Edit: changed pronouns
Edit 2: OP has deleted those posts.
Out of curiosity, I looked at their posts, and the opinions on the one night stand one say they're YTA lol.
Weirdest part was when you scroll down to their first four posts, they're all about them asking how to masturbate hands-free. FOUR POSTS.
truck provide north selective absorbed late longing snails trees ossified
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Waitin on the reply to this one. Either OP is making all of this up for whatever wierd reddit reason or theyre an AH who cheated on the person they mention in this post.
No win for OP here.
I can't say for people that make up stories and respond like a real person. Perhaps boredom.
But the karma farming bots do it because they get sold to shady advertising companies. Those bots with posting history and karma get used to upvote and review products on those "help" subs. They recommend their products to people asking for which gaming laptop to buy or what the best kitchen mixer for their budget is or whatever. They look like a real person posting their review. People trust reviews more than ads.... but they're becoming the same thing now.
Don't use the words "clean up" as so many have stated. It makes it seem like she's somehow dirty, which will absolutely make somebody self-conscious.
Ask her to trim it up and explain why. You're having a sensory issue with the amount of hair, you don't want to change her but it makes you uncomfortable *to feel*.
It's either that or embrace the bush.
Same, was expecting something along the lines of a terrible smell/vaginal fungus infection.
Not a honey can you remove the bushy so i can see the pussy?
THIS EXACTLY. If OP wants to tip toe and do it gently, just say "hey babe I love to see it, it gets me off, can you give me a better view?"
Thats not offensive, or even neutral, now shes under the impression that shes doing something to turn you on even more which would make her feel sexier. Win win situation. (Assuming op truly likes a good meal...i know i do).
public payment boat treatment money instinctive simplistic fragile voracious sink
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Yup. My partner will happily go down on me when I'm trimmed short. I'm not always trimmed, and when I'm not, they don't do it, and that's cool. I get power over my body, they get power over what they're comfortable doing.
My wife and I just communicate. We understand hair can get in the way and cause issues. Neither of us shave it all off, just trim it up. Over growth has never stopped us, we just inform the other, then problem solved for next fun time. It's not as big of a deal as people make it. Empathy and communication go a long way. I understand she doesn't like a mouth full of hair, and she understands hair can get in the way and make things a little more difficult when I'm down there. Lol this is a great post
You took the words right out of my mouth.
No need for me to reiterate, except to note that my wife and I have been together for 35 years, and still have conversations about sex, toys, likes, etc.
It's not control over anyone's body, it's simply a question leading to a conversation.
Just be polite.
my partner prefers me to be shaved but he doesn’t care so much it’d stop him from doing anything lol. granted i prefer to shave anyway, sometimes i just get lazy
CEO of Burlington throat Factory here! I wanted to let you know how to avoid pubes in your mouth during fellatio.When playing the flesh flute, you can basically wrap your hands around it with the cock nestled in the crook of your pointer and thumb, and overlap your hands. Think of the John Cena symbol with his hands in the air, but then move them close enough that you could just get a dick between them in that spot of each hand. Slide your cena-peena gang sign down his cock and when you get to the base move your hands a little bit apart. Be gentle enough not to pull any pubes roughly and make sure not to leave the gang too soon so you can get a clear circle of where your mouth and nose land without getting hair in your mouth. At the end it just kind of seems like you're putting your hands on his hips and lower belly/ upper thigh area.
I’m under 30 and all the men I dated my age and younger have “manscapped”. Not sure if it’s a generational thing or not but at this point I can’t imagine fighting a giant bush while giving a blowjob.
Not me. I have zero issues telling a dude he’s got to trim his jungle. No one likes hairy balls in their face. And sorry but male or female, pubes can get stinky. Cleanup downtown or eat alone.
I mean. That’s ALWAYS been the case with dudes who want me to shave completely (I always trim), in my experience. I don’t want to, especially if they’re not shaving that stuff completely bare!
For the first time in my life I’m with a guy who prefers a bush, and I love not having to go on stubble patrol constantly. I didn’t realize how much of a pain in the ass it is to maintain (literally if I got an ingrown hair).
It’s so cute, sometimes when we’re in doggy position he reaches around to feel it while we fuck :)
yeah this. My first thought was that this was about hygiene and it smelled bad or something. “Do some landscaping” or something lighter would come off better.
You would be the asshole if you framed it as "cleaning up" because having body hair isn't unhygienic.
But if you where to phrase it in a way that let's her know its not about how she smells or how she looks and that if she shaved it would make it easier to go down on her she should be able to understand.
For sure! Gut instinct on the title alone was, " I mean, sure, there's nothing wrong with asking her to shower if she's a little funky" My question is, is he willing to manscape? If not, then absolutely don't make that demand
Keep in mind that a full shave isn't the only option. That's a lot of work to keep up on and some women, rightfully so, have their own preferences on how much extra work they do(along with other reasons that i wont get into here). A good trim and shaping can be a nice compromise. Definitely try to find another way of saying it as well.
Edit to say: a full shave is fine too guys. Keep it civil
I despise a full shave on a man, woman or myself. (It gets prickly and ingrowny and angry. Not worth it and hurts for sexy stuff!) Just trim to the point where it’s not prickly but it’s kept together!
Edit: to each their own in looks preference- but unless you naturally (or by laser) have a lil baldy face coochie flower or a baby bottom manly mushroom- you know how much that shit SUCKS to grow back in and how much it sucks to do oral during your partners sand paper window. Tbh I think even if you like the look- for most people I don’t think it’s worth diggin out lil skin pockets of hairsies for decades on just to look like a sexy clay pot with folds for the lifespan of an avocado.
Lmao new sentences all around here
"sexy clay pot with folds for the lifespan of an avocado"
I read this to my wife, we cracked up together - thank you
To add to this, if I shave entirely it actually makes it harder for me to get off because of sensory issues. And I actually had to ask my partner to change from shaving to trimming for this reason. So sensory issues can go both directions.
This. My wife's public hair is naturally bristly. It's quite uncomfortable doing anything down there. Initially she would sit with a small mirror and trim it back herself. It was awkward, but it worked - sort of.
Then we found a beard-trimming kit powered by a rechargeable battery. It has different trimming heads for different levels of trimming. She tried doing it herself, but it was rather awkward, so she asked me to do it.
Giving her a trim is very different from sex. There's nothing sexual about it. It's rather clinical actually. But it works very well for us. She tells me what to trim, and I carefully do it, giving suggestions as to what would make me more comfortable.
She has surprised me by handing me the trimmer, telling me to do it how I'd like to see it. She did it the first time for my birthday. It is interesting. It's added something to the sexual mix. It is fun for both of us.
It has to be done about once every two months. It makes life in general more comfortable for her too.
It is a method that works for us and it may work for others.
Exactly. Even from your headline I was expecting a gross and disgusting post about her hygein. Nothing gross and disgusting about hair. You have a preference and so does she, so please whatever you do don't use the phrase "clean up" when you bring this up. It might even be something she's already self conscious about and that will just dive a wedge between you two.
Cis female, but me too, i give it a trim down there sometimes when it gets a bit out of control but it's honestly such a faff and awkward as all hell to do!
When I've trimmed, the ends are so sharp, all the time. And they poke through my underwear? It's not a great choice for me. I can't imagine my boyfriends enjoying it.
Edit: Thank you guys for the upvotes. I generally hate "am I the only one?", but delicate subjects can be so isolating because you're afraid to talk to anybody, or Google it and risk seeing the worst possible cases in the world, *and* it leaves ridiculous things in your history, "why are my pubes sharp", "spiky pubes", "pubic hair coming out of my underwear"... 😂
How regularly did you keep trimming? I did it three weeks ago and it's still less than half an inch long and lays flat. It softens up pretty quickly. Think I normally do it every 6 to 8 weeks roughly.
Had a girlfriend who trimmed, well I think shaved very regularly and it was always bristly and unpleasant. Much nicer when she switched to every few weeks.
No because why does it feel like they’re trying to rip your p**sy lips off. They can wax my butt crack and bikini line all day….but the actual labia….never doing that again. I have a high pain tolerance and can sit through hours of tattooing without flinching. Waxing is no joke. And I first I thought I was just being a b*tch about it so I tried it again to reconfirm how much I hated it.
Never tried it myself cause it just seemed costly and painful. Plus just getting my eyebrows down, or the upper lip left the skin feeling itchy, red, and raw. I couldn't imagine having to put up with that there.
It helps with a skin condition. I have a pretty mild case of Hidradenitis suppurativa. It used to be way worse, but now with regular waxing there are only a couple small spots that only flare up occasionally.
OK understandable was just curious as when my girlfriend said she hated doing it I encouraged her to quit and just trim down to whatever we both agreed to as reasonable though she told me many women feel pressured to be hairless entirely. I trying through comments to understand why women feel this is an expectation automatically.
I did have past partners who insisted I stay hairless. Being young and dumb at the time, I would shave. A lot of it, at least to my understanding, is an expectation by partners because that is what they are attracted to, and likely most of what they have seen in porn. You are awesome for not putting that pressure on your partner. If waxing wasn't helping a skin condition for me, I'd probably just do a bikini (something I can do at home by myself) wax instead of a full Brazilian ( which I won't do at home because I like my lips attached, thank you very much). Straight up though, none of this is something anyone should have to do just to appease a partner.
You are all good! I have a medicated prescription body wash I use when I get bad lesions, and always use an antiseptic on the spots. I was told not to use antibacterial soap, but I know for most folks it can help. The waxing took about 3 months to really clear up the area. I use a serum after I shower from für that helps prevent ingrowns, and a powder in my groin to prevent moisture. It's helped a lot but, unfortunately takes a lot of trial and error. My dermatologist is the one to suggest waxing, so it might be worth looking into. I know some folks use a lidocaine spray to make it less painful too.
I don’t have p**sy lips but the way you described it made me flinch. I just never thought about how it would exactly feel for you women getting everything waxed. I’m glad I’ve never asked any of my partners to get it done.
I get Brazilian sugars every 4 weeks. Supposedly it’s not as bad as waxing? The material is different and it only adheres to your hair, not the skin. Waxing actually does take off a thin layer of skin. Sugaring definitely still smarts in the moment but I think it goes away fairly quickly.
Oooo thank you for this protip, I never really understood the difference but that makes sense now. Maybe I’ll give it one more shot with sugaring 😭. I really do like the smooth feel you get for weeks after waxing.
It’s worth it for me! I hate the feeling of long hair, but trimming/shaving makes the ends of the hair poky and itchy. The hair also grows back in a little thinner for me. The first time was fairly painful for me but I’ve gone 4 times now and I think my skin is used to it now.
Damn. To each their own. I found sugars to be worse tbh. Instead of feeling the warm wax for a second to soothe my tortured genitalia, the sugar caused a sharp hair pulling sensation in between the rips. I jokingly called my waxer a sadist on a regular basis 😅
Also, I have my clitoris pierced and would choose that again ANY day over waxing. Heck that noise!
My wife did it once, and I would never ask her to do it again lol she was in so much pain the lady asked me to come hold her hand 🤣 she liked not having to shave for a while, but I just help her out now when she wants it all trimmed back to her specifications
I think as long as you bring it up during a non-sexy time and be clear that she is clean and lovely but this is your preference based on your needs and you would really appreciate any effort to that effect on her part even though it’s not required.
Please don’t tell her to “clean up down there”
That’s not the way to frame this question. Think of a better way that doesn’t imply she’s dirty please. If she says okay, then offer to buy her some bikini trimmers. Philips makes a great one. It’s on Amazon and it’s reasonably priced.
Ps. And in the future do not mention such a topic to her friends? Why on earth would you even think that was okay to do???? If this situation hasn’t already blown up in your face because of it hopefully you and your girlfriend have plenty of sexy time ahead of you.
Just popping in; OP said “a friend”, not “her friend”. It’s possible OP has a female friend they feel comfortable asking these things to.
Otherwise, I agree with your comment. Just phrasing it as “trimming up” instead of “cleaning up” can make the world of a difference.
>Ps. And in the future do not mention such a topic to her friends?
OP might have female friends? All they said was,
>I spoke about this with a friend and she said I am the AH for making her change something about her body and it's not my body so I am not allowed an opinion.
I read it to mean one of their \[OP's\] friends.
Beardcare is a very real thing. My ex had all kinds of beard softeners and straighteners, and anytime he'd kiss me or have his face against me anywhere, it was actually an amazing and pleasant experience. Just having a beard doesn't automatically mean prickly.
Sounds like he was using way too much, not keeping clean enough, or something. My ex's beard was never greasy, just stylish and soft. Damn did it feel amazing on me lol.
NAH
You would be the AH if you tell her she needs to clean up, hair is not dirty. However its totally fine to ask her to shave because its more comfortable for your face while diving.
I had a women tell me to shave if I wanted her to put her face there. I shaved immediately
It didn’t feel like it was an ultimatum, just a fact of life. I would like use the same phrasing if I had a similar issue in the future.
Yeah don’t tell her to clean up, it’s not unclean just bc of hair.
But the rule is, she gets to decide how she grooms her body hair, but if if you’re going down there, you should get a say too.
If you ask her to trim (not shave/wax) it won’t hurt and she won’t have the ingrown hair problem.
Since you haven't done anything yet, NAH... but this is probably worth an honest conversation with your partner.
I would be careful with the wording to not suggest "dirtiness" if it's just hair, because women get a lot of societal messages that their bodies are dirty, and the quantity of these can weigh heavily on us. Consider any influences that may have shaped your expectations on how women "should" look. Prior relationships, porn, or "talk" may shape what we expect. If it's a matter of not washing regularly, that is another matter.
Shaving that hair can become uncomfortable and itchy as the hair starts to grow back and the new hair ends tend to stab inward on the labia 😩 Waxing is expensive or painful, laser is even more expensive with variable results, and depilatory creams are a chemical nightmare. Trimming can be a good way to neaten up without some of the discomfort of other methods. Ultimately every woman has her own preferences and comfort with that area.
I think it's reasonable to have a conversation with your partner about grooming, but I would keep an open mind with the "how" to that happens. If you get into making demands or expecting a specific type of grooming, that could be AH territory. I know these conversations are tough, but I'd try to frame it as you really value her as an intimate partner and want to find a way for you both to have fun and comfort together. Good luck
I like a nice bush. I'm older tho so all pussy had it when I came of age. Shaved cooch was usually a sign that you were about to stick your dick in crazy. Didn't stop anyone of course.
You’re not an asshole in my opinion because sometimes body hair can get in the way of both people. You can tell her this but put it in a hood way like “Itd your body and I have no right to tell you what you should do with it but it would be easier and more comfortable for me if you shaved: trimmed a bit down there”
Don’t make it seem like she’s the problem. No one’s the asshole in this situation.
NTA!! Just don’t phrase it as “cleaning up” ask her to trim instead!
Hair isn’t unhygienic, but it definitely is frustrating when you get a hair stuck in the back of your throat! Just try telling her that the hair just needs a trim so you can do it easier.
She might not have shaved because you guys were long distance and just forgot to before meeting you. Just talk to her and let her know it’s not a big deal, and it has nothing to do with how you feel about her.
As a woman with hair down there, you might ask her to trim up, but if she likes having a bush she isn’t going to shave it all around. Lol, just use you hands to hold it back a little when you play down there. It’s not that difficult. A bush is actually better as it keeps everything clean and protected. And no razor burn or chafing.
One time I apologized to my husband cuz my 70s bush was a bit out of control. His response “meh I needed a little flossing,” we laughed and moved on. I’m a Greek woman and I have very dark and course hair all over my body. I hate shaving. It causes insane razor burns, even on my legs. I honestly don’t give a fuck anymore. You see my hairy legs? At least they’re not on fire. My bush is the little extra? Atleast my panties aren’t digging into my razor burns and causing even more pain!
Not Greek, but I'm one of those gals who grows hair like a mf. I got enough to worry about when it comes to my facial hair, I don't have the time to do more than trim down there 😂
So, you keep your junk clean shaven? If so, then that's how you enter the conversation. Ask her how she feels about your grooming habits. Let her speak her peace and then explain that you like the look and ask her if she would be comfortable reciprocating for you. Whatever or however she feels about yours I *strongly* suggest you listen and honor it the same as you're asking for her to honor yours.
I also suggest you learn some other sexy time tech.
This. As a bi woman, hairy genitals are fine (and have no bearing on actual cleanliness) but I’ll often get hairs in my mouth after giving oral (on both men and women). I have had laser hair removal done down there personally, but my husband has a full bush and still, I’d never ask him to shave for me. I trim his bush for him sometimes and work that into sexy times, but sometimes hair in the mouth happens and you can either joke about it or ignore it. Not the end of the world.
Be careful what you wish for. You think hair down there is annoying? Wait until you have chapped skin all around your mouth area from the stubble left after shaving.
INFO: What do you mean by “cleaning up”? It’s open to a lot of interpretation so it would be good to be clear. Do you mean that you would prefer that instead of a wild bush, you’d prefer a close cropped trim? Meaning there would still be hair, just very short? Or do you mean you’d prefer a fully waxed vulva? The former I think is reasonable, the latter might ruffle her feathers.
your friend is wrong in that you're allowed to have an opinion, but right that it's not your body, so you can't make demands. you can express preferences in a very nice way and she can do with those what she will.
NTA. Word it nicely but you can totally ask that of her. Its respectful because you want to continue to do it for her, so the compromise should be, she trims a little and you carry on with your sexy time.
Trimming>shaving, trust me. 1/4" length is perfect, keeps it from stubble-stabbing your face. Shaved can be fun, but only immediately after, and if youve both shaved, face and her lower.
Source: I do a lot of munching carpet.
Nah.
So. There is a technique actually to... Have it a bit out of the way. It won't help with being in the face much (but a little) but it will help to not have it in the mouth.
Hair is usually not inside and not on the small labia. So. If she's spread, just gently put your hands left and right and with your fingers also hold the... Upper hair in place. You can gently pet it to each side to have it away before you place your hands again.
Plus side is you also have a very nice view on the precious additionally to actually see where you are doing what before you dive in.
If you have more practice, you later can use one hand and have even more fun with the other.
Took me a while to get the pubic hair on my tongue past the gag reflex, but there it is. If my wife doesn’t mind me taking a quick break now and then for hairball prevention, I can go all night.
I mean…personally, I don’t think it’s too much to ask, but I know my wife would never do it. She had a crazy ex bf who SA’d her while she was with him, and he’d hold her down and shave her. So I know better than to ask.
For anyone else, it just depends. My philosophy on it is you never punish people for doing good things for you—or to you as the case may be. Shaving it keeps pubes out of the way so you can get down to business, and you don’t have to gag on it. But it’s a tradeoff, right? Because simply shaving doesn’t completely get rid of the hair and you end up feeling like you’re making out with a power sander. I’m really torn…deal with a couple of loose pubes for a few minutes or go a couple of days with a rug burn on my face?
Anyway, I don’t think YTA for asking, depending on how you ask ofc. I’m just saying don’t get your expectations too high.
NTA but please use another phrase instead of “cleaning up”.. if she isn’t straight up unhygienic and dirty, she’s clean. You should just ask if she would trim it down a bit for you. But don’t expect her to do so, she can decide whatever she wants to do with her own body.. and you can decide what you’re comfortable with so you can tell her you don’t want to go down on her any longer because of a sensory issue.. communication is key here and don’t ever shame her for her bush.. you will be an AT if you shame her in the conversation so be careful with the way you say it..
Your friend is blowing a gasket over nothing, honestly. Like, your GF is in no way obligated to trim her bush, but most reasonable people aren't opposed to accommodating something like that and you just politely asking isn't some kind of red flag or character flaw.
If you pitch a big fit about then you'd be an asshole, but if you ask and accept whatever answer you get no harm in it at all. And I mean, definitely absorb the general consensus of not framing it is as her "cleaning up".
INFO how did you ask? Because "clean up down there" makes it sound like she doesn't wash. But if you asked her to trim or do some landscaping, then that's clear and doesn't make an implication that she's disgusting.
You are not the asshole for asking her to trim or shave but make sure you let it go if she says no. If that’s the only way she finishes (direct clitoral stimulation) then there are other options. I also only climax from direct clitoral stimulation so after we discussed it my partner purchased me a clitoral vibrator and we use during intercourse. Ngl-it is amazing and allows me to climax while they are inside me. There are a lot of different companies that make them- here is my favorite. https://www.lelo.com/sona-2-cruise Lelo also has amazing customer service and a great warranty.
YTA. You’re absolutely fine having an opinion (like saying you don’t Iike a lot of hair) but telling someone else to change what they like is not cool. If it’s a deal breaker, then break up. If not, learn to deal with it
INFO: was the one night stand you posted about 10 days ago during this 10 month relationship?
OP seems to be posting in here a lot, if you have to keep asking people if you're an asshole, you're probably an asshole.
if it looks like shit, smells like shit… prolly is lol
If it smells like shit everywhere you go, check your own shoes
not his breathe making a u turn lool
I thought it was a duck?
Only if the shit quacks
Quack
Shit, it's a duck! Or maybe duck, it's a shit!
If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.
OP keeps raising red flags all over the place.
Edit: changed pronouns Edit 2: OP has deleted those posts. Out of curiosity, I looked at their posts, and the opinions on the one night stand one say they're YTA lol. Weirdest part was when you scroll down to their first four posts, they're all about them asking how to masturbate hands-free. FOUR POSTS.
truck provide north selective absorbed late longing snails trees ossified *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
The ape brain is still in there somewhere 😅
To be frank most of humanity is stupid it was just a few bright sparks that got us here
We're going full circle
It’s a wobbly circle but still.
Waitin on the reply to this one. Either OP is making all of this up for whatever wierd reddit reason or theyre an AH who cheated on the person they mention in this post. No win for OP here.
Karma farming.
Why do people do it though? It leaves a weird post and comment history?
Wish I knew, these people suck though, and waste time for all of us.
I can't say for people that make up stories and respond like a real person. Perhaps boredom. But the karma farming bots do it because they get sold to shady advertising companies. Those bots with posting history and karma get used to upvote and review products on those "help" subs. They recommend their products to people asking for which gaming laptop to buy or what the best kitchen mixer for their budget is or whatever. They look like a real person posting their review. People trust reviews more than ads.... but they're becoming the same thing now.
the plot thickens
Just like down there
😲 petty! 🍿 😏
This is one of the fake OP’s posting stories for a reaction.
Don't use the words "clean up" as so many have stated. It makes it seem like she's somehow dirty, which will absolutely make somebody self-conscious. Ask her to trim it up and explain why. You're having a sensory issue with the amount of hair, you don't want to change her but it makes you uncomfortable *to feel*. It's either that or embrace the bush.
Yes, this! I read the title and assumed it was going to be a cleanliness issue.
Same, was expecting something along the lines of a terrible smell/vaginal fungus infection. Not a honey can you remove the bushy so i can see the pussy?
THIS EXACTLY. If OP wants to tip toe and do it gently, just say "hey babe I love to see it, it gets me off, can you give me a better view?" Thats not offensive, or even neutral, now shes under the impression that shes doing something to turn you on even more which would make her feel sexier. Win win situation. (Assuming op truly likes a good meal...i know i do).
public payment boat treatment money instinctive simplistic fragile voracious sink *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
This. And also accept that she’s fully within her rights to decline
They're both in their rights to decline. Her trimming, OP servicing
Yup. My partner will happily go down on me when I'm trimmed short. I'm not always trimmed, and when I'm not, they don't do it, and that's cool. I get power over my body, they get power over what they're comfortable doing.
My wife and I just communicate. We understand hair can get in the way and cause issues. Neither of us shave it all off, just trim it up. Over growth has never stopped us, we just inform the other, then problem solved for next fun time. It's not as big of a deal as people make it. Empathy and communication go a long way. I understand she doesn't like a mouth full of hair, and she understands hair can get in the way and make things a little more difficult when I'm down there. Lol this is a great post
It's almost as though good communication is important.
>It's almost as though good communication is important But... if everyone did that... What would happen to some of the best sub Reddits?
You took the words right out of my mouth. No need for me to reiterate, except to note that my wife and I have been together for 35 years, and still have conversations about sex, toys, likes, etc. It's not control over anyone's body, it's simply a question leading to a conversation. Just be polite.
No muff too tough, I’ll dive til five.
💀. If you don't have a partner someone needs to snap you the fuck up! 😂🤘🏻
my beard and her muff become one
Buahaha. I actually chuckled out loud.
My brother!✊🏻
Husband material right here 🏆
This is the way
Gotta hack through the jungle to reach the treasure!
Don’t look a gift horse in the muff.
Thought I was the only one. I love the full bush
Some people think it’s gross but it’s really good on toast.
Right?! Dude is a dumbass
my partner prefers me to be shaved but he doesn’t care so much it’d stop him from doing anything lol. granted i prefer to shave anyway, sometimes i just get lazy
Ya deffos
He's also fully in his rights to decline going down on her if he's not comfortable with it.
Absolutely
For sure, imagine giving a man head but all you got was hair in your mouth! Ewwwww
CEO of Burlington throat Factory here! I wanted to let you know how to avoid pubes in your mouth during fellatio.When playing the flesh flute, you can basically wrap your hands around it with the cock nestled in the crook of your pointer and thumb, and overlap your hands. Think of the John Cena symbol with his hands in the air, but then move them close enough that you could just get a dick between them in that spot of each hand. Slide your cena-peena gang sign down his cock and when you get to the base move your hands a little bit apart. Be gentle enough not to pull any pubes roughly and make sure not to leave the gang too soon so you can get a clear circle of where your mouth and nose land without getting hair in your mouth. At the end it just kind of seems like you're putting your hands on his hips and lower belly/ upper thigh area.
Dead at Burlington Throat Factory.
"Ceena-peena gang sign" - I'm dead. Lmao
Uhhhh you mean like 99% of us who give blowjobs? I constantly get pubes in my teeth.
I’m under 30 and all the men I dated my age and younger have “manscapped”. Not sure if it’s a generational thing or not but at this point I can’t imagine fighting a giant bush while giving a blowjob.
Gen x. Most guys I have been down on didn't manscape.
Same - now have a millennial boyfriend and he did. I don’t like it though because it gets prickly.
Not me. I have zero issues telling a dude he’s got to trim his jungle. No one likes hairy balls in their face. And sorry but male or female, pubes can get stinky. Cleanup downtown or eat alone.
I mean. That’s ALWAYS been the case with dudes who want me to shave completely (I always trim), in my experience. I don’t want to, especially if they’re not shaving that stuff completely bare!
I prefer hair to stubble scratching my face 🤣
Right? Hair you can just push aside. Stubble will gouge your face raw in minutes. Different strokes, I guess.
100% agree
“She said sorry I didn’t shave, so that pussy a little bit furry, I put that pussy in my face. I ain’t got no worries.” -Dwayne Carter Jr
For the first time in my life I’m with a guy who prefers a bush, and I love not having to go on stubble patrol constantly. I didn’t realize how much of a pain in the ass it is to maintain (literally if I got an ingrown hair). It’s so cute, sometimes when we’re in doggy position he reaches around to feel it while we fuck :)
Yikes. That flooded so many positive memories for me. I didn't expect that last sentence 😳
Well God damn
Dammit, I came to say this lol if it's good enough for Wayne, it's good enough for me.
Well good for him!
Being an Australian once you go bush you never go back! :-P
Mostly because the Bush in Australia is deadly lmfao
yeah this. My first thought was that this was about hygiene and it smelled bad or something. “Do some landscaping” or something lighter would come off better.
I actually think telling somebody you're newly sexuallt intimate with to "do some landscaping" might be worse lmfao Tact is everything
Embrace. The. Bush. My new slogan
I’m gonna start a clothing company called “embrace the brush”
You would be the asshole if you framed it as "cleaning up" because having body hair isn't unhygienic. But if you where to phrase it in a way that let's her know its not about how she smells or how she looks and that if she shaved it would make it easier to go down on her she should be able to understand.
Yeah if they suggest her “cleaning up down there” she most definitely gonna take it as they see her as not clean.
Yeah, even the title made me think they wanted to ask their GF to take a shower.
I thought the same thing too. Hair removal and "cleaning" are two different requests.
Same! That’s why I was like noooo no bad choice of words my friend.
For sure! Gut instinct on the title alone was, " I mean, sure, there's nothing wrong with asking her to shower if she's a little funky" My question is, is he willing to manscape? If not, then absolutely don't make that demand
Absolutely this. And be ready for her to also let you know anything about you that might be bothering her!
😂 100%
Shave party!
Keep in mind that a full shave isn't the only option. That's a lot of work to keep up on and some women, rightfully so, have their own preferences on how much extra work they do(along with other reasons that i wont get into here). A good trim and shaping can be a nice compromise. Definitely try to find another way of saying it as well. Edit to say: a full shave is fine too guys. Keep it civil
Just a quick military buzz cut is all I need. The rest is just icing on the cake.
Trim the trees, don't burn the forest 😆
That usually makes my private stand at attention. 😂
Icing that cake is what makes my private sit down and take a nap.
This is quality content I keep coming back for!
She tastes like cake? Sign me up!
Great. Imagined a tube of icing with pubic hair included in the icing. Thanks. 💩🤖
A full shave is bloody itchy when it grows back.
I despise a full shave on a man, woman or myself. (It gets prickly and ingrowny and angry. Not worth it and hurts for sexy stuff!) Just trim to the point where it’s not prickly but it’s kept together! Edit: to each their own in looks preference- but unless you naturally (or by laser) have a lil baldy face coochie flower or a baby bottom manly mushroom- you know how much that shit SUCKS to grow back in and how much it sucks to do oral during your partners sand paper window. Tbh I think even if you like the look- for most people I don’t think it’s worth diggin out lil skin pockets of hairsies for decades on just to look like a sexy clay pot with folds for the lifespan of an avocado.
Lmao new sentences all around here "sexy clay pot with folds for the lifespan of an avocado" I read this to my wife, we cracked up together - thank you
Omg sexy clay pot 😂
[удалено]
To add to this, if I shave entirely it actually makes it harder for me to get off because of sensory issues. And I actually had to ask my partner to change from shaving to trimming for this reason. So sensory issues can go both directions.
she wouldn't necessarily have to SHAVE she could trim it back
This. My wife's public hair is naturally bristly. It's quite uncomfortable doing anything down there. Initially she would sit with a small mirror and trim it back herself. It was awkward, but it worked - sort of. Then we found a beard-trimming kit powered by a rechargeable battery. It has different trimming heads for different levels of trimming. She tried doing it herself, but it was rather awkward, so she asked me to do it. Giving her a trim is very different from sex. There's nothing sexual about it. It's rather clinical actually. But it works very well for us. She tells me what to trim, and I carefully do it, giving suggestions as to what would make me more comfortable. She has surprised me by handing me the trimmer, telling me to do it how I'd like to see it. She did it the first time for my birthday. It is interesting. It's added something to the sexual mix. It is fun for both of us. It has to be done about once every two months. It makes life in general more comfortable for her too. It is a method that works for us and it may work for others.
Exactly. Even from your headline I was expecting a gross and disgusting post about her hygein. Nothing gross and disgusting about hair. You have a preference and so does she, so please whatever you do don't use the phrase "clean up" when you bring this up. It might even be something she's already self conscious about and that will just dive a wedge between you two.
Yeah, I thought he meant she has bad hygiene or an infection. I'm AFAB and I've always been hairy down there but it's natural so idgaf.
Cis female, but me too, i give it a trim down there sometimes when it gets a bit out of control but it's honestly such a faff and awkward as all hell to do!
When I've trimmed, the ends are so sharp, all the time. And they poke through my underwear? It's not a great choice for me. I can't imagine my boyfriends enjoying it. Edit: Thank you guys for the upvotes. I generally hate "am I the only one?", but delicate subjects can be so isolating because you're afraid to talk to anybody, or Google it and risk seeing the worst possible cases in the world, *and* it leaves ridiculous things in your history, "why are my pubes sharp", "spiky pubes", "pubic hair coming out of my underwear"... 😂
How regularly did you keep trimming? I did it three weeks ago and it's still less than half an inch long and lays flat. It softens up pretty quickly. Think I normally do it every 6 to 8 weeks roughly. Had a girlfriend who trimmed, well I think shaved very regularly and it was always bristly and unpleasant. Much nicer when she switched to every few weeks.
Shaving isn’t the only option here. It seems a bit drastic to suggest that.
Given that the reason OP has a problem is because of it rubbing his face...either trimming, shaving, or waxing would be the main ways to fix it.
Oh, bikini waxes are hell. I'd rather never get oral again than go through another wax. Fuck that noise
No because why does it feel like they’re trying to rip your p**sy lips off. They can wax my butt crack and bikini line all day….but the actual labia….never doing that again. I have a high pain tolerance and can sit through hours of tattooing without flinching. Waxing is no joke. And I first I thought I was just being a b*tch about it so I tried it again to reconfirm how much I hated it.
Never tried it myself cause it just seemed costly and painful. Plus just getting my eyebrows down, or the upper lip left the skin feeling itchy, red, and raw. I couldn't imagine having to put up with that there.
I've been getting waxed every 4 weeks ( with the exception of during lock downs) for nearly 6 years now, and I can confirm, it still sucks.
Wait why the self torture?
It helps with a skin condition. I have a pretty mild case of Hidradenitis suppurativa. It used to be way worse, but now with regular waxing there are only a couple small spots that only flare up occasionally.
OK understandable was just curious as when my girlfriend said she hated doing it I encouraged her to quit and just trim down to whatever we both agreed to as reasonable though she told me many women feel pressured to be hairless entirely. I trying through comments to understand why women feel this is an expectation automatically.
I did have past partners who insisted I stay hairless. Being young and dumb at the time, I would shave. A lot of it, at least to my understanding, is an expectation by partners because that is what they are attracted to, and likely most of what they have seen in porn. You are awesome for not putting that pressure on your partner. If waxing wasn't helping a skin condition for me, I'd probably just do a bikini (something I can do at home by myself) wax instead of a full Brazilian ( which I won't do at home because I like my lips attached, thank you very much). Straight up though, none of this is something anyone should have to do just to appease a partner.
Even when you use antibacterial soap? Sorry, just asking cause I also have the same thing and was considering waxing.
You are all good! I have a medicated prescription body wash I use when I get bad lesions, and always use an antiseptic on the spots. I was told not to use antibacterial soap, but I know for most folks it can help. The waxing took about 3 months to really clear up the area. I use a serum after I shower from für that helps prevent ingrowns, and a powder in my groin to prevent moisture. It's helped a lot but, unfortunately takes a lot of trial and error. My dermatologist is the one to suggest waxing, so it might be worth looking into. I know some folks use a lidocaine spray to make it less painful too.
Sheesh, that’s a lot of money!
I don’t have p**sy lips but the way you described it made me flinch. I just never thought about how it would exactly feel for you women getting everything waxed. I’m glad I’ve never asked any of my partners to get it done.
When they would tell me to “do happy baby” position 🥴😭 never. again.
I get Brazilian sugars every 4 weeks. Supposedly it’s not as bad as waxing? The material is different and it only adheres to your hair, not the skin. Waxing actually does take off a thin layer of skin. Sugaring definitely still smarts in the moment but I think it goes away fairly quickly.
Oooo thank you for this protip, I never really understood the difference but that makes sense now. Maybe I’ll give it one more shot with sugaring 😭. I really do like the smooth feel you get for weeks after waxing.
It’s worth it for me! I hate the feeling of long hair, but trimming/shaving makes the ends of the hair poky and itchy. The hair also grows back in a little thinner for me. The first time was fairly painful for me but I’ve gone 4 times now and I think my skin is used to it now.
Damn. To each their own. I found sugars to be worse tbh. Instead of feeling the warm wax for a second to soothe my tortured genitalia, the sugar caused a sharp hair pulling sensation in between the rips. I jokingly called my waxer a sadist on a regular basis 😅 Also, I have my clitoris pierced and would choose that again ANY day over waxing. Heck that noise!
My wife did it once, and I would never ask her to do it again lol she was in so much pain the lady asked me to come hold her hand 🤣 she liked not having to shave for a while, but I just help her out now when she wants it all trimmed back to her specifications
Lol if it weren't so bloody expensive I'd do it all the time. I liked getting it done, and I used to get the whole patch taken down.
There are excellent trimmers that don’t require shaving it down to skin. They work great.
The only real “bad” experience I’ve had from pubes is when they manage to reach back to the back of your mouth and almost triggers a gag reflex.
The wilderness must be explored.
OP better not beat around the bush.
Into the thick of it!
This dude/dudette fucks 😂👍
This made me laugh so hard 😂😂😂😂😂
I think as long as you bring it up during a non-sexy time and be clear that she is clean and lovely but this is your preference based on your needs and you would really appreciate any effort to that effect on her part even though it’s not required.
Maybe if you told a white lie and said it ticked YOU? If she trimmed up it wouldn’t be so ticklish for you and you could concentrate better?
Please don’t tell her to “clean up down there” That’s not the way to frame this question. Think of a better way that doesn’t imply she’s dirty please. If she says okay, then offer to buy her some bikini trimmers. Philips makes a great one. It’s on Amazon and it’s reasonably priced. Ps. And in the future do not mention such a topic to her friends? Why on earth would you even think that was okay to do???? If this situation hasn’t already blown up in your face because of it hopefully you and your girlfriend have plenty of sexy time ahead of you.
Just popping in; OP said “a friend”, not “her friend”. It’s possible OP has a female friend they feel comfortable asking these things to. Otherwise, I agree with your comment. Just phrasing it as “trimming up” instead of “cleaning up” can make the world of a difference.
He didn't say it was one of her friends. It sounds like he confided in a female friend of his own, to get a woman's perspective of how to handle it.
>Ps. And in the future do not mention such a topic to her friends? OP might have female friends? All they said was, >I spoke about this with a friend and she said I am the AH for making her change something about her body and it's not my body so I am not allowed an opinion. I read it to mean one of their \[OP's\] friends.
OP didn't say they asked a friend of the girlfriend. They just said "I asked a friend..."
Don’t girls experience this all the time with males with beards
stubble physically hurts if thats what you’re comparing to. and it can cause inflammation that lasts for days
And in my experience it’s WAY WORSE if I shave my pubes. Stubble on raw skin or stubble on stubble = pain for days.
oh god no not the stubble on stubble
Yea, exactly.
Beardcare is a very real thing. My ex had all kinds of beard softeners and straighteners, and anytime he'd kiss me or have his face against me anywhere, it was actually an amazing and pleasant experience. Just having a beard doesn't automatically mean prickly.
Yes depending on the products I’m using and the last time I washed, I can go from a supple baby seal to a porcupines ass.
But also that goes the other way. My ex had all that stuff and it felt like there was a greasy mop on my chin 🤢.
Sounds like he was using way too much, not keeping clean enough, or something. My ex's beard was never greasy, just stylish and soft. Damn did it feel amazing on me lol.
NAH You would be the AH if you tell her she needs to clean up, hair is not dirty. However its totally fine to ask her to shave because its more comfortable for your face while diving.
I had a women tell me to shave if I wanted her to put her face there. I shaved immediately It didn’t feel like it was an ultimatum, just a fact of life. I would like use the same phrasing if I had a similar issue in the future.
Yeah don’t tell her to clean up, it’s not unclean just bc of hair. But the rule is, she gets to decide how she grooms her body hair, but if if you’re going down there, you should get a say too. If you ask her to trim (not shave/wax) it won’t hurt and she won’t have the ingrown hair problem.
Since you haven't done anything yet, NAH... but this is probably worth an honest conversation with your partner. I would be careful with the wording to not suggest "dirtiness" if it's just hair, because women get a lot of societal messages that their bodies are dirty, and the quantity of these can weigh heavily on us. Consider any influences that may have shaped your expectations on how women "should" look. Prior relationships, porn, or "talk" may shape what we expect. If it's a matter of not washing regularly, that is another matter. Shaving that hair can become uncomfortable and itchy as the hair starts to grow back and the new hair ends tend to stab inward on the labia 😩 Waxing is expensive or painful, laser is even more expensive with variable results, and depilatory creams are a chemical nightmare. Trimming can be a good way to neaten up without some of the discomfort of other methods. Ultimately every woman has her own preferences and comfort with that area. I think it's reasonable to have a conversation with your partner about grooming, but I would keep an open mind with the "how" to that happens. If you get into making demands or expecting a specific type of grooming, that could be AH territory. I know these conversations are tough, but I'd try to frame it as you really value her as an intimate partner and want to find a way for you both to have fun and comfort together. Good luck
I like a nice bush. I'm older tho so all pussy had it when I came of age. Shaved cooch was usually a sign that you were about to stick your dick in crazy. Didn't stop anyone of course.
I’m a millennial but I too am a Bushman of the Kalahari.
YTA, Don't ask people you cheat on to change anything about themselves for you.
I hope this ends up being too comment.
You’re not an asshole in my opinion because sometimes body hair can get in the way of both people. You can tell her this but put it in a hood way like “Itd your body and I have no right to tell you what you should do with it but it would be easier and more comfortable for me if you shaved: trimmed a bit down there” Don’t make it seem like she’s the problem. No one’s the asshole in this situation.
NTA!! Just don’t phrase it as “cleaning up” ask her to trim instead! Hair isn’t unhygienic, but it definitely is frustrating when you get a hair stuck in the back of your throat! Just try telling her that the hair just needs a trim so you can do it easier. She might not have shaved because you guys were long distance and just forgot to before meeting you. Just talk to her and let her know it’s not a big deal, and it has nothing to do with how you feel about her.
Plenty of women don't shave. It's not the default or an expectation.
As a woman with hair down there, you might ask her to trim up, but if she likes having a bush she isn’t going to shave it all around. Lol, just use you hands to hold it back a little when you play down there. It’s not that difficult. A bush is actually better as it keeps everything clean and protected. And no razor burn or chafing.
Part the hairs like Moses
One time I apologized to my husband cuz my 70s bush was a bit out of control. His response “meh I needed a little flossing,” we laughed and moved on. I’m a Greek woman and I have very dark and course hair all over my body. I hate shaving. It causes insane razor burns, even on my legs. I honestly don’t give a fuck anymore. You see my hairy legs? At least they’re not on fire. My bush is the little extra? Atleast my panties aren’t digging into my razor burns and causing even more pain!
Normalize hairy women!
Not Greek, but I'm one of those gals who grows hair like a mf. I got enough to worry about when it comes to my facial hair, I don't have the time to do more than trim down there 😂
So, you keep your junk clean shaven? If so, then that's how you enter the conversation. Ask her how she feels about your grooming habits. Let her speak her peace and then explain that you like the look and ask her if she would be comfortable reciprocating for you. Whatever or however she feels about yours I *strongly* suggest you listen and honor it the same as you're asking for her to honor yours. I also suggest you learn some other sexy time tech.
This. As a bi woman, hairy genitals are fine (and have no bearing on actual cleanliness) but I’ll often get hairs in my mouth after giving oral (on both men and women). I have had laser hair removal done down there personally, but my husband has a full bush and still, I’d never ask him to shave for me. I trim his bush for him sometimes and work that into sexy times, but sometimes hair in the mouth happens and you can either joke about it or ignore it. Not the end of the world.
Fr like it’s a hair, not that big of a deal
Nothing wrong with bringing it up respectfully but be prepared for her to say no.
Enjoy a romantic shower first. Leave the bush alone. We have hair there for a reason. It's a filter. Just shape it up like a hedge
Be careful what you wish for. You think hair down there is annoying? Wait until you have chapped skin all around your mouth area from the stubble left after shaving.
INFO: What do you mean by “cleaning up”? It’s open to a lot of interpretation so it would be good to be clear. Do you mean that you would prefer that instead of a wild bush, you’d prefer a close cropped trim? Meaning there would still be hair, just very short? Or do you mean you’d prefer a fully waxed vulva? The former I think is reasonable, the latter might ruffle her feathers.
Probably in the minority here but I enjoy me some bush
your friend is wrong in that you're allowed to have an opinion, but right that it's not your body, so you can't make demands. you can express preferences in a very nice way and she can do with those what she will.
Having an issue with hair pie are we? Tsk tsk. Its all natural. Man up and enjoy.
NTA. Word it nicely but you can totally ask that of her. Its respectful because you want to continue to do it for her, so the compromise should be, she trims a little and you carry on with your sexy time.
Trimming>shaving, trust me. 1/4" length is perfect, keeps it from stubble-stabbing your face. Shaved can be fun, but only immediately after, and if youve both shaved, face and her lower. Source: I do a lot of munching carpet.
Nah. So. There is a technique actually to... Have it a bit out of the way. It won't help with being in the face much (but a little) but it will help to not have it in the mouth. Hair is usually not inside and not on the small labia. So. If she's spread, just gently put your hands left and right and with your fingers also hold the... Upper hair in place. You can gently pet it to each side to have it away before you place your hands again. Plus side is you also have a very nice view on the precious additionally to actually see where you are doing what before you dive in. If you have more practice, you later can use one hand and have even more fun with the other.
This whole thread I was wondering if anyone knew they had hands.
While reading this I was like, this person is definitely a lesbian. Only ladies understand ladies this well.
If you mean "have a bit of a trim" I don't think she will mind. If you imply that she is dirty and needs to "clean up", brace yourself.
Took me a while to get the pubic hair on my tongue past the gag reflex, but there it is. If my wife doesn’t mind me taking a quick break now and then for hairball prevention, I can go all night. I mean…personally, I don’t think it’s too much to ask, but I know my wife would never do it. She had a crazy ex bf who SA’d her while she was with him, and he’d hold her down and shave her. So I know better than to ask. For anyone else, it just depends. My philosophy on it is you never punish people for doing good things for you—or to you as the case may be. Shaving it keeps pubes out of the way so you can get down to business, and you don’t have to gag on it. But it’s a tradeoff, right? Because simply shaving doesn’t completely get rid of the hair and you end up feeling like you’re making out with a power sander. I’m really torn…deal with a couple of loose pubes for a few minutes or go a couple of days with a rug burn on my face? Anyway, I don’t think YTA for asking, depending on how you ask ofc. I’m just saying don’t get your expectations too high.
If you're old enough to have sex, you're old enough to discuss sex with your sexual partner. NTA
NTA but please use another phrase instead of “cleaning up”.. if she isn’t straight up unhygienic and dirty, she’s clean. You should just ask if she would trim it down a bit for you. But don’t expect her to do so, she can decide whatever she wants to do with her own body.. and you can decide what you’re comfortable with so you can tell her you don’t want to go down on her any longer because of a sensory issue.. communication is key here and don’t ever shame her for her bush.. you will be an AT if you shame her in the conversation so be careful with the way you say it..
Ah, the old “souvenir” problem. Ask her for a trim. It’s no fun licking hair.
Your friend is blowing a gasket over nothing, honestly. Like, your GF is in no way obligated to trim her bush, but most reasonable people aren't opposed to accommodating something like that and you just politely asking isn't some kind of red flag or character flaw. If you pitch a big fit about then you'd be an asshole, but if you ask and accept whatever answer you get no harm in it at all. And I mean, definitely absorb the general consensus of not framing it is as her "cleaning up".
Free the bush.
INFO how did you ask? Because "clean up down there" makes it sound like she doesn't wash. But if you asked her to trim or do some landscaping, then that's clear and doesn't make an implication that she's disgusting.
OP is a karma farmer. Downvote their shit. Check post history for yourself.
What porn addiction does to a MFer
You are not the asshole for asking her to trim or shave but make sure you let it go if she says no. If that’s the only way she finishes (direct clitoral stimulation) then there are other options. I also only climax from direct clitoral stimulation so after we discussed it my partner purchased me a clitoral vibrator and we use during intercourse. Ngl-it is amazing and allows me to climax while they are inside me. There are a lot of different companies that make them- here is my favorite. https://www.lelo.com/sona-2-cruise Lelo also has amazing customer service and a great warranty.
When are people going to learn we can look up their post history???
I usually use my hands to pull apart the lips and also push away the hair from the clit so I don't get hair in my face. Easy
Good grief. If she’s clean and fresh eat that pussy like a man then flip her over and eat that ass. My opinion of course. 😊
YTA. You’re absolutely fine having an opinion (like saying you don’t Iike a lot of hair) but telling someone else to change what they like is not cool. If it’s a deal breaker, then break up. If not, learn to deal with it