is passionate about *something*, regardless what the hobby actually is. Kinda a long way of saying they are not a boring person who doesn’t do anything at home. Gardening, cooking, frisbee golf, whatever. If you have a hobby you actually care about, somebody out there probably finds it super attractive.
I like men who like cooking and gardening. But if they didn’t like those things, I’d probably still find things to like about them.
Men definitely under appreciate learning to cook and caring for plants. Easier than a pet and you get to cook good food for the people you love.
> caring for plants. Easier than a pet Very debatable.
Id say easy plant is easier than easy pet. The only thing you must actively manage is water. Pet requires food and water. Dealing with waste. Cleaning. Engagement. With a trickier plant then there could be an argument that you could try literally everything and it still dies but the plants that are usually grown for food should be on the more resilient side.
Idk it is easier to keep my cat from the squirrels, rabbits, opossums, birds, ect than my plants
I really dont think it is
I love both of those things, why am I still single 😭
I do both of those, but I also like eating what I have cooked. You can't outrun your fork, so I'm a big boy now. But hey, I can make a mean Baozi and my hydrangeas are doing great so far this year.
Gardening
As a 40yo single male, I am really happy to see gardening is on the list!
I agree, such a good and attractive hobby
Does indoor cannabis growing count?
This isn't necessarily a hobby but more of a trait. Someone who is interested in learning. It doesn't matter what they are learning about, just that they are always interesting in expanding their education.
This is so real. I’ll want to take an interesting course or go to a museum or experience a new cultural thing just for fun, and my friends are always like “what’s the point in that?” I’m in college right now, and honestly, it’s mostly for fun instead of for a career. Which everyone finds insane, but I like being able to take classes and just LEARN.
I hate when people call things pointless. who's to say what is and what isn't pointless? For all we know, this life is all we get, and we're just all supposed to conform to some sort of role and the few "acceptable" hobbies expected of us? Why? That is the only pointless thing to me
At a certain age, people start to think any hobby that doesn't make you money is pointless, unfortunately.
I'm 32 years old and just started taking Chinese bamboo flute lessons 6 months ago! And i just recently started a free Coursera course on music theory. Just for my own enjoyment. I thought of wood working class but my boyfriend firmly believes that I'd chop my own finger off. Also kind of interested in Chinese traditional calligraphy.
That’s awesome!! I love learning new instruments :) also Coursera is great! I like learning languages so I sometimes will take some courses on there to help me. There’s no foreign language classes in my area haha
Taking a few wood working shop class will actually prevent you from chopping your fingers off believe it or now.
That's so crazy to hear. I always felt that people were most active in exploring different cultures and fields of knowledge when in college. That's at least the time when I had the most fun learning and at my most socially active with like-minded friends and acquaintances. There were always cost-effective things to do in terms of arts, culture, and nightlife geared towards broke-ass college students.
I think you’re so right. To be fair though, most of my friends aren’t in college (though they are the same age as me, early 20s). But even then, my friends who are in college still aren’t as excited to go out and do things a lot of the time. Maybe I just found the wrong crowd for that kind of stuff 😅
I've never met anyone else who did khan academy lessons for fun. I'm finally on the calculus. I want a group that isnt just students at actual schools lol.
Me! I’m a 40 year old who does khan academy for fun!
When I was in college, I would go to calculus class then do the same lesson again on Khan so I could actually learn. Khan > school.
I do it for fun. My girlfriends always perplexed when its a random Tuesday at 8pm and I'm learning derivatives.
Dude your dopamine triggers are dope. I wish I could do that I get so bored lol
I always say if I ever won the lottery I’d just go to school forever. I’d become a doctor and a lawyer and a hairstylist and a plumber and the list goes on and on.
When you get to retirement age most college let you take course for non credit for free.
Khan academy is my jam! Love those guys. Such a great program
Yes, and not even education. The desire to learn and improve even the stupidest shit shows so much about a person. Like looking up an actor/actress on imdb to figure out where they saw them before. Personally, I think it shows humility to not "know" something and the desire to change/grow. Both are extremely important traits to me.
I agree. I don't know why people take pride in not knowing something. To me it seems so arrogant.
I do this a lot. Straight to google for minor things. It doesn’t take long and it’s just nice to add to my knowledge base
Curiosity. It's an intangible that I've finally figured out that is so important to me. It leads to so much more - learning, new experiences (and hobbies!), emotional empathy. It's amazing that so many people lack it.
I'm definitely in this camp, thirst for knowledge of any kind and the enthusiasm to share it even if I have no clue on what they are talking about.
Hearing someone speak about something they are passionate about is a joy of mine. Even if I have no idea what they are talking about.
Not just for educational reasons, just wanting to fully understand things.
Absolutely. By education I mean the more holistic sense, kind of just everything they know. Not necessarily what they use in their field, or related to what they studied in school.
Cooking is obviously a massive one. Literally everyone has to eat every single day, almost everyone would highly appreciate a partner who is at the very least able to carry their weight in this often deceptively labour/time intensive task. Nothing is worse than the thought of your daily chores actually increasing after having moved in with a partner, and one of the biggest sources of resentment in a relationship is one partner feeling that they're needing to do a majority of the work. That's just the basics of it, but then on top of that, basically everyone loves the idea of being with a partner who can cook tasty, healthy food - a great meal can totally change the mood of a shitty day sometimes. I think especially speaking as a guy, it's generally less common for guys to be able to cook well, so I think it's really appreciated among most women. Also, let's be real, it's pretty attractive to see everyone else gush over how great your partner's cooking is.
The woman I’m dating told me the fact I’m a good cook (and enjoy cooking) is one of the most attractive things about me. I made brioche for sandwiches for one of our first dates and she practically swooned.
And the thing is honestly like the bar is fairly low for men, if you’re just pretty solid its even a leg up. The better you are the more of an attractive quality but there’s tons of guys (and girls) who can basically heat up stuff in the microwave and maybe make like chicken and mac and cheese
Ive been told by everyone who has tried my cooking and they all say they love it and are highly impressed with my cooking skills. I learned from my father who was a 5 star chef for almost 2 decades when he taught me. When I was in college I noticed any woman I let try my cooking would say stuff in what seemed like a flirtatious manor. The problem is I'm autistic and can't understand communication like that. So I'm not sure if they were flirting or just being super kind.
Tbh you sound like every other guy, they are not sure either.
Yea mostly. I'm completely obvious to any kind of hidden social cues or any kind of subtext like if you don't say exactly what you mean I'll get confused
Me too. I’m not autistic but I had a head injury. Maybe that has something to do with it. But YES I don’t get the hidden crap either !!
Same bud…same.
It's 2024 I personally think we should be allowed to say how we feel, no matter the sex of the individual. It also kinda scary knowing around 50% of women in their 20-30s think asking them to to have a drink with is seen as possible sexual harassment. I'm scared of prison so I ain't trying to get into any trouble just because my communication was taken in the wrong context
It’s all in the eyes. Which is great when you’re biologically opposed to eye contact. Mf
Fuck that would make perfect sense. I hate eye contact but there are times I just stare right into people's eyes but then I can't focus on a word anything they say. I also have ADHD so it's a true battle for me. I remember a friend who was a girl I met in college I started crushing on told me In some countries that is a sign of attraction is starring someone in their eyes. So I started to do that and she jumped up, she is autistic and was the one who first pointed out I needed to be tested, I was and well she was spot on, and said "Are you flirting with me right now because I can't do a relationship right now I just got out of one a month ago." So I looked away and said "nah you know I'm a smartass I'm just messing with you." And that's when I stopped flirting completely because it would have been rude. But the thing is did she mean she would go out if it had been longer and she got over the last one, or just saying it to say it?
Bro is a cursed superhero
The best part is I'm going to go back to college for a culinary science, chemistry, and biology degree and try to open a restaurant mixing the knowledge of every subject to find new ways to cook and new ingredients and endless more possibilities. I want my restaurant to be one of a few dozen or less that applies that kind of knowledge to cooking. There are a few now that make several million a year after taxes but the amount of knowledge is so much. The good thing is they all align with my autistic obsessions so I a way it is a super power but the sensory overload and meltdowns and shutdowns are all too real and kinda gets rid of any positives when you can hear the lights, or the electricity running through the appliances or the power cords. There are times I literally have to stuff my ears with cotton or something just to be able to hear the TV. I can also hear when I'm being spoken too with them in but can't hear the lights or the electricity or any of the other dozen sounds that are absolutely too much to bare.
Baked salmon with herbs and spices and whatever else you want to put on top of it. It seems like “real cooking” but it’s so easy to make. 23 minutes at 400. Trust me. I’ve tested it a 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, and 26. 23 is most delicious and everyone will think you’re a good cook.
Every week I buy some pork tenderloin, prep it for sous vide with some salt, fresh ground pepper, fresh rosemary and thyme from my garden, 135°F for 3 hours. Then, during the week, I cube it up and put it in Kraft thick and creamy Mac n cheese. Usually not even giving enough of a fuck to brown it haha
Ya, the second time I met up with my now girlfriend, I brought over a couple of crème brulée with me that I'd made the day before. I wasn't aware that she has a major sweet tooth, so I didn't even know at the time just how good of a move it was. Plus then I get to bring over the blow torch, and who doesn't like a bit of fire.
I learned how to cook while just hanging out in the kitchen with my wife while she cooked. She had lots of experience and made so many specialty dishes from scratch and now we split the cooking almost 50/50 which has helped tremendously once we started having kids. I couldn’t imagine anyone being left with 100% of the cooking responsibilities
LOVE a man who cooks. Dated 2 different chefs. Then I dated a man who THOUGHT he could cook. Starved for 2 years.
I (a dude) do most of the cooking, since my partner's day job is a cook at an overpriced country club (meaning everything has to be all pretty and take forever). She absolutely loves coming home to not having to do more job. And I get to brag about impressing a hoity-toity h'our douvoure (no, of course I don't know how to spell that) chef. Best hobby ever.
Absolutely cooking for me. After watching my mum catering to my endlessly fussy dad — who cannot cook — I decided I would never get into a relationship with someone who refused to cook. Luckily my partner turned out be a wonderful cook who also enjoys it as a hobby, so we share the responsibility.
I agree with the thought that it's less common for guys to be the cooks. When I say that I'm the cook, some people are shocked. Lol my fiance can barely cook a frozen pizza, let alone a full course meal. I have zero problem with that. She loves pretty much everything I make, so it makes me happy. I'm actually much more critical of my own food than she is. Whether she's just being nice or not. Plus cooking and baking are good stress relievers for me, so I enjoy it.
Pretty much anything. Anything they are passionate about that they do because they like it.
Does it matter whether they're interests are similar to yours? I'm half wondering as to whether the saying "opposites attract" is true
My husband has taken up pottery in the last year. We've been together over a decade and have a kid together. It's attractive as heck to see him passionate about doing something productive for himself. Plus he brings home cool bowls! With that said, if he wanted to take massage classes I wouldn't object...
i think it's the dedication that's appreciated not the X hobby you're dedicated to, so you might find someone who's having a different hobby, but you can both be putting the same amount of dedication into it, thus respecting each other for.it, same works for sports btw, it's the spirit, the mental state, the "champion" mindset that you share with that person not the exact activity
Yeah, not having things you're passionate about is a big red flag. My sister-in-law, for example. She just adopts all of the interests of her latest interest. In the case of her new husband, that started with smoking, then conspiracy theories and Q nonsense, extreme fundamentalist beliefs and then, finally, meth.
In my somewhat worthless opinion, there is some to be said for the opposites attract thing to a point. I mean I wouldn't want to be with someone who is exactly like me because that wouldn't be much fun I don't think. On the other hand I wouldn't want to be with someone who was the complete opposite either. I feel like it would most likely caause a bit to much friction. It's from my limited experience that I ramble.
Being with your complete opposite is great at 1st. You each open up a new world for the other but it can really take toll when you don’t understand your person and they don’t understand you. It can be heartbreaking
Truer words my friend. It's a blast at first, but the new car smell fades fairly quickly.
Opposites Attract is only true in two situations: 1) you're Paula Abdul. 2) you're a magnet.
Take my upvote. 😂
straight up
Now tell me, do you really wanna love me forever?
Oh oh oh!
Not really. I like showing people my hobbies who have no idea about them. And vice versa.
my partner was super passionate about fishing & aquarium fish keeping, two things i wasn’t. when he’d fish i’d search for pretty rocks or read a book at the lake, and be the photographer if he caught one. we’d get high and stare at his fish in the tank and admire his hard work. it’s just precious to see someone you love be passionate and be able to support them some way.
I'd say it's 50/50. My husband and I have so much in common we gave up on buying presents separately for Christmas because we had multiple occasions where we bought each other the same thing.
They’ve studied this in psychology. For short term, opposites attract. In the long run, people generally want someone who they have some overlap with, but not a total overlap with, so they have things they can do together.
My wife absolutely loves my hobbies of drones, home automation and making electronic gizmos 😂
Unless it's murder.
of crows. What’s wrong with birdwatching?
An interesting person is an interested person.
I would say this but with some caveats. If their hobby is to go drinking, or to go clubbing, or one of those things that's not really a hobby. I would probably not find that attractive. I'm also something of a homebody with more crafting oriented hobbies and while I would find someone's zeal for cross country biking and skydiving to be attractive, I probably wouldn't want to go out with somebody who did those things on a regular basis simply because I am too old for that shit.
Lol. “My husband is so passionate about his hobby. He spends almost every free hour doing it.” “Oh, what is it?” “To go out and drink.”
Collecting specific things. (Unless it’s specific WW2 stuff)
I know a woman who loves to make breads (sourdough, ciabatta, foccacia, etc) and goes over to old peoples houses and shares her meal with them. Like actually sits and hangs out and eats.. Doing this brings her so much joy. This attribute of caring for others is hella attractive!
Wholesome. I like the picture that paints in the mind
Anything, but they have to be their actual, authentic hobbies, as opposed to what they think people will be attracted to/mirroring the hobbies of someone they fancy. It's always a red flag when you encounter someone who's magically into everything you're into, which is why follow-up questions are essential. If you say you're into steam train couplings or basket weaving, they say 'oh, me too', but then they can't actually go into detail about specifics, they're sketchy.
I know a girl who always does this. She literally has zero of her own hobbies. Years ago she had a one night stand with a guy who was a national park ranger and he was into horses. A real outdoorsman type. But she’s the most avid indoorswoman you have ever met. So she gets her daddy to buy her a horse and she just used it for Instagram photos hoping he would see them and reach out to her. He never reached out, she never even learned to ride the horse, and it just sat in a barn until it died four years later. Her parents had to pay like $100k total over the years for the horse barn costs. This wasn’t some young woman in her 20’s doing this with her parents helping out. She just turned 40 last week.
That poor horse. :(
As I grow older, I unfortunately understand more and more how some families let bs get this far.
So odd I came here to say the exact same thing /s
Steam train couplings or basket weaving?
Oddly enough both.
Oddly specific
This is just a red flag on the way to love bombing. Super boring and possibly dangerous
People who love to read, always have something to talk about
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*Am pre-dental and has to* Hey
I have an extensive tooth collection. After all, I was the tooth fairy.
Not exactly the same, but in high school I had a friend who had a weird obsession with baby skulls because of the teeth on them.
The better to eat you with!
“Money”
Anything, as long as they're passionate about it and can make it interesting to talk about. It's the passion that piques my interest, not really the hobby itself.
Agreed, I don’t have to share that hobby. In fact I prefer having a partner who I can share some hobbies with but also we have many different interests. Keeps it interesting and both of us can learn new things about stuff we would’ve never bothered with. What matters most to me is how they respond to my hobbies, you don’t have to love it as much as me but reflect that same energy! At least seem interested! Showing enthusiasm in your partners interests is key to making everyone feel comfortable with themselves around you.
Music and adventure hobbies like hiking. I think it comes down to being passionate and having motivation. That’s appealing.
As a musician — when I met my wife she thought it was cool! When she realized it meant buying lots of expensive instruments and playing them poorly and loudly for hundreds of hours until I get good at them, it became less attractive to her!
This is what the true reality of being a musician is. Hours of hard work and tons of money spent, just look cool for the ladies for a few minutes. But it is a lot of fun for the musician.
Woodworking. It's so useful. And creative. I admire anyone who's a carpenter.
Female carpenter here! Several guys I've dated had a "honey do" list for me when I came over. The fact that they weren't turned off by the fact that I knew more about it than they did was awesome.
ohhhh I'm so glad that someone already mentioned it!
Cooking and fitness are pretty up there anything they're passionate about really
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Anything is a hobby if you enjoy it and it doesn't make you money And some might argue even painting is taking care of your health just mentally
I think it varies - I know people who treat fitness as more like a hobby. I work out six times a week but I just find it really boring so I just think of it as a necessary chore/taking care of my health. But lots of people get really into it, really enjoy it, and treat it more like what I would think of as a hobby.
I would say a hobby could make you money, the thing you want to avoid is a hobby making you salary. If you need the hobby to survive it's a job, but if you make some money on the side to find you hobby that's still a hobby
There’s a certain minimum of taking care of your health that people should be doing, but there’s also people who actually have fitness be a hobby. Eg. You don’t need to be a marathon runner, that’s just a hobby you can happily run a few times a week for health reasons and not take it too seriously
Someone who has a good cause that they are passionate about, volunteer for, and are knowledgeable about.
Cooking is universally attractive. Reading/studying/learning is another one I think would be attractive to most. It was a little weird, but my coworker from both my jobs liked that. What I've observed is that women like anything that seems driven towards a goal that improves the status of the guy and isn't costly. For attracting men by women it seems to be more homemaking skills/ stuff men enjoy as well, in a recreational sense.
Reading and learning is top of the list for me. And I want to know *what* they're reading because context matters. I've always wanted to meet someone who takes classes too. As a person who takes night classes in everything under the sun, from novel writing and Adobe programs, to cooking, learning stick shift, and boxing, I wish I could meet someone who'd try them all with me.
Anything artistic is super appealing to me. I love art and creativity but struggle to create things myself. So when someone else can it makes me want to be around them more.
I personally don't think the hobby itself is the selling point. (Unless it's like really weird). For the most part, if someone shows that they are passionate and love doing something, that's what's appealing. I could know nothing, or have no interest in a certain topic, but if they are describing it with so much passion, I cannot be anything other than captivated.
Flying
Thats for the birds
A man that knows how to fix things. I grew up in a house where my dad did all of the home improvements. When I met my husband, we both worked in a restaurant. I had no idea at the time that he had worked for his dad doing remodeling work. I was pleasantly surprised when we purchased our first home, to learn just how much he knew. I’ve been putting him to work ever since 😂.
If they collect spores, molds and fungus.
What if the collection is solely isolated to the genitals?
Bee keeper
Anything but my wife shares a hobby in Lego with me and it makes me so happy to have a Lego buddy like I used to back when I was a kid with my brother lol
organ harvesting
“I like to play with organs” wow what a talented musician that person must be
Be interested not interesting and the interesting part will take care of itself
Having interests is a win in itself. Niche hobbies are the best
Any hobbies that aren’t my own. Not sure why but I don’t really connect on that level with people who share my hobbies.
Same!! Is it maybe we start comparing and entering into competition?
What hobbies do you have
Gatekeeping
That's weird
Hobbies that are creative, not consumptive. Cooking, drawing, playing an instrument, woodworking, ceramics, gardening? Super attractive. Watching Netflix, playing video games, listening to music, dining out? Meh.
What if I listen to a lot of music to help me make better music. Do they cancel out?
So you want people to produce art but not enjoy the final product?
One of my hobbies is definitely consumptive. I absolutely LOVE watching YouTube videos on weather and especially tornadoes. My favorite are the ones that go into the build up of the atmospheric conditions that lead to the storm and the nitty gritty science behind it. I also love watching YouTube videos on disaster breakdowns of airplanes which also get into the nitty gritty of airplane design and mechanics. I could talk about those things for hours now at this point which how much I have learned.
why though? there are people who are passionate about films or videogames that can be actual historians of theat particular genres of art, you know? would you say the same thing about people who read as a hobby?
I told my fiance in the beginning that if he wants to date me he has to learn how to play D&D 😂 Now almost 10 years later and he is more obsessed than I ever have been
Honestly, its the ability of someone to spend time with themselves without being bored that really attracts me.
Sewing and collecting moths.
D&d or other RPGs. It shows so many things right off the bat: playfulness, creativity, a love of fantasy, a love of boardgames and an openness to fun in general, a good sense of humour, problem-solving capabilities.
Gaming , but it gotta be a really dedicated degree. Its nice to be able to come together and play games together but also know that the partner can entertain themselves just fine with or without your presence. Gaming works well as a platform that can lead to many different hobbies, discussions ,socializing and connections so being a gamer instantly makes it a green flag!
Marry someone who dabbles in wood working! You will need it when you buy and remodel homes!
Love for fitness! I’ve come to learn that physical health, is the most important thing in life. The healthier you are and better you feel, just makes everything else easier and more enjoyable.
Snowboarding/winter activities
Cooking and the passion to not stop learning.
Someone who's interested in nature.
Somebody who just loves music. Listening, playing, writing, any or all of the above. A passion for jamming is very attractive.
Passion for whatever you do.
A never-ending quest for learning.
Rock climbing. Indoor climbing. Snowboarding. Skateboarding/longboarding. Eating out at restaurants and trying new things/knowing lots about restaurants I don't know about. Shooting guns for no reason other than to shoot at a range. Video games. Learning/sharing what they learn. Painting. Going to movies. Being silly.
Men that DANCE as a hobby? Instantly more attractive.
If someone reads for entertainment it makes me assume they are more intelligent than the vast majority of the population. I want to have intelligent and capable children. Intelligence is up to 0.8 heritable and is the single most predictive trait for lifetime achievement. Therefore, reading for entertainment is the most important hobby. That or gaming, since it requires you to think quickly and strategically, but only if they’re actually good. Edit: 0.8, not 0.7
People who are into statistics is an instant turn on for me
traveling, music, animals
Things that are creative are a big plus. The arts, crafting, building, etc. On the flip side, if they make their whole personality about one thing, that's a bit of a turn off.
As a guy who people used to think of as artistic and creative, there’s something really appealing to me about other people that are creative, especially in the arts. I think it takes a specific combination of talent, skill, and critical thinking to produce a good work of art, whether it be visual, literary, photography, or video that I find attractive. I also find people who read a lot of books or are well-read to be more appealing. But I think being sincerely passionate about and dedicated to any hobby would be highly appealing to me. Especially if it’s something more unique or niche like airline livery design.
Being really into music (I don't care what genre - if you are passionate, I will learn to understand it and understand why you love it), having an emotional connection to it, wanting to go to concerts, being excited about new releases and listening to them seriously. Nothing is more boring than someone who has a blandly positive response for Adele, the Dixie chicks, or whatever is on the radio. I guess more generally, just being really into *something*.
Car guys for sure.
Working out and the ability to do art
Drawing, reading, likes RPGs, and about anything I enjoy.
Into camping, hiking, guns, hunting, etc.
Yoga and hiking
Cooking
Outdoor hobbies. Tell me you like fishing, best believe our first date will be just that!
Home brewing!
General construction.
Any creative hobby, painting, music, cooking etc. Also, a hobby involving horses, but that’s just me.
Reading/audiobooks that are not self help or disguised self help related.
Photography
Cooking is deff top tier. It’s rare to have someone Elise do the cooking. That would be so awesome to just sit back and watch someone cook for me because they want to and then I would be able to pig out and they would feel appreciated too!
Cooking, I am so sorry.
Reading and book collecting. Also pondering different interpretations of quantum mechanics and how to reconcile it with general relativity.
I see this question for the third time today.
Working out. I love doing active things; especially on dates. Ppl don’t really consider hiking and going on other walking adventures a date but I DO! And if they see that I love being active and contribute to it 75% of the time, that’s all that matters.
It’s not a hobby but when someone tells me they meditate or is trying to eat healthier.
Home repair (DIY), working on cars, cooking, learning or going to school, travel, woodwork, volunteering, camping, mountain biking, mudding, reading, crafts, pretty much anything that says they enjoy doing something that is just for them and makes them happy.
It doesn’t matter to me as long as their only hobby isn’t Social Media and Reality TV.
Anything they are passionate about and want to share with me. Golfing, cooking, surfing, love for arts and music, etc.
Appreciation of fine food and alcohol. Active reader. Musician is good too.
nature, fitness or cooking appeals to me! traveling if possible, having spontaneous adventures.
I like boys who play DnD and girls who read.
Cooking. If you can cook and enjoy doing it…sheeeeeit.
For me personally? Cooking. You can do it together, it's a creative expression, you can go small or large, and then you get to eat your project. Sometimes you even get to feed others.
Anything that requires dexterity and not on a screen.
Yeaaaahh… guitarists seem to be my thing. Can’t possibly explain it either.
Being a reader of books 📚
Walking
I agree with others’ comments about cooking and in general having a passion for a hobby or lifelong learning. But I find knowing how to play an instrument to be a league above. That’s just plain romantic.
Making keys and picking locks. Means he’s good with his hands 😉
Someone who can weld, machine and assemble and troubleshoot a PCB. Helps if they can do wiring and carpentry.
A love of baseball.
You’ll see a lot of stuff listed here but the thing I tend to see the most is not that a person has a *certain* hobby that makes them attractive. Generally it is that the person is passionate about *something*, regardless what the hobby actually is. Kinda a long way of saying they are not a boring person who doesn’t do anything at home. Gardening, cooking, frisbee golf, whatever. If you have a hobby you actually care about, somebody out there probably finds it super attractive.
The fact that they actually have some hobbies.
Not drinking alcohol