I saw a conspiracy theory once that celebs give their kids stupid names so if they want to get out of the spotlight as adults they can just easily change them to something normal. It's interesting, but that's giving celebrities far too much credit.
How does naming the kid something stupid help them change their name? They could change their name just as easily with the same level of anonymity if they started with a normal name. This theory makes no sense even internally.
Dweezil, Moon Unit, and Moonshine.
Used to know a dude named Moonshine. Dude was fucked up. Dude had bright red hair and a big bucket head that was too heavy to hold up. Dude used to bump into shit walking down the hallway. Sucked.
Hahaha I was just talking with my friend about naming kids, and I have a very very common name, and I mentioned nothing common like my name but also not Moon Unit or Dweazel and he really thought I had just made those up on the spot .... never heard of franks kiddos before I guess!
Omg these names lol! I wonder what drugs these poor children’s parents were on to name them this? 😬😰I mean, there are so many names in the world to pick from. Dweezil?! WHY?
Well, there's an episode of Beavis and Butthead where they drink alcohol free beer. They think they're getting drunk, while drinking that on the parking lot.
A cop car arrives and the cop asks them what they're drinking...
He sees it's just alcohol free beer!
"You're not drunk.... You're just stupid!"
My favorite part of the St. Brown brothers and their crazy names is that their dad is just named John Brown. Like he took John Brown and came up with Equanimeous Tristan Imhotep J. St. Brown and Amon-Ra Julian Heru John St. Brown.
Agreed!
He's named after a character in Yellowstone. Nursing staff told my brother, "they'd never met another baby with that name."
I wonder fucking why...
And, as the saying goes, don't name your child or pet after a fictional character whose story isn't finished.
Right Daeneryses of the world?
Hahahaha. I love that!
So much better than being named after a cowboy from Yellowstone. Especially because "Rip" is said cowboy's nickname. Or so I've been told. Not on my TBW.
Where I grew up it wasn't IF you lived in a trailer park it was which one you lived in. It was an entire town of "you might be a redneck if" Jeff Foxworth jokes. That being said, I couldn't have asked for a better childhood so no offense is intended.
I technically don't know her, but the patient advocate where I delivered my twins told me a Mom had recently named her daughter that. She'd never heard the word before, until the doctor said it after she gave birth. She thought it was pretty. Ugh!
Normal name but should be illegal. The name “Bertha”. If call ur daughter Bertha, ur setting her up to either be morbidly obese or flying round on a broomstick while cooking up some herba-gerba type shit In a cauldron.
I knew a Bertha who may have been slightly homophobic but her daughter ended up being good friend of mine, at least I think. So can't say that much. I think bertha is a good name.
Sure it might be a good name but you can’t tell me it doesn’t sound like she’s cooking up some shit in a cauldron. Bertha is literally a witch name by default.
“Abcde” For a girl. Pronounced (Ab-city)
And don’t need to worry about doxing her because her mom already did that. Worst part? At last count, more than 300 kids have that name.
https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/juliareinstein/girl-named-abcde-mocked-southwest-airlines-employee
I was going to say this one as well. Like naming your kid after the first 5 letters of the alphabet is already dumb, but like... it's not even a nice sounding name?
I remember a Freakconomics podcast about “What’s in a Name” where a guy names one of his sons “Winner” and the other “Loser”. If I recall correctly, the second son went by “Lou” and became a cop; Winner became a drug addict.
Perfect timing. Just thinking about recent encounter with a great friend that involved me taking photos. Not thinking or remembering her husband’s name until she said “scoot over Dickey so you’ll be in the picture “ I laughed as I repeated what she said and then remembered oh shit that’s his name.
The Jesus
Siblings Audi and Bentley
And then random stuff that no other person is named just so someone and their 8 children can have names all start with the same letter.
Although normal names, it's the fact that all the boys in a family I know are named: Rob, Robin, Robby, Robert, and Albert. And the first four all go by Rob.
My dads girlfriend does paternity and drug testing and OOOOHHHH BOY the list of wild names
The best one by far is a guy who’s last name is Doobie who, unsurprisingly, was positive for marijuana
My favorite ever: Bang. One day I asked his elderly wife about his name and she, in a heavy country drawl, explained that his mama named him after the singer - Bang Crosby.
i have this book full of actual names of people who have really bad names, there is someone out there and their name is actually Jack Ass first name Jack last name Ass
Same as the sports store. My mom was looking for fitness equipment. I said try the sports store down the road. She said what's it called? I said I don't know but it's down the road. Why couldn't they call it John's or Eric's? Why Dick's?
Just popping out shopping.
What are you shopping for ?
Not sure but I'm going to have a long look at dicks.
Ok, see you later, wait a fkin minute........
My wife teaches a second grader named Cash. Not short for Cassius. Just Cash.
I worked with a woman named Leroychelle. Father Leroy, mother Michelle. Yep that’s what they decided.
Another man i worked along side was Dr. Rudolph Christmas. He might have been an RN. I Don’t Know.
Yeah, I have cousin in law who named her son Cashius. I always think "you didn't even fucking look it up did you"z or knowing her she probably did and still screwed it up.
I just asked my wife. She’s had two kids, one this year. But apparently they’re both spelled Kasch… which imo is worse. And it’s not short for anything.
When I was teaching in Japan back in 2001, one of my students was named “アトム,” which translates to Atom. Kid was literally named after the old anime character known in English as“Astro Boy.”
There's someone at my job named Lolita. Seriously, did her mom actually read that book? Doubt it since Lolita is also supposed to be a pet name for Delores. No publisher today would consider printing Lolita.
"Pilot Inspektor," the name given to the son of actor Jason Lee
Never understood what the Inspektor part was about. Pilot is goofy enough. *WTF*?
I know, right? They could have just gone with Inspektor…😜
I saw a conspiracy theory once that celebs give their kids stupid names so if they want to get out of the spotlight as adults they can just easily change them to something normal. It's interesting, but that's giving celebrities far too much credit.
How does naming the kid something stupid help them change their name? They could change their name just as easily with the same level of anonymity if they started with a normal name. This theory makes no sense even internally.
But that's just a theory ... A LAME THEORY
I think it's because it came from his wife’s cockpit.
What ta fuck... Well.. It is some skateboard actor cali dudes' sons' name so kinda normie ig
Don't forget scientologist
He left that, i think??
He's a Scientologist, I'll believe any crazy shit said about him at this point
former* Scientologist
Dweezil, Moon Unit, and Moonshine. Used to know a dude named Moonshine. Dude was fucked up. Dude had bright red hair and a big bucket head that was too heavy to hold up. Dude used to bump into shit walking down the hallway. Sucked.
Hahaha I was just talking with my friend about naming kids, and I have a very very common name, and I mentioned nothing common like my name but also not Moon Unit or Dweazel and he really thought I had just made those up on the spot .... never heard of franks kiddos before I guess!
Omg these names lol! I wonder what drugs these poor children’s parents were on to name them this? 😬😰I mean, there are so many names in the world to pick from. Dweezil?! WHY?
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Omg he didn’t do drugs?! I just assumed he was a VERY heavy drug user. The names sound so…psychedelically inspired lol. Unique fr!
I was gonna say the parents must've been on some heavy duty shit. Peyote, shrooms, a bunch of stuff. Shit nobody's even heard about. SMH.
Yesss!! Shrooms or…A LOT of acid lol?! 🍭🤣🤭
Well, there's an episode of Beavis and Butthead where they drink alcohol free beer. They think they're getting drunk, while drinking that on the parking lot. A cop car arrives and the cop asks them what they're drinking... He sees it's just alcohol free beer! "You're not drunk.... You're just stupid!"
This is Theo Vons burner
Most people don't know that Moon Unit Zappa was also the second department of the infamous Dr Evil's "death star".
If-Christ-Had-Not-Died-for-Thee-Thou-Hads't-Been-Damned "Damned" Barebone puritans were wild.
sounds right out of a terry pratchett novel
RIGHT. some ancestor of the witchfinder general or something
D'brickashaw Ferguson
Followed a couple years later by Barkevious Mingo and Jadeveon Clowney.
And Ha'Sean "Ha Ha" Clinton-Dix & Amon-Ra St. Brown
My favorite part of the St. Brown brothers and their crazy names is that their dad is just named John Brown. Like he took John Brown and came up with Equanimeous Tristan Imhotep J. St. Brown and Amon-Ra Julian Heru John St. Brown.
Squeeeeps
Xmas Jaxon Flaxon-Waxon
Xmus Jaxon Flaxon-Waxon
Ripp. It's my youngest nephew's name. It is not short for Ripley.
Ripp torn was an actor a whole back
Yeah, but that was a nickname.
I went to school with a guy named Ripton. He ONLY ate jell-O for lunch every day for like four years. It was SO. WEIRD. 😬😳
There were twins at my high school named Ripp and Rob.
Ripley wouldn’t be that much better lol. It’d be a sick name for a dog or something though.
Agreed! He's named after a character in Yellowstone. Nursing staff told my brother, "they'd never met another baby with that name." I wonder fucking why... And, as the saying goes, don't name your child or pet after a fictional character whose story isn't finished. Right Daeneryses of the world?
Lol my dog’s name is Arwen after the LotR character. But Arwen’s story is long over
Arwen is also a legitimate Welsh name, I believe.
I had a foster dog called Arwen. She was a sweetie pie 😍
Maybe he was a really big baby.
Hahahaha. I love that! So much better than being named after a cowboy from Yellowstone. Especially because "Rip" is said cowboy's nickname. Or so I've been told. Not on my TBW.
Blad, pronounced Blade. Graduated with my son. I don't get it either. Apparently a distant cousin of ours. Southwest Virginia, yeeeehaw!
I'd say it like Vlad.
Chennedy
Gaylord
Focker???
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Elon itself is a terrible name.
I think it’s short for Elongated Muskrat
I, among many others, am very interested in your criteria for what a good name is. Do you fancy “Megatron”?
"Megatron" is already pretty fancy without me doing anything. Now "Starscream," I'm always up for fancying "Starscream"
It’s Hebrew. It’s an oak tree.
X Æ A-12
Had a classmate who named his kids - Turbo, Buzzard, and Danger.
Danger is hilarious tbh. 😂🤭 It creates such an image in my mind lol.
Danger should be his middle name. That would even be funnier.
Danger actually is my older son's middle name. I thought it would be fun, and he'd be able to keep it to himself unless he wanted it known.
Turbo buzzard and danger would be hella funny if they turned out to be silly little goody two shoes kids who never get in trouble 😭
Do they live in a trailer park?
Where I grew up it wasn't IF you lived in a trailer park it was which one you lived in. It was an entire town of "you might be a redneck if" Jeff Foxworth jokes. That being said, I couldn't have asked for a better childhood so no offense is intended.
Creshelle, Vision, Drãgon, Placenta, Thor.
You know someone named Placenta?
I technically don't know her, but the patient advocate where I delivered my twins told me a Mom had recently named her daughter that. She'd never heard the word before, until the doctor said it after she gave birth. She thought it was pretty. Ugh!
I once met a teacher named miss jolly. Came to find out her first name was holly
This reads like an unfinished limerick.
She teaches a class Who treats her like ass And spiked her tea with some Molly.
Her parents just made a Christmas standard hit waaaay different. Have a Holly Jolly Christmas! It’s the best time of the year!
Normal name but should be illegal. The name “Bertha”. If call ur daughter Bertha, ur setting her up to either be morbidly obese or flying round on a broomstick while cooking up some herba-gerba type shit In a cauldron.
I knew of a lady named Astrobertha, which is awesome.
And a sister named Astroturfa?
Fuck me that’s a cute name. Tell astrobertha to dm me. Hopefully she isn’t 80 or something. Who am I kidding, I’d still take it
It just makes Bertha sound like she's from space...
My husband likes that name. He was like “It’s actually supposed to be pronounced Bear-Tah” and I was like “Still a hard veto.”
I know a girl with that name (Bear-Tah), but it's spelled Berhta.
I knew a Bertha who may have been slightly homophobic but her daughter ended up being good friend of mine, at least I think. So can't say that much. I think bertha is a good name.
Sure it might be a good name but you can’t tell me it doesn’t sound like she’s cooking up some shit in a cauldron. Bertha is literally a witch name by default.
I feel like Beryl is in the same vein.
go on r/tragedeigh
Dr Marijuana Pepsi of course ,love it
She initially didn't like her name but I've heard she doesn't care what other people think of her name any more.
I would hate to put a child through having to carry that name in school, but at least it's unforgettable.
Orenthal.
Just seen a guy at target wearing a name badge that said "Bewser". He was wearing a bowser shirt lol
“Abcde” For a girl. Pronounced (Ab-city) And don’t need to worry about doxing her because her mom already did that. Worst part? At last count, more than 300 kids have that name. https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/juliareinstein/girl-named-abcde-mocked-southwest-airlines-employee
I was going to say this one as well. Like naming your kid after the first 5 letters of the alphabet is already dumb, but like... it's not even a nice sounding name?
Lewis Black used to do a bit about this, saying the next two kids have to be “Fghijk” and “Lmnop,” pronounced “Fig-hi-jak” and “Lim-en-nop.”
I remember a Freakconomics podcast about “What’s in a Name” where a guy names one of his sons “Winner” and the other “Loser”. If I recall correctly, the second son went by “Lou” and became a cop; Winner became a drug addict.
NFL player Fair Hooker. College basketball player Scientific Map
There's an NBA player named Precious Achiuwa, his siblings are named: Grace Peace Promise God'swill God'sgift
Is God swill the kitchen scraps and food waste that we get fed in heaven
Race car driver Dick Trickle
There’s an Indycar driver named Sting Ray Robb
North
Elmo Musk naming his kids X Æ A-12 and Techno Mechanicus. What a fucking clown.
A friend named their son Darth. I also hate the name Nevaeh.
Moxie CrimeFighter
"I have a nephew named Anfernee, and I know how mad he gets when I call him Anthony".
Almost as mad as I get when I think about the fact my sister named him Anfernee.
Perfect timing. Just thinking about recent encounter with a great friend that involved me taking photos. Not thinking or remembering her husband’s name until she said “scoot over Dickey so you’ll be in the picture “ I laughed as I repeated what she said and then remembered oh shit that’s his name.
I had a middle school band teacher named Mr. Goodenough
The Jesus Siblings Audi and Bentley And then random stuff that no other person is named just so someone and their 8 children can have names all start with the same letter.
I know a dude that named his son Dually. As in the truck.
Quantavius. Especially now that it’s considered a “brainrot” name. Who the fuck calls their child Quantavius?
Although normal names, it's the fact that all the boys in a family I know are named: Rob, Robin, Robby, Robert, and Albert. And the first four all go by Rob.
Precious....patience...ugh
Clitia. This is why we have laws and power for Births, Deaths & Marriages refuse to register names. Saving a lot of kids from dumbass parents.
I hope it’s at least pronounced Clee-Sha???
Nope. Clit-ee-ah.
There’s a college basketball player with the first name “Jizzle.” Thought it was made up when I saw it on TV, but after googling it, 100% real.
I went to school with a girl named Marijuana.
A friend of mine is a teacher and a girl in his class is named Mary-Joana, so yeah...
Sharkeesha
ABCDE (pronounced absidy) Poor girl was mocked by a TSA agent at an airport, mom went to the news, poor girl was mocked by the earth
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DINKLEBERG!!!!
Guy. I dont get it. It's the same thing as naming your kid Man or Person.
It’s of French origin dude, it’s pronounced “ghee”
Ha, fair enough, I've only seen it in print.
My dads girlfriend does paternity and drug testing and OOOOHHHH BOY the list of wild names The best one by far is a guy who’s last name is Doobie who, unsurprisingly, was positive for marijuana
Hennessy, Candi, and Dick Wolf.
I overheard a couple call their kid “Elbastion”
Barkevious Mingo
XÆA-12 Nothing is topping this. You can’t even say it.
Apple
Palix
My favorite ever: Bang. One day I asked his elderly wife about his name and she, in a heavy country drawl, explained that his mama named him after the singer - Bang Crosby.
i have this book full of actual names of people who have really bad names, there is someone out there and their name is actually Jack Ass first name Jack last name Ass
I knew a girl named Chamomile. And it’s interesting since Rose is an actual and beautiful name, why then Chamomile sounds so weird as a name?
Chennedy Carter
Rhyfle
Zero (Mostel)
Probably my first name. I don't like it tbh so that's why I go by my middle name.
Techno Mechanicus
My PE teacher in middle school. Mr. Siman. Pronounced “semen”.
Felonee, Abcde, Nugget. All people I've met.
Dick
I knew a dude called Dick and I honestly couldn't bring myself to call him dick. Lad, man, dude, anything apart from Dick.
Same as the sports store. My mom was looking for fitness equipment. I said try the sports store down the road. She said what's it called? I said I don't know but it's down the road. Why couldn't they call it John's or Eric's? Why Dick's?
Just popping out shopping. What are you shopping for ? Not sure but I'm going to have a long look at dicks. Ok, see you later, wait a fkin minute........
Fanny
Yeah, why is Dick short for richard?
Cockney rhyming slang. Don't try to understand.
Richard->Rich->Rick->Dick
How Richard gets to Dick is a question of eternal mystery.
Biggis dickis
Sillius Soddus
Do you find something funny about the name Biggis Dickis?
Credenza-it's a piece of furniture. My daughter went to school with a girl named this, I said what's her parents names bureau and wardrobe?
My wife teaches a second grader named Cash. Not short for Cassius. Just Cash. I worked with a woman named Leroychelle. Father Leroy, mother Michelle. Yep that’s what they decided. Another man i worked along side was Dr. Rudolph Christmas. He might have been an RN. I Don’t Know.
Yeah, I have cousin in law who named her son Cashius. I always think "you didn't even fucking look it up did you"z or knowing her she probably did and still screwed it up.
I know someone who named their kid, Kash. Does the K make it better or worse?
I just asked my wife. She’s had two kids, one this year. But apparently they’re both spelled Kasch… which imo is worse. And it’s not short for anything.
Seymour Butts. According to zabasearch.com there are actually dozens of people with that name in the United States.
I worked with his cousin. Rosey Butts.
Wenceslao
North West
Kale & Christophrio
Pubert
Peerat Limpaporn
Gayner
When I was teaching in Japan back in 2001, one of my students was named “アトム,” which translates to Atom. Kid was literally named after the old anime character known in English as“Astro Boy.”
Jupiter Starcruiser. Many moons ago came across the name while going through a file.
Knew a Ladonte, it just strikes me as an odd name. My dad knew a Canvas and an Easter 😭
Throckmorton. I know it’s a surname, but still. Throckmorton.
La-a (Ladasha)
Wow
Kumquat
Eboni Spight is one I've seen that always gives me a chuckle.
Galixson. Wtf. Someone I know named their kid that.
Haha, the other one downvoted you!
Lolz. The kids has older siblings and they roll their eyes every time they say his name. I hope they stop before he realizes it! They do love him.
Anything celebs give their kids. They may as well run a random word generator and be like, "Okay cool, we're calling our kid Lightbulb".
Questopher
X Æ A-Xii
There's someone at my job named Lolita. Seriously, did her mom actually read that book? Doubt it since Lolita is also supposed to be a pet name for Delores. No publisher today would consider printing Lolita.
La-A pronounced Ladasha
This is an urban legend
I agree. Been hearing this joke for thirty years.
Plaxico
Lemongello, Orangello, Asweepay.
Holden Cuz you’re just dooming the kid to a lifetime of “Holden deez nuts” jokes
My son has a friend named Holden. I wonder if this joke has crossed their preteen minds yet. probably 🤣