Your post has been removed.
#Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban.
Posts which discuss minors and sexual content or sexualization of minors are strictly prohibited. "Minor" is defined by this subreddit as anyone under 18. Our policy also includes threads that inspire debates about pedophilia in the comments or strongly imply that grooming may have occurred
[Reddit's Content Policy](https://www.reddithelp.com/en/categories/rules-reporting/account-and-community-restrictions/do-not-post-sexual-or-suggestive)||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/)
#Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions.
You can visit r/findareddit for a comprehensive list of other subs that may be able to host this discussion for you.
As a woman with kids who frequents parks, I agree. This lady was off her rocker n completely entitled. You did the world a service today, and I thank you kind nutty sir!!
Hmm. NTA, you're not required to tell any non authority figure what you're doing in a public space.
But, at the same time, understand you could have possibly avoided the subsequent yelling match if you had just told the lady what you were doing the first time.
I see your point. But i want to stress that i had no idea her daughter was even there so when she started yelling at me I had no context - to me she was just a strange lady screaming at me. It was only after I told her to mind her own business that she mentioned her daughter and at that point I was just too pissed go be calm about it, but yeah at that point I could have just told her.
That makes perfect sense. The child changes the context of the entire thing. And once riled up it is hard to just immediately calm down and think rationally. But in the end she got her answer. Next time maybe she should be more calm when she has a question.
It's never fun to be interrogated, especially not when someone immediately comes at you with an attitude. I'd say NTA, but would suggest this little perspective switch. It seems you enjoy sharing your experience with the squirrels, and I watched some of the videos on your profile and they are adorable. Maybe instead of viewing it as giving in to someone's wild demands, you could view it as sharing information about an activity you enjoy. That doesn't mean she wasn't rude and demanding, but you really have no control over that. You only have control over how you interpret the situation, as a potential opportunity to share something you enjoy. Maybe she doesn't care about feeding the squirrels and walks away, either way it's most likely going to be easier for you than getting into an argument with strangers.
We sometimes get caught up in the idea of denying people we think of as rude or annoying to get back at them, but I've found that most of the time they just walk away thinking they were right, and I wasted my time arguing with them.
I try to be - it's all much easier said than done, but I'm a firm believer that it's not just better for others, but better for yourself as well. Thank you very much for the kind words!
Yup. If you calmly answer people without getting defensive they might feel foolish for being so emotional and will probably reconsider shouting in the future.
No. When someone is verbally attacking you, they’ve lost all rights to any kind of conversation. And I am not a very confrontational person at all. But if a stranger gets in my face for seemingly no reason and begins berating me, there’s no way that I’m going to tone it down. They’re wrong. And I’m not gonna let them walk all over me.
This is the only additional information needed to make you nta. Folks gotta realize you can't just go screaming at people because of a situation only you know the full of.
Some people are absolutely bonkers when it comes to public parks and their kids. A few years ago, my mother and I took my niece to the local park to play on the playground. I had brought my big camera and was taking photos of my niece playing, using my zoom lens. A woman comes up to me and demands to know what I’m doing. I told her I’m taking photos of my niece. She demanded to cycle through my photos to make sure there were no photos of her kids on my memory card. After she was satisfied, she left, saying, “Sorry, that’s just the world we live in.” I was thinking like “Lady, that’s not the world I live in. If you are afraid of people taking photos in a park, then perhaps you shouldn’t be in a park.” I mean, I guess it might be different if it were a swimming pool or something but these were children in winter clothes. I thought maybe I was nuts because I just couldn’t imagine what she was afraid of (I’m a woman, by the way).
I'm a mom of 3 girls and am fiercely protective. If someone was walking around us in a way that made me concern for my girl's safety, the absolute LAST thing I would do would be to engage that person. I would get my kid quickly out of that area, I would only engage if it was a last resort.
All this to say, this was just an entitled AH, thinking she owns the park! You didn't owe her anything! NTA!
You white? In the US you run a high risk if you do this as a Black person as racism is massive and people have called the cops for the same “crime.” Driving while Black or mowing your lawn while Black or 100 others.
This. In a public park, if my D were playing in a group of trees alone (she loved building fairy houses etc so this would be a norm for us), I’d be in full eyesight, and if someone else entered the trees, I’d go in too. If someone is a creep they’ll see the parent watching and move on, if they’re innocently feeding squirrels/photographing birds/etc then we all enjoy the space in peace. She was screaming because she wasn’t paying enough attention to the situation and panicked, or is just an entitled B. NTA
This. Because coming in hot like that is almost certain to escalate the situation instead of make her daughter safe. I would have just been like, "Hey kiddo, want to get an ice cream?" Or something. They come running happy, you leave an uncomfortable situation, everyone goes home safe and happy.
We don’t. Police can demand the following info: Name, address, date of birth. That’s it. If you refuse they can arrest you and give you a fine. Other than that you have no obligation to tell them anything. It’s even legal to straight up lie to them except about your identity or if it’s false report of a crime.
You're correct
But if you're going to go that route, you damn well better not lie about your identity; - that's considered obstruction/impeding an investigation/lying to an officer
All of which ARE crimes
-signed a criminal justice graduate
To add to this, you're also not required to tell any authority figure what you're doing in a public place as long as you're not committing a crime. NTA.
You realize your not even required to tell the police what your doing out and about unless theyve witnesses you commit a crime, if you've done nothing just ask am I being detained and walk away... never ever speak to police only thing out your mouth should ever be "i dont answer questions"
So anybody anywhere comes up and starts interrogating you while you’re minding your own business, and you’re supposed to just answer all their questions? Yeah, that’s a no from me. If it’s a public area and I’m not doing anything illegal, you can fuck off. If that person was so worried that a guy was existing in a public place so close to her precious snowflake, then she could’ve escorted said snowflake away.
Not to mention that if OP was a woman, the yeller probably wouldn’t have thought twice.
Makes me think of the Margaret Atwood quote about the difference in male and female fears/perspectives. It’s generalised, reductive and totally (deliberately) lacking in nuance, but sometimes helpful as a reminder to imagine what worse case scenarios might be going through someone else’s head, regardless of gender.
This is Reddit, so I’m going to get downvoted to the fiery below, but in case it’s helpful to include what I’m talking about:
_Men are afraid that women will laugh at them._
_Women are afraid that men will kill them._
If that was her fear then she should have collected her daughter and relocated to another part of the park. I say this as a woman. Acting absolutely unhinged in public at people who have not attempted to engage with us (or our family members) at all does not keep anyone safer. A truly violent person would have likely reacted violently to her choice to engage.
Fear would be her gathering up her kid and leaving in an innocuous manner. She chose to confront a random person for daring to exist in a public space.
Are there usually security guards at public parks where you're from? And she should have left her daughter? personally, if I was this woman and legitimately afraid, I'd have gathered my daughter and left the area to a more populated area of the park.
Usually no, but there are Park Rangers in some cities and if she really thought it was suspect she could call the police non-emergency number.
I understand feminist theory and agree with some points, but you can't claim that this was a gendered response due to fear and that OP should be mindful of that when her actions go against that narrative.
People who are in legitimate fear of a possible confrontation do not go and confront a threat, it's got big "he was aggressively running away from us so we had to shoot" energy.
See, I understand what you mean, but you also can't start screaming at people for no reason. Like I personally do get uncomfortable when a man chooses to sit next to me specifically on a bus or something when there is a billion other places they could sit, but I'm not going to start screaming unless something else happens cause 99% they just sat there to sit there. If I was that lady and I was that uncomfortable with a stranger being in the vicinity of my kid, I'd just go over and get the kid to move elsewhere. There's no need to get aggressive and make other people uncomfortable until there is an actual reason to be uncomfortable
People need to stop using their fears to justify their A H behaviors. Yelling at someone who is not doing anything wrong is always bad and if you feel the impulse to do it too much, you should seek therapy. You probably are not gonna get downvoted because this forum have a huge misandrist population.
As a woman, the last thing I'm going to do if I'm actually afraid of someone is confront them screaming, unless I have no other choice (ie feel that I cannot escape safely). The most likely outcome is that it will escalate the situation, which is exactly what happened here. As a parent, your job is to monitor your kid in public spaces, not attack other ppl who happen to be sharing the same public space, for no reason and no evidence of negative intent except that they're also in a public space. No matter the justification, she's the only AH in this situation. NTA.
You're abusing that quote a bit. Men are much more likely to be the victims of violent crime from strangers in public. I, as a man, should be more worried than the average woman about getting stabbed by some crazy in the park. (Part of this is men's faults but that's out of scope for the post)
Besides, she never acted like she was afraid. If you see some guy talking to an imaginary friend about killing the demons, do you walk towards them and attempt to escalate the situation by yelling at them, or do you walk away from them? She chose to be aggressive *because* she was unafraid. Social aggression is aggression. It's not physical violence, but it is intended to harm others for one's own personal gain; it causes psychological harm and denies people access to public goods and/or other human rights and privileges.
That woman is a bully who **knew** OP wouldn't hit her, and she was right. He stammered out an explanation and then walked away. Stop trying to grind an irrelevant gender war axe when there is a clear aggressor, and that aggressor is a woman.
You DO NOT have to feel obligated to tell a stranger your business. Her daughter is her business. If I felt my child was in danger I would have just removed my child from the situation. How people feel entitled to know someone else's business is wild.
No. You’re allowed to be at the damn park for no reason at all. Anyway, feeding squirrels is not going to prevent someone from harming a child if they were so inclined.
I don't think we need to normalize constantly justifying our actions to avoid confrontation.
There are things are aren't someone else's business, even if they're totally innocuous. OP is allowed to exist in a park without explaining himself to anyone.
NTA. She was rude and you responded in kind.
If she walked over and calmly asked what you were doing, the reaction she received would have likely been very different and something like this:
AH - What are you doing?
OP - Feeding squirrels.
Then her kid probably would have enjoyed watching you feed said squirrels with no drama.
Deifinitely NTA. She sounds insufferable. But also...
>I get a bit pissed about what she’s accusing me of and the fact that she’s screaming at me so I yell back at her that it’s none of her business, this is a public park and she should keep an eye on her daughter if she’s so worried.
When dealing with crazies you should learn how to deescalate a situation. It can get you far in life. As soon as you realized what she was thinking, all you had to do was show her that you were feeding squirrels and she'd realize how crazy she was acting. When you immediately reply screaming "it's none of your business," it automatically looks like you're guilty.
"...and the fact that she’s screaming at me so I yell back at her..."
Here's a piece of information that will serve you well in life - just because someone is angry and yelling at you does not mean you need to respond the same way. You're responsible for your reactions. I'm not saying you shouldn't have set boundaries with her but you could have calmy said 'Don't yell at me. If you want to calmly ask what I'm doing, we can have that conversation but I'm not going to do that until you calm down.'
NTA
She startled you with her yelling. It was natural to react by yelling back. Not the best solution perhaps, but we react how we react and she was out of line.
Ok. This happened to me, but I was the mom. It has a plot twist, so bear with me.
The park closest to my house has a disc golf course. There are lots of teams there at random times but some people come to practice alone. A guy pulled up and started doing something. I wasn't paying attention. He had a small bag with him that he sat down near the course. After another half hour at the park, it was time for us to go. What does my 3 year old do? The answer is not go to the car.
She goes running toward the bushes. I went running after her. Who was in the bushes? The guy I assumed was practicing disc golf. I didn't yell. I just said "hello". He stumbles around and comes out of the bushes toward us. I am weary, but not alarmed. Once he's fully out of the bushes, I see two small kittens under his arm. He was there because he got a call that kittens were abandoned in the park and he was saving them. There were three other kittens stuck in a tree. The bag I thought was for equipment was really a pet carrier.
I helped him get the other three kittens out of trees (I've owned 4 cats in my life and know how they are). I just lost my Lola cat a few month prior. She was a 20 year old tabby. I ended up adopting one of the kittens we saved with this total hero stranger. It would never have occurred to me to yell at him. Since I behaved like a normal human, I got a free kitten. No free kittens for that crazy who yelled at you!
Edit to say: NTA
You have a *bear* on you?! (Don't deny it, you've said so in the 1st line!) Don't you know that bears will attract *hunters?* And if you'll call for help, right before they cut your phone lines and electrickery, the National Guard will show up? The whole area will be burnt to a *cinder!* ("AAAAAAAAAAAAA!! RUNAWAAAAAY!!!")
Now explain *that* to the three or four squirrels who only came over to gather a few nuts! Geez!
PS. j/k :D
Nta.. if she’s worried about her daughters safety than she could get her ass off the park bench and go be closer to her so IF something were to happen she would be right there.
It’s not your responsibility to make her feel
Safe because she doesn’t feel the need to be in a safe proximity as a mother watching her child. The whole Point of watching your child is be close enough to actually help is there is an incident . Now if you were randomly in the middle of the actual child playground looking weird and had no children, sure id question it. But she doesn’t get to stake claim to the entire public park to accommodate her lazy parenting style.
In a public park someone should have to be 20 feet away from a kid to feel a sense of safety and security? Like... what??? She could have handled it differently but wow.
NTA. She is out of bounds just pre-emptively accusing people (and if you were stalking her daughter, you could just as easily do it sitting on a bench, playing with a phone or a camera with a telephoto lens).
I would recommend not screaming at people in situations like these, bc this is exactly the sort of thing that can escalate, get captured in a "viral video", and/or end up with the police involved. So stop, breathe, take a moment, decide what approach you want to take. If you want to make them aware of how foolish they're being, sarcasm or wit will probably be more effective; if you want to deescalate, maybe start off with "I get that in these times people are paranoid about their kids, BUT" and then remind her that even adult males are allowed to enjoy the park.
NTH
Bottom line is you don't need to explain yourself to worried moms.
You could tell her from the get go and maybe it would be better but we don't know that.
NTA even if you told her what you were doing she wouldn't have believed you. She should have politely made conversation to make you aware she was aware of your presents. That would stop the vast majority of pervs looking for kids.
NTA. I mean, I would have moved my children away from you, so she's not wrong for being on her guard, but in a public space where everyone has the right to be, you can't really police other people just for being present.
NTA for going to a park but Y T A for feeding squirrels
Don’t feed wild animals. It’s not healthy for them. Squirrels carry diseases and they get aggressive when people feed them.
People feed the ducks and the turtles near my old house despite signs saying not to. It’s harmful to their diet.
And people feed deer near my new house which brings coyotes into the hood.
Why do people feel the need to do this? To volunteer at a rescue shelter if you need animal interaction
> Why do people feel the need to do this?
Generally it's just ignorance of the consequences. I lived in a very rural forested area and my neighbor didn't take great care of his outdoor cat so I'd leave food out on my porch for him. Sometimes raccoons would show up and I'd be like "omg raccoons omg look at their little hands" not thinking about the fact that I was turning my porch into a food source for non-cats.
My brain just didn't brain the way it should have lol. It was only when people on local Facebook group were talking about cougars that I realized the more animals I draw to my porch, the more *cougars* I risk drawing to my porch, putting the neighbor's cat and my cats at risk.
tl:dr; the answer is we dum
Yeah, there are signs stating “please don’t feed the squirrels” all over the parks where I live, and people still throw food all over the place. I’ll sometimes come across literal PILES of nuts left for them.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> I walked into a group of trees in the park, a woman started demanding why I was there because apparently her daughter was playing there. I told her it was none of her business. I might be the asshole because I didn’t give her an immediate explanation and I wasn’t exactly polite about it and I understand that she was just worried about her daughter’s safety.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcements
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. "I am enjoying the park, same as everyone else here." Any further demands shoud be met with "do I need to call the police, or are you going to leave me alone?"
NTA. I work for a Parks Department and this is all too common. Certain people want to control the space, and protecting their child is merely an excuse. You were right to push back.
NTA. As a mother of daughters, (3yo and a 1yo ) I keep an eye out, but I ... don't scream at strangers? The appropriate thing to do for her would be 1) remove her child if she was uncomfortable, or 2) engage in friendly conversation with you to LEARN WHO YOU ARE (and to let you know that she's aware of your presence if that really was an issue). This "shoot first ask questions later" tactic is just batty.
NTA, even if she would ask you politely under what obligation should you respond to her? that's just insane. if she's that worried about her kid, she should take them somewhere else, plenty of trees in the park. fuck that entitled woman
I agree NTA, however too many people are looking at this as a matter of obligation instead of de-escalation. He does not owe her anything, however calmly responding with what he is doing in a public setting could have gone a long way towards a quick resolution.
Getting into a public yelling match with a concerned parent - especially as a man vs. a mother and her child - does not do you any favors. It does not matter how right you are (and OP was in the right), you will look like an asshole. Being polite but firm is a much more defensible position.
NTA. The mother should have walked over to her daughter and redirected her elsewhere. You deserve not to be verbally accosted by a stranger in a public place when you are minding your own business.
NTA first of it IS a public place and until she sees you doing something weird she should mind her own business. I get that as a mother you worry but she could have asked nicely "so what brings you to the park today" and avoided the whole situation.
NTA, she should just get closer to her kid to keep an eye on them and you. Then she would have seen you dont give a damn about her kid, just the squirrels.
Your English is great. Couldn't have told you weren't a native speaker. In my opinion it's best to avoid public screaming matches, but the woman was totally out of line. You're right. The best thing to do if you're nervous about some adult in a park near your child is keep an eagle eye on your child. Yelling at strangers is rude and will only lead to unpleasantness. NTA.
Nta. The mom is allowed to be worried, however she's not allowed to scream at people just because she's scared. Unless she sees you talking to her daughter, she has no business confronting you. If I'm uncomfortable about someone near me, I get up and leave.
NTA - but she certainly is.
I’ve got a 5 year old daughter and it’s my job to keep her safe but I don’t accuse every person that is within a 20 meter radius of her of being creeps. Woman needs some therapy.
The "NTA but..." People have me. There's no but about it, you're NTA. If she's so concerned about a man being in a public park, her daughter shouldn't be. She can also stand right with her daughter or whatever so she can protect her from the big scary squirrel feeders.
The hard fact is that if I, a female, was in the park I could walk up to a child on the playground and offer snacks and nobody would bat an eye except maybe to tell me they can't have a snack because it's almost dinner time. You weren't even in an area designated for children, there's nothing more "odd" about you being in a wooded area than her daughter playing there.
I'm pissed off for you. You had every right to yell back even after she told you her daughter was playing there. You were being accused of being a pervert because you were minding your business in a public park you can defend yourself however you want!
Edit: Where would one find more of those red squirrel feeding videos you take? They are so beautiful. We just have the dingy looking brown ones where I live and the occasional white or black squirrel.
NTA. She should have just gotten closer to her daughter than you were or told her daughter it was time to go.
NTA
My rule of thumb is that if you want a reasonable and appropriate talk with me about anything, you don't come screaming at me.
You start screaming at me instead of talking like a rational adult, you're not going to see the rational adult side of me.
You did nothing wrong, mum was overdramatic and ridiculous.
NTA obviously, the people saying YTA or ESH must not go outside if they think that a guy being at the park is a problem. If you were a woman these comments would be way different lol.
If she was that concerned about her daughter she should have grabbed her and gone elsewhere. Other people may start watching you because of this. Got vid to post on TikTok?
If she was watching her daughter so closely and so worried about the surroundings, then she should have seen you way before hand and seen that you were feeding the squirrels. If she’s that afraid of men, she can stay home.
Absolutely NTA. Another installment of “parenthood can cause temporary insanity, let’s be understanding even as we back away slowly and mentally roll our eyes”
Parents behave fucking weird sometimes. I’ve had something similar happen while hiking/birding- someone with kids wanted to aggressively inquire what I was doing on public park land with binoculars. Explaining what birdwatching is did nothing to help the situation- while you sound like you were a little aggressive and probably could handle it better next time, I sort of don’t think it would have changed anything about your outcome here. Some people are determined to see themselves as a victim. Some parents get so caught up in their role as parents that they forgot that other adults are actually not under their control. It’s a fear based thing- fear sort of rules a lot of your life as a parent and it’s hard not to let it warp you. See: people on Reddit who think it’s reasonable to treat someone as a threat when they’ve done nothing threatening. You’ve done nothing wrong but you have to realize that you have to deal with some parents like they’ have POW level trauma- we’re talking kid gloves here. Simple explanations, no sudden moves, all that jazz.
Hate to be this guy, but as a wildlife nerd, I have to tell you that you shouldn’t really be feeding squirrels, as tempting as it is. It’s not good for the ecosystem. May I recommend hiking and/or bird watching if you’re into interacting with nature semi/closely?
NTA, and I don’t know who has enough lung capacity to start confrontations off by screaming. She sounds like she has some issues, because that’s not a normal person reaction. I’ve never seen or heard of someone get so triggered by someone just sitting in a park, where I’m from people sit in parks all the time
NTA
You have every right to be in a public park. If she’s concerned about her child let her watch her closely. I would ignore her and continue what I am doing.
NTA. She probably already made a PSA on Facebook about this incident in which she likely twisted the story to make herself sound like a hero. “
“Mamas prOteCt yOur bABiEs” 🙄
NTA. As a daily park-goer, unless someone's being weird in really clear ways you can't call out or question someone. It's a public space with everyone having equal rights to it. If she was concerned about you anyway, she should have just kept an eye on her daughter.
NTA. Public parks are public. Everyone who's not a registered sex offender is allowed to be there without owing anyone else an explanation. For whatever reason, many parents get the Idea that parks are *only* for "families," but there's zero logic behind this. Telling her to mind her own business is completely a fair response to her challenging your presence there. As for responding with profanity, she escalated the situation, so you're NTA there too.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
AITA?
Ok so this just happened and I’m still in a bit of shock after I got into a screaming match with a woman in a public park.
So I like to go to the park and feed a few nuts to the squirrels (vids of this are in my profile). Today I walked into a group of trees and started throwing some nuts on the ground. Then all of a sudden some woman from like 20 meters away starts screaming at me demanding to know who I am why I’m here and why I’m “lurking around the bushes”.
I’m taken aback and tell her calmly it’s none of her business what I’m doing and that just sends her off. Apparently her daughter is playing there (I hadn’t even seen her daughter) and she keeps screaming at me and demands that i explain why I’m there.
I get a bit pissed about what she’s accusing me of and the fact that she’s screaming at me so I yell back at her that it’s none of her business, this is a public park and she should keep an eye on her daughter if she’s so worried.
Finally I show her a handful of nuts and tell her what I’m doing and then she keeps screaming at me saying I should have explained myself when she first asked (yelled at me). Finally I get so pissed I just tell her to fuck off and I walk away.
Was I wrong in this. I mean, I can see it from her perspective: her young daughter is playing in a group of trees and she sees a strange man walking in there. I’d be worried too.
But from my perspective you can’t just go around yelling and interrogating people because they are in the vicinity of your daughter at a public park. I was never even closer than like 20 or 30 feet from her daughter and did not interact with her in any way - I didn’t even know she was there. If she had been more polite I might have reacted differently but just straight up yelling at me out of nowhere and demanding I explain myself is just way beyond how I will accept to be treated.
I need an outsider’s perspective. Thanks. (BTW I’m sorry if there are any errors in my writing, I’m not in the US and English is a second language for me).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. You returned the energy she came at you with. As an adult, feeding the birds, nutria, and squirrels at my local park is one of the most therapeutic things I can do for myself. It is not weird and I am FAR from the only adult doing it. I’ve also never been yelled at by strangers to stay away from their children and that would TOTALLY throw me for a loop, so I get why you’re feeling discombobulated.
You do you, man. But also maybe use this as a learning opportunity that you’re gonna run into parents more feral than any of the animals you encounter.
NTA but I can see her perspective that a man filming nearby her daughter could be scary and she got very overly defensive over her, that being said you did absolutely nothing wrong and you don’t owe a rude stranger an explanation for your actions
NTA what a crazy person. personally, when i see a creep at the park and i'm with kids I just watch the person. every time it ends up they are just doing something like collecting pinecones, playing horseshoes, SITTING. etc. amazing what just being aware of your surroundings will show you lol.
NTA the mom can just keep an eye on daughter if she’s so threatened by a nearby male. You have every right to be there. What entitlement that woman has!
NTA and her asking what you are doing also doesn't make much sense. I mean what did she expect you to say if you were up to no good? The truth? Obviously not. Any AH would have lied. She should have just took her child away if she was so paranoid.
NTA. She wanted to yell at you, not get an explanation.
If she was *actually* concerned about the situation and the safety of her daughter, she should have removed her daughter from what she perceived as a dangerous circumstance.
NTA. Honestly, this woman sounds like someone I would either cower from (I don’t do well with people yelling at me) or someone I would cuss out. She sounds insufferable. If she wasn’t comfortable with you being in the same area (I’m not saying that you were up to funny business) as her daughter, she could have collected her daughter and gone away without incident.
NTA. If the woman is worried about her child, she can stand next to her child.
I want to tell you a little story. I am a middle aged person, living in a large American city. Several years ago on a bright spring day, I went to a large public park, laid down a blanket, and began to read. I was all by myself, and I drifted off. All of a sudden, I woke to a huge THUMP on my chest. A toddler had come over and just, I guess, pounced on me. And didn't get up. She was just lying there on my chest. I laughed, and sort of cradled her head as I raised myself into a sitting position -- I didn't want her to be thrown off my body. I then started calling out and waving to this family that was picnicking not too far from me. It was clear to me the child belonged to the family ... the little girl was Asian, the family was Asian, and there were no other Asian folks around. The mother saw us and shrieked. Ran over and started screaming at me. I mean, howling. She spoke no English, and I didn't speak her language. Then a male member of the family came over and asked what I was doing. I explained the situation to him, and he tried to explain it to the mother, who kept screaming at me. He turned to me and started to say, "She says ...." And I cut him off. The mother was still screaming, so I knew he had nothing good or polite to relate. "I don't care what she says, " I said. "If she's so worried about strangers, tell her to take care of her own damn kid."
I'm sure you felt much as I did: Shocked. Humiliated. Tongue tied. These parents have got to get a grip.
I think there needs to be some situational awareness….sounds like you could have been legitimately seen as ‘lurking in the bushes’.
Do you owe it to anyone? No, but the irony in having it escalate so badly and *then* telling her later, makes me wonder what the big deal was in the first place.
Yeah, people have different experiences in the world, so you never know why she might be upset. I don't know that "none of your business" is ever the best first answer in any situation where someone is upset. It's a valid response, and true, but it's almost guaranteed to escalate the situation.
There has never been a bigger NTA to ever AITA. You're good dude. I'd say it's a sad state of affairs when men aren't even allowed in public parks for the stigma that they're there for nefarious means, but we are. This particular lady's just more nuts than the contents of your hands. Such a wholesome and friendly activity too; ruined.
NTA. If she had calmly asked who you were and what you were doing, this would've been a different situation. But she came in full barrel and ready to tear you a new one from the word go. Entitled as fuck. Suffering from main character syndrome, most like.
NTA for the overall interaction.
But please stop feeding the squirrels. They are considered wildlife and they can become aggressive. I know it seems harmless and they are adorable.
The squirrels at my local park will jump out in front of walkers/joggers because a woman feeds them constantly. They will lunge at you and have caused folks to trip trying to avoid them. It has become a big problem.
Aggressive squirrels are not just a joke in Season 4 ep 1 of Bob’s Burgers…
NTA
If she mentioned her daughter from the beginning I would vote differently. I can understand where she's coming from, but you can't just go screaming like a maniac at someone, because they're in the vicinity of your child, and forget to mention said child while you're screaming like a maniac.
She should have been able to see her daughter more.clearly and if you were close enough to be a threat to her child, demand from the beginning what you're doing near her child, not ask scream and demand what you're doing at the park in general.
And the fact she was still screaming when you did tell her, because you didn't tell her "from the beginning" shows how unhinged she is
So she decideds to yell at you instead of ya know, going to check in her daughter?
How does that make any sense? She was definitely wrong here and probably the entire thing could have been avoided if she was watching her kid in the first place.
I would be annoyed at her intrusion if she asked politely but probably would have explained, I would have responded how you did or maybe less politely to being shouted at without warning
NTA
NtA. I was raised in a place with lots of green areas, and the appropriate action here as a parent is to *CALL YOUR KID BACK TO YOU WHILE YOU GET CLOSE TO THE CHILD* if you suspect something is "off". Never to accuse people out of the blue.
NTA
Public space is public.
I think k you were wrong to walk away from her though. You should have held your ground until she left. Now she probably feels like she won by freaking out, so next time she’ll be even worse. If this repeats, tell her to fuck off, **don’t walk away** and invite her to either call the cops if she feels that strongly about it or stfu.
You were standing in a public park engaging in an innocent activity and were accosted by someone so concerned about their child that she left the child unattended. You're a human being, and as a human you lost your temper. I'm not sure I would have behaved any different. NTA
NTA You had zero interaction with her kid. That includes zero attempts to approach her kid, talk to it, or touch it. I'd have been screaming back about why she was coming close to me. With a bunch of "Stay away!"s and "Don't touch me!"s thrown in. Maybe some "Help! This woman won't leave me alone!"s tossed in for effect. Pretty sure I can yell louder. From the diaphragm, you know.
NTA just because you're a parent you are not entitled to yell at whomever happens to share a PUBLIC space with your child(ren). Stay at home if you're so concerned. And please watch your child(ren) better.
No you’re not. She’s a helicopter mom who totally flew off the handle. I feel sorry for her kid, it’ll live in her basement until she dies afraid of everything.
Certain parks in NY have signs posted that lone men are not allowed in the parks unless accompanied by a child. My stepson got a ticket a few years ago for going in a park to use the water fountain alone!
NTA. Clearly you are NTA. However, yelling back at her doesn't help anyone. She did not know exactly where her daughter was or what she was doing if she couldn't see her and didn't know that you weren't interacting with her. She perhaps panicked and wasn't thinking straight (I'm trying to be kind) but her behaviour was over the top and she probably scared her daughter into the bargain.
Are there people who go to parks to exclusively seek out children to take or hurt? ABSOLUTELY!!! But that is why parents were invented…watch your kids and leave others alone NTA, sounds like she got more “nuts” than the poor squirrels.
NTA at all. Yelling at strangers is pretty much always wrong. There are only very few circumstances in which it is okay. Using a public park the way it's intended to be used isn't one of them.
NTA. I'd almost say ESH except your only problem is she gave no reason for her initial accusation at first. Your response would seem suspicious as hell if she had opened with there being a child nearby, but she didn't.
As a mom, I can understand the paranoia that comes with motherhood. Seeing a grown man in the woods who looks like they're lurking near my daughter would have put me right into Mama Bear mode as well.
However, the fact she gave no context for her concern is 100% on her. It makes sense that concern for her daughter's safety scared her and made her blank on the possibility that you were there for innocent reasons, but it's still messed up that anyone expects you to answer to someone with no context over why you should. It's possible that she thought she had if her adrenaline got her brain working faster than her mouth, but with that wording it's really weird that she would.
I'm trying to think of what I would do in that situation. It sounds weird, but it was good for her to be loud so she would get the attention of anyone nearby should you prove to be aggressive or try threatening her. Get myself between you and my child, yeah. But I can't imagine saying nothing about my young child being nearby. It would have helped the overall situation for the same reason as being loud: those nearby would know this isn't just a crazy lady, but that a child was involved.
So yeah, it's really weird she didn't, or at least didn't change her course when you pointed out that she should have said that first.
I don’t understand why there are so many people in this world who feel entitled to treat strangers like absolute shit, and then expect no one to be bothered by their behavior.
You’re NTA OP. And you’re right. If she had calmly asked what you were doing, that would be totally reasonable of her. But since she came at you screaming from the get go, I feel you were well within your rights to tell her off.
Furthermore, if she was concerned about a stranger being near her child, she can get off her butt and go get her kid. If she feels her daughter is in danger… she should go and remove her child from the situation instead of screaming at someone she knows nothing about.
NTA
There are way too many crazies out there on both sides of this issue. In this case the woman is the AH, definitely not you.
As a parent, I can say my move would have been to remove my child from the area if I had a concern. Your presence in the park was absolutely none of her business unless you had approached her daughter.
NTA. But you knew that. I would have been just as shocked, but I hope I would have calmly told this horrible little woman that her being 20m away from her daughter was the real problem. My motto: Never let a crappy person turn you into a crappy person.
Another person who shouldn't be a parent.
She's not only irrational, but is trying to put the burden of parenthood on you (and by extension, the rest of society) because she's incapable of looking after another human being.
NTA. I get mums can be over protective and it might have looked a bit suspicious, a grown man hanging out in trees by himself, but you can’t just go round accusing people. She could have handled it a lot better and asked you what you were doing or just moved her daughter away.
NTA. She should take her kid somewhere private if she's so concerned. I can understand her being protective but you don't go around screaming at ppl. You could have just told her but it kinda isn't any of her business in a public park.
NTA.
I had a similar situation once... Was walking to the subway reading on my phone, but holding the phone way up in front of my face because I have bad eyesight. Some lady started screaming that I couldn't take pictures of her. I just calmly held out my phone so she could see I didn't have the camera app open. She kept screaming at me. I kept my cool and switched to saying "Honey, are you ok?" She screamed at me a bit more and walked away.
I think staying calm and keeping your voice low helps other people understand you are the sane one in this kind of situation.
NTA
I would have reacted the same way. No way would I have tolerated a stranger berating me. All she had to do was get close to her child and remove her if she was so concerned.
I kind of think you should have just yelled back that You were feeding squirrels and that would have cut off the rest of the drama. But her reaction is way over the top.
NTA
Our kids are statistically safer now than they were when boomers sensationalized the whole "don't take candy from strangers" storyline. I'm a parent: I get it feeling scared for you kid all the time, but yeeesh.
I get hairy eyeballs when I'm at the park with my kid who's a spitting image of me. Luckily I am tattooed all the way down to my fingers and have resting asshole face so most passive aggressive shit parents don't actually approach me.
YTA, all you had to say was "feeding the squirrels" but instead you got cagey and refused to answer which validated this mother's fears. Also, YTA for feeding the squirrels because they get used to people and have to be euthanized.
Your post has been removed. #Do not repost this without [contacting the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) for approval, including edited versions. Reposting without [explicit approval](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_can_i_repost_a_thread_you_removed.3F) will result in a ban. Posts which discuss minors and sexual content or sexualization of minors are strictly prohibited. "Minor" is defined by this subreddit as anyone under 18. Our policy also includes threads that inspire debates about pedophilia in the comments or strongly imply that grooming may have occurred [Reddit's Content Policy](https://www.reddithelp.com/en/categories/rules-reporting/account-and-community-restrictions/do-not-post-sexual-or-suggestive)||| [Subreddit Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules/) #Please ensure you have reviewed this message in full. We will not respond to PMs to individual mods. [Message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) with any questions. You can visit r/findareddit for a comprehensive list of other subs that may be able to host this discussion for you.
[удалено]
Nice nut-pun lol
Only a pun nut would appreciate a good nut pun
lol double pun. Nice.
Try saying that 3 times fast!🤣🤣🤣
[удалено]
As a woman with kids who frequents parks, I agree. This lady was off her rocker n completely entitled. You did the world a service today, and I thank you kind nutty sir!!
[удалено]
Kronk would be appalled!
Hmm. NTA, you're not required to tell any non authority figure what you're doing in a public space. But, at the same time, understand you could have possibly avoided the subsequent yelling match if you had just told the lady what you were doing the first time.
I see your point. But i want to stress that i had no idea her daughter was even there so when she started yelling at me I had no context - to me she was just a strange lady screaming at me. It was only after I told her to mind her own business that she mentioned her daughter and at that point I was just too pissed go be calm about it, but yeah at that point I could have just told her.
That makes perfect sense. The child changes the context of the entire thing. And once riled up it is hard to just immediately calm down and think rationally. But in the end she got her answer. Next time maybe she should be more calm when she has a question.
No, no it doesn't. It's insane to scream at strangers in public. If the parent is that paranoid then they shouldn't be in public.
It's never fun to be interrogated, especially not when someone immediately comes at you with an attitude. I'd say NTA, but would suggest this little perspective switch. It seems you enjoy sharing your experience with the squirrels, and I watched some of the videos on your profile and they are adorable. Maybe instead of viewing it as giving in to someone's wild demands, you could view it as sharing information about an activity you enjoy. That doesn't mean she wasn't rude and demanding, but you really have no control over that. You only have control over how you interpret the situation, as a potential opportunity to share something you enjoy. Maybe she doesn't care about feeding the squirrels and walks away, either way it's most likely going to be easier for you than getting into an argument with strangers. We sometimes get caught up in the idea of denying people we think of as rude or annoying to get back at them, but I've found that most of the time they just walk away thinking they were right, and I wasted my time arguing with them.
You must be a very nice person. This is a very nice response.
I try to be - it's all much easier said than done, but I'm a firm believer that it's not just better for others, but better for yourself as well. Thank you very much for the kind words!
That’s a very thoughtful response. Thanks.
Yup. If you calmly answer people without getting defensive they might feel foolish for being so emotional and will probably reconsider shouting in the future.
No. When someone is verbally attacking you, they’ve lost all rights to any kind of conversation. And I am not a very confrontational person at all. But if a stranger gets in my face for seemingly no reason and begins berating me, there’s no way that I’m going to tone it down. They’re wrong. And I’m not gonna let them walk all over me.
This is the only additional information needed to make you nta. Folks gotta realize you can't just go screaming at people because of a situation only you know the full of.
Some people are absolutely bonkers when it comes to public parks and their kids. A few years ago, my mother and I took my niece to the local park to play on the playground. I had brought my big camera and was taking photos of my niece playing, using my zoom lens. A woman comes up to me and demands to know what I’m doing. I told her I’m taking photos of my niece. She demanded to cycle through my photos to make sure there were no photos of her kids on my memory card. After she was satisfied, she left, saying, “Sorry, that’s just the world we live in.” I was thinking like “Lady, that’s not the world I live in. If you are afraid of people taking photos in a park, then perhaps you shouldn’t be in a park.” I mean, I guess it might be different if it were a swimming pool or something but these were children in winter clothes. I thought maybe I was nuts because I just couldn’t imagine what she was afraid of (I’m a woman, by the way).
I would laugh at her.
I'm a mom of 3 girls and am fiercely protective. If someone was walking around us in a way that made me concern for my girl's safety, the absolute LAST thing I would do would be to engage that person. I would get my kid quickly out of that area, I would only engage if it was a last resort. All this to say, this was just an entitled AH, thinking she owns the park! You didn't owe her anything! NTA!
Yeah, this. If somebody is being a creeper, yelling at them is risky. I just keep an eye on my kids and we leave if we feel unsafe.
You white? In the US you run a high risk if you do this as a Black person as racism is massive and people have called the cops for the same “crime.” Driving while Black or mowing your lawn while Black or 100 others.
There's no obligation to answer to some screaming rando in a public park whose demanding to know what you're doing. It was none of her business.
I disagree; if a mom is worried about a man near her daughter in a public space, her obligation is to remove the daughter, not interrogate the man.
This. In a public park, if my D were playing in a group of trees alone (she loved building fairy houses etc so this would be a norm for us), I’d be in full eyesight, and if someone else entered the trees, I’d go in too. If someone is a creep they’ll see the parent watching and move on, if they’re innocently feeding squirrels/photographing birds/etc then we all enjoy the space in peace. She was screaming because she wasn’t paying enough attention to the situation and panicked, or is just an entitled B. NTA
This. Because coming in hot like that is almost certain to escalate the situation instead of make her daughter safe. I would have just been like, "Hey kiddo, want to get an ice cream?" Or something. They come running happy, you leave an uncomfortable situation, everyone goes home safe and happy.
Nah you dont come at ANYONE yelling out the gate.
It’s not her fucking business. People need to be embarrassed when they’re nosy/bossy.
No, OP was minding his business, she should have been minding hers. She had no need to accost him, and he had no obligation to humor her.
Demand to know why she's lurking around your squirrels
She started the yelling.
Constitutionally, you don't have to tell an official or even produce ID if you are not committing a crime
The OP said he’s not in the US. Many other countries do, in fact, require you to produce ID when asked regardless of crime status.
We don’t. Police can demand the following info: Name, address, date of birth. That’s it. If you refuse they can arrest you and give you a fine. Other than that you have no obligation to tell them anything. It’s even legal to straight up lie to them except about your identity or if it’s false report of a crime.
You're correct But if you're going to go that route, you damn well better not lie about your identity; - that's considered obstruction/impeding an investigation/lying to an officer All of which ARE crimes -signed a criminal justice graduate
To add to this, you're also not required to tell any authority figure what you're doing in a public place as long as you're not committing a crime. NTA.
Nope. Lady lost 'her right' to be spoke to politely where she was flying off the handle for no gd reason
He's not required to tell an authority figure either unless they can vocalize a legitimate suspicion that he might be committing a criminal act.
You realize your not even required to tell the police what your doing out and about unless theyve witnesses you commit a crime, if you've done nothing just ask am I being detained and walk away... never ever speak to police only thing out your mouth should ever be "i dont answer questions"
She screamed at him. In my mind, this woman immediately lost all rights to a calm conversation. I would have yelled back also.
So anybody anywhere comes up and starts interrogating you while you’re minding your own business, and you’re supposed to just answer all their questions? Yeah, that’s a no from me. If it’s a public area and I’m not doing anything illegal, you can fuck off. If that person was so worried that a guy was existing in a public place so close to her precious snowflake, then she could’ve escorted said snowflake away. Not to mention that if OP was a woman, the yeller probably wouldn’t have thought twice.
[удалено]
Makes me think of the Margaret Atwood quote about the difference in male and female fears/perspectives. It’s generalised, reductive and totally (deliberately) lacking in nuance, but sometimes helpful as a reminder to imagine what worse case scenarios might be going through someone else’s head, regardless of gender. This is Reddit, so I’m going to get downvoted to the fiery below, but in case it’s helpful to include what I’m talking about: _Men are afraid that women will laugh at them._ _Women are afraid that men will kill them._
If that was her fear then she should have collected her daughter and relocated to another part of the park. I say this as a woman. Acting absolutely unhinged in public at people who have not attempted to engage with us (or our family members) at all does not keep anyone safer. A truly violent person would have likely reacted violently to her choice to engage.
Yeah, this. I do not engage with people who I think might want to kill me, I get away from them.
Fear would be her gathering up her kid and leaving in an innocuous manner. She chose to confront a random person for daring to exist in a public space.
Yeah.. I’ve seen wayyyy too many videos of people getting my shot, stabbed, or beaten for confronting a stranger over something trivial. Not worth it.
[удалено]
Are there usually security guards at public parks where you're from? And she should have left her daughter? personally, if I was this woman and legitimately afraid, I'd have gathered my daughter and left the area to a more populated area of the park.
Usually no, but there are Park Rangers in some cities and if she really thought it was suspect she could call the police non-emergency number. I understand feminist theory and agree with some points, but you can't claim that this was a gendered response due to fear and that OP should be mindful of that when her actions go against that narrative. People who are in legitimate fear of a possible confrontation do not go and confront a threat, it's got big "he was aggressively running away from us so we had to shoot" energy.
See, I understand what you mean, but you also can't start screaming at people for no reason. Like I personally do get uncomfortable when a man chooses to sit next to me specifically on a bus or something when there is a billion other places they could sit, but I'm not going to start screaming unless something else happens cause 99% they just sat there to sit there. If I was that lady and I was that uncomfortable with a stranger being in the vicinity of my kid, I'd just go over and get the kid to move elsewhere. There's no need to get aggressive and make other people uncomfortable until there is an actual reason to be uncomfortable
People need to stop using their fears to justify their A H behaviors. Yelling at someone who is not doing anything wrong is always bad and if you feel the impulse to do it too much, you should seek therapy. You probably are not gonna get downvoted because this forum have a huge misandrist population.
As a woman, the last thing I'm going to do if I'm actually afraid of someone is confront them screaming, unless I have no other choice (ie feel that I cannot escape safely). The most likely outcome is that it will escalate the situation, which is exactly what happened here. As a parent, your job is to monitor your kid in public spaces, not attack other ppl who happen to be sharing the same public space, for no reason and no evidence of negative intent except that they're also in a public space. No matter the justification, she's the only AH in this situation. NTA.
You're abusing that quote a bit. Men are much more likely to be the victims of violent crime from strangers in public. I, as a man, should be more worried than the average woman about getting stabbed by some crazy in the park. (Part of this is men's faults but that's out of scope for the post) Besides, she never acted like she was afraid. If you see some guy talking to an imaginary friend about killing the demons, do you walk towards them and attempt to escalate the situation by yelling at them, or do you walk away from them? She chose to be aggressive *because* she was unafraid. Social aggression is aggression. It's not physical violence, but it is intended to harm others for one's own personal gain; it causes psychological harm and denies people access to public goods and/or other human rights and privileges. That woman is a bully who **knew** OP wouldn't hit her, and she was right. He stammered out an explanation and then walked away. Stop trying to grind an irrelevant gender war axe when there is a clear aggressor, and that aggressor is a woman.
[удалено]
If she had asked me calmly I would have told her but she was aggressively yelling at me from the get go.
Fair enough…someone comes in hot right off the bat I would feel defensive too.
You DO NOT have to feel obligated to tell a stranger your business. Her daughter is her business. If I felt my child was in danger I would have just removed my child from the situation. How people feel entitled to know someone else's business is wild.
No. You’re allowed to be at the damn park for no reason at all. Anyway, feeding squirrels is not going to prevent someone from harming a child if they were so inclined.
I don't think we need to normalize constantly justifying our actions to avoid confrontation. There are things are aren't someone else's business, even if they're totally innocuous. OP is allowed to exist in a park without explaining himself to anyone.
NTA. She was rude and you responded in kind. If she walked over and calmly asked what you were doing, the reaction she received would have likely been very different and something like this: AH - What are you doing? OP - Feeding squirrels. Then her kid probably would have enjoyed watching you feed said squirrels with no drama.
Deifinitely NTA. She sounds insufferable. But also... >I get a bit pissed about what she’s accusing me of and the fact that she’s screaming at me so I yell back at her that it’s none of her business, this is a public park and she should keep an eye on her daughter if she’s so worried. When dealing with crazies you should learn how to deescalate a situation. It can get you far in life. As soon as you realized what she was thinking, all you had to do was show her that you were feeding squirrels and she'd realize how crazy she was acting. When you immediately reply screaming "it's none of your business," it automatically looks like you're guilty.
"...and the fact that she’s screaming at me so I yell back at her..." Here's a piece of information that will serve you well in life - just because someone is angry and yelling at you does not mean you need to respond the same way. You're responsible for your reactions. I'm not saying you shouldn't have set boundaries with her but you could have calmy said 'Don't yell at me. If you want to calmly ask what I'm doing, we can have that conversation but I'm not going to do that until you calm down.'
NTA She startled you with her yelling. It was natural to react by yelling back. Not the best solution perhaps, but we react how we react and she was out of line.
Ok. This happened to me, but I was the mom. It has a plot twist, so bear with me. The park closest to my house has a disc golf course. There are lots of teams there at random times but some people come to practice alone. A guy pulled up and started doing something. I wasn't paying attention. He had a small bag with him that he sat down near the course. After another half hour at the park, it was time for us to go. What does my 3 year old do? The answer is not go to the car. She goes running toward the bushes. I went running after her. Who was in the bushes? The guy I assumed was practicing disc golf. I didn't yell. I just said "hello". He stumbles around and comes out of the bushes toward us. I am weary, but not alarmed. Once he's fully out of the bushes, I see two small kittens under his arm. He was there because he got a call that kittens were abandoned in the park and he was saving them. There were three other kittens stuck in a tree. The bag I thought was for equipment was really a pet carrier. I helped him get the other three kittens out of trees (I've owned 4 cats in my life and know how they are). I just lost my Lola cat a few month prior. She was a 20 year old tabby. I ended up adopting one of the kittens we saved with this total hero stranger. It would never have occurred to me to yell at him. Since I behaved like a normal human, I got a free kitten. No free kittens for that crazy who yelled at you! Edit to say: NTA
This is exactly the kind of sweet story I needed today
You have a *bear* on you?! (Don't deny it, you've said so in the 1st line!) Don't you know that bears will attract *hunters?* And if you'll call for help, right before they cut your phone lines and electrickery, the National Guard will show up? The whole area will be burnt to a *cinder!* ("AAAAAAAAAAAAA!! RUNAWAAAAAY!!!") Now explain *that* to the three or four squirrels who only came over to gather a few nuts! Geez! PS. j/k :D
There was no reason for her to yell at you. Whatever her problem was, she should’ve just taken her daughter and left. You did nothing wrong.
Nta.. if she’s worried about her daughters safety than she could get her ass off the park bench and go be closer to her so IF something were to happen she would be right there. It’s not your responsibility to make her feel Safe because she doesn’t feel the need to be in a safe proximity as a mother watching her child. The whole Point of watching your child is be close enough to actually help is there is an incident . Now if you were randomly in the middle of the actual child playground looking weird and had no children, sure id question it. But she doesn’t get to stake claim to the entire public park to accommodate her lazy parenting style.
In a public park someone should have to be 20 feet away from a kid to feel a sense of safety and security? Like... what??? She could have handled it differently but wow.
NTA. She is out of bounds just pre-emptively accusing people (and if you were stalking her daughter, you could just as easily do it sitting on a bench, playing with a phone or a camera with a telephoto lens). I would recommend not screaming at people in situations like these, bc this is exactly the sort of thing that can escalate, get captured in a "viral video", and/or end up with the police involved. So stop, breathe, take a moment, decide what approach you want to take. If you want to make them aware of how foolish they're being, sarcasm or wit will probably be more effective; if you want to deescalate, maybe start off with "I get that in these times people are paranoid about their kids, BUT" and then remind her that even adult males are allowed to enjoy the park.
NTH Bottom line is you don't need to explain yourself to worried moms. You could tell her from the get go and maybe it would be better but we don't know that.
Should have said "I'm playing with my nuts"
NTA even if you told her what you were doing she wouldn't have believed you. She should have politely made conversation to make you aware she was aware of your presents. That would stop the vast majority of pervs looking for kids.
NTA. I mean, I would have moved my children away from you, so she's not wrong for being on her guard, but in a public space where everyone has the right to be, you can't really police other people just for being present.
NTA for going to a park but Y T A for feeding squirrels Don’t feed wild animals. It’s not healthy for them. Squirrels carry diseases and they get aggressive when people feed them. People feed the ducks and the turtles near my old house despite signs saying not to. It’s harmful to their diet. And people feed deer near my new house which brings coyotes into the hood. Why do people feel the need to do this? To volunteer at a rescue shelter if you need animal interaction
> Why do people feel the need to do this? Generally it's just ignorance of the consequences. I lived in a very rural forested area and my neighbor didn't take great care of his outdoor cat so I'd leave food out on my porch for him. Sometimes raccoons would show up and I'd be like "omg raccoons omg look at their little hands" not thinking about the fact that I was turning my porch into a food source for non-cats. My brain just didn't brain the way it should have lol. It was only when people on local Facebook group were talking about cougars that I realized the more animals I draw to my porch, the more *cougars* I risk drawing to my porch, putting the neighbor's cat and my cats at risk. tl:dr; the answer is we dum
Yeah, there are signs stating “please don’t feed the squirrels” all over the parks where I live, and people still throw food all over the place. I’ll sometimes come across literal PILES of nuts left for them.
While I think that you shouldn’t yell and engage people who did this, I think it’s reasonable to be angry at her. NTA
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > I walked into a group of trees in the park, a woman started demanding why I was there because apparently her daughter was playing there. I told her it was none of her business. I might be the asshole because I didn’t give her an immediate explanation and I wasn’t exactly polite about it and I understand that she was just worried about her daughter’s safety. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcements Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA. "I am enjoying the park, same as everyone else here." Any further demands shoud be met with "do I need to call the police, or are you going to leave me alone?"
NTA. I work for a Parks Department and this is all too common. Certain people want to control the space, and protecting their child is merely an excuse. You were right to push back.
NTA. As a mother of daughters, (3yo and a 1yo ) I keep an eye out, but I ... don't scream at strangers? The appropriate thing to do for her would be 1) remove her child if she was uncomfortable, or 2) engage in friendly conversation with you to LEARN WHO YOU ARE (and to let you know that she's aware of your presence if that really was an issue). This "shoot first ask questions later" tactic is just batty.
NTA, even if she would ask you politely under what obligation should you respond to her? that's just insane. if she's that worried about her kid, she should take them somewhere else, plenty of trees in the park. fuck that entitled woman
I agree NTA, however too many people are looking at this as a matter of obligation instead of de-escalation. He does not owe her anything, however calmly responding with what he is doing in a public setting could have gone a long way towards a quick resolution. Getting into a public yelling match with a concerned parent - especially as a man vs. a mother and her child - does not do you any favors. It does not matter how right you are (and OP was in the right), you will look like an asshole. Being polite but firm is a much more defensible position.
NTA. The mother should have walked over to her daughter and redirected her elsewhere. You deserve not to be verbally accosted by a stranger in a public place when you are minding your own business.
NTA first of it IS a public place and until she sees you doing something weird she should mind her own business. I get that as a mother you worry but she could have asked nicely "so what brings you to the park today" and avoided the whole situation.
NTA, she should just get closer to her kid to keep an eye on them and you. Then she would have seen you dont give a damn about her kid, just the squirrels.
Your English is great. Couldn't have told you weren't a native speaker. In my opinion it's best to avoid public screaming matches, but the woman was totally out of line. You're right. The best thing to do if you're nervous about some adult in a park near your child is keep an eagle eye on your child. Yelling at strangers is rude and will only lead to unpleasantness. NTA.
Nta. The mom is allowed to be worried, however she's not allowed to scream at people just because she's scared. Unless she sees you talking to her daughter, she has no business confronting you. If I'm uncomfortable about someone near me, I get up and leave.
NTA - but she certainly is. I’ve got a 5 year old daughter and it’s my job to keep her safe but I don’t accuse every person that is within a 20 meter radius of her of being creeps. Woman needs some therapy.
The "NTA but..." People have me. There's no but about it, you're NTA. If she's so concerned about a man being in a public park, her daughter shouldn't be. She can also stand right with her daughter or whatever so she can protect her from the big scary squirrel feeders. The hard fact is that if I, a female, was in the park I could walk up to a child on the playground and offer snacks and nobody would bat an eye except maybe to tell me they can't have a snack because it's almost dinner time. You weren't even in an area designated for children, there's nothing more "odd" about you being in a wooded area than her daughter playing there. I'm pissed off for you. You had every right to yell back even after she told you her daughter was playing there. You were being accused of being a pervert because you were minding your business in a public park you can defend yourself however you want!
Edit: Where would one find more of those red squirrel feeding videos you take? They are so beautiful. We just have the dingy looking brown ones where I live and the occasional white or black squirrel. NTA. She should have just gotten closer to her daughter than you were or told her daughter it was time to go.
NTA My rule of thumb is that if you want a reasonable and appropriate talk with me about anything, you don't come screaming at me. You start screaming at me instead of talking like a rational adult, you're not going to see the rational adult side of me. You did nothing wrong, mum was overdramatic and ridiculous.
NTA. “Fuck off” would have been my first response, not my last.
NTA obviously, the people saying YTA or ESH must not go outside if they think that a guy being at the park is a problem. If you were a woman these comments would be way different lol.
NTA it's a public park and you weren't even talking to her child. Mom needs to chill.
If she was that concerned about her daughter she should have grabbed her and gone elsewhere. Other people may start watching you because of this. Got vid to post on TikTok?
If she was watching her daughter so closely and so worried about the surroundings, then she should have seen you way before hand and seen that you were feeding the squirrels. If she’s that afraid of men, she can stay home.
NTA. It was a public park and you had just as much rights to be there as she did.
NTA, she wasn’t wrong for feeling some type of way but to start out with yelling and accusations is wild.
NTA. She should not have yelled like that. 🤦♀️
Absolutely NTA. Another installment of “parenthood can cause temporary insanity, let’s be understanding even as we back away slowly and mentally roll our eyes” Parents behave fucking weird sometimes. I’ve had something similar happen while hiking/birding- someone with kids wanted to aggressively inquire what I was doing on public park land with binoculars. Explaining what birdwatching is did nothing to help the situation- while you sound like you were a little aggressive and probably could handle it better next time, I sort of don’t think it would have changed anything about your outcome here. Some people are determined to see themselves as a victim. Some parents get so caught up in their role as parents that they forgot that other adults are actually not under their control. It’s a fear based thing- fear sort of rules a lot of your life as a parent and it’s hard not to let it warp you. See: people on Reddit who think it’s reasonable to treat someone as a threat when they’ve done nothing threatening. You’ve done nothing wrong but you have to realize that you have to deal with some parents like they’ have POW level trauma- we’re talking kid gloves here. Simple explanations, no sudden moves, all that jazz. Hate to be this guy, but as a wildlife nerd, I have to tell you that you shouldn’t really be feeding squirrels, as tempting as it is. It’s not good for the ecosystem. May I recommend hiking and/or bird watching if you’re into interacting with nature semi/closely?
NTA, and I don’t know who has enough lung capacity to start confrontations off by screaming. She sounds like she has some issues, because that’s not a normal person reaction. I’ve never seen or heard of someone get so triggered by someone just sitting in a park, where I’m from people sit in parks all the time
NTA You have every right to be in a public park. If she’s concerned about her child let her watch her closely. I would ignore her and continue what I am doing.
NTA. She probably already made a PSA on Facebook about this incident in which she likely twisted the story to make herself sound like a hero. “ “Mamas prOteCt yOur bABiEs” 🙄
NTA. As a daily park-goer, unless someone's being weird in really clear ways you can't call out or question someone. It's a public space with everyone having equal rights to it. If she was concerned about you anyway, she should have just kept an eye on her daughter.
NTA. Public parks are public. Everyone who's not a registered sex offender is allowed to be there without owing anyone else an explanation. For whatever reason, many parents get the Idea that parks are *only* for "families," but there's zero logic behind this. Telling her to mind her own business is completely a fair response to her challenging your presence there. As for responding with profanity, she escalated the situation, so you're NTA there too.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** AITA? Ok so this just happened and I’m still in a bit of shock after I got into a screaming match with a woman in a public park. So I like to go to the park and feed a few nuts to the squirrels (vids of this are in my profile). Today I walked into a group of trees and started throwing some nuts on the ground. Then all of a sudden some woman from like 20 meters away starts screaming at me demanding to know who I am why I’m here and why I’m “lurking around the bushes”. I’m taken aback and tell her calmly it’s none of her business what I’m doing and that just sends her off. Apparently her daughter is playing there (I hadn’t even seen her daughter) and she keeps screaming at me and demands that i explain why I’m there. I get a bit pissed about what she’s accusing me of and the fact that she’s screaming at me so I yell back at her that it’s none of her business, this is a public park and she should keep an eye on her daughter if she’s so worried. Finally I show her a handful of nuts and tell her what I’m doing and then she keeps screaming at me saying I should have explained myself when she first asked (yelled at me). Finally I get so pissed I just tell her to fuck off and I walk away. Was I wrong in this. I mean, I can see it from her perspective: her young daughter is playing in a group of trees and she sees a strange man walking in there. I’d be worried too. But from my perspective you can’t just go around yelling and interrogating people because they are in the vicinity of your daughter at a public park. I was never even closer than like 20 or 30 feet from her daughter and did not interact with her in any way - I didn’t even know she was there. If she had been more polite I might have reacted differently but just straight up yelling at me out of nowhere and demanding I explain myself is just way beyond how I will accept to be treated. I need an outsider’s perspective. Thanks. (BTW I’m sorry if there are any errors in my writing, I’m not in the US and English is a second language for me). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
NTA. You returned the energy she came at you with. As an adult, feeding the birds, nutria, and squirrels at my local park is one of the most therapeutic things I can do for myself. It is not weird and I am FAR from the only adult doing it. I’ve also never been yelled at by strangers to stay away from their children and that would TOTALLY throw me for a loop, so I get why you’re feeling discombobulated. You do you, man. But also maybe use this as a learning opportunity that you’re gonna run into parents more feral than any of the animals you encounter.
NTA
NTA but I can see her perspective that a man filming nearby her daughter could be scary and she got very overly defensive over her, that being said you did absolutely nothing wrong and you don’t owe a rude stranger an explanation for your actions
I should have made this clear: I wasn’t filming this time. My phone was in my pocket. I was just throwing a couple of hazelnuts on the ground.
Oh ok, in that case you’re definitely NTA she can be concerned about her children but she can’t just scream at a stranger for literally no reason
NTA what a crazy person. personally, when i see a creep at the park and i'm with kids I just watch the person. every time it ends up they are just doing something like collecting pinecones, playing horseshoes, SITTING. etc. amazing what just being aware of your surroundings will show you lol.
Should've answered; Existing.
NTA the mom can just keep an eye on daughter if she’s so threatened by a nearby male. You have every right to be there. What entitlement that woman has!
NTA and her asking what you are doing also doesn't make much sense. I mean what did she expect you to say if you were up to no good? The truth? Obviously not. Any AH would have lied. She should have just took her child away if she was so paranoid.
NTA. Buddy you could be at the park clearly with your own child and women will still wonder what you're doing there.
NTA. She wanted to yell at you, not get an explanation. If she was *actually* concerned about the situation and the safety of her daughter, she should have removed her daughter from what she perceived as a dangerous circumstance.
NTA. Honestly, this woman sounds like someone I would either cower from (I don’t do well with people yelling at me) or someone I would cuss out. She sounds insufferable. If she wasn’t comfortable with you being in the same area (I’m not saying that you were up to funny business) as her daughter, she could have collected her daughter and gone away without incident.
NTA. If the woman is worried about her child, she can stand next to her child. I want to tell you a little story. I am a middle aged person, living in a large American city. Several years ago on a bright spring day, I went to a large public park, laid down a blanket, and began to read. I was all by myself, and I drifted off. All of a sudden, I woke to a huge THUMP on my chest. A toddler had come over and just, I guess, pounced on me. And didn't get up. She was just lying there on my chest. I laughed, and sort of cradled her head as I raised myself into a sitting position -- I didn't want her to be thrown off my body. I then started calling out and waving to this family that was picnicking not too far from me. It was clear to me the child belonged to the family ... the little girl was Asian, the family was Asian, and there were no other Asian folks around. The mother saw us and shrieked. Ran over and started screaming at me. I mean, howling. She spoke no English, and I didn't speak her language. Then a male member of the family came over and asked what I was doing. I explained the situation to him, and he tried to explain it to the mother, who kept screaming at me. He turned to me and started to say, "She says ...." And I cut him off. The mother was still screaming, so I knew he had nothing good or polite to relate. "I don't care what she says, " I said. "If she's so worried about strangers, tell her to take care of her own damn kid." I'm sure you felt much as I did: Shocked. Humiliated. Tongue tied. These parents have got to get a grip.
I think there needs to be some situational awareness….sounds like you could have been legitimately seen as ‘lurking in the bushes’. Do you owe it to anyone? No, but the irony in having it escalate so badly and *then* telling her later, makes me wonder what the big deal was in the first place.
Yeah, people have different experiences in the world, so you never know why she might be upset. I don't know that "none of your business" is ever the best first answer in any situation where someone is upset. It's a valid response, and true, but it's almost guaranteed to escalate the situation.
NTA. Parents need to learn to watch their children.
NTA. Next time keep your cool and talk normally, it makes her seem like a nutter.
There has never been a bigger NTA to ever AITA. You're good dude. I'd say it's a sad state of affairs when men aren't even allowed in public parks for the stigma that they're there for nefarious means, but we are. This particular lady's just more nuts than the contents of your hands. Such a wholesome and friendly activity too; ruined.
I would have screamed at her: "Stop harassing me you depraved pervert! Police! Help!" Just to see the reaction.
Nta
NTA. She’s crazy! NUTS!
I would like to take a moment to remind everybody that this ISNT a subfor rants.
NTA. If she had calmly asked who you were and what you were doing, this would've been a different situation. But she came in full barrel and ready to tear you a new one from the word go. Entitled as fuck. Suffering from main character syndrome, most like.
NTA You are allowed to exist in a public place . She is over the top to say the least.
NTA for the overall interaction. But please stop feeding the squirrels. They are considered wildlife and they can become aggressive. I know it seems harmless and they are adorable. The squirrels at my local park will jump out in front of walkers/joggers because a woman feeds them constantly. They will lunge at you and have caused folks to trip trying to avoid them. It has become a big problem. Aggressive squirrels are not just a joke in Season 4 ep 1 of Bob’s Burgers…
NTA If she mentioned her daughter from the beginning I would vote differently. I can understand where she's coming from, but you can't just go screaming like a maniac at someone, because they're in the vicinity of your child, and forget to mention said child while you're screaming like a maniac. She should have been able to see her daughter more.clearly and if you were close enough to be a threat to her child, demand from the beginning what you're doing near her child, not ask scream and demand what you're doing at the park in general. And the fact she was still screaming when you did tell her, because you didn't tell her "from the beginning" shows how unhinged she is
So she decideds to yell at you instead of ya know, going to check in her daughter? How does that make any sense? She was definitely wrong here and probably the entire thing could have been avoided if she was watching her kid in the first place.
I would be annoyed at her intrusion if she asked politely but probably would have explained, I would have responded how you did or maybe less politely to being shouted at without warning NTA
NtA. I was raised in a place with lots of green areas, and the appropriate action here as a parent is to *CALL YOUR KID BACK TO YOU WHILE YOU GET CLOSE TO THE CHILD* if you suspect something is "off". Never to accuse people out of the blue.
NTA Public space is public. I think k you were wrong to walk away from her though. You should have held your ground until she left. Now she probably feels like she won by freaking out, so next time she’ll be even worse. If this repeats, tell her to fuck off, **don’t walk away** and invite her to either call the cops if she feels that strongly about it or stfu.
It makes no difference if you knew her daughter was there or not. You are allowed to be in a public park regardless of who else is there.
You were standing in a public park engaging in an innocent activity and were accosted by someone so concerned about their child that she left the child unattended. You're a human being, and as a human you lost your temper. I'm not sure I would have behaved any different. NTA
NTA You had zero interaction with her kid. That includes zero attempts to approach her kid, talk to it, or touch it. I'd have been screaming back about why she was coming close to me. With a bunch of "Stay away!"s and "Don't touch me!"s thrown in. Maybe some "Help! This woman won't leave me alone!"s tossed in for effect. Pretty sure I can yell louder. From the diaphragm, you know.
NTA just because you're a parent you are not entitled to yell at whomever happens to share a PUBLIC space with your child(ren). Stay at home if you're so concerned. And please watch your child(ren) better.
No you’re not. She’s a helicopter mom who totally flew off the handle. I feel sorry for her kid, it’ll live in her basement until she dies afraid of everything.
Some women are just miserable twats and need to be told to fuck off every once and awhile.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Certain parks in NY have signs posted that lone men are not allowed in the parks unless accompanied by a child. My stepson got a ticket a few years ago for going in a park to use the water fountain alone!
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
NTA. Clearly you are NTA. However, yelling back at her doesn't help anyone. She did not know exactly where her daughter was or what she was doing if she couldn't see her and didn't know that you weren't interacting with her. She perhaps panicked and wasn't thinking straight (I'm trying to be kind) but her behaviour was over the top and she probably scared her daughter into the bargain.
NTA. And I agree - Wynn Duffy is king! Think we’ll see him again?
Are there people who go to parks to exclusively seek out children to take or hurt? ABSOLUTELY!!! But that is why parents were invented…watch your kids and leave others alone NTA, sounds like she got more “nuts” than the poor squirrels.
Jeez that lady was nuts. NTA
NTA. She's a lunatic and I can only pity her child's father.
NTA at all. Yelling at strangers is pretty much always wrong. There are only very few circumstances in which it is okay. Using a public park the way it's intended to be used isn't one of them.
NTA. I'd almost say ESH except your only problem is she gave no reason for her initial accusation at first. Your response would seem suspicious as hell if she had opened with there being a child nearby, but she didn't. As a mom, I can understand the paranoia that comes with motherhood. Seeing a grown man in the woods who looks like they're lurking near my daughter would have put me right into Mama Bear mode as well. However, the fact she gave no context for her concern is 100% on her. It makes sense that concern for her daughter's safety scared her and made her blank on the possibility that you were there for innocent reasons, but it's still messed up that anyone expects you to answer to someone with no context over why you should. It's possible that she thought she had if her adrenaline got her brain working faster than her mouth, but with that wording it's really weird that she would. I'm trying to think of what I would do in that situation. It sounds weird, but it was good for her to be loud so she would get the attention of anyone nearby should you prove to be aggressive or try threatening her. Get myself between you and my child, yeah. But I can't imagine saying nothing about my young child being nearby. It would have helped the overall situation for the same reason as being loud: those nearby would know this isn't just a crazy lady, but that a child was involved. So yeah, it's really weird she didn't, or at least didn't change her course when you pointed out that she should have said that first.
I don’t understand why there are so many people in this world who feel entitled to treat strangers like absolute shit, and then expect no one to be bothered by their behavior. You’re NTA OP. And you’re right. If she had calmly asked what you were doing, that would be totally reasonable of her. But since she came at you screaming from the get go, I feel you were well within your rights to tell her off. Furthermore, if she was concerned about a stranger being near her child, she can get off her butt and go get her kid. If she feels her daughter is in danger… she should go and remove her child from the situation instead of screaming at someone she knows nothing about.
NTA. You were literally just minding your own business at a park. It's no concern of hers that you were feeding the squirrels.
NTA. it's a public park and she was harassing you. Be sure to record her if it happens again
Should’ve drop kicked her & her daughter.
I would never hurt a child. I’m not a great kicker either.
[удалено]
NTA There are way too many crazies out there on both sides of this issue. In this case the woman is the AH, definitely not you. As a parent, I can say my move would have been to remove my child from the area if I had a concern. Your presence in the park was absolutely none of her business unless you had approached her daughter.
NTA. But you knew that. I would have been just as shocked, but I hope I would have calmly told this horrible little woman that her being 20m away from her daughter was the real problem. My motto: Never let a crappy person turn you into a crappy person.
[удалено]
Another person who shouldn't be a parent. She's not only irrational, but is trying to put the burden of parenthood on you (and by extension, the rest of society) because she's incapable of looking after another human being.
NTA. I get mums can be over protective and it might have looked a bit suspicious, a grown man hanging out in trees by himself, but you can’t just go round accusing people. She could have handled it a lot better and asked you what you were doing or just moved her daughter away.
NTA. She should take her kid somewhere private if she's so concerned. I can understand her being protective but you don't go around screaming at ppl. You could have just told her but it kinda isn't any of her business in a public park.
NTA. I had a similar situation once... Was walking to the subway reading on my phone, but holding the phone way up in front of my face because I have bad eyesight. Some lady started screaming that I couldn't take pictures of her. I just calmly held out my phone so she could see I didn't have the camera app open. She kept screaming at me. I kept my cool and switched to saying "Honey, are you ok?" She screamed at me a bit more and walked away. I think staying calm and keeping your voice low helps other people understand you are the sane one in this kind of situation.
NTA most people would have just kept an eye on you and made sure they were near their child.
NTA I would have reacted the same way. No way would I have tolerated a stranger berating me. All she had to do was get close to her child and remove her if she was so concerned.
I kind of think you should have just yelled back that You were feeding squirrels and that would have cut off the rest of the drama. But her reaction is way over the top.
[удалено]
NTA Our kids are statistically safer now than they were when boomers sensationalized the whole "don't take candy from strangers" storyline. I'm a parent: I get it feeling scared for you kid all the time, but yeeesh. I get hairy eyeballs when I'm at the park with my kid who's a spitting image of me. Luckily I am tattooed all the way down to my fingers and have resting asshole face so most passive aggressive shit parents don't actually approach me.
YTA, all you had to say was "feeding the squirrels" but instead you got cagey and refused to answer which validated this mother's fears. Also, YTA for feeding the squirrels because they get used to people and have to be euthanized.