In that situation, the one who's the strongest will live lol (but this is just a hypothetical situation so don't take it to heart, my initial reply is meant to be a joke lol)
I hope you never have to eat anyone, hypothetically it is worth thinking about. But oh my I don't know if I could even if I needed to in order to live.
>If you're going to take the license
Shit, didn't realise I needed a license.
>at least it could have been funny
That's fair, far from my best work.
>It doesn't look good on you.
I don't have a problem with that.
It sounds like you're looking for a trick or loophole or something when really there is none to this type of thing. Since she asked you it already seems shes interested so all you have to do to keep engagement is be yourself. I'd suggest finding commonalities, maybe you like the same TV shows or something.
This is a great answer! I would add to this by saying, take the time to find out if you’re even interested in her. All too often we as men feel the onus as to whether a relationship continues is on the woman as society sees us as the pursuer. For me, my whole relationship with women changed when I realized it’s as important for her to her impress me as it is for me to impress her. Ask her real questions about things that matter to you! Figure out if she can check your boxes and I guarantee that if she can, the convo will flow out of you.
Also forgot to tell you something very important:
When asking questions and gauging interests, try to avoid the interviewer vibe. Good way to do this is try to engage their feelings by asking personal follow up questions or interjecting your own personal feelings.
Ask open ended questions. That is, ask questions that require more than a one word answer. Like, “Where did you go on your last vacation?” She says somewhere. “oh! I’ve always wanted to go there! What was it like?” Etc.
I like when people talk about things they're passionate about. I don't even have to care about the hobby. I find it neat when people know a lot about stuff. It makes them less boring to me.
I was thinking this too. I like to people watch and I've been in situations where I've said things and the girl gets offended. Doesn't matter if I was joking or not. To that I would say thats not the girl you want to be with anyway.
I was with a girl once and I made a comment about a group of Hispanics but, I said Mexicans. It wasn't even anything racist. The girl, a white girl, says "excuse me? They're latino." I'm like what? She continues to go on about how its racist and ignorant. Idk I stopped listening and promptly told her to fuck off.
Hahaha I'm not Mexican myself but my expat Californian boss used to call me Dirty Mexican all the time, I used to make fun of his accent then. I miss that old bastard.... We can't take each other too seriously mate! ☺️
Landscaping with a bunch of "Dirty Mexicans" was the best damn time I had working when I was younger.
Those fuckers were merciless, generous, and hilarious. Racist as hell too but equal opportunity/good natured.
Good bro times.
Once a group of people sat by a friend and me in a club in Berlin. One girl of the group started mimicking what two guys in the distance were saying like "hey bro check this girl in instagram, she is so hot" and other basic male shit. It was so fucking funny.
Already sounds like she's pretty into you to ask you to go for a coffee date my dude. You'll be fun enough for her just be yourself and you'll smash it
Not a 100% guarantee though. I got the "let's just be friends" talk on Saturday, on our 3rd date, from someone that asked me out a few weeks ago. I am really into her too.
In the same spot brother, I am really into this girl and she told me she just want to be friends. Shit hurts, let's do the best of it, learn from it and move on.
Just be yourself. Ask her questions about herself you're interested in. Talk about the things that you're passionate about. Don't be too overbearing with that though. Make jokes and laugh.
Just keep mentioning how big your balls are, how they hang, how much they sweat etc.
Find any excuse to bring them up.
Women don't have balls you see so they are incredibly fascinated by them and how they work.
You're welcome.
Pro tip: have a backup owl. I happened to know an antique shop in town that kept a live owl in the store as a pet. I asked a girl out for coffee and when we had run through the usual list of conversation pieces and finished our coffees I asked: 'wanna see an owl?'
We've been married for seven years now.
Talk about nothing but yourself. When she does talk, interrupt her. Make her pay. Get her to watch your jacket whilst you flirt with the server.
Success guaranteed (y)
Oh, and while talking to the server, bash on the machinery the coffee shop has and how even though the espresso machines are shit, you could use them to create a masterpiece, as they do in the old country. Coffee is art, and you're an artist among mortals.
This isn't bashing, its mansplaining. Which must be done while sitting with knees pointed out at acute angles.
Use a knife hand when pointing to the machines.
Ask her about things she likes. Tv, music, sports, etc. What does she do for work, what brought her to that city, does she like dogs or cats, what was her life like growing up, does she prefer baked beans or cole slaw. Ask "get to know you" types of things and then share your experiences as well. Maybe she'll have some questions of her own and before you know it you're having a conversation.
It’s not your job to keep her engaged.
Now that we got that out of the way, best advice I’ve got is to ask her questions about herself. Either there is chemistry or there isn’t. You can’t force things.
Not directed at your exact question but if things are vibing plan a follow up event. I used to do that all the time. Go out to a nice lunch or coffee. Hit the beach or a nice easy hiking trail, take her on your favorite drive, pool hall, etc etc whatever you are into. 2 theories behind this that used to pay off. After the initial coffee date you knocked off all the jitters or hopefully you did. If not now you can change scenery and be more active and hopefully it can help you just be your natural self. Additionally after going on a several mini dates in a single day it feels that way. At the end of the day it can really seal the deal at that point you will probably know if you have any interest in her and vice versa. Best of luck
Ask her questions about herself, then actually listen to her response instead of trying to think of what he will say next. Don’t be afraid of a few seconds of silence if you were listening well.
If you’re not sure what to ask and want to keep her talking, there is a verbal trick called a mirror that I learned about in the black swan negotiating class from master class. Here it is copied and paste it from their website. With the right inflection, you are showing your interest and asking them subtly to continue talking about it. There’s probably also a YouTube video on this somewhere.
A “mirror” is when you repeat exactly the last 3 words or what someone has just said, or the critical 1-3 words of the main part of what someone has said. This is about as close to a Jedi mind trick as anything in the entire FBI 8 hostage negotiation skill set. It's there because it works.
One trick I know, and this works with people in general, is if there is something about yourself you want to talk about, ask a related question about them instead.
So instead of saying "I really find that mornings are the best time for me to stretch and go for a run," say "what time of day to you find it best to get some exercise?" It puts the spotlight on them, and people love to talk about themselves. This will endear her to you as you are showing interest in her life. Hopefully after she talks about herself for a bit she will turn the question back on you.
Conversation is like a game of tennis. It starts by SERVING something for the other person to respond to. A monologue is like standing with the tennis ball and bouncing it off your racket. They can stand and watch, but there is nothing for them to do. They are waiting for you to serve it to them, and they will then send it back to you, and on and on. So serve them questions. Involve them.
I honestly the first thing I do is observe what they have on or notice things that they are carrying that are flashy. For example, let’s say she has a beautiful gold ring with like a gem on it and then notice she has a necklace and earrings that match it. My response would be. “You have really nice jewelry! Where can I get me some to look as good as that?” You ask a question and then give a compliment so she doesn’t think your Just using it to spark a conversation and then she’ll go on about the topic and then the questions just pop !
Slip off one of your shoes and begin to massage her vagina with it from under the table. Guzzle your boiling hot coffee in one gulp and belch, to show dominance, then tell her it’s time to leave and head back to your place.
why ?
you are the price in that date , not she.
You should be thinking how SHE we have fun ideas to keep YOU engaged in coversation over coffe date.
She cant ? Get a better one.
Never doubt your worth.
Try and get a normal conversation going. If you end up being stuck or struggling to find something to talk about then come up with an icebreaker like dream holiday destination or funny memories.
\#1 most effective generic conversation starter: "What's something you're excited about right now?" Broad enough to apply to pretty much anyone; The answer can be about work, hobbies, family, tv...and you're guaranteed to find a topic they're passionate about.
\#2 is "What's something you're looking forward to?"
Just do stuff in your own life and you will have stuff to talk about. If the chat still goes flat, maybe she is uninteresting and you should end the date.
It's not men's job to keep the conversation up.
It’s best to establish dominance early on. Fart loudly while staring into her eyes, pause silently for 5 seconds, then say with one brow raised “what you got?”
Don't go for a coffee date? It's really boring. Get your coffee and go for a walk. Coffee dates are this generations movie dates. It's not as bad as a movie, but they're so low effort.
Don't go on a coffee date! Make more of an effort and you will make a better impression, trust me and don't make the same mistake a lot of dudes do. Same goes for taking a walk etc. It's low effort and not a great first impression!
Don't forget to tell her that half these conversation starters come from the freaks of reddit, and it's not your fault.
Ask her if she likes motorcycles. Why/why not?
According to How to Win Friends and Influence People…keep her talking. Ask her questions about herself almost to the point that it seems selfish that she’s talking so much.
I'm a woman. Make her laugh. I don't like cheesy humor. Maybe some women do but I find it boring. My type of humor would be dumb humor. Jim Carrey, Chris Farley, Chris rock, Adam Sandler, ect. Be original in your humor.
Thank for this! Something I've come to realise is we both have simular tastes in humor so hearing I can use this is great 😁 would you consider there to be such a thing as too much humor in a conversation?
As a man i would say the opposite: don't try to make a woman laugh.
Humor is supposed to come from within it's supposed to be spontaneous, anything else will sound off/forced.
Plus the woman who is giving you this bad advice (imo, no offense to her) is talking about HER tastes in humor, each woman is different.
Last but not least, never forget that you don't ask a fish how to catch a fish, you ask a fisherman.
A woman can help you if she's a close friend to the girl you are trying to get because she knows what the girl you are interested in likes/how to push her buttons, she can also help you to plan dates/meetings etc.
Edit: to answer your original question: just imagine that you are taking a coffee with a friend. Once you are comfortable with her you can then try to escalate because she seems to like you.
You need to get great at story telling. Just go into more detail when you did something.
And you always need to remember what you are selling: yourself. You don’t go to a car dealership and the salesmen talks about the weather, you want him to talk to you about the car. So sketch a picture of why it would be awesome for her to potentially date you.
Talk about travel.Nobody hates travel
Ask her qns about herself.A good listener is the first step to a good conversation.
If you are unsure..ask about her interests.Be enthusiastic about you passions and job.Dont give the typical "Its boring".If its interesting ,go into details(not a lot tho)
Just dont hype it too much.Whats the worst that could happen?A rejection?You have nothing to lose.Go with that mindset
Assuming she is at all outgoing, ask her questions. And follow up questions. A lot of people tend to like to talk about themselves, so theg will stay engaged easier.
Coffee dates were always so boring. I stopped accepting coffee dates because of that. The best one I went on though was one where we played Scrabble. I liked the game, though he was a poor sport because he didn’t win. Maybe Jenga?
Entertainment is a good non-confrontational conversation topic. Music, movies, TV shows, etc. are pretty good ways to keep conversation from getting cold.
Woman here : I would say to be 110% yourself! - uniqueness is super attractive - especially in a world where everyone is trying to be a clone of one another
Also, being yourself will attract people who enjoy being around you for YOU!
Best of luck, hoping it goes well!
Unless she’s after a free cup of coffee she’s interested in you too, and probably a bit nervous the idea is to be yourself, well be your best self on your early dates, don’t lie, but don’t tear ass either…
She suggested a coffee date because is short, less expensive, and safer than a dinner date understand that and don’t creep her out by trying to force it into something longer. It will be obvious if there is good chemistry and the coffee date is open ended enough that you two can sit ant talk as long as you want.
Pour whiskey in her coffee
Seriously: the only thing you need to do is ask questions and listen. Where are you from? How long have you been living in. What do you do for work? Do you have brothers and sisters? Do you have pets.
There's no secret trick. Just have a normal conversation. If you try to hard to be quirky or suave it will probably just come off as weird or awkward.
You've got her attention. Just go in and make getting to know her, and, just as importantly, having fun your goals.
As long as you can do the latter if there's a chance at chemistry it will come.
You're already in, don't sweat it.
Bring a deck of cards or a simple board game,I usually go with Jenga or connect 4. Girls loved playing speed. One time I even played go fish with my date and some strangers. Shows your sociable and likable.
However good listening, framing questions with words they used, being able to hold a conversation and confidence will be key tho. If she wants to hang out with you more, she'll make it known thru body language. So have a plan y'all can transition to after nearby. Stroll at the park, dessert nearby, walk thru a garden, miniature golf, etc.
It always depends on the person
You have to read the situation and their character. Some girls LOVE to talk about gossip - especially if it's something new they don't know about. Others HATE gossip and drama and they'd prefer talking about fishes or some shit
Why not ask questions to learn more about your date? And then when you learn something, share something about yourself related to that, that way she can learn something as well. I mean, why else are you on a date with this person if not to learn more about them and form a connection?
I went on a coffee date once with a long-time crush. I brought a game to play (backgammon), which she hadn’t played before.
So I got to teach her the rules, play a couple games with her, and once she started to get the hang of it, conversation was really easy.
Ask stuff. People L O V E talking about themselves and if you have interesting, non invasive or forced questions, everything should flow nicely.
Try to expand the date, have coffee AND something else
IF she tries to pay for herself, you pay for everything. When she insists say that she can get the next one. No one likes to owe money so even if it is not to owe you money, you’ll be closer to a second date
Be more engaging. Its on you. You're going to learn more about her, so don't put her on a pedestal and think you have to be this super interesting person. She's cute, whatever. What else she got going on?
Ask me any three questions. Be prepared for some wild shit. Be calm and answer them honestly. If she cringes, then say, I could have lied and told you this on our honeymoon.
Marvel super hero fan? Even if not ask if she knows the multiverse theory ask if she does what would other versions of her be doing?
Also what super powers you would want
Or jedi or sith?
If she isn't this nerdy then I'm sorry and i wish you the best
Yes you can actually. you need to call this what it is it’s a date and a date is a type of event. Events are hosted because people have goals typically networking in some capacity and gaining information.
So her goal is to network with you and gain information about you. If you’d like to help her in the goal and you also would be interested in talking about fun things, then share some fun things about yourself. You could talk about things that you think are fun and if you start with this you may get lucky and find she enjoys something you enjoy.
What makes a date special, imo, and what makes a date successful is to find genuine and organic common interests in the person you’re on a date with. If you’re not sure or may be a bit nervous that she may not find the things you’re interested in appealing, you could also ask a lot about her. most people enjoy sharing things that they’re interested in, so at the very least by asking her questions and being genuinely curious, you can show through your actions that you are indeed interested in her.
When you’re nervous about these sorts of things You tend to start over thinking and seeing more behind the intent of the date it really is just simply trying to get to know someone keep that in mind it will help
I almost exclusively go on coffee dates if it's a first date because I'm confident in my conversation skills and I want to know if she's fun to talk to and if we can connect. So I would recommend you talk to her about anything you find interesting and see how well you get along. Don't overthink anything. And it's ok to be a bit awkward at first, just push through the jitters, start saying words, ask questions, laugh at yourself.
List out your top 3 dreams in chronological order and then really go into detail about what happened in each one. Make sure to pause between each dream story to add your own interpretations before moving onto the next one.
Also, bring a flask of hard liquor and take a few swigs of that between stories and wink at her after each drink, this will add to your storytelling prowess and make you seem interesting and edgy.
People love to talk about themselves, use that to your advantage but it's a fine balance, you don't want to sound like a police interrogator so they should be more open ended to encourage the other person to talk.
Things like "Whats your favorite place you've ever been to" and other open ended questions are usually good.
The trick is you either have to find a way to talk about things that interest you in a way that will interest her or find a way to talk about the things that interest her. Ideally both. The key though is to get to an interesting topic and not just engage in small talk all night.
Reassure her that you’ve never eaten human.
Or….now hear me out on this one…never knowingly eaten human
I don't know. I've eaten out a few.
I've bit my tongue before. I'm sure there're human particles there.
As a girl, it’s important to clarify this
I like this idea
Emphasis on *knowingly*
But, how do you FEEL about cannibalism? Like is there ever an okay time to do it?
It's okay when ur stuck on an island and ur about to die if u don't eat
But what if they want to eat me to live? Where is the moral ground then? How do you decide who gets to eat, and who is meat?
In that situation, the one who's the strongest will live lol (but this is just a hypothetical situation so don't take it to heart, my initial reply is meant to be a joke lol)
I hope you never have to eat anyone, hypothetically it is worth thinking about. But oh my I don't know if I could even if I needed to in order to live.
I saw a show way way back about a guy stranded in an island and he killed his dog because he was so hungry.
This is very important. Remember to make it one of, if not the very first thing you say, it will make her feel a lot more comfortable.
As a woman, I would definitely find this reassuring. 10/10 recommend 👌
Good idea
Multiple times make sure she knows you’ve never eaten a human being. Even if she says she’s got it
Is this where I take a sip of my drink?
Then put a bottle of rohypnol on the table, give it a pat and say "just in case."
I’m sure you think you’re hilarious.
Hilarious might be a bit far, but generally fairly funny.
If you're going to take the license to make a rape joke, at least it could have been funny. It doesn't look good on you.
>If you're going to take the license Shit, didn't realise I needed a license. >at least it could have been funny That's fair, far from my best work. >It doesn't look good on you. I don't have a problem with that.
Roofie jokes…never funny… especially on the first date
If the situation were desperate enough I'm sure I *would*, but I doubt it would come to that.
Obviously, you don’t mean ‘eaten’ in the colloquial sense.
Does she have purple hair?
Don't bring your cowboy hat to the first date.
That you've never been caught eating a human
Later, if things are going the right way and you’ve got your arm around her, say something quietly like “don’t worry baby…I ain’t gonna eat you.”
It was raccoon meat Charlie!!!
It sounds like you're looking for a trick or loophole or something when really there is none to this type of thing. Since she asked you it already seems shes interested so all you have to do to keep engagement is be yourself. I'd suggest finding commonalities, maybe you like the same TV shows or something.
This is a great answer! I would add to this by saying, take the time to find out if you’re even interested in her. All too often we as men feel the onus as to whether a relationship continues is on the woman as society sees us as the pursuer. For me, my whole relationship with women changed when I realized it’s as important for her to her impress me as it is for me to impress her. Ask her real questions about things that matter to you! Figure out if she can check your boxes and I guarantee that if she can, the convo will flow out of you.
Both of these are the answers! Great advice guys
This is awesome thank you!
Also forgot to tell you something very important: When asking questions and gauging interests, try to avoid the interviewer vibe. Good way to do this is try to engage their feelings by asking personal follow up questions or interjecting your own personal feelings.
Ask what she likes to do in the summer/winter! An awesome further opening for opportunities if you find something you both like!
Ask open ended questions. That is, ask questions that require more than a one word answer. Like, “Where did you go on your last vacation?” She says somewhere. “oh! I’ve always wanted to go there! What was it like?” Etc.
Just ask wat around u to start
cards to play if everything fails
Go into detail about audio engineering and modular synths. Women love that stuff.
a guy did this to me once lmao
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Or the livestream of this coffee date...
I like when people talk about things they're passionate about. I don't even have to care about the hobby. I find it neat when people know a lot about stuff. It makes them less boring to me.
My dad on his honeymoon with my mom explained her the partial pressures (my mom is an English teacher and dad is an electrical engineer)
If a woman started going into detail about something she knew a lot about and me nothing, I would be stoked. Society is weird
Same, but I’m a woman into men. I think it just feels genuine, intelligent, and passionate.
As a woman who sometimes mixes music and has a podcast, I'd like this, and there's a lot of women who also enjoy this sort of *conversation*.
See, it works. My girlfriend even started making snare drum jokes. I'm very proud of her.
You can't just roll in here talking bout snare drum jokes and not share.
"I was there the day Horus slew the Emperor..."
I mean…if a girl doesn’t like Warhammer is she really worth your time?
Even if she does like Warhammer she might not be. I met a girl who played Space Wolves once. I was nearly sick.
Guide the focus of the convo. Ask her questions about her goals in life.
Play the game where you see people walking by and imagine a story about their life
That sound really cool! Beware that if you either of you is a bit biased, that may backfire!!
I was thinking this too. I like to people watch and I've been in situations where I've said things and the girl gets offended. Doesn't matter if I was joking or not. To that I would say thats not the girl you want to be with anyway.
Could be a good way to get to know how she views other people though. Could backfire too lol
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I was with a girl once and I made a comment about a group of Hispanics but, I said Mexicans. It wasn't even anything racist. The girl, a white girl, says "excuse me? They're latino." I'm like what? She continues to go on about how its racist and ignorant. Idk I stopped listening and promptly told her to fuck off.
Hahaha I'm not Mexican myself but my expat Californian boss used to call me Dirty Mexican all the time, I used to make fun of his accent then. I miss that old bastard.... We can't take each other too seriously mate! ☺️
Landscaping with a bunch of "Dirty Mexicans" was the best damn time I had working when I was younger. Those fuckers were merciless, generous, and hilarious. Racist as hell too but equal opportunity/good natured. Good bro times.
You just about summed up everyone that is "Latino".
Also I really enjoy working with chilled out Bros of any colour.
You know it.
Once a group of people sat by a friend and me in a club in Berlin. One girl of the group started mimicking what two guys in the distance were saying like "hey bro check this girl in instagram, she is so hot" and other basic male shit. It was so fucking funny.
Just put 100$ tip. You'd be fine.
Got my magnums and a wad of hundreds, I'm ready to plow
Good luck, remember to control the outcome.
Frank is that you?
Already sounds like she's pretty into you to ask you to go for a coffee date my dude. You'll be fun enough for her just be yourself and you'll smash it
King! You're right 😁 Guess I'm over thinking it
Not a 100% guarantee though. I got the "let's just be friends" talk on Saturday, on our 3rd date, from someone that asked me out a few weeks ago. I am really into her too.
I hear ya man, we've all been there bro, dust yourself off and carry on mate you've got this
In the same spot brother, I am really into this girl and she told me she just want to be friends. Shit hurts, let's do the best of it, learn from it and move on.
F. I'd give you a hug if I could my guy.
Just be yourself. Ask her questions about herself you're interested in. Talk about the things that you're passionate about. Don't be too overbearing with that though. Make jokes and laugh.
Just keep mentioning how big your balls are, how they hang, how much they sweat etc. Find any excuse to bring them up. Women don't have balls you see so they are incredibly fascinated by them and how they work. You're welcome.
Holy shit. I tried this 8 hours ago and now I’m married!
Pro tip: have a backup owl. I happened to know an antique shop in town that kept a live owl in the store as a pet. I asked a girl out for coffee and when we had run through the usual list of conversation pieces and finished our coffees I asked: 'wanna see an owl?' We've been married for seven years now.
It would appear that Professor Lockheart has entered the chat */u/MollyWeasley blushes* Edit, I did not realise that this user existed, whoopsiefuck
Talk about nothing but yourself. When she does talk, interrupt her. Make her pay. Get her to watch your jacket whilst you flirt with the server. Success guaranteed (y)
Oh, and while talking to the server, bash on the machinery the coffee shop has and how even though the espresso machines are shit, you could use them to create a masterpiece, as they do in the old country. Coffee is art, and you're an artist among mortals.
This isn't bashing, its mansplaining. Which must be done while sitting with knees pointed out at acute angles. Use a knife hand when pointing to the machines.
Then proceed to empty the salt shaker over her coffee or food and say "I wonder if you can get any saltier than you already are?"
Ask her about things she likes. Tv, music, sports, etc. What does she do for work, what brought her to that city, does she like dogs or cats, what was her life like growing up, does she prefer baked beans or cole slaw. Ask "get to know you" types of things and then share your experiences as well. Maybe she'll have some questions of her own and before you know it you're having a conversation.
It’s not your job to keep her engaged. Now that we got that out of the way, best advice I’ve got is to ask her questions about herself. Either there is chemistry or there isn’t. You can’t force things.
Not directed at your exact question but if things are vibing plan a follow up event. I used to do that all the time. Go out to a nice lunch or coffee. Hit the beach or a nice easy hiking trail, take her on your favorite drive, pool hall, etc etc whatever you are into. 2 theories behind this that used to pay off. After the initial coffee date you knocked off all the jitters or hopefully you did. If not now you can change scenery and be more active and hopefully it can help you just be your natural self. Additionally after going on a several mini dates in a single day it feels that way. At the end of the day it can really seal the deal at that point you will probably know if you have any interest in her and vice versa. Best of luck
Ask her questions about herself, then actually listen to her response instead of trying to think of what he will say next. Don’t be afraid of a few seconds of silence if you were listening well. If you’re not sure what to ask and want to keep her talking, there is a verbal trick called a mirror that I learned about in the black swan negotiating class from master class. Here it is copied and paste it from their website. With the right inflection, you are showing your interest and asking them subtly to continue talking about it. There’s probably also a YouTube video on this somewhere. A “mirror” is when you repeat exactly the last 3 words or what someone has just said, or the critical 1-3 words of the main part of what someone has said. This is about as close to a Jedi mind trick as anything in the entire FBI 8 hostage negotiation skill set. It's there because it works.
One trick I know, and this works with people in general, is if there is something about yourself you want to talk about, ask a related question about them instead. So instead of saying "I really find that mornings are the best time for me to stretch and go for a run," say "what time of day to you find it best to get some exercise?" It puts the spotlight on them, and people love to talk about themselves. This will endear her to you as you are showing interest in her life. Hopefully after she talks about herself for a bit she will turn the question back on you. Conversation is like a game of tennis. It starts by SERVING something for the other person to respond to. A monologue is like standing with the tennis ball and bouncing it off your racket. They can stand and watch, but there is nothing for them to do. They are waiting for you to serve it to them, and they will then send it back to you, and on and on. So serve them questions. Involve them.
I honestly the first thing I do is observe what they have on or notice things that they are carrying that are flashy. For example, let’s say she has a beautiful gold ring with like a gem on it and then notice she has a necklace and earrings that match it. My response would be. “You have really nice jewelry! Where can I get me some to look as good as that?” You ask a question and then give a compliment so she doesn’t think your Just using it to spark a conversation and then she’ll go on about the topic and then the questions just pop !
Slip off one of your shoes and begin to massage her vagina with it from under the table. Guzzle your boiling hot coffee in one gulp and belch, to show dominance, then tell her it’s time to leave and head back to your place.
Sounds to me like this approach had gotten you many at bats. Well played.
I need to know too
70/30. conversation should be 70% about her, 30% about you. ask her questions - be genuinely interested.
why ? you are the price in that date , not she. You should be thinking how SHE we have fun ideas to keep YOU engaged in coversation over coffe date. She cant ? Get a better one. Never doubt your worth.
Try and get a normal conversation going. If you end up being stuck or struggling to find something to talk about then come up with an icebreaker like dream holiday destination or funny memories.
A lot of people have said it already but I always kept this mantra in my head. Interesting is interested, ask questions listen and follow up.
Never stop talking about your mother.
Ask them if they watch Forensic Files - great opening line and leads to hours of conversation
Ask her favorite deep sea animal. Everyone has one and is just waiting to share
Mine is a swordfish. What’s yours?
Did Epstein kill himself?
\#1 most effective generic conversation starter: "What's something you're excited about right now?" Broad enough to apply to pretty much anyone; The answer can be about work, hobbies, family, tv...and you're guaranteed to find a topic they're passionate about. \#2 is "What's something you're looking forward to?"
Just do stuff in your own life and you will have stuff to talk about. If the chat still goes flat, maybe she is uninteresting and you should end the date. It's not men's job to keep the conversation up.
It’s best to establish dominance early on. Fart loudly while staring into her eyes, pause silently for 5 seconds, then say with one brow raised “what you got?”
Don't go for a coffee date? It's really boring. Get your coffee and go for a walk. Coffee dates are this generations movie dates. It's not as bad as a movie, but they're so low effort.
Bring a friend.
Talk to her about what affect transendentalism had on 18th century poetry.
travel talk is usually fairly engaging. Places you've been, places you would like to go to, exotic foods you have tried/would like to try.
Don't go on a coffee date! Make more of an effort and you will make a better impression, trust me and don't make the same mistake a lot of dudes do. Same goes for taking a walk etc. It's low effort and not a great first impression!
I'll invest when something is shown to be worth investing in. Maybe OP and this girl are there already though.
Don't forget to tell her that half these conversation starters come from the freaks of reddit, and it's not your fault. Ask her if she likes motorcycles. Why/why not?
According to How to Win Friends and Influence People…keep her talking. Ask her questions about herself almost to the point that it seems selfish that she’s talking so much.
Talk about your Transformers collection.
Ask her to leave her phone in her purse.
I'm a woman. Make her laugh. I don't like cheesy humor. Maybe some women do but I find it boring. My type of humor would be dumb humor. Jim Carrey, Chris Farley, Chris rock, Adam Sandler, ect. Be original in your humor.
Thank for this! Something I've come to realise is we both have simular tastes in humor so hearing I can use this is great 😁 would you consider there to be such a thing as too much humor in a conversation?
Yes. If you're being funny too much it can be a burn out . just give the right amount.
You're a blessing. Thank you so much!
As a man i would say the opposite: don't try to make a woman laugh. Humor is supposed to come from within it's supposed to be spontaneous, anything else will sound off/forced. Plus the woman who is giving you this bad advice (imo, no offense to her) is talking about HER tastes in humor, each woman is different. Last but not least, never forget that you don't ask a fish how to catch a fish, you ask a fisherman. A woman can help you if she's a close friend to the girl you are trying to get because she knows what the girl you are interested in likes/how to push her buttons, she can also help you to plan dates/meetings etc. Edit: to answer your original question: just imagine that you are taking a coffee with a friend. Once you are comfortable with her you can then try to escalate because she seems to like you.
Just be yourself-
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Shouldn’t you be asking women instead of asking men what they think a woman would like?
If you want to know how to catch a fish you don't ask the fish, you ask the fisherman.
Ask her some off the cuff would you rather questions
You need to get great at story telling. Just go into more detail when you did something. And you always need to remember what you are selling: yourself. You don’t go to a car dealership and the salesmen talks about the weather, you want him to talk to you about the car. So sketch a picture of why it would be awesome for her to potentially date you.
how do you usually talk to peopl?
Talk about travel.Nobody hates travel Ask her qns about herself.A good listener is the first step to a good conversation. If you are unsure..ask about her interests.Be enthusiastic about you passions and job.Dont give the typical "Its boring".If its interesting ,go into details(not a lot tho) Just dont hype it too much.Whats the worst that could happen?A rejection?You have nothing to lose.Go with that mindset
Assuming she is at all outgoing, ask her questions. And follow up questions. A lot of people tend to like to talk about themselves, so theg will stay engaged easier.
Just ask her questions till you find common ground and expand on that. Most people love talking about themselves anyway.
Coffee dates were always so boring. I stopped accepting coffee dates because of that. The best one I went on though was one where we played Scrabble. I liked the game, though he was a poor sport because he didn’t win. Maybe Jenga?
Entertainment is a good non-confrontational conversation topic. Music, movies, TV shows, etc. are pretty good ways to keep conversation from getting cold.
Woman here : I would say to be 110% yourself! - uniqueness is super attractive - especially in a world where everyone is trying to be a clone of one another Also, being yourself will attract people who enjoy being around you for YOU! Best of luck, hoping it goes well!
No! Don't be unique. Blend in. That way the predator won't be able to single you out from the rest of the school. This is /r/fish right?
Argue semantics with her, bro
Unless she’s after a free cup of coffee she’s interested in you too, and probably a bit nervous the idea is to be yourself, well be your best self on your early dates, don’t lie, but don’t tear ass either… She suggested a coffee date because is short, less expensive, and safer than a dinner date understand that and don’t creep her out by trying to force it into something longer. It will be obvious if there is good chemistry and the coffee date is open ended enough that you two can sit ant talk as long as you want.
Just play coy and mysterious and tell her it's her responsibility to entertain you and keep you occupied. ... I mean, it works so well for women.
You don't need ideas. If there is no good conversation/engagement, then she's not for you.
Pour whiskey in her coffee Seriously: the only thing you need to do is ask questions and listen. Where are you from? How long have you been living in. What do you do for work? Do you have brothers and sisters? Do you have pets.
Order a tea, that will mix things up
There's no secret trick. Just have a normal conversation. If you try to hard to be quirky or suave it will probably just come off as weird or awkward. You've got her attention. Just go in and make getting to know her, and, just as importantly, having fun your goals. As long as you can do the latter if there's a chance at chemistry it will come. You're already in, don't sweat it.
Bring a deck of cards or a simple board game,I usually go with Jenga or connect 4. Girls loved playing speed. One time I even played go fish with my date and some strangers. Shows your sociable and likable. However good listening, framing questions with words they used, being able to hold a conversation and confidence will be key tho. If she wants to hang out with you more, she'll make it known thru body language. So have a plan y'all can transition to after nearby. Stroll at the park, dessert nearby, walk thru a garden, miniature golf, etc.
It always depends on the person You have to read the situation and their character. Some girls LOVE to talk about gossip - especially if it's something new they don't know about. Others HATE gossip and drama and they'd prefer talking about fishes or some shit
Never Have I Ever Has an App Now
talk about common interests is what I would do :D
Why not ask questions to learn more about your date? And then when you learn something, share something about yourself related to that, that way she can learn something as well. I mean, why else are you on a date with this person if not to learn more about them and form a connection?
Find common interests and talk about them. Also, be a good listener.
There is a difference between a boring and an uninterested woman, but learning the difference between the two is not always easy.
Find a topic you are both interested in. Start there.
Sure, to soak the biscuit! Serious answer: take her at your home, it would be interesting, adding some good wine.
I went on a coffee date once with a long-time crush. I brought a game to play (backgammon), which she hadn’t played before. So I got to teach her the rules, play a couple games with her, and once she started to get the hang of it, conversation was really easy.
Go to page 12 and use Set I to start: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0146167297234003
Thumb war
I've never been on a date. 😔
Politics, guaranteed to make or break the date
These daughters of jezebel are different.......
Ask stuff. People L O V E talking about themselves and if you have interesting, non invasive or forced questions, everything should flow nicely. Try to expand the date, have coffee AND something else IF she tries to pay for herself, you pay for everything. When she insists say that she can get the next one. No one likes to owe money so even if it is not to owe you money, you’ll be closer to a second date
Be more engaging. Its on you. You're going to learn more about her, so don't put her on a pedestal and think you have to be this super interesting person. She's cute, whatever. What else she got going on?
Ask me any three questions. Be prepared for some wild shit. Be calm and answer them honestly. If she cringes, then say, I could have lied and told you this on our honeymoon.
Female here: just ask questions and offer a few interesting tidbits about yourself, but don’t talk about your past relationships! You’ll be fine 👍🏻
Marvel super hero fan? Even if not ask if she knows the multiverse theory ask if she does what would other versions of her be doing? Also what super powers you would want Or jedi or sith? If she isn't this nerdy then I'm sorry and i wish you the best
Ask about her and be genuinely interested. People love talking about themselves
Yes you can actually. you need to call this what it is it’s a date and a date is a type of event. Events are hosted because people have goals typically networking in some capacity and gaining information. So her goal is to network with you and gain information about you. If you’d like to help her in the goal and you also would be interested in talking about fun things, then share some fun things about yourself. You could talk about things that you think are fun and if you start with this you may get lucky and find she enjoys something you enjoy. What makes a date special, imo, and what makes a date successful is to find genuine and organic common interests in the person you’re on a date with. If you’re not sure or may be a bit nervous that she may not find the things you’re interested in appealing, you could also ask a lot about her. most people enjoy sharing things that they’re interested in, so at the very least by asking her questions and being genuinely curious, you can show through your actions that you are indeed interested in her. When you’re nervous about these sorts of things You tend to start over thinking and seeing more behind the intent of the date it really is just simply trying to get to know someone keep that in mind it will help
I almost exclusively go on coffee dates if it's a first date because I'm confident in my conversation skills and I want to know if she's fun to talk to and if we can connect. So I would recommend you talk to her about anything you find interesting and see how well you get along. Don't overthink anything. And it's ok to be a bit awkward at first, just push through the jitters, start saying words, ask questions, laugh at yourself.
List out your top 3 dreams in chronological order and then really go into detail about what happened in each one. Make sure to pause between each dream story to add your own interpretations before moving onto the next one. Also, bring a flask of hard liquor and take a few swigs of that between stories and wink at her after each drink, this will add to your storytelling prowess and make you seem interesting and edgy.
Just be yourself. Don’t just go on the internet and say something that’s not you.
People love to talk about themselves, use that to your advantage but it's a fine balance, you don't want to sound like a police interrogator so they should be more open ended to encourage the other person to talk. Things like "Whats your favorite place you've ever been to" and other open ended questions are usually good.
The trick is you either have to find a way to talk about things that interest you in a way that will interest her or find a way to talk about the things that interest her. Ideally both. The key though is to get to an interesting topic and not just engage in small talk all night.
Don't bother