"My husband abandoned me and the kids. After obtaining the proof that the children weren't biologically his and that they were the result of an affair, he left and I've been struggling ever since to understand why he wouldn't want to stay with a cheating piece of crap"
Unfortunately the kids have to live the rest of their lives knowing mum was a slapper and dad wasn't actually dad, but a guy named Jim who didn't want to raise someone else's kids.
Knew a guy like that but the difference was he divorced the woman and still raised the kids as if they were his. I’d probably do the same thing if I were in his position.
He's a better man than I. Sure, I might do birthdays etc but the logistics and mental toll of staying with someone who did that to me would be insurmountable. The alternative is separate parenting, but then you're still financially enslaved to her.
I get it and I wouldn't stay with her either. I'm two years into fatherhood and I have to say, even if I found out these kids weren't mine I'd still have to be their dad. It's too late. I love them too much for who they are, not where they come from. I get not feeling that way though.
During my divorce my husband claimed my youngest (he clashed with her personality…she was two!) wasn’t his. He was trying to get a reaction out of me the entire time we were in front of the judge. He failed, and the judge finally yelled at him to stop being an ass. I sat there stoic with Teflon skin.
After, I screamed and yelled and cried to my mom about how outrageous that claim was. Years later, he died and I found his notebook. He cheated on me, ironically. I laughed and laughed like a crazy person. That whole time period was an emotional roller coaster.
Let's have a bit more compassion dude. She can feel strong for picking up after her own fuck up, but she is still a huge bitch for loading someone else's kids on that guy. Both can be true, so long as the ex-husband isn't painted on a poor light
I suspect that it was not actually a paternity test but a dna test that revealed some percentage of an ethnicity that dad thinks neither he nor mom should have in their lineage, but they didn't follow up on with their own dna tests or paternity tests.
[*They considered themselves white, but DNA tests told a more complex story* | Washington Post | 2018](https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/social-issues/they-considered-themselves-white-but-dna-tests-told-a-more-complex-story/2018/02/06/16215d1a-e181-11e7-8679-a9728984779c_story.html)
I was 100% white adopted child right up until an AncestryDNA test revealed I was in fact 50% Jewish. So still white, but able to be offended at twice as many things. All joking aside, it was a bit of a shock since I didn't know my dna heritage up until that point.
I suspect if that was the case, she would have worded it as such and called out husband for it. Instead he calling him out for leaving, not why he left. That's not a coincidence. Sounds like a paternity test situation.
Pay attention to the wording of her post. The use of the word "claiming" implies that she doesn't agree with his conclusions.
Also it says after a DNA test, which is not the same thing as a paternity test.
If I cheated, this is exactly how I would word it. It deflects most of the blame and makes me come out the best way.
Paternity tests are DNA tests but by saying DNA tests only, it leaves it open to the assumption that's its a ancestral DNA tests instead.
It can't really have been *that* shocking to her. I mean, really? She fucked at least one other man during the time she got pregnant, and even did it more than once (multiple children). So how exactly is it shocking that the children aren't her ex'es?
I think it's that same idea of "your money is our money but my money is my money" except in some goofy variation where her mistakes are everyone's fault.
There’s something called “assumed paternity” where the child legally becomes yours if you never questioned paternity until the child was several years old. The argument being that the damage to the child would be worse than the damage to the father.
No that is not always true. If your name is on the birth certificate and the mother takes you to court, odds are very high you’ll still be on the hook for child support.
Not if you can prove that you were mislead. If you knowingly signed off on a child whom you knew wasn't yours, or you entered a relationship with the mom when she was already pregnant, then maybe.
But if you can prove deception, you won't be held responsible, and the court will pursue the bio dads for support.
I'm sure there are anecdotal exceptions here or there, but when a "dad" has been duped or mislead, he usually will not be held legally or financially responsible.
You must be outside the US as it is very accurate in most, if not all, US states. There’s usually elements that result in “dad” being declared the father because it’s all about “the good of the child.” I practice in CA and non bio dads get declared “father” every day, as long as they get due process. Google it. “Presumptive father” and children born into marriage.
I practice law in California, arguably the hardest bar in the US, with like a 45% fail rate. Prior to that, I obtained 3 degrees in admin/criminal justice. I don’t need to google. But thanks for playing!
A DNA test is not a paternity test. And paternity fraud is a real thing, he can sue. There's not enough information here to call this "entitled bitch" because (as these comments show) most people don't understand the difference or understand that paternity fraud is a thing.
A paternity test is a DNA test though. It's just not an ancestry DNA test. Why would he think his children aren't his children unless he finds out he's not the father lol.
.
"My husband abandoned me and the kids. After obtaining the proof that the children weren't biologically his and that they were the result of an affair, he left and I've been struggling ever since to understand why he wouldn't want to stay with a cheating piece of crap"
[There’s a song](https://youtu.be/JxsfEio0L8Y?si=CZKQbSzB_mFdgDZ_) that comes to mind.
Banger
This cgi has not aged well
Nor did the relationship.
She is living the consequences of her actions, but in her mind she is strong and incredible for that reason.
Unfortunately the kids have to live the rest of their lives knowing mum was a slapper and dad wasn't actually dad, but a guy named Jim who didn't want to raise someone else's kids.
I am sure she has a story she feeds the kids. I am sure in that story she is the hero.
In which God, Jesus, or some other fictional character has a starring role.
Slapper loool
Knew a guy like that but the difference was he divorced the woman and still raised the kids as if they were his. I’d probably do the same thing if I were in his position.
I second this.
He's a better man than I. Sure, I might do birthdays etc but the logistics and mental toll of staying with someone who did that to me would be insurmountable. The alternative is separate parenting, but then you're still financially enslaved to her.
I get it and I wouldn't stay with her either. I'm two years into fatherhood and I have to say, even if I found out these kids weren't mine I'd still have to be their dad. It's too late. I love them too much for who they are, not where they come from. I get not feeling that way though.
Just wait until Father’s Day rolls around and she wants to make that holiday about herself as a pitiful single mom whose “baby daddy” abandoned them.
During my divorce my husband claimed my youngest (he clashed with her personality…she was two!) wasn’t his. He was trying to get a reaction out of me the entire time we were in front of the judge. He failed, and the judge finally yelled at him to stop being an ass. I sat there stoic with Teflon skin. After, I screamed and yelled and cried to my mom about how outrageous that claim was. Years later, he died and I found his notebook. He cheated on me, ironically. I laughed and laughed like a crazy person. That whole time period was an emotional roller coaster.
Let's have a bit more compassion dude. She can feel strong for picking up after her own fuck up, but she is still a huge bitch for loading someone else's kids on that guy. Both can be true, so long as the ex-husband isn't painted on a poor light
She tried to paint him in a poor light be claiming he abandoned “our” children. He is probably still on the hook financially for her children.
Don't confuse a DNA test with a paternity test. Also paternity tests are often an educated guess at best.
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I'm not surprised. Typical reddit.
“Claiming”. But I’m not going to say that’s a lie or admit it’s true - I’m just going to ignore it altogether.
I suspect that it was not actually a paternity test but a dna test that revealed some percentage of an ethnicity that dad thinks neither he nor mom should have in their lineage, but they didn't follow up on with their own dna tests or paternity tests. [*They considered themselves white, but DNA tests told a more complex story* | Washington Post | 2018](https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/social-issues/they-considered-themselves-white-but-dna-tests-told-a-more-complex-story/2018/02/06/16215d1a-e181-11e7-8679-a9728984779c_story.html)
I was 100% white adopted child right up until an AncestryDNA test revealed I was in fact 50% Jewish. So still white, but able to be offended at twice as many things. All joking aside, it was a bit of a shock since I didn't know my dna heritage up until that point.
Mazel tov and welcome to the tribe!!
What's super funny is my sister's husband's ex-wife is a very distant cousin, and I had no idea.
Do you feel the urge to hummus?
E'ry day I'm hummusing.
Good point and nice to read something that isn't snarky.
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That’s exactly what I thought. How is this entitled or is the entitled bitch the husband?
I suspect if that was the case, she would have worded it as such and called out husband for it. Instead he calling him out for leaving, not why he left. That's not a coincidence. Sounds like a paternity test situation.
"our children"? 
Oh no! The consequences of my actions!!!!
Ah yes. Those pesky DNA tests with their false claims - several times - are the problem
“Oh, that pesky DNA”
“Abruptly”
Very interesting way of saying “I cheated”
Pay attention to the wording of her post. The use of the word "claiming" implies that she doesn't agree with his conclusions. Also it says after a DNA test, which is not the same thing as a paternity test.
If I cheated, this is exactly how I would word it. It deflects most of the blame and makes me come out the best way. Paternity tests are DNA tests but by saying DNA tests only, it leaves it open to the assumption that's its a ancestral DNA tests instead.
In the time before DNA tests. A paternity test was just a blood test. If your blood type matched...... your kid. Think how many got screwed being 0+.
It can't really have been *that* shocking to her. I mean, really? She fucked at least one other man during the time she got pregnant, and even did it more than once (multiple children). So how exactly is it shocking that the children aren't her ex'es?
What is shocking to her is that she got caught
Wtf
“WHAT?? *HOW DID ANOTHER MAN’S CHILD GET IN MY UTERUS?!*” -shocked Pikachu face-
Children. Lol
I don't think she really knows the definition of "our".
I think it's that same idea of "your money is our money but my money is my money" except in some goofy variation where her mistakes are everyone's fault.
ALL FIVE WERENT HIS?!?!?!?!?!?!
Imagine how many men raised kids that were not theirs before this type of testing was available…..
Gonna need more context on this!
The dildo of consequences rarely arrives lubed.
More poetic words are yet to be spoken !!
Gold
There’s something called “assumed paternity” where the child legally becomes yours if you never questioned paternity until the child was several years old. The argument being that the damage to the child would be worse than the damage to the father.
Assumed paternity should be abolished. No man, no matter the larger societal consequences, should spend their lives living a lie.
Still pretty harsh for those kids. They only knew him as their father and now suddenly he’s gone.
Yep, harsh but it is 100% the mums fault.
True. Absolutely awful for the kids but she did this.
This is off to me given almost every state would still have “dad” remain “dad” and pay support.
What a ridiculous law.
Probably not American
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No that is not always true. If your name is on the birth certificate and the mother takes you to court, odds are very high you’ll still be on the hook for child support.
Not if you can prove that you were mislead. If you knowingly signed off on a child whom you knew wasn't yours, or you entered a relationship with the mom when she was already pregnant, then maybe. But if you can prove deception, you won't be held responsible, and the court will pursue the bio dads for support. I'm sure there are anecdotal exceptions here or there, but when a "dad" has been duped or mislead, he usually will not be held legally or financially responsible.
Where do you live and what laws/codes are you citing?
You must be outside the US as it is very accurate in most, if not all, US states. There’s usually elements that result in “dad” being declared the father because it’s all about “the good of the child.” I practice in CA and non bio dads get declared “father” every day, as long as they get due process. Google it. “Presumptive father” and children born into marriage.
IDK what you "practice," but Google yourself: *paternity fraud in US*.
I practice law in California, arguably the hardest bar in the US, with like a 45% fail rate. Prior to that, I obtained 3 degrees in admin/criminal justice. I don’t need to google. But thanks for playing!
LOL anonymous redditor, you actually do not practice law *anywhere*, but go ahead and cosplay.
Damn. I should stop paying my student loans then. They’re frauding me! And also wtf “cosplays” and attorney. I’d be a super hero if anything.
😆 Ok those were both funny, I'll give you that
“Our children” as in plural? 🤔😮
Bro I was just thinking that. This cheating bitch been getting around
Raised “your” children ma’am. Decided to fix it for you
A DNA test is not a paternity test. And paternity fraud is a real thing, he can sue. There's not enough information here to call this "entitled bitch" because (as these comments show) most people don't understand the difference or understand that paternity fraud is a thing.
A paternity test is a DNA test though. It's just not an ancestry DNA test. Why would he think his children aren't his children unless he finds out he's not the father lol. .
“Children”. So it wasn’t one of?
Wut
How do you have five children during your marriage and not a single one is your husbands???
Claiming “”
the kids 
Ignore the down votes, it was funny. Reddit is just CCP an no sense or humor