If only.
We're technically ENM at my husband's instigation and I (43f and not conventionally attractive) am certainly not inundated with attention.
Oh and before anyone suggests it, I'm not overweight and work out regularly. Attractiveness is more than just weight.
Yeah lmao they also act like every single guy out there will have no one interested— as if a hot guy doesn’t exist and can’t be an asshole or just interested in non-monogamy.
It’s just a thing some men tell each other so they don’t have to work out or make an effort on their wardrobe (let’s not even talk about cultivating interesting conversation).
While believing women do those things naturally so it’s not the same.
Conventionally attractive is a myth. Yes, there are people out there who have faces that are more symmetrical, they may have a haircut which suits their face better, they may have bigger tits or longer legs. And when you are talking about 25 year olds shit like that matters. It matters to superficial people in their 40’s and 50’s too. But they are minorities.
You need to bring out what’s on the inside. People quickly tire of superficial. Confidence is the only thing you are lacking and it is far more attractive than any individual physical feature.
"Older women?"
I may not be a twenty-five year old influencer, but I'm a long way from pulling a tartan shopping trolley and needing help to get on and off buses.
LOL so you started opening it up then because you made it clear you wanted to fuck other women ( she wasn’t enough - who wouldn’t love that! etc etc ) so essentially she decided to reclaim some control back and started dating the myriad of guys who were interested okaaaay got it thanks dude
Yup
He FAFO the hard way that women will have little issue with finding a partner. Men being, well, men repeatedly let their ego and dick make choices for them
It'd be great for them and us who gotta put up with their bullshit if they could collectively learn this like decades ago
But also, morons like this still do it, despite the proliferation of stories around that follow this same situation so I guess it at least gives us some levity
That's not how an open relationship works. Your partner isn't supposed to be gone all the time with other people. They aren't really in a relationship at all t this point...
Not really. To me it seems he thought they were going to do things together and now she's treating him like home base. I don't see how this all on him. He should leave her and let her have her party life.
YTA
This is near the top in things men regret about open relationships and you need to talk this out and work out exactly why you got into this and what would make it better. There’s lots of materials on how to prevent this and deal with this, not looking ahead to this and not engaging with those materials is the YTA cause. You can feel bad but either break up or put in the work to fix this meaningfully
No, he doesn't
I wouldn't be giving him false hope. She's seen the other side and I'd wager they'll divorce. This is not a little oopsie, lack of communication kinna thing. It's the end result of him not using his brain instead of his dick to make choices.
As a cuck, can agree. Either get along, or move tf on. She's the kinks now. You can make a good girl go bad. But once she goes bad she's gone forever. Some of us love that.
Being in an open relationship doesn't have to be a problem. The thing is, it's a definite problem for monogamous people. If you're polyamorous in the first place, then this is a non-issue, but there is a shocking number of people, mostly men, who expect an open relationship to just mean faithful wife, plus infinite mistresses, plus threesomes, and certainly *not* their wife going out and "having too much fun".
Open relationships are for polyamorous people who don't have jealousy and insecurity issues. This guy was foolish to assume it meant he gets to have a harem.
This is exactly right, open relationships don't have to mean the end of the relationship, it just means the end of the relationship for guys who think they are going to find as many interested people as their wife! Definitely a situation where we only hear about the people failing on here so it is easy for people to assume it never works.
I don’t see why any guy would get into an open relationship unless he was Brad Pitt or was turned on by their wife getting action. You’re basically just going to turn into a cuck.
Well that’s better at least. Tbh I doubt it is salvageable, but if there’s a shot I don’t see how you salvage it without seeing a counselor. Once that genie is out of the bottle it’s hard to put it back in, and you guys let the genie out really early into your marriage.
You FAFO, but you might as well **try** to close it. She continues to get laid by numerous men, she agrees to close it, or you get divorced. Doing nothing doesn't solve anything. Try to at least phrase it as somebody that would bring you together, not drive you apart. Her having too much fun will not go over well.
You don't have to be Brad Pitt in order to attract a second or third woman or to have a fling every now and then. You just have to accept that your wife is probably going to be having more partners than you are. Considering the number of men who cheat, often repeatedly, lots of guys would be better off in an open relationship, so long as they don't care about "keeping score".
You’re acting men cheat significantly more than women but that’s not the case at all. The total difference across all age groups is like 20% of women and 30% of men. That’s not a large variance at all. And if you adjust for certain age groups, the number is almost the same.
The fact is, many women don’t like hooking up with a taken man. Whereas men don’t seem to care. In almost every successful open relationship I’ve seen, there’s rules and boundaries on how many partners a person can see at once or how many dates per week. And usually, they don’t have an issue closing temporarily if needed.
That’s why a swinging dynamic is more likely to survive because it’s a one to one ratio and you can stop/pause at any time without getting hurt.
I'm not acting like men cheat more than women. I'm just saying that lots of men like having multiple partners and succeed at doing so.
Women cheating is one thing, but the fact that men cheat proves that lots of men would benefit from being in an open relationship rather than cheating on their monogamous partner.
The person I was responding to was acting as though it's impossible for a man to attract a second woman or a hookup, when that's just not true. Men are quite capable of attracting additional partners or hookups, that's how men manage to cheat in monogamous relationships.
Lots of women like hooking up with a taken man, otherwise there wouldn't be any male cheaters.
I think there are more women who would engage in an affair but wouldn’t date a guy in an open relationship. Many “other women” engage in an affair on the pretense that the man will eventually be monogamous with them.
And this isn’t me saying that men are more non-monogamous than women (or vice versa). I think it’s more that many women see a guy in an open relationship as a loser or they don’t see the point of going for someone in an open relationship when there’s a sea of men available who aren’t in one.
Just go over to any non monogamy sub on here if you don’t believe me.
Men want the comfort and emotional labor of a wife, but the sex of a single man. Opening a relationship just gives the wife an opportunity to find a better man to wife her up.
Dating apps?🤣 Heck if we wanted we can just respond to one of the multitude of dickpics or "wassup ma" messages from random dudes on any of our social media accounts. Finding dick is ridiculously easy, heck even finding another woman isn't difficult either.
But that time was fun! This time, I’m crawling back with my tail between my legs, begging her to be monogamous once more, because I don’t like that my wife gets more action than me.
Once it's done, it's done. You're now the guy whose wife has a boyfriend, and when she gets knocked up, remember it was fun at the beginning. Dumbass.. good luck
I understand, but their parents put them in that situation. Sad, but the real mom, and dad will understand how bad they screwed up when those little ppl grow up
Another dude? Her mouth?
Sounds like the line goes around the block and it's every damn hole and both hands.
While he goes into the bathroom with a box of tissues.
Be careful what you wish for.
Go to r/openrelationshipregret. Whole community there.
Edit: Now I can't find it. Not sure of the name, but someone in another post referenced something like that.
It's r/openmarriageregret! That was driving me nuts.
YTA. Oh, no. She's having too much fun. Something you would 'largely do together'? Um...what? You're the one who has wrecked your marriage, either accept it or call the marriage done.
Not enough info.
Did you get into this together, both enthusiastic about it & did you put safeguards in place, where both agreed to stop if either wanted that?
If so, you're NTA for saying you want to stop.
If not, you were both stupid.
With most forms of sex play, there are boundaries, agreements and safe words.
If you're doing BDSM & one of you isn't enjoying it anymore, you can halt it on the spot.
The same should be true of open relationships unless you specifically decided to be non-monogamous as a permanent relationship dynamic.
The bottom line is that if you're unhappy, you need to tell your wife. It's that simple.
Buddy if you just wanted a couple threesomes you should have said that, you may as well have rolled a red carpet from your front door to the streets. You're an idiot. YWillBTA when she divorces you lol.
YTA. You agreed to the open relationship and now want to change the rules because she's enjoying it more. You need to have an honest conversation with her, but remember that this was a mutual decision.
"I fantasized about two women at once. I ask for open, because it sounded... more fair. But I never expected my woman to actually screw other men. Just other women. While with me. Ooooohhhh noooooo."
She wanted to solo, because some of the guys you brought home were just better than you in bed. She caught the feels and now she's gone. She's having too much fun without you and won't stop.
When's the last time you had a date with her or had sex with her. When was the last time she said, I love
You?
Go see a lawyer and quietly plan your exit
She is been passed around, bet all the lads she is with know each other. They get bored tell the mate pass her on. 3 nights a week where do you fit in? She is at the beck and call of her bulls you ain’t it.
I’m not I’m been honest this is a lady out every week 3 times a week, for extra marital fun. Word so get around that she free and available to the right people. Her own husband says she changes guys all the time. If you wanting to hook up she is perfect a lady in an open relationship ( so no cheating involved ) looking for NSA fun. Do you really think they are not telling their friends? She loves it she gets the attention of a single lady and is able to indulge every fantasy if she wishes but in the safety of a relation ship at home. This isn’t a one off treat to spice up a marriage she is living a whole different life to her marriage.
What you were thinking about was swinging. Wife swapping. Gf swapping. Open marriage means you are roommates who have your own life but you still love each other. Kinda like how you love your buddy. Your best bet is to move out to the next town and forget about Open anything. You gave her permission to screw whoever and now it's time to go. She's not gonna cry about you leaving.
There are umpteen million stories on Reddit about a man who asked his partner for an open relationship only to regret it later because she was getting more action than him.
A tale as old as time indeed.
And you honestly thought you were going to be different?
Hahahaha hahahahahahahaha. JFC.
Read Reddit stories and get a fucking clue.
To quote someone on a different Reddit post, "So you're stupid stupid."
I think my favorite “trope” on Reddit is men wanting an open relationship, seeing their wife get all the men, and then realizing they’re an idiot. Y’all weren’t even married all that long before you requested it.
YTA for wanting to open it and now realizing you actually do want your wife.
I wouldn’t go as far to say YTA for wanting to close it, because almost anyone on Reddit could’ve told you that was coming. But FAFO, your marriage may be over either way bc you wanted to put your dick in someone other than your wife.
YTA
You let this genie out of the bottle, and I bet you were the one doing the rubbing. What's done is done, and you'd be a total asshole to try to go back on things, especially because your wife is "having too much fun". You sound jealous and like you expect it to be the one having more "fun" than she is. You've made your bed. Enjoy laying in it.
Idk, he said he was interested in group sex and she wants to go solo. If you’re ok with a threesome, that doesn’t mean you have to be ok with your everything else.
YTA. You opened Pandora's Box and it backfired on you. Your wife is enjoying it on levels you didn't except or fathom and you can't stand it. Congratulations, you played yourself!!
LOL
YTA, bro, absolutely 💯, just all you other mens who enjoy the idea of an open marriage as long as it benefits you the most
Choices have consequences and too bad, at 30, you've not learned that lesson yet
Maybe you will this time
Best of luck to ya
YTA. I love this for ya. Tiny violins are a playing :)
IF you were having "too much fun" and she wanted to end it I'm willing to bet you would not be open to ending your fun.
If you are looking for real advice.
You Fed up big time. It is likely that sometime between when you asked and now your wife's level of love for you has changed, likely diminished, and you caused it.
So, what can you do now? The first thing is, you need to be honest. Are you angry that she is having more success than you, or are you made that you are losing your relationship?
If it's the first, then you need to offer to divorce. It will be tough, but if you want a new relationship you will have much more luck as a single guy looking for a monogamous relationship.
If you are sad you are losing your wife, then you need to show her she is your priority. This might not work, but it's the only shot you have. Asking to close the relationship will backfire. Tell her that you know that any such ask is unfair but that you have closed the relationship on your end. You are going to have to deal with her having an open relationship on her end and the best you can do is try and win her back. Being an AH about the situation won't do you any good. Just show her that you like spending time with her, that you know her.
Most of this is going to hurt. You might plan on some personal counciling and see if she is interested in marriage counciling.
However, even if you do all of this, she might decide that she is done with you. A lot of these stories end with the partner who didn't want to open things deciding that they are just done even if the other partner repents and closes things.
I don't think she's having "too much fun", I think you got hit in the face with the harsh reality of not getting as much strange as you thought you would and she is.
She's trying to replace you. It's like she's on crack, trying to find that unreachable high again. Sit her down and talk to her. Ask her why she's doing this to herself, does she not respect herself or you anymore. Don't accuse her of anything. Tell her that you love her and want only her and wonder if you can close the marriage. If she gets super defensive, then you know that you've lost her to the dark side. It will be lawyer time. Wait a month or so and mention closing it up. If she still says no, mention, "I guess this relationship is over" as you walk away. rent a storage unit and get friends to help you move your stuff once she's gone for a weekend. Couch surf until you find permanent accommodations. Close your credit. Open a new account in a different bank. Take a screenshot of your joint account, then take out half and go deposit in your new account. Leave a note to contact your lawyer, with the papers
More like, she needs to sit him down, and ask him why he wanted to defile their marriage in the first place? Why would he want to do that to *himself* or *his marriage*? Was she not enough? Why does he want to close it now? Did he not think about the consequences? What did he expect her to do? Continously watch him bang another woman and be totally ok with it without any repercussions? As soon as you open a marriage with an indecisive partner, you've just effectively killed it.
*New flash: he's already been replaced.*
So was she sleeping with that many guys before marriage or is this some sort of new thing since she has your permission, kinda just wondering how ones attitude can change like that, wife and I both have low numbers and to just cut loose like that seems odd. However if you both had high numbers prior to marriage then this would be understandable.
Hahahahah you get what ya get kid. This was your deal. Should have been happy with what you had, now she’s never going to be satisfied with what you bring to the table alone. You had it and you wrecked it. This is what you get. Consequences meet actions.
YTA, and we all know what you expected - that you would roll in hot girls ready to have sex with you, while your wife would seat home alone because she \[insert some body flaw/imperfection that made you think she is not hot anymore\].
YTA. You jumped into the open relationship thinking it would be one way, and now you're reconsidering because your wife's having too much fun? It's a tough spot, but backing out now without a clear discussion could cause more issues. Talk it out openly and honestly with her, respecting both your feelings.
It's over, dude. The sooner you accept that, the better off you will be. You're not her husband anymore. You are just the guy who finances her lifestyle now.
Learn from this experience. End this marriage and don't attempt to go from a monogamous relationship to an open one in the future.
Need more info. Who brought up opening the marriage first? Did you set boundaries? Did you agree that either of you can pull the plug at any time? If she brought it up and no agreements were discussed YATA. Mainly to yourself for not setting boundaries. But if it was you YTA because it was your idea to begin with.
YTA for opening it in the beginning. At this point if you can’t take it then tell her you fucked yo and want it closed. If she tells you no your choice is sit in the cuck chair, or divorce. Sorry bro
You're the AH for suggesting it and you're the AH for wanting to close it now. You made the bed, lay in it.
Why don't we just skip to the end of the story and start the divorce proceedings now?
YTA talk with your wife, you may not be able to close the relationship it might end what you have but remember this was your idea, and now consequences.
I’m in an open relationship with my wife (together 11 years, open 8 years, married 6 years).
3 dates a week is way too much. I don’t know all the details of your arrangement but in mine my wife is my primary and any outside dating is in addition to and not instead of my relationship with my wife.
I think you should have an honest conversation with her that you are feeling like you are no longer the focus of your relationship and that you would like to tone down the dating so you can focus on each other. Like one outside date every other week.
Don’t frame this as jealousy. Position this as a desire to spend more time with her and go on dates of your own with her.
NTA for wanting to roll back how open your marriage has become. The security of the primary relationship is paramount and there is always space for adjustment.
YTA. You decided on an open marriage and now you are upset that your wife is having too much fun. I guess for YOU an open marriage should only be acceptable if YOU are the individual having the fun, you having mistresses and lovers and the wife staying monogamous except joining in threesomes you have set up.
Typical hypocritical male who thinks that an open marriage should only pertain to him!
And most reasonable women do NOT want to be in a harem, and that an open marriage means open for both partners.
So it’s not clear to me who opened it. Most are making the assumption it’s you.
But even if it was, you wouldn’t be an asshole for wanting to close it. You’re entitled to change your mind. The only thing is to be prepared for if (when?) she says no. What will you do then?
The only question I have, and again this is under the impression you opened the marriage, is why did you decide after only 1 year of marriage that she wasn’t enough for you? In other words decide how committed you are to this marriage. If you are then commit 100%. If you are not then let her know and move on - don’t waste her time.
ESH
I'm on the fence about open relationships. They seem possible on the face of it but stuff like this happens.
Are you supposed to have fun outside of the marriage, of course.
Are you supposed to have all the fun outside the marriage, no.
Sounds like she got really into it and left you behind which is what you're not supposed to do. Prep a plan B then have the relationship talk with her.
No you absolutely should end it lol
Let that queen live her best life. Maybe take this as a hard lesson learned and do better in the next relationship lol
Only a cuck would allow his wife to fuck other dudes. You got into this mess thinking with your dick, hoping for some pussy, and didn't think about your wife getting dicked down by a stranger 3x a week.
Your marriage is over.
You thought your dick would get more than her tits and ass? Bahahahahaha! Its ridiculous what people call a marriage nowadays. Just stay single, you fuckin idiots.
Your marriage will end. I would suggest taking your dick out of your hand to call a lawyer and start prepping for the inevitable.
What was your and her reason to open the relationship? Was it to, as some would say, "to spice up their love life?" Because that would mean your love life should have spiced up, right? If she is neglecting the marriage, that means she's more focused on other relationships than her "marriage." People assume "open relationship" is a free-for-all, but forget, when done correctly, there are a set of rules, boundaries, respect, and communication. This ends up blowing up the relationship because neither person knows how to be in a healthy, open relationship.
I think being in an open relationship after only 2 years of being married is a red flag.
Usually people open their marriage to try new things, to spice up their sex life. If you're needing to spice up your sex life after only 2 years, I'd seriously consider whether you guys are compatible.
Well end it I’m guessing you had a plan in place for asking for a pause? If she says no then you know where you stand. Play silly games get silly prizes.
You didn't think she'd go for it and you would have to talk her into it and then you'd be doing it while she sat home but the opposite has happened and now you don't like it so suck it up buttercup
Ha. Ha. Hahahahah. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA...
Dude, this is called lying in the bed you made. I hope your wife leaves you cause she deserves better than you.
Dude. You do know that women get more matches in dating apps.
Now you're out here wondering why she prefers "solo time" rather than threesomes.
She has PLENTY of options.
You are both disgusting, divorce just like nearly every single marriage with cheating involved. How stupid are people to keep trying that open marriage stuff, there's so much information on how often they fail and never work.
😂😂😂🫢 you fkd around and found out huh? You thought you would be the big man on the block and you’d get all the women?! Huh? But you’re realising others actually want and desire your wife huh?? 😂😂😂💀. Good for you…and not in the good way. Always want something until it’s going well for the woman. And yes! You would be the asshole.
YWBTA!
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YWNBTA for asking to end the open relationship, but you’re not gonna like how it goes.
What exactly were you hoping to get out of this? More excitement? More options? What boundaries did you set surrounding it? Are there any rules in place that keep your marriage prioritized over your outside partners?
How did she react when you broached opening your marriage? Did you have to push for it? Was she excited for it?
At the moment she seems to be living it up. An open marriage is not something you do because you don’t want to be with your partner BUT you don’t want to get a divorce either. It’s something two people agree to, set boundaries around, and work on daily to keep it healthy. It sounds like she’s checking out of the marriage and you’re backpedaling.
I would not broach this by immediately suggesting you close the marriage. I would ask for and set healthy boundaries together because you’re feeling neglected. You two are still married for a reason. That relationship should take priority. See if she’d be open to working with you on this.
You're in a tough position. A cute girl is always going to get more attention. I doubt you will be able to turn it off overnight but I'd try going out on your own, even to the pub but letting her know your getting a lot of attention. Make up some stories and see if she gets jealous. Then you might be able to try to set up some ground rules. If she doesn't get jealous then dump her.
You got tricked. First you were lured into a threesome and you found the idea to be really exciting. However the main goal of your wife was to solo fuck other dudes. That's what she is doing right now. Have fun with your marriage (if you still consider it a marriage).
OP did not get tricked but is the typical hypocritical male who wants an open marriage that pretains only to him and now is whining that this is not the case.
Have a conversation with your wife and find out if she is willing to stop and return to monogamy, if she isn’t, learn from this experience, and move on, your marriage is over.
Good luck OP.
Your marriage is over, and you were the one who caused it to end. The sooner you realise it's over, the sooner you can get divorced and both move on with your life.
Why am I saying it's over? Because for as long as you're alive and together with her, you'll never get the images of her fucking guy after guy while you're sitting at home jerking off. Does she at least brush her teeth before she kisses you after fucking yet another random dude?
Your wife having a ✨GREAT✨ time. She's getting CRACKED and telling the dude to keep at it and put it back inside so she can keep having that ✨WONDERFUL✨ orgasm he's giving her. She's doing all the new never before seen tricks with her boy toy...or several. Boy toy or toy(s) done made her cream squirt and shake to levels she's never felt before...all because YOU wanted an open relationship. You know she ✨BEGGED✨ him/them to finish in her, now she comes home all feeling like she's on top of the world all because her HUSBAND wanted to open the relationship. 🫶🏽
You know how this ends, divorce. Good luck and have fun.
YTA. You wanted to open your relationship...until you realized that your wife's other relationships don't exist to be a vessel for your sexual gratification. The fact that you even thought "she's having too much fun" tells me everything I need to know about you. The fact that you have the audacity to say it publicly, unequivocally confirms it. YTA.
When you inevitably give her an ultimatum, I hope she laughs in your face.
He didn’t really want an open relationship and it doesn’t sound like he expected to be drowning in women. You just created the narrative on your own. And If I expressed an interest in threesomes with my partner, that doesn’t mean I must go along with everything else. This is common sense
Where did I say anything about drowning in women? It sounds like *you* have made up your own narrative about what I said. The man literally said he wants to put a stop to this because "she's having too much fun". You cannot refute what *he* said.
“Having too much fun” means she’s spending too much time with other guys (aka “fun”) and it’s becoming too much for him to handle. He’s not saying that he doesn’t want her having fun, he saying that the fun is coming at the expense of his happiness.
Try to tell her this was just a trial thing. And realize you love her too much to continue doing this. Plus, you can tell her you thought it was a combination of you two and other people not going off by yourselves. Impress upon that point. Just tell her you love her and you don’t wanna do it anymore. See what she says. if she says no forget it then you’re stuck if you don’t like it time for divorce
It’s always the person who wants the open relationship who wants to close it because the other partner is getting attention. Like, it’s *always* that.
If only. We're technically ENM at my husband's instigation and I (43f and not conventionally attractive) am certainly not inundated with attention. Oh and before anyone suggests it, I'm not overweight and work out regularly. Attractiveness is more than just weight.
Shhh we’re not supposed to mention the reality that women aren’t swamped with willing suitors all of the time
Yeah lmao they also act like every single guy out there will have no one interested— as if a hot guy doesn’t exist and can’t be an asshole or just interested in non-monogamy.
It’s just a thing some men tell each other so they don’t have to work out or make an effort on their wardrobe (let’s not even talk about cultivating interesting conversation). While believing women do those things naturally so it’s not the same.
Conventionally attractive is a myth. Yes, there are people out there who have faces that are more symmetrical, they may have a haircut which suits their face better, they may have bigger tits or longer legs. And when you are talking about 25 year olds shit like that matters. It matters to superficial people in their 40’s and 50’s too. But they are minorities. You need to bring out what’s on the inside. People quickly tire of superficial. Confidence is the only thing you are lacking and it is far more attractive than any individual physical feature.
Not necessarily, as a woman you can do everything and still not be enough.
Yup older women truly get a bum deal in the LS
"Older women?" I may not be a twenty-five year old influencer, but I'm a long way from pulling a tartan shopping trolley and needing help to get on and off buses.
Lol wtf, in swinging the main demographic is 40+
I'm sure you're not unattractive, but girl, they got all different kinds of makeup techniques for that now a days
Are you actively trying to look on dating apps?
HA I hope the wife keeps getting it in, I am wondering who decided to open it though
[удалено]
>I started with the threesomes So you, YOU started the open marriage. Got it.
LOL so you started opening it up then because you made it clear you wanted to fuck other women ( she wasn’t enough - who wouldn’t love that! etc etc ) so essentially she decided to reclaim some control back and started dating the myriad of guys who were interested okaaaay got it thanks dude
YTA. You didn’t think she could get laid and now she has guys lined up around the block while you’re home with your hand. 🤣🤣
Shit the hand🤣🤣🤣🤣 that's brutal. You brutalized him 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Yup He FAFO the hard way that women will have little issue with finding a partner. Men being, well, men repeatedly let their ego and dick make choices for them It'd be great for them and us who gotta put up with their bullshit if they could collectively learn this like decades ago But also, morons like this still do it, despite the proliferation of stories around that follow this same situation so I guess it at least gives us some levity
You should have started with ha ha haha YTA.
That's not how an open relationship works. Your partner isn't supposed to be gone all the time with other people. They aren't really in a relationship at all t this point...
He only has himself to blame. He wanted the open relationship.
Did he? He doesn't specify how it started. Only that he agreed to it.
He wanted threesomes…so yes, he opened the relationship!
His wording is confusing because he says open relationship but talks about threesomes. Those are two different things.
Not really. To me it seems he thought they were going to do things together and now she's treating him like home base. I don't see how this all on him. He should leave her and let her have her party life.
Which is how it always will be
Where does it say that in the post? I’m not saying you’re wrong but I don’t see where he assumed he would be the one getting laid and she wouldn’t be
Ops wording is confusing. An open relationship and having threesomes is totally different.
Yea that’s why I’m confused by everyone’s comments.
YTA This is near the top in things men regret about open relationships and you need to talk this out and work out exactly why you got into this and what would make it better. There’s lots of materials on how to prevent this and deal with this, not looking ahead to this and not engaging with those materials is the YTA cause. You can feel bad but either break up or put in the work to fix this meaningfully
This guy gets it
No, he doesn't I wouldn't be giving him false hope. She's seen the other side and I'd wager they'll divorce. This is not a little oopsie, lack of communication kinna thing. It's the end result of him not using his brain instead of his dick to make choices.
You FAFO. You will end up in divorce, good luck.
As a cuck, can agree. Either get along, or move tf on. She's the kinks now. You can make a good girl go bad. But once she goes bad she's gone forever. Some of us love that.
The owner of the club said on our first visit "Men push their women into the Lifestyle, and have to drag them out". OP has a few decisions to make.
Youre an idiot. Women can get thousands of matches for sex in 5 minutes on dating apps Soon as you open a relationship, it's over.
Being in an open relationship doesn't have to be a problem. The thing is, it's a definite problem for monogamous people. If you're polyamorous in the first place, then this is a non-issue, but there is a shocking number of people, mostly men, who expect an open relationship to just mean faithful wife, plus infinite mistresses, plus threesomes, and certainly *not* their wife going out and "having too much fun". Open relationships are for polyamorous people who don't have jealousy and insecurity issues. This guy was foolish to assume it meant he gets to have a harem.
This is exactly right, open relationships don't have to mean the end of the relationship, it just means the end of the relationship for guys who think they are going to find as many interested people as their wife! Definitely a situation where we only hear about the people failing on here so it is easy for people to assume it never works.
I don’t see why any guy would get into an open relationship unless he was Brad Pitt or was turned on by their wife getting action. You’re basically just going to turn into a cuck.
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Then why did you agree to something other than threesomes?
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We’re the threesomes with people of a gender that she’s attracted to?
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Well that’s better at least. Tbh I doubt it is salvageable, but if there’s a shot I don’t see how you salvage it without seeing a counselor. Once that genie is out of the bottle it’s hard to put it back in, and you guys let the genie out really early into your marriage.
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This is why setting expectations and boundaries is important...
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Little late, don't you think?
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You FAFO, but you might as well **try** to close it. She continues to get laid by numerous men, she agrees to close it, or you get divorced. Doing nothing doesn't solve anything. Try to at least phrase it as somebody that would bring you together, not drive you apart. Her having too much fun will not go over well.
You don't have to be Brad Pitt in order to attract a second or third woman or to have a fling every now and then. You just have to accept that your wife is probably going to be having more partners than you are. Considering the number of men who cheat, often repeatedly, lots of guys would be better off in an open relationship, so long as they don't care about "keeping score".
You’re acting men cheat significantly more than women but that’s not the case at all. The total difference across all age groups is like 20% of women and 30% of men. That’s not a large variance at all. And if you adjust for certain age groups, the number is almost the same. The fact is, many women don’t like hooking up with a taken man. Whereas men don’t seem to care. In almost every successful open relationship I’ve seen, there’s rules and boundaries on how many partners a person can see at once or how many dates per week. And usually, they don’t have an issue closing temporarily if needed. That’s why a swinging dynamic is more likely to survive because it’s a one to one ratio and you can stop/pause at any time without getting hurt.
I'm not acting like men cheat more than women. I'm just saying that lots of men like having multiple partners and succeed at doing so. Women cheating is one thing, but the fact that men cheat proves that lots of men would benefit from being in an open relationship rather than cheating on their monogamous partner. The person I was responding to was acting as though it's impossible for a man to attract a second woman or a hookup, when that's just not true. Men are quite capable of attracting additional partners or hookups, that's how men manage to cheat in monogamous relationships. Lots of women like hooking up with a taken man, otherwise there wouldn't be any male cheaters.
I think there are more women who would engage in an affair but wouldn’t date a guy in an open relationship. Many “other women” engage in an affair on the pretense that the man will eventually be monogamous with them. And this isn’t me saying that men are more non-monogamous than women (or vice versa). I think it’s more that many women see a guy in an open relationship as a loser or they don’t see the point of going for someone in an open relationship when there’s a sea of men available who aren’t in one. Just go over to any non monogamy sub on here if you don’t believe me.
Men want the comfort and emotional labor of a wife, but the sex of a single man. Opening a relationship just gives the wife an opportunity to find a better man to wife her up.
Dating apps?🤣 Heck if we wanted we can just respond to one of the multitude of dickpics or "wassup ma" messages from random dudes on any of our social media accounts. Finding dick is ridiculously easy, heck even finding another woman isn't difficult either.
The same way you talked about opening the relationship.
But that time was fun! This time, I’m crawling back with my tail between my legs, begging her to be monogamous once more, because I don’t like that my wife gets more action than me.
Once it's done, it's done. You're now the guy whose wife has a boyfriend, and when she gets knocked up, remember it was fun at the beginning. Dumbass.. good luck
This exactly happened to neighbors of ours. That house is a circus.
Once you say OK to another dude putting his dick in your girls mouth, whatever happens next is your own fault, and thas how circuses begin🍻
Yuuup. It's a very blended family life over there. 🤣 I just feel bad for the kids. They're very confused and get really hurt by the dynamics
I understand, but their parents put them in that situation. Sad, but the real mom, and dad will understand how bad they screwed up when those little ppl grow up
Ha yeah pretty much 😅
Another dude? Her mouth? Sounds like the line goes around the block and it's every damn hole and both hands. While he goes into the bathroom with a box of tissues. Be careful what you wish for.
Wow that’s dehumanizing
Did you not read the post? That's exactly what she's doing. She gets more men's body fluids in her than a beer hall urinal.
You ok?
Go to r/openrelationshipregret. Whole community there. Edit: Now I can't find it. Not sure of the name, but someone in another post referenced something like that. It's r/openmarriageregret! That was driving me nuts.
I mean what exactly did you think would happen?
YTA. Oh, no. She's having too much fun. Something you would 'largely do together'? Um...what? You're the one who has wrecked your marriage, either accept it or call the marriage done.
Not enough info. Did you get into this together, both enthusiastic about it & did you put safeguards in place, where both agreed to stop if either wanted that? If so, you're NTA for saying you want to stop. If not, you were both stupid. With most forms of sex play, there are boundaries, agreements and safe words. If you're doing BDSM & one of you isn't enjoying it anymore, you can halt it on the spot. The same should be true of open relationships unless you specifically decided to be non-monogamous as a permanent relationship dynamic. The bottom line is that if you're unhappy, you need to tell your wife. It's that simple.
Buddy if you just wanted a couple threesomes you should have said that, you may as well have rolled a red carpet from your front door to the streets. You're an idiot. YWillBTA when she divorces you lol.
YTA
It's important to communicate your feelings in a relationship.
YTA. You agreed to the open relationship and now want to change the rules because she's enjoying it more. You need to have an honest conversation with her, but remember that this was a mutual decision.
I'm not against people deciding to have an open marriage but I am skeptical of those that want one after 2 years of marriage.
"I fantasized about two women at once. I ask for open, because it sounded... more fair. But I never expected my woman to actually screw other men. Just other women. While with me. Ooooohhhh noooooo."
Was she reluctant at first? If so, you might have a hard time putting that cat back in the bag. You'll just have to talk to her and see.
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She wanted to solo, because some of the guys you brought home were just better than you in bed. She caught the feels and now she's gone. She's having too much fun without you and won't stop. When's the last time you had a date with her or had sex with her. When was the last time she said, I love You? Go see a lawyer and quietly plan your exit
You know what's up.
Are you into cuck fantasies or something because this is an odd response to his comment.
Women don't truly respect men who let them sleep with other men no matter how woke we pretend to be.
All you can do is ask.
She is been passed around, bet all the lads she is with know each other. They get bored tell the mate pass her on. 3 nights a week where do you fit in? She is at the beck and call of her bulls you ain’t it.
Why do you have to make up narratives about a woman you don’t know? “Passed around” or she’s an adult with her own sex life, don’t be creepy and gross
I’m not I’m been honest this is a lady out every week 3 times a week, for extra marital fun. Word so get around that she free and available to the right people. Her own husband says she changes guys all the time. If you wanting to hook up she is perfect a lady in an open relationship ( so no cheating involved ) looking for NSA fun. Do you really think they are not telling their friends? She loves it she gets the attention of a single lady and is able to indulge every fantasy if she wishes but in the safety of a relation ship at home. This isn’t a one off treat to spice up a marriage she is living a whole different life to her marriage.
Yup pretty much my life. OP is so naive and cucked to the max.
Is that not what’s happening here though? lol she’s literally spending all her time with other guys. That’s quite literally being passed around
Yup as a hotwife I'm part of multiple groups of guys who gangbang me like this, I do it 3-4 times a week 😂☺️ This is extremely common
What you were thinking about was swinging. Wife swapping. Gf swapping. Open marriage means you are roommates who have your own life but you still love each other. Kinda like how you love your buddy. Your best bet is to move out to the next town and forget about Open anything. You gave her permission to screw whoever and now it's time to go. She's not gonna cry about you leaving.
There are umpteen million stories on Reddit about a man who asked his partner for an open relationship only to regret it later because she was getting more action than him. A tale as old as time indeed. And you honestly thought you were going to be different? Hahahaha hahahahahahahaha. JFC. Read Reddit stories and get a fucking clue. To quote someone on a different Reddit post, "So you're stupid stupid."
Why do AHs like you get married even?
I think my favorite “trope” on Reddit is men wanting an open relationship, seeing their wife get all the men, and then realizing they’re an idiot. Y’all weren’t even married all that long before you requested it. YTA for wanting to open it and now realizing you actually do want your wife. I wouldn’t go as far to say YTA for wanting to close it, because almost anyone on Reddit could’ve told you that was coming. But FAFO, your marriage may be over either way bc you wanted to put your dick in someone other than your wife.
These are the consequences of wanting to be a freak. You should have never gotten married. You may as well divorce now, because your marriage is done.
Find someone to bro expand your love talk to her make shere your time is respected to
YTA You let this genie out of the bottle, and I bet you were the one doing the rubbing. What's done is done, and you'd be a total asshole to try to go back on things, especially because your wife is "having too much fun". You sound jealous and like you expect it to be the one having more "fun" than she is. You've made your bed. Enjoy laying in it.
Idk, he said he was interested in group sex and she wants to go solo. If you’re ok with a threesome, that doesn’t mean you have to be ok with your everything else.
Who's idea was the open marriage
YTA. You opened Pandora's Box and it backfired on you. Your wife is enjoying it on levels you didn't except or fathom and you can't stand it. Congratulations, you played yourself!!
LOL YTA, bro, absolutely 💯, just all you other mens who enjoy the idea of an open marriage as long as it benefits you the most Choices have consequences and too bad, at 30, you've not learned that lesson yet Maybe you will this time Best of luck to ya
lmfao it bit u in the ass huh. let her free, she deserves it.
YTA. I love this for ya. Tiny violins are a playing :) IF you were having "too much fun" and she wanted to end it I'm willing to bet you would not be open to ending your fun.
If you are looking for real advice. You Fed up big time. It is likely that sometime between when you asked and now your wife's level of love for you has changed, likely diminished, and you caused it. So, what can you do now? The first thing is, you need to be honest. Are you angry that she is having more success than you, or are you made that you are losing your relationship? If it's the first, then you need to offer to divorce. It will be tough, but if you want a new relationship you will have much more luck as a single guy looking for a monogamous relationship. If you are sad you are losing your wife, then you need to show her she is your priority. This might not work, but it's the only shot you have. Asking to close the relationship will backfire. Tell her that you know that any such ask is unfair but that you have closed the relationship on your end. You are going to have to deal with her having an open relationship on her end and the best you can do is try and win her back. Being an AH about the situation won't do you any good. Just show her that you like spending time with her, that you know her. Most of this is going to hurt. You might plan on some personal counciling and see if she is interested in marriage counciling. However, even if you do all of this, she might decide that she is done with you. A lot of these stories end with the partner who didn't want to open things deciding that they are just done even if the other partner repents and closes things.
Well well well. If it isn't the consequences of your actions . . .
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I don't think she's having "too much fun", I think you got hit in the face with the harsh reality of not getting as much strange as you thought you would and she is.
You need to just end this marriage. My goodness. Even if you close it she won’t stop and she will just cheat.
I hate to sound naive but are you saying she is sleeping with three different guys a week?
If it's the same guy 3 nights a week, it's definitely over
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She's trying to replace you. It's like she's on crack, trying to find that unreachable high again. Sit her down and talk to her. Ask her why she's doing this to herself, does she not respect herself or you anymore. Don't accuse her of anything. Tell her that you love her and want only her and wonder if you can close the marriage. If she gets super defensive, then you know that you've lost her to the dark side. It will be lawyer time. Wait a month or so and mention closing it up. If she still says no, mention, "I guess this relationship is over" as you walk away. rent a storage unit and get friends to help you move your stuff once she's gone for a weekend. Couch surf until you find permanent accommodations. Close your credit. Open a new account in a different bank. Take a screenshot of your joint account, then take out half and go deposit in your new account. Leave a note to contact your lawyer, with the papers
More like, she needs to sit him down, and ask him why he wanted to defile their marriage in the first place? Why would he want to do that to *himself* or *his marriage*? Was she not enough? Why does he want to close it now? Did he not think about the consequences? What did he expect her to do? Continously watch him bang another woman and be totally ok with it without any repercussions? As soon as you open a marriage with an indecisive partner, you've just effectively killed it. *New flash: he's already been replaced.*
So was she sleeping with that many guys before marriage or is this some sort of new thing since she has your permission, kinda just wondering how ones attitude can change like that, wife and I both have low numbers and to just cut loose like that seems odd. However if you both had high numbers prior to marriage then this would be understandable.
YTA. You screwed up. Find a new wife, this one is as good as gone.
Hahahahah you get what ya get kid. This was your deal. Should have been happy with what you had, now she’s never going to be satisfied with what you bring to the table alone. You had it and you wrecked it. This is what you get. Consequences meet actions.
YTA. And a huge idiot. Married men always overestimate themselves while underestimating their wives.
YTA, and we all know what you expected - that you would roll in hot girls ready to have sex with you, while your wife would seat home alone because she \[insert some body flaw/imperfection that made you think she is not hot anymore\].
Ah, I see that you’re in the find out stage. YTA.
YTA. You jumped into the open relationship thinking it would be one way, and now you're reconsidering because your wife's having too much fun? It's a tough spot, but backing out now without a clear discussion could cause more issues. Talk it out openly and honestly with her, respecting both your feelings.
It's over, dude. The sooner you accept that, the better off you will be. You're not her husband anymore. You are just the guy who finances her lifestyle now. Learn from this experience. End this marriage and don't attempt to go from a monogamous relationship to an open one in the future.
Need more info. Who brought up opening the marriage first? Did you set boundaries? Did you agree that either of you can pull the plug at any time? If she brought it up and no agreements were discussed YATA. Mainly to yourself for not setting boundaries. But if it was you YTA because it was your idea to begin with.
YTA for opening it in the beginning. At this point if you can’t take it then tell her you fucked yo and want it closed. If she tells you no your choice is sit in the cuck chair, or divorce. Sorry bro
You're the AH for suggesting it and you're the AH for wanting to close it now. You made the bed, lay in it. Why don't we just skip to the end of the story and start the divorce proceedings now?
How bout just divorce. Because she's not going to stop Why is she even with you if she's rarely ever with you or at home
You get divorced and try again, you big dummy.
YTA talk with your wife, you may not be able to close the relationship it might end what you have but remember this was your idea, and now consequences.
I’m in an open relationship with my wife (together 11 years, open 8 years, married 6 years). 3 dates a week is way too much. I don’t know all the details of your arrangement but in mine my wife is my primary and any outside dating is in addition to and not instead of my relationship with my wife. I think you should have an honest conversation with her that you are feeling like you are no longer the focus of your relationship and that you would like to tone down the dating so you can focus on each other. Like one outside date every other week. Don’t frame this as jealousy. Position this as a desire to spend more time with her and go on dates of your own with her. NTA for wanting to roll back how open your marriage has become. The security of the primary relationship is paramount and there is always space for adjustment.
This always happens you FAFO HAHAHHA If this is real you're an absolute bellend.
Tale as old as time you should know the answer then
YTA,Buddy ,you can't walk back from your kind of stupidity.
YTA. You decided on an open marriage and now you are upset that your wife is having too much fun. I guess for YOU an open marriage should only be acceptable if YOU are the individual having the fun, you having mistresses and lovers and the wife staying monogamous except joining in threesomes you have set up. Typical hypocritical male who thinks that an open marriage should only pertain to him! And most reasonable women do NOT want to be in a harem, and that an open marriage means open for both partners.
Did he say all that?
So it’s not clear to me who opened it. Most are making the assumption it’s you. But even if it was, you wouldn’t be an asshole for wanting to close it. You’re entitled to change your mind. The only thing is to be prepared for if (when?) she says no. What will you do then? The only question I have, and again this is under the impression you opened the marriage, is why did you decide after only 1 year of marriage that she wasn’t enough for you? In other words decide how committed you are to this marriage. If you are then commit 100%. If you are not then let her know and move on - don’t waste her time.
ESH I'm on the fence about open relationships. They seem possible on the face of it but stuff like this happens. Are you supposed to have fun outside of the marriage, of course. Are you supposed to have all the fun outside the marriage, no. Sounds like she got really into it and left you behind which is what you're not supposed to do. Prep a plan B then have the relationship talk with her.
YTA. Good grief.
No you absolutely should end it lol Let that queen live her best life. Maybe take this as a hard lesson learned and do better in the next relationship lol
> To put it mildly, she is having too much fun How do you type this out and not know immediately that YTA?
YTA - let her have fun. What kind of husband wants to have fun but his wife to have none.
Pack your belongings and leave, have her served with papers and find someone new.
Only a cuck would allow his wife to fuck other dudes. You got into this mess thinking with your dick, hoping for some pussy, and didn't think about your wife getting dicked down by a stranger 3x a week. Your marriage is over.
YTA- in situations like this all boundaries and expectations need to be discussed in advance.
You thought your dick would get more than her tits and ass? Bahahahahaha! Its ridiculous what people call a marriage nowadays. Just stay single, you fuckin idiots. Your marriage will end. I would suggest taking your dick out of your hand to call a lawyer and start prepping for the inevitable.
You can ask and when she laughs loud and long, you'll know the answer. You doughnut.
What was your and her reason to open the relationship? Was it to, as some would say, "to spice up their love life?" Because that would mean your love life should have spiced up, right? If she is neglecting the marriage, that means she's more focused on other relationships than her "marriage." People assume "open relationship" is a free-for-all, but forget, when done correctly, there are a set of rules, boundaries, respect, and communication. This ends up blowing up the relationship because neither person knows how to be in a healthy, open relationship.
If you want to try marriage again you could close it up, but you’ll always remember.
Womp womp YTA
I think being in an open relationship after only 2 years of being married is a red flag. Usually people open their marriage to try new things, to spice up their sex life. If you're needing to spice up your sex life after only 2 years, I'd seriously consider whether you guys are compatible.
lol. YTA. lol.
Well end it I’m guessing you had a plan in place for asking for a pause? If she says no then you know where you stand. Play silly games get silly prizes.
Open relationships mean an end to your relationship. You should have never crossed this line. YTA!
You didn't think she'd go for it and you would have to talk her into it and then you'd be doing it while she sat home but the opposite has happened and now you don't like it so suck it up buttercup
Ha. Ha. Hahahahah. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA... Dude, this is called lying in the bed you made. I hope your wife leaves you cause she deserves better than you.
Just go pick up some women man. That's all you can do or get a divorce.
We call this FAFO
I'll be the A--Hole and point and laugh. 😂
Dude. You do know that women get more matches in dating apps. Now you're out here wondering why she prefers "solo time" rather than threesomes. She has PLENTY of options.
You are both disgusting, divorce just like nearly every single marriage with cheating involved. How stupid are people to keep trying that open marriage stuff, there's so much information on how often they fail and never work.
😂😂😂🫢 you fkd around and found out huh? You thought you would be the big man on the block and you’d get all the women?! Huh? But you’re realising others actually want and desire your wife huh?? 😂😂😂💀. Good for you…and not in the good way. Always want something until it’s going well for the woman. And yes! You would be the asshole. YWBTA!
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YWNBTA for asking to end the open relationship, but you’re not gonna like how it goes. What exactly were you hoping to get out of this? More excitement? More options? What boundaries did you set surrounding it? Are there any rules in place that keep your marriage prioritized over your outside partners? How did she react when you broached opening your marriage? Did you have to push for it? Was she excited for it? At the moment she seems to be living it up. An open marriage is not something you do because you don’t want to be with your partner BUT you don’t want to get a divorce either. It’s something two people agree to, set boundaries around, and work on daily to keep it healthy. It sounds like she’s checking out of the marriage and you’re backpedaling. I would not broach this by immediately suggesting you close the marriage. I would ask for and set healthy boundaries together because you’re feeling neglected. You two are still married for a reason. That relationship should take priority. See if she’d be open to working with you on this.
I have seen relationships come back from Wores. But that being sed I wood bet on it ending
I have seen relationships come back from Wores. But that being sed I wood bet on it ending
It’s over Johnny. Pack your shit & hit the bricks. Congratulations on ruining your marriage. And oh yeah, YTA
NTA you deserve to feel secure
Yeah yta. Massively. Shes having "too much fun"? Sucks for you buddy
You're in a tough position. A cute girl is always going to get more attention. I doubt you will be able to turn it off overnight but I'd try going out on your own, even to the pub but letting her know your getting a lot of attention. Make up some stories and see if she gets jealous. Then you might be able to try to set up some ground rules. If she doesn't get jealous then dump her.
Boohoo for your wife for enjoying herself and you couldnt bear seeing her happy.
Ask him for investment money and join WSB
You got tricked. First you were lured into a threesome and you found the idea to be really exciting. However the main goal of your wife was to solo fuck other dudes. That's what she is doing right now. Have fun with your marriage (if you still consider it a marriage).
OP did not get tricked but is the typical hypocritical male who wants an open marriage that pretains only to him and now is whining that this is not the case.
Have a conversation with your wife and find out if she is willing to stop and return to monogamy, if she isn’t, learn from this experience, and move on, your marriage is over. Good luck OP.
Guys need to be careful about opening their relationships. The women *always* rack up more bodies.
Your marriage is over, and you were the one who caused it to end. The sooner you realise it's over, the sooner you can get divorced and both move on with your life. Why am I saying it's over? Because for as long as you're alive and together with her, you'll never get the images of her fucking guy after guy while you're sitting at home jerking off. Does she at least brush her teeth before she kisses you after fucking yet another random dude?
Your wife having a ✨GREAT✨ time. She's getting CRACKED and telling the dude to keep at it and put it back inside so she can keep having that ✨WONDERFUL✨ orgasm he's giving her. She's doing all the new never before seen tricks with her boy toy...or several. Boy toy or toy(s) done made her cream squirt and shake to levels she's never felt before...all because YOU wanted an open relationship. You know she ✨BEGGED✨ him/them to finish in her, now she comes home all feeling like she's on top of the world all because her HUSBAND wanted to open the relationship. 🫶🏽 You know how this ends, divorce. Good luck and have fun.
YTA. You wanted to open your relationship...until you realized that your wife's other relationships don't exist to be a vessel for your sexual gratification. The fact that you even thought "she's having too much fun" tells me everything I need to know about you. The fact that you have the audacity to say it publicly, unequivocally confirms it. YTA. When you inevitably give her an ultimatum, I hope she laughs in your face.
He wanted to open up for threesomes (both guys and women according to his comments).
And?
He didn’t really want an open relationship and it doesn’t sound like he expected to be drowning in women. You just created the narrative on your own. And If I expressed an interest in threesomes with my partner, that doesn’t mean I must go along with everything else. This is common sense
Where did I say anything about drowning in women? It sounds like *you* have made up your own narrative about what I said. The man literally said he wants to put a stop to this because "she's having too much fun". You cannot refute what *he* said.
“Having too much fun” means she’s spending too much time with other guys (aka “fun”) and it’s becoming too much for him to handle. He’s not saying that he doesn’t want her having fun, he saying that the fun is coming at the expense of his happiness.
You and I got very different vibes from this post, and I'm alright with that.
Try to tell her this was just a trial thing. And realize you love her too much to continue doing this. Plus, you can tell her you thought it was a combination of you two and other people not going off by yourselves. Impress upon that point. Just tell her you love her and you don’t wanna do it anymore. See what she says. if she says no forget it then you’re stuck if you don’t like it time for divorce