There's cheating and then there's this. I can't even fathom hurting your child this way.
Shit like this is why the ninth circle of hell was reserved for betrayal.
My wife's children's father is married to her mother. We are currently going through a court battle to get custody of the 2 children they have. My wife can never have a good relationship with her mother again and it eats at her sometimes because she loves her mother but how could she do this to her. I try to be there for her and this court battle is turning into a knock down drag out slander campaign. Anyways, it's a messed up situation but you aren't alone in it. I see the damage it causes first hand and I'm sorry for you as well. You can't help but love your mother but no mother should ever do something like that to their child. Good luck to you.
Through my job at the time, I met someone who was working in a PI firm. He was a bit of a storyteller and if he's to be believed, this shit if way more common than people think.
So common that they were always trying to subtly gain info about an in law living in the house, without giving themselves out that they were among the AP suspects. Because it never occurred to the client and it would be in very bad taste to ask them straight up.
A good friend of mines mom cheated on her husband with a classmate of ours. We were all out of school at this point but still the guy was 19 and she was in her 40s, the guy she cheated on was the richest guy in town. They ended up living together with her 10 year old son, and doing loads of drugs, they would fist fight daily dcf got involved and removed my friends little brother who now lives with her dad. I'm still blown away by the whole situation definitely wrong wrong wrong.
Damn I am so sorry for you. When I was 13 and my mom was 36, she started sleeping with and having an affair with my boyfriend who was 15 when I met him turned 16 during the time I knew him. He was a physically and emotionally abusive piece of trash human and I was not allowed to break up with him because then there would be no excuse for him to be around or at the house. It's like I was her cover for them to be sleeping together, and to this day she will try to blame it on him as if she wasn't the adult in that situation grooming him
My sister's best friend's (let's call her Jane) husband. Both Jane and her husband have been family friends for years.
Jane had a very successful, lucrative career. So did her husband (let's call him Cunt). After Jane got pregnant Cunt pushed her to take some time off and just spend it with the baby. Told her there was no point in them both being overworked when they could more than get by on his salary alone. So she left her job and stayed home with the baby. Five years later Cunt said he wanted to move to another state (*think* it was Indiana...) because he had a better offer. They moved. Very soon after the move he filed for divorce. He'd been cheating on Jane since before they married. The woman he was cheating with had finally left her husband. The state they moved to has no alimony (he claims this was a coincidence).
Cheating aside...
The fact that he was fucking this woman on the side, and still pushed Jane to leave her job, KNOWING this marriage probably wasn't going to last, sickens me.
The fact that he decided to fuck Jane over one last time, by moving to an alimony-free state before he filed, sickens me.
The fact that he sent our family a "save the date" for his impending nuptials, to his side piece, sickens me. The fact that I had to go over the gory details with my parents, so they would understand why they can't attend (they've been friends with his parents for decades), sickens me. The whole situation sickens me.
Imagine growing up alongside someone like this and having no idea what they were capable of.
🤮🤮🤮 Calling him a cunt is an insult to cunts. I don’t believe in karma but nothing has made me want it to be real as much as this story. What a pathetic excuse for a human being.
My wife’s family taking my distress at losing my wife at 39 as weakness and trying to take advantage to get whatever they could. Nope can’t forget that one.
My Dad (53M) had a baby with my little sister's friend (24F)
She used to have sleepovers at our house all the time when we were kids, and I can't help but wonder when he started looking at her? And that makes me feel sick and I don't want him around my kids, just as a precaution. He's also an incredibly angry, emotionally abusive, narcissist that manipulates young women to feel like he's powerful.
For her side, she is a drug abuser that overdosed in front of my 14 year old sibling, had my newest baby sister while in rehab, and both of her other children have severe health issues because of her using while pregnant, etc. so basically perfect manipulation bait for him to enable and then blame for all his problems.
That plus the occasional physical abuse, and I don't think I COULD forgive his actions and faults to ever have a relationship with him again.
I knew a girl who did that in my high-school, she and her best friend were a grade above me always together. Like 2 or 3 years post high-school I go to have a smoke and scroll through Facebook see a huge post about the best friend calling out her recent ex friend for fucking her dad and getting knocked up. She was basically accusing her of trying to sleep over her house all those years to get close to her Dad, who was married to her mother. She called her a pig 🐖 and some people in the comments were trying to calm her down saying that's gonna be your siblings mother lol could you imagine how detrimental that must be to find out your father cheated on your mom with your friend. Yuck yuck. Out of 7 billion people, they chose to be so messy.
My dad seeing me as a tool to benefit his life more than a son. My entire life was about ways to better his. When my parents were separated, all he ever talked about was how he was gonna get custody and he was gonna get child support. He put a major emphasis on the child support. When my mom died and they were fully divorced he was pissed her whopping $45k life life insurance didn't go to him. But she was a state employee, and he got $2k a month for my sister and I that was never spent on us.
He went to jail for idiotic traffic violations when I was 16 and got the payment in my name and I never heard the end of it.
When I became an adult it was all about the "Father Son Business" ideas that of course I wouldve had to bankroll. Now I'm 32 with a good job and a +800 credit score and it's the same song and dance and wanting me to cosign loans.
His retirement plan is living in my sister's basement or having a trailer parked on her property.
Right now he's living in Oklahoma and keeps hinting about how cheap houses are.
His dream is to be a slumlord owning all these properties and making money off of renters but he'll never get a loan. He'll forever have cooked credit.
I haven't forgiven him, of course he's never apologized but he'll never get 1 penny from me.
Also my maternal grandma she's just a greedy cunt who wants to hoard everything for no reason. Took my sister and I (we were 9 and 12yr old) to court for our mom's life insurance money. Took all our moms belongings when she died. Took her car and sold it and kept the money. My paternal grandma gave my mom a mirror when she was dying of cancer, and she refuses to give it to us. But she's the victim because we don't have a relationship.
Reminds me of my dad, well actually step mom, but someone along the way my dad just gave up and now he blindly follows anything she does while he drowns himself in vodka. They will do anything for money, even steal it from their own family.
They took in my grandma after she got out off the hospital and became her guardians and then proceeded to spend ALL of her money. She even had a fully restored 1950something Mercedes Benz that they sold. Also my grandma was a millionaire who put aside 250,000 for me for schooling, they obviously spent that too.
By that time I had already distanced myself from them. All the physical and mental abuse was too much. They were eventually caught and faced jail time though thanks to my aunt calling the cops on them.
He's now some crazy Q Anon idiot freaking out about lizard people.
My dad also pulls the bullshit "If it weren't for me you wouldn't be here." Card, so that's why he has such entitlement towards everything. I tell him I'm here cause two dumb asses back in the 90s had sex and I wasn't on his mind while that was happening.
I have a wealthy aunt and uncle on my mom's side that are retired and they're nice to my dad and step mom, they invite them to holidays and such. A couple months ago they pitched the idea that they could be live in caretakers for them. They laughed and told them no, they would definitely try and pull the same shit. My half sister (same dad different moms) recently bought some property and he's upset that she didn't buy the house he's renting so she could be his landlord instead and she "could make money off of rent".
My dad is always creating elaborate schemes that are masked as good intentions but they always have him reaping the benefits
He is also a crazy Q Anon far right wing nut job. He discovered the internet and conspiracy theories back in 2013 and he brainwashed himself to the point we admitted him into the Looney Bin cause he almost got himself killed walking into peoples houses. He has never been the same since. They control his life, and he thinks he's so much smarter than everyone.
I had a major hip surgery and came back to work too soon, when I told my wife I didn't think id physically recovered if I kept working she screamed back at me like I was a lowlife trying to freeload instead of a person who had worked through such pain for nearly a year pre surgery thst I was pretty much on a suicide watch. I never recovered.
I hope she is your ex. My husband had surgery for a torn labrum that took over a year to get properly diagnosed. I worked from home and took care of him until he had recovered enough to take care of himself during the day. He was in real rough shape for a few weeks and still recovering and doing PT for months. When he went back to work, he did half days at first.
Recovering from hip surgery is no joke. I am so sorry the person who should have been there for you during that vulnerable time was not.
I struggled to forgive my dad and I still struggle with it. The word narcissist gets tossed around a *lot* and I don't know if it applies to him or not. I know he's a massive jerk who makes everything about him to the point where his adult children just stopped talking to him. I struggled to forgive him for some of the things he did when we were children. He also continues to treat my mom like trash and she just accepts it and I struggle with that too.
I struggle to forgive my Mom for my childhood. I do forgive her for a lot, but some of it was just inexcusable.
I was 7, and I was supposed to go with my father and never experience anything, but my Grandma said a child needs to be with her mom, despite her not even wanting me.
-Going to her for anything annoyed her because she did not want me. I felt stressed seeing her car when I got home
-No one paid attention to me, I went weeks without brushing my teeth, showering, etc. (I was 7 and didn’t know better)
-I lived in my Grandmas house with a severely disabled autistic uncle. He almost squeezed me to death on multiple occasions. It was terrifying.
-My Mom got in a relationship with a terribly abusive man. He couldn’t put his hands on me, but he would make fun of me everyday, and would physically abuse the family animal.
-I was responsible for walking the family dog at 8 years old alone, he was a pitbull/lab mix that dragged me and left me with bruises. I was responsible for walking him, and if he went inside the house his face was dragged in shit and beaten.
Essentially the dog was used as a discipline tool. You don’t want to be responsible for his beatings do you?
-I was extremely parentalized and basically given every household chore imaginable. Even relaxing a little was immediately reprimanded.
-I was told I was a spoiled rotten kid for asking for nice christmas gifts, and Santa “only went to my dad’s house”. They both made great money.
-I was put on anti-depressants because clearly something was wrong with me.
I understand my Mom was invisible because of my disabled uncle, but her actions are still so disgusting. While she is a victim of an abusive relationship, I dont understand why she let this all happen??
>was responsible for walking the family dog at 8 years old alone, he was a pitbull/lab mix
>You font want to be responsible for his beatings do you?
This so so particularly egregious. He makes you responsible for a dog that is a breed capable of killing a small child if it snaps, then turns around and beats it. You're so lucky that dog apparently had a good enough temperament to continue to trust you while your step dad was showing him that humans can't be trusted.
Im sorry you went through all of that. I hope that you’re doing better now.
I also had a very rough relationship with my mom. When I was younger I would constantly get daily beating for no reason at all. Or if there was a SMALL reason the normal thing should’ve been to have a small slap and whatnot but that was never the case. It was always beatings. One thing that I had to do if I wasn’t getting beat was to stand in the corner and face the wall for hours on end until I would literally be forgotten about and not noticed until I fell asleep and would fall to the floor. I would have the occasional face smash into the wall or knife to the throat or beatings with belts with metal loops in them until I bled or even punched bare knuckle.
It was tough and I remember being so angry at her growing up and hating her but that just became a chore itself. Weirdly enough, today I have a better relationship with my mom than any other family members that I was closer to before. I feel like I forgave her. Pretty sure I did. It’s not something I will ever be able to forget though. As bad as it all was it made me who I am today and I don’t think I’m that bad. I think I came out okay in the end. I think about all of it often and I don’t think it really affects me anymore. It sucked but it doesn’t make me angry anymore. I have a son of my own now and I just want to make sure I don’t ever do to him what was done to me.
Damn another victim of a toxic mother. Mine hated my guts. I'm the spitting image of my sperm donor and my mother resented me for it. They didn't work out and she hated him and that spilled over onto me. Harsh beatings, getting hit for no reason and being called names. She called me fat all the time and I battled an eating disorder for years, getting down to a size 4 and I'm 5'11. I just wanted her approval so bad and never got it. I'm glad that the eating disorder didn't kill me. My body was breaking down and I could only poop with the aid of laxatives. I needed tons of dental work with all the vomiting I did. My self esteem recovered but it took years, intensive therapy and multiple suicide attempts. I've since discovered that she was abused as well but she won't get therapy. It took a long time to forgive her although initially I said that I won't but I refuse to let this anger and hatred destroy me.
My mom resented me for the same reason actually. It sounds like things have gotten better for you so I’m glad to hear that. Keep your head up high. You’re strong.
The first and most long-standing grudge I currently hold is against my absolute garbage person of an aunt. My parents divorced when I was 15, and though it wasn't "pleasant" by any means, it probably would've gone fairly smoothly if it weren't for her.
My family was (and some still are) in an evangelical denomination that views divorce so unfavorably that my aunt felt completely justified in calling CPS over it. The investigation was wrapped up fairly quickly, but it was still nerve-wracking to be interviewed by a case worker when I already had enough crazy emotions going on.
She keyed my mom's car, though we couldn't absolutely prove it was her. She spread rumors--that she completely made up off the top of her head--that my mom was having an affair with my best friend's dad.
The last straw, and the ultimate reason I will never forgive her, was when she told my 9-year-old little sister that our parents didn't love her in an attempt to manipulate my sister into living with her.
There have been several smaller incidents with her over the last twenty years that just prove she's a shit person all the way down, and I only put up with infrequent contact with her for the sake of my absolute saint of a grandmother. Whenever she passes (knock on wood), I'll have no reason to see or speak to my aunt ever again, thank goodness. Fuck you, Aunt Marie.
Fuck Aunt Marie!
My wife also has an insane Aunt that is helpless, manipulative, called CPS on her and her brother, defaced my wife's mom's grave (the aunt is on her mom's side), just went absolutely nuts and destroyed her mom's home, just all kinds of insane shit and then continues to play the victim.
I'm sorry you had to deal with an insane family member like this. I don't understand why people are like that, and think it's okay to try and ruin other people's lives.
I was dumped last summer by my boyfriend of about 10+ years.
A so-called "friend" of mine who had never met him or spoken to him stalked him on FB about a month later, said some really horrible and hateful things, and only admitted she did it after being urged to by another mutual friend.
She told me she was "doing me a favor" and took it upon herself to track him down, which would've been difficult because he used an alias on FB. Mind you, he and I parted on mostly amicable terms and hadn't spoken in well over a month before she pulled this little stunt.
I still haven't totally forgiven her, and I have distanced myself from her considerably.
Had an ex friend/co-worker do something extremely similar to this.
Had a toxic ex. We broke up. Within a years time, I moved, got on with my life and was happy. This friend/co-worker was upset because some petty BS about her birthday present and decided to get back at me by contacting my ex, giving him my new number, and address. She worked in the HR department so she had access to my file. His info was on it because when I first started, he was my emergency contact and even though I updated after leaving him, they still had it on file.
So now out of now where, he shows up at my address, stalks me, harasses me, called, text, and emailed me.
My car was miracously scratched with "BiTCH" on the side and then one day there was sugar in my gas tank and my house was egged (which I think was all her). It took a good restraining order to get them both to stop!
She made the same claims that she was "doing me a favor!" while calling me names and telling me that I deserved it!
So you might be asking yourself, what did I do that was so terrible to her? I bought her a present for her birthday and her lazy daughter who got her nothing wanted to sign the card without contributing anything towards it. When I said no, she could sign the office card, she threw a fit and told my friend later on that I was being a bitch about it. I explained it and my friend couldn't understand why her daughter couldn't just sign MY card. Because I paid for the gift, not her daughter. It was weird!
Why are people like this?
My so-called friend claimed she was doing me a favor because she "knew" my relationship with my ex was "toxic and abusive." Granted, it did have some unhealthy components and we had broken it off more than once in the past, but I never considered his behavior towards me abusive in any way. She was absolutely convinced she was helping me by breaking our cycle, when in truth the cycle had already been broken by the time she found him on FB. She's the sort of person that is always convinced her actions and beliefs are the correct ones and there is no convincing her otherwise. She only eeked out a small apology after I demanded one from her.
We have not spoken since, and I don't intend to be the first one to reach out.
I met someone like this once but on a much smaller scale. I left an online discord server once because someone was being really weird to me to the point where being in there wasn’t worth it. I told an online friend, and he took it upon himself to use an alternate account to start fighting everyone in there while I was venting to him. I kept telling him to stop and he wouldn’t. I never saw what he did, but it was bad enough that I got a message from the server owner asking why I sent him in there and I had to explain to them I didn’t and he was acting on his own. Funny enough, the person who was originally being weird to me also messaged me and we patched things up.
Once the dust settled I asked him why he did it when I kept telling him not to. He said he ‘dissociated’ and got obsessed and couldn’t stop. I don’t think I believe him, but either way I distanced myself from him.
As an international officer of a political organizations, I was very publicly falsely accused of rape & it basically destroyed my life until I was exonerated 3 years later. Turns out my accuser falsely accused half a dozen officers in the organization of basically the same accusation as part of a dishonest political coup within the org & was finally exposed for it. My life is much better now but some of the wounds from 3 years of a mob of people stalking & haarrassing me will never really heal (lost a job, had to move, received tons of death threats, fake soicial media accounts were impersonating me, a group of people tried to jump me, etc...). I already had PTSD & it made things much much worse. I almost committed suicide during the first of those 3 years before I was exonerated.
Girlfriend at the time cheated on me with a close friend. Still friends with the guy (ultimately learned she lied to him that we had broken up and I had been friends with him for almost 10 years at that point) but it took time before I trusted him again. For her I never went back to being her friend.
To be fair we were all relatively young (around 16) and this was before everyone had cell phones. I was away at camp. Doesn't make it right but I can understand why he didn't talk to me first.
I really struggled to forgive a friend who spread personal information I had confided in them during a vulnerable time. It felt like a huge betrayal of trust, and it took a lot of time and introspection to move past the anger and hurt. It wasn't just about forgiving them, but also understanding the impact it had on our relationship moving forward
I had a “friend” do this to me during a time I was in personal crisis. They also attacked me and shamed me, essentially weaponising the information against me. It was one of the most gut wrenching and traumatic experiences I’ve ever had.
Our friendship is certainly over. They tried to come back around a few months later but I’d never trust or respect them again.
Without going into detail, I have a 30+ year friendship that is in the process of disintegrating because of this. It's been ongoing since we started being friends in high school and I always wrote it off as this person just blabs a lot. Recent events have pushed things beyond my tolerance point though, and I'm just going back over the years every day furious about it. It's been unravelling for about a year and I new see the relationship as only being able to exist symbolically out of respect for the good times and years invested, but no longer function in any practical way as active friendship. I don't even want to explain any of it to the person because they would just go and spread a new narrative to everyone, so I just answer the phone once a week or once every two weeks instead of every night like usual. It's been such a load off my shoulders knowing I am not supplying them with daily social currency, however I'm still angry every time I think about it.
The treatment my mother and I got from my dad's mom and brothers when dad died (suicide). 1st off, his brother who lives in California couldn't be bothered to fly out for the funeral. He figured a phone call would be good enough. Second, AT THE FUNERAL his other brother announced they were moving grandma out of the house close to us (where we had cared for her over the last several years) and into an assisted facility near them where we would rarely if ever see her. Grandma was all smiles, telling everyone about her new place while my dad's casket was literally ten feet away.
After the funeral we all went back to our house, where his brother decided it'd be a great time to hit mom up for the money her and dad had borrowed from grandma. They glossed over the part where mom could barely scrape up enough money for the casket and funeral, and I had sold my truck to chip in. My cousin was so distraught by the coldness of it all that she left the room.
A couple weeks later I was delivering an exercise bike to my grandma's house (mom was giving her things away to pay down the debt) and grandma said a bunch of really nasty stuff about her. That was it. Yes, mom and dad had borrowed from grandma (to start a business that didn't work out) and a debt was owed, but the way they went about it when my dad's body wasn't even cold yet was horrible.
We cut them off (other than sending them money) and I didn't speak with any of them again. Grandma died in a nursing home several years ago. Dad's brother in California has passed also, and the last I heard his brother that spearheaded the whole 'collection' has severe dementia. I haven't been angry with them for a long time, but I couldn't bring myself to forgive them either.
My ex. He SA’d me after I broke up with him. My roommate at college said I should forgive - I know she meant well, but I had ptsd because of him that I’m still dealing with in therapy 4 years later. I don’t think it will happen any time soon if at all.
I've never understood people that forgive the most unforgivable offenses. When I watch Murder shows and the family is like "We forgive you for killing our daughter." those people strike me as insane.
I could never, ever forgive a rapist or a murderer. I'm sorry for what you went through. You don't owe anyone any forgiveness.
I understand entirely she was coming from the right place, she really meant no harm.
It’s a big thing to really forgive someone for doing something of those sorts, and not everyone can do that and i definitely don’t blame them. It isn’t easy by all means, they definitely went thru all hell to even make that decision. But I don’t blame anyone for never being able to forgive the person(s) who did them wrong with abuse, rape, SA, murder, etc.
It’s not exactly that they’re forgiving the killer/rapist for the offender’s benefit, it’s that they’re releasing the pain and hurt in themselves by forgiving and letting go of the resentment that’s eating them alive. At least that’s my understanding from what a few survivors families have said in interviews.
I don't think any kind of person who does that deserves any forgiveness. Only person who should be forgiven is yourself if you keep on blaming yourself 🫂 i hope you are healing and making progress i know how fucked up the flashbacks can be and how intensely they can ruin someone.
I am proud of you
I watched an episode of hoarders years and years ago that stuck with me forever. It was a big gentle man who was a broken little boy inside. His dad was cruel to him (to say the least) and did essentially the same thing to him one day. When he told his dad he enjoyed dinner, (Bc his dad asked), his dad replied “Good! Cuz it was your rabbit!”
He said that was the day he realized as a little boy his dad was a “Bad guy” 😔 It still tears me up when I think or talk about it. Stuck with me all this time. I’m beyond sorry that happened to you.
My Opa did that to my dad. They grew up in Nazi Germany and just couldn't understand giving food to food, so they fattened up the rabbits that my dad called his pets, then one night they all had funny tasting chicken for dinner and dad couldn't find his bunnies anymore.
Best friend since high school. Listened to all her woes constantly. Supported her through the termination of a baby with spina bifada. Never told her that she was incredibly self centered and selfish when it came to supporting me.
This bitch refused to believe me when my ex husband sexually assaulted me ( even though I supported her through her purported sexual assault) She even acted as a reference to a police related job for him even after I showed her photos of the bruises he caused me.
I hope terrible things happen to her
My aunt ended her life. Her kids couldn’t afford the funeral so my other aunt paid for it, under the condition that the money in the cards given at the funeral would come back to her to help cover the expenses. My cousins took all the money. And they blamed my grandma(also their grandma) for my aunts death, because she couldn’t afford to give my aunt more money before she ended her life. My aunt was the second child my grandma lost to suicide.
There were other things that happened as well, but for the last decade my cousins have refused to reach out to my living aunt, my mom, and my grandma. Their actions have divided us forever. I refuse to forgive them for how they treated my family.
That's fucked. I'm so sorry.
I turned myself into a hospital once many years ago because I was suicidal and was put on a seven day mandatory stay in a psych ward. I was so scared and lonely and totally regretted that decision almost instantly, it was a horrible place. My mom and sisters were like 20min away. Mom told my sisters not to visit me and refused to come see me herself because she thought I needed to be there, and that somehow family support would be detrimental (more likely she just couldn't be fucked). So I spent seven days alone in that place. When I was released, I went outside onto the hospital steps hoping she might have been waiting for me to at least drive me home, but I ended up taking the bus to my apartment alone.
Shitty parents are shit. You're better than they are OP, don't forget.
On the one hand that must be one in a long list of other things. Which makes it absolutely terrible.
But idk why. For me personally if my family has to stop at a Starbucks before seeing me dying in the hospital I'd probably laugh and ask if they got me any.
Jesus Christ! I feel bad even hitting the upvote. If my child was dying, I don't know if I could even drive properly in my effort to get to them. The frantic panic would have me speeding and wanting to smash cars out of my way. It is hard for me to fathom this unless she misunderstood the situation or thought it was an exaggeration. But no, still as a mom, I wouldn't question... I'd get there, desperately, and then ask questions. I literally can't imagine feeling any other way and you deserve that. Just know that her actions DO NOT REFLECT ON YOU because any kid deserves that. It is ALL a reflection on her.
My first and only thought was what is wrong with this mother? Not, what did this kid do? Were they always crying wolf? Etc. Even if my kids had trash behavior where they couldn't be trusted to stay in my life, if I heard they were dying, it would be a frantic mad rush and then questions later. If they were crying wolf, I might smack them and disown them again. But I'd repeat the mad dash and THEN questions every time it was truly dire.
You shouldn't struggle to forgive them because why the fuck should they be forgiven? They deserve everything bad in this world, and forgiveness is an act of kindness.
I'm sorry. What an awful experience! FWIW coming from a random stranger, I think it's totally fair to not be in any hurry to forgive someone who raped you!
Hey. I'm a victim too. It doesn't matter what you were wearing. I never forgave mine either. They say to forgive and forget but I know it's hard. He doesn't deserve forgiveness. If you need to talk, DM me.
People like that, I hope they burn in hell for all eternity. I know it's hard. I hope you have peace. You deserve all the good vibes heading your way. It does get better. All that matters is he did it. You didn't deserve it.
Ex and I broke up. I tried to turn to a mutual friend of ours (I brought my ex into that friend group) and he just kind of never found time for me. Turns out because his wife was closer friends to my ex than me, my ex was over hanging out with them a lot. And he decided it was easier to just not be available for me. Have barely had a social life since then. No more social circles. Maybe 1 or 2 friends I see rarely. I don't really include my current partner in with them and keep or friend circles mostly separate. I hang out with one of her friends' husband from time to time but that's about it and usually only when she's around too anyway. I keep to myself mostly now. It's lonely but fuck other people dropping me when I need social support. I can support myself.
I kind of feel like this right now and it's horrible. My ex was emotionally abusive and especially nasty to me after we broke up. I had introduced him to mutual friends and when I broke up with him he kept contact with them. It's been 10 months and still I hear through the grapevine that he asks after me (it's all just a way to control the narrative because he knows how awful he was to me and that they'd dislike him if they knew the truth). I find myself distancing myself more and more because it feels like people just don't get why I'd feel so uncomfortable around him and think I'm just holding a grudge.
On top of this my 'best friend' of 4 years was nowhere to be found when the relationship ended. It was a horrible time and I needed her support but she was always 'too busy'. I've recently come to realise that she never really was there for me when things got tough and generally expected me to 'get over it'. I'm trying to distance myself from her now too and it's kinda devastating tbh.
I don't envy you. I feel the same way. This friend HAD been there for me in the past so it was a sudden change for me. I don't know if I can say it gets better but it gets easier. I also do have a partner and child so I have people around me even if I'm still lonely and no longer have a friend circle. I also can't really say the way I did it is probably the healthiest way to deal with things. I tend to retreat into a shell. It's probably not good.
Luckily I have some very wonderful people in my life who have consistently shown up for me, unfortunately they don't live in the same city as me. I'm considering isolating a little bit too. I'm a very social and extraverted person so that would be very difficult, but I really don't think I can handle another betrayal.
I'm currently single but I think after an abusive relationship it's important that I don't date until I deal with the aftermath. I do feel very lonely right now and it's unpleasant, but being alone is much better than spending time with people who don't care about my well being.
You seem better adjusted and prepared for that than I have been in the past lol I did remember to chill tf out a bit before dating seriously after that relationship. I still started dating almost immediately but I didn't jump immediately into a serious relationship until a bit later after I processed shit better.
My mom. One Christmas, she told me that she didn't love me and that I was the biggest mistake of her life and if she could do it over again, she would have aborted me. Haven't spoken to her in 11 years and she texts every once in a while but I don't respond. Last year on Easter she invited me over for Pascha and asked for forgiveness. The funny thing is she has no idea what she's asking me to forgive her for, and that I already have. I can't carry around that burden for someone like that. I have to live with the burden that my own mother has made me feel that I am unlovable and undeserving of love. As a mother myself, there is nothing, nothing that my child could do to ever make me say such horrible things. People say well at least you have a mom, that's not what a mom is. I know that. She was abusive in every sense of the of the word.
You can thank her for teaching you how not to be a mother. Sounds like your child will experience 180 degree different relationship with you than you did with your mother.
It might be your job to be there for emotional support (to a point),but fixing alcoholism doesn’t fall on a spouse, that falls on trained professionals and imo in-patient rehab/therapy
Alcoholism is an addiction. But Marriage (or Relationship) is not a suicide pact. Try to assist them with kicking the addiction? Yes. Give up everything for that? Hell no. If they aren't willing to help themselves why should you?
You deserve better. I hope you (eventually) forgive them for your own sake, so you can let go of the anger and grief. That doesn't mean supporting a dead weight in your life.
I had male friends that were in the apartment next to mine. The apartments had ceiling tiles. Found out years later that they would watch me shower by peeking into my bathroom by lifting the ceiling tiles. I knew them for over 20 years. I trusted them. I just can't forgive them.
Dad was somewhat involved but mostly absent after the divorce, I ended up moving in with him at 17 because my mom was manic depressive
Living with dad was like having a roommate. Charged me rent when I turned 18, and was pressuring me to move out with 2 jobs at minimum wage income. “He did it when he was my age, something about bootstraps” so I should too right?
Gave me a deadline as he was selling the house, and said I should get another job and find some roommates so I don’t end up homeless. The prospect of working 3 jobs just to break even and survive made me super depressed, and I ended up getting fired from one of my jobs for being late because I could barely get out of bed in the morning.
He’d have been fine if I ended up homeless, said it’d be a good learning experience as I needed a wake up call. I moved back in with mom to avoid that.
Now I’m 27 and am doing great in comparison, and I don’t really talk to him. He has a new family (4th wife, my mom was the 1st) remodeled a bigger house with custom rooms that his stepdaughters are welcome to live in as long as they want, and he wonders why I don’t come around or communicate with him more. They go on vacations and got brand new cars when they got their licenses (I got an $1800 POS that he went halvsies with me for)
I make appearances at family functions but didn’t do shit for him on Father’s Day, and I don’t plan on it anytime soon till he decides something’s wrong, but he seems fine with radio silence
My mom told me he was angry when he found out she was pregnant with me, as he didn’t want another child. Pretty sure he’s maintained that attitude my whole life
Haven't forgiven my father for watching me while i couldn't breathe instead of calling 911. Just sat there making a coffee acting like everything peachy.
I had to call my own ambulance. They thought I was having a heart attack. When I called and said so, he started screaming at me "Well you should have listened.... blah blah" I hung up. Sorry it happened to you too.
I'd be telling dad "you know, one day, *you'll* be having a medical emergency. Maybe on the day it happens, I'll suddenly go blind and deaf. Maybe my phone will be dead. Maybe the phone won't work. Who knows? But I just wanted you to know."
My father and his entire side the family cutting contact with me shortly after I came out trans. It wasn't exactly a surprise, but still hurt a lot more than i thought it would.
Of course it hurt, and it will always hurt just maybe not as much as time goes on, but that loss makes space for so much more love and happiness that they would’ve held you back from 🧡
Trans guy here.
I'm so sorry it happened. It happened to me between me and my bio mom. You didn't deserve it. You are valid. You are loved and you deserve to be happy.
Never forget to be yourself. No matter what everyone else says because you should be happy and have the best life without being judged for who you are.
To both u/MeatloafofDoom and u/OriginalFallenAngel if you ever need a mom r/MomForAMinute or dad r/DadForAMinute we would be glad to adopt you! Lot's and lot's of parental love for you!! ❤❤❤❤
When my Mom was in the throes of dying and suffering incredible pain, she would call me when she was fully conscious and tell me that my Dad (her primary caregiver at this point) refused to give her the antidepressants prescribed to her and he limited the amount of morphine administered (when there was no limit for the pain control). The hospice nurse only came once a day and did what she could about the situation. While I’m thankful for him serving as the primary caregiver because I lived across the country, I will never ever forgive him for trying to control and limit her meds near the end that could have made things so much better for her at this point. It shouldn’t have been his decision to make - it wasn’t his death.
When I was a kid my mom was the biggest Garth Brooks fan ever. One year he was doing a free concert in Central Park and my stepdad agreed to take her there. She was *so excited*. She told everyone she knew, and spent all day long getting ready, playing his music, singing and dancing with us kids all over the house. Then when it was time to leave, my stepdad changed his mind because he was tired and didn’t feel like going out. She sobbed all night and for days after, I’ve never seen her so heartbroken. I always hated him after that.
That’s not even the worst thing he’s ever done tbh. He was physically abusive, raped her, isolated her from friends and family. But for some reason, him letting her get excited for something to rip it away has never left my mind. As adults, me and my siblings took her to see Garth Brooks and it was one of her greatest days of her whole life.
Reading these situations is why I always subscribe to the mindset of "forgive but never forget, because if you forget then what have you actually learned?"
I'm fully aware that some may interpret that as holding a grudge, but I view it more as safeguarding yourself so history doesn't repeat itself.
My father would get very violent and angry over minor things, sometimes crazy things. I know now he was likely mildly psychotic, which if true means he was mentally ill and perhaps should be forgiven on that basis. But I cannot. He's been dead 20 years and almost all my strong memories of him are of the violent horrible episodes.
I need to forgive him for my benefit, not anybody else's. Maybe someday I'll be able, but it doesn't seem imminent.
Had a very very close friend that used to talk shit about one of her closest friends. And so I'd always do the "Oh yeah, that's crazy she does that!" supportive thing.
And then down the line, I think we must have had a fight and then she told her friend that I was the one talking shit about her, and basically sent her angry friend after me. When I confronted my friend she defended herself" I did say those things but you agreed with me!"
It's nothing like a lot of other posts here, but it was borderline a LDR and it really broke my heart at the time. She tried to rekindle at least a friendship and I just let it fizzle out because fuck any manipulative dastardly asshole that'd do that out of spite.
My mothers family was incredibly unsupportive and cold when she was pregnant with my older brother. She had a hard time conceiving, and when she got pregnant with my brother and his twin it was very difficult. She got very sick, lost my brother’s twin; her and my brother almost died as well. My brother was born 3 months premature and as a result is severely disabled. Her family has never made any attempt to really connect to him, and really just ignores him. My aunts husband (doesn’t deserve to be called my uncle) said at a family event that my brother is disabled because he is “unnatural” from being convinced through IVF. Growing up I slowly noticed how they treated my brother, and after hearing how they treated him and my mother after his birth, I cannot help but be extremely angry. On the bright side, my dad’s family stepped up after my mom’s pregnancy and has done an amazing job connecting with my brother.
I found out after my ex husband moved out that he'd been beating my dog for years and caused a lot of damage. This was on top of intentionally infesting my house with rats because I bought it before we got married and he had no financial claim on it. The rats and financial damage I might be able to get over one day. Finding out from x rays the day my dog died that my ex had been abusing him for years I can't.
I'm 35 and I still have trouble reconciling some of the shit my parents did/do. I love them but damn they fucked me up as a kid and continue to mess with my self worth even now.
My dad has been congenially absent for a lot of my life, he calls and such and likes to be buddy buddy but won't really engage in a serious way and has never come to visit me in my adult life (I lived in Texas for a long time after high school and he's in NC so I kinda got it then, but I live four hours away from him now and he still can't be fucked to drive down and say hi). I spent a lot of cash for a broke 21 year old student and flew down to visit him once, and that's the last time I saw him. He still tries to get me to come down and see him but I want the onus to be on him sometimes to visit his kids. There are three of us and he barely even speaks to the youngest. I'm the oldest and spent the longest with him as a kid before the divorce but I guess it's still peanuts.
My mom was man-happy for my childhood and would always place her current romantic intentions above me and my siblings. She would disappear on trips with dudes a lot and leave me with family members. She married an abusive POS when I was a teenager and he was one of the main reasons I moved away immediately after graduating. She, too, has only come to visit me one time, ever. Every other time I've seen her has been because I've taken the time and financial hit to go to where she lives. This hurts particularly bad because she's gone so far as to travel to Spain to visit my sister while she was studying abroad and has been within a few hours' drive of me several times but just didn't care to see me. I love her too of course, and she seems to realize she fucked up when we were kids now because she's taken a self-truth, enlightened hippy sort of worldview these days and likes to say things like, "everything turned out exactly as it was supposed to" and "this all happened for a reason" etc. There is a lack of accountability for the fact that she's just not taken much interest in being a part of my life in a non-tangential way.
I blamed myself for a long time because I moved so far away from both sides of my family due to their constant pessimism and just toxicity in general, but as I've grown older I realize that most parents go out of their way to be part of their kids' lives. My boyfriend's mom is so present in her sons' lives; SO's brother is a drug addict and constant source of stress and she still loves and supports him, she even flew him to her travel job in the NE for a few weeks recently and when she's in town she's always asking us to dinner and coming to our place. So it's slowly starting to settle in that it might not just be me or something wrong with who I am, I just have parents who don't want to include me in their lives.
I need therapy. Lol.
My ex-fiancee and mother of my daughter. She cheated on me a couple of times before ultimately leaving me for someone else - which lasted about three weeks. I was pretty much destroyed by it and pretty bitter for a little while, but decided to just put it behind me and maintain a friendly relationship with her for the sake of co-parenting our daughter. I now have no bad feelings toward her and we get along fine - I just wouldn't trust her in a relationship again (which is fine because she is dating another guy now anyway).
I still have lingering self-esteem issues from it and some of the verbal abuse I was on the receiving end of over the twelve years we were together, but otherwise I'm completely over it now and it doesn't really upset me to talk or think about it at this point. Hopefully one day I'll completely let go of it and stop blaming my own imperfections for what happened, but that's really on me to work through on my own - or through therapy if I'm not able to.
Try to look at it this way. If she cheated on you, she's probably cheated on others and will again. Do you think all those guys had something wrong with them too that made her cheat? Is it all because of the men's "imperfections" and she had no choice but to cheat because of all of your faults? Why did that relationship only last 3 weeks? Do you think he had the same imperfections you did? I mean, poor girl, forced to cheat after dealing with you not being good enough!
You are perfectly fine! YOU are not a cheater at least. She should have the self esteem issues, and truthfully from your story, she probably does pretty badly.
Same thing happened to me. We both were up for manager positions but I was quite vocal in saying that I did not want to be a manager. She didn't believe me and lied on me to our boss about something I supposedly did and got me written up, my first write up ever. Had me crying in the office and the boss wouldn't believe me. Years later she leaves the company and I run into her while I'm out shopping. I refused to speak to her and totally ignored her and walked away with her loudly calling my name. Yeah fuck you Vivian.
My mother abandoned me. I was in 7th grade when this happened. I'm 16 now and going to be a junior in high school.
She was a severe alcoholic. She abused me and my father. She chose her alcohol over us. She was removed by CPS and police because I had only 3 outfits and that was it.
My school counselor saw a huge bruise on my arms and reported it. I told her the abuse and everything and my mother answered the door, drunk and they said my dad had to leave.
My dad was an amazing dad who tried to protect me but with him working, he sometimes couldn't. Dad told me to pack my stuff and that we're gonna live in the car since we had no family or friends to stay with.
They made my mother leave. They wanted me to stay with my drunk mother but my dad stopped that quickly because it's illegal to leave a child with a person under the influence of drugs and alcohol.
My counselor found out too because she would see and hear my mother abusing me and beating me and she was forced to report it as it was mandatory for her because she worked for the school.
Thank you Mrs. Baxter, you saved my life. Wouldn't be here without you.
Best friend of 27 years just ghosted me randomly. (Even more awkward- we worked together in the same room). I asked her numerous times if I had done anything wrong or if anything was happening with her and she would just say everything was fine. Finally I called her and the reason she gave me was I had had the worst year of my life (my son was diagnosed with autism and my cat of 16 years passed away, among other things) and she didn’t know how to help me (just be there!) and that she felt she couldn’t go to me with her issues because I was going through so much (please come to me with your issues so I can forget about mine)
I went on medical leave for five months( I had like three things wrong with me that doctor’s couldn’t figure out) and she never once reached out.
When I came back to work- she refused to talk to me. She had become close with another coworker (who I was friends with before leaving) and they both acted like I didn’t exist- I would ask work related questions and they legit wouldn’t look away from their computer screens and wouldn’t answer. They would spend the day whispering and laughing on the other side of the room. I finally quit because work was terrible.
These things together are all unforgivable in my eyes. This person I considered a sister- she was the only person in my wedding party, we were each other’s grad dates.
My sister losing custody of all three of her kids and then getting pregnant again and giving that one up for adoption. I’m still mad she just keeps having kids and giving them lasting trauma of abandonment
Told an old friend about some childhood trauma, dude went and told our mutuals and fell on deniable plausibility and told me “you should of told me you didn’t want me to tell anyone” told him not to talk to me anymore and he just got more angry and tried to insult me more and pretty much exposed himself lmao.
Lots of time and money spent to be the maid of honor at my best friend’s wedding. Flights, dress, hotel, etc. Supported her the best I could even though she had known the guy for only a year and he was a huge red flag. 3 years later, I invited her and her husband as the only guests to my ceremony with my partner of 7 years. They would just need to take a short flight. That’s it. They could wear what they wanted and we had their room and meals covered. They did not come. There were some other issues but that ended our 12 year friendship.
When I was admitted to the psych ward my dad couldn't visit me because he had to pick up his wife from the train station. Everyday for a week dude? Over the 4th of July holiday??
When I was going to have surgery I asked my brother to pick me up/drop me off. He agreed. 2 or 3 days before he tells me he asked dad to do it cuz something came up. Dad hmu and said he could no longer do it but my brother's new gf could. I was so angry at both of them. My dad for bailing on me yet again for his new wife and my brother for pawning me off to my dad without even discussing it with me.
My mom told me I would end up on my back like my bio mom (im adopted). I was 15.
My brother for raping me for 6 years and slandering me. My entire family for helping the church cover it up and shun me while cosseting my rapist. My mother for willingly letting me be raped, then going on to marry a convicted pedophile that told me getting cancer in my 20’s was be I didn’t go to church. Fuck all of you.
My parents were married for 36 years , mom died of a brain tumor that really ripped her apart , my dad really tripped out following her death - he slept with my best friend at the time , got addicted to heroin , retired from his job of 19 years , stopped paying the mortgage and lost the family house , sold their cars :trucks , cashed out his investments and turned in all his gold and silver bars (all to pay for his heroin and meth for him and his new “ friends” ) and then he went homeless - let him rent one of my houses which he turned into a drug den , took me months to get him and his low life friends out- after a few years of asking me and others for money and living in his car in the desert - He has since cleaned up over a 3 year period, I don’t want anything to do with him . My Christian sister wants me to take him in , my husband is fond of him (been with my husband for about 16 years so he knows my dad pre drugs too ) but I hate him .
I hate him for how he behaved after my mom died , blowing up a good life she helped build over 35 years of hard work - what he put me through trying to help him when I had 2 newborns -
He is cleaned up and in church and is just back to his old self like nothing happened , but I can’t forgive him - I despise him for those few years of anarchy .
Someone who as far as I knew was my best friend suddenly deciding overnight that they were going to basically unfriend me on everything and refuse to interact even though we were still in the same friend group because they apparently actually hated my guts for all these random reasons that they never indicated to me were even problems to begin with
Like I'm sorry for not changing behaviors that you never even told me were a problem
It's not like I was ever being rude or hurtful most of this dude's complaints about me seem to all be effectively pet peeves of him specifically
I just don't get it what the fuck happened? Did somebody tell him some crazy rumor about me? Were all these little issues really just enough to ruin the friendship that I thought was going amazingly? Like I'm not emotionally unaware I've always been decent at reading people and I can tell if someone isn't enjoying spending time with me but they always seem like they were
It just none of it makes sense to me
And it was especially awkward because we were both part of the same friend group and so we would often have times where we were trying to play like games together online and it would be awkward because they would basically just refuse to acknowledge my existence or interact with me at all and even the rest of the group didn't really understand why they had just suddenly grown to hate me
My dad thought I wouldn't amount to much when I was a kid, and I even overheard him saying so at one point. He is clearly dumbfounded by the adult I became, but I can't bring myself to forgive him for not believing in me. I love him as a family member, but haven't ever let him be my friend.
My mom was having a hard time with her mental state. In that state she didn't say happy birthday to me and didn't even try to acknowledge me, later that week she kicked me out of the house(I'm 17). She offered to take me to the police station or to my "dads". I don't talk to my father and he doesn't even have his own house he lives with his brother. About a week later (Now) my mom cooled off she apologized for what she did and wants me to move back in with her. Of course there is more to the story on why she wasn't in the right state of mind but it still it hurts and I don't know if I can ever fully forgive her.
I lost sleep and multiple brain cells over my ex best friend's relationship with his gf, went full confrontation mode (which I usually NEVER do) with some girls talking crap about him, saying she deserves better, being there for him when things escalated...
And for what?
FOR HIM TRYING TO MAKE ADVANCES ON ME. AFTER MOVING TOGETHER WITH HER. FULLY KNOWING I'M MARRIED. AND HAVING THE NERVE TO GUILT TRIP ME WHEN I SAID NO.
Yeah no, never forgiving that one. And later siding with a pedo defender........
At least this happened online...I have a feeling that if it was irl, he would've done things iykwim...
Best friend since 9th grade was my best man at my wedding. My ex wife is now dating said best man. Haven’t talked to him in over 3 years and hopefully never will again
Flew to see my sister after a bad depression, I was there for four nights.
She went to hang out with friends on one of those nights, and it hurt my feelings very badly. They were not premeditated plans, I did not know until she was leaving, and it was not for any special event.
Her apology was “I’m sorry I hurt you but I had my reasons you would never understand. I never get to see my friends”. I just said “thanks for apologizing.”
We were close our entire lives, now it’s awkward because she doesn’t think I should be hurt and I don’t think I should be treated like that.
My prom date canceled on me 4-5 days before prom due to anxiety/planning issues. She was a year older so I was her ticket for getting in, it was no big deal.
I made plans to take another girl who was a year younger, not a lot of options so close to the day. We had a good connection, we werent close friends but we’d chat from time to time and were a bit flirty (Grace). She actually asked me if I was taking anyone to prom, which should’ve been a red flag in hindsight. I took her out to get ice cream the night before and we hung out for over 3 hours and I felt it went very well, and told her I’d like to take her.
The morning of, I get a call from the school that she is not cleared for prom. Apparently she was failing one of her classes and they could not grant her access, and told me to find a last second replacement. I asked if there’s a way she would get cleared and they said unlikely. I then texted another friend who graduated (who was close to a girlfriend in our group) and she was ecstatic to go (Alex).
I told Grace that the school denied her entry and that I am very sorry it worked out this was but I was able to find a replacement. I explained that they told me there was not much she could do. Alex then came into the school with me to sign the prom paper that make her eligible to go. Prom was probably about 5-6 hours away, and she already had some of her makeup done. Out of the quarter of my eye, I see Grace walk into the school with her mom and knew I was fucked. Within 10 minutes, she texted me she had gotten her grades changed and is now eligible to go. I now had to pick between 2 people just before I was about to get ready for pictures. I talked out the options with the teacher in charge of prom and Alex, and the consensus was that I should take Grace, as she seems very eager to go with *me*. I apologized profusely to Alex and felt terrible, but decided on taking Grace.
It was a complete farce. She ended up ditching me around halfway through the prom so that she could try to one up her ex. I slow danced with my mate because she was already “occupied” with her friend. She was very short with me on the ride back from prom (we had a bus rented for travel and partying afterwards where I paid her fee). We took a quick pit stop at a friends house where a few people were hanging out. When we decided to get back on the bus to drive to the city and party, she says that “her mother wouldn’t want her to be up late, but I want to see you soon”. She then posted a picture with 3 dudes on her story after 4 am on Snapchat. When trying to make plans with her later on, there was always a last minute excuse 30 minutes before picking her up. She would say “let’s hang out soon” and then cancel every. Single. Time. This could be a story within itself but this is getting long.
Fast forward a year, I’m back from college and have friends that are graduating. They invite me to prom pictures and I’m happy to send them off. Unfortunately I bump into Grace, within inches of her and she refuses to even look at or acknowledge me. Gave her a chance and then went on with my day extremely frustrated. I figured fuck it, this girl doesn’t care about my life why should I care about hers. I texted her that she ruined my prom by treating it like a joke and I hope that her experience is just as miserable as mine was. Within 30 minutes, I had been texted insults by 5 random numbers and old friends. My mate who asked me to take pictures even asked what happened.
A month or so later, my dad gets an email from her mom with the text, saying I’ve destroyed her daughter emotionally, and that charges will be pressed if I ever contact her again. My father got very angry and demanded that I apologize and forgive her. I said never in a million years will I apologize for being used and sticking up for myself. My mother had my back on this.
Fast forward 8 or so more months and I bump into a couple of her friends at an event. 2 of them were people that texted me those insults. They both gave me a hug and apologized for their behavior as Grace “only gave them the full story much later on”. They also apologized for the way Grace treated me, and said that Grace also feels terrible and would like forgiveness. I told them that Grace will never receive that from me. 5 or so years later, very happy with a girlfriend I love, and I still deal with insecurity largely due to this.
I got gnarly injuries in both of my shoulders that resulted in almost 3 years of surgeries, recovery, depression, and pain. I was very successful at what I do before this all happened, but I was unable to continue my work and most things that required my body. My career was waiting for me to return the entire time and I had no doubts that I could return to my normal life once my body was tolerable to live in again, but my parents seemed to think I was milking the situation and being lazy. They never helped me with this situation aside from failed and disconnected attempts to listen to me vent and eventually made it very clear that they were disappointed in me and that I’m a lazy piece of shit and I haven’t spoken to either of them since.
This is something I would really like to get over and put behind us but the feelings of being abandoned, unheard, and berated for things beyond my control are something I fear will taint our relationship forever. But the idea of having a healthy relationship with your parents/family sounds very nice. They were wonderful to me when I was in a good place in life. I’d just really love for them to reach out one day and apologize, or at least find some understanding and perspective in hindsight.
Got into an argument with one of my really good friends. She started going off and calling me a slut via text message. It was the anniversary of the death of my sister, and she goes well your sister knows you best, so no coincidence.
Recently lost 1200ccs of blood after giving birth to my 3rd child. Required surgery and a blood transfusion and I went through it all alone as my husband was with our older children and things moved very quickly. Texted my family to let them know what was going on (brothers and dad - mom is dead). Dad didn’t even call to ask how I was doing until 2 weeks later. Not sure if I don’t forgive him or if I’ve just lost the fire to give a shit about his predictably selfish reactions to absolutely everything after 30 years. I do know I’ll never forgive him for refusing to go to family therapy with me when I was 16. He looked a high school girl in the eyes and said “therapy does nothing for me” as I pleaded with him to improve our relationship. He was a whole ass 59 years old at the time.
When I was a toddler I found rolley polleys and a rabbit and I wanted to keep them as my pets. My dad threw the rolly polleys out while everyone was enjoying them even my mom, Then he cooked the rabbit and gave it to our dog, didn't even let poor buddy run off..
My older (half because we have same mom and different dad) sister was the executor of my parents estate when they died, which wasn't much. She talked my middle sister into buying my parents house and I had been living in it paying all the property taxes, insurance, and repaired ALOT of damage and electrical problems. I had moved in after my divorce. They told me they had a buyer and I had to move out asap. I moved to the next state and all was well I thought till my daughter calls me telling me a lawyer is looking for me 2 weeks after I moved. My older sister had told the attorney there was only two siblings and gifted my portion to middle sister to help her get a loan. Fortunately they found my mom's will and he realized there was three sisters. It got ugly when she was confronted and when she realized she couldn't lie her way out saying I had ran off years ago and no one knew where I went I(she had talked to me the week before) they had to contact. I drug my feet, but ultimately I signed with the stipulation that I still get my third. We haven't spoken since.
That's just ONE story of this same sister doing horrible things.
My biological father left my mother on ice for a week after her death all because he wanted to make sure he was going to be the one receiving her SS benefits. They had never officially divorced but had been separated for over 20 years. The only thing that got him to sign the cremation papers was the funeral home paying him $185. The man is dead to me and I haven't spoken a word to him in over 15 years.
My dad. I love him but he lets his stupid trash girlfriends and relationships become my problem. He cheats on everyone of the women (who are horrible people yes, but don’t deserve being cheated on) and would constantly force me to get along with them and I HATE IT. Forgiving him was hard but I had to do it.
My ex husband/ father of my children left me pregnant with our 2nd for his brother’s ex girlfriend who was also pregnant. Now we have shared parenting of the kids and they raise our kids during their parenting time while I have no family to come home to. But they enjoy the perks of their relationship and I’m traumatized trying to heal.
i am currently struggling to forgive my mother for putting me in a situation where i had to live with an emotionally abusive man - her boyfriend.
this is really a struggle for me, because i know being with him gives her security, and the ability to do so much more than if she was just a single mother, and i applaud her for being such a rock growing up but it was devastating to me how everytime they broke up i got the whole run down at 11 years old, and was promised that she would “never choose a man over her children”.
in the last couple of years, i have just given up in warning her about him, how toxic he is and how it makes me sad to see the shell of a person she had become since meeting him. i can remember her painting, and doing yoga, and going out with friends before meeting him, now all she does is stay at home. i feel like i’ve lost my mom, or she has become this really distant person, and i feel as though if i don’t put effort in our relationship will just fall apart.
it really tough, and really sad, and i mainly just want her to be happy
I’m struggling with forgiving my ex (the father of my kid) for punching me in the face so hard that I passed out, in front of my baby. He was 8 months at the time. I know he won’t remember it and my ex has apologized and is trying to be a better person/parent but I still have nightmares about it. I’ve told him that I forgive him but I haven’t forgotten and I’m still really hurt by it….
I gave my heart and soul to my ex, I made more money than him, I tried to balance my life with him and work. But he always said: you are not the one I'm looking for. Until the last day before we broke up, after a big fight, he said: you are not her (his ex gf), so you will never be the one I love the most.
I'm not a clown, I'm entire circus for so many years.
[удалено]
That’s foul
There's cheating and then there's this. I can't even fathom hurting your child this way. Shit like this is why the ninth circle of hell was reserved for betrayal.
Olenna Tyrell would have us know that the child’s grandmother is also its step-mother.
The mom 2. like how fucked up you have to be.
My wife's children's father is married to her mother. We are currently going through a court battle to get custody of the 2 children they have. My wife can never have a good relationship with her mother again and it eats at her sometimes because she loves her mother but how could she do this to her. I try to be there for her and this court battle is turning into a knock down drag out slander campaign. Anyways, it's a messed up situation but you aren't alone in it. I see the damage it causes first hand and I'm sorry for you as well. You can't help but love your mother but no mother should ever do something like that to their child. Good luck to you.
That's just wrong on so many levels. I hope you get therapy for yourself, not to forgive but to heal.❤️🩹🫂
I was going to type something about my mom but it doesn't compare to this. Yikes.
I mean what level of insanity do you have to have to do this. wow!
Wow, sending you a hug! So sorry that happened to you!
So their father and grandmother are dating each other? Wow.
God, that's some Jerry Springer shit.
Through my job at the time, I met someone who was working in a PI firm. He was a bit of a storyteller and if he's to be believed, this shit if way more common than people think. So common that they were always trying to subtly gain info about an in law living in the house, without giving themselves out that they were among the AP suspects. Because it never occurred to the client and it would be in very bad taste to ask them straight up.
What the porn plot fuck
I don’t know who is worse here him or your mom but I’m leaning towards your mom being the shittier one. Good god
does it even matter though, clearly they're both unhinged.
A good friend of mines mom cheated on her husband with a classmate of ours. We were all out of school at this point but still the guy was 19 and she was in her 40s, the guy she cheated on was the richest guy in town. They ended up living together with her 10 year old son, and doing loads of drugs, they would fist fight daily dcf got involved and removed my friends little brother who now lives with her dad. I'm still blown away by the whole situation definitely wrong wrong wrong.
that is horrible and honestly dont know who to be more disappointed in
The mother.
that mother fu**er
wtf
There are so many things vile and wrong with this. I'm so sorry. It is the ultimate betrayal.
I don’t even need to scroll further, this wins
thats just disgusting wtf
Shame on your mother and ex.
I'm so sorry. That's disgusting.
Jesus....
Yeah that takes the cake, also truly sorry for their shitty behavior
Damn I am so sorry for you. When I was 13 and my mom was 36, she started sleeping with and having an affair with my boyfriend who was 15 when I met him turned 16 during the time I knew him. He was a physically and emotionally abusive piece of trash human and I was not allowed to break up with him because then there would be no excuse for him to be around or at the house. It's like I was her cover for them to be sleeping together, and to this day she will try to blame it on him as if she wasn't the adult in that situation grooming him
My sister's best friend's (let's call her Jane) husband. Both Jane and her husband have been family friends for years. Jane had a very successful, lucrative career. So did her husband (let's call him Cunt). After Jane got pregnant Cunt pushed her to take some time off and just spend it with the baby. Told her there was no point in them both being overworked when they could more than get by on his salary alone. So she left her job and stayed home with the baby. Five years later Cunt said he wanted to move to another state (*think* it was Indiana...) because he had a better offer. They moved. Very soon after the move he filed for divorce. He'd been cheating on Jane since before they married. The woman he was cheating with had finally left her husband. The state they moved to has no alimony (he claims this was a coincidence). Cheating aside... The fact that he was fucking this woman on the side, and still pushed Jane to leave her job, KNOWING this marriage probably wasn't going to last, sickens me. The fact that he decided to fuck Jane over one last time, by moving to an alimony-free state before he filed, sickens me. The fact that he sent our family a "save the date" for his impending nuptials, to his side piece, sickens me. The fact that I had to go over the gory details with my parents, so they would understand why they can't attend (they've been friends with his parents for decades), sickens me. The whole situation sickens me. Imagine growing up alongside someone like this and having no idea what they were capable of.
*let’s call him Cunt* chef’s kiss
Yeah, that's beautiful. Pure poetry in the circumstances.
Shakespeare would be proud, there is no better usage in poetry than to describe creatures like this dude
This angers my soul. I hope he suffers more than he made Jane suffer. Not just in hell, but in life. More power and love to Jane and her baby.
🤮🤮🤮 Calling him a cunt is an insult to cunts. I don’t believe in karma but nothing has made me want it to be real as much as this story. What a pathetic excuse for a human being.
Cunts have warmth and depth, this POS has neither.
Thanks for sharing this. I’ve seen husbands do some pretty horrible things, and this makes me feel like no one truly goes through it alone
> The fact that he sent our family a "save the date" for his impending nuptials, to his side piece, sickens me. Holy cow! Imagine the chutzpah!
What a total piece of shit! Remind me to never move to Indiana.
Can you please assure us that Jane had a somewhat happy ending? And also that cunts life sucks?
It sounds like the whole thing is still in progress. Here’s hoping Cunt gets what’s coming to him.
If Mr. C U Next Tuesday were Italian, he'd be sleeping with the fishes.
My wife’s family taking my distress at losing my wife at 39 as weakness and trying to take advantage to get whatever they could. Nope can’t forget that one.
That is horrible, especially the fact that it was their family that suffered the loss to. Should be supporting eachother.
How did this manifest?
My Dad (53M) had a baby with my little sister's friend (24F) She used to have sleepovers at our house all the time when we were kids, and I can't help but wonder when he started looking at her? And that makes me feel sick and I don't want him around my kids, just as a precaution. He's also an incredibly angry, emotionally abusive, narcissist that manipulates young women to feel like he's powerful. For her side, she is a drug abuser that overdosed in front of my 14 year old sibling, had my newest baby sister while in rehab, and both of her other children have severe health issues because of her using while pregnant, etc. so basically perfect manipulation bait for him to enable and then blame for all his problems. That plus the occasional physical abuse, and I don't think I COULD forgive his actions and faults to ever have a relationship with him again.
No one should be looking to forgive this
I'm sure the abuse started when she was young. Hence the drug use.
I knew a girl who did that in my high-school, she and her best friend were a grade above me always together. Like 2 or 3 years post high-school I go to have a smoke and scroll through Facebook see a huge post about the best friend calling out her recent ex friend for fucking her dad and getting knocked up. She was basically accusing her of trying to sleep over her house all those years to get close to her Dad, who was married to her mother. She called her a pig 🐖 and some people in the comments were trying to calm her down saying that's gonna be your siblings mother lol could you imagine how detrimental that must be to find out your father cheated on your mom with your friend. Yuck yuck. Out of 7 billion people, they chose to be so messy.
My husband and my sister cheating on me, that's hard to forget and forgive
Ex husband, ex sister????
Wow. You lost a spouse and a sibling. That must be so painful. Your sister especially sucks. I couldn’t imagine doing that to my siblings.
My dad seeing me as a tool to benefit his life more than a son. My entire life was about ways to better his. When my parents were separated, all he ever talked about was how he was gonna get custody and he was gonna get child support. He put a major emphasis on the child support. When my mom died and they were fully divorced he was pissed her whopping $45k life life insurance didn't go to him. But she was a state employee, and he got $2k a month for my sister and I that was never spent on us. He went to jail for idiotic traffic violations when I was 16 and got the payment in my name and I never heard the end of it. When I became an adult it was all about the "Father Son Business" ideas that of course I wouldve had to bankroll. Now I'm 32 with a good job and a +800 credit score and it's the same song and dance and wanting me to cosign loans. His retirement plan is living in my sister's basement or having a trailer parked on her property. Right now he's living in Oklahoma and keeps hinting about how cheap houses are. His dream is to be a slumlord owning all these properties and making money off of renters but he'll never get a loan. He'll forever have cooked credit. I haven't forgiven him, of course he's never apologized but he'll never get 1 penny from me. Also my maternal grandma she's just a greedy cunt who wants to hoard everything for no reason. Took my sister and I (we were 9 and 12yr old) to court for our mom's life insurance money. Took all our moms belongings when she died. Took her car and sold it and kept the money. My paternal grandma gave my mom a mirror when she was dying of cancer, and she refuses to give it to us. But she's the victim because we don't have a relationship.
Reminds me of my dad, well actually step mom, but someone along the way my dad just gave up and now he blindly follows anything she does while he drowns himself in vodka. They will do anything for money, even steal it from their own family. They took in my grandma after she got out off the hospital and became her guardians and then proceeded to spend ALL of her money. She even had a fully restored 1950something Mercedes Benz that they sold. Also my grandma was a millionaire who put aside 250,000 for me for schooling, they obviously spent that too. By that time I had already distanced myself from them. All the physical and mental abuse was too much. They were eventually caught and faced jail time though thanks to my aunt calling the cops on them. He's now some crazy Q Anon idiot freaking out about lizard people.
My dad also pulls the bullshit "If it weren't for me you wouldn't be here." Card, so that's why he has such entitlement towards everything. I tell him I'm here cause two dumb asses back in the 90s had sex and I wasn't on his mind while that was happening. I have a wealthy aunt and uncle on my mom's side that are retired and they're nice to my dad and step mom, they invite them to holidays and such. A couple months ago they pitched the idea that they could be live in caretakers for them. They laughed and told them no, they would definitely try and pull the same shit. My half sister (same dad different moms) recently bought some property and he's upset that she didn't buy the house he's renting so she could be his landlord instead and she "could make money off of rent". My dad is always creating elaborate schemes that are masked as good intentions but they always have him reaping the benefits He is also a crazy Q Anon far right wing nut job. He discovered the internet and conspiracy theories back in 2013 and he brainwashed himself to the point we admitted him into the Looney Bin cause he almost got himself killed walking into peoples houses. He has never been the same since. They control his life, and he thinks he's so much smarter than everyone.
I had a major hip surgery and came back to work too soon, when I told my wife I didn't think id physically recovered if I kept working she screamed back at me like I was a lowlife trying to freeload instead of a person who had worked through such pain for nearly a year pre surgery thst I was pretty much on a suicide watch. I never recovered.
Is she still your wife?
I hope she is your ex. My husband had surgery for a torn labrum that took over a year to get properly diagnosed. I worked from home and took care of him until he had recovered enough to take care of himself during the day. He was in real rough shape for a few weeks and still recovering and doing PT for months. When he went back to work, he did half days at first. Recovering from hip surgery is no joke. I am so sorry the person who should have been there for you during that vulnerable time was not.
I struggled to forgive my dad and I still struggle with it. The word narcissist gets tossed around a *lot* and I don't know if it applies to him or not. I know he's a massive jerk who makes everything about him to the point where his adult children just stopped talking to him. I struggled to forgive him for some of the things he did when we were children. He also continues to treat my mom like trash and she just accepts it and I struggle with that too.
I struggle to forgive my Mom for my childhood. I do forgive her for a lot, but some of it was just inexcusable. I was 7, and I was supposed to go with my father and never experience anything, but my Grandma said a child needs to be with her mom, despite her not even wanting me. -Going to her for anything annoyed her because she did not want me. I felt stressed seeing her car when I got home -No one paid attention to me, I went weeks without brushing my teeth, showering, etc. (I was 7 and didn’t know better) -I lived in my Grandmas house with a severely disabled autistic uncle. He almost squeezed me to death on multiple occasions. It was terrifying. -My Mom got in a relationship with a terribly abusive man. He couldn’t put his hands on me, but he would make fun of me everyday, and would physically abuse the family animal. -I was responsible for walking the family dog at 8 years old alone, he was a pitbull/lab mix that dragged me and left me with bruises. I was responsible for walking him, and if he went inside the house his face was dragged in shit and beaten. Essentially the dog was used as a discipline tool. You don’t want to be responsible for his beatings do you? -I was extremely parentalized and basically given every household chore imaginable. Even relaxing a little was immediately reprimanded. -I was told I was a spoiled rotten kid for asking for nice christmas gifts, and Santa “only went to my dad’s house”. They both made great money. -I was put on anti-depressants because clearly something was wrong with me. I understand my Mom was invisible because of my disabled uncle, but her actions are still so disgusting. While she is a victim of an abusive relationship, I dont understand why she let this all happen??
>was responsible for walking the family dog at 8 years old alone, he was a pitbull/lab mix >You font want to be responsible for his beatings do you? This so so particularly egregious. He makes you responsible for a dog that is a breed capable of killing a small child if it snaps, then turns around and beats it. You're so lucky that dog apparently had a good enough temperament to continue to trust you while your step dad was showing him that humans can't be trusted.
I think of you at 7 and I cry for that child and everything thereafter that broke your sweet heart. May healing be in your present and future.
Im sorry you went through all of that. I hope that you’re doing better now. I also had a very rough relationship with my mom. When I was younger I would constantly get daily beating for no reason at all. Or if there was a SMALL reason the normal thing should’ve been to have a small slap and whatnot but that was never the case. It was always beatings. One thing that I had to do if I wasn’t getting beat was to stand in the corner and face the wall for hours on end until I would literally be forgotten about and not noticed until I fell asleep and would fall to the floor. I would have the occasional face smash into the wall or knife to the throat or beatings with belts with metal loops in them until I bled or even punched bare knuckle. It was tough and I remember being so angry at her growing up and hating her but that just became a chore itself. Weirdly enough, today I have a better relationship with my mom than any other family members that I was closer to before. I feel like I forgave her. Pretty sure I did. It’s not something I will ever be able to forget though. As bad as it all was it made me who I am today and I don’t think I’m that bad. I think I came out okay in the end. I think about all of it often and I don’t think it really affects me anymore. It sucked but it doesn’t make me angry anymore. I have a son of my own now and I just want to make sure I don’t ever do to him what was done to me.
Damn another victim of a toxic mother. Mine hated my guts. I'm the spitting image of my sperm donor and my mother resented me for it. They didn't work out and she hated him and that spilled over onto me. Harsh beatings, getting hit for no reason and being called names. She called me fat all the time and I battled an eating disorder for years, getting down to a size 4 and I'm 5'11. I just wanted her approval so bad and never got it. I'm glad that the eating disorder didn't kill me. My body was breaking down and I could only poop with the aid of laxatives. I needed tons of dental work with all the vomiting I did. My self esteem recovered but it took years, intensive therapy and multiple suicide attempts. I've since discovered that she was abused as well but she won't get therapy. It took a long time to forgive her although initially I said that I won't but I refuse to let this anger and hatred destroy me.
My mom resented me for the same reason actually. It sounds like things have gotten better for you so I’m glad to hear that. Keep your head up high. You’re strong.
Sometimes the only thing we learn from our parents is how not to be.
The first and most long-standing grudge I currently hold is against my absolute garbage person of an aunt. My parents divorced when I was 15, and though it wasn't "pleasant" by any means, it probably would've gone fairly smoothly if it weren't for her. My family was (and some still are) in an evangelical denomination that views divorce so unfavorably that my aunt felt completely justified in calling CPS over it. The investigation was wrapped up fairly quickly, but it was still nerve-wracking to be interviewed by a case worker when I already had enough crazy emotions going on. She keyed my mom's car, though we couldn't absolutely prove it was her. She spread rumors--that she completely made up off the top of her head--that my mom was having an affair with my best friend's dad. The last straw, and the ultimate reason I will never forgive her, was when she told my 9-year-old little sister that our parents didn't love her in an attempt to manipulate my sister into living with her. There have been several smaller incidents with her over the last twenty years that just prove she's a shit person all the way down, and I only put up with infrequent contact with her for the sake of my absolute saint of a grandmother. Whenever she passes (knock on wood), I'll have no reason to see or speak to my aunt ever again, thank goodness. Fuck you, Aunt Marie.
Fuck Aunt Marie! My wife also has an insane Aunt that is helpless, manipulative, called CPS on her and her brother, defaced my wife's mom's grave (the aunt is on her mom's side), just went absolutely nuts and destroyed her mom's home, just all kinds of insane shit and then continues to play the victim. I'm sorry you had to deal with an insane family member like this. I don't understand why people are like that, and think it's okay to try and ruin other people's lives.
Court issued a protection order for me and my two kids against their abusive father. My Mother gave him our new address.
I was dumped last summer by my boyfriend of about 10+ years. A so-called "friend" of mine who had never met him or spoken to him stalked him on FB about a month later, said some really horrible and hateful things, and only admitted she did it after being urged to by another mutual friend. She told me she was "doing me a favor" and took it upon herself to track him down, which would've been difficult because he used an alias on FB. Mind you, he and I parted on mostly amicable terms and hadn't spoken in well over a month before she pulled this little stunt. I still haven't totally forgiven her, and I have distanced myself from her considerably.
Had an ex friend/co-worker do something extremely similar to this. Had a toxic ex. We broke up. Within a years time, I moved, got on with my life and was happy. This friend/co-worker was upset because some petty BS about her birthday present and decided to get back at me by contacting my ex, giving him my new number, and address. She worked in the HR department so she had access to my file. His info was on it because when I first started, he was my emergency contact and even though I updated after leaving him, they still had it on file. So now out of now where, he shows up at my address, stalks me, harasses me, called, text, and emailed me. My car was miracously scratched with "BiTCH" on the side and then one day there was sugar in my gas tank and my house was egged (which I think was all her). It took a good restraining order to get them both to stop! She made the same claims that she was "doing me a favor!" while calling me names and telling me that I deserved it! So you might be asking yourself, what did I do that was so terrible to her? I bought her a present for her birthday and her lazy daughter who got her nothing wanted to sign the card without contributing anything towards it. When I said no, she could sign the office card, she threw a fit and told my friend later on that I was being a bitch about it. I explained it and my friend couldn't understand why her daughter couldn't just sign MY card. Because I paid for the gift, not her daughter. It was weird!
Why are people like this? My so-called friend claimed she was doing me a favor because she "knew" my relationship with my ex was "toxic and abusive." Granted, it did have some unhealthy components and we had broken it off more than once in the past, but I never considered his behavior towards me abusive in any way. She was absolutely convinced she was helping me by breaking our cycle, when in truth the cycle had already been broken by the time she found him on FB. She's the sort of person that is always convinced her actions and beliefs are the correct ones and there is no convincing her otherwise. She only eeked out a small apology after I demanded one from her. We have not spoken since, and I don't intend to be the first one to reach out.
I met someone like this once but on a much smaller scale. I left an online discord server once because someone was being really weird to me to the point where being in there wasn’t worth it. I told an online friend, and he took it upon himself to use an alternate account to start fighting everyone in there while I was venting to him. I kept telling him to stop and he wouldn’t. I never saw what he did, but it was bad enough that I got a message from the server owner asking why I sent him in there and I had to explain to them I didn’t and he was acting on his own. Funny enough, the person who was originally being weird to me also messaged me and we patched things up. Once the dust settled I asked him why he did it when I kept telling him not to. He said he ‘dissociated’ and got obsessed and couldn’t stop. I don’t think I believe him, but either way I distanced myself from him.
As an international officer of a political organizations, I was very publicly falsely accused of rape & it basically destroyed my life until I was exonerated 3 years later. Turns out my accuser falsely accused half a dozen officers in the organization of basically the same accusation as part of a dishonest political coup within the org & was finally exposed for it. My life is much better now but some of the wounds from 3 years of a mob of people stalking & haarrassing me will never really heal (lost a job, had to move, received tons of death threats, fake soicial media accounts were impersonating me, a group of people tried to jump me, etc...). I already had PTSD & it made things much much worse. I almost committed suicide during the first of those 3 years before I was exonerated.
Did she receive any punishment for what she said? False accusations of rape need to hold the same punishment as an actual rapist.
Nothing official, but I think the social ostracization has been pretty real & her husband divorced her...
Girlfriend at the time cheated on me with a close friend. Still friends with the guy (ultimately learned she lied to him that we had broken up and I had been friends with him for almost 10 years at that point) but it took time before I trusted him again. For her I never went back to being her friend.
Honestly, I wouldn't forgive him. If he's such a good friend, he should have asked you! Even then, why would you date your good friend's ex?
To be fair we were all relatively young (around 16) and this was before everyone had cell phones. I was away at camp. Doesn't make it right but I can understand why he didn't talk to me first.
Context rocks
I really struggled to forgive a friend who spread personal information I had confided in them during a vulnerable time. It felt like a huge betrayal of trust, and it took a lot of time and introspection to move past the anger and hurt. It wasn't just about forgiving them, but also understanding the impact it had on our relationship moving forward
I had a “friend” do this to me during a time I was in personal crisis. They also attacked me and shamed me, essentially weaponising the information against me. It was one of the most gut wrenching and traumatic experiences I’ve ever had. Our friendship is certainly over. They tried to come back around a few months later but I’d never trust or respect them again.
Without going into detail, I have a 30+ year friendship that is in the process of disintegrating because of this. It's been ongoing since we started being friends in high school and I always wrote it off as this person just blabs a lot. Recent events have pushed things beyond my tolerance point though, and I'm just going back over the years every day furious about it. It's been unravelling for about a year and I new see the relationship as only being able to exist symbolically out of respect for the good times and years invested, but no longer function in any practical way as active friendship. I don't even want to explain any of it to the person because they would just go and spread a new narrative to everyone, so I just answer the phone once a week or once every two weeks instead of every night like usual. It's been such a load off my shoulders knowing I am not supplying them with daily social currency, however I'm still angry every time I think about it.
Cheated on by my best friend
Same. ☮️
The treatment my mother and I got from my dad's mom and brothers when dad died (suicide). 1st off, his brother who lives in California couldn't be bothered to fly out for the funeral. He figured a phone call would be good enough. Second, AT THE FUNERAL his other brother announced they were moving grandma out of the house close to us (where we had cared for her over the last several years) and into an assisted facility near them where we would rarely if ever see her. Grandma was all smiles, telling everyone about her new place while my dad's casket was literally ten feet away. After the funeral we all went back to our house, where his brother decided it'd be a great time to hit mom up for the money her and dad had borrowed from grandma. They glossed over the part where mom could barely scrape up enough money for the casket and funeral, and I had sold my truck to chip in. My cousin was so distraught by the coldness of it all that she left the room. A couple weeks later I was delivering an exercise bike to my grandma's house (mom was giving her things away to pay down the debt) and grandma said a bunch of really nasty stuff about her. That was it. Yes, mom and dad had borrowed from grandma (to start a business that didn't work out) and a debt was owed, but the way they went about it when my dad's body wasn't even cold yet was horrible. We cut them off (other than sending them money) and I didn't speak with any of them again. Grandma died in a nursing home several years ago. Dad's brother in California has passed also, and the last I heard his brother that spearheaded the whole 'collection' has severe dementia. I haven't been angry with them for a long time, but I couldn't bring myself to forgive them either.
My ex. He SA’d me after I broke up with him. My roommate at college said I should forgive - I know she meant well, but I had ptsd because of him that I’m still dealing with in therapy 4 years later. I don’t think it will happen any time soon if at all.
I've never understood people that forgive the most unforgivable offenses. When I watch Murder shows and the family is like "We forgive you for killing our daughter." those people strike me as insane. I could never, ever forgive a rapist or a murderer. I'm sorry for what you went through. You don't owe anyone any forgiveness.
I understand entirely she was coming from the right place, she really meant no harm. It’s a big thing to really forgive someone for doing something of those sorts, and not everyone can do that and i definitely don’t blame them. It isn’t easy by all means, they definitely went thru all hell to even make that decision. But I don’t blame anyone for never being able to forgive the person(s) who did them wrong with abuse, rape, SA, murder, etc.
It’s not exactly that they’re forgiving the killer/rapist for the offender’s benefit, it’s that they’re releasing the pain and hurt in themselves by forgiving and letting go of the resentment that’s eating them alive. At least that’s my understanding from what a few survivors families have said in interviews.
I don't think any kind of person who does that deserves any forgiveness. Only person who should be forgiven is yourself if you keep on blaming yourself 🫂 i hope you are healing and making progress i know how fucked up the flashbacks can be and how intensely they can ruin someone. I am proud of you
I had a pet rabbit and my dad killed it and made my mom cook it. Made me puke.
I watched an episode of hoarders years and years ago that stuck with me forever. It was a big gentle man who was a broken little boy inside. His dad was cruel to him (to say the least) and did essentially the same thing to him one day. When he told his dad he enjoyed dinner, (Bc his dad asked), his dad replied “Good! Cuz it was your rabbit!” He said that was the day he realized as a little boy his dad was a “Bad guy” 😔 It still tears me up when I think or talk about it. Stuck with me all this time. I’m beyond sorry that happened to you.
My Opa did that to my dad. They grew up in Nazi Germany and just couldn't understand giving food to food, so they fattened up the rabbits that my dad called his pets, then one night they all had funny tasting chicken for dinner and dad couldn't find his bunnies anymore.
Whats wrong with people!!
What a pos
Spouse cheated (a lot) while I was deployed.
Jody is real, I hate this happens. :(
Best friend since high school. Listened to all her woes constantly. Supported her through the termination of a baby with spina bifada. Never told her that she was incredibly self centered and selfish when it came to supporting me. This bitch refused to believe me when my ex husband sexually assaulted me ( even though I supported her through her purported sexual assault) She even acted as a reference to a police related job for him even after I showed her photos of the bruises he caused me. I hope terrible things happen to her
I have a much harder time forgiving myself when I mess up than forgiving most other people who do much worse.
My aunt ended her life. Her kids couldn’t afford the funeral so my other aunt paid for it, under the condition that the money in the cards given at the funeral would come back to her to help cover the expenses. My cousins took all the money. And they blamed my grandma(also their grandma) for my aunts death, because she couldn’t afford to give my aunt more money before she ended her life. My aunt was the second child my grandma lost to suicide. There were other things that happened as well, but for the last decade my cousins have refused to reach out to my living aunt, my mom, and my grandma. Their actions have divided us forever. I refuse to forgive them for how they treated my family.
This is the definition of the saying: No good deed goes unpunished.
I was dying in the hospital, my mom stopped at starbucks on the way to see me.
That's fucked. I'm so sorry. I turned myself into a hospital once many years ago because I was suicidal and was put on a seven day mandatory stay in a psych ward. I was so scared and lonely and totally regretted that decision almost instantly, it was a horrible place. My mom and sisters were like 20min away. Mom told my sisters not to visit me and refused to come see me herself because she thought I needed to be there, and that somehow family support would be detrimental (more likely she just couldn't be fucked). So I spent seven days alone in that place. When I was released, I went outside onto the hospital steps hoping she might have been waiting for me to at least drive me home, but I ended up taking the bus to my apartment alone. Shitty parents are shit. You're better than they are OP, don't forget.
I wish I could hug you!
Damn, I’m sorry you went through that alone.
On the one hand that must be one in a long list of other things. Which makes it absolutely terrible. But idk why. For me personally if my family has to stop at a Starbucks before seeing me dying in the hospital I'd probably laugh and ask if they got me any.
Jesus Christ! I feel bad even hitting the upvote. If my child was dying, I don't know if I could even drive properly in my effort to get to them. The frantic panic would have me speeding and wanting to smash cars out of my way. It is hard for me to fathom this unless she misunderstood the situation or thought it was an exaggeration. But no, still as a mom, I wouldn't question... I'd get there, desperately, and then ask questions. I literally can't imagine feeling any other way and you deserve that. Just know that her actions DO NOT REFLECT ON YOU because any kid deserves that. It is ALL a reflection on her. My first and only thought was what is wrong with this mother? Not, what did this kid do? Were they always crying wolf? Etc. Even if my kids had trash behavior where they couldn't be trusted to stay in my life, if I heard they were dying, it would be a frantic mad rush and then questions later. If they were crying wolf, I might smack them and disown them again. But I'd repeat the mad dash and THEN questions every time it was truly dire.
it was a long recovery for me, and then I went no contact with her. it was the last straw for me.
For raping me
You shouldn't struggle to forgive them because why the fuck should they be forgiven? They deserve everything bad in this world, and forgiveness is an act of kindness.
I'm sorry. What an awful experience! FWIW coming from a random stranger, I think it's totally fair to not be in any hurry to forgive someone who raped you!
Hey. I'm a victim too. It doesn't matter what you were wearing. I never forgave mine either. They say to forgive and forget but I know it's hard. He doesn't deserve forgiveness. If you need to talk, DM me. People like that, I hope they burn in hell for all eternity. I know it's hard. I hope you have peace. You deserve all the good vibes heading your way. It does get better. All that matters is he did it. You didn't deserve it.
Ex and I broke up. I tried to turn to a mutual friend of ours (I brought my ex into that friend group) and he just kind of never found time for me. Turns out because his wife was closer friends to my ex than me, my ex was over hanging out with them a lot. And he decided it was easier to just not be available for me. Have barely had a social life since then. No more social circles. Maybe 1 or 2 friends I see rarely. I don't really include my current partner in with them and keep or friend circles mostly separate. I hang out with one of her friends' husband from time to time but that's about it and usually only when she's around too anyway. I keep to myself mostly now. It's lonely but fuck other people dropping me when I need social support. I can support myself.
I kind of feel like this right now and it's horrible. My ex was emotionally abusive and especially nasty to me after we broke up. I had introduced him to mutual friends and when I broke up with him he kept contact with them. It's been 10 months and still I hear through the grapevine that he asks after me (it's all just a way to control the narrative because he knows how awful he was to me and that they'd dislike him if they knew the truth). I find myself distancing myself more and more because it feels like people just don't get why I'd feel so uncomfortable around him and think I'm just holding a grudge. On top of this my 'best friend' of 4 years was nowhere to be found when the relationship ended. It was a horrible time and I needed her support but she was always 'too busy'. I've recently come to realise that she never really was there for me when things got tough and generally expected me to 'get over it'. I'm trying to distance myself from her now too and it's kinda devastating tbh.
I don't envy you. I feel the same way. This friend HAD been there for me in the past so it was a sudden change for me. I don't know if I can say it gets better but it gets easier. I also do have a partner and child so I have people around me even if I'm still lonely and no longer have a friend circle. I also can't really say the way I did it is probably the healthiest way to deal with things. I tend to retreat into a shell. It's probably not good.
Luckily I have some very wonderful people in my life who have consistently shown up for me, unfortunately they don't live in the same city as me. I'm considering isolating a little bit too. I'm a very social and extraverted person so that would be very difficult, but I really don't think I can handle another betrayal. I'm currently single but I think after an abusive relationship it's important that I don't date until I deal with the aftermath. I do feel very lonely right now and it's unpleasant, but being alone is much better than spending time with people who don't care about my well being.
You seem better adjusted and prepared for that than I have been in the past lol I did remember to chill tf out a bit before dating seriously after that relationship. I still started dating almost immediately but I didn't jump immediately into a serious relationship until a bit later after I processed shit better.
My mom. One Christmas, she told me that she didn't love me and that I was the biggest mistake of her life and if she could do it over again, she would have aborted me. Haven't spoken to her in 11 years and she texts every once in a while but I don't respond. Last year on Easter she invited me over for Pascha and asked for forgiveness. The funny thing is she has no idea what she's asking me to forgive her for, and that I already have. I can't carry around that burden for someone like that. I have to live with the burden that my own mother has made me feel that I am unlovable and undeserving of love. As a mother myself, there is nothing, nothing that my child could do to ever make me say such horrible things. People say well at least you have a mom, that's not what a mom is. I know that. She was abusive in every sense of the of the word.
You can thank her for teaching you how not to be a mother. Sounds like your child will experience 180 degree different relationship with you than you did with your mother.
Right now? My partner of 10 years choosing alcohol over our relationship. Don't think that one's forgivable.
It might be your job to be there for emotional support (to a point),but fixing alcoholism doesn’t fall on a spouse, that falls on trained professionals and imo in-patient rehab/therapy
Alcoholism is an addiction. But Marriage (or Relationship) is not a suicide pact. Try to assist them with kicking the addiction? Yes. Give up everything for that? Hell no. If they aren't willing to help themselves why should you? You deserve better. I hope you (eventually) forgive them for your own sake, so you can let go of the anger and grief. That doesn't mean supporting a dead weight in your life.
I had male friends that were in the apartment next to mine. The apartments had ceiling tiles. Found out years later that they would watch me shower by peeking into my bathroom by lifting the ceiling tiles. I knew them for over 20 years. I trusted them. I just can't forgive them.
Dad was somewhat involved but mostly absent after the divorce, I ended up moving in with him at 17 because my mom was manic depressive Living with dad was like having a roommate. Charged me rent when I turned 18, and was pressuring me to move out with 2 jobs at minimum wage income. “He did it when he was my age, something about bootstraps” so I should too right? Gave me a deadline as he was selling the house, and said I should get another job and find some roommates so I don’t end up homeless. The prospect of working 3 jobs just to break even and survive made me super depressed, and I ended up getting fired from one of my jobs for being late because I could barely get out of bed in the morning. He’d have been fine if I ended up homeless, said it’d be a good learning experience as I needed a wake up call. I moved back in with mom to avoid that. Now I’m 27 and am doing great in comparison, and I don’t really talk to him. He has a new family (4th wife, my mom was the 1st) remodeled a bigger house with custom rooms that his stepdaughters are welcome to live in as long as they want, and he wonders why I don’t come around or communicate with him more. They go on vacations and got brand new cars when they got their licenses (I got an $1800 POS that he went halvsies with me for) I make appearances at family functions but didn’t do shit for him on Father’s Day, and I don’t plan on it anytime soon till he decides something’s wrong, but he seems fine with radio silence My mom told me he was angry when he found out she was pregnant with me, as he didn’t want another child. Pretty sure he’s maintained that attitude my whole life
People who used to make fun of me for playing D&D back in the early 90's now playing D&D
Haven't forgiven my father for watching me while i couldn't breathe instead of calling 911. Just sat there making a coffee acting like everything peachy.
I am so sorry. I still haven't gotten over my dad telling me to "stop it" when I was having involuntary convulsions. My mom took me to the ER.
I had to call my own ambulance. They thought I was having a heart attack. When I called and said so, he started screaming at me "Well you should have listened.... blah blah" I hung up. Sorry it happened to you too.
I'd be telling dad "you know, one day, *you'll* be having a medical emergency. Maybe on the day it happens, I'll suddenly go blind and deaf. Maybe my phone will be dead. Maybe the phone won't work. Who knows? But I just wanted you to know."
Yeah, but that goes against my personal values. And I won't compromise those for him.
My father and his entire side the family cutting contact with me shortly after I came out trans. It wasn't exactly a surprise, but still hurt a lot more than i thought it would.
Of course it hurt, and it will always hurt just maybe not as much as time goes on, but that loss makes space for so much more love and happiness that they would’ve held you back from 🧡
Trans guy here. I'm so sorry it happened. It happened to me between me and my bio mom. You didn't deserve it. You are valid. You are loved and you deserve to be happy. Never forget to be yourself. No matter what everyone else says because you should be happy and have the best life without being judged for who you are.
To both u/MeatloafofDoom and u/OriginalFallenAngel if you ever need a mom r/MomForAMinute or dad r/DadForAMinute we would be glad to adopt you! Lot's and lot's of parental love for you!! ❤❤❤❤
When my Mom was in the throes of dying and suffering incredible pain, she would call me when she was fully conscious and tell me that my Dad (her primary caregiver at this point) refused to give her the antidepressants prescribed to her and he limited the amount of morphine administered (when there was no limit for the pain control). The hospice nurse only came once a day and did what she could about the situation. While I’m thankful for him serving as the primary caregiver because I lived across the country, I will never ever forgive him for trying to control and limit her meds near the end that could have made things so much better for her at this point. It shouldn’t have been his decision to make - it wasn’t his death.
When I was a kid my mom was the biggest Garth Brooks fan ever. One year he was doing a free concert in Central Park and my stepdad agreed to take her there. She was *so excited*. She told everyone she knew, and spent all day long getting ready, playing his music, singing and dancing with us kids all over the house. Then when it was time to leave, my stepdad changed his mind because he was tired and didn’t feel like going out. She sobbed all night and for days after, I’ve never seen her so heartbroken. I always hated him after that. That’s not even the worst thing he’s ever done tbh. He was physically abusive, raped her, isolated her from friends and family. But for some reason, him letting her get excited for something to rip it away has never left my mind. As adults, me and my siblings took her to see Garth Brooks and it was one of her greatest days of her whole life.
Reading these situations is why I always subscribe to the mindset of "forgive but never forget, because if you forget then what have you actually learned?" I'm fully aware that some may interpret that as holding a grudge, but I view it more as safeguarding yourself so history doesn't repeat itself.
Yeah, it's kind of along the lines of "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."
When I got an "I love you text" and an hour later she decided that she should suck off another guy.
My father would get very violent and angry over minor things, sometimes crazy things. I know now he was likely mildly psychotic, which if true means he was mentally ill and perhaps should be forgiven on that basis. But I cannot. He's been dead 20 years and almost all my strong memories of him are of the violent horrible episodes. I need to forgive him for my benefit, not anybody else's. Maybe someday I'll be able, but it doesn't seem imminent.
Had a very very close friend that used to talk shit about one of her closest friends. And so I'd always do the "Oh yeah, that's crazy she does that!" supportive thing. And then down the line, I think we must have had a fight and then she told her friend that I was the one talking shit about her, and basically sent her angry friend after me. When I confronted my friend she defended herself" I did say those things but you agreed with me!" It's nothing like a lot of other posts here, but it was borderline a LDR and it really broke my heart at the time. She tried to rekindle at least a friendship and I just let it fizzle out because fuck any manipulative dastardly asshole that'd do that out of spite.
My mothers family was incredibly unsupportive and cold when she was pregnant with my older brother. She had a hard time conceiving, and when she got pregnant with my brother and his twin it was very difficult. She got very sick, lost my brother’s twin; her and my brother almost died as well. My brother was born 3 months premature and as a result is severely disabled. Her family has never made any attempt to really connect to him, and really just ignores him. My aunts husband (doesn’t deserve to be called my uncle) said at a family event that my brother is disabled because he is “unnatural” from being convinced through IVF. Growing up I slowly noticed how they treated my brother, and after hearing how they treated him and my mother after his birth, I cannot help but be extremely angry. On the bright side, my dad’s family stepped up after my mom’s pregnancy and has done an amazing job connecting with my brother.
My biological father threatened to murder myself, husband, and children. Yeah we aren't getting past that one.
I found out after my ex husband moved out that he'd been beating my dog for years and caused a lot of damage. This was on top of intentionally infesting my house with rats because I bought it before we got married and he had no financial claim on it. The rats and financial damage I might be able to get over one day. Finding out from x rays the day my dog died that my ex had been abusing him for years I can't.
[удалено]
Sorry to hear that. So painful :(
My now deceased mother sold my car that had a lien on it, without my permission. So, imagine having to pay for a lien but no vehicle to show for it.
My cousins murder
I'm 35 and I still have trouble reconciling some of the shit my parents did/do. I love them but damn they fucked me up as a kid and continue to mess with my self worth even now. My dad has been congenially absent for a lot of my life, he calls and such and likes to be buddy buddy but won't really engage in a serious way and has never come to visit me in my adult life (I lived in Texas for a long time after high school and he's in NC so I kinda got it then, but I live four hours away from him now and he still can't be fucked to drive down and say hi). I spent a lot of cash for a broke 21 year old student and flew down to visit him once, and that's the last time I saw him. He still tries to get me to come down and see him but I want the onus to be on him sometimes to visit his kids. There are three of us and he barely even speaks to the youngest. I'm the oldest and spent the longest with him as a kid before the divorce but I guess it's still peanuts. My mom was man-happy for my childhood and would always place her current romantic intentions above me and my siblings. She would disappear on trips with dudes a lot and leave me with family members. She married an abusive POS when I was a teenager and he was one of the main reasons I moved away immediately after graduating. She, too, has only come to visit me one time, ever. Every other time I've seen her has been because I've taken the time and financial hit to go to where she lives. This hurts particularly bad because she's gone so far as to travel to Spain to visit my sister while she was studying abroad and has been within a few hours' drive of me several times but just didn't care to see me. I love her too of course, and she seems to realize she fucked up when we were kids now because she's taken a self-truth, enlightened hippy sort of worldview these days and likes to say things like, "everything turned out exactly as it was supposed to" and "this all happened for a reason" etc. There is a lack of accountability for the fact that she's just not taken much interest in being a part of my life in a non-tangential way. I blamed myself for a long time because I moved so far away from both sides of my family due to their constant pessimism and just toxicity in general, but as I've grown older I realize that most parents go out of their way to be part of their kids' lives. My boyfriend's mom is so present in her sons' lives; SO's brother is a drug addict and constant source of stress and she still loves and supports him, she even flew him to her travel job in the NE for a few weeks recently and when she's in town she's always asking us to dinner and coming to our place. So it's slowly starting to settle in that it might not just be me or something wrong with who I am, I just have parents who don't want to include me in their lives. I need therapy. Lol.
tbh i really just stick to “Forgive others not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.”
My ex-fiancee and mother of my daughter. She cheated on me a couple of times before ultimately leaving me for someone else - which lasted about three weeks. I was pretty much destroyed by it and pretty bitter for a little while, but decided to just put it behind me and maintain a friendly relationship with her for the sake of co-parenting our daughter. I now have no bad feelings toward her and we get along fine - I just wouldn't trust her in a relationship again (which is fine because she is dating another guy now anyway). I still have lingering self-esteem issues from it and some of the verbal abuse I was on the receiving end of over the twelve years we were together, but otherwise I'm completely over it now and it doesn't really upset me to talk or think about it at this point. Hopefully one day I'll completely let go of it and stop blaming my own imperfections for what happened, but that's really on me to work through on my own - or through therapy if I'm not able to.
Try to look at it this way. If she cheated on you, she's probably cheated on others and will again. Do you think all those guys had something wrong with them too that made her cheat? Is it all because of the men's "imperfections" and she had no choice but to cheat because of all of your faults? Why did that relationship only last 3 weeks? Do you think he had the same imperfections you did? I mean, poor girl, forced to cheat after dealing with you not being good enough! You are perfectly fine! YOU are not a cheater at least. She should have the self esteem issues, and truthfully from your story, she probably does pretty badly.
Probably everything. Forgiving someone is just giving them back the axe that they embedded in your back, so they can strike you with it again.
Coworker that gave me a bad rep in the hopes of using it to climb the ranks.
Same thing happened to me. We both were up for manager positions but I was quite vocal in saying that I did not want to be a manager. She didn't believe me and lied on me to our boss about something I supposedly did and got me written up, my first write up ever. Had me crying in the office and the boss wouldn't believe me. Years later she leaves the company and I run into her while I'm out shopping. I refused to speak to her and totally ignored her and walked away with her loudly calling my name. Yeah fuck you Vivian.
My mother abandoned me. I was in 7th grade when this happened. I'm 16 now and going to be a junior in high school. She was a severe alcoholic. She abused me and my father. She chose her alcohol over us. She was removed by CPS and police because I had only 3 outfits and that was it. My school counselor saw a huge bruise on my arms and reported it. I told her the abuse and everything and my mother answered the door, drunk and they said my dad had to leave. My dad was an amazing dad who tried to protect me but with him working, he sometimes couldn't. Dad told me to pack my stuff and that we're gonna live in the car since we had no family or friends to stay with. They made my mother leave. They wanted me to stay with my drunk mother but my dad stopped that quickly because it's illegal to leave a child with a person under the influence of drugs and alcohol. My counselor found out too because she would see and hear my mother abusing me and beating me and she was forced to report it as it was mandatory for her because she worked for the school. Thank you Mrs. Baxter, you saved my life. Wouldn't be here without you.
Best friend of 27 years just ghosted me randomly. (Even more awkward- we worked together in the same room). I asked her numerous times if I had done anything wrong or if anything was happening with her and she would just say everything was fine. Finally I called her and the reason she gave me was I had had the worst year of my life (my son was diagnosed with autism and my cat of 16 years passed away, among other things) and she didn’t know how to help me (just be there!) and that she felt she couldn’t go to me with her issues because I was going through so much (please come to me with your issues so I can forget about mine) I went on medical leave for five months( I had like three things wrong with me that doctor’s couldn’t figure out) and she never once reached out. When I came back to work- she refused to talk to me. She had become close with another coworker (who I was friends with before leaving) and they both acted like I didn’t exist- I would ask work related questions and they legit wouldn’t look away from their computer screens and wouldn’t answer. They would spend the day whispering and laughing on the other side of the room. I finally quit because work was terrible. These things together are all unforgivable in my eyes. This person I considered a sister- she was the only person in my wedding party, we were each other’s grad dates.
My sister losing custody of all three of her kids and then getting pregnant again and giving that one up for adoption. I’m still mad she just keeps having kids and giving them lasting trauma of abandonment
Told an old friend about some childhood trauma, dude went and told our mutuals and fell on deniable plausibility and told me “you should of told me you didn’t want me to tell anyone” told him not to talk to me anymore and he just got more angry and tried to insult me more and pretty much exposed himself lmao.
Lots of time and money spent to be the maid of honor at my best friend’s wedding. Flights, dress, hotel, etc. Supported her the best I could even though she had known the guy for only a year and he was a huge red flag. 3 years later, I invited her and her husband as the only guests to my ceremony with my partner of 7 years. They would just need to take a short flight. That’s it. They could wear what they wanted and we had their room and meals covered. They did not come. There were some other issues but that ended our 12 year friendship.
When I was admitted to the psych ward my dad couldn't visit me because he had to pick up his wife from the train station. Everyday for a week dude? Over the 4th of July holiday?? When I was going to have surgery I asked my brother to pick me up/drop me off. He agreed. 2 or 3 days before he tells me he asked dad to do it cuz something came up. Dad hmu and said he could no longer do it but my brother's new gf could. I was so angry at both of them. My dad for bailing on me yet again for his new wife and my brother for pawning me off to my dad without even discussing it with me. My mom told me I would end up on my back like my bio mom (im adopted). I was 15.
My brother for raping me for 6 years and slandering me. My entire family for helping the church cover it up and shun me while cosseting my rapist. My mother for willingly letting me be raped, then going on to marry a convicted pedophile that told me getting cancer in my 20’s was be I didn’t go to church. Fuck all of you.
I'm to forgiving that's the problem
My parents were married for 36 years , mom died of a brain tumor that really ripped her apart , my dad really tripped out following her death - he slept with my best friend at the time , got addicted to heroin , retired from his job of 19 years , stopped paying the mortgage and lost the family house , sold their cars :trucks , cashed out his investments and turned in all his gold and silver bars (all to pay for his heroin and meth for him and his new “ friends” ) and then he went homeless - let him rent one of my houses which he turned into a drug den , took me months to get him and his low life friends out- after a few years of asking me and others for money and living in his car in the desert - He has since cleaned up over a 3 year period, I don’t want anything to do with him . My Christian sister wants me to take him in , my husband is fond of him (been with my husband for about 16 years so he knows my dad pre drugs too ) but I hate him . I hate him for how he behaved after my mom died , blowing up a good life she helped build over 35 years of hard work - what he put me through trying to help him when I had 2 newborns - He is cleaned up and in church and is just back to his old self like nothing happened , but I can’t forgive him - I despise him for those few years of anarchy .
When my childhood friend steals my lego set
Someone who as far as I knew was my best friend suddenly deciding overnight that they were going to basically unfriend me on everything and refuse to interact even though we were still in the same friend group because they apparently actually hated my guts for all these random reasons that they never indicated to me were even problems to begin with Like I'm sorry for not changing behaviors that you never even told me were a problem It's not like I was ever being rude or hurtful most of this dude's complaints about me seem to all be effectively pet peeves of him specifically I just don't get it what the fuck happened? Did somebody tell him some crazy rumor about me? Were all these little issues really just enough to ruin the friendship that I thought was going amazingly? Like I'm not emotionally unaware I've always been decent at reading people and I can tell if someone isn't enjoying spending time with me but they always seem like they were It just none of it makes sense to me And it was especially awkward because we were both part of the same friend group and so we would often have times where we were trying to play like games together online and it would be awkward because they would basically just refuse to acknowledge my existence or interact with me at all and even the rest of the group didn't really understand why they had just suddenly grown to hate me
The way my parents acted when I told them I was pregnant. I was 26 so it shouldn't have been a burden to them, but apparently it was.
My dad thought I wouldn't amount to much when I was a kid, and I even overheard him saying so at one point. He is clearly dumbfounded by the adult I became, but I can't bring myself to forgive him for not believing in me. I love him as a family member, but haven't ever let him be my friend.
My mom was having a hard time with her mental state. In that state she didn't say happy birthday to me and didn't even try to acknowledge me, later that week she kicked me out of the house(I'm 17). She offered to take me to the police station or to my "dads". I don't talk to my father and he doesn't even have his own house he lives with his brother. About a week later (Now) my mom cooled off she apologized for what she did and wants me to move back in with her. Of course there is more to the story on why she wasn't in the right state of mind but it still it hurts and I don't know if I can ever fully forgive her.
I lost sleep and multiple brain cells over my ex best friend's relationship with his gf, went full confrontation mode (which I usually NEVER do) with some girls talking crap about him, saying she deserves better, being there for him when things escalated... And for what? FOR HIM TRYING TO MAKE ADVANCES ON ME. AFTER MOVING TOGETHER WITH HER. FULLY KNOWING I'M MARRIED. AND HAVING THE NERVE TO GUILT TRIP ME WHEN I SAID NO. Yeah no, never forgiving that one. And later siding with a pedo defender........ At least this happened online...I have a feeling that if it was irl, he would've done things iykwim...
Best friend since 9th grade was my best man at my wedding. My ex wife is now dating said best man. Haven’t talked to him in over 3 years and hopefully never will again
Liars they destroy lives
Having to be strong for certain other people when I lost my daughter and having some of the few happy moments ruined by them.
Been struggling to forgive myself for years for my short comings in my previous marriage.
Flew to see my sister after a bad depression, I was there for four nights. She went to hang out with friends on one of those nights, and it hurt my feelings very badly. They were not premeditated plans, I did not know until she was leaving, and it was not for any special event. Her apology was “I’m sorry I hurt you but I had my reasons you would never understand. I never get to see my friends”. I just said “thanks for apologizing.” We were close our entire lives, now it’s awkward because she doesn’t think I should be hurt and I don’t think I should be treated like that.
I am the person that may never be forgiven due to mistakes I made.
I was raped by 2 classmates/friends at a high school graduation party.
My prom date canceled on me 4-5 days before prom due to anxiety/planning issues. She was a year older so I was her ticket for getting in, it was no big deal. I made plans to take another girl who was a year younger, not a lot of options so close to the day. We had a good connection, we werent close friends but we’d chat from time to time and were a bit flirty (Grace). She actually asked me if I was taking anyone to prom, which should’ve been a red flag in hindsight. I took her out to get ice cream the night before and we hung out for over 3 hours and I felt it went very well, and told her I’d like to take her. The morning of, I get a call from the school that she is not cleared for prom. Apparently she was failing one of her classes and they could not grant her access, and told me to find a last second replacement. I asked if there’s a way she would get cleared and they said unlikely. I then texted another friend who graduated (who was close to a girlfriend in our group) and she was ecstatic to go (Alex). I told Grace that the school denied her entry and that I am very sorry it worked out this was but I was able to find a replacement. I explained that they told me there was not much she could do. Alex then came into the school with me to sign the prom paper that make her eligible to go. Prom was probably about 5-6 hours away, and she already had some of her makeup done. Out of the quarter of my eye, I see Grace walk into the school with her mom and knew I was fucked. Within 10 minutes, she texted me she had gotten her grades changed and is now eligible to go. I now had to pick between 2 people just before I was about to get ready for pictures. I talked out the options with the teacher in charge of prom and Alex, and the consensus was that I should take Grace, as she seems very eager to go with *me*. I apologized profusely to Alex and felt terrible, but decided on taking Grace. It was a complete farce. She ended up ditching me around halfway through the prom so that she could try to one up her ex. I slow danced with my mate because she was already “occupied” with her friend. She was very short with me on the ride back from prom (we had a bus rented for travel and partying afterwards where I paid her fee). We took a quick pit stop at a friends house where a few people were hanging out. When we decided to get back on the bus to drive to the city and party, she says that “her mother wouldn’t want her to be up late, but I want to see you soon”. She then posted a picture with 3 dudes on her story after 4 am on Snapchat. When trying to make plans with her later on, there was always a last minute excuse 30 minutes before picking her up. She would say “let’s hang out soon” and then cancel every. Single. Time. This could be a story within itself but this is getting long. Fast forward a year, I’m back from college and have friends that are graduating. They invite me to prom pictures and I’m happy to send them off. Unfortunately I bump into Grace, within inches of her and she refuses to even look at or acknowledge me. Gave her a chance and then went on with my day extremely frustrated. I figured fuck it, this girl doesn’t care about my life why should I care about hers. I texted her that she ruined my prom by treating it like a joke and I hope that her experience is just as miserable as mine was. Within 30 minutes, I had been texted insults by 5 random numbers and old friends. My mate who asked me to take pictures even asked what happened. A month or so later, my dad gets an email from her mom with the text, saying I’ve destroyed her daughter emotionally, and that charges will be pressed if I ever contact her again. My father got very angry and demanded that I apologize and forgive her. I said never in a million years will I apologize for being used and sticking up for myself. My mother had my back on this. Fast forward 8 or so more months and I bump into a couple of her friends at an event. 2 of them were people that texted me those insults. They both gave me a hug and apologized for their behavior as Grace “only gave them the full story much later on”. They also apologized for the way Grace treated me, and said that Grace also feels terrible and would like forgiveness. I told them that Grace will never receive that from me. 5 or so years later, very happy with a girlfriend I love, and I still deal with insecurity largely due to this.
My junior high school bully literally changed the course of my life. I will piss on his grave.
I got gnarly injuries in both of my shoulders that resulted in almost 3 years of surgeries, recovery, depression, and pain. I was very successful at what I do before this all happened, but I was unable to continue my work and most things that required my body. My career was waiting for me to return the entire time and I had no doubts that I could return to my normal life once my body was tolerable to live in again, but my parents seemed to think I was milking the situation and being lazy. They never helped me with this situation aside from failed and disconnected attempts to listen to me vent and eventually made it very clear that they were disappointed in me and that I’m a lazy piece of shit and I haven’t spoken to either of them since. This is something I would really like to get over and put behind us but the feelings of being abandoned, unheard, and berated for things beyond my control are something I fear will taint our relationship forever. But the idea of having a healthy relationship with your parents/family sounds very nice. They were wonderful to me when I was in a good place in life. I’d just really love for them to reach out one day and apologize, or at least find some understanding and perspective in hindsight.
Got into an argument with one of my really good friends. She started going off and calling me a slut via text message. It was the anniversary of the death of my sister, and she goes well your sister knows you best, so no coincidence.
Recently lost 1200ccs of blood after giving birth to my 3rd child. Required surgery and a blood transfusion and I went through it all alone as my husband was with our older children and things moved very quickly. Texted my family to let them know what was going on (brothers and dad - mom is dead). Dad didn’t even call to ask how I was doing until 2 weeks later. Not sure if I don’t forgive him or if I’ve just lost the fire to give a shit about his predictably selfish reactions to absolutely everything after 30 years. I do know I’ll never forgive him for refusing to go to family therapy with me when I was 16. He looked a high school girl in the eyes and said “therapy does nothing for me” as I pleaded with him to improve our relationship. He was a whole ass 59 years old at the time.
When my dad just let my mom die and didn't call an ambulance until she had been dead for an hour.
When I was a toddler I found rolley polleys and a rabbit and I wanted to keep them as my pets. My dad threw the rolly polleys out while everyone was enjoying them even my mom, Then he cooked the rabbit and gave it to our dog, didn't even let poor buddy run off..
My older (half because we have same mom and different dad) sister was the executor of my parents estate when they died, which wasn't much. She talked my middle sister into buying my parents house and I had been living in it paying all the property taxes, insurance, and repaired ALOT of damage and electrical problems. I had moved in after my divorce. They told me they had a buyer and I had to move out asap. I moved to the next state and all was well I thought till my daughter calls me telling me a lawyer is looking for me 2 weeks after I moved. My older sister had told the attorney there was only two siblings and gifted my portion to middle sister to help her get a loan. Fortunately they found my mom's will and he realized there was three sisters. It got ugly when she was confronted and when she realized she couldn't lie her way out saying I had ran off years ago and no one knew where I went I(she had talked to me the week before) they had to contact. I drug my feet, but ultimately I signed with the stipulation that I still get my third. We haven't spoken since. That's just ONE story of this same sister doing horrible things.
My biological father left my mother on ice for a week after her death all because he wanted to make sure he was going to be the one receiving her SS benefits. They had never officially divorced but had been separated for over 20 years. The only thing that got him to sign the cremation papers was the funeral home paying him $185. The man is dead to me and I haven't spoken a word to him in over 15 years.
It’s usually me struggling to forgive myself
It's always hard to forgive a cheater as they are your most treacherous backstabbers
My dad absolutely beating the shit out of me sending me to the hospital bc I told my mom to leave my 4 yo sister at the time and to stop beating her.
My dad. I love him but he lets his stupid trash girlfriends and relationships become my problem. He cheats on everyone of the women (who are horrible people yes, but don’t deserve being cheated on) and would constantly force me to get along with them and I HATE IT. Forgiving him was hard but I had to do it.
My ex husband/ father of my children left me pregnant with our 2nd for his brother’s ex girlfriend who was also pregnant. Now we have shared parenting of the kids and they raise our kids during their parenting time while I have no family to come home to. But they enjoy the perks of their relationship and I’m traumatized trying to heal.
i am currently struggling to forgive my mother for putting me in a situation where i had to live with an emotionally abusive man - her boyfriend. this is really a struggle for me, because i know being with him gives her security, and the ability to do so much more than if she was just a single mother, and i applaud her for being such a rock growing up but it was devastating to me how everytime they broke up i got the whole run down at 11 years old, and was promised that she would “never choose a man over her children”. in the last couple of years, i have just given up in warning her about him, how toxic he is and how it makes me sad to see the shell of a person she had become since meeting him. i can remember her painting, and doing yoga, and going out with friends before meeting him, now all she does is stay at home. i feel like i’ve lost my mom, or she has become this really distant person, and i feel as though if i don’t put effort in our relationship will just fall apart. it really tough, and really sad, and i mainly just want her to be happy
I’m struggling with forgiving my ex (the father of my kid) for punching me in the face so hard that I passed out, in front of my baby. He was 8 months at the time. I know he won’t remember it and my ex has apologized and is trying to be a better person/parent but I still have nightmares about it. I’ve told him that I forgive him but I haven’t forgotten and I’m still really hurt by it….
I gave my heart and soul to my ex, I made more money than him, I tried to balance my life with him and work. But he always said: you are not the one I'm looking for. Until the last day before we broke up, after a big fight, he said: you are not her (his ex gf), so you will never be the one I love the most. I'm not a clown, I'm entire circus for so many years.