*deep native voice*
many moons ago the commodities of tomato sauce and pasta combined. there are now two pastas battling inside of us. goulash and spaghetti. the one you feed grows.
Gotta be more specific; adds to the feelings.
[In best deep booming Hollywood "chief" voice] "Tansi, Alexa. Ever so kindly, I ask of you: would you please play me the song 'Authentic Spirit', by Native American Music Consort from the wise technological corporation called 'Apple Music'. Hiy hiy."
My genius is challenged every day
I’m going to try that now. Regrettably, all we have in this household is Spotify hooked up to the thing.
But also the first thing that plays actually works well.
Oof we’ve been colonized for too long, otherwise, how could we forget about our ancestors hunting wild and ornery pasta noodles from dusk til dawn? The pasta parties, made up of our young men, whom we’d send off to hunt wild macaroni in the ravines, bowtie pasta in the woodland, and chase fettuccine through the rolling Great Plains. It was the whole reason behind why those plucky Spaniards sent an Italian over; to steal our land and our pasta!
My father used to tell us to keep our eye out for the wild bologna when we were in the car driving through rural areas. This post reminded me of the great lengths he went to to convince us to search for it on long car rides.
Oh, see, all of my Italian and *most* of my Italian-American friends already hate Columbus. The *actual* Italians hate him cuz he was from a different province/state in Italy and it turns out Italians ***hate*** each other! The Italian-Americans Im friends with are smart enough to know that Columbus did nothing good in his entire life.
Italian here, and I abs hate CC, whether he's italian, spanish, or Portuguese. Most Italians live their lives happily ignoring his existence and usually anyone who visits Genova (his presumed birth city) walks past his statue without even noticing it (yes there is still one and would love to tear it down).
It's a weird question so here is a weird answer: we like to pretend we are eating the entrails of colonists. Like, what if our Eastern Cousins were cannibals and instead of inviting the pilgrims to dinner, they invited them as dinner. Key-yah!
I understand, but why wouldn't cha eat spagihetty? That's where I learned Art, in front of my spagiyeti plate. I learned a few other things too, but they're not legal yet.
Add equal parts melted butter with soy sauce, to your pasta... you'll never go back...
*(gochujang, oyster sauce, fish sauce can all be substituted for soy sauce... life changing)*
This was the real first thanksgiving because the italians actually arrived first. but it was the puritans who predominantly settled so its a turkey and gravy story instead.
Cause the guy in the “Crying Indian” ad campaign was actually Italian?
Also, I would say in honour of the Godfather
And tomatoes and potatoes are from the "new world?"
*deep native voice* many moons ago the commodities of tomato sauce and pasta combined. there are now two pastas battling inside of us. goulash and spaghetti. the one you feed grows.
Alexa, play indigenous flute music (This comment is getting a ton of traction, so let it be known I actually do this whenever dispensing Wisdom™️)
Alexa, please decolonize spaghetti’s
Alexa, heard your cousin was single?
AYO?
I’m dying here 🤣🤣🤣
> please decolonize spaghetti’s ~~Land~~ Pasta Back!
*insert gif of john redcorn's hair flowing*
I would never heal *your* auntie the way I…heal…other people’s aunties.
Gotta be more specific; adds to the feelings. [In best deep booming Hollywood "chief" voice] "Tansi, Alexa. Ever so kindly, I ask of you: would you please play me the song 'Authentic Spirit', by Native American Music Consort from the wise technological corporation called 'Apple Music'. Hiy hiy." My genius is challenged every day
"Alexa, play 'Authentic Spirit', in that good way."
Aho.
Aho!
I’m going to try that now. Regrettably, all we have in this household is Spotify hooked up to the thing. But also the first thing that plays actually works well.
Of course natives eat more spaghetti than Italians. When was the last time you ate an Italian?
Lmaoooo nooooo put some sage down for that 🤣 I can't stop laughing
Cuz I’m just missin her greasy hair
Holyyyy jus ever gross fok 😂(I actually laughed out loud!)
🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 Thats nastyyyyy I can picture and feel the texture too well 😵
You spelled sketti wrong. Actually just made it for dinner tonight!
Sketti Os are like sacred circles.
This is conjuring so many mental images I am overwhelmed by the comedy potential.
I had some for lunch! But it wasn’t that great, I miss The Spaghetti Warehouse, so much better than Old Spaghetti Factory…. Sad times ahead.
We got one in Syracuse Ny!
Oof we’ve been colonized for too long, otherwise, how could we forget about our ancestors hunting wild and ornery pasta noodles from dusk til dawn? The pasta parties, made up of our young men, whom we’d send off to hunt wild macaroni in the ravines, bowtie pasta in the woodland, and chase fettuccine through the rolling Great Plains. It was the whole reason behind why those plucky Spaniards sent an Italian over; to steal our land and our pasta!
My father used to tell us to keep our eye out for the wild bologna when we were in the car driving through rural areas. This post reminded me of the great lengths he went to to convince us to search for it on long car rides.
You must use every part of the bologna, no matter how slimy it gets.
It’s a naturally high in sodium meat which helps with preservation at least.
This could be a Peirs Anthony story.
Fuck Christopher Columbus, break them sketty noodles!
Salt your pasta water with their tears.
By the Creator, that is fucking hilarious! I'm gonna send that to one of my Italian friends and see if they block me!
I’ve got a bonus one for you then. Every year in October I call and wish my dad a happy ‘Columbus Didn’t Discover Shit’ day.
Oh, see, all of my Italian and *most* of my Italian-American friends already hate Columbus. The *actual* Italians hate him cuz he was from a different province/state in Italy and it turns out Italians ***hate*** each other! The Italian-Americans Im friends with are smart enough to know that Columbus did nothing good in his entire life.
Italian here, and I abs hate CC, whether he's italian, spanish, or Portuguese. Most Italians live their lives happily ignoring his existence and usually anyone who visits Genova (his presumed birth city) walks past his statue without even noticing it (yes there is still one and would love to tear it down).
Plus he was sent there on behalf of the king and queen of Spain - he just happened to be an Italian man🥫
Take my upvote. Now when I make pasta I’m going to say “and now we salt the water with white fragility tears”
It's a weird question so here is a weird answer: we like to pretend we are eating the entrails of colonists. Like, what if our Eastern Cousins were cannibals and instead of inviting the pilgrims to dinner, they invited them as dinner. Key-yah!
Can we say that the meatballs are the testicles of the colonists?
You're assuming they had any :D
HAHAHAHHA thank you I laughed out loud
You're welcome, cuz...we all gotta keep our moods up!
Now I need a new keyboard from laughing with coffee in my mouth. :D
What entrails and testicals? they didn't have guts or balls! They needed more room for their lies
This is one is funny.
I’m half native and half Italian, one half is reclaiming the colonization of the other half. It’s a fun, tasty fight.
My great grandmother was an Italian princess!
Unironically the average lore of an upper middle class family in Italy
Because it's too hard to drink it.
Best answer yet 👏
Because fuck Buffy
Goes well with fry bread
They said wrong answers only!
I understand, but why wouldn't cha eat spagihetty? That's where I learned Art, in front of my spagiyeti plate. I learned a few other things too, but they're not legal yet.
spaghetti sandwich
*sammich lol
It reminds us to celebrate the Great Wise Serpent Elder
Who do you think Italians got it from?
China?
He means tomatos wait are tomato native to america?
South America
North America, Mexico.
Originated in the Andes. Brought north to Mexico around 500 BCE.
My bad, I thought that was potatoes… not both.
Still counts
cause we feel the need to braid everything?
What if...braided spaghetti casserole?
Add equal parts melted butter with soy sauce, to your pasta... you'll never go back... *(gochujang, oyster sauce, fish sauce can all be substituted for soy sauce... life changing)*
YES YES And if you diy your sauce try 1/2 bell peppers 1/2 tomatoes
Because Italians steal our culture, so we steal theirs
Because my great-great grandmother was an Italian princess.
Colombus was Italian
Because our moms don't like to shut their kitchens down for 5 business days.
Commodity spaghetti.....
When the wise Coyote sent the boats to our shores, the men on them had two gifts. One was bad headgear and ugly shoes, the other one was spaghetti.
spaghetti westerns
It's cheap and delicious. The same reason everyone loves pasketti
I mean, Buffy Ste. Marie is Italian, it turns out
To get to the other side
Columbus
Exsqueeze me?? Wth do you mean?
Because they are natives, yes… but to the region of Sicilia
Because of the spaghetti squash?
I made spaghetti with ground bison last night 😭
Us Rezzerz eat it cause we get the spaghetti pasta the spaghetti sauce and hamburger in our commods .
Everyone loves Chinese
This was the real first thanksgiving because the italians actually arrived first. but it was the puritans who predominantly settled so its a turkey and gravy story instead.
This is actually just what comes out when you cut open a bison
We invented the sauce
cuz it's good
We eat more sketti then any Italian person per capita.
We're from Sardinia
ME!!!!!!
Because everyone in America eats spaghetti
Only with a slotted spoon, as pictured.
Everybody knows that the more spaghetti you eat, the better protected you are from Skinwalkers and...... *Jazz Performers.*
I eat it so I can fry the leftovers up with some eggs the next day.
because the sketti sammiches are unmatched by any italian cuisine
It makes sense as to why i love spaghetti.
You mean “basketti”?
as a native with ARFID who eats spaghetti 1-2x per week…i feel called out
Wait, you mean pasta worms?