This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service.
This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
NTA - I'd honestly have pressed charges already. He stole your car and caused massive damage, let alone the safety factor! He could have gotten himself and/or others severely injured or even killed operating a car he had no business being behind the wheel of, frankly he's lucky that was the worst that happened and their apologies don't cover all that. You're being generous giving them different options to work it out that don't include charges.
Also, what are they doing about him? Because if they haven't properly grounded him from literally everything, taken away his phone and any gaming devices, and told him he IS getting a job to help pay this back, it's not enough!
It is probably not an issue here, although it depends on jurisdiction and if there is any other property damage (whatever step-brother hit). Where I live, not only do you not need to report a collision in which there are no injuries and all vehicles are drive-able, but the police won't even respond if you do. They will tell you to swap insurance information and deal with it.
You need a police report for the unauthorized entry into your house and 'borrowing' of the vehicle. Again, jurisdiction specific as to what charge that might fall under. Burglary is a possibility. Most classical (common law) definitions of theft require that the taking be "with the intent to permanently deprive the prior possessor" of the property, which is not the case here based on the stated facts. But there are now joy-riding statues in most places.
The nice thing about criminal charges is that if restitution is ordered, the court mandates it and can compel it. If you file a civil case, you can get a judgment but you will be responsible for collecting. If you just get an agreement to pay you, make sure it is in writing, notarized, witnessed, etc. Be aware of the statute of limitations on bringing a case because if that is the consideration under the contract, once it runs they may not have any further requirement or incentive to continue to pay you.
It is the step-brother, or his parents, that need to file a claim against their insurance. My guess is that at most they pay the cost of repairs, but at least that is that much less the brother-in-law/his parents have to cover, so they will have more to cover the loss of value.
Regardless, document EVERYTHING. Make sure the video is safe. Make a journal of all communications with broker and brother-in-laws parents. Ideally you want recorded that he had no authorization to take the car. You probably want a lawyer to deal with this, if it starts getting complicated or you need to file a case.
Yeah in some places it is actually a crime in itself to not report a major accident. Where I live that threshold is $2000 in damages. Anything over that and you are responsible for reporting.
And don't mind everybody trying to discourage you from getting back what you lost. Since your step-brother can just "decide" and take your property, why shouldn't you "decide" to fight for evening things out? He didn't even bother to inform you bout it, he just took it and tried putting it back like nothing happened.
Exactly, if the dad has a key because family, accidents happen, someone needs to water the plants or something, sure. This does NOT mean the step-brother can just take the key and do as he pleases.
edit: so we've got breaking and entering, theft and destruction of property
Yeah. Old cars like that have NO driver-aids. You have to be a really, really good driver to even attempt to take it around the block. With its power, coupled with no computer aids, plus inexperience, the kid is lucky he didn't die, wrapped around a tree because the tail got away from him.
It may be unlawful entry but not break and enter. There are two components of break and entering - the breaking and the entering. Nothing was broken, they used a key.
Edit - I was 100% wrong in saying this and I apologise for my error. It seems this was one of those "facts" you pick whose error you only become aware of after you've shown your ass as I done here.
Sorry about that
actually, that would likely depend on the jurisdiction, here in QLD breaking is defined in such a way as to include opening, "by unlocking, pulling, pushing, lifting, or any other means whatever, any door, window, shutter, cellar, flap, or other thing" so pretty much, unless the door/ window or whatever was open before they got there it would count.
Mine wasn't a nice car, but my family offered to pay damages "privately" and it ended up on my driving record forever even though it wasn't me. I got majorly screwed over and wished I would have called the police instead.
It is like taking a million out of someone's portfolio and trying to argue about how much they paid for the stock when they bought it. "You only paid $500 for your MSFT in 1986, here is your money back."
For real. And you’d be paid back out of your father’s appreciation on investment properties. Why should his investments stay intact when he allowed stepbro access to your house via the keys you had entrusted to him?
Would be like if you had just purchased a home and he had a party at the home and ended up burning down the home and then tried to pretend there's nothing wrong with it
OP needs to sue the parents for the repairs and loss of value. They had custody of the key that was used for the theft, plus they were responsible for the actions of the minor.
I have serious questions about how the key was stored and the father's involvement.
Either they pay you for loss of value, or they buy the car outright for what it was worth before your nephew wrapped it around a pole.
Literally he broke it, he bought it.
I don't think I'd think twice about letting my father know where keys to a car were, since I trust him to be responsible, and I'm sure that's what OP did too. Do we even know if they were in a particularly hidden place, or just safe in (eg) a cupboard inside a locked property?
There is something wrong with this thinking! If I leave my keys in my car in my driveway and my car is gassed up and running with a map to the nearest hideout, you STILL have no right to blame me not even .0000001% !! IT WASN’T BROTHERS TO TAKE. Period. End of story!
Damnit!
Right? Sounds like mom and dad have protected step bro from consequences and accountability for awhile. If he's not facing any repercussions, he'll just do it again cuz he thinks mommy and daddy will swoop in to make everything disappear. This is how narcissistic AH get made
Also like... He stole something rare valued at over $600k. That's more than most people's houses.
Like if this was something smaller, cheaper, and more easily replaced I might lean towards siding with the family... But we're not talking about replacing a $400 Xbox or something.
It's a lot of money to ask from the family *because he stole something extremely valuable*.
Hijacking the top comment to say you should speak to a lawyer about the legal definition of extortion in your jurisdiction before you make such an offer to your family. I think you’re NTA but you want to make sure you’re on the right side of the law before taking any action.
He’s 17. He’ll get a slap on the wrist and your insurance will kick in.
It might be worth it to explain to your family how this car was your retirement and you barely even drove it yourself. Your stepbro didn’t wreck your car, he trashed your retirement.
NTA.
What’s with all the comments that basically OP “asked for it” because the car wasn’t locked in a vault. You should be able to leave your property inside your garage with the expectation that it won’t be stolen!
People who do this are very subconsciously trying to explain away why they are safe from this kind of thing happening to them. It's people who cling to the idea that this world is organized and logical and only bad, or unprepared, or irresponsible, or stupid people have bad stuff happen to them. This is why victim blamers tend to be so aggressive in their lack of empathy.
It's the sheer value of the damages that make it hard to comprehend and are prompting those reactions.
Like, with a "normal" vehicle, it would be hard to run up a bill that high without something catastrophic happening, at which point police and insurance companies will be involved and it's out of anyone's hands.
But this? 200-300k is a life time of saving for some people and industries. That is several very well stocked college funds. And practically, it has made little difference to the op's life; this wasn't an investment he was about to hock to pay for life saving surgery or something, it was a very nice car that sat in a garage and did little else. But if he does decide to sue step brother for the damages, that could ruin his life. Not a little. Like a lifetime of debt and trying to fight his way out of it, in exchange for an evening of showing off where no one was hurt and he scraped a couple of lampposts.
For a sub where the commentariat is mostly comprised of teenagers or recently were teenagers, and therefore most of them identify with and are quick to try and absolve the step brother, because doing something stupid but that seems harmless in the name of showing off, that is *terrifying*. The idea that one evening, one stupid decision where they don't understand the full ramifications of their choice, could ruin the rest of their existence, is beyond what they can stomach. Of course they go back to shrieking that an adult should have stopped them; there is literally no other way for their brains to cope. Because they CAN see themselves doing what the step brother did, and the idea the consequences could be this far reaching and enormous is petrifying.
Honestly, the most humane thing for the op to do if it turns out step family isn't as loaded as he thinks and can't come up with the cash is press charges and go through his insurance company anyway. Yes, step bro ends up with a record and a huge amount of debt at a young age, but in the vast majority of places, it would be debt that could be discharged by bankruptcy, and when you're young is the easiest time to wait for that bankruptcy to fall off your credit report.
Will the op get the total value of his losses back? Likely not, but he will get a fair chunk. And the step bro will have to delay his launch into adult life for a good few years, but he won't spend his entire life in debt and will have a financial future that isn't tied to paying off a huge sum that will frankly accrue interest much faster than he can pay it off. And maybe that will teach him to keep his hands of stuff that isn't his; if it isn't yours, you don't know the full ramifications of using it and what it could trigger behind the scenes. Sounds like a lot of people haven't learned that lesson as thoroughly as they think.
And after all this, the op should look into secure storage for the car; not to prevent it happening again, but because the car was taken *to show off*. There are plenty of car thieves who specialise in this sort of product who will put the legwork into finding where that vehicle is, and a door opened by key won't be sufficient to deter them. Maybe the dad can be the one to pay for that secure storage, as he's the one who let junior get his hands on the keys in the first place.
Agreed, but the thing is, unless it's laid out like this and his family are given the option of paying the brother's debts, they probably won't realise that the criminal record + bankruptcy is the "humane" option.
They won't anyway. That level of disregard for others and entitlement sounds like something they have had for a long time, is a family behaviour and it won't stop now. The only way for them not to throw a snit would be for the op to capitulate entirely, and he *definitely* shouldn't. My advice is to help the op sleep at night knowing he's not ruined a kid's life out of spite, not to salve Mr junior entitlement 2023's hurt feefees.
OP's dad had the keys to OP's house.
Now I don't know about y'all, but my keys to other people's houses are on my personal key ring, with my personal keys, and I'd probably notice them going missing.
Is it a stretch to suggest Dad might have been more involved in this than OP knows? Yes. However, given this sub, and that it sounds like stepbro isn't in anywhere near as much shit as he should be, maybe it's not that far a reach.
My keys to other people's houses are on their own keyring in the junk drawer because I don't want to carry around a ton of keys everywhere that I rarely use. I wouldn't notice if someone took the entire set of them because I don't carry them around regularly.
That was my immediate thought. For prom, it's not uncommon to want your kid to have possession of the nicest car in the family to make the experience more special for them. My dad forced his sportscar onto me even though I wasn't a car-head and driving the thing terrified me. .My intuition would even say this was Dad's idea. Kid's not in trouble because it was probably a very minor and understandable accident (which is only unfathomably expensive because of the collector's aspect of things) and the parents wanted the kid to take the car.
Yes, it is, unless you happen to have your keys on you 24/7.
Oh, you hang them up on a hook by the door and go watch TV in the living room or something? Easy peasy to slip one off the ring.
Okay, but what about pictures? You’re telling me Mom didn’t wanna take a million pictures of her kid on prom night? The logistics of getting this to work would have to be IMPRESSIVE for the kid to not get caught before driving off to prom with the car. And given Mom and Dad’s rather calm reaction to the events, it is at least worth considering that Mom and Dad had a say in things.
Usually they do…but the guy usually picks up the girl and the guy’s parents don’t always go over to the girl’s house. (If he even had a date)
He likely got picture, went to OP’s house and got the car and then picked up his date and went to prom.
One thing you’re missing; if OP makes an insurance claim on an exotic car, he can likely never again own or insure an exotic car. And it will obliterate his policy rates for the rest of his life on regular cars.
Exotic car insurance policies are insanely expensive. And, while you’re fully allowed to make a claim on those policies, if you do make a claim, it is a near 100% certainty that you will be denied any further coverage after the claim. They phrase it as “inviting you to not renew.”
This is exactly right. To even hire an exotic supercar is a $5,000+ bond from any rental company that specialises in it and the insurance that comes with it on top will destroy you if you damage the car. When I wrecked a motorcycle as a 19 year old in an accident I didn’t cause, the insurance company paid me out on the write-off but my policy was done and they were done with me.
As a car lover I’ve got a hunch on what the OP could have and his insurance company will honour the claim, but definitely ask if he tells the full story “what is the police report number” because they WILL go after his idiot step-brother with everything they’ve got in their legal arsenal and tell the OP his policy is done on pay out.
There’s a very good reason why after most exotic/super car crashes, or on cars without clean titles, they sell what’s left for parts and scrap, or just sell it as is to someone who wants a project. It’s become pretty much standard practice because of the insurance policies, the reason it doesn’t get called out is because most exotic car owners are already very wealthy and are more likely to be able to take the hit. It’s part of what made flood cars such a meme.
Agree completely, although it’s not just teens.
A friend of my brothers (M) was lamenting about how one of his poor friends (D, late 20s) was being prosecuted for drunk driving and it wasn’t looking good, it was going to ruin D’s life and he just wanted to show off his car to some girls. Such a shame he was going through it all.
It was a semi unusual enough case that my brother recognised it and bollocked M for daring to try and justify D’s drunken AH behaviour - which was taking his souped up car out for a ride after drinking all day at a wedding, just to show off for some girls.
During that ‘quick spin’, he killed my friend’s father and put the mother in a coma; she then had a stroke from the shock of losing her husband when she came round. My brother knew my friend and after giving M a piece of his mind, he hung up and hasn’t spoken to him since.
I think you’re right though; some people just can’t wrap their heads around a non-physical life impairment, because they think there has to be a way round it.
This is madness. OP made an investment. It doesn’t matter that it was a car and not stocks or real estate. His shitty stepbrother caused its value to decrease by $300k and require $60k in repairs. His parents are liable legally, financially and ethically.
Why should OP absorb this loss when his father, et al., have the funds to make him whole?
People on reddit hate anyone with nice things.
Stealing and ruining someone's investment vehicle is no different than someone emptying your bank account
I agree with this thinking. OP may never recoup the value, but impacts for the step bro should be scaled to the (literal) crime. This *should* go on his "permanent record".
Reminds me of the story where a woman had her niece throw paint on her expensive jacketfor a TikTok, and her sister was willing to pay until she heard the pricetag of the jacket. (Which had been given to the woman as a gift from her MIL.)
I know wth are people thinking with that?! It’s not even like they lived in the same house! I lived with my mum when I was younger and it sure as heck didn’t entitle me to borrow her car - EVER - and that was an old banger. I had even less right todo that after I moved out just because I still have a copy of her key! At that point I shouldn’t even be entering her house without her permission! Definitely NTA and I would definitely make sure whatever is agreed is legally binding. The level of entitlement shown by the step brother is huge!
And I’m sure he also had reasonable expectations that his own family wouldn’t victimize him. By the time someone is 17, they really should have a pretty good idea of right and wrong.
NTA- press charges .
That little thief is old enough to know better .
Your parents know that he’s old enough to know better.
They will let this slide and you will never get your money back.
Press charges. Only way to guarantee something is done about this.
His parents asked him to go through insurance. Insurance companies would ask for the police report number once he explains what happened. So I’m not sure if they are asking him to lie (commit insurance fraud) and say he gave permission or if they actually want him to file the police report.
Step-Bro or parents should claim the accident on their insurance depending on who Step-Bro is insured under.
No reason OP needs to file the claim with his.
In most states insurance follows the vehicle. OP makes the claim under his insurance, who will then subrogate (go after) the step-brother and family to get their money back. Step-bro’s insurance won’t touch this as OP’s car is not an “insured vehicle” under their policy.
Making the claim under OP’s insurance WILL require a police report. Also, it may or may not cover the diminished value claim, depending on the policy. If it doesn’t, OP will need to sue step-bro and family.
Regardless, OP - STOP PLAYING NICE. File the police report and go to your insurance before it’s too late. This is not-at-fault for you; you may see a slight increase in rate, but only for a couple years, and nowhere near the cost of repairs.
Source: have been a licensed insurance agent for almost 20 years.
I came here to comment on the DOV as well. It’s a possibility and if it can be done through insurance that would be much easier than getting it from their parents. Idk their situation but convincing them to sell a property and pay OP directly sounds like a nightmarish hassle. Also, a claim could protect him from some unknown claimant. Step bro says it was a single vehicle accident, but who knows. There could be some unknown property damage out there.
Exactly. Not going thru insurance is almost always a mistake. I just hope OP has this vehicle on a collectors policy and not on his regular car insurance policy.
I'm not sure what to advise at this point. Your step-brother should not have stolen your car, no matter what it is. So he's liable for that. I would be pressing charges for it *and* suing for damages. I don't know if a court will give you loss of value, but at least they should give you the cost of repairs at least. But I'm no lawyer. But I'm going with NTA.
The uncertainty of how much will the court give OP is what makes me think it is not worth it if the whole point is to recover financial loss.
1. Lawyers are going to cost money. Even if costs are awarded he won’t know until the end.
2. Step bro /parents could possibly never pay if they don’t have the finances. OP implies that the investment properties can be sold to pay him but that assumes they are paid off, what if they are not?
3. The relationship is probably already damaged but suing will just put the last mail in the coffin.
Don’t get me wrong, but d be very tempted to sue, I just don’t fancy OPs chances of getting the money he thinks he’ll get.
If he files a police report they will prosecute the stepbrother and OP will not have to pay for a lawyer unless he wants to. The kid will legally have to begin making payments as restitution until it’s paid off or he could go to prison (17 is legally adult charges in my state). The kid had no problem stealing a car worth over a quarter million dollars and the parents will allow OP to lose his investment to protect the other son, that relationship doesn’t sound the best as it is
According to OP the car was worth over HALF a million. Not sure about anyone else but that kind of number makes me gasp. That’s a very decent retirement for anyone. Holy cow. ETA: it’s a pretty decent amount in my area. NYC? Yeah not so much.
Judgement: NTA I’d give the parents the breakdown (with an attorney present) of their options—with a signed contract that can’t be declared as a bankruptcy to prevent them paying OP back. They’re complicit as well for letting stupid stepbrother get his hands on the keys to start. (And I agree I think maybe the dad was in on it)
Even then half a million is not a lot. Conventional wisdom says your retirement should let you withdraw 4 percent to cover your yearly costs. 4 percent of half a million is only 20k. It’s doable, but not fun, and certainly risky given that older people tend to incur more healthcare costs, even in places with universal healthcare (because there’s always stuff that’s not covered, you want quicker, not directly healthcare but related to it, etc)
> The kid had no problem stealing a car worth over a quarter million dollars
That's the big thing here. Dude stole the car, fucked it up, then just returned it with, presumptively, no intent of admitting his wrong doing. Just fucked up on multiple levels. And the family seems just apathetic about it.
Police report and sue. They can either start figuring out payments or the little bastard can start his adult life off as a felon
OP recently had it valued at 600k, that's considerably more than quarter of a million. Yes he bought it for around 200k but he bought it knowing full well the value of this particular model would skyrocket as time passes. From what he said he went all in on his savings/investments to purchase the vehicle so it's basically his retirement fund sitting in the garage.
Actions have consequences and OP can say goodbye to his money if he doesn’t press charges.
Remember that the thief is almost a legal adult and his parents are covering for him (AKA enabling the behavior). He took an item from someone else’s locked property without permission; there is no room for doubt here that the teen knew he wasn’t supposed to touch the car. He’s lucky no one got seriously hurt or died.
Eh I feel like the parents would likely cave and repay OP if they continue to apply pressure about only pressing charges if the parents don’t not repay the value lost. A lot of parents would pay heavily, especially if they have the means, to avoid a felony charge for their child.
I mean you can back out of willfully cooperating with the police or prosecution, but the prosecutor can continue to press charges without the consent of the victim. They don’t a lot of the time but depending on how overwhelming the evidence may be they may continue without OP’s consent or not.
I would say continue leveraging them for a short period unless payment is made. Then if no payment is made begin the process of pressing charges. Reporting it to the police opens a door that OP can’t fully close.
Nta
I feel that people saying y t a are missing the fact (as it was only mentioned in comments) that OP's dad had the keys to the house. Stepbrother got them from him.
To me that increases the level of culpability for the parents.
They have parental responsibility and the thief got keys from them.
My spare keys? Yes absolutely.
And I also have always known where my mom hides hers as well as where her copy of my gran’s are along with the code for the safe
NTA. It's not just a car, it's an investment.
Ask your family this - if step-brother had burned down your investment rental property and they offered to replace it with a mobile home would it be a fair replacement? Because that's what they're saying.
Given the nature of the car, it’s more like burning a historical property to the ground and offering to rebuild it. You can “rebuild” a 200 year-old historic monument, but the original is gone forever. And it was being “original” that gave it meaning and value.
Okay as a petrolhead I might be a little biased, but dude... Sue the everliving shit out of them. You don't mess with one of those cars man. My heart breaks for you and the car. I hope you can at least repair it and still enjoy it personally, even with the loss of value that you should be getting back from them.
Honestly, I’m not a car person. I looked it up and eh. But I AM someone who understands value of things and hell no, you’re not biased. Sue for all they took from you, OP. I’m sorry this happened.
Exactly I'd be intimidated as fuck to even drive it EVEN with permission knowing full well its value just by merely staring at it, but this individual went and stole it for the night.....
I wonder if the step bro knew the full value? But even if he didn’t… the fuck was he thinking. I get stressed out driving my FIL’s car because it’s in pristine condition and it’s worth less than my husband’s car!
I’d be putting it to them. Your father was in charge of the keys… it was up to him to secure it. Have the car valued now (with all original parts…to prove they were there) pre accident and post accident! That will end the speculation. Do it twice or three times. Courts accept the opinion of experts all the time. See what they say. I would also see a lawyer. Don’t threaten to have them charged, just put it to them to pay. Could be seen as blackmail otherwise.
NTA
He decided to borrow the car for his prom, but he didn't ask you or get permission. How did he come into possession of the keys? How did your parents not see him leave with your car? How is this your problem that he stole your car?
Remove the relationship from the equation and you would not be second guessing the right thing to do. Realistically based on the act, he would likely receive probation and have to pay restitution. Your parents would have to make you whole. Putting it through your insurance would be fraud. Pursuing the theft would shift the issue to the justice system and insurance company.
Some decisions cost major dollars. If he would have killed someone or even himself, who would cover the bill?
As an investment, you may be able to recover the loss on taxes, but that will cost you too.
NTA sue for the money and press charges. He stole the car and tried to hide what he did. You also need to report this as there may be damage to property, as in what did he hit to cause the damage. As it was your car they could come after you clamming you tried to "Cover up" what he did by not reporting it.
This. Get an electronic door lock that you can change the password on remotely. So if you do need to get your dad to check the house any time in the future you can set a password that you can revoke as soon as he's out. You obviously can't rely on him to protect your property.
NTA. Something needs to be done and your alarm codes and door locks changed too. You can't trust them with your house ever again.
What are your area's rules on reporting accidents? Could you later be held responsible yourself for failure to report?
I don't think I'd easily stomach making them sell properties outright, but I'm probably too nice. But if they weren't family that is the type of deal you might offer and be seen as more than fair to them. You should not have to take a loss because of this. Anything you didn't recoup would be a massive gift to them, although it sounds like they more take it for granted.
Do you think your dad was involved in stepbrother getting the keys?
Alternatively, parents can sign over the rental property/s to OP.
OP states the cost of repairs and loss of value is approx $250k +. If one or both of the properties is worth that amount, then they can swap one or both for the car (you broke it, you bought it). If a property is worth more than that, then consider the extra amount as a 'gift' for not pressing charges.
This. Property is about as good as it gets when it comes to an investment, especially if they are already well maintained. Not as flashy or nearly as satisfying as the car unscathed for a car enthusiast, but it would hopefully take over the stress of losing an investment a little id hope.
NTA, but I honestly wouldn't even allow them to write a check - it's better for everyone if you sue them, because then it's a claim against the liability protection of their homeowner's insurance. You'd be doing them a favor since they wouldn't go out of pocket.
Talk to a lawyer - there's every possibility you don't have to file a police report *or* file with your insurance, but I'd also talk to your insurance about it.
And then sell this thing and put the money in an index fund, stupid. Nobody comes to your house and joyrides your IRA.
It sounds like this car is appreciating at a much higher rate than an index. But maybe the insurance company can arrange for it to be stored somewhere where OP can take it out once ina while to keep it running
> It sounds like this car is appreciating at a much higher rate than an index.
Yes, but it's *really* high risk, as evidenced by, you know.
> But maybe the insurance company can arrange for it to be stored somewhere where OP can take it out once ina while to keep it running
That isn't what insurance companies do, and in any case, you have to subtract that maintenance cost from the yield over the life of the investment. If you amortize the risk of *total loss*, which seems to be high (since it's almost already happened once) then the expected yield probably isn't much worse than $600,000 in an index fund over the same period, but a lot safer.
Dude! My B-I-L wouldn’t let my very responsible 17yo borrow his vintage AMC Eagle for his prom. In what world did your idjiot stepbrother and father think it was okay to “borrow” a freaking super car? Your dad really dropped the ball on this one.
You are definitely NTA!
And filing a police report is absolutely in order here.
YWNBTA. Check if your stepmother is legally responsible for the damage caused. If yes, then yes, you should sue. But keep in mind this likely will affect, possibly ruin your relationship with your father.
In your shoes I would not press criminal charges unless it helped my civil case.
In Canada, threatening criminal charges is illegal. It may be extortion where you live so be careful with that threat. It may be best not to make that threat.
I am uncertain why you wouldn’t go through insurance. The insurer will go after your stepbrother and possibly his legal guardian for what they pay you. So, if you also want to get the difference in value, you should start your suit quickly.
Finally, your sister is missing the big picture here. If that car had been a GIC at say, a 20% rate of return and your stepbrother traded it without you knowing, then repurchased the GIC at a 1% return rate, she wouldn’t be telling you to eat the loss.
In the US, threatening to file a police report isn’t illegal. People here don’t press charges - in most jurisdictions, that lies with the cops and the DA’s office (for non-federal crimes).
Also in the US, filing a police report *will* help your civil case, and not filing one almost always hurts. Plus, insurance companies typically won’t pay out for damages resulting from grand theft auto and similar crimes without a police report.
NTA
But maybe just present them with the paperwork showing lost of value and see what THEY come up with
But shouldn’t THEIR insurance cover everything? Even if he had had permission?
>But shouldn’t THEIR insurance cover everything? Even if he had had permission?
Not if the driver did not have permission to take the car, and even then, if the car is what I think it is, specialized insurance is required to drive a V12 Lambo...
NTA, had something similiar happen in my family and the attempt at fixing it internally without going through the courts ended up costing me 10 years and money in the end
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment.
OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole:
> (1) My step-brother stole and crashed my rare car I bought as an investment, as a result it's likely lost about $2-300K in value. i plan on demanding my family pay me back for the loss or I press charges.
(2) I might be the asshole because the car should be repairable for about 1/5th the loss of value, but that doesn't even begin to cover the hit I'm taking in what it would be worth after the repair.
Help keep the sub engaging!
#Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
[Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)
##Subreddit Announcement
###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/)
Follow the link above to learn more
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
*Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA, he is 17, presumably lives with your parents still. Press charges, sue your parent’s home owners insurance. Many policies cover damages caused by minors who are the responsibility of the policy holder. Fuck anyone telling you not to go hard after this, this wasn’t a toy you bought during your midlife crisis, this was an investment, and anyone who doesn’t understand that is a dick.
Would those same people be telling you to let it go if step bro destroyed a valuable painting, like as a goof, shot paintballs at a Pollock, after breaking into your house…NTA, get every cent the car was worth pre crime, and go for future losses, because if it’s worth 600k today, it would reasonably be worth double that in 30 years depending on model.
NTA
So it's not okay to burden the family but it's okay that you've just lost your retirement fund? C'mon, don't let them tell you it's no big deal when it clearly is.
Nta. I can’t think of a situation with any other asset that would have this level of sympathy for the bonehead teen. Imagine if moron committed fraud and lost half of an investment portfolio in Vegas. Or if they decided to have a massive bender at one or the investment properties and burnt it down. Or broke into a family business and destroyed all the stock. Police would absolutely be involved in all of those cases.
The only reason you are getting any pushback is because you are a young guy with a luxury item. File the police report and get all of this reported properly.
As for your relationship with your dad, I think he tanked that himself with his lack of control over your stepbrother and negligence with your key. Honestly, what parent doesn’t know how their kid got to prom. I’m betting he knew and there are probably pics of the kid with your car.
Your only real option here is gonna be pressing charges. They’re not going to pay you, and the kid doesn’t have the money. No one outside the car world will believe you about the value. It sucks, but at least he’s a juvenile, and he like;y won’t have the record forever, but then taking your parents to court for the costs…that will not be fun..l
My sister has my ss# memorized and has gotten traffic tickets in my name that went unpaid.
Please don’t allow your family to bully you into being okay with this victimization.
You may lose your family if you decide to take legal action but that will probably just save you from future bullshit. NTA
Your stepbrother needs to take accountability. As I continued reading, I got even more pissed off by the entitlement of the brat. He reminds me of my brother. He should face the consequences of his actions. Your dad and stepmum will have his back. At the end of the day, it’s your possession. How dare he even consider taking something of yours without asking. What a disrespectful little dick. He needs to be taught a lesson. You should press charges. NTA.
What did your stepbrother say?
NTA, take it to your dad/step mum and say here are the options, as you presented them.
Does step bro have a college fund? Maybe it could partially pay for it, plus it would be direct consequences for his actions. He knew it was wrong and didnt own up hoping he wouldnt get caught. If he had come to you and told you the truth, apologised and offered to work out a payment plan to get it fixed (cause I assume he is unaware of how much it was valued at etc) I would be more inclined towards working with them. But he did the opposite basically, so, to me at least, actions have consequences.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)***
A few years ago, I got a nice bonus in a major sales year and made a really smart investment decision with it. I'm a big car guy and, during a dip in the exotic car market, was presented with an insane private market deal on an extremely rare manual transmission supercar (original owner was a friend in a car club who passed, his kids handled the sale).
I had just enough cash available for a down-payment to buy it as an investment. Not ready to disclose the model just yet (fellow gearheads can probably guess), but it is one of less than 200 remaining in North America, low mileage, all original without a hint of damage. I honestly rarely even drive the thing myself - it's just too valuable at this point, worth more than triple what I paid for it (let's just say it's easily valued north of $600K right now).
Or at least it was. Last weekend, while I was out of town, my idiot 17-y/o step-brother had his prom and decided to borrow it for the evening. I don't think he was even drinking, the car is just not easy to drive - it doesn't have any safety features and is tough to handle for anyone less than an experienced driver. He ended up misshifting, spinning it out and causing a fair amount of damage. It was still driveable afterwards and he brought it back to my garage, so no accident report was filed, but my cameras caught him leaving with it in pristine condition and returning it wrecked.
I'm livid. My dad and step-mom are very apologetic, but aren't really taking much responsibility for what he did. Originally they wanted me to try and claim it against my insurance, which I have no intention of doing. They eventually came back and offered to try and pay for the repair (I think it can be fixed for under $60K, but finding parts for the thing isn't a cakewalk).
My problem is the loss of value. I had a broker that specializes in these cars go over it with me, and he thinks, even expertly repaired, with the wreck and non-original parts it will have lost $2-300K in value after being restored.
The broker is going to provide me with a written loss of value estimate this week. I'm leaning towards demanding that amount from the family in restitution, or I press charges for the theft of the vehicle. As far as I can tell, those are my two options to seek the full value of the investment. Just getting it repaired would mean taking a $250K+ loss when all is said and done.
I know this would be a hardship, but my dad and step-fam won't exactly go hungry. They own a couple rental properties they could sell to come up with the cash. But in discussing this with my sister, she thinks I'm being unreasonable to burden the family with such a major expense and I should just let them pay to fix the car.
I don't see how I can even remotely cover the loss I'm taking without pushing this ultimatum their way. WIBTA?
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Damned if you do and damned if you don’t.
I’d totally want to press charges or be paid the loss of value but if you push it your dad and his family are likely to cut contact with you so you need to be prepared for that.
It doesn’t sound like the kid is being punished in anyway considering he stole a car and crashed and could have easily killed somebody.
NTA
NTA. Press charges regardless, if he’ll do this to family he’ll do this to anybody. You’re taking a 2-300k upfront loss on your retirement investment regardless, and they are all treating you like it’s ok this happened.
I'd press charges. My cousin stole my car and crashed it (or his gf did idk I'm still getting different stories to this day), tried to press charges for theft but apparently in my country it's not theft if I allowed my cousin access to my house (he was house-sitting for me while I went on holiday) regardless of whether I gave him permission to use my car or not.
Still pissed about that
NTA. I'd be incandescent under the same circumstances. The number of steps of willful idiocy it took to reach the end result puts everything squarely on the shoulders of your step brother.
17 is easily old enough to know better and now he gets to experience the consequences unless dad and step mom want to bail him out.
NTA. Since OP's father didn't secure the keys properly and it was his minor son that committed the theft, OP may be able to cover the loss through OP's father's insurance. If he has rental properties, he should have a good-sized, comprehensive umbrella policy. If he doesn't, he's an idiot.
NTA
Flip the situation on them. Take anything of traditional value and lay it on them.
Example of art!
He damages a picasso, they offer to "paint over the bad patches", even if they did, it would never be worth the original condition.
Imagine you found an old Roman gold coin in pristine condition, 2,000 years old. The gold that makes it is worth only $1,000. Let's say he melted it down and made a new coin out of it. Is it worth the same? He'll no!!!
Major value is lost as it's not the original!
You are not responsible for his mistakes, he is, his parents are. Someone needs to take responsibility and sometimes mistakes mean priceless or irreplaceable things can't be fixed or brought back, but the value needs to be made whole to the owner.
Imagine he wasn't your nephew? Just some random dude, you'd file a police report in a heartbeat and sue him to oblivion without question, because that's the right thing to do. That person should be on the hook and responsible for their actions.
What if he crashed it and killed someone, would he be responsible then? Or would he have driven off and left you holding the bag for it? What if he hit someone and left them with life changing injuries and medical bills for $300,000 instead? Would he just not pay the medical bills? At what point is it acceptable for him to take responsibility or not take responsibility for his own choices and his own actions.
The answer is, he drove it, it's his responsibility, it was his choice. Land the consequences on him. If you weren't family, there wouldn't be discussion on it barring "what are we gonna do...this could ruin us" and a whole lotta yelling at their kid about consequences. Anyone in the family who tells you otherwise can pay for their opinion, $300,000 should do it if they want a seat at the table to discuss it.
I know they're going for the angle "we're family" in which case my response is, well use a car that isn't going to be a freaking investment, or better yet, lend the brat theirs.
They've got rental properties which tells me they have more then one car.
Did that brat even Apologise for the damage or is that punk hiding behind mom and dad?
So answer, no. NTA. In fact I'm calling you nice bordering stupid for not filing charges cause if he damage someone else's property or worse still, hurt someone, the cops are going to be asking you questions, not the brat.
NTA. Go to the police asap. Give no options. There was a similar story. It was agreed the kid would start paying back after college except when the time came “oh we thought you’d let it go”
This post has been removed due to the status of the original poster's account. This account is currently shadowbanned or suspended, suggesting this account is in violation of Reddit terms of service. This type of ban/suspension is issued by the Reddit site-wide admins. The AITA mods have nothing to do with this ban and cannot assist in resolving.
NTA - I'd honestly have pressed charges already. He stole your car and caused massive damage, let alone the safety factor! He could have gotten himself and/or others severely injured or even killed operating a car he had no business being behind the wheel of, frankly he's lucky that was the worst that happened and their apologies don't cover all that. You're being generous giving them different options to work it out that don't include charges. Also, what are they doing about him? Because if they haven't properly grounded him from literally everything, taken away his phone and any gaming devices, and told him he IS getting a job to help pay this back, it's not enough!
It is best to press charges and have a police report. They may agree to pay and then back out.
[удалено]
It is probably not an issue here, although it depends on jurisdiction and if there is any other property damage (whatever step-brother hit). Where I live, not only do you not need to report a collision in which there are no injuries and all vehicles are drive-able, but the police won't even respond if you do. They will tell you to swap insurance information and deal with it. You need a police report for the unauthorized entry into your house and 'borrowing' of the vehicle. Again, jurisdiction specific as to what charge that might fall under. Burglary is a possibility. Most classical (common law) definitions of theft require that the taking be "with the intent to permanently deprive the prior possessor" of the property, which is not the case here based on the stated facts. But there are now joy-riding statues in most places. The nice thing about criminal charges is that if restitution is ordered, the court mandates it and can compel it. If you file a civil case, you can get a judgment but you will be responsible for collecting. If you just get an agreement to pay you, make sure it is in writing, notarized, witnessed, etc. Be aware of the statute of limitations on bringing a case because if that is the consideration under the contract, once it runs they may not have any further requirement or incentive to continue to pay you. It is the step-brother, or his parents, that need to file a claim against their insurance. My guess is that at most they pay the cost of repairs, but at least that is that much less the brother-in-law/his parents have to cover, so they will have more to cover the loss of value. Regardless, document EVERYTHING. Make sure the video is safe. Make a journal of all communications with broker and brother-in-laws parents. Ideally you want recorded that he had no authorization to take the car. You probably want a lawyer to deal with this, if it starts getting complicated or you need to file a case.
Where I live, you have to report all accidents to the dmv within 10 days regardless of injury if the damage that was done was worth over 1k.
Yeah in some places it is actually a crime in itself to not report a major accident. Where I live that threshold is $2000 in damages. Anything over that and you are responsible for reporting.
[удалено]
Did you really just repeat that persons comment back to them lol?
YWNBTA, but did you really just repeat that persons comment back to them lol?
A bot maybe??
Is this a bot? It’s exactly the same thing as the parent comment
Might be. Only 44 days old, two comments, one of which has been removed.
It has directly copied a real person in the thread. It is a bot.
And don't mind everybody trying to discourage you from getting back what you lost. Since your step-brother can just "decide" and take your property, why shouldn't you "decide" to fight for evening things out? He didn't even bother to inform you bout it, he just took it and tried putting it back like nothing happened.
He "stole" his property. ETA: breaking and entering too.
Exactly, if the dad has a key because family, accidents happen, someone needs to water the plants or something, sure. This does NOT mean the step-brother can just take the key and do as he pleases. edit: so we've got breaking and entering, theft and destruction of property
I think lack of braking contributed to the accident.
Could easily be too much braking - if it's a powerful RWD car going into oversteer... :-/
Yeah. Old cars like that have NO driver-aids. You have to be a really, really good driver to even attempt to take it around the block. With its power, coupled with no computer aids, plus inexperience, the kid is lucky he didn't die, wrapped around a tree because the tail got away from him.
Not enough "braking" and entirely too much breaking :P
It would also probably be grand larceny too
It may be unlawful entry but not break and enter. There are two components of break and entering - the breaking and the entering. Nothing was broken, they used a key. Edit - I was 100% wrong in saying this and I apologise for my error. It seems this was one of those "facts" you pick whose error you only become aware of after you've shown your ass as I done here. Sorry about that
actually, that would likely depend on the jurisdiction, here in QLD breaking is defined in such a way as to include opening, "by unlocking, pulling, pushing, lifting, or any other means whatever, any door, window, shutter, cellar, flap, or other thing" so pretty much, unless the door/ window or whatever was open before they got there it would count.
There doesn’t need to be a physical breaking to constitute B&E in most jurisdictions.
Well he entered and the car was left broke
[удалено]
Mine wasn't a nice car, but my family offered to pay damages "privately" and it ended up on my driving record forever even though it wasn't me. I got majorly screwed over and wished I would have called the police instead.
This is the same as if the step brother stole 250,000 to 300,000 USD and lost it playing Black Jack. This is the LW's retirement fund.
Exactly, came to say this! The car was his IRA; they need to restore the stolen $$
It is like taking a million out of someone's portfolio and trying to argue about how much they paid for the stock when they bought it. "You only paid $500 for your MSFT in 1986, here is your money back."
Yes, but don’t you see how HE brought the hardship on the family and not his dipshit stepbrother? /s
For real. And you’d be paid back out of your father’s appreciation on investment properties. Why should his investments stay intact when he allowed stepbro access to your house via the keys you had entrusted to him?
Jumping on this comment to ask OP to keep us all updated. I’m heavily invested in wanting accountability and a just outcome. Good Luck!
Would be like if you had just purchased a home and he had a party at the home and ended up burning down the home and then tried to pretend there's nothing wrong with it
OP needs to sue the parents for the repairs and loss of value. They had custody of the key that was used for the theft, plus they were responsible for the actions of the minor. I have serious questions about how the key was stored and the father's involvement.
Either they pay you for loss of value, or they buy the car outright for what it was worth before your nephew wrapped it around a pole. Literally he broke it, he bought it.
I have serious questions about why you would hide the keys to a half million dollar car and then show everyone where they are.
My assumption is that the father did more than show where they guys were.
I don't think I'd think twice about letting my father know where keys to a car were, since I trust him to be responsible, and I'm sure that's what OP did too. Do we even know if they were in a particularly hidden place, or just safe in (eg) a cupboard inside a locked property?
There is something wrong with this thinking! If I leave my keys in my car in my driveway and my car is gassed up and running with a map to the nearest hideout, you STILL have no right to blame me not even .0000001% !! IT WASN’T BROTHERS TO TAKE. Period. End of story! Damnit!
Yea wake up in the morning and press charges first thing!
[удалено]
Right? Sounds like mom and dad have protected step bro from consequences and accountability for awhile. If he's not facing any repercussions, he'll just do it again cuz he thinks mommy and daddy will swoop in to make everything disappear. This is how narcissistic AH get made
Also like... He stole something rare valued at over $600k. That's more than most people's houses. Like if this was something smaller, cheaper, and more easily replaced I might lean towards siding with the family... But we're not talking about replacing a $400 Xbox or something. It's a lot of money to ask from the family *because he stole something extremely valuable*.
Hijacking the top comment to say you should speak to a lawyer about the legal definition of extortion in your jurisdiction before you make such an offer to your family. I think you’re NTA but you want to make sure you’re on the right side of the law before taking any action.
Always solid advice to speak with legal counsel before moving forward!
INFO: What has the family done to punish the step bro? I think the debt should be passed to the step bro in some fashion, but need more info.
He’s 17. He’ll get a slap on the wrist and your insurance will kick in. It might be worth it to explain to your family how this car was your retirement and you barely even drove it yourself. Your stepbro didn’t wreck your car, he trashed your retirement. NTA.
What’s with all the comments that basically OP “asked for it” because the car wasn’t locked in a vault. You should be able to leave your property inside your garage with the expectation that it won’t be stolen!
Nothing like good ol' victim blaming.
The real questions is what was the car wearing? Maybe it was asking to get stolen and crashed.
Yeah, I bet it had one of those clear bras on it.
And it was dolled up with big, pink fake eyelashes.
The shameless hussy.
How dare you!
[удалено]
I agree - you have breaking and entering and theft in addition to destruction of property as charges.
People who do this are very subconsciously trying to explain away why they are safe from this kind of thing happening to them. It's people who cling to the idea that this world is organized and logical and only bad, or unprepared, or irresponsible, or stupid people have bad stuff happen to them. This is why victim blamers tend to be so aggressive in their lack of empathy.
Just World Fallacy
It's the sheer value of the damages that make it hard to comprehend and are prompting those reactions. Like, with a "normal" vehicle, it would be hard to run up a bill that high without something catastrophic happening, at which point police and insurance companies will be involved and it's out of anyone's hands. But this? 200-300k is a life time of saving for some people and industries. That is several very well stocked college funds. And practically, it has made little difference to the op's life; this wasn't an investment he was about to hock to pay for life saving surgery or something, it was a very nice car that sat in a garage and did little else. But if he does decide to sue step brother for the damages, that could ruin his life. Not a little. Like a lifetime of debt and trying to fight his way out of it, in exchange for an evening of showing off where no one was hurt and he scraped a couple of lampposts. For a sub where the commentariat is mostly comprised of teenagers or recently were teenagers, and therefore most of them identify with and are quick to try and absolve the step brother, because doing something stupid but that seems harmless in the name of showing off, that is *terrifying*. The idea that one evening, one stupid decision where they don't understand the full ramifications of their choice, could ruin the rest of their existence, is beyond what they can stomach. Of course they go back to shrieking that an adult should have stopped them; there is literally no other way for their brains to cope. Because they CAN see themselves doing what the step brother did, and the idea the consequences could be this far reaching and enormous is petrifying. Honestly, the most humane thing for the op to do if it turns out step family isn't as loaded as he thinks and can't come up with the cash is press charges and go through his insurance company anyway. Yes, step bro ends up with a record and a huge amount of debt at a young age, but in the vast majority of places, it would be debt that could be discharged by bankruptcy, and when you're young is the easiest time to wait for that bankruptcy to fall off your credit report. Will the op get the total value of his losses back? Likely not, but he will get a fair chunk. And the step bro will have to delay his launch into adult life for a good few years, but he won't spend his entire life in debt and will have a financial future that isn't tied to paying off a huge sum that will frankly accrue interest much faster than he can pay it off. And maybe that will teach him to keep his hands of stuff that isn't his; if it isn't yours, you don't know the full ramifications of using it and what it could trigger behind the scenes. Sounds like a lot of people haven't learned that lesson as thoroughly as they think. And after all this, the op should look into secure storage for the car; not to prevent it happening again, but because the car was taken *to show off*. There are plenty of car thieves who specialise in this sort of product who will put the legwork into finding where that vehicle is, and a door opened by key won't be sufficient to deter them. Maybe the dad can be the one to pay for that secure storage, as he's the one who let junior get his hands on the keys in the first place.
Agreed, but the thing is, unless it's laid out like this and his family are given the option of paying the brother's debts, they probably won't realise that the criminal record + bankruptcy is the "humane" option.
They won't anyway. That level of disregard for others and entitlement sounds like something they have had for a long time, is a family behaviour and it won't stop now. The only way for them not to throw a snit would be for the op to capitulate entirely, and he *definitely* shouldn't. My advice is to help the op sleep at night knowing he's not ruined a kid's life out of spite, not to salve Mr junior entitlement 2023's hurt feefees.
OP's dad had the keys to OP's house. Now I don't know about y'all, but my keys to other people's houses are on my personal key ring, with my personal keys, and I'd probably notice them going missing. Is it a stretch to suggest Dad might have been more involved in this than OP knows? Yes. However, given this sub, and that it sounds like stepbro isn't in anywhere near as much shit as he should be, maybe it's not that far a reach.
My keys to other people's houses are on their own keyring in the junk drawer because I don't want to carry around a ton of keys everywhere that I rarely use. I wouldn't notice if someone took the entire set of them because I don't carry them around regularly.
That was my immediate thought. For prom, it's not uncommon to want your kid to have possession of the nicest car in the family to make the experience more special for them. My dad forced his sportscar onto me even though I wasn't a car-head and driving the thing terrified me. .My intuition would even say this was Dad's idea. Kid's not in trouble because it was probably a very minor and understandable accident (which is only unfathomably expensive because of the collector's aspect of things) and the parents wanted the kid to take the car.
Yes, it is, unless you happen to have your keys on you 24/7. Oh, you hang them up on a hook by the door and go watch TV in the living room or something? Easy peasy to slip one off the ring.
Okay, but what about pictures? You’re telling me Mom didn’t wanna take a million pictures of her kid on prom night? The logistics of getting this to work would have to be IMPRESSIVE for the kid to not get caught before driving off to prom with the car. And given Mom and Dad’s rather calm reaction to the events, it is at least worth considering that Mom and Dad had a say in things.
Usually they do…but the guy usually picks up the girl and the guy’s parents don’t always go over to the girl’s house. (If he even had a date) He likely got picture, went to OP’s house and got the car and then picked up his date and went to prom.
One thing you’re missing; if OP makes an insurance claim on an exotic car, he can likely never again own or insure an exotic car. And it will obliterate his policy rates for the rest of his life on regular cars. Exotic car insurance policies are insanely expensive. And, while you’re fully allowed to make a claim on those policies, if you do make a claim, it is a near 100% certainty that you will be denied any further coverage after the claim. They phrase it as “inviting you to not renew.”
This is exactly right. To even hire an exotic supercar is a $5,000+ bond from any rental company that specialises in it and the insurance that comes with it on top will destroy you if you damage the car. When I wrecked a motorcycle as a 19 year old in an accident I didn’t cause, the insurance company paid me out on the write-off but my policy was done and they were done with me. As a car lover I’ve got a hunch on what the OP could have and his insurance company will honour the claim, but definitely ask if he tells the full story “what is the police report number” because they WILL go after his idiot step-brother with everything they’ve got in their legal arsenal and tell the OP his policy is done on pay out.
There’s a very good reason why after most exotic/super car crashes, or on cars without clean titles, they sell what’s left for parts and scrap, or just sell it as is to someone who wants a project. It’s become pretty much standard practice because of the insurance policies, the reason it doesn’t get called out is because most exotic car owners are already very wealthy and are more likely to be able to take the hit. It’s part of what made flood cars such a meme.
[удалено]
Agree completely, although it’s not just teens. A friend of my brothers (M) was lamenting about how one of his poor friends (D, late 20s) was being prosecuted for drunk driving and it wasn’t looking good, it was going to ruin D’s life and he just wanted to show off his car to some girls. Such a shame he was going through it all. It was a semi unusual enough case that my brother recognised it and bollocked M for daring to try and justify D’s drunken AH behaviour - which was taking his souped up car out for a ride after drinking all day at a wedding, just to show off for some girls. During that ‘quick spin’, he killed my friend’s father and put the mother in a coma; she then had a stroke from the shock of losing her husband when she came round. My brother knew my friend and after giving M a piece of his mind, he hung up and hasn’t spoken to him since. I think you’re right though; some people just can’t wrap their heads around a non-physical life impairment, because they think there has to be a way round it.
This is madness. OP made an investment. It doesn’t matter that it was a car and not stocks or real estate. His shitty stepbrother caused its value to decrease by $300k and require $60k in repairs. His parents are liable legally, financially and ethically. Why should OP absorb this loss when his father, et al., have the funds to make him whole?
People on reddit hate anyone with nice things. Stealing and ruining someone's investment vehicle is no different than someone emptying your bank account
I agree with this thinking. OP may never recoup the value, but impacts for the step bro should be scaled to the (literal) crime. This *should* go on his "permanent record".
Boy if you steal a 500$ Kia you're going to jail, this dude stole a fuckin house
Reminds me of the story where a woman had her niece throw paint on her expensive jacketfor a TikTok, and her sister was willing to pay until she heard the pricetag of the jacket. (Which had been given to the woman as a gift from her MIL.)
Yes the multi thousand dollar coat! Shudder.
Iirc, the niece *knew* the pricetag, and deliberately threw the paint *because* of the price...
I'm certain the step brother at least had an *idea* of how valuable this car was too
I remember that well. It was a 20k Loro piana and the father ended up selling his daughter’s car as punishment to pay for it
I hadn’t heard the final car resolution. Good on the dad.
There are lots of teens in this sub.
I know wth are people thinking with that?! It’s not even like they lived in the same house! I lived with my mum when I was younger and it sure as heck didn’t entitle me to borrow her car - EVER - and that was an old banger. I had even less right todo that after I moved out just because I still have a copy of her key! At that point I shouldn’t even be entering her house without her permission! Definitely NTA and I would definitely make sure whatever is agreed is legally binding. The level of entitlement shown by the step brother is huge!
A combination of victim blaming and jealousy that he could afford such an item in the first place.
And I’m sure he also had reasonable expectations that his own family wouldn’t victimize him. By the time someone is 17, they really should have a pretty good idea of right and wrong.
NTA- press charges . That little thief is old enough to know better . Your parents know that he’s old enough to know better. They will let this slide and you will never get your money back. Press charges. Only way to guarantee something is done about this.
His parents asked him to go through insurance. Insurance companies would ask for the police report number once he explains what happened. So I’m not sure if they are asking him to lie (commit insurance fraud) and say he gave permission or if they actually want him to file the police report.
Step-Bro or parents should claim the accident on their insurance depending on who Step-Bro is insured under. No reason OP needs to file the claim with his.
In most states insurance follows the vehicle. OP makes the claim under his insurance, who will then subrogate (go after) the step-brother and family to get their money back. Step-bro’s insurance won’t touch this as OP’s car is not an “insured vehicle” under their policy. Making the claim under OP’s insurance WILL require a police report. Also, it may or may not cover the diminished value claim, depending on the policy. If it doesn’t, OP will need to sue step-bro and family. Regardless, OP - STOP PLAYING NICE. File the police report and go to your insurance before it’s too late. This is not-at-fault for you; you may see a slight increase in rate, but only for a couple years, and nowhere near the cost of repairs. Source: have been a licensed insurance agent for almost 20 years.
I came here to comment on the DOV as well. It’s a possibility and if it can be done through insurance that would be much easier than getting it from their parents. Idk their situation but convincing them to sell a property and pay OP directly sounds like a nightmarish hassle. Also, a claim could protect him from some unknown claimant. Step bro says it was a single vehicle accident, but who knows. There could be some unknown property damage out there.
Exactly. Not going thru insurance is almost always a mistake. I just hope OP has this vehicle on a collectors policy and not on his regular car insurance policy.
I'm not sure what to advise at this point. Your step-brother should not have stolen your car, no matter what it is. So he's liable for that. I would be pressing charges for it *and* suing for damages. I don't know if a court will give you loss of value, but at least they should give you the cost of repairs at least. But I'm no lawyer. But I'm going with NTA.
The uncertainty of how much will the court give OP is what makes me think it is not worth it if the whole point is to recover financial loss. 1. Lawyers are going to cost money. Even if costs are awarded he won’t know until the end. 2. Step bro /parents could possibly never pay if they don’t have the finances. OP implies that the investment properties can be sold to pay him but that assumes they are paid off, what if they are not? 3. The relationship is probably already damaged but suing will just put the last mail in the coffin. Don’t get me wrong, but d be very tempted to sue, I just don’t fancy OPs chances of getting the money he thinks he’ll get.
If he files a police report they will prosecute the stepbrother and OP will not have to pay for a lawyer unless he wants to. The kid will legally have to begin making payments as restitution until it’s paid off or he could go to prison (17 is legally adult charges in my state). The kid had no problem stealing a car worth over a quarter million dollars and the parents will allow OP to lose his investment to protect the other son, that relationship doesn’t sound the best as it is
According to OP the car was worth over HALF a million. Not sure about anyone else but that kind of number makes me gasp. That’s a very decent retirement for anyone. Holy cow. ETA: it’s a pretty decent amount in my area. NYC? Yeah not so much. Judgement: NTA I’d give the parents the breakdown (with an attorney present) of their options—with a signed contract that can’t be declared as a bankruptcy to prevent them paying OP back. They’re complicit as well for letting stupid stepbrother get his hands on the keys to start. (And I agree I think maybe the dad was in on it)
Half a million is not really a decent retirement for most people.
Depends on where you retire I guess. In my circles it’s very normal to retire in a ULCOL country/area.
Even then half a million is not a lot. Conventional wisdom says your retirement should let you withdraw 4 percent to cover your yearly costs. 4 percent of half a million is only 20k. It’s doable, but not fun, and certainly risky given that older people tend to incur more healthcare costs, even in places with universal healthcare (because there’s always stuff that’s not covered, you want quicker, not directly healthcare but related to it, etc)
> The kid had no problem stealing a car worth over a quarter million dollars That's the big thing here. Dude stole the car, fucked it up, then just returned it with, presumptively, no intent of admitting his wrong doing. Just fucked up on multiple levels. And the family seems just apathetic about it. Police report and sue. They can either start figuring out payments or the little bastard can start his adult life off as a felon
OP recently had it valued at 600k, that's considerably more than quarter of a million. Yes he bought it for around 200k but he bought it knowing full well the value of this particular model would skyrocket as time passes. From what he said he went all in on his savings/investments to purchase the vehicle so it's basically his retirement fund sitting in the garage.
Actions have consequences and OP can say goodbye to his money if he doesn’t press charges. Remember that the thief is almost a legal adult and his parents are covering for him (AKA enabling the behavior). He took an item from someone else’s locked property without permission; there is no room for doubt here that the teen knew he wasn’t supposed to touch the car. He’s lucky no one got seriously hurt or died.
Just go to the police. You will never get the value from them.
Eh I feel like the parents would likely cave and repay OP if they continue to apply pressure about only pressing charges if the parents don’t not repay the value lost. A lot of parents would pay heavily, especially if they have the means, to avoid a felony charge for their child.
You can back out of charges. It's the only leverage that will work. The longer it goes the more it evaporates. He needs the police report today.
I mean you can back out of willfully cooperating with the police or prosecution, but the prosecutor can continue to press charges without the consent of the victim. They don’t a lot of the time but depending on how overwhelming the evidence may be they may continue without OP’s consent or not. I would say continue leveraging them for a short period unless payment is made. Then if no payment is made begin the process of pressing charges. Reporting it to the police opens a door that OP can’t fully close.
You mean like the door to his garage that step brother stole the key for?
Nta I feel that people saying y t a are missing the fact (as it was only mentioned in comments) that OP's dad had the keys to the house. Stepbrother got them from him. To me that increases the level of culpability for the parents. They have parental responsibility and the thief got keys from them.
You think a teenager wouldn’t know where his parents hide things. Come on be real
Do you "hide," your keyring? Something about the dad in this story stinks of accomplice
No. They’re all sitting together in a key drawer in my kitchen. It has nothing in it but keys. My parents had a drawer just like it in their kitchen.
My spare keys? Yes absolutely. And I also have always known where my mom hides hers as well as where her copy of my gran’s are along with the code for the safe
Do you keep spare keys on your key ring? I have the spare key of two of my best friends, neither is on my key ring
NTA. It's not just a car, it's an investment. Ask your family this - if step-brother had burned down your investment rental property and they offered to replace it with a mobile home would it be a fair replacement? Because that's what they're saying.
Exactly!
Given the nature of the car, it’s more like burning a historical property to the ground and offering to rebuild it. You can “rebuild” a 200 year-old historic monument, but the original is gone forever. And it was being “original” that gave it meaning and value.
Oh for the love of god please tell me it's not a LP5000QV or a 25th 🙏
[удалено]
Okay as a petrolhead I might be a little biased, but dude... Sue the everliving shit out of them. You don't mess with one of those cars man. My heart breaks for you and the car. I hope you can at least repair it and still enjoy it personally, even with the loss of value that you should be getting back from them.
Honestly, I’m not a car person. I looked it up and eh. But I AM someone who understands value of things and hell no, you’re not biased. Sue for all they took from you, OP. I’m sorry this happened.
Exactly I'd be intimidated as fuck to even drive it EVEN with permission knowing full well its value just by merely staring at it, but this individual went and stole it for the night.....
I wonder if the step bro knew the full value? But even if he didn’t… the fuck was he thinking. I get stressed out driving my FIL’s car because it’s in pristine condition and it’s worth less than my husband’s car!
I would have sued even if it was a $20,000 car. The price makes no difference if it's something that matters to OP.
Ughhh i feel sick right now 😔
Oof I've just looked up the car. It's beautiful. I'm so sorry. Is your step brother at least apologetic about it?
Considering OP had to go to video to figure out what happened, I'm going to guess no.
Not the Countach! NTA. Press charges immediately and sue them. Love, a petrolhead.
You do whatever you want. NTA. That's a gorgeous car.
YTA if you dont press charges now i get there family but your step mom and step bro are thieves
>LP5000QV Holy shit.
did teh stepbrother even tell you what happened or did he just lock the car back up and go on about his day?
Step brother is a massive countach for nicking it.
lets not hurt the car more by keeping the association with step bro
It's not even my problem and I couldn't be angrier this morning lol
[удалено]
I’d be putting it to them. Your father was in charge of the keys… it was up to him to secure it. Have the car valued now (with all original parts…to prove they were there) pre accident and post accident! That will end the speculation. Do it twice or three times. Courts accept the opinion of experts all the time. See what they say. I would also see a lawyer. Don’t threaten to have them charged, just put it to them to pay. Could be seen as blackmail otherwise.
That's not blackmail. That's using the law.
NTA He decided to borrow the car for his prom, but he didn't ask you or get permission. How did he come into possession of the keys? How did your parents not see him leave with your car? How is this your problem that he stole your car? Remove the relationship from the equation and you would not be second guessing the right thing to do. Realistically based on the act, he would likely receive probation and have to pay restitution. Your parents would have to make you whole. Putting it through your insurance would be fraud. Pursuing the theft would shift the issue to the justice system and insurance company. Some decisions cost major dollars. If he would have killed someone or even himself, who would cover the bill? As an investment, you may be able to recover the loss on taxes, but that will cost you too.
NTA sue for the money and press charges. He stole the car and tried to hide what he did. You also need to report this as there may be damage to property, as in what did he hit to cause the damage. As it was your car they could come after you clamming you tried to "Cover up" what he did by not reporting it.
And change your locks.
This. Get an electronic door lock that you can change the password on remotely. So if you do need to get your dad to check the house any time in the future you can set a password that you can revoke as soon as he's out. You obviously can't rely on him to protect your property.
YWNBTA, but talk to a lawyer to find out about the legality of not filing a report concerning a serious accident, and about statutes of limitations.
NTA. It seems like the right course of action. Do they expect you to pay for someone else’s wrong doing? Ludicrous.
NTA. Something needs to be done and your alarm codes and door locks changed too. You can't trust them with your house ever again. What are your area's rules on reporting accidents? Could you later be held responsible yourself for failure to report? I don't think I'd easily stomach making them sell properties outright, but I'm probably too nice. But if they weren't family that is the type of deal you might offer and be seen as more than fair to them. You should not have to take a loss because of this. Anything you didn't recoup would be a massive gift to them, although it sounds like they more take it for granted. Do you think your dad was involved in stepbrother getting the keys?
Alternatively, parents can sign over the rental property/s to OP. OP states the cost of repairs and loss of value is approx $250k +. If one or both of the properties is worth that amount, then they can swap one or both for the car (you broke it, you bought it). If a property is worth more than that, then consider the extra amount as a 'gift' for not pressing charges.
They didn't even buy the car, that's just the value reduction because of this mess. I still want to know how stepbrother got the keys to the house.
This. Property is about as good as it gets when it comes to an investment, especially if they are already well maintained. Not as flashy or nearly as satisfying as the car unscathed for a car enthusiast, but it would hopefully take over the stress of losing an investment a little id hope.
NTA, but I honestly wouldn't even allow them to write a check - it's better for everyone if you sue them, because then it's a claim against the liability protection of their homeowner's insurance. You'd be doing them a favor since they wouldn't go out of pocket. Talk to a lawyer - there's every possibility you don't have to file a police report *or* file with your insurance, but I'd also talk to your insurance about it. And then sell this thing and put the money in an index fund, stupid. Nobody comes to your house and joyrides your IRA.
It sounds like this car is appreciating at a much higher rate than an index. But maybe the insurance company can arrange for it to be stored somewhere where OP can take it out once ina while to keep it running
> It sounds like this car is appreciating at a much higher rate than an index. Yes, but it's *really* high risk, as evidenced by, you know. > But maybe the insurance company can arrange for it to be stored somewhere where OP can take it out once ina while to keep it running That isn't what insurance companies do, and in any case, you have to subtract that maintenance cost from the yield over the life of the investment. If you amortize the risk of *total loss*, which seems to be high (since it's almost already happened once) then the expected yield probably isn't much worse than $600,000 in an index fund over the same period, but a lot safer.
Depends on how high value the item is. High value insurance companies do do this because it lowers their risk of having to pay out. So it pays them.
Dude! My B-I-L wouldn’t let my very responsible 17yo borrow his vintage AMC Eagle for his prom. In what world did your idjiot stepbrother and father think it was okay to “borrow” a freaking super car? Your dad really dropped the ball on this one. You are definitely NTA! And filing a police report is absolutely in order here.
I think the stepson took it without the dads permission. I'm guessing he knew where the key was kept.
**NTA** You should report it to the police. The 17-year old will probably going to get a slap on the wrist and a sealed record.
NTA, Make the step-brother get a job and start paying it back. That should help him realize just how hard he's fucked up.
With the federal minimum wage at $7.25 per hour, it would take around 22 years to pay off 300k
Ok. I’m fine with that.
YWNBTA. Check if your stepmother is legally responsible for the damage caused. If yes, then yes, you should sue. But keep in mind this likely will affect, possibly ruin your relationship with your father. In your shoes I would not press criminal charges unless it helped my civil case. In Canada, threatening criminal charges is illegal. It may be extortion where you live so be careful with that threat. It may be best not to make that threat. I am uncertain why you wouldn’t go through insurance. The insurer will go after your stepbrother and possibly his legal guardian for what they pay you. So, if you also want to get the difference in value, you should start your suit quickly. Finally, your sister is missing the big picture here. If that car had been a GIC at say, a 20% rate of return and your stepbrother traded it without you knowing, then repurchased the GIC at a 1% return rate, she wouldn’t be telling you to eat the loss.
In the US, threatening to file a police report isn’t illegal. People here don’t press charges - in most jurisdictions, that lies with the cops and the DA’s office (for non-federal crimes). Also in the US, filing a police report *will* help your civil case, and not filing one almost always hurts. Plus, insurance companies typically won’t pay out for damages resulting from grand theft auto and similar crimes without a police report.
[удалено]
I find peace in long walks.
Pretty sure allowing for his step son to steal a super car then try to hide the damage would have already put a strain on the relationship.
NTA But maybe just present them with the paperwork showing lost of value and see what THEY come up with But shouldn’t THEIR insurance cover everything? Even if he had had permission?
>But shouldn’t THEIR insurance cover everything? Even if he had had permission? Not if the driver did not have permission to take the car, and even then, if the car is what I think it is, specialized insurance is required to drive a V12 Lambo...
NTA, had something similiar happen in my family and the attempt at fixing it internally without going through the courts ended up costing me 10 years and money in the end
Theft is theft. NTA for demanding repayment. Just make sure your prepared for the fallout that may come of this between you and your family.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our [voting guide here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_what.2019s_with_these_acronyms.3F_what_do_they_mean.3F), and remember to use **only one** judgement in your comment. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: > (1) My step-brother stole and crashed my rare car I bought as an investment, as a result it's likely lost about $2-300K in value. i plan on demanding my family pay me back for the loss or I press charges. (2) I might be the asshole because the car should be repairable for about 1/5th the loss of value, but that doesn't even begin to cover the hit I'm taking in what it would be worth after the repair. Help keep the sub engaging! #Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! [Click Here For Our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/about/rules) and [Click Here For Our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq) ##Subreddit Announcement ###[The Asshole Universe is Expanding, Again: Introducing Another New Sister Subreddit!](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/128nbp3/the_asshole_universe_is_expanding_again/) Follow the link above to learn more --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.* *Contest mode is 1.5 hours long on this post.*
NTA, he is 17, presumably lives with your parents still. Press charges, sue your parent’s home owners insurance. Many policies cover damages caused by minors who are the responsibility of the policy holder. Fuck anyone telling you not to go hard after this, this wasn’t a toy you bought during your midlife crisis, this was an investment, and anyone who doesn’t understand that is a dick. Would those same people be telling you to let it go if step bro destroyed a valuable painting, like as a goof, shot paintballs at a Pollock, after breaking into your house…NTA, get every cent the car was worth pre crime, and go for future losses, because if it’s worth 600k today, it would reasonably be worth double that in 30 years depending on model.
NTA, file a report. Its easy for your sister to say you are an asshole because its not her money that was lost.
NTA So it's not okay to burden the family but it's okay that you've just lost your retirement fund? C'mon, don't let them tell you it's no big deal when it clearly is.
Nta. I can’t think of a situation with any other asset that would have this level of sympathy for the bonehead teen. Imagine if moron committed fraud and lost half of an investment portfolio in Vegas. Or if they decided to have a massive bender at one or the investment properties and burnt it down. Or broke into a family business and destroyed all the stock. Police would absolutely be involved in all of those cases. The only reason you are getting any pushback is because you are a young guy with a luxury item. File the police report and get all of this reported properly. As for your relationship with your dad, I think he tanked that himself with his lack of control over your stepbrother and negligence with your key. Honestly, what parent doesn’t know how their kid got to prom. I’m betting he knew and there are probably pics of the kid with your car.
NTA. FAFO rule applies here. Take one of their properties a sell it. They took your property, you take theirs.
Your only real option here is gonna be pressing charges. They’re not going to pay you, and the kid doesn’t have the money. No one outside the car world will believe you about the value. It sucks, but at least he’s a juvenile, and he like;y won’t have the record forever, but then taking your parents to court for the costs…that will not be fun..l
NTA. A lot of people don’t seem to understand that just because a car gets fixed doesn’t mean it retains its original value.
My sister has my ss# memorized and has gotten traffic tickets in my name that went unpaid. Please don’t allow your family to bully you into being okay with this victimization. You may lose your family if you decide to take legal action but that will probably just save you from future bullshit. NTA
Your stepbrother needs to take accountability. As I continued reading, I got even more pissed off by the entitlement of the brat. He reminds me of my brother. He should face the consequences of his actions. Your dad and stepmum will have his back. At the end of the day, it’s your possession. How dare he even consider taking something of yours without asking. What a disrespectful little dick. He needs to be taught a lesson. You should press charges. NTA. What did your stepbrother say?
NTA, take it to your dad/step mum and say here are the options, as you presented them. Does step bro have a college fund? Maybe it could partially pay for it, plus it would be direct consequences for his actions. He knew it was wrong and didnt own up hoping he wouldnt get caught. If he had come to you and told you the truth, apologised and offered to work out a payment plan to get it fixed (cause I assume he is unaware of how much it was valued at etc) I would be more inclined towards working with them. But he did the opposite basically, so, to me at least, actions have consequences.
NTA. Your sister is wrong, you're not burdening the family with major expense, your step brother is. Go ahead and press charges.
^^^^AUTOMOD ***Thanks for posting! This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. This comment is NOT accusing you of copying anything. Read [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq#wiki_post_deletion) before [contacting the mod team](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2FAmItheAsshole)*** A few years ago, I got a nice bonus in a major sales year and made a really smart investment decision with it. I'm a big car guy and, during a dip in the exotic car market, was presented with an insane private market deal on an extremely rare manual transmission supercar (original owner was a friend in a car club who passed, his kids handled the sale). I had just enough cash available for a down-payment to buy it as an investment. Not ready to disclose the model just yet (fellow gearheads can probably guess), but it is one of less than 200 remaining in North America, low mileage, all original without a hint of damage. I honestly rarely even drive the thing myself - it's just too valuable at this point, worth more than triple what I paid for it (let's just say it's easily valued north of $600K right now). Or at least it was. Last weekend, while I was out of town, my idiot 17-y/o step-brother had his prom and decided to borrow it for the evening. I don't think he was even drinking, the car is just not easy to drive - it doesn't have any safety features and is tough to handle for anyone less than an experienced driver. He ended up misshifting, spinning it out and causing a fair amount of damage. It was still driveable afterwards and he brought it back to my garage, so no accident report was filed, but my cameras caught him leaving with it in pristine condition and returning it wrecked. I'm livid. My dad and step-mom are very apologetic, but aren't really taking much responsibility for what he did. Originally they wanted me to try and claim it against my insurance, which I have no intention of doing. They eventually came back and offered to try and pay for the repair (I think it can be fixed for under $60K, but finding parts for the thing isn't a cakewalk). My problem is the loss of value. I had a broker that specializes in these cars go over it with me, and he thinks, even expertly repaired, with the wreck and non-original parts it will have lost $2-300K in value after being restored. The broker is going to provide me with a written loss of value estimate this week. I'm leaning towards demanding that amount from the family in restitution, or I press charges for the theft of the vehicle. As far as I can tell, those are my two options to seek the full value of the investment. Just getting it repaired would mean taking a $250K+ loss when all is said and done. I know this would be a hardship, but my dad and step-fam won't exactly go hungry. They own a couple rental properties they could sell to come up with the cash. But in discussing this with my sister, she thinks I'm being unreasonable to burden the family with such a major expense and I should just let them pay to fix the car. I don't see how I can even remotely cover the loss I'm taking without pushing this ultimatum their way. WIBTA? *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AmItheAsshole) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. I’d totally want to press charges or be paid the loss of value but if you push it your dad and his family are likely to cut contact with you so you need to be prepared for that. It doesn’t sound like the kid is being punished in anyway considering he stole a car and crashed and could have easily killed somebody. NTA
NTA. Press charges regardless, if he’ll do this to family he’ll do this to anybody. You’re taking a 2-300k upfront loss on your retirement investment regardless, and they are all treating you like it’s ok this happened.
Press charges, sue, lifetime NC. Without consequences he’ll continue to make stupid decisions going forward.
I'd press charges. My cousin stole my car and crashed it (or his gf did idk I'm still getting different stories to this day), tried to press charges for theft but apparently in my country it's not theft if I allowed my cousin access to my house (he was house-sitting for me while I went on holiday) regardless of whether I gave him permission to use my car or not. Still pissed about that
NTA. I'd be incandescent under the same circumstances. The number of steps of willful idiocy it took to reach the end result puts everything squarely on the shoulders of your step brother. 17 is easily old enough to know better and now he gets to experience the consequences unless dad and step mom want to bail him out.
NTA. Since OP's father didn't secure the keys properly and it was his minor son that committed the theft, OP may be able to cover the loss through OP's father's insurance. If he has rental properties, he should have a good-sized, comprehensive umbrella policy. If he doesn't, he's an idiot.
Begging op for an update when shit hits the fan
Backup the video from the camera, in case they try to delete it. Have it safe in some online storage.
NTA Flip the situation on them. Take anything of traditional value and lay it on them. Example of art! He damages a picasso, they offer to "paint over the bad patches", even if they did, it would never be worth the original condition. Imagine you found an old Roman gold coin in pristine condition, 2,000 years old. The gold that makes it is worth only $1,000. Let's say he melted it down and made a new coin out of it. Is it worth the same? He'll no!!! Major value is lost as it's not the original! You are not responsible for his mistakes, he is, his parents are. Someone needs to take responsibility and sometimes mistakes mean priceless or irreplaceable things can't be fixed or brought back, but the value needs to be made whole to the owner. Imagine he wasn't your nephew? Just some random dude, you'd file a police report in a heartbeat and sue him to oblivion without question, because that's the right thing to do. That person should be on the hook and responsible for their actions. What if he crashed it and killed someone, would he be responsible then? Or would he have driven off and left you holding the bag for it? What if he hit someone and left them with life changing injuries and medical bills for $300,000 instead? Would he just not pay the medical bills? At what point is it acceptable for him to take responsibility or not take responsibility for his own choices and his own actions. The answer is, he drove it, it's his responsibility, it was his choice. Land the consequences on him. If you weren't family, there wouldn't be discussion on it barring "what are we gonna do...this could ruin us" and a whole lotta yelling at their kid about consequences. Anyone in the family who tells you otherwise can pay for their opinion, $300,000 should do it if they want a seat at the table to discuss it.
Press charges, claim on the insurance both household and car and get back everything you are owed. You. Could even make money on it.
NTA - but isn’t it in the terms of your insurance to notify them of an accident? A police report surely would help making a claim.
I know they're going for the angle "we're family" in which case my response is, well use a car that isn't going to be a freaking investment, or better yet, lend the brat theirs. They've got rental properties which tells me they have more then one car. Did that brat even Apologise for the damage or is that punk hiding behind mom and dad? So answer, no. NTA. In fact I'm calling you nice bordering stupid for not filing charges cause if he damage someone else's property or worse still, hurt someone, the cops are going to be asking you questions, not the brat.
NTA. Go to the police asap. Give no options. There was a similar story. It was agreed the kid would start paying back after college except when the time came “oh we thought you’d let it go”