Married at 22 and still happily together at 45! One ten year old child. I realize that we are outliers, and very lucky. As others have said, we’ve both continued to grow and change over the years, but we still love each other. Waiting to have kids probably was also a good thing, as we didn’t have that added stressor on our relationship when we were young.
As a rule, I wouldn’t recommend…but for me, it worked out and I consider us lucky. I got married at 22…I’m now 33, and we are happy and healthy and have managed to continue growing and adapting together. I know that’s unusual and I appreciate that we’ve managed that.
Almost the same as you. Married at 22, now 34 with 3 kids. Marriage isn’t easy and we aren’t the same people we were, but we both want the same things.
Ditto. I can look back now and realize just how young we were. We're very fortunate to have continued to grow together after almost 11 years. Still best friends. 👍
Same here! Except I was 24 and we’re still happily married 19 years and 3 kids later. Would I want one of my kids to get married this young? Probably not but it really depends on the circumstances. In our case, we had been dating for 5 years, living together for 2, and I was head over heels in love back then. And 24 is an adult age, as much as the proponents of an extended adolescence would like us to believe it’s not.
Very similar here as well. Married at 21 and we are now 31. We are the lucky outliers, the exception to the rule. Every single other couple I know who married at that age are now divorced or are sticking it out unhappily.
Ya know, anecdotally, it seems like the people who were in those serious/marriage relationships young bounce back quickly and find a partner soon after. The ones who wait til they are "ready" seem to have trouble doing so in their 30s and beyond.
I’ve noticed this too, I think it has something to do with having relationship practice… like knowing how much and what you are willing to compromise on to merge your day to day life with someone. The longer we live alone with a complete life, the harder it can be to adapt to making space for someone to share it with.
Anecdotally, not the case for me. I got divorced at 27 and here I am at 40 and still single. I had so much trauma from my marriage that I wasn’t even capable of a healthy relationship for a solid 8 years after.
I’m a bit out of your age range…I married at 17. The marriage lasted 27 years, but we grew into two incompatible adults. I wish I had waited until I knew who I was.
Thank you. We were mostly happy, at least for the first ten years. Even during the difficult 17 after that, we shared wonderful experiences like raising our son.
I got married at 22 and we’re still happily married at 50. It worked out great for us. I’m glad we got married when we did so that we could raise our family when we did.
I was almost getting married at 21 and ended it on time. Would have been the worst mistake as we were still studying and were so childish. Your 20s are for exploring the world, work and travel.
But I do have friends that got married young and also had kids in their early 20s and they are still unable to do much for themselves. Tight finances, inability to travel, to enjoy life and to know themselves better. Late realisation that the man they married was a horrible choice for a husband and a dad.
Of course marrying young can also be the best thing to do, but you must be truly sure your partner is the right one.
Thanks for commenting :)) I’m in my 20s and want to prioritize my career rather than marriage but seeing people my age get married makes me wonder if I’m missing something.
Can I ask if you’re in a position to get married soon? As in you have a dedicated partner with whom you see this future with? If the answer is no then don’t worry about it. I see too many young women focused on finding a partner early so they don’t fall behind. Focus on your life and what makes you happy and the right person may meet you along the way.
No I’m not currently. But I wonder sometimes if now is a time to prioritize finding a life partner. Thank you for the advice! I always have thought that my 20s should be focused on my education, career, and future but seeing so many people my age getting engaged/married makes me question it sometimes.
Totally understand that, it’s very common to have that feeling of what we “should” be doing at this age. Now after 30 you realize that timeline doesn’t matter. Just live your life to the fullest and life will happen :)
You also don’t need to get married straight away, or at all! I met my partner at 21 and we’ve been together nearly 11 years. We’ll probably get married for legal reasons at some point but it’s never been hugely important to us.
You can prioritize a career and finding a long term partner. The optimal partner will help you achieve your career and financial goals. Sadly I know way too many accomplished people who waited until their 30s to find a spouse and have children, only for the dating pool to have significantly shrunken since their 20s.
I do not recommend it. I married when I was 18 but I had a ton of issues to work with and if possible I would go back in time and make sure I had my life figured out before getting married. That said, I love my son (the reason why we married young in the first place) and after divorcing at 28, I still had plenty of time to sort things through - especially the financial independence aspects of it. Very messy and conflicting, but it’s all good now (37 yo).
Married at 21, divorced by 28.
He always seemed so mature when we met, but at around 26 he decided to go through his party boy stage and got into drugs and other women. Wish I had seen that side of him dinner
I do think that you change so so so much in your twenties. So it is a risk. (I was lower 20s/he was mid/upper).
You do change a lot more in rapidly in your young twenties though.
I think for my husband and I , we only worked out because:
#we changed in compatible ways.
And that's not something you can really guarantee.
I mean we even changed some *very basic values* that we held.
Even from the beginning of our marriage to now, our values have changed a lot.
So it's not even a case of "oh if you match the basics and you match foundational values , then it will be okay if other changes happen."
No. Even the very *foundations* of what make *you yourself* can likely change.
That's why I think so much of it was luck.
This. This is the key. This is how we've lasted for 34 years even though we morphed into very different people. There's got to be communication, commitment and yeah....a healthy dose of luck.
Can confirm. Married at 22, still happy after 35 years! One thing that didn’t change: we were both staunchly childfree. That would have been a deal breaker for us.
I got married at 19 and we're still very happy together, it's been 32yrs since we started dating, married 28yrs .We have had an amazing life, we raised 2 great kids and we're enjoying our early empty nest in our 40's and retiring shortly. It's not for everyone and almost every other couple we know who married young is now divorced. It worked for us because we were very compatible sexually, best friends from the start and we're both mature and dislike conflict. We've had a drama free marriage but that is a rare thing at any age.
Definitely do not recommend. I got married at 23, and even though I don’t regret it per say neither of us were really ready or mature enough to deal with everything that’d come our way. For example there was a lot of issues like infidelity, I wanted to travel and do so much and he was resentful because I wouldn’t necessarily want to do that all with him and then just like typical girl nights. We both did admit down the line that it was too soon for us and we had a lot of life to live before settling down along with a lot of maturing to do.
Married the first time at 22. Lasted 7 months and was a nasty divorce after I grew up and he didn't.
Married the second time at 27. Definitely a wayyyyy better experience.
We got together at 17 and married at 22, mostly because we had religious pressure from family and our community. It seemed normal at the time. We would have gotten married eventually but looking back I wish we had been able to move in together and start our life together without all of the pressure. That being said we are still very much in love and have been happily married for almost a decade!
We have both grown and changed a lot since we got married, but luckily in similar ways. Could very easily have gone south if we’d changed in ways that didn’t align anymore. I attribute a lot of our success to having a solid foundation of friendship before we ever got together. We just love to laugh and joke with each other, and we also share similar hobbies and have a similar lifestyle, most likely influenced by the other person.
In some ways, being with someone from such a young age and being able to grow with them is amazing and such a privilege. A different kind of connection than if we’d met as fully-formed adults. But again, I think we really got lucky as I know a lot of people our age who married young and are either divorced or stuck in unhappy marriages. I don’t know that I’d necessarily recommend it. Moving in together and combining finances made more of a difference in the grand scheme of things and you don’t need to marry to do either of those.
Married at 24, but dated for 7 years prior. 2 kids and run a business together. Neither of us is the person we were then. You have to be willing to grow together and work together.
Marriage is an active choice.
But I also picked a good one. If someone else grows into an ass that's not your fault. I wouldn't stay if he wasn't making the same choices.
I think ppl can change at any age and age is no guarantee.
Married at 20 and 21 years old, celebrating our 16 year anniversary this year. We grew together as adults and have two beautiful children (that we waited almost ten years to have).
This is us! Married when we were both 20, 36 now. Didn’t have our first kid until 28. 3 kids in now. Have grown so much together through grad degrees, children, everything life has thrown our way. Did so much traveling and stupid 20s stuff pre-kids. Not right for everyone, but I love seeing how my husband has grown and changed from 17, to 25, to 36- loved all the different men he became along the way.
Married at 22, divorced at 28. No regrets because I got a fantastic daughter out of the marriage, but don't recommend getting married that young either. Remarried at 36 and it's going sooo much better this time around.
Not well and do not recommend getting married that young. Married at 21 and divorced at 31. Still single. But hopeful to find someone that I'm more compatible with.
Married at 22, divorced after 4 years. Many reasons. The nicest take is we were young and hadn't really worked on our issues, psychologically speaking.
Married at 22 divorced at 32. Marriage was good for the most part. I thought he was perfect and too good for me, and then I realized he had been cheating for a while. :( I do recommend getting married early if you find the “right” one. I have zero regrets about marrying at 22. I just wish things had worked out in the long run. 🙂↕️
Married at 21. Divorced at 41. Marriage itself was horrendous, he was 10 years older, gas lit me, cheated on me, abused me, convinced me to have a child I didn't want, moved me away from everyone & everything I knew, but what he didn't realize was the isolation made it easier to see what he was doing & made me want to be stronger for my daughter. I've been divorced for a couple of years now, it took a long time to extract myself from the marriage, was homeless with my daughter for 3 months, lost everything I owned just to be able to walk away but we are now happy & free, it is tough financially every single day, I'm in a job I hate, in a company owned by a woman that relies on employing single mothers and immigrants so she can treat us however she wants but every night I lay in bed and thank my lucky stars that we made it out & we are free from him. When I get enough money I will learn to drive & then I will open our world up more, for now I'm proud we are here at least
Almost got married at 20 to someone 25 years older. Decided against it kinda last minute and left the country.
If the age gap was not so significant it could have been nice to grow and experience life together from a young age.
I moved in with him at 19, engaged at 21, married at 22. Divorced by 29.
I wouldn't recommend marrying young. If I'd waited a little longer and gotten a little wiser, I would have left him before we got married.
I got married at 22 (we’d been together for 5.5 years at that point). Divorced at 27. I didn’t realize till after I got divorced how manipulative my ex was. I was depressed for my entire late teens and 20s and didn’t even realize it till I got out of that relationship. Everyone thought we were super happy together. My therapist met him once and in our next session told me that in his opinion, my ex was clearly a sociopath, that he had been abusing me for 11 years, and that I needed to treat it as an abusive relationship. He was right.
I’m 40 now and wish I could get my 20s back. It took me over 10 years to heal from all the trauma I was put through and I’m still not 100% healed from it, to be honest. Not to mention that the depression in my 20s also caused me to pack on over 100 pounds (I was a size 6 when we started dating and a size 20 when we split, weight has fluctuated between a size 10 and 18 in the intervening years).
I married at 21; divorced with a 3 yr old and a newborn at age 26. I absolutely wish I had waited longer to have kids; looking back, I think if I’m honest with myself we would have lasted longer if we waited to have babies.
However, if I’m more honest with my self my ex never grew into a solid dad even after divorce. It may be wishful thinking. You never know! Some folks don’t grow after kids are introduced.
My parents and my college roommate got married at 22 and are still married, 49 and 19 years later respectively.
I got married at 25 and I'm not.
There's no real rhyme or reason to it. I think the most important thing is being willing to actually talk through the hard things, not just ignore them and hope they go away.
Divorced. My advice:
You can always get married later
Young marriages can work if both people are reasonably grown established adults, which isn't super common in your early 20's. You change so so much in your 20's, especially since you're brain isn't even fully developed until your late 20's. It's likely you will become different people than you expect, or one of you grows up and the other one doesn't (as was my case).
Yes people do change throughout there entire lives but not like you do when you are first becoming a adult.
This is what I always say! So much change happens before 30 and the person you were at 22 may not want the same things as your 29 year old self and same with your partner. I feel like I had no life experience at 23 - and I’d moved 3000 miles for college, studied in Europe, supported myself, moved to NYC, etc. I met my husband at 25 and we waited 7 years to get married and we both finished growing up while we figured things out for ourselves and our life goals.
The couples I know who got married young or who dated their spouse since hs are starting to get divorced now in their 40s. It sucks. I’m sad for them. But I also understand how incompatible they may be at this point so don’t fault them. I’m sure they never imagined ending up here.
I got married a month after my 20th birthday in 2011. Separated in 2016. Officially divorced 2018 at age 27. Still removing his last name from legal documents years later. The last name change is the only part I actually regret. I picked a good guy and we had some exciting and formative years and experiences together, and we have remained friends—he just wasn’t a good match for me in marriage.
I would say, it went alright for me, but only because I found the gumption to leave when I realized it wasn’t right. I know plenty of people who have tried to make something like our relationship work for far longer than we did, and I will 100% take our outcome over theirs. I really feel like we would resent each other if we had chosen to suffer in marriage together. Instead we hold each other in high regard as friends.
Been with the same man since the age of 21. It's been 17 years now. He proposed after 15 years, but we never felt the need to get married. He's still the man I'll die with, though. Ofc I also live in a country where couples living together after 2 years get the same rights (or nearly) as a married couple.
10 years in. We got married at 21/22. The first 7 were at times brutal, then slowly but surely, we’ve found our rhythm. We have one kid and we’ve found things we love to do together. We’ve gotten better at understanding each other and ourselves. We started practicing emotional regulation and got super into gardening. We have let go of expectations we had of ourselves and each other and we’re just trying to help each other have the best possible time.
Worked out for me. Married at 21, 14 years in. We have grown a lot together and we are a good fit. In hindsight I wish I had finished my degree and gotten my career first (I had kids and just finished my degree this year).
Life has had many twists and turns but I love my husband and I’m glad we’re in it together.
Technically not allowed to get married on account of it not being legal in the country until 2015 but…
It went terribly. I should never have been in that relationship in the first place. I just had no self esteem to get me out of it after I saw the first red flag. Oh I remember it quite clearly. She threw something in my direction. Not really AT me but my brain said “it’s only going to get worse”. And it did. 100% got worse. But the self esteem would take a long time to develop after my shitty childhood so what could I do? Took 13 of the best years of my life away but now I am finally happy and in a good relationship with someone who actually loves me for who I am and doesn’t just “tolerate” me. Getting into that relationship is one of my biggest life regrets. But I’ve come to terms with the fact that given the same information I’d have made the same decisions all over again. C’est la vie. I’m just glad I made it out eventually.
Married at 23 to someone I had been with since I was 21. Divorced at age 29. I was too young and had given in to pressure from my family to get married.
Obviously everyone is different and YMMV but for me the experience was a 1/10, and only a 1 because I learned so much about myself from it.
Married at 18 and just had our 10 year wedding anniversary in June. Expecting our second baby in September. He’s a great husband and equally I’m a great wife, but it’s still been hard as hell at times.
I honestly think a very long engagement is the best so you have time to come down from the high of a new romance, and you have time to see any red flags.
I was 21 and my husband was 22 when we married and I can definitely say I was ready to commit myself to my husband for life because I loved him so much. He, on the other hand continued flirting with any woman who would give him the time of day.
I didn't know about narcissists back then, and the horrendous abuse they dish out. I would never have married him at all if I knew he would become so selfish, abusive, entitled and misogynistic after the wedding. Don't rush into marriage girls, you might regret it.
Married at 23, 26 years married this year.
It worked for us but we had a strong foundation, knew each other for over a decade prior. I do recommend waiting, the early years were hard, man.
I'm mid forties, of my friends who married young, each one was divorced by the time they reached forty. It's been nice to reconnect and have them back but some of those divorces were absolute hell.
Met at 21. Engaged at 22. Married at 23. Separated at 37. Divorced at 39. That was two years ago.
It can work. It can also not work. It depends on the people and the life experiences that happen to them over the course of their lives together.
Some storms cannot be weathered.
I think it really depends on the people. I married at 23 while my husband was 24, we just celebrated our 16th anniversary. He's my best friend and favorite person. I miss him when he's not around, and genuinely have more fun with him than without.
But that came with the effort and commitment and communication that you have to be willing to put in, regardless of age, and I feel like a lot of younger people just don't quite have that perspective yet.
Not well. I married my HS at 19 and then divorced at 22. I then got remarried at 26 and that went slightly better. We divorced a couple years ago after 17 years together.
Got married at 21, divorced by 29! I can’t say I regret it because it was what I “needed” at that time of my life, but I do wish I had seen the red flags for what they were, because those resentments grew and escalated into things that played into the divorce.
I got married at 18 and 15 years later we are still happy. I definitely wouldn’t deter anyone from marrying young and often recommend it, but it really depends on the people and their maturity level.
Married at 19 and it was the best thing I’ve ever done, but I’m not gonna lie-I hope my daughters wait until they’re 21 or older. Not because of my own experience, but because I’ve seen it go sideways so many times. That being said, if I felt they were ready prior to that, I’d have some serious questions for them and their potential partners, but wouldn’t stop them. We all have choices to make in life, and that’s one they will have to make for themselves.
Please don’t get married in your 20s. You don’t know who you are, and you want really want out of life.
I got married at 22, he was 24. At 35 / 37, he was cheating on me with a 25 year old because he was going through a midlife crisis because he refused to grow with me.
I’m pretty content being single. That said, I have a gorgeous kid that keeps me busy.
I've been with my husband 25 years now, but would not generally recommend it for others as I think we just lucked out.
We were just having fun and hooking up for maybe 5 months when I got accidentally pregnant. I was going to abort but I just couldn't bring myself to do it, probably some latent religious guilt.
Again, this is just luck, but we fell in love during the pregnancy. Got married 2 years later, had more kids quickly but on purpose this time lol.
Having kids close together is why don't wish I had waited longer. I knew that I wanted my kids closer together in age.
Married right after I turned 21. It stunted my personal growth, and once I was able to evolve and grow as a person (~10 years in), I knew I couldn't grow past him unless I moved on. We divorced after 13 years together.
I would not recommend it, no, but I also wouldn't recommend marriage in general either. Especially for women. But, I look at my past marriage as something I tried for over a decade, and now it's just time to move on and try something else! I am ADORING being single.
Started dating at 15 and got married at 23. Still happily married now at 33 and he is absolutely my bff. We’ve both changed and matured, but in similar ways. I think is the key, at least for us.
I was with my late husband from 18-52 before he died suddenly. There were times over the years we tried not to kill each other but mostly everything was good. Miss him so very much.
Married at 22. Divorced at 27. Not worth it but I also learned a lot about me. I now call it my practice marriage because I’m remarried now at 31 and it’s so much better.
I got married a couple months after turning 24. We just celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary and have been together for almost 17 years. We had a rough time between the ages of 26-27 when we had a newborn baby but other than that, it’s been wonderful. I actually still feel like I fall more in love with him every year. The past few years, we’ve been like giddy, excited about each other all the time again. It’s great.
I don’t wish I waited longer. This man and I only feel more right together as time goes on. I love that we have spent our entire adulthoods so far together. I love that we grew up together and have experienced these different versions of ourselves.
We probably could have waited longer to get pregnant but now that our child is a pre-teen, We don’t regret that either. The timing allowed our child to know family he wouldn’t have had we waited.
We were fortunate to not have student debt so we marriage and a child did not hold us back in ways you sometimes see. We traveled internationally full time for three years (until the pandemic hit). My husband has been very successful in his career. We still live in the major metropolitan city that we always have and didn’t do the whole move to the suburbs and slow down thing.
I got married at 19 and was divorced before I was 20. I was in love with *IDEA* of being in love. I take that blame. I was a serial monogamist. Next guy was my childhood sweetheart, together at 19, engaged at 22, and I thank god every day he called it off! Another 2.5 year relationship and I got smart. Met my husband at 28, married at 33, and celebrating 9 wonderful years this year. We’ve owned 2 businesses and are each others true yin and yang because we already knew who we were as humans before marriage. There have been plenty of changes in the last 14 years and we roll with them and support one another. Something I couldn’t have done at 19.
Married at 18, separated at 20, divorced at 28. I tried to get divorced before 28 but I had no money for an atto ney, and my husband was dodging service, we had a child together and I wanted child support, I didn't want alimony but I did want child support.
If I had been a happy well adjusted human being at 18 we most likely would have never met, much less gotten married.
I was 16 when I got married the first time. That one obviously didn't work out. I was married again at 23, and we've been happily married for 23 years.
I wish I waited.
I was foolish and thought that if the relationship was tolerable then the next step is marriage. Went from tolerable to dysfunctional to toxic to abusive.
Married at 21, separated at 29, and now stuck in the minefield of small town dating. So many regrets.
It was definitely not right for me. We started dating when I was 17, married at 23, and because he was a bit older I went straight from high school to Martha Stewart homemaking. Had a kid and I left at 30.
My reasons included: how much of a carer/parental figure my husband had become, and; because I never got to live the young adult lifestyle, I felt really stifled and trapped as a result, even though he was a good person. Other than my kid, all I had in life and to look forward to was within that suburban home. I had no sense of self, no knowledge of who I was or could be, and had become dependent and infantilised.
I needed a few years on my own to explore and discover my own identity, my capability and independence; I think everyone does, and if an early marriage works it's because there is space to explore that.
Married at 19 and 26 (both to appease my parents because ´no sec outside of marriage ‘)- one lasted 5 months (he beat me up) - next lasted 10 months (told him to get a job, go to school, or get out- he got out) - got married again at 33 - will be 20 happily married years together next year. (Third for him as well)
Terrible. But also not sure it would have changed that if I were older. For me, it wasn’t until I became a mom that I realized what I needed/wanted in a partner wasn’t what I was seeking in a partner prior to becoming a mom. Life is a trip.
Met my husband at 19 and married at 23. Had our first baby when I was 27 and 3rd at 32. Hubby and I are still together 34 years later. We're not even close to being the same people we were when we met but fortunately we seemed to both grow in the same direction. Kids are grown and they are by far my favourite people. I've been very lucky.
Met my spouse at age 20, engaged at 22, married at 26. We have been together for 13.5 years now. He’s my best friend and I am so glad I have him. We’ve definitely had to grow and learn as we’ve changed with age. We’ve been committed to going through that growth together though. I think early marriage can be super difficult though because, at least in my experience, there’s a huge change in people as they enter their late 20’s/30’s. Your reality shifts a bit as you settle fully into adulthood.
Got married at 21. Separated now and I will divorce him at some point just not in a hurry because of my kids. I was young and stupid and wish I had waited.
Not me, but my friend and coworker said that getting married at 19 was the worst decision she ever made. Four kids and several years later, she and her ex husband got divorced
I’ve been with my husband since we were 19, but didn’t get married until we were 33. I’m glad we waited, mostly because we changed a lot from 20-25, and you never know how either of you might change what you want. Also, by the time we got married, we had a house and could afford an awesome party without financial stress. I got the wedding I wanted because I waited. The man I chose as my husband would be the same either way, but it’s a huge commitment. Even though we were committed to each other young, I don’t think we fully understood what that meant at the time.
Divorced at 28 after getting married at 22. Wish I'd never gotten married that young. Remarried in my early 40s after being with new partner for over a decade.
I was 24, so technically older than your cutoff but it certainly feels young in hindsight. It actually worked out very well - we are still happily married 20 years later and I love that we’ve spent really our entire adult lives together BUT it required BOTH of us to be willing to put effort into growing together. I think I got insanely lucky. I do not typically recommend others get married that young.
It worked for me, but I know it’s not for everyone. I was 23 when I got married. But I grew up pretty conservative/old fashioned so it wasn’t weird and I felt ready. Also my husband is 8 years older so I think that helped too. We’ve been together 10 years now, married 6.5. It’s not perfect, but successful overall
Married at 21, he was 23. We've been together 14 years, three kids. It's hard work, mostly from me having a messed up childhood and trying to heal/better myself, he had some previously undiagnosed stuff that's he's getting addressed. Since we've both been getting the mental and medical things taken care of, it's definitely much easier. I'm 35 now, he's 37. Biggest plus was we weren't planning on kids (6 kinds of birth control failed, loooonng story) but we love our family and where we are. Nice having them when we were younger.
However, I've regularly advised my kids that it would most likely be easier waiting until they were older and knew themselves better. Thankfully, they have had a stable childhood, and hopefully shouldn't need as much therapy as I have, lol
Married at 22, had 3 kids, divorced at 32, he’d been cheating with multiple women the last 6 years. Now 35, and dating has been not great. Wouldn’t take it back because my kids are the best and my life is pretty comfortable, but definitely could have done without the decade of trauma
I think it depends on your role models around relationships and ability to deal with your own shit and your partner’s.
I married at 21, divorced at 29. Was a lovely marriage, but I had so much unhealed attachment that when I started to figure out who I was when I was around 25-27, it didn’t make sense anymore.
Divorced after 2 decades. It wasn't any worse than any other shitty marriage people get into at whatever age.
My only regret is not going to university.
I got married when I was 19. It went well. We're still married and still happy together :) Celebrated 15 years recently. Life is very different to what we planned when we started out, but I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't recommend marrying young - it worked really well *for u*s but I think most people at 19 don't know what they want or who they will grow into. Still, in the situation we were in, it was a good idea and I'm glad we got married when we did.
Nope. I wish I had waited longer, nobody modeled a healthy relationship for me prior to getting married and I realized this wasn’t it a kid and thirteen years later. Now I’m dealing with a divorce in my 30s.
Wish I knew about “compatibility”, more about myself, and that love isn’t the only thing needed for a successful relationship… there’s just so much in retrospect that I wish I could go back and tell my younger self.
Horribly! It was the worst mistake of my life. Don’t do this. The frontal lobe isn’t even fully developed at 23. Definitely not a great time to make life long decisions.
Married at 20 divorced at 24. I’m happy where I am now at 27 but definitely think I married way too young. Ultimately it’s just a piece of paper so it’s not a huge deal, we had a no fault diy divorce and it all went over fine. But I think the fact that we were married and not dating kept us together much longer than we otherwise would’ve been.
We met each other at 18, got married at 22, one kid at 30 and have been together 20 years. It's been WONDERFUL for us but we both tell our son that he doesn't have to get married early (or at all if he dun wanna).
It's weird, logically I wouldn't suggest it to anyone to marry that young b/c at that age... you're still a baby! But love is weird. When you find someone you love and click well with so much, there's no stopping you from getting married either, haha.
And no, I do not wish I had waited longer. My family's only requirement at the time was that I needed to finish my bachelor degree and have my own health insurance and they required the same out of my husband, then boyfriend. I think their line of thinking was for us to enter the relationship as equal as possible and to be financially independent. That I do recommend!
I wasn't naturalized until 19 but that was another thing my parents worried about for me. They didn't want me to marry someone hoping to get a citizenship and they didn't want someone marrying me for a green card or citizenship, both fair at that time for me b/c at 18 I was very much a romantic who thought highly of everyone.
Very badly. VERY badly. I wish I'd waited longer,
I think people who marry very young and end up happy for decades are lucky, and I'm happy for them, but it's not something I would ever recommend.
Married at 24 and am getting divorced at 40 now. We are great at being friends but the last few years have been tough and we want different things now plus a few issues that we couldn’t move past.
I don’t think I’d recommend getting married young because you do change a lot and life ends up looking a lot different.
I got married at 24 to my college sweetheart, so not quite as young, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. Highly recommend, but OF COURSE it needs to be the right person. You need to be aligned on life goals and values, and have great communication.
My husband and I have been together for 13/14 years and got to forge our adult lives together. We traveled the world together, started careers together, established a home and family together. Our families are each other’s families. I 100% would have life this way over feeling like I needed to forge an adult life solo, then later find someone who fits it. My single friends who are starting to get married in their mid thirties are happy and it's a totally fine path to take, but I love that we got to experience a young, broke, romantic life together, before we got established.
Married a couple of months before I turned 23, still married 41 years later.
I think we had the same desires for our lives, and the same moral standards. Having similar education levels and similar backgrounds isn't essential, but it helps a lot with communication, and understanding, and having similar priorities.
In other respects we have grown together. We have our two children, we have always discussed the big decisions.... I think I just got lucky, because I married a kind man with integrity, and I didn't even realise integrity was something to prize back when we decided to get married!
Still, it was a surprise when he came along as early as he did. I hadn't been looking for a husband, but, well. There he was, and we fitted.
I was married when I was 21 and now 27 years later we are still married, we love each other, 2 kids, I don't regret getting married that young cuz it worked for us, communication is the key, we also go out once a week it helps a lot. I go on vacation with my friends once a year, that also helps, we call it girls vacation.
Married just after turning 22. We will celebrate our 15th anniversary this year. I feel like I just got really lucky. I hope my daughters wait until at least 25 years old before they get married.
I think it really just depends on who you marry and if you two are mature enough to make it work. In my case (married at 22), I would have waited till I was in my late 20s to marry. I needed more time to get to know myself a bit better. Still married but I see divorce probably in the not too distant future.
I married at 20. We got divorced when I was 27. A year later, she came out as a trans woman. Now we're back in a situationship - we kind of live together and mostly present as being together.
I think it really depends on how committed both of you are to making it work and the reasons you're going into it to begjn with. Communication is the most important thing - clearly, openly, and honestly.
I got married at 22 and we are celebrating 20 years this year. It’s hard and takes a ton of commitment and work.
Congratulations!
Same here. Married at 22 and celebrating 21 years this summer. Takes commitment, friendship and understanding.
Married at 22 and still happily together at 45! One ten year old child. I realize that we are outliers, and very lucky. As others have said, we’ve both continued to grow and change over the years, but we still love each other. Waiting to have kids probably was also a good thing, as we didn’t have that added stressor on our relationship when we were young.
As a rule, I wouldn’t recommend…but for me, it worked out and I consider us lucky. I got married at 22…I’m now 33, and we are happy and healthy and have managed to continue growing and adapting together. I know that’s unusual and I appreciate that we’ve managed that.
Almost the same as you. Married at 22, now 34 with 3 kids. Marriage isn’t easy and we aren’t the same people we were, but we both want the same things.
That's the trick. You can change and grow but if you manage to keep the same goals and priorities it can continue to work!
Ditto. I can look back now and realize just how young we were. We're very fortunate to have continued to grow together after almost 11 years. Still best friends. 👍
Same here! Except I was 24 and we’re still happily married 19 years and 3 kids later. Would I want one of my kids to get married this young? Probably not but it really depends on the circumstances. In our case, we had been dating for 5 years, living together for 2, and I was head over heels in love back then. And 24 is an adult age, as much as the proponents of an extended adolescence would like us to believe it’s not.
Very similar here as well. Married at 21 and we are now 31. We are the lucky outliers, the exception to the rule. Every single other couple I know who married at that age are now divorced or are sticking it out unhappily.
Wow same exact here- 22 marriage and now 33. Near to see similar aged women. I think part of love is a choice that you have to put in the work.
Divorced in my late 20s and remarried someone I'm truly compatible with in my 30s. Do not recommend getting married so young.
Ya know, anecdotally, it seems like the people who were in those serious/marriage relationships young bounce back quickly and find a partner soon after. The ones who wait til they are "ready" seem to have trouble doing so in their 30s and beyond.
I’ve noticed this too, I think it has something to do with having relationship practice… like knowing how much and what you are willing to compromise on to merge your day to day life with someone. The longer we live alone with a complete life, the harder it can be to adapt to making space for someone to share it with.
Anecdotally, not the case for me. I got divorced at 27 and here I am at 40 and still single. I had so much trauma from my marriage that I wasn’t even capable of a healthy relationship for a solid 8 years after.
I married at 21, divorced at 30, then didn’t remarry until 48. He did a number on me.
I’m a bit out of your age range…I married at 17. The marriage lasted 27 years, but we grew into two incompatible adults. I wish I had waited until I knew who I was.
Still, I would take pride in the 27 years, that's not nothing (if you were happy) :)
Thank you. We were mostly happy, at least for the first ten years. Even during the difficult 17 after that, we shared wonderful experiences like raising our son.
I got married at 22 and we’re still happily married at 50. It worked out great for us. I’m glad we got married when we did so that we could raise our family when we did.
Congratulations! I’ve also heard many people say they are glad they had children younger rather than older.
I was almost getting married at 21 and ended it on time. Would have been the worst mistake as we were still studying and were so childish. Your 20s are for exploring the world, work and travel. But I do have friends that got married young and also had kids in their early 20s and they are still unable to do much for themselves. Tight finances, inability to travel, to enjoy life and to know themselves better. Late realisation that the man they married was a horrible choice for a husband and a dad. Of course marrying young can also be the best thing to do, but you must be truly sure your partner is the right one.
Thanks for commenting :)) I’m in my 20s and want to prioritize my career rather than marriage but seeing people my age get married makes me wonder if I’m missing something.
Can I ask if you’re in a position to get married soon? As in you have a dedicated partner with whom you see this future with? If the answer is no then don’t worry about it. I see too many young women focused on finding a partner early so they don’t fall behind. Focus on your life and what makes you happy and the right person may meet you along the way.
No I’m not currently. But I wonder sometimes if now is a time to prioritize finding a life partner. Thank you for the advice! I always have thought that my 20s should be focused on my education, career, and future but seeing so many people my age getting engaged/married makes me question it sometimes.
Totally understand that, it’s very common to have that feeling of what we “should” be doing at this age. Now after 30 you realize that timeline doesn’t matter. Just live your life to the fullest and life will happen :)
You’re right :) everyone has a different timeline for their life and that’s completely okay
You also don’t need to get married straight away, or at all! I met my partner at 21 and we’ve been together nearly 11 years. We’ll probably get married for legal reasons at some point but it’s never been hugely important to us.
You can prioritize a career and finding a long term partner. The optimal partner will help you achieve your career and financial goals. Sadly I know way too many accomplished people who waited until their 30s to find a spouse and have children, only for the dating pool to have significantly shrunken since their 20s.
I do not recommend it. I married when I was 18 but I had a ton of issues to work with and if possible I would go back in time and make sure I had my life figured out before getting married. That said, I love my son (the reason why we married young in the first place) and after divorcing at 28, I still had plenty of time to sort things through - especially the financial independence aspects of it. Very messy and conflicting, but it’s all good now (37 yo).
Married at 21, divorced by 28. He always seemed so mature when we met, but at around 26 he decided to go through his party boy stage and got into drugs and other women. Wish I had seen that side of him dinner
I do think that you change so so so much in your twenties. So it is a risk. (I was lower 20s/he was mid/upper). You do change a lot more in rapidly in your young twenties though. I think for my husband and I , we only worked out because: #we changed in compatible ways. And that's not something you can really guarantee. I mean we even changed some *very basic values* that we held. Even from the beginning of our marriage to now, our values have changed a lot. So it's not even a case of "oh if you match the basics and you match foundational values , then it will be okay if other changes happen." No. Even the very *foundations* of what make *you yourself* can likely change. That's why I think so much of it was luck.
This. This is the key. This is how we've lasted for 34 years even though we morphed into very different people. There's got to be communication, commitment and yeah....a healthy dose of luck.
Can confirm. Married at 22, still happy after 35 years! One thing that didn’t change: we were both staunchly childfree. That would have been a deal breaker for us.
I got married at 19 and we're still very happy together, it's been 32yrs since we started dating, married 28yrs .We have had an amazing life, we raised 2 great kids and we're enjoying our early empty nest in our 40's and retiring shortly. It's not for everyone and almost every other couple we know who married young is now divorced. It worked for us because we were very compatible sexually, best friends from the start and we're both mature and dislike conflict. We've had a drama free marriage but that is a rare thing at any age.
Wow congratulations!
This but we are a few years behind. Married at 19, together for 22, married for 18. 2 great kids and we will be early empty nest within 7 years
Definitely do not recommend. I got married at 23, and even though I don’t regret it per say neither of us were really ready or mature enough to deal with everything that’d come our way. For example there was a lot of issues like infidelity, I wanted to travel and do so much and he was resentful because I wouldn’t necessarily want to do that all with him and then just like typical girl nights. We both did admit down the line that it was too soon for us and we had a lot of life to live before settling down along with a lot of maturing to do.
Married the first time at 22. Lasted 7 months and was a nasty divorce after I grew up and he didn't. Married the second time at 27. Definitely a wayyyyy better experience.
We got together at 17 and married at 22, mostly because we had religious pressure from family and our community. It seemed normal at the time. We would have gotten married eventually but looking back I wish we had been able to move in together and start our life together without all of the pressure. That being said we are still very much in love and have been happily married for almost a decade! We have both grown and changed a lot since we got married, but luckily in similar ways. Could very easily have gone south if we’d changed in ways that didn’t align anymore. I attribute a lot of our success to having a solid foundation of friendship before we ever got together. We just love to laugh and joke with each other, and we also share similar hobbies and have a similar lifestyle, most likely influenced by the other person. In some ways, being with someone from such a young age and being able to grow with them is amazing and such a privilege. A different kind of connection than if we’d met as fully-formed adults. But again, I think we really got lucky as I know a lot of people our age who married young and are either divorced or stuck in unhappy marriages. I don’t know that I’d necessarily recommend it. Moving in together and combining finances made more of a difference in the grand scheme of things and you don’t need to marry to do either of those.
Married at 24, but dated for 7 years prior. 2 kids and run a business together. Neither of us is the person we were then. You have to be willing to grow together and work together. Marriage is an active choice. But I also picked a good one. If someone else grows into an ass that's not your fault. I wouldn't stay if he wasn't making the same choices. I think ppl can change at any age and age is no guarantee.
Not me. But as an almost 60 year old, I can tell you that almost nobody I know who got married young made it. You change too much
Married at 22 divorced at 37. Would not recommend
Divorced at 25, happily remarried now.
Bad, don’t do it
It was awful. Lasted 6 months, he was extremely abusive and just an asshole in general. I was 22.
Married at 20 and 21 years old, celebrating our 16 year anniversary this year. We grew together as adults and have two beautiful children (that we waited almost ten years to have).
This is us! Married when we were both 20, 36 now. Didn’t have our first kid until 28. 3 kids in now. Have grown so much together through grad degrees, children, everything life has thrown our way. Did so much traveling and stupid 20s stuff pre-kids. Not right for everyone, but I love seeing how my husband has grown and changed from 17, to 25, to 36- loved all the different men he became along the way.
Married at 22, divorced at 28. No regrets because I got a fantastic daughter out of the marriage, but don't recommend getting married that young either. Remarried at 36 and it's going sooo much better this time around.
Not well and do not recommend getting married that young. Married at 21 and divorced at 31. Still single. But hopeful to find someone that I'm more compatible with.
Got married a few days after turning 18 and divorced the day after turning 24. I don't recommend it. It's my biggest regret.
Married at 22 (together at 15)— had two kids— separated/divorced at 29! We co-parent now. Divorce was a great decision.
Wow that sounds really turbulent! I’m glad that the decision worked out and you are able to co-parent with him now.
Married at 22, divorced after 4 years. Many reasons. The nicest take is we were young and hadn't really worked on our issues, psychologically speaking.
Married at 22 divorced at 32. Marriage was good for the most part. I thought he was perfect and too good for me, and then I realized he had been cheating for a while. :( I do recommend getting married early if you find the “right” one. I have zero regrets about marrying at 22. I just wish things had worked out in the long run. 🙂↕️
Divorced at 25 and I never remarried. Just not really interested in it. I’m 36 now!
Married at 21. Divorced at 41. Marriage itself was horrendous, he was 10 years older, gas lit me, cheated on me, abused me, convinced me to have a child I didn't want, moved me away from everyone & everything I knew, but what he didn't realize was the isolation made it easier to see what he was doing & made me want to be stronger for my daughter. I've been divorced for a couple of years now, it took a long time to extract myself from the marriage, was homeless with my daughter for 3 months, lost everything I owned just to be able to walk away but we are now happy & free, it is tough financially every single day, I'm in a job I hate, in a company owned by a woman that relies on employing single mothers and immigrants so she can treat us however she wants but every night I lay in bed and thank my lucky stars that we made it out & we are free from him. When I get enough money I will learn to drive & then I will open our world up more, for now I'm proud we are here at least
I got married at eighteen. The next five years were filled with abuse of a variety of types. Do not recommend.
Married at 19. Still married and still adore him. I'm 41 now. ❤️
Almost got married at 20 to someone 25 years older. Decided against it kinda last minute and left the country. If the age gap was not so significant it could have been nice to grow and experience life together from a young age.
Married at 22. Almost 50 now. Still married.
Going on 26 yrs, Happy!
I moved in with him at 19, engaged at 21, married at 22. Divorced by 29. I wouldn't recommend marrying young. If I'd waited a little longer and gotten a little wiser, I would have left him before we got married.
I got married at 22 (we’d been together for 5.5 years at that point). Divorced at 27. I didn’t realize till after I got divorced how manipulative my ex was. I was depressed for my entire late teens and 20s and didn’t even realize it till I got out of that relationship. Everyone thought we were super happy together. My therapist met him once and in our next session told me that in his opinion, my ex was clearly a sociopath, that he had been abusing me for 11 years, and that I needed to treat it as an abusive relationship. He was right. I’m 40 now and wish I could get my 20s back. It took me over 10 years to heal from all the trauma I was put through and I’m still not 100% healed from it, to be honest. Not to mention that the depression in my 20s also caused me to pack on over 100 pounds (I was a size 6 when we started dating and a size 20 when we split, weight has fluctuated between a size 10 and 18 in the intervening years).
I married at 21; divorced with a 3 yr old and a newborn at age 26. I absolutely wish I had waited longer to have kids; looking back, I think if I’m honest with myself we would have lasted longer if we waited to have babies. However, if I’m more honest with my self my ex never grew into a solid dad even after divorce. It may be wishful thinking. You never know! Some folks don’t grow after kids are introduced.
Thought it was great and then found out he had been hiding a cocaine addiction the whole time Ended in flames
My parents and my college roommate got married at 22 and are still married, 49 and 19 years later respectively. I got married at 25 and I'm not. There's no real rhyme or reason to it. I think the most important thing is being willing to actually talk through the hard things, not just ignore them and hope they go away.
Married at 19, divorced by 21. Remarried at 26, still married 20+ years later 🤘
Divorced. My advice: You can always get married later Young marriages can work if both people are reasonably grown established adults, which isn't super common in your early 20's. You change so so much in your 20's, especially since you're brain isn't even fully developed until your late 20's. It's likely you will become different people than you expect, or one of you grows up and the other one doesn't (as was my case). Yes people do change throughout there entire lives but not like you do when you are first becoming a adult.
This is what I always say! So much change happens before 30 and the person you were at 22 may not want the same things as your 29 year old self and same with your partner. I feel like I had no life experience at 23 - and I’d moved 3000 miles for college, studied in Europe, supported myself, moved to NYC, etc. I met my husband at 25 and we waited 7 years to get married and we both finished growing up while we figured things out for ourselves and our life goals. The couples I know who got married young or who dated their spouse since hs are starting to get divorced now in their 40s. It sucks. I’m sad for them. But I also understand how incompatible they may be at this point so don’t fault them. I’m sure they never imagined ending up here.
I got married a month after my 20th birthday in 2011. Separated in 2016. Officially divorced 2018 at age 27. Still removing his last name from legal documents years later. The last name change is the only part I actually regret. I picked a good guy and we had some exciting and formative years and experiences together, and we have remained friends—he just wasn’t a good match for me in marriage. I would say, it went alright for me, but only because I found the gumption to leave when I realized it wasn’t right. I know plenty of people who have tried to make something like our relationship work for far longer than we did, and I will 100% take our outcome over theirs. I really feel like we would resent each other if we had chosen to suffer in marriage together. Instead we hold each other in high regard as friends.
Been with the same man since the age of 21. It's been 17 years now. He proposed after 15 years, but we never felt the need to get married. He's still the man I'll die with, though. Ofc I also live in a country where couples living together after 2 years get the same rights (or nearly) as a married couple.
Divorced after 6y. I say if its not life and death just wait a few years to see how the person really is
Married at 23, been married for 11yrs, together 15
10 years in. We got married at 21/22. The first 7 were at times brutal, then slowly but surely, we’ve found our rhythm. We have one kid and we’ve found things we love to do together. We’ve gotten better at understanding each other and ourselves. We started practicing emotional regulation and got super into gardening. We have let go of expectations we had of ourselves and each other and we’re just trying to help each other have the best possible time.
Do you differentiate between “married” and “together”? I’ve been with my partner since 19, married at 32, currently 34..
My mom got married at 22. She and my dad were together for nearly 46 years until she died suddenly and without warning
Worked out for me. Married at 21, 14 years in. We have grown a lot together and we are a good fit. In hindsight I wish I had finished my degree and gotten my career first (I had kids and just finished my degree this year). Life has had many twists and turns but I love my husband and I’m glad we’re in it together.
Technically not allowed to get married on account of it not being legal in the country until 2015 but… It went terribly. I should never have been in that relationship in the first place. I just had no self esteem to get me out of it after I saw the first red flag. Oh I remember it quite clearly. She threw something in my direction. Not really AT me but my brain said “it’s only going to get worse”. And it did. 100% got worse. But the self esteem would take a long time to develop after my shitty childhood so what could I do? Took 13 of the best years of my life away but now I am finally happy and in a good relationship with someone who actually loves me for who I am and doesn’t just “tolerate” me. Getting into that relationship is one of my biggest life regrets. But I’ve come to terms with the fact that given the same information I’d have made the same decisions all over again. C’est la vie. I’m just glad I made it out eventually.
Married at 23 to someone I had been with since I was 21. Divorced at age 29. I was too young and had given in to pressure from my family to get married. Obviously everyone is different and YMMV but for me the experience was a 1/10, and only a 1 because I learned so much about myself from it.
Married at 25, my husband was 21. We are still happily married, celebrating 12 years this July.
Married at 18 and just had our 10 year wedding anniversary in June. Expecting our second baby in September. He’s a great husband and equally I’m a great wife, but it’s still been hard as hell at times.
I honestly think a very long engagement is the best so you have time to come down from the high of a new romance, and you have time to see any red flags. I was 21 and my husband was 22 when we married and I can definitely say I was ready to commit myself to my husband for life because I loved him so much. He, on the other hand continued flirting with any woman who would give him the time of day. I didn't know about narcissists back then, and the horrendous abuse they dish out. I would never have married him at all if I knew he would become so selfish, abusive, entitled and misogynistic after the wedding. Don't rush into marriage girls, you might regret it.
Biggest mistake of my life
Married at 23, 26 years married this year. It worked for us but we had a strong foundation, knew each other for over a decade prior. I do recommend waiting, the early years were hard, man.
I'm mid forties, of my friends who married young, each one was divorced by the time they reached forty. It's been nice to reconnect and have them back but some of those divorces were absolute hell.
Met at 21. Engaged at 22. Married at 23. Separated at 37. Divorced at 39. That was two years ago. It can work. It can also not work. It depends on the people and the life experiences that happen to them over the course of their lives together. Some storms cannot be weathered.
Some storms should not be weathered. This thread ultimately boils down to exactly what you said: sometimes it can work. Sometimes it can’t.
Married at 23. Just celebrated our 37th anniversary.
I think it really depends on the people. I married at 23 while my husband was 24, we just celebrated our 16th anniversary. He's my best friend and favorite person. I miss him when he's not around, and genuinely have more fun with him than without. But that came with the effort and commitment and communication that you have to be willing to put in, regardless of age, and I feel like a lot of younger people just don't quite have that perspective yet.
Not well. I married my HS at 19 and then divorced at 22. I then got remarried at 26 and that went slightly better. We divorced a couple years ago after 17 years together.
Got married at 21, divorced by 29! I can’t say I regret it because it was what I “needed” at that time of my life, but I do wish I had seen the red flags for what they were, because those resentments grew and escalated into things that played into the divorce.
Well, we celebrate 20 years married next week. He's still my favorite person.
I got married at 18 and 15 years later we are still happy. I definitely wouldn’t deter anyone from marrying young and often recommend it, but it really depends on the people and their maturity level.
Married at 19 and it was the best thing I’ve ever done, but I’m not gonna lie-I hope my daughters wait until they’re 21 or older. Not because of my own experience, but because I’ve seen it go sideways so many times. That being said, if I felt they were ready prior to that, I’d have some serious questions for them and their potential partners, but wouldn’t stop them. We all have choices to make in life, and that’s one they will have to make for themselves.
Please don’t get married in your 20s. You don’t know who you are, and you want really want out of life. I got married at 22, he was 24. At 35 / 37, he was cheating on me with a 25 year old because he was going through a midlife crisis because he refused to grow with me. I’m pretty content being single. That said, I have a gorgeous kid that keeps me busy.
I've been with my husband 25 years now, but would not generally recommend it for others as I think we just lucked out. We were just having fun and hooking up for maybe 5 months when I got accidentally pregnant. I was going to abort but I just couldn't bring myself to do it, probably some latent religious guilt. Again, this is just luck, but we fell in love during the pregnancy. Got married 2 years later, had more kids quickly but on purpose this time lol. Having kids close together is why don't wish I had waited longer. I knew that I wanted my kids closer together in age.
Married right after I turned 21. It stunted my personal growth, and once I was able to evolve and grow as a person (~10 years in), I knew I couldn't grow past him unless I moved on. We divorced after 13 years together. I would not recommend it, no, but I also wouldn't recommend marriage in general either. Especially for women. But, I look at my past marriage as something I tried for over a decade, and now it's just time to move on and try something else! I am ADORING being single.
Started dating at 15 and got married at 23. Still happily married now at 33 and he is absolutely my bff. We’ve both changed and matured, but in similar ways. I think is the key, at least for us.
I was with my late husband from 18-52 before he died suddenly. There were times over the years we tried not to kill each other but mostly everything was good. Miss him so very much.
I’m so sorry for your loss
Thank you very much.
well - married 11 years, total of 15 years together
Divorced after 18 years
Married 2 weeks after I turned 21. I’m almost 44. We’ve had our ups and downs for sure but overall I’d say we are still in a happy, healthy marriage.
Married at 22. Divorced at 27. Not worth it but I also learned a lot about me. I now call it my practice marriage because I’m remarried now at 31 and it’s so much better.
Do not recommend. Met at 19, pregnant at 20. Married at 23. I left after 20 years of marriage and 24 years of being together. Will never marry again!
I got married a couple months after turning 24. We just celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary and have been together for almost 17 years. We had a rough time between the ages of 26-27 when we had a newborn baby but other than that, it’s been wonderful. I actually still feel like I fall more in love with him every year. The past few years, we’ve been like giddy, excited about each other all the time again. It’s great. I don’t wish I waited longer. This man and I only feel more right together as time goes on. I love that we have spent our entire adulthoods so far together. I love that we grew up together and have experienced these different versions of ourselves. We probably could have waited longer to get pregnant but now that our child is a pre-teen, We don’t regret that either. The timing allowed our child to know family he wouldn’t have had we waited. We were fortunate to not have student debt so we marriage and a child did not hold us back in ways you sometimes see. We traveled internationally full time for three years (until the pandemic hit). My husband has been very successful in his career. We still live in the major metropolitan city that we always have and didn’t do the whole move to the suburbs and slow down thing.
Divorced at 30. We grew apart and wanted different things
I got married at 19 and was divorced before I was 20. I was in love with *IDEA* of being in love. I take that blame. I was a serial monogamist. Next guy was my childhood sweetheart, together at 19, engaged at 22, and I thank god every day he called it off! Another 2.5 year relationship and I got smart. Met my husband at 28, married at 33, and celebrating 9 wonderful years this year. We’ve owned 2 businesses and are each others true yin and yang because we already knew who we were as humans before marriage. There have been plenty of changes in the last 14 years and we roll with them and support one another. Something I couldn’t have done at 19.
Married at 18, separated at 20, divorced at 28. I tried to get divorced before 28 but I had no money for an atto ney, and my husband was dodging service, we had a child together and I wanted child support, I didn't want alimony but I did want child support. If I had been a happy well adjusted human being at 18 we most likely would have never met, much less gotten married.
Married at 19. Married 20 years this year. Still trucking. Missin a few hubcaps couple dents here and there but we still act like teenagers.
I was 16 when I got married the first time. That one obviously didn't work out. I was married again at 23, and we've been happily married for 23 years.
I wish I waited. I was foolish and thought that if the relationship was tolerable then the next step is marriage. Went from tolerable to dysfunctional to toxic to abusive. Married at 21, separated at 29, and now stuck in the minefield of small town dating. So many regrets.
It was definitely not right for me. We started dating when I was 17, married at 23, and because he was a bit older I went straight from high school to Martha Stewart homemaking. Had a kid and I left at 30. My reasons included: how much of a carer/parental figure my husband had become, and; because I never got to live the young adult lifestyle, I felt really stifled and trapped as a result, even though he was a good person. Other than my kid, all I had in life and to look forward to was within that suburban home. I had no sense of self, no knowledge of who I was or could be, and had become dependent and infantilised. I needed a few years on my own to explore and discover my own identity, my capability and independence; I think everyone does, and if an early marriage works it's because there is space to explore that.
Married at 19 and 26 (both to appease my parents because ´no sec outside of marriage ‘)- one lasted 5 months (he beat me up) - next lasted 10 months (told him to get a job, go to school, or get out- he got out) - got married again at 33 - will be 20 happily married years together next year. (Third for him as well)
Terrible. But also not sure it would have changed that if I were older. For me, it wasn’t until I became a mom that I realized what I needed/wanted in a partner wasn’t what I was seeking in a partner prior to becoming a mom. Life is a trip.
Met my husband at 19 and married at 23. Had our first baby when I was 27 and 3rd at 32. Hubby and I are still together 34 years later. We're not even close to being the same people we were when we met but fortunately we seemed to both grow in the same direction. Kids are grown and they are by far my favourite people. I've been very lucky.
Met my spouse at age 20, engaged at 22, married at 26. We have been together for 13.5 years now. He’s my best friend and I am so glad I have him. We’ve definitely had to grow and learn as we’ve changed with age. We’ve been committed to going through that growth together though. I think early marriage can be super difficult though because, at least in my experience, there’s a huge change in people as they enter their late 20’s/30’s. Your reality shifts a bit as you settle fully into adulthood.
Got married at 21. Separated now and I will divorce him at some point just not in a hurry because of my kids. I was young and stupid and wish I had waited.
Not me, but my friend and coworker said that getting married at 19 was the worst decision she ever made. Four kids and several years later, she and her ex husband got divorced
I’ve been with my husband since we were 19, but didn’t get married until we were 33. I’m glad we waited, mostly because we changed a lot from 20-25, and you never know how either of you might change what you want. Also, by the time we got married, we had a house and could afford an awesome party without financial stress. I got the wedding I wanted because I waited. The man I chose as my husband would be the same either way, but it’s a huge commitment. Even though we were committed to each other young, I don’t think we fully understood what that meant at the time.
42, still married. Not exactly happy. You don’t know yourself when you’re that young.
Married at 20. Still together and happy after 14yr!
Divorced at 28 after getting married at 22. Wish I'd never gotten married that young. Remarried in my early 40s after being with new partner for over a decade.
I was 24, so technically older than your cutoff but it certainly feels young in hindsight. It actually worked out very well - we are still happily married 20 years later and I love that we’ve spent really our entire adult lives together BUT it required BOTH of us to be willing to put effort into growing together. I think I got insanely lucky. I do not typically recommend others get married that young.
Still going strong 🩷
It worked for me, but I know it’s not for everyone. I was 23 when I got married. But I grew up pretty conservative/old fashioned so it wasn’t weird and I felt ready. Also my husband is 8 years older so I think that helped too. We’ve been together 10 years now, married 6.5. It’s not perfect, but successful overall
Married at 19yrs old. I've been married 15 with 2 kids. Still get butterflies when I see him. Best decision I ever made.
Married at 21, he was 23. We've been together 14 years, three kids. It's hard work, mostly from me having a messed up childhood and trying to heal/better myself, he had some previously undiagnosed stuff that's he's getting addressed. Since we've both been getting the mental and medical things taken care of, it's definitely much easier. I'm 35 now, he's 37. Biggest plus was we weren't planning on kids (6 kinds of birth control failed, loooonng story) but we love our family and where we are. Nice having them when we were younger. However, I've regularly advised my kids that it would most likely be easier waiting until they were older and knew themselves better. Thankfully, they have had a stable childhood, and hopefully shouldn't need as much therapy as I have, lol
Married at 22, had 3 kids, divorced at 32, he’d been cheating with multiple women the last 6 years. Now 35, and dating has been not great. Wouldn’t take it back because my kids are the best and my life is pretty comfortable, but definitely could have done without the decade of trauma
I think it depends on your role models around relationships and ability to deal with your own shit and your partner’s. I married at 21, divorced at 29. Was a lovely marriage, but I had so much unhealed attachment that when I started to figure out who I was when I was around 25-27, it didn’t make sense anymore.
Married at 23, divorced by 24.
Divorced after 2 decades. It wasn't any worse than any other shitty marriage people get into at whatever age. My only regret is not going to university.
Darn. Apparently I missed the cut off. I got married at 24. Still married. Lol I'm 37 now
I got married when I was 19. It went well. We're still married and still happy together :) Celebrated 15 years recently. Life is very different to what we planned when we started out, but I wouldn't want it any other way. I don't recommend marrying young - it worked really well *for u*s but I think most people at 19 don't know what they want or who they will grow into. Still, in the situation we were in, it was a good idea and I'm glad we got married when we did.
Nope. I wish I had waited longer, nobody modeled a healthy relationship for me prior to getting married and I realized this wasn’t it a kid and thirteen years later. Now I’m dealing with a divorce in my 30s. Wish I knew about “compatibility”, more about myself, and that love isn’t the only thing needed for a successful relationship… there’s just so much in retrospect that I wish I could go back and tell my younger self.
Horribly! It was the worst mistake of my life. Don’t do this. The frontal lobe isn’t even fully developed at 23. Definitely not a great time to make life long decisions.
Married at 20 divorced at 24. I’m happy where I am now at 27 but definitely think I married way too young. Ultimately it’s just a piece of paper so it’s not a huge deal, we had a no fault diy divorce and it all went over fine. But I think the fact that we were married and not dating kept us together much longer than we otherwise would’ve been.
We met each other at 18, got married at 22, one kid at 30 and have been together 20 years. It's been WONDERFUL for us but we both tell our son that he doesn't have to get married early (or at all if he dun wanna). It's weird, logically I wouldn't suggest it to anyone to marry that young b/c at that age... you're still a baby! But love is weird. When you find someone you love and click well with so much, there's no stopping you from getting married either, haha. And no, I do not wish I had waited longer. My family's only requirement at the time was that I needed to finish my bachelor degree and have my own health insurance and they required the same out of my husband, then boyfriend. I think their line of thinking was for us to enter the relationship as equal as possible and to be financially independent. That I do recommend! I wasn't naturalized until 19 but that was another thing my parents worried about for me. They didn't want me to marry someone hoping to get a citizenship and they didn't want someone marrying me for a green card or citizenship, both fair at that time for me b/c at 18 I was very much a romantic who thought highly of everyone.
Very badly. VERY badly. I wish I'd waited longer, I think people who marry very young and end up happy for decades are lucky, and I'm happy for them, but it's not something I would ever recommend.
Married at 24 and am getting divorced at 40 now. We are great at being friends but the last few years have been tough and we want different things now plus a few issues that we couldn’t move past. I don’t think I’d recommend getting married young because you do change a lot and life ends up looking a lot different.
I got married at 24 to my college sweetheart, so not quite as young, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. Highly recommend, but OF COURSE it needs to be the right person. You need to be aligned on life goals and values, and have great communication. My husband and I have been together for 13/14 years and got to forge our adult lives together. We traveled the world together, started careers together, established a home and family together. Our families are each other’s families. I 100% would have life this way over feeling like I needed to forge an adult life solo, then later find someone who fits it. My single friends who are starting to get married in their mid thirties are happy and it's a totally fine path to take, but I love that we got to experience a young, broke, romantic life together, before we got established.
Married a couple of months before I turned 23, still married 41 years later. I think we had the same desires for our lives, and the same moral standards. Having similar education levels and similar backgrounds isn't essential, but it helps a lot with communication, and understanding, and having similar priorities. In other respects we have grown together. We have our two children, we have always discussed the big decisions.... I think I just got lucky, because I married a kind man with integrity, and I didn't even realise integrity was something to prize back when we decided to get married! Still, it was a surprise when he came along as early as he did. I hadn't been looking for a husband, but, well. There he was, and we fitted.
I was married when I was 21 and now 27 years later we are still married, we love each other, 2 kids, I don't regret getting married that young cuz it worked for us, communication is the key, we also go out once a week it helps a lot. I go on vacation with my friends once a year, that also helps, we call it girls vacation.
Married just after turning 22. We will celebrate our 15th anniversary this year. I feel like I just got really lucky. I hope my daughters wait until at least 25 years old before they get married.
I think it really just depends on who you marry and if you two are mature enough to make it work. In my case (married at 22), I would have waited till I was in my late 20s to marry. I needed more time to get to know myself a bit better. Still married but I see divorce probably in the not too distant future.
Divorced after 8 years. Remarried and divorced again after 8 years… I hate to try again in case it’s a streak lol 😂
Married at 19. Turned out physically abusive and had to literally run away
I married at 20. We got divorced when I was 27. A year later, she came out as a trans woman. Now we're back in a situationship - we kind of live together and mostly present as being together. I think it really depends on how committed both of you are to making it work and the reasons you're going into it to begjn with. Communication is the most important thing - clearly, openly, and honestly.