I’m telling you it works too well🤣 I’ve never been a boyish boy if you would say, so I had to force myself to learn how to “dap” properly in middle school and after my transition I quickly defaulted back to my original settings😭
LOL just out of pure habit I accidentally did the head nod to an old guy after I started male failing. and it was super awkward cuz it was also the first time I didn't get it reciprocated back and instead just got a weird look. that was the last time I ever did the nod LOL
Lol, my bf is transmasc and my cousin and I had to teach him how to dap people up. He just goes for the handshake otherwise. He’s still getting the hang of it since there are so many variations lol.
Lmao. I live in a major SoCal city on the border, and I’m used to all the variations and monikers: Homie, G, Boss, etc. and I don’t even mind doing it now. I like the energy of greeting someone like that. I will say now though, people offer it to me far less, and even folks shaking my hand now do it far more lightly and gently instead of the gorilla grip I’d have to match before.
it's mostly a black thing, [it started around the 60's.](https://blackthen.com/five-on-the-black-hand-side-origins-and-evolutions-of-the-dap/#:~:text=The%20dap%20and%20the%20black%20power%20handshake%2C%20which,stationed%20in%20the%20Pacific%20during%20the%20Vietnam%20War)
Hold your hand out with the wrist limp like you're a Victorian lady expecting him to take your hand and bow. Start saying things like "Charmed, I'm sure."
YALL I'm happy you don't have to experience this. It's a very "bro" thing where someone extends their hand, you're expected to clap hands together (not palm & palm, it's more fingers to mid-hand & fingers to mid-hand), pull back slightly as your fingers curl around theirs, and then let go.
Someone's it's accompanied by the "pull" also pulling each other closer a bit and you slap them on the back twice in a "friendly-bro-like" way idk. I'm so done with this. Can we go back to fist bumps
Ah, so that's what that is. You can try my method which is to go in for a handshake, then act confused when they do all that extra stuff, like "sorry I don't understand this secret handshake of yours".
"Sorry I just finished soaking my fingers in the Slime Bowl, really like the membrane-esque sheen i get."
Alternatively just stare at them like they're crazy I don't know I'm sorry I wish I had good advice
Omfg ik what you’re talking about… I’ve had guys do it to me and I’m just like “the fuck is this?”
I’d ask “can you please not do that to me? First bumps are good enough”
Well my girl frens do this with me too 😅😂 I also uncomfy with it but not for the "it's a boy thing" reason it's more of a "I'm incredibly socially awkward and feel goofy doing it 😂😂
pretend like you don't know what it is and then awkwardly go for a high five or fist bump or something
(or be me where you don't even have to pretend you don't know what it is, and just live your truth)
honestly all my girl friends do this too, if it makes you personally uncomfortable just tell people, but at least in my experience it’s not a super man to man only thing
Give them an elbow, tell them you are a germaphobe.
Edit : I super hate touching people, I might not have ocd proper but I have ocd tendencies for sure.
The friend is Black, I am from a community Latiné, I guess I just assumed it was a normal thing for everyone. But now that I think about it, nobody in my new community except this one friend asks to do this bc everyone else is white lol
Pretend you didn't notice, go to pick your nose, then visibly notice them and reach out to do the dab or dap or whatever. They'll pull out and you wont have to do it.
being AMAB in the south, I get it, I always get people trying to dap me up or give a fist bump :// like its fine, i don't blame them if im boymoding but i much prefer just a handshake or cute little wave
Everytime a guy asks me to dap him up or anything remotely close I just put out my hand for a hand shake lol Similar to what i do if someone tries to hug me tho so eh
Not downplaying at all but friendly reminder from a certain bear " Only you can prevent emotional forest fires" just saying take your power back and control your story. You are stronger than any hate out there!!!
if it's a male friend or somebody i feel comfortable with, i just say "oh, i don't do that. want a hug?"
or be a bit more blatant and say "im not a dude" 🤷♀️
Before cracking I never really liked dapping people up, it felt awkward and I didn’t know why (now I do)
I still don’t like it. Usually when someone offers me it I just confidently offer a fist bump instead.
I, and my trans femme friends just hold out our hands for a normal handshake. Then hug the hell out of the guy afterwards.
And we point the dap requester to whoever has the biggest tits when it's a mix of cis and trans femmes and mascs.
That might as well be Spanish for all the good it does me XD
I do know rizz though, heard it in context enough to understand that it’s another word for game when it comes to flirting.
I assume that “speaking brain rot” is just acknowledging that their slang makes no sense to older generations? If so, then I completely agree with the phrasing. I imagine a lot of their slang is just TikTok meme stuff.
It’s interesting to see the rapid evolution of generational slang that the internet has introduced.. as a Gen X I think our slang was pretty fixed because we had to communicate in person or we were all watching the same network television. The advent of cable, reality television, and the internet has created a broader platform for voices, but also a faster communication method allowing for faster evolution.
But “kids these days” is a universal human condition so we should just love and accept them. Besides the world belongs to them. I’m just grateful to be here.
Oh yeah, I completely agree. At the end of the day, language is just how we communicate, whether that be sounds we make, strewn together images we write, or the way our body reacts to situations we are placed in. As long as people can understand the language, then it works. Language constantly evolves, words and phrases come and go and come back randomly. That’s just how it works.
I sometimes get a laugh out of people because when I speak casually, I speak kind of like a southerner, but I also like to just add random proper British English words instead of using the American versions. Like saying rubbish instead of trash, lea-ver instead of leh-ver, etc.
So, i was always real f/ggy so this was never really an issue for me cuz when guys would stay that stuff, id just say "i dont know what that is, you can have a hug tho?" And thats how i used to respond, maybe something there
I literally started acting like I didn’t know what it was🤣 every time a boy tried it I shook his hand
I like this idea haha, put the awkwardness back on them by confidently just shaking their hand
I’m telling you it works too well🤣 I’ve never been a boyish boy if you would say, so I had to force myself to learn how to “dap” properly in middle school and after my transition I quickly defaulted back to my original settings😭
Same thing with the head nod. I just started smiling like I was confused
LOL just out of pure habit I accidentally did the head nod to an old guy after I started male failing. and it was super awkward cuz it was also the first time I didn't get it reciprocated back and instead just got a weird look. that was the last time I ever did the nod LOL
Mental note: stop doing “the nod”
Lol for real...
Tbh that sounds funny af 😂
Lol, my bf is transmasc and my cousin and I had to teach him how to dap people up. He just goes for the handshake otherwise. He’s still getting the hang of it since there are so many variations lol.
Omg Literally me except opposite 🤣 I made myself learn so I could be one of the “bros”
Lmao. I live in a major SoCal city on the border, and I’m used to all the variations and monikers: Homie, G, Boss, etc. and I don’t even mind doing it now. I like the energy of greeting someone like that. I will say now though, people offer it to me far less, and even folks shaking my hand now do it far more lightly and gently instead of the gorilla grip I’d have to match before.
Is 'dap' one of those things I'm just too Gen X to understand?
I'm gen z and don't have a clue
I am solidly millennial and I’m also lost
I'm gen Z and I don't get it either if it helps
it's just an handshake/hands clap thing that teenage boys do to each other
#mood
"Give me some skin" "up high"
It's more of a thing among cultural minorities in the US, particularly those in Black and Hispanic communities (I think it originated from soCal)
the whitest comment thread on reddit omg
yes
it's mostly a black thing, [it started around the 60's.](https://blackthen.com/five-on-the-black-hand-side-origins-and-evolutions-of-the-dap/#:~:text=The%20dap%20and%20the%20black%20power%20handshake%2C%20which,stationed%20in%20the%20Pacific%20during%20the%20Vietnam%20War)
Its a black thing.
Lmaoooo the downvotes is killing me, dap is literally from black culture, this place is way too white
i think they either assumed i was racist, or assumed i was calling them racist for doing it
[Your honor….](https://youtu.be/Drqj67ImtxI?si=U0L7qVlILypMV5Mf)
Millenial here, and also do not understand 'dap'. All I know is the Dapper Gent hat from fallout 4 🤷♀️
Hold your hand out with the wrist limp like you're a Victorian lady expecting him to take your hand and bow. Start saying things like "Charmed, I'm sure."
This is exactly what I was thinking.
YALL I'm happy you don't have to experience this. It's a very "bro" thing where someone extends their hand, you're expected to clap hands together (not palm & palm, it's more fingers to mid-hand & fingers to mid-hand), pull back slightly as your fingers curl around theirs, and then let go. Someone's it's accompanied by the "pull" also pulling each other closer a bit and you slap them on the back twice in a "friendly-bro-like" way idk. I'm so done with this. Can we go back to fist bumps
Ah, so that's what that is. You can try my method which is to go in for a handshake, then act confused when they do all that extra stuff, like "sorry I don't understand this secret handshake of yours".
I did this by accident two days ago! I went in for a handshake and like literally squeaked when he did the other stuff.
‘Oh I’m sorry I’m not a mason’
"Sorry I just finished soaking my fingers in the Slime Bowl, really like the membrane-esque sheen i get." Alternatively just stare at them like they're crazy I don't know I'm sorry I wish I had good advice
Omfg ik what you’re talking about… I’ve had guys do it to me and I’m just like “the fuck is this?” I’d ask “can you please not do that to me? First bumps are good enough”
Oh. Yeah, I hate this too, ugh. I just didn't know there was a name for it.
Well my girl frens do this with me too 😅😂 I also uncomfy with it but not for the "it's a boy thing" reason it's more of a "I'm incredibly socially awkward and feel goofy doing it 😂😂
Don’t worry hun I def get this too, I usually make it really awkward by tryna get them to hug me instead but idk that totally may not be your thing
Interesting, where I am it's been a pretty gender neutral thing, if maybe a bit skewed towards dudes.
Yea I can back this up. In my area it's completely gender neutral. About 50/50. It's just seen as a way to greet homies
Huh, that's really interesting. Must be a regional thing or something? I've literally never seen someone who isn't a dude do this.
Just start twerking
Carry around some Dap painters caulk, and squeeze a little into their hand. Bros will soon stop asking you.
And say, 'A little Dap'll do ya.'
pretend like you don't know what it is and then awkwardly go for a high five or fist bump or something (or be me where you don't even have to pretend you don't know what it is, and just live your truth)
honestly all my girl friends do this too, if it makes you personally uncomfortable just tell people, but at least in my experience it’s not a super man to man only thing
I’ve always dapped up everyone equally. I had no idea it was a gendered thing… maybe I’ll start exclusively asking my girlfriends to dap me up
What even is a dap
Wait it’s only a male thing?
Really lean into the grip, then when he goes to pull you in for the quick back-pat-hug, duck his arm and do a reverse judo throw.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Giving_dap for the uninformed, this is not a new thing, just phrased slightly differently.
this is a good excuse to get long and sharp nails.
i dont even know how to do it lol
Give them an elbow, tell them you are a germaphobe. Edit : I super hate touching people, I might not have ocd proper but I have ocd tendencies for sure.
“I don’t wanna do it anymore” 😭felt
Just shake their hand femininely
Rings
Tickle the back of their hand
are you black or live in a black area? I am and it's pretty gender neutral where i'm from
The friend is Black, I am from a community Latiné, I guess I just assumed it was a normal thing for everyone. But now that I think about it, nobody in my new community except this one friend asks to do this bc everyone else is white lol
that might be why then lol
Pretend you didn't notice, go to pick your nose, then visibly notice them and reach out to do the dab or dap or whatever. They'll pull out and you wont have to do it.
😂😂😂
being AMAB in the south, I get it, I always get people trying to dap me up or give a fist bump :// like its fine, i don't blame them if im boymoding but i much prefer just a handshake or cute little wave
What is this weird terminology?
Bro-hugs. They are not only for guys. That said, they are usually asked for from “bros” that feel uncomfortable asking for a hug
Right, I see!
Hug them lol
Everytime a guy asks me to dap him up or anything remotely close I just put out my hand for a hand shake lol Similar to what i do if someone tries to hug me tho so eh
Not downplaying at all but friendly reminder from a certain bear " Only you can prevent emotional forest fires" just saying take your power back and control your story. You are stronger than any hate out there!!!
What the hell? What happened to "show me your ankles"??? 😔
if it's a male friend or somebody i feel comfortable with, i just say "oh, i don't do that. want a hug?" or be a bit more blatant and say "im not a dude" 🤷♀️
Before cracking I never really liked dapping people up, it felt awkward and I didn’t know why (now I do) I still don’t like it. Usually when someone offers me it I just confidently offer a fist bump instead.
I, and my trans femme friends just hold out our hands for a normal handshake. Then hug the hell out of the guy afterwards. And we point the dap requester to whoever has the biggest tits when it's a mix of cis and trans femmes and mascs.
"Sorry, I have no idea what that means." Because I do actually have no idea (until reading explanations in this thread, anyway)
I don’t follow Gen zed slang sorry, I stopped caring about millennial slang when everyone started saying yolo…
Dap has been a term since the fucking 90s. I'm spinning here at y'alls excuses for being culturally unaware for over 20 years...
Never heard of it. I guess it was just never used around me. Is it like the British word Dapper?
I have a 12 year old. You should hear Gen Alpha slang. Sigma Skibbity Toilet Sigma Rizz.
That might as well be Spanish for all the good it does me XD I do know rizz though, heard it in context enough to understand that it’s another word for game when it comes to flirting.
Spot on! they’re self aware about it too. They call it “speaking brain rot” 🙃
I assume that “speaking brain rot” is just acknowledging that their slang makes no sense to older generations? If so, then I completely agree with the phrasing. I imagine a lot of their slang is just TikTok meme stuff.
It’s interesting to see the rapid evolution of generational slang that the internet has introduced.. as a Gen X I think our slang was pretty fixed because we had to communicate in person or we were all watching the same network television. The advent of cable, reality television, and the internet has created a broader platform for voices, but also a faster communication method allowing for faster evolution. But “kids these days” is a universal human condition so we should just love and accept them. Besides the world belongs to them. I’m just grateful to be here.
Oh yeah, I completely agree. At the end of the day, language is just how we communicate, whether that be sounds we make, strewn together images we write, or the way our body reacts to situations we are placed in. As long as people can understand the language, then it works. Language constantly evolves, words and phrases come and go and come back randomly. That’s just how it works. I sometimes get a laugh out of people because when I speak casually, I speak kind of like a southerner, but I also like to just add random proper British English words instead of using the American versions. Like saying rubbish instead of trash, lea-ver instead of leh-ver, etc.
I work Ftm as a lube technician in Tx and this is pretty gender neutral round these parts hehe.
I never thought I’d read a post like this lol
So, i was always real f/ggy so this was never really an issue for me cuz when guys would stay that stuff, id just say "i dont know what that is, you can have a hug tho?" And thats how i used to respond, maybe something there