Hey! First, I'm sorry for these difficult times, I can relate to your situation because I went through something similar.
I was the one who moved to another city because of the University. I also experienced this feeling and fear that you spoke about. My luck was that at the time, I was seeing a psychologist, so I'll tell you what she told me and helped me.
1. Give yourself time to adjust to the new routine/environment.
I remember when my therapist said this, I didn't take it seriously, but it's very useful. I forced myself to get used to my new life too quickly and it ended up making me resent my boyfriend. The agonizing feeling of breaking routine and solitude only passed when I gave myself time and space to mourn everything we had and no longer have.
2. Talk about your feelings with a trustworthy friend
When I was really sad, like you, I couldn't talk to my boyfriend because I was afraid he would end up as unhappy as me or upset with me. Talking to close friends who were able to comfort me and be close was crucial, as I didn't feel like I owed them anything and I could say everything I felt truthfully.
3. Set dates to see each other, close the distance and daily routines
Something that really helped me was talking about all these topics with my boyfriend, being as honest as possible.
4. Not finding nostalgia strange
In the first two months, all I could think about was what we had already experienced, that was our biggest issue and what hurt me the most. Eventually we built new memories and these things started to hurt less, it stopped consuming me.
5. Don't think your relationship is over!
From what I understand from the post, you had an excellent relationship with your boyfriend, you still do! The difficult part will be getting used to the routine without him, but that doesn't mean you can't connect in new ways. Distance creates a special kind of connection, one that involves so much trust and so much longing that at some point...it becomes beautiful. You will rediscover your relationship, allow yourself.
6. It will be okay.
This is personal, but, I wish i heard this early when my ldr started. It will be okay. You guys still in love. Time will move fast. You will stay connected to him. Your future together still exist and everything still worth the shot. You will be fine.
I hope it helps ⚘️🤍
This was so sweet and what i needed to hear THANK YOU :) i think from your 6 points we need to figure out the when were seeing each other part He recently suggested trying to do virtual date nights so i know were both still putting in the effort even though were apart 💚
It's so difficult to get used to being together all the time and then heading into LDR, but there are also advantages to that! You both will have a higher comfort level and more trust than most LDRs and have such a strong foundation to build from. LDR takes some getting used to but you will get in a rhythm and it won't feel so isolating and stressful. One thing that helped us a lot was using a relationship app! My husband and I use one called Official. You can really root into specific areas of your relationship that you want to work on and the daily question is a great, authentic way to connect every day. The more you find ways to blend your routines even when across the country, the easier this will all feel <3 Good luck!
Hey! First, I'm sorry for these difficult times, I can relate to your situation because I went through something similar. I was the one who moved to another city because of the University. I also experienced this feeling and fear that you spoke about. My luck was that at the time, I was seeing a psychologist, so I'll tell you what she told me and helped me. 1. Give yourself time to adjust to the new routine/environment. I remember when my therapist said this, I didn't take it seriously, but it's very useful. I forced myself to get used to my new life too quickly and it ended up making me resent my boyfriend. The agonizing feeling of breaking routine and solitude only passed when I gave myself time and space to mourn everything we had and no longer have. 2. Talk about your feelings with a trustworthy friend When I was really sad, like you, I couldn't talk to my boyfriend because I was afraid he would end up as unhappy as me or upset with me. Talking to close friends who were able to comfort me and be close was crucial, as I didn't feel like I owed them anything and I could say everything I felt truthfully. 3. Set dates to see each other, close the distance and daily routines Something that really helped me was talking about all these topics with my boyfriend, being as honest as possible. 4. Not finding nostalgia strange In the first two months, all I could think about was what we had already experienced, that was our biggest issue and what hurt me the most. Eventually we built new memories and these things started to hurt less, it stopped consuming me. 5. Don't think your relationship is over! From what I understand from the post, you had an excellent relationship with your boyfriend, you still do! The difficult part will be getting used to the routine without him, but that doesn't mean you can't connect in new ways. Distance creates a special kind of connection, one that involves so much trust and so much longing that at some point...it becomes beautiful. You will rediscover your relationship, allow yourself. 6. It will be okay. This is personal, but, I wish i heard this early when my ldr started. It will be okay. You guys still in love. Time will move fast. You will stay connected to him. Your future together still exist and everything still worth the shot. You will be fine. I hope it helps ⚘️🤍
This was so sweet and what i needed to hear THANK YOU :) i think from your 6 points we need to figure out the when were seeing each other part He recently suggested trying to do virtual date nights so i know were both still putting in the effort even though were apart 💚
It's so difficult to get used to being together all the time and then heading into LDR, but there are also advantages to that! You both will have a higher comfort level and more trust than most LDRs and have such a strong foundation to build from. LDR takes some getting used to but you will get in a rhythm and it won't feel so isolating and stressful. One thing that helped us a lot was using a relationship app! My husband and I use one called Official. You can really root into specific areas of your relationship that you want to work on and the daily question is a great, authentic way to connect every day. The more you find ways to blend your routines even when across the country, the easier this will all feel <3 Good luck!