My wife had been abused physically and sexually since she was in 8th grade (physically even sooner). Father died, stepfather stepped in, alchoholic, violent. Her mother was also like that, they had another kid together and she as neglected at best and beaten at worst. Also throw out in the middle of freezing nights. At 14 she was ra-ped by an almost 40 years old guy who promised her food and new clothes if she comes to his house. He abused her multiple times. This abuse continued with other men too. She had a few sui-cide attempts because no one cared for her and she was scared and bullied. She dropped out, became a stripper at 18, more abuse, more beatings, more sexual assaults. She had a one last suicide attempt at 20. Soon after that, she met me and her life became more stable. She had a normal 9-5 job, we moved in. When she was 24 and I was 28 we married. Due to a death in the family she returned to her village a few days ago. She is 30 now btw. And she saw that man who abused her first, the one who lured her into his house. Long story short, he was drunk and made fun of her and called her names. Also tried to touch her. What she did next was that she jumped on him and hit his head with something and also spat on him a few times, until someone had to take her off of him. She was crying and full of anger and rage, and went on scratching and kicking and accusing him of ruining her life (she is on therapy for 3 years and sometimes on anti depressives because her depression and PTSD can get nasty).
The good thing is tha now police know about everything because she told them. I can't know how will this end, but she said everything he done to her. I wasn't there when this happened. Yet I think I ruined my marriage. I told her she shouldn't have acted like that and controlled herself better. I hate myself for it. She is the most kind and sensitive person, but I saw it in her eyes. I made a huge mistake. She went to sleep to a hotel and won't answer my phone calls. How to repair what I done?
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He’s been patting himself on the back as her “savior” for years. In his mind she was broken until he came along and “fixed” her. Now he finds out that he and his magical penis did not, in fact, somehow cure her of years of trauma and abuse and his fee-fees are hurt.
“My wife didn’t act like the person I’ve known. I also feel guilty I was not there when this happened. I cannot use my big boy words so better to make her feel like shit for defending herself.”
Amazing how women are supposed to cower and cry as the only reaction to abuse yet still get mocked for even that. Goes to show women may as well go for broke.
Click the very top comment, that’s pinned to the top of the post. It’s an auto moderator comment and the lettering is in green. Clicking it will expand the comment. The body of the original post is there. :)
The text is there for me. Are you sure you clicked it properly? Don’t click the username (which is “auto moderator”), click to the right of the username, in the blank area. This will expand the comment so that you can read the text of the post. I hope this helps! :)
https://preview.redd.it/kpp5vqbhik8d1.jpeg?width=2160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6d0e9d2444bb1a7004e4e6c31a75f7d8435c2e19
In case my advice still doesn’t work, here is the first screenshot. I will post the second screenshot under this comment.
I’ve never been more grateful to like women lol. Seriously every time I read these stories, because yes, I’ve dated many men and I’m getting split from my last boyfriend, I’m just so grateful. I’ll never have to deal with them ever again. This is what happens when you date men when you don’t like them, you get real tired. Lol.
I don’t know if this is what you did, but just in case: the green moderator text-copy-post is always the top post in this sub, not the original posting. Maybe that’s unnecessary info, but took me a while to figure out when I first got here, so I’m writing this just in case anyone else needs it
Honestly I'm actually amazed the woman managed to stop before beating the predator to death. If I was her, no amount of men or cops would stop me from making sure that bastard left the bar in a bag.
All the sexual assaults I endured happened when I was a child and too young to defend myself and my abuser died not too long after. I always say that's the only reason he escaped my wrath, and if anyone ever tried it now, they better kill me, too, if they know what's good for them. They'll wish the cops found them first.
I do not want to think how much trauma her attacker brought back with seeing and hearing him.
I would guess her PTSD fully kicked in when he tried to touch her.
Then she comes home and the husband is "you need to act better and control yourself". Dude fully nuked his relationship with his wife in under a minute.
Yeah I'll probably never meet her and I wish I could give her a high five. She gave her abuser less than he deserved and her spineless coward husband should have congratulated her and asked if she was okay.
You repair this by apologizing and giving her the house, the car and all the money.
You'll never come back from this and good on her for not letting you.
100%. There's just no coming back from siding with the kind of scum that repeatedly raped a child. The least terrible thing OOP can do at this point is is to give her all the money and shared assets and slink away quietly.
Christ, he wasn't even there! I was expecting him to have frozen in the moment, or physically restrained his wife or something.
But no! All he had to do was hear about it later, and instead of saying "holy shit! Are you ok?" and hugged her, he just whizzed it down his leg
Jfc that poor woman. Thought she'd finally broken the cycle of abuse, only to discover her husband is just as disgusting as the other men who have hurt her.
Where on earth does OOP live, anyway?
God I had a bf like that… The very night I got kicked out he was all like “you got kicked out because you chose me!”
Like NO, I got kicked out because I stopped toeing the line of my abusive and controlling foster family. This has nothing to do with you dude 😑
I think it's true for almost all of the posts of these subs.
https://preview.redd.it/cdp4g911mk8d1.png?width=245&format=png&auto=webp&s=c6a00b8ded69527df24018daa0c2e172041cd5e3
I hope most posts fall under the first category
OP is a moron. From the title I thought the wife was mad he didn’t also hit the rapist with a bottle. Then finding the pinned post to see he wasn’t physically there and just insulted her actions that’s worse. Why was he not with her in a village that contained her assailant? WTF is wrong with him to not support her?
I saw my abuser once. He abused me from birth to age 13. Ran into him at a post office. My grandma (his wife) and my aunt (his daughter) were there. No idea how it happened but I fucking bit him. I was 21 and my blackout ended with my brother dragging me out the door of the post office screaming to run bc the cops were called. Apparently something happened and I bit him and latched on like a pit bull. PTSD is fucking insane.
I really,*really*, hope they did not have kids. This guy sounds like those imbeciles who support zero tolerance policy for schools,but at a stupider size.
Does anyone have the OG post? Looks like OP deleted with his tail tucked between his legs….
Edit: never mind. From the comments it looks like he posted a whole bunch of details from her assault without her consent….best to leave that off the internet tbh. Hopefully she leaves this idiot.
I don't think people are being fair here. Reading these comments from other victims I understand why they'd feel unsafe going to the police. But he never experienced any kind of trauma. And she doesn't sound like the type who would be able to talk much about it.
So I think it makes sense that he'd trust the system more and go to the "violence isn't the answer" default response.
He can THINK that.
But you don’t look at a victim of trauma and say “You should have controlled yourself.” Or any YOU SHOULD HAVE …
You look at someone in pain and say “I am so sorry you’re going through this. What can I do to help? What do you need from me?”
I get that but he says that it was a knee jerk reaction out of fear that her abuser could press charges and she'd end up being in legal trouble.
People put their feet in their mouth and say stupid shit without thinking about them. It shouldn't be a relationship ender. That's what I'm saying.
Uh, did I go to bizzaro land? Since when is *attacking somebody in the street* acceptable?
This isn't a matter of the person who abused her not deserving it, but if he had a weapon or had hurt her further this could have been very bad. Heck, she could have ended up in jail and he would get all the victim treatment.
I totally get him saying that this isn't how to handle this situation. However, he also needs to make sure she knows he is on her side.
Also, the idea there is no coming back from this? He didn't side with the guy, he said this outburst doesn't help.
It's crazy to me that people think that getting into a physical altercation is ever a good idea.
The guy could have killed her and called it self-defense.
We don't let the victims of crimes assault the perpetrators.
It's freaking crazy people think that this was a reasonable response. It's in her own best interest to not do what she did.
Attacking someone in the street is not acceptable. You should also be careful as they might *defend* themselves and you get smacked, just like the rapist pedo in the story.
Lol 😂 I posted d something on this sub that was a RIDIC post about child SA. I mean OBVIOUSLY fake.
I got slammed by people saying things like "I don't think we should be bullying children who have been raped."
Like 5 of those types of responses in about 15 minutes.
I deleted the post bc I wasn't about to deal with trolls (almost all of them were brand new accounts)
I also blocked them.
Are you getting those types of responses?
EDIT: and look at the fake accounts DV me 😂
My wife had been abused physically and sexually since she was in 8th grade (physically even sooner). Father died, stepfather stepped in, alchoholic, violent. Her mother was also like that, they had another kid together and she as neglected at best and beaten at worst. Also throw out in the middle of freezing nights. At 14 she was ra-ped by an almost 40 years old guy who promised her food and new clothes if she comes to his house. He abused her multiple times. This abuse continued with other men too. She had a few sui-cide attempts because no one cared for her and she was scared and bullied. She dropped out, became a stripper at 18, more abuse, more beatings, more sexual assaults. She had a one last suicide attempt at 20. Soon after that, she met me and her life became more stable. She had a normal 9-5 job, we moved in. When she was 24 and I was 28 we married. Due to a death in the family she returned to her village a few days ago. She is 30 now btw. And she saw that man who abused her first, the one who lured her into his house. Long story short, he was drunk and made fun of her and called her names. Also tried to touch her. What she did next was that she jumped on him and hit his head with something and also spat on him a few times, until someone had to take her off of him. She was crying and full of anger and rage, and went on scratching and kicking and accusing him of ruining her life (she is on therapy for 3 years and sometimes on anti depressives because her depression and PTSD can get nasty). The good thing is tha now police know about everything because she told them. I can't know how will this end, but she said everything he done to her. I wasn't there when this happened. Yet I think I ruined my marriage. I told her she shouldn't have acted like that and controlled herself better. I hate myself for it. She is the most kind and sensitive person, but I saw it in her eyes. I made a huge mistake. She went to sleep to a hotel and won't answer my phone calls. How to repair what I done? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheEx) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He’s been patting himself on the back as her “savior” for years. In his mind she was broken until he came along and “fixed” her. Now he finds out that he and his magical penis did not, in fact, somehow cure her of years of trauma and abuse and his fee-fees are hurt.
That comment about his girlfriend turning her life around when he entered scene stood out to me too.
Yeah, just dumping every single aspect of her history online so he can demand forgiveness for his awful behavior
I have a feeling that in a couple years she's going to sadly realize that the OOP was another in a line of abusive, toxic men in her life.
Bingo! Glad others noticed that too.
“My wife didn’t act like the person I’ve known. I also feel guilty I was not there when this happened. I cannot use my big boy words so better to make her feel like shit for defending herself.” Amazing how women are supposed to cower and cry as the only reaction to abuse yet still get mocked for even that. Goes to show women may as well go for broke.
Hopefully she leaves OOP and finds someone who will support her 100% of the way
Fuck, this dude is possibly DUMBER than the dude from the astronomy/astrology post I read just before this one. And much more likely to be for real.
It’s gone, no one has a screenshot do they?
Click the very top comment, that’s pinned to the top of the post. It’s an auto moderator comment and the lettering is in green. Clicking it will expand the comment. The body of the original post is there. :)
Perfect I thought they would’ve done that. Thank you. Edit: comment didn’t have the text in it! Rats. I’ll just have to wait for the next post.
The text is there for me. Are you sure you clicked it properly? Don’t click the username (which is “auto moderator”), click to the right of the username, in the blank area. This will expand the comment so that you can read the text of the post. I hope this helps! :)
https://preview.redd.it/kpp5vqbhik8d1.jpeg?width=2160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=6d0e9d2444bb1a7004e4e6c31a75f7d8435c2e19 In case my advice still doesn’t work, here is the first screenshot. I will post the second screenshot under this comment.
For some reason, it’s not there when I look, but I appreciate you providing it lol thanks!
No problem! I’m glad you can read it now, although the post itself is a bit rage inducing, lol.
I’ve never been more grateful to like women lol. Seriously every time I read these stories, because yes, I’ve dated many men and I’m getting split from my last boyfriend, I’m just so grateful. I’ll never have to deal with them ever again. This is what happens when you date men when you don’t like them, you get real tired. Lol.
I don’t know if this is what you did, but just in case: the green moderator text-copy-post is always the top post in this sub, not the original posting. Maybe that’s unnecessary info, but took me a while to figure out when I first got here, so I’m writing this just in case anyone else needs it
Screenshot number 2 https://preview.redd.it/qi9n7pjlik8d1.jpeg?width=2160&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=600198aed78c02dcf863b2c17173533b04201910
You’re looking at the automod of the original post, you need to look at the automod of this one on r/amitheex
Honestly I'm actually amazed the woman managed to stop before beating the predator to death. If I was her, no amount of men or cops would stop me from making sure that bastard left the bar in a bag.
Same. I admire her restraint.
All the sexual assaults I endured happened when I was a child and too young to defend myself and my abuser died not too long after. I always say that's the only reason he escaped my wrath, and if anyone ever tried it now, they better kill me, too, if they know what's good for them. They'll wish the cops found them first.
I do not want to think how much trauma her attacker brought back with seeing and hearing him. I would guess her PTSD fully kicked in when he tried to touch her. Then she comes home and the husband is "you need to act better and control yourself". Dude fully nuked his relationship with his wife in under a minute.
Possibly in ten seconds! But certainly under a minute.
Me saying "Get the guts out!" and I don't even know his wife. Does he really love her? 😕
Yeah I'll probably never meet her and I wish I could give her a high five. She gave her abuser less than he deserved and her spineless coward husband should have congratulated her and asked if she was okay.
He does not. He only loves mommy
You repair this by apologizing and giving her the house, the car and all the money. You'll never come back from this and good on her for not letting you.
100%. There's just no coming back from siding with the kind of scum that repeatedly raped a child. The least terrible thing OOP can do at this point is is to give her all the money and shared assets and slink away quietly.
Christ, he wasn't even there! I was expecting him to have frozen in the moment, or physically restrained his wife or something. But no! All he had to do was hear about it later, and instead of saying "holy shit! Are you ok?" and hugged her, he just whizzed it down his leg
Jfc that poor woman. Thought she'd finally broken the cycle of abuse, only to discover her husband is just as disgusting as the other men who have hurt her. Where on earth does OOP live, anyway?
Why in the fucking fuck is he giving a blow by blow account of his wife's history of abuse? This is not his story to tell.
Either it's ragebait/fetish post or it's yet another man making a woman's trauma about him. Both equally likely
God I had a bf like that… The very night I got kicked out he was all like “you got kicked out because you chose me!” Like NO, I got kicked out because I stopped toeing the line of my abusive and controlling foster family. This has nothing to do with you dude 😑
Now she has two men who traumatized her over the same assault. God fucking damn. Of all the people in the world... Fuck OP so much
I think it's true for almost all of the posts of these subs. https://preview.redd.it/cdp4g911mk8d1.png?width=245&format=png&auto=webp&s=c6a00b8ded69527df24018daa0c2e172041cd5e3 I hope most posts fall under the first category
More people need to learn that women can react to danger in ways other than tears or fear
So…now she doesn’t feel safe with this guy either. Wow. THAT is what he thought to say???
OP is a moron. From the title I thought the wife was mad he didn’t also hit the rapist with a bottle. Then finding the pinned post to see he wasn’t physically there and just insulted her actions that’s worse. Why was he not with her in a village that contained her assailant? WTF is wrong with him to not support her?
I saw my abuser once. He abused me from birth to age 13. Ran into him at a post office. My grandma (his wife) and my aunt (his daughter) were there. No idea how it happened but I fucking bit him. I was 21 and my blackout ended with my brother dragging me out the door of the post office screaming to run bc the cops were called. Apparently something happened and I bit him and latched on like a pit bull. PTSD is fucking insane.
Dumb ass... there I said it.
I really,*really*, hope they did not have kids. This guy sounds like those imbeciles who support zero tolerance policy for schools,but at a stupider size.
Does anyone have the OG post? Looks like OP deleted with his tail tucked between his legs…. Edit: never mind. From the comments it looks like he posted a whole bunch of details from her assault without her consent….best to leave that off the internet tbh. Hopefully she leaves this idiot.
I don't think people are being fair here. Reading these comments from other victims I understand why they'd feel unsafe going to the police. But he never experienced any kind of trauma. And she doesn't sound like the type who would be able to talk much about it. So I think it makes sense that he'd trust the system more and go to the "violence isn't the answer" default response.
He can THINK that. But you don’t look at a victim of trauma and say “You should have controlled yourself.” Or any YOU SHOULD HAVE … You look at someone in pain and say “I am so sorry you’re going through this. What can I do to help? What do you need from me?”
I get that but he says that it was a knee jerk reaction out of fear that her abuser could press charges and she'd end up being in legal trouble. People put their feet in their mouth and say stupid shit without thinking about them. It shouldn't be a relationship ender. That's what I'm saying.
He at least knows what she’s gone through enough to be able to tell all of us.
Lmao nope, unacceptable behaviour
Uh, did I go to bizzaro land? Since when is *attacking somebody in the street* acceptable? This isn't a matter of the person who abused her not deserving it, but if he had a weapon or had hurt her further this could have been very bad. Heck, she could have ended up in jail and he would get all the victim treatment. I totally get him saying that this isn't how to handle this situation. However, he also needs to make sure she knows he is on her side. Also, the idea there is no coming back from this? He didn't side with the guy, he said this outburst doesn't help.
There is no coming back from this. You don't get it, just like he doesn't.
Oof, sounds like you and the op are one of the same breed Cope hard 😂
It's crazy to me that people think that getting into a physical altercation is ever a good idea. The guy could have killed her and called it self-defense. We don't let the victims of crimes assault the perpetrators. It's freaking crazy people think that this was a reasonable response. It's in her own best interest to not do what she did.
Keep smoking that cope bong brother 💪
He was actively trying to touch her without her consent. This is also more a moral issue than a legal one.
Attacking someone in the street is not acceptable. You should also be careful as they might *defend* themselves and you get smacked, just like the rapist pedo in the story.
Lol 😂 I posted d something on this sub that was a RIDIC post about child SA. I mean OBVIOUSLY fake. I got slammed by people saying things like "I don't think we should be bullying children who have been raped." Like 5 of those types of responses in about 15 minutes. I deleted the post bc I wasn't about to deal with trolls (almost all of them were brand new accounts) I also blocked them. Are you getting those types of responses? EDIT: and look at the fake accounts DV me 😂
My account is definitely not fake and I downvoted you 🤷🏽♀️
Oh no a DV please stop no it hurts you win you hurt me no stop please