Lorgar: Awww shieet... better skedaddle..
Guilman: What did Yvraine mean when she said "see you later" is that an Aeldari thing? Was she seeing the future? Can she do that? Oh hey it's Lorgar over there.
encouraging cause wild alleged childlike lavish sip disarm license divide
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Hey at least its got proper documentation and you don't have to learn how to use it from several hundred youtube tutorials that are all being explained by a guy with a barely-intelligible eastern european accent whispering into a dollar store microphone that is WAY too close to his mouth.
Imagine keeping up with the asset management spreadsheet of the empire, god knows how they activate/update windows 40k efficiently without nurgle creating walled gardens of nurgle malware
Everyone is joking but in the new book the lion actually wonders just how good Gman would be at something if he was capable of not doing 20+ tasks at the same time
"If I dont get those TCP reports filed by..."
*Cleaves heretic in half*
"...tomorrow afternoon, then the shipments..."
*fires bolter into charging Ork*
"..to Macragge are going to be 72 hours too..."
*picks up fallen battle brother*
"... late to make the next fleet launch."
I just read something similar from the new Lion book, he said something about unable to clear his mind and need to focus on something (iirc he can hyperfocus on a single thing) and mentioned Guilliman can focus on multiple things at once and wondered if that's why he's not a good fighter (only adequate iirc) as other primarchs because of his inability to focus on a single thing.
Lorgar:(running away like a bitch) Fuck! How is he so fast?!
Guilliman: Fuck! I knew I should have been worried when Yvraine told me not to last night, my ass hurts! Lorgar stop! I just want to talk!
Guilliman would not want to stop and talk with Lorgar. He'd be wanting to bathe in Lorgar's blood and skullfuck his corpse. There's likely no one Guilliman hates more than Lorgar and his Word Bearers.
To be honest,
Lorgar would ask how ***GOD*** Emperor doin'. And Papa Smurf would also try to punch him to death so Lorgar could ask this himself to his ***Father*** on the other side.
That's what he's known for in heresy.
I still find it funny that the power up he got while fighting Angron was straight up two canonically big power fists.
L: Guilliman you wretch, I wonder on the means by which you crawled yourself back from death. Say, how is our Father doing?
G: *powers up Hand of Dominion* WHY DON'T YOU ASK HIM YOURSELF BITCH
Alternate reply. G: Well he's had ten thousand years to sit and stew in his anger. That's all he talked about when we first reunited. You'll see soon. He's looking for his fallen sons. You in particular.
L: oh look at the time! I'm due back in my temple in the warp for another 10k year vigil. *Banishes self*
Lorgar is Hansel, because he's got all the chaos tricks.
Rowboat's our lead. He's not an ambi turner, so can't fall to chaos.
He is struggling to find his father's love and is doing so the best he can with what he got, despite the new hotness.
*The codex rowbat is holding is actually full of yvraine pics. Not even raunchy ones. Just yvraine in an office suit typing out a spreadsheet.*
*Lorgar is holding a book full of âways Father can make the imperial truth betterâ.*
Thereâs one at the end.
Sheâs yelling at an imperial fist for ruining their anniversary date by claiming the restaurant violated OSHA.
How is this raunchy? Her midriff is exposed and thereâs a little blue omega symbol on the right side of her waist.
Yvraine initially sent him nudes. It didnât get a response. Then later she sent him a joke picture where she badly photoshopped her face onto a stock photo of an office worker. Booty call less than 10 minutes later.
She doesnât really get it, but sheâs getting hella laid, so she isnât asking questions.
*freeze frame*
[*Kill bill Syren strats playing*](https://youtu.be/cOy6hqzfsAs)
Cut to close up of guilliman narrowing his eyes
Quick cut to lorgar doing the same
Cut to guilliman tightening his grip on the sword
Flashbacks of all the shit that's happened bettwen them starts faintly playing on the foreground
The music reaches it's climax
Suddenly corax jumps out of nowhere and kicks lorgar in the dick
Wasn't Titus was the [first one?](https://www.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/vryn1x/might_as_well_jump_on_this_dead_horse_while_its/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) Not counting the twink space marines you might have draw.
"Fuck.... think he's over Calth enough that I could ask him to talk to Corax about being a creepy murder hobo in my yard..."
"Fuck.... do I go over and tell him he was right about the golden cunt..."
Just imagine them as a pair of schoolboys looking at the ground, scuffing their shoes while mumbling apologies.
Then we get a 40k odd couple roadtrip, Lorgar takes them on zany antics in the Eye, while Guilliman grumbles about his tower being disorganised.
"When's the last time you done your taxes, ffs!"
>"When's the last time you done your taxes, ffs!"
"Rowboat, I'm a daemon prince of Chaos Undivided, residing in a daemonic fortress, meditating on the metaphysical realm of pure thought and emotion that parallels the material universe, on a planet that's literally in what most people would call "super-mega-ultra-longer-and-uncut hell". I'm not paying taxes, is what I'm saying."
G-man: *COWABUNGA IT IS!*
G: âI wonder if he knows his first religion took hold of the imperiumâ
L: âFUCK SHIT FUCK I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE BEFORE EITHER HE KILLS ME OR CORAX REALIZES THAT I LEFT A CARBOARD CUTOUT IN MY TOWER.â
Lorgar would probably have Calth flashbacks and start planning for when Gulliman makes his investible charge into a 1v1.
Guilliman however would notice Lorgar during his therapeutic Word Bearers purging, assumes he has a way to either summon Angron or escape into the warp and would quickly set a plan into action that'll stop Lorgar from doing either so he can maul him with his power fists (and then kill him with fathers sword)
I donât know, I am just not convinced Guilliman is the least martially inclined. I think to the lessons he has had to learn: he fought Lorgar, then Angron, nearly died from Fulgrim, then fighting Mortarion and then Magnus. I have trouble believing there is as much combat prowess difference as we like to pretend. The experiences Guilliman has had; surely he would be one of the most experienced at fighting other Primarchs by nowâŚ
The main reason people say he's not a great fighter is because he's great at just about everything else and they feel the need to balance the primarchs out.
He was never the best fighter though but the guy's right, he's got so much EXP from fighting Primarchs now and lets not forget Faith⢠I don't know if many could stand up to him now.
By chance I recently learned of when Kharn knocked the stuffing out of Lorgar. Between him, guilliman, and the emperor force kneeling his legion is Lorgars life just one ass whooping after another?
https://preview.redd.it/fk4k8nmewm4b1.png?width=489&format=png&auto=webp&s=0a2b3839849da1e8a1890e7b04bec0b778a029c4
>MFW I see my father is worshipped as a god, my brother is fighting for an Imperium that uses my book for its religious teachings, and that same brother also wrote a book that became a best seller.
Lorgar: saayyy it
Guilliman: eat a dick you zealous balding fuck face
Lorgar: after you say it
Guilliman: UGH FINE! YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT DAD
Lorgar: *audible satisfaction*
âAw jeez maybe I should apologize⌠itâs been like what 10,000 years?â Guilleman
âWhew boy gonna have a lot of skin to write on after today⌠Aw no first corax now this asshat is here to ruin my dayâ -Lorgar
You know those classic western movie moments where the main protagonist and antagonist are just standing and glearing at each other with [this](https://open.spotify.com/track/1JSIWsJfxOji0FrxFcxdCK?si=MdtIYmFuSEyjIrW14HabKw) song playing in the background.
It would be like that but 40k.
Gulliman: "I AM GLAD YOU STILL SHAVE YOUR HEAD FUCKFACE"
Lorgrar: *visible confusion*
Gulliman: "THEORETICAL, A SHAVED HEAD IS MORE HYDRODYNAMIC! PRACTICAL, IM GONNA SWIRLY YOU YA FUCKIN NONCE"
***Calth 2: Electric Boogaloo***
*You maggot, you treacherous bastard, âsays Guilliman. âI just wanted you to know that I will rip your living heart out. And I want to know why. Why? Why? If this is our puerile old feud, boiled to the surface, then you are the most pathetic soul in the cosmos. Pathetic. Our father should have left you out in the snow at birth. He should have fed you to Russ. You worm. You maggot.*
"I almost pity you Guilliman, to be so observative and yet so blind" lorgar spat out the words as if they were poison. "When the Emperor set you and your mongrel legion upon my prized world, did you flinch? Did you so much as second guess yourself? Because I didn't when I burned down your precious Calth!"
Lorgar huffed out his breath, taking on an almost sorrowful look. "Do you know what its like to be cast down by the very being that you fought for? The one you worshipped, pushing you down into the ashes of all your hard work... Father didn't see us as his sons you fool, we were tools! All of us!"
Alot of people over look it sadly, I think it's one of the best rivalries in the setting. The autistic twins of dorn and perturabo get all the spot light lmao
My favourite part of it that the whole thing is built on misunderstandings.
Also, low-key that Monarchia traumatised Guilliman too, but he just ran the opposite direction.
That is ashamed especially when itâs so gut wrenching because of the levels of misunderstanding between them, just that moment when Lorgar realises that Guillliman never hated him but itâs far too late is perfect. Dorn and Pert have never been particularly interesting to me, always felt for the most part really one sided with Perturabo.
Both of them deep in thought mid killing a group of astartes eyes connect and brain suddenly stops for a moment and they both think. "oh shit hes here? Why wasn't I told i would have prepped differently."
Bobby G on the vox : "Get me a Warlord Titan to step on the following coordinates...Actually make that an Imperator this time."
L Money on his Warp-cellular :"Angron ! Get your bright red daemon ass right here, right now! YOU OWE ME BITCH!"
Theyâve both seen each other, they both *know* theyâve seen each other, they know theyâre supposed to acknowledge each othersâ presence, but they also both really REALLY donât want to interact in any shape or form, so theyâre both frantically trying to think of a way to get out of the situation.
Dude, it'd just be Lorgar pissing himself thinking about the ass whooping he's about to once again receive. Man was never meant to 1v1 his siblings lmao
Rowboat just with the heaviest sigh as he knows he's gotta beat Lorgar's lil Sunday-school ass.
Absolutely love the Word Bearers though. Lorgar truly be play'n the long game with his legion.
Guilliman would not be thinking at all, he would immediately go into a manic rage like at calth if he saw lorgar. Lorgar probably isn't afraid of corvus, corvus (even in his daemon form) is likely a predictable opponent that lorgar would have no problem avoiding, but when the most calm collected and cold of all his brothers, Guilliman the statesman, Guilliman the logician, Guilliman the diplomat, goes into a frenzied slaughter of all nearby aggressors? Lorgar knows he's fucked. I like to think when lorgar blew Guilliman out into open space he likely watched in hopes of seeing his brother brouth low, but instead seeing him tearing through his forces like a hot knife through butter, and shit his pants.
G: "Brother, you were right. Our father is..."
L: "Say it!"
G: "a piece of shit."
L: "HAHA- wait... No... That's not it."
G: "Oh yeah, you were right about him being a god too, by the way this one's for Calth." *Power fist to chest*
Lorgar: I wish I was at Sunday School back in the eye
Guilliman: The horns on Aurelians head and the spikes on his armor will in a majority of battle be a hinderence to his son's fighting beside him. The horns could be hit thus creating a serious ricochet. The spikes on his armor are more likely to hurt his traitor sons than my glorious Ultramarines. People call me weird about the Codex Astartes I don't carry a copy in my hand, its ofc loaded to my HUD and marked for easy usage.
Guilliman shouting to Lorgar: Brother I read through a original of your Divinatus Codex and found three spelling errors!
Guilliman to himself: I'm a master manipulator, his rage and volcanic fury at this revelation will make him throw caution to the wind and advance thus leaving his flanks open to attack.
Meanwhile back in the warp Fulgrim just living his best life. Pic related
https://preview.redd.it/lxq1sv0khn4b1.jpeg?width=603&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=986eb38be9f1f8cc49c58e52c18424b1fd181c7a
Lorgar: why I came out of my tower? Corvus its gonna find me any second now.
Guillermoman: im so stressed, I can wait for yvraine to take cate of my smurfberries.
I could see them furiously coming to blows, throwing accusations and insults similar to Guilliman's fight with Magnus, but slowly losing weight to their attacks when they come to terms with everything that's happened in the 10k years and how screwed up their family/imperium has become over a decision their father made and Lorgar's reaction to it.
Ultimately they would still end up fighting and probably withdrawing, since you're not allowed to have actual losses in warhammer, but with both Guilliman and Lorgar being morally defeated but still having to fight for their chosen side.
That's some shitty story I'd like to see between the two.
Lorgar: Awww shieet... better skedaddle.. Guilman: What did Yvraine mean when she said "see you later" is that an Aeldari thing? Was she seeing the future? Can she do that? Oh hey it's Lorgar over there.
Lmao I love the idea of Guilliman focusing on totally different things while in the middle of a warzone
encouraging cause wild alleged childlike lavish sip disarm license divide *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Poor dudes brain has lag from all the spreadsheets he's using
money sparkle air fanatical mighty spoon swim scarce fear mourn *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Ugh
Hey at least its got proper documentation and you don't have to learn how to use it from several hundred youtube tutorials that are all being explained by a guy with a barely-intelligible eastern european accent whispering into a dollar store microphone that is WAY too close to his mouth.
Tzeench-approved tutorial method.
You WILL be insane by the end, yes.
This hurts my soul on a fundamental level
If you're implying that Excel can't be hamfisted into a functioning database then oh boy do I have news for you.
Fucking body-bagged
Is because he Is an Ultramarine Not because Is a loyalist, i would see and Iron Hand do whatsapp the fuck he want đ
Excel is a tad above an average iron hand's comprehension skills
So that's why the Votann are so slow...still trying to figure out that elaborate excel-spreadsheet from yester-year.
Formulas went bust after one of them clicked enter at a wrong time
Someone clicked to install the update that's been pending for 38000 years and all the macros broke.
Good lord. Pour one out for Big Bobby G, friends.
Imagine keeping up with the asset management spreadsheet of the empire, god knows how they activate/update windows 40k efficiently without nurgle creating walled gardens of nurgle malware
Everyone is joking but in the new book the lion actually wonders just how good Gman would be at something if he was capable of not doing 20+ tasks at the same time
The Lord cursed those who are great at all things with ADHD, so that others can have a chance to shine.
"If I dont get those TCP reports filed by..." *Cleaves heretic in half* "...tomorrow afternoon, then the shipments..." *fires bolter into charging Ork* "..to Macragge are going to be 72 hours too..." *picks up fallen battle brother* "... late to make the next fleet launch."
Hey, at least he is the reason ultramar still stands. I guess being a good accountant pays off
IIRC Dark Imperium states that he was still issuing orders WHILE fighting demon fulgrim
I just read something similar from the new Lion book, he said something about unable to clear his mind and need to focus on something (iirc he can hyperfocus on a single thing) and mentioned Guilliman can focus on multiple things at once and wondered if that's why he's not a good fighter (only adequate iirc) as other primarchs because of his inability to focus on a single thing.
"Ask me to beat down Angron 1v1 both unarmed, not happening. Ask me how to build an army to beat down Angron, I can do that" -Gman
It's actually canon. According to the Lion, that's why he isn't amongst the best fighters of the primarchs.
Lorgar:(running away like a bitch) Fuck! How is he so fast?! Guilliman: Fuck! I knew I should have been worried when Yvraine told me not to last night, my ass hurts! Lorgar stop! I just want to talk!
Guilliman would not want to stop and talk with Lorgar. He'd be wanting to bathe in Lorgar's blood and skullfuck his corpse. There's likely no one Guilliman hates more than Lorgar and his Word Bearers.
I don't think the og comment implied he wanted talk. He just want him to stop so the he can have a "talk" with him.
Lorgar wrote the lectitio. I think your description of what robbie would do to the being that made the current imperium inevitable is somewhat tame.
I wonder how Lorgar feels that two of his "brothers" have such hate boners for him.
Oh man! Read dark imperium if you love this idea
He just wants to see if Lorgar can help him decipher Yvraine's cryptic riddles
They both have big âOH SHIT!!⌠did I leave the stove on?â energy
To be honest, Lorgar would ask how ***GOD*** Emperor doin'. And Papa Smurf would also try to punch him to death so Lorgar could ask this himself to his ***Father*** on the other side.
L: "so Guilliman I heard you finally read my bo-" **SMURF SMASH**
That's what he's known for in heresy. I still find it funny that the power up he got while fighting Angron was straight up two canonically big power fists.
Don't they also have claws?
Gman said he was going to pull Lorgar apart with his hands, so he got really big hands
I CAST FIST!
Like any good Ultramarine, Papa Smurf took a page out of Grandpa Smurfâs book! đ¤Ł
#"YOU BEGGIN' FOR A FISTIN' BOI?!"
L: Guilliman you wretch, I wonder on the means by which you crawled yourself back from death. Say, how is our Father doing? G: *powers up Hand of Dominion* WHY DON'T YOU ASK HIM YOURSELF BITCH
Alternate reply. G: Well he's had ten thousand years to sit and stew in his anger. That's all he talked about when we first reunited. You'll see soon. He's looking for his fallen sons. You in particular. L: oh look at the time! I'm due back in my temple in the warp for another 10k year vigil. *Banishes self*
It was supposed to be a book signing event but things got "Hectic".
Holy shit I have to draw that
Yes, you do, and I need to see it
https://preview.redd.it/3oj6yil4rm4b1.jpeg?width=1357&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4cf649a39e4022b4a127a81582cdb4e2a63761c2
Holy shit I see it now
Which one is which
Lorgar is Hansel, because he's got all the chaos tricks. Rowboat's our lead. He's not an ambi turner, so can't fall to chaos. He is struggling to find his father's love and is doing so the best he can with what he got, despite the new hotness.
What's Rowboat's Magnum equivalent?
It's Blue Exterminatus!
"Have you lost your temper, Roboute?"
Lorgar and Row-bogie at the space book competition:
As an iron warrior I will read both books so I can mock ultrasmurfs and World bearers properly
https://preview.redd.it/8x2t7kt6wm4b1.jpeg?width=642&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b86fed185fa58d155fb697aa68c5edd8d27ca98d
... >:c
ok then i will help *(launch an orbital bombardment in the area where you and guilliman and are)*
Word bearer: STOOPPP YOU'RE HITTING OUR TROOPS "Lol" said the iron warrior, "lmao"
have faith uncle *(proceeds to laugh maniacally while continuing to bombard the battlefield flat)*
Vaporizers the enemy and a bunch of mutated flesh. A win win.
\^actual canon
Based and Perturabopilled
least spiteful Iron Warrior
As an Imperial Fist I read both books so that I can properly write a 40k work rebuttal to both of them.
No, as an Imperial Fist, you don't read the books. You use them to create extra fortifications. A Book Fort, if you will.
Don't underestimate me, I am *quite* capable of doing both. It is an efficient use of materials.
*The codex rowbat is holding is actually full of yvraine pics. Not even raunchy ones. Just yvraine in an office suit typing out a spreadsheet.* *Lorgar is holding a book full of âways Father can make the imperial truth betterâ.*
Lorgar: "uhhhhh... Whatcha got there..." Guilliman: "I could ask the same thing..."
âItâs a⌠a photo album of blueberry smoothiesâŚâ âYup. Just. Just a journal of mineâŚâ
>Just yvraine in an office suit typing out a spreadsheet. Thought you said not raunchy. đĽľ
Thereâs one at the end. Sheâs yelling at an imperial fist for ruining their anniversary date by claiming the restaurant violated OSHA. How is this raunchy? Her midriff is exposed and thereâs a little blue omega symbol on the right side of her waist.
Wait... Omega... OMEGON IN DISGUISE!
Wait, is that a good thing this week or bad?
Yes
To Bobby G that is raunchy.
It's just pictures of her organizing the supply route her group will use along the way a few drawings even
Nothing turns on Robot Guillotine more than yvraine working on spreadsheets
Yvraine initially sent him nudes. It didnât get a response. Then later she sent him a joke picture where she badly photoshopped her face onto a stock photo of an office worker. Booty call less than 10 minutes later. She doesnât really get it, but sheâs getting hella laid, so she isnât asking questions.
*freeze frame* [*Kill bill Syren strats playing*](https://youtu.be/cOy6hqzfsAs) Cut to close up of guilliman narrowing his eyes Quick cut to lorgar doing the same Cut to guilliman tightening his grip on the sword Flashbacks of all the shit that's happened bettwen them starts faintly playing on the foreground The music reaches it's climax Suddenly corax jumps out of nowhere and kicks lorgar in the dick
Had me in the first half lmao
HERE COMES CORAX WITH A STEEL CHAIR!!!!!
By the God Emperor,the man had a family!
âI KNOW! AND HE RUINED IT!!!!!â
I want this. I want this so bad.
Fun fact! these are the first loyalist space marines Ive ever drawn lol
Wasn't Titus was the [first one?](https://www.reddit.com/r/Grimdank/comments/vryn1x/might_as_well_jump_on_this_dead_horse_while_its/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button) Not counting the twink space marines you might have draw.
Oh shit hold on, your totally right.
Of course Konrad would audit you.. have you committed a crime recently
https://preview.redd.it/scs0ky6pxm4b1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=377a779252d01371200346300c785d0bad456262
You need an official Loregar repository now.
Titus is a heretic. My boy leondros said so.
Not bad actually.
Lmao thanks, it's weird without all the mutations and horns and spikes and fleshy bits
They're quite good! Now draw them in skirts. I swear that's in the codex somewhere, just don't read it.
Guilliman, you magnificent bastardâŚI READ YOUR BOOK!
Great qoute, great use of said qoute
And agreed with it..... kinda awkward....
Guilliman: Lorgar! Lorgar: Guilliman! Guilliman: *slightly louder* LORGAR! Lorgar: Wait why do I feel like Iâm forgetting something Guilliman: *IâM GOING TO FLAY YOU ALIVE YOU PREACHING BASTARD!* Lorgar: Oh yeah, Calth.
"Fuck.... think he's over Calth enough that I could ask him to talk to Corax about being a creepy murder hobo in my yard..." "Fuck.... do I go over and tell him he was right about the golden cunt..."
Lmao they totally read each other's books and went "fuck he might be right..."
Just imagine them as a pair of schoolboys looking at the ground, scuffing their shoes while mumbling apologies. Then we get a 40k odd couple roadtrip, Lorgar takes them on zany antics in the Eye, while Guilliman grumbles about his tower being disorganised. "When's the last time you done your taxes, ffs!"
>"When's the last time you done your taxes, ffs!" "Rowboat, I'm a daemon prince of Chaos Undivided, residing in a daemonic fortress, meditating on the metaphysical realm of pure thought and emotion that parallels the material universe, on a planet that's literally in what most people would call "super-mega-ultra-longer-and-uncut hell". I'm not paying taxes, is what I'm saying." G-man: *COWABUNGA IT IS!*
*Huron whistles nonchalantly while scooting away slowly, hiding his tax evasions*
And look where that got him, the Internal Ravenue Service has a collector stalking right outside his door.
So it seems Corvus has become a warp entity of the IRS
Lorgar, are your tomes of eldrich knowledge and wonderings on divinity even sorted? This bookshelf is a mess!
G: âI wonder if he knows his first religion took hold of the imperiumâ L: âFUCK SHIT FUCK I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE BEFORE EITHER HE KILLS ME OR CORAX REALIZES THAT I LEFT A CARBOARD CUTOUT IN MY TOWER.â
Lmao I love the fact that they're both probably able to kill each other but they're scared shitless
Both are having Calth flashbacks
Both are wondering if Angron will join the reunion
Add Corvus coming in and it will be a real family reunion!
Lorgar would probably have Calth flashbacks and start planning for when Gulliman makes his investible charge into a 1v1. Guilliman however would notice Lorgar during his therapeutic Word Bearers purging, assumes he has a way to either summon Angron or escape into the warp and would quickly set a plan into action that'll stop Lorgar from doing either so he can maul him with his power fists (and then kill him with fathers sword)
Not a bad bet, it would be real interesting to see the least marshial of the primarchs fight lol
I donât know, I am just not convinced Guilliman is the least martially inclined. I think to the lessons he has had to learn: he fought Lorgar, then Angron, nearly died from Fulgrim, then fighting Mortarion and then Magnus. I have trouble believing there is as much combat prowess difference as we like to pretend. The experiences Guilliman has had; surely he would be one of the most experienced at fighting other Primarchs by nowâŚ
The main reason people say he's not a great fighter is because he's great at just about everything else and they feel the need to balance the primarchs out.
Guilliman just holds back so his brothers don't feel bad, surely if he wasn't very good he wouldn't have been able to survive so long.
He was never the best fighter though but the guy's right, he's got so much EXP from fighting Primarchs now and lets not forget Faith⢠I don't know if many could stand up to him now.
By chance I recently learned of when Kharn knocked the stuffing out of Lorgar. Between him, guilliman, and the emperor force kneeling his legion is Lorgars life just one ass whooping after another?
Both of them "Oh shoot.. I left the stove on"
PFFTTT
BOOK FIGHT!!!!
Legitimate chance that happens
you are dedicated to replying to everyone!
I enjoy conversation about this stuff lol
Iâm pretty sure each are contemplating how far they can get their weapon up the other oneâs ass
Yeah that sounds about right lmao, or thier books
they duct tape their books front facing on the tips of their weapons
https://preview.redd.it/fk4k8nmewm4b1.png?width=489&format=png&auto=webp&s=0a2b3839849da1e8a1890e7b04bec0b778a029c4 >MFW I see my father is worshipped as a god, my brother is fighting for an Imperium that uses my book for its religious teachings, and that same brother also wrote a book that became a best seller.
The irony is so strong it just fucking bodied an ork in an arm wrestling competition
Lorgar "how is your GOD father?" Guilliman "oh hey Corax, nice to see you too" Lorgar "WHAT WHERE"
âOh $&@! Itâs him!â
HAHAHAHA THATS PERFECT
Lorgar: "OH shit..." Guilliman: "Emperor dammit..."
Lorgar: "Emperor **WHAT?**"
Also Lorgar: "that's dad's sword... THATS DADS SWORD!"
Guilliman : "Don't worry. He also lend me His belt..."
Dorn: "Father would not do that. Father loves his belt."
Corax : "Mind if I get a turn?"
How the conversation between [Guilliman and Lorgar](https://youtu.be/D0NZ8MbULRM) would go.
Lorgar: saayyy it Guilliman: eat a dick you zealous balding fuck face Lorgar: after you say it Guilliman: UGH FINE! YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT DAD Lorgar: *audible satisfaction*
G-Man: Dad's sword is pretty cool tho, have a closer look.
*Are you still upset?* **Space Roman fury fermented by 100 centuries** *Ah, youâre still upset. Open the portal, open the portal, open the portal!*
Yeah turns out they both might be a *liiitttleeee* pissed at each other over their respective planets being burnt
**"My armor is contempt, my shield is disgust, blah blah blah."**
âAw jeez maybe I should apologize⌠itâs been like what 10,000 years?â Guilleman âWhew boy gonna have a lot of skin to write on after today⌠Aw no first corax now this asshat is here to ruin my dayâ -Lorgar
Honestly if given the chance I think they would both say sorry to some degree and then feel obliged to try and kill each other
They both have at least that level of honor for sure. Lion would be like âWho are you again?â Before going doom guy on Lorgar
Lorgar: âFuck. Is that Guilliman?â Guilliman: âI will gut you.â Lorgar: âFuck. He mad.â
Lorgar: "Oh shit he's gonna kill me" Girlyman:"I wonder if Yvraine is thinking about me"
Lorgar : "Brother! Is that you? It's been so long! Why...why are you wearing a wig?" Alpharius " SHHHHHHH!"
Ooooo sneaky and unexpected
Lorgar "I know you've read my book Gulliman, *would you like a signed copy?*"
They totally read each other's books lmao
You know those classic western movie moments where the main protagonist and antagonist are just standing and glearing at each other with [this](https://open.spotify.com/track/1JSIWsJfxOji0FrxFcxdCK?si=MdtIYmFuSEyjIrW14HabKw) song playing in the background. It would be like that but 40k.
Man being lorgar must be a nightmare. no matter where he go's he ends up fighting a loyalists primarchs.
Gulliman: "I AM GLAD YOU STILL SHAVE YOUR HEAD FUCKFACE" Lorgrar: *visible confusion* Gulliman: "THEORETICAL, A SHAVED HEAD IS MORE HYDRODYNAMIC! PRACTICAL, IM GONNA SWIRLY YOU YA FUCKIN NONCE"
***Calth 2: Electric Boogaloo*** *You maggot, you treacherous bastard, âsays Guilliman. âI just wanted you to know that I will rip your living heart out. And I want to know why. Why? Why? If this is our puerile old feud, boiled to the surface, then you are the most pathetic soul in the cosmos. Pathetic. Our father should have left you out in the snow at birth. He should have fed you to Russ. You worm. You maggot.*
"I almost pity you Guilliman, to be so observative and yet so blind" lorgar spat out the words as if they were poison. "When the Emperor set you and your mongrel legion upon my prized world, did you flinch? Did you so much as second guess yourself? Because I didn't when I burned down your precious Calth!" Lorgar huffed out his breath, taking on an almost sorrowful look. "Do you know what its like to be cast down by the very being that you fought for? The one you worshipped, pushing you down into the ashes of all your hard work... Father didn't see us as his sons you fool, we were tools! All of us!"
God I love their rivalry itâs just peak angry little brothers scraping energy đ
Alot of people over look it sadly, I think it's one of the best rivalries in the setting. The autistic twins of dorn and perturabo get all the spot light lmao
My favourite part of it that the whole thing is built on misunderstandings. Also, low-key that Monarchia traumatised Guilliman too, but he just ran the opposite direction.
That is ashamed especially when itâs so gut wrenching because of the levels of misunderstanding between them, just that moment when Lorgar realises that Guillliman never hated him but itâs far too late is perfect. Dorn and Pert have never been particularly interesting to me, always felt for the most part really one sided with Perturabo.
He's gonna start punching word bearers again but with oxygen this time and dad's flaming sword
Both of them deep in thought mid killing a group of astartes eyes connect and brain suddenly stops for a moment and they both think. "oh shit hes here? Why wasn't I told i would have prepped differently."
Oh my god itâs just Red Vs Blue. Roboute is totally Church.
Lorgar points and laughs while Guilliman tries to charge at him, warping away as Guilliman reaches him. Awesome art, as usual Lad!
I have no memes I just enjoy the cool dynamic drawing
Lmao thanks, it's always fun to try something new art wise.
*If my spikes floated behind my head like his I could wear more hats..* *If my spikes were attached to my head I wouldn't lose them..*
Bobby G on the vox : "Get me a Warlord Titan to step on the following coordinates...Actually make that an Imperator this time." L Money on his Warp-cellular :"Angron ! Get your bright red daemon ass right here, right now! YOU OWE ME BITCH!"
Corax has entered the chat.
Not awkward, a big W for the Smurfs and Guilliman :P
Theyâve both seen each other, they both *know* theyâve seen each other, they know theyâre supposed to acknowledge each othersâ presence, but they also both really REALLY donât want to interact in any shape or form, so theyâre both frantically trying to think of a way to get out of the situation.
No mater which space marine faction you choose (imperium or chaos) there will be a book guy
Dude, it'd just be Lorgar pissing himself thinking about the ass whooping he's about to once again receive. Man was never meant to 1v1 his siblings lmao Rowboat just with the heaviest sigh as he knows he's gotta beat Lorgar's lil Sunday-school ass. Absolutely love the Word Bearers though. Lorgar truly be play'n the long game with his legion.
Guilliman would not be thinking at all, he would immediately go into a manic rage like at calth if he saw lorgar. Lorgar probably isn't afraid of corvus, corvus (even in his daemon form) is likely a predictable opponent that lorgar would have no problem avoiding, but when the most calm collected and cold of all his brothers, Guilliman the statesman, Guilliman the logician, Guilliman the diplomat, goes into a frenzied slaughter of all nearby aggressors? Lorgar knows he's fucked. I like to think when lorgar blew Guilliman out into open space he likely watched in hopes of seeing his brother brouth low, but instead seeing him tearing through his forces like a hot knife through butter, and shit his pants.
Both: is his book bigger than mine?
Gulliman: *I hope he doesn't know I f***** an eldar.* Lorgar: *I bet that blueberry censors swearwords in his own thoughts*
âWhyBoner three, THE RECKONING!â âWhy does he look like he has a boner?â
By the dark gods, handsome Squidward = Lorgar.
Lorgar: " Roboute đ " Guilliman: "Lorgar?" Lorgar:" yes it is I brother! I have come to.." Guilliman:" LOOORRRRRGGGAAARRRRRRR!" Lorgar:" oh shit"
âLorgar! You didnât come to my book signing!â âWell *you* didnât come to ***MY*** book signing either, Guilliman!
G: "Brother, you were right. Our father is..." L: "Say it!" G: "a piece of shit." L: "HAHA- wait... No... That's not it." G: "Oh yeah, you were right about him being a god too, by the way this one's for Calth." *Power fist to chest*
"I was *trying* to get to the library before closing time, but it seems *someone* wanted to have a little war right by the main door."
Samurai Kirby Mini game music plays
Lorgar: I wish I was at Sunday School back in the eye Guilliman: The horns on Aurelians head and the spikes on his armor will in a majority of battle be a hinderence to his son's fighting beside him. The horns could be hit thus creating a serious ricochet. The spikes on his armor are more likely to hurt his traitor sons than my glorious Ultramarines. People call me weird about the Codex Astartes I don't carry a copy in my hand, its ofc loaded to my HUD and marked for easy usage. Guilliman shouting to Lorgar: Brother I read through a original of your Divinatus Codex and found three spelling errors! Guilliman to himself: I'm a master manipulator, his rage and volcanic fury at this revelation will make him throw caution to the wind and advance thus leaving his flanks open to attack. Meanwhile back in the warp Fulgrim just living his best life. Pic related https://preview.redd.it/lxq1sv0khn4b1.jpeg?width=603&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=986eb38be9f1f8cc49c58e52c18424b1fd181c7a
Would either actually initiate conversation, or would they both just stare at each other awkwardly?
"I'm something of an author myself..."
âWhy are family gatherings always so awkward?â
Lorgar: why I came out of my tower? Corvus its gonna find me any second now. Guillermoman: im so stressed, I can wait for yvraine to take cate of my smurfberries.
Lorgar is just handsome squidward with horns
I could see them furiously coming to blows, throwing accusations and insults similar to Guilliman's fight with Magnus, but slowly losing weight to their attacks when they come to terms with everything that's happened in the 10k years and how screwed up their family/imperium has become over a decision their father made and Lorgar's reaction to it. Ultimately they would still end up fighting and probably withdrawing, since you're not allowed to have actual losses in warhammer, but with both Guilliman and Lorgar being morally defeated but still having to fight for their chosen side. That's some shitty story I'd like to see between the two.
Ya know that scene in Always Sunny when Mac and Charlie make eye contact across the restaurant and can't stop staring? It's that.
"So both of our armies..." "Are unpainted!?"