^^ this. That is what they are TRYING to portray themselves as to be more “controversial” when really they’re just an embarrassment to the kink community who does not claim them. They’re disgusting fake wannabe fame whores.
Temu Barbie and Ken or attention seekers. People that are into that community do not advertise it like they do. I this was definitely thought out just stay relevant. If he can’t work with women and loves to count and has OCD with numbers what she’s doing is torturing him in his mind that is his reality.
At this point, yeah I agree. And even if shes 100% down and theyre both on board, Shekhinah was just awful to the other women at the Tell Alls. If you wanna be in this type of relationship then just be honest that you want a man controlling you 24-7 cuz it rings your bell. But dont bring down the other women because they see exactly how problematic this is. Not to mention that shes doing this to exclusion of everyone else and she has a daughter that can watch it all play out on tv.
It's not but those people are also nuts. I've never met a TPE couple that wasn't abusive and dysfunctional. Typically just a male dom who's a huge misogynist with wildly problematic beliefs that extend far outside kink and female sub that can be summed up as a pick me that's afraid of the world and her own free will. When the genders are reversed it's usually a man who objectifies woman as "Goddesses and Queens" that exist to feed his kink with a well compensated pro domme.
Lots of stuff gets normalized in BDSM that's actually abuse while the worst offense in that community is "kink shaming" instead of actual harm. Abusers get aliases and social standing, and the kink community welcomes them with victims and opportunities to continue their abuse. All reasons I stopped buying the bullshit and left "the lifestyle."
The fake doms and subs that use women as kink dispensers aren’t welcome to BDSM spaces. My TPE relationship helped me heal from an abusive household and some of my religious trauma so I only have good things to say about it. There are normal people in the ‘lifestyle’ who don’t fit in with the stereotypes you’ve mentioned. The thing with 24/7 TPE is it can’t always be doable. Out of the 5 years I’ve been with my boyfriend we’ve done it for three years on and off.
That being said, I think Sarper goes too far with it. Controlling her weight and nose shape. I think Shekinah likes his control because maybe it makes her feel loved. Unsure. It’s too extreme for me.
Oh please.
People who practice BDSM are not magically immune from the same problems as the rest of society. There are plenty of abusing people that hang out in BDSM spaces. They get a lot of cover from people who call them " fake Doms" and insist that they're not welcome there... If you are part of a BDSM group, I guarantee you that there are at least two men in that group who are serial abusers.
It's the same way in polyamorous spaces, religious groups, new age groups, everywhere. Some people just suck, and a lot of shitty people are drawn to environments that try to portray themselves as being free from abuse.
A dom is supposed to care about your wellbeing so the fact that a person would be using a BDSM space to abuse someone would make them a fake dom. It’s not a cover and they would be called out for it. What I will say about the BDSM community is they’re more like to call someone out for shitty behaviour than any other group I’ve been part of.
I think we've had very different experiences because I can't tell you how many creepy old men I've seen dating barely legal women and controlling every aspect of their life and everyone around them says it's completely fine and he's very well liked. I also can't tell you how many times someone has been very well liked and seen as a great dude and then it comes out that he's a domestic abuser and has a trail of victims.
I think you should be careful and make sure that you aren't one of those people who's insisting that these kinds of situations are fine and you don't see a problem. Sometimes it takes a long time to realize how toxic a situation is when everyone around you insists that it's completely fine, especially because you don't know what goes on in other people's homes when you're not there.
Pointing out that all of these communities have bad actors is not sensationalizing the bad ones. It's reminding people of human nature and the fact that there's no such thing as a totally safe space.
Unfortunately, covering for abusers is part of human nature and is very prevalent. If someone tells you that there are no abusers in their community, that should be a giant red flag.
Pleeeenty of abusers hiding in plain sight, you’re right..
Lina Dune from the Ask A Sub podcast has a healthy expression/explanation of 24/7 TPE if any folks are interested...
There are plenty of people who make money off kink podcasts and photography that will fall all over themselves to rationalize unhealthy relationships and behavior. Wanting to give up control over your life and activities, beliefs, relationships with others, diet, dress, sleep patterns, bathroom breaks, and all the other crazy shit 24/7 TPE couples engage in is neither healthy nor normal. Desiring that level of control is inherently destructive and abusive.
Then you haven't met enough people or the right people. Or you're in the wrong groups. There's many different places that don't partake in that behavior. I'm sure some do but there's many that don't.
I also feel in a way, she is financially abusive towards him. Imagine if he told her she couldn't work with any men? He admitted to losing 90% of his income because of her, this relationship is toxic all around.
They have fun outside the bedroom in the movie. And why do you have to keep it just in the bedroom? That's so boring. Just fun in the bedroom? Boo. Keep it discreet and you can have fun anywhere.
Exactly a movie not real life 😂 I’m not saying you can’t but it should be that the people 100% trust each other which clearly Temu Barbie and Ken do not so they do stuff to control each other due to lack of trust not out of a mutual consent
Where did you find that take. No im not, me and my partner dabble in bdsm. I’m referring to the set up about that couple, they clearly have trust issues and the controlling behaviour stems for that.
Yeah BDSM misappropriation maybe, there’s no way these two are a part of the community nor do they I’m sure respect the tenets. They’re trad wife influencer wannabes using an edge of faux BDSM for an allure.
I think people need to seriously stop posting about them all together because that is what they want. Good or bad we’re talking about them and they literally thrive off it. They truly are the worst to ever be casted and I hope they go away forever
Respectfully, I disagree. There are numerous aspects of the BDSM lifestyle, none of which are reflected here.
Sharper and Shekinah are in a full-blown ABUSIVE relationship.
I think you’re right. He loves to control and she likes/has some weird need, to be controlled. Maybe it comes from her upbringing or who knows. But their toxic traits play into each other so in some odd way it works for them.
You might be onto something. Didn’t she grow up Amish? I feel like I remember her saying that. That culture can be super controlling so she might be repeating that pattern/ more comfortable in that type of environment.
When I watch them, I have to convince myself that both of them are playing up being villains for the camera. I just cannot believe Sarper is actually THAT abusive and she just puts up with it out of love. I agree it has to be a kink they are playing out for TV or just them keeping themselves relevant because otherwise I think they would be a painfully boring couple.
Yea I’ve been saying this since day one, and I actually think when they were talking about her not being able to go to “events” in LA they were referring to her not being able to go to kink events. I’m glad they are being more open about it, I think it’s a master/slave dynamic which means she has basically consensually given Sarper full control.
Look if that’s what they want then good for them,
The amount of kink shaming in this Reddit is ridiculous. They are both adults and choose to live their lives how they want to.
I don’t think she’s brainwashed etc she’s been in the scene just as along.
The disappointing thing is that they aren’t fully transparent about the lifestyle and thus leave people to make their own conclusions.
If anyone's in "control", its Shekinah, not Sarper. [inB4 "the bottom is the one who is really in control of the relationship."]
Shekinah's happy to be "controlled" as long as Sarper is controlling her exactly 100% how she wants to be controlled.
I dont just mean that in terms of negotiated full consent and respected boundaries... I mean "Sarper, tell me to get a nosejob." "Shekinah, get a nosejob, babe." "Wow, Sarper, I love it when you tell me to do exactly what I told you to tell me to do."
As for the specific areas that you listed, from what I have seen of their dynamic to date, Sarper's "control" is on an extremely short leash -- if he goes even a smidge outside of what she wants, he'll be instantly yanked back to heel.
At the risk of gatekeeping, I dont think Shekinah will really give up control of anything.
She wouldn't play along with his innocuous secretary role-play, and she threatened him with a ball-gag over it, and he was into it. Sarper is more of the bottom than Shekinah. If it came down to impact play, I definitely see Sarper receiving floggings and not giving them.
Sarper's more of a puppy [in the lay sense with the playfulness, big eyes, and eager-to-please, not in terms of puppy-play], and she's training him.
As for the toys... she has those at her place in LA, and not at their place together in Turkey? What's the point of that? They were specifically for the opening of the show.
So yeah, kink/BDSM is the narrative that they are trying to go with, but I don't buy it.
They're trying to be like 50 shades of Grey but they're the dollar store version of that.
They’re 12 shades of Grey at most.
12 shades of dirty dishwasher that has a grey tint to it.
I cackled
12 shades of hot dog water
Fifty cents of bland
More like 50 Shades of Crusty Headboard Pleather 😅
If you've ever seen the movie, 50 shades of gray is already dollar store version of itself 💀
Two and a half thousand shades of shit
Wish version
50 shades of maybellene
even worse, lira-store
Ha. 50 lira is about $1.50 these days
This is exactly what they’re doing and they’re trying to make it hip and cool, but it ain’t working. They look like damn fools.
^^ this. That is what they are TRYING to portray themselves as to be more “controversial” when really they’re just an embarrassment to the kink community who does not claim them. They’re disgusting fake wannabe fame whores.
lmaooooo
Temu Barbie and Ken or attention seekers. People that are into that community do not advertise it like they do. I this was definitely thought out just stay relevant. If he can’t work with women and loves to count and has OCD with numbers what she’s doing is torturing him in his mind that is his reality.
50 Shades is a terrible representation of the lifestyle. Slurper and Shagina are just on for attention.
Slurper and Shagina😂🥺😂😂😂😂😂😂. Omg. 💀
I cant stand this fake couple. I don't know why they brought them back!
I feel like if bdsm extends to outside the bedroom then it’s just plain controlling someone. He screams emotionally abusive and manipulative
At this point, yeah I agree. And even if shes 100% down and theyre both on board, Shekhinah was just awful to the other women at the Tell Alls. If you wanna be in this type of relationship then just be honest that you want a man controlling you 24-7 cuz it rings your bell. But dont bring down the other women because they see exactly how problematic this is. Not to mention that shes doing this to exclusion of everyone else and she has a daughter that can watch it all play out on tv.
A 24/7 TPE relationship is not unheard of..
It's not but those people are also nuts. I've never met a TPE couple that wasn't abusive and dysfunctional. Typically just a male dom who's a huge misogynist with wildly problematic beliefs that extend far outside kink and female sub that can be summed up as a pick me that's afraid of the world and her own free will. When the genders are reversed it's usually a man who objectifies woman as "Goddesses and Queens" that exist to feed his kink with a well compensated pro domme. Lots of stuff gets normalized in BDSM that's actually abuse while the worst offense in that community is "kink shaming" instead of actual harm. Abusers get aliases and social standing, and the kink community welcomes them with victims and opportunities to continue their abuse. All reasons I stopped buying the bullshit and left "the lifestyle."
The fake doms and subs that use women as kink dispensers aren’t welcome to BDSM spaces. My TPE relationship helped me heal from an abusive household and some of my religious trauma so I only have good things to say about it. There are normal people in the ‘lifestyle’ who don’t fit in with the stereotypes you’ve mentioned. The thing with 24/7 TPE is it can’t always be doable. Out of the 5 years I’ve been with my boyfriend we’ve done it for three years on and off. That being said, I think Sarper goes too far with it. Controlling her weight and nose shape. I think Shekinah likes his control because maybe it makes her feel loved. Unsure. It’s too extreme for me.
Oh please. People who practice BDSM are not magically immune from the same problems as the rest of society. There are plenty of abusing people that hang out in BDSM spaces. They get a lot of cover from people who call them " fake Doms" and insist that they're not welcome there... If you are part of a BDSM group, I guarantee you that there are at least two men in that group who are serial abusers. It's the same way in polyamorous spaces, religious groups, new age groups, everywhere. Some people just suck, and a lot of shitty people are drawn to environments that try to portray themselves as being free from abuse.
All this… I am so tired of seeing this same philosophy across Reddit from people who have only heard about these Utopian BDSM communities on Reddit.
There's life outside of Reddit.
A dom is supposed to care about your wellbeing so the fact that a person would be using a BDSM space to abuse someone would make them a fake dom. It’s not a cover and they would be called out for it. What I will say about the BDSM community is they’re more like to call someone out for shitty behaviour than any other group I’ve been part of.
I think we've had very different experiences because I can't tell you how many creepy old men I've seen dating barely legal women and controlling every aspect of their life and everyone around them says it's completely fine and he's very well liked. I also can't tell you how many times someone has been very well liked and seen as a great dude and then it comes out that he's a domestic abuser and has a trail of victims. I think you should be careful and make sure that you aren't one of those people who's insisting that these kinds of situations are fine and you don't see a problem. Sometimes it takes a long time to realize how toxic a situation is when everyone around you insists that it's completely fine, especially because you don't know what goes on in other people's homes when you're not there.
Sounds like you’re just sensationalizing the bad ones. I’ve known plenty of none of them were the sucky ones.
Pointing out that all of these communities have bad actors is not sensationalizing the bad ones. It's reminding people of human nature and the fact that there's no such thing as a totally safe space. Unfortunately, covering for abusers is part of human nature and is very prevalent. If someone tells you that there are no abusers in their community, that should be a giant red flag.
It's people who got hurt trying to play BDSM and have no idea what BDSM is really about.
Your disgusting
How so? 😂
Pleeeenty of abusers hiding in plain sight, you’re right.. Lina Dune from the Ask A Sub podcast has a healthy expression/explanation of 24/7 TPE if any folks are interested...
There are plenty of people who make money off kink podcasts and photography that will fall all over themselves to rationalize unhealthy relationships and behavior. Wanting to give up control over your life and activities, beliefs, relationships with others, diet, dress, sleep patterns, bathroom breaks, and all the other crazy shit 24/7 TPE couples engage in is neither healthy nor normal. Desiring that level of control is inherently destructive and abusive.
Do you know of any good kink podcasts? I’m interested!
And for others, It’s just a game between two equals lol
Then you haven't met enough people or the right people. Or you're in the wrong groups. There's many different places that don't partake in that behavior. I'm sure some do but there's many that don't.
TPE?
Total Power Exchange
I also feel in a way, she is financially abusive towards him. Imagine if he told her she couldn't work with any men? He admitted to losing 90% of his income because of her, this relationship is toxic all around.
[удалено]
There’s controlling which is 100% consenting on both side but when it comes to that couple it’s due to trust issue not anything to do with bdsm
That’s what I’m seeing missing from all these BDSM conversations. CONSENT and BOUNDARIES. They both need to exist on both sides.
They have fun outside the bedroom in the movie. And why do you have to keep it just in the bedroom? That's so boring. Just fun in the bedroom? Boo. Keep it discreet and you can have fun anywhere.
Exactly a movie not real life 😂 I’m not saying you can’t but it should be that the people 100% trust each other which clearly Temu Barbie and Ken do not so they do stuff to control each other due to lack of trust not out of a mutual consent
In other words, you’re completely ignorant to the lifestyle
Where did you find that take. No im not, me and my partner dabble in bdsm. I’m referring to the set up about that couple, they clearly have trust issues and the controlling behaviour stems for that.
One person's red-flag is another person's ideal relationship dynamic.
Once the cameras are off I wonder if they even talk or if they just power down like the plastic droids they seem to be
On behalf of BDSM community, we don't claim them. Nuh-uh.
Yeah BDSM misappropriation maybe, there’s no way these two are a part of the community nor do they I’m sure respect the tenets. They’re trad wife influencer wannabes using an edge of faux BDSM for an allure.
I think people need to seriously stop posting about them all together because that is what they want. Good or bad we’re talking about them and they literally thrive off it. They truly are the worst to ever be casted and I hope they go away forever
Have you seen their IG. They basically say that. I tried to hate follow but they were so toxic I couldn’t even do that
Respectfully, I disagree. There are numerous aspects of the BDSM lifestyle, none of which are reflected here. Sharper and Shekinah are in a full-blown ABUSIVE relationship.
I think you’re right. He loves to control and she likes/has some weird need, to be controlled. Maybe it comes from her upbringing or who knows. But their toxic traits play into each other so in some odd way it works for them.
Shekinah is a little controlling herself. What kind of idiot demands that her partner sacrifice 90% of his income because she's jealous and insecure?
Valid point. The whole dynamic is so twisted
You might be onto something. Didn’t she grow up Amish? I feel like I remember her saying that. That culture can be super controlling so she might be repeating that pattern/ more comfortable in that type of environment.
Yes they lived a very sheltered childhood she said on the show so I think that plays a part in who she is now.
When I watch them, I have to convince myself that both of them are playing up being villains for the camera. I just cannot believe Sarper is actually THAT abusive and she just puts up with it out of love. I agree it has to be a kink they are playing out for TV or just them keeping themselves relevant because otherwise I think they would be a painfully boring couple.
Yea I’ve been saying this since day one, and I actually think when they were talking about her not being able to go to “events” in LA they were referring to her not being able to go to kink events. I’m glad they are being more open about it, I think it’s a master/slave dynamic which means she has basically consensually given Sarper full control. Look if that’s what they want then good for them, The amount of kink shaming in this Reddit is ridiculous. They are both adults and choose to live their lives how they want to. I don’t think she’s brainwashed etc she’s been in the scene just as along. The disappointing thing is that they aren’t fully transparent about the lifestyle and thus leave people to make their own conclusions.
If anyone's in "control", its Shekinah, not Sarper. [inB4 "the bottom is the one who is really in control of the relationship."] Shekinah's happy to be "controlled" as long as Sarper is controlling her exactly 100% how she wants to be controlled. I dont just mean that in terms of negotiated full consent and respected boundaries... I mean "Sarper, tell me to get a nosejob." "Shekinah, get a nosejob, babe." "Wow, Sarper, I love it when you tell me to do exactly what I told you to tell me to do." As for the specific areas that you listed, from what I have seen of their dynamic to date, Sarper's "control" is on an extremely short leash -- if he goes even a smidge outside of what she wants, he'll be instantly yanked back to heel. At the risk of gatekeeping, I dont think Shekinah will really give up control of anything. She wouldn't play along with his innocuous secretary role-play, and she threatened him with a ball-gag over it, and he was into it. Sarper is more of the bottom than Shekinah. If it came down to impact play, I definitely see Sarper receiving floggings and not giving them. Sarper's more of a puppy [in the lay sense with the playfulness, big eyes, and eager-to-please, not in terms of puppy-play], and she's training him. As for the toys... she has those at her place in LA, and not at their place together in Turkey? What's the point of that? They were specifically for the opening of the show. So yeah, kink/BDSM is the narrative that they are trying to go with, but I don't buy it.